Cake Therapy
Cake Therapy is a heartwarming and uplifting podcast that celebrates the transformative power of baking therapy. Hosted by Dr. Altreisha Foster, the passionate baker, entrepreneur and advocate behind Cake Therapy, this podcast is a delightful blend of inspiring stories, expert insights and practical baking tips. Each episode takes listeners on a journey of self-discovery, emotional healing and connection through the therapeutic art of baking.
Cake Therapy
Cakes, Comfort, and Community: The Story of Mr. Bake
Dive into the comforting world of baking therapy with our season three opener, Kareem, better known as Mr. Bake. His journey from the bustling streets of Harlem to recognized baker and community advocate encapsulates the dynamic relationship between food and emotional wellness. With a rich tapestry of family recipes and modern desserts, Kareem reveals how baking transcends mere cooking—it's a powerful medium for healing, community, and self-affirmation.
Kareem recounts childhood memories that shaped his baking identity, highlighting the profound connections made through food. As he navigates his culinary path, he emphasizes the importance of fostering inclusivity and representation in the culinary world. In his eyes, every dessert has a story, and each recipe serves as a bridge to connect us with our roots and with one another.
Throughout this inspiring conversation, listeners will discover that baking is not only about creating delicious treats but is also a therapeutic outlet that nurtures mental health. With stories of overcoming adversity and uplifting others, Kareem’s insights offer practical advice for those looking to embrace their passions and prime their kitchens for healing.
Join us in sharing this episode far and wide! Subscribe, leave a review, and connect with us on our platforms. Your journey into the sweet, calming world of Cake Therapy begins here.
Remember to subscribe wherever you get your podcast. Share the episodes and let's chat in the comments.
Support the Cake Therapy Foundation:
1. Cake Therapy - Cake Therapy (thecaketherapyfoundation.org)
2 Buy Me A Coffee : The Cake Therapy Foundation (buymeacoffee.com)
3. Buy The Book: Cake Therapy: How Baking Changed My Life https://a.co/d/76dZ5T0
Follow Sugarspoon Desserts on all social media platforms @sugarspoondesserts
Welcome to the Cake Therapy Podcast a slice of joy and healing, with your host, Dr Altricia Foster. This is a heartwarming and uplifting space that celebrates the transformative power of baking therapy. The conversations will be a delightful blend of inspirational stories, expert insights and practical baking tips. Each episode will take listeners on a journey of self-discovery, emotional healing and connection through the therapeutic art of baking. There's something here for everyone, so lock in and let's get into it.
Speaker 2:Hi everyone. Welcome back to the Cake Therapy Podcast. I am coming to you from Jamaica. I am excited to speak to our next guest today, who is Mr Bake. It's Kareem. First of all, I want to thank you all, our subscribers, for subscribing to our podcast and the listenership is growing and I'm really excited about that. The other thing I'm excited about is that so many of our listeners are translating into subscribers, so just keep listening and subscribing as we go along.
Speaker 2:So, as I mentioned that, our guest today is Kareem, mr Bake Queenman. He's a professional baker, motivational speaker and describes himself as an event curator. He's known for his award winning desserts rooted in Southern family recipe and he has a deep passion for the culinary arts. That actually began in his grandmother's Harlem kitchen and this has turned his love of baking into a thriving business. Right now, mr Bake Sweets celebrates over a decade of business, a decade of successful business, and he's been included in the James Beard semifinalist and receiving the best cupcake and best new bakery awards in the Washington City paper in 2023. So I'm excited to talk to Kareem in the Washington City paper in 2023.
Speaker 2:So I'm excited to talk to Kareem. He holds a bachelor's degree in science and hospitality management, an associate degree in culinary arts from Monroe College. He also has a certification in essentials of restaurant management from the International Culinary Center. I am really, really excited to talk to Kareem. Like I mentioned, I'm currently in Jamaica visiting my mommy, but I just could not miss this conversation with Kareem today. So, guys, I'm really excited to welcome Kareem, mr Big, to the podcast. Welcome Kareem.
Speaker 3:Hi, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm excited Like I've been talking about this up top about how excited I am to have this conversation with you today, so much so that I'm doing it from Jamaica and I'm excited. It's hot as hell here. How is it for you?
Speaker 3:Oh well, it's actually stopped raining over here on the East Coast and the weather has been really beautiful to us, so nice sunny days. But it's a beautiful summer day here yeah, you're in washington dc.
Speaker 2:Yes, I am. Yeah, that's my whole stomping ground. Okay, I'm a howard grad.
Speaker 1:I'm a g double.
Speaker 2:Oh, come on oh come on with you. Come on, is he done, oh you know, yes, I am a howard grad, so that's dope. I'm excited. I want to move back to Washington DC so badly.
Speaker 3:Where are you originally located at?
Speaker 2:I used to live in Hydesville. So when I moved to DC I was living on campus over at the Towers Go HU. And then I moved to Hydesville and then I moved to Cleveland when I got married, and then back to Baltimore, and then back to Baltimore, and then now.
Speaker 3:I'm in Minnesota. Got you Okay? I have a wah-wah-wah for Minnesota. Wah-wah-wah, I have yet to go.
Speaker 2:But you know what? Let me tell you something Minnesota is a different vibe. It's not a DC vibe but it's a really dope. I think it's one of the best Midwest cities because there's life here. You know there's vibes here, but for me, I think because I made all of my friends in college and they all stayed on the East Coast and I'm a little bit introverted, so it's hard to really break into and make new friends, et cetera.
Speaker 3:So that's the challenge for me over here Got you, got you, got you, got you. Okay, I understand. That's interesting, so I've never been there but I love Chicago and that's probably one of the states that I visit the most in the Midwest.
Speaker 1:I love Chicago.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was going to move to Chicago before moving to DC. I'm originally from New York.
Speaker 2:I'm from New York City. Yeah Well, you know what I think. Minnesota isn't bad.
Speaker 3:I need to, though I need to, I do, I do, I do. You should come, you should come. There's life here.
Speaker 2:You know, there is life here because there are people moving from Washington DC to here. I mean I do, so you should come.
Speaker 3:You're like the third person I know that lives in Minnesota. I met this summer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then our current vice president of running made tweets from Minnesota. So you never miss.
Speaker 3:No, you're absolutely right.
Speaker 1:You're absolutely right, you're absolutely right, let's go ahead and say our future home.
Speaker 3:Vice president.
Speaker 2:Let's just put some energy in there.
Speaker 3:towards that, Please Lord. Okay, please Lord, because we don't got time for the playing the jokes. We don't got time, we don't got time for the games. We don't got time for the games. Please, your voice is loud.
Speaker 2:I know it is yeah, go vote people. Go vote Please.
Speaker 3:I'm not going to tell you who to vote for.
Speaker 2:Please Tell me, kareem, right, I love to hear about your earliest memories, things that actually sparked your love for baking. You know, when I watch your work I see I see passion and purpose, and then even hearing how the vision you have for your brand and your business it tells me there's so much more there. So tell me you know, share with us, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So, like I said, I'm originally from New York City, harlem, so shout out to Harlem World and I fell in love with street. Honestly, you know, it was because I was being fat, like I wanted to make a cake. My mom and my family is known for cooking. They do really, really well. My mother was an exceptional cook, but she just wasn't. She wasn't a baker. That wasn't her forte.
Speaker 3:And my aunts and them and certain family members only made like one or two baked goods and you knew that. You knew what they were, because they always were at family function, and then it would be the experimental things that show up. Um, but I enjoyed those things. So that's where it started from. I remember telling my mom I wanted to make my first, uh, I wanted to make a cake. And obviously she was like I don't know how to do that. So we went and we got a box cake mix. It was the Jiffy box cake mix, cause you know we love the Pillsbury Doughboy, especially as a kid right, so I got that yellow cake mix with chocolate, can, frosting and put it in a pan and nothing.
Speaker 3:And then that just became a thing. I just was doing it for myself. And then middle school wound up having cooking classes in them, so I took the cooking classes at middle school and that's what really solidified that this was the industry and the career path that I wanted to take for myself.
Speaker 2:Wow. So you didn't have anything else in mind, you were just all straight culinary.
Speaker 3:No. So there were other interests that I did like. As a kid, I loved teaching. I thought I might be a teacher. I liked teachers. I actually liked school at one point. That's when the math started getting mathy and I was like all right, get me out of here, right? But I actually liked going to school at one point, and then I also was interested in being like a lawyer because I still to this day, but not as heavy as I did.
Speaker 3:I used to always kind of challenge. I still challenge authority, and not in a negative way, but challenge the status quo, challenge the way that we think and the way that we move. I've always been doing that, like I remember, you know, and just a little snippet because I know people watching have to.
Speaker 3:You don't understand how it was challenging. My mom and I had bumped heads a lot. My mom would take her frustration out from the day, her day, her boyfriend at the time and take it out on me and my older brother and I remember telling her, like you know, at one point. You know, when we strip away the titles of son and mother, we're still human beings and we're the human being.
Speaker 3:Respect. You know, like I didn't do anything to you, we were just the genuine, so just how you understand how I was doing that. So I was interested in being a lawyer, teacher and cooking, but that just I don't know. It's something about creating your own in the kitchen. It was something about knowing that, especially when it came to baked goods, knowing that you were adding to someone's special occasion, like a wedding. You were lifting somebody up with a comfort dish and then dessert. You were always the last thing people ate. So if yours was really good, you left a lasting impression, because they're always leaving saying whatever that dessert was good, that pudding, that mousse, that cake, that pie, that ice cream sorbet, it was good. Like, I don't want that.
Speaker 2:You know it lingers, so yeah, yeah, so you know, outside of your interests or the many interests you have, becoming an attorney or just going in a different artistic form. When was the decision made or when did you decide that you were going to center your life really?
Speaker 3:around baking and sweets. Seventh grade, it was literally seventh grade, Seventh grade. I said to myself this is it. Yeah, I did a lot of talks to myself. So I said to myself this is the career that I want. I'm going to be a baker, I'm going to be a cake artist. That's what I said. I'm going to have a small neighborhood bakery.
Speaker 3:I was also very aware AKA you could say nosy, but let's say observant and aware, to be positive and I watched the way that in which which my mom, who was a single parent, and many of my aunts are single parents, held their house down. I saw the way the community was being treated. So I just said that this was something that I was going to put into the community. But not only put this into the community, but make it a part of the community and then start like nonprofits or give jobs to rehabilitating the men who were incarcerated, getting them back into jobs, Because I've seen that a lot of people went to prison for like petty crimes and that didn't make them a bad person.
Speaker 3:They didn't kill anybody, you know. They just shot the people to feed their families. You know what I mean. And because of the color of their skin and the systematic stuff that's been going on. I knew that they weren't going to get the breaks that they needed. So I always was thinking about community. Since I was a kid and I knew that I was and I loved baking. It really was just something that was fun to me, it kept me out of trouble, it kept me focused and stuff like that. And my family loved it because I was able to be the one to start baking dishes for family functions and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so you're from where is your? So your grandmother is from Harlem. You're a boy.
Speaker 3:No, my mother and my aunts are all from Harlem, from the Bronx and Harlem. My grandmother is actually from a small town in South Carolina called Edenville, south Carolina, and she migrated and had all her children well, three out of four of her children in New York City. And you know that great migration to have a better life and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:I know one of our partners actually his family migrated from the South to Minneapolis, so I do, I do understand that transition. So tell me a little bit more about your desserts and that Southern flair, that New York flair. Do you incorporate any of these things in your recipe?
Speaker 3:Yes, absolutely, absolutely. Before I get into some of the dishes that I'm known for, a lot of my baking, I mean, it took a while to find, for me to find my voice in the community as well as what I was bringing to the world and that happened over the last like five or six years. And what I've come to the conclusion is that I was bringing to the world and that happened over the last five or six years, and what I've come to the conclusion is that I make nostalgic comfort, classic American dessert.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. That just happened to be deeply rooted in African-American stubborn culture and way of cooking. So you think you know slice cake to and then elevating them. Cause you know. Actually you know I've done custom and decorative cakes for a very long time and people know me for that custom work between New York and DC and on national television.
Speaker 3:So I just found a way to incorporate art and beauty into something that would be rustic and very home-styled desserts, which I still offer. But how do you beautify something that reminds you of your aunt when you slice into it or when you put your spoon into that? So I would say that's my style of cooking and baking is very classic American nostalgic dessert. And then some of the things that I and some of the I never answered this part, I'm so sorry and some of the dishes I'm known for, like my sweet potato cake, comes from my aunt's sweet potato pie. She was known, like I said, she ain't make that many things, but she was known for her sweet potato pie.
Speaker 3:I didn't really like sweet potato pie growing up, not that I was against sweet potato pie, I was more of a cake eater. I was just more of a cake ice cream eater as a kid. So I never really went to pies like that unless they were like apple pie, double-crusted fruit pie. So when I got an opportunity to reimagine what my art, superfood pie, would look like in a cake form, because I was doing cake, that's what I came up with and that became one of the staples.
Speaker 3:And then her banana pudding is something that she started out using instant, and then her banana pudding is something that she started out using instant, and then I took it, obviously being trained. I then converted it and made similar, similar steps, but didn't go ahead and make everything from scratch. So the custard, the pudding and everything is made from scratch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your food and your desserts have so much familial influence, right, and for me, I started baking just for myself, as a hobby, to unwind, really to take my mind off of what was really happening when you since you've turned all of your comfort foods into these well-known menu items. What is your favorite thing to bake on your downtime Not for clients on your downtime Okay, okay, okay, okay, thank you. I was like eesh eesh, One of my favorite things, actually new things.
Speaker 3:New things I'm always into challenging myself, like I'm in a space of wanting to work back with more, like work under a pastry, just for like a few, just a few stages, because I never really focused on plated desserts um, honestly, and I'm like I want to get into that, I want to challenge myself so I'm always interested in creating things or working on things that are new to me.
Speaker 3:it allows me to just drift away in what I'm making and really focus on you know that dessert and what that in end result is going to look like, and then taking that end result and then tweaking it from there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you know what I love hearing you mention that you liked experimenting with food, because one of the questions I had is I was reading through your notes. I'm like, okay, zajim's there at semifinalists, he's been on TV, he has all these awards To me. I wanted to, kind of I still need to find out, like, how do you stay inspired, right and continue to innovate in the culinary space that you live in because you've been so successful, you've been recognized for a lot of the work that you've done, and sometimes some of us sit back in our laurels and we're like, ok, we've done this, we've gotten here. How do you stay innovated, you know, motivated to continue to innovate?
Speaker 3:Yeah, one thing that motivates me honestly is always my own innate spirit to just want to see a better version of myself. I've been in a personal growth. I've always been in a personal growth space. I'm always, as you notice, I'm always, like I said, challenged. That's how I kind of set the tone of who I am personally, from such a young age, I've always questioned status quo and authority when it doesn't seem like it fits and makes sense.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and then I question myself when it comes to that, how are you showing up? How can you show up differently? You know, like one of the mantras I don't know all of them right now, but some of the mantras I have on my back of the window, a mirror is how can I become more human? How can I allow? How can I let go and accept? You know so, just always always challenging myself and being courageous, and even more so now, stepping into fear, grabbing fear by the neck and saying I'm scared, but I'm still going to do it anyway. And then sometimes, maybe I just told the youth the other day, on Monday, literally a week ago. It was like I don't know what I want to do and stuff like that, and I don't know if I want to be in culinary or not.
Speaker 1:And I said let me tell you something.
Speaker 3:Half these adults don't know what they want to do. We are all, some of us just flying by the wind, you know, and things are just opening up to us and some of us are really just saying you know what? I'm gonna just go to this, this award show, or something. And then next thing, you know, you meet somebody who then thinks of you in two or three weeks or a year later and gives an official opportunity and you're like, yeah, I want to do that.
Speaker 2:You get what I'm saying, then you become aligned to it.
Speaker 3:yeah, another thing that I do is I'm intentional about the energy, about what I feed myself and when I say feed myself, not only through the foods that we eat, but also through the social media any kind of media that I consume. I don't watch the news often because that doesn't spike my spirit and keep them high. Often my algorithm on Instagram is catered towards me, so I make sure that I put notifications on like for you if I like the work that you're doing and you're speaking to me.
Speaker 1:I'm going to follow everything that you're doing.
Speaker 3:I don't care about you seeing me like all your likes or me commenting to your posts. I don't care because I want your stuff to keep coming up, because you are an inspiration for me and that's what I want to get fed. I don't want to get fed the other stuff that I see or other stuff that I could see. So I'm very intentional and mindful about that and then allowing myself to be, and I'm going to end it off with this.
Speaker 3:It's okay to just sit, it's okay to just relax, because those are when things come to you. I started working on books two years ago because I took a solo trip and it said you should start writing and I started writing. Okay, yeah, that's it. That's just what I do. I'm like, I'm gonna listen to myself, my intuition, and also listen to yourself.
Speaker 3:I've learned along my journey. I learned along my journey that I need to listen to my intuition. For those who are spiritual or religious, you already know if you are a piece of God and God is in you, then therefore that's what you should be listening to and follow that direct and follow that.
Speaker 1:So that's just it.
Speaker 3:I'm literally listening to what my spirit, my leading person in my life, my higher calling is following me to be, come and to be. So that's all I'm doing to be To me.
Speaker 2:I believe I need to adopt the old habit of having mantras. You know, how can I be more human? I love that. How can I be more human?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. Strip away your titles. You're a human being. At the end of the day, you're a human being and being human means. How can I live with more light? How can I live with more love? How can I live in acts of service? That's it, because, if I can, embody those three spirits and those three things, everything for me is going to be beautiful. Even in the world that's burning behind me or in front of me, I can still be grounded, still and find a way to make it through.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what? Just hearing you, I can connect with something you said after you lost your mom in 2017. And I'm going to read it just right here. You said you made it your mission to represent Black and queer makers on a national scale. How has that mission influenced your work and your public persona?
Speaker 3:Ooh, that was a journey.
Speaker 2:It was a journey.
Speaker 3:It's a journey, so one through the loss birthed a purpose was a journey. It was a journey. It's a journey, so one through the loss birthed a purpose in the passion. It gave me something to look up, to look forward to. It allowed me to start creating what a legacy could be, because when my mom passed, it made me think of my own mortality and who or what I was leaving on this earth, like how do I want that imprint to be? So? That gave me the positive outside of that you know situation of losing my mom. It was a positive. It was something that I can like move forward to.
Speaker 3:Well, baby, it's a journey, because I tell people, though you see the work like you see the TV, you see the recognitions, the write-ups and stuff like that the work that you don't see is the work that I'm doing on me, and that's how I always tell people I'm like yes.
Speaker 3:I'm thankful for my name and my brand being in spaces that I never could have imagined, but what I'm really more thankful for is the person that I'm becoming, the person I became. That has been the most powerful journey, and it's been a hard one, because I had to sit there and dig deep. I had to ask myself those questions and I seek help.
Speaker 1:So don't think I was over here doing it myself.
Speaker 3:I had therapy for three and a half years almost four and then I, like I said, I catered things around me, so I had mantras that I read from my bedroom to my bathroom with walls. There was motivational speech that I listened to on YouTube.
Speaker 1:So I just saw a lot of pain.
Speaker 3:Dwayne Dyer is your GD James. You know what I mean. All your successful, your Oprah Winfrey's.
Speaker 1:I listened to the successful people and then I cut out a lot of the chatter, so a lot of things. It's been a journey. It's a hard one. I like to tell people.
Speaker 3:It's not easy. But I'm gonna say something. When you get to the side of you starting really fully loving the person you see in the mirror every day, nothing can stop you after that.
Speaker 2:I know, you know. Yeah, I try to feed myself too with the same food that you know you subscribe to, because right now.
Speaker 2:I'm on a personal journey, like I'm losing my mom and it's just watching the decline. It's just, it's hard, it's a tough experience, but then I sometimes I have to sit back and say what's her legacy? You know, and I see that her legacy is me, and what is it that I'm going to do with what she bestowed on, instilled inside of me? And so I have to feed myself with good food and this is the work that I'm committed to doing. I know I I digress because you know I relate to you, as you know how losing your mom really inspired you to go higher and bigger. You know, to make sure that that that gets the lips on. So, you know, thank you for sharing, along with this thank you for sharing that as well.
Speaker 3:There's always a safe space. I know this is your podcast, but outside of this there's always a safe space for that journey um, my mother's four for seven months before she passed. So it is always a space for that journey to watch your mother just use all the strength that she can to continue to be present in this world. So I see that.
Speaker 2:I see that thank you so much. Yeah, so how do you stay grounded, you know, maintain the authentic mr bake that we all see. How do you stay as you know? Maintain the authentic Mr Bake that we all see. How do you stay as authentic in the industry, you know, because sometimes I'm sure it becomes overwhelming often competitive? How do you yeah, yeah and then also not?
Speaker 3:even just competitive. Also, you got to remember when you said for queer black and brown bakers in the space also just for men, there's no black man in baking or pastry. Who is in mainstream, who is judging competitions on TV shows, who is acting, who's being asked to be flying, to flown out to Aspen, and all of that to do those big events for food and wine. There's nobody.
Speaker 2:There's just nobody there.
Speaker 3:There's nobody to look up to. So one. It's hard when you have nothing to look up to Right there there's nobody to look up to. So one. It's hard when you have nothing to look up to right. There's black men in the space, there's queer people in the space, but there's no one that identify with your intersections that you can actually relate to. So one of the things you said.
Speaker 1:How do I keep?
Speaker 3:grounded, all right. So most recently I'll tell you what I've done is I started implementing meditation into my daily practices and that can start. That starts out from I started out with 10 minute meditation to the 15 minute, the 20 minute I cut out a lot of negative chatter so I don't really involve myself with. So the foods that you eat, you know what I mean. So that's your social anything how you, who you hang out with, what you do when you hang out, because you should be doing those things.
Speaker 3:Media what am I viewing on my phone? To my TV, to movies. That's all important to me. Then what am I feeding? And then books am I reading? Am I educating myself through works of literature, by showing up to lecture, because those people who are speaking are inspired by them. So I'm always feeding myself those things and then allowing myself to be still and just exist in the space of my own. So with my room, my home, I have a backyard, you know, just existing, because those things connect me to my ancestors and allow me for my mind to just wander and create things.
Speaker 3:And then bake, obviously, and then baking, baking it was still a single source of solitude for me, but just those are things I do, can I just tell?
Speaker 3:people find things that you do, that you enjoy doing by yourself and with a small group of people. Or remember, if you don't know what that is, think about what you did when you was younger, when you needed to escape really quickly. You know, for me I walked coming from new york, so I walked a lot and I didn't know how therapeutic that was until I went to therapy and she was like oh, you was doing therapeutic things at a young age and I didn't know that you know so I know now how to center and power myself and stay grounded is to go walk, yeah, by myself, because that that gave meitude and comfort.
Speaker 3:So just finding things and you might already have it.
Speaker 2:And we overthink sometimes, we use the brain sometimes in the wrong way, so, yeah, yeah, you know, I like how intentional you are about prioritizing you, your mental health, and how intentional you are about taking scans. You know, taking a full body scan and then taking environmental scans. Talk to us a little bit about that because you know we have a lot of young bakers who are listening. We have a lot of youth who are listening because we're hoping to inspire them.
Speaker 2:Talk to them how important it is to be intentional about themselves and their spaces and their environments and everything that they're consuming. I know you mentioned it a little bit, but just go deeper for me, talk to them, take it away.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, it's very honestly, it's very important. Sometimes we are trying to control everything around us and not controlling the one entity that we have the most control over, which is ourselves. I cannot control how the weather is going to be when I wake up. I cannot control that there's going to be traffic if somebody got into an accident, you know. But what I control is control is how I show up. How do I respond to the weather when the weather's bad in the morning? You know what I mean. How am I controlling that if I know that I don't like the physically, the way my body looks, and I can make changes to that by eating light, by working out, by implementing positive things into my life.
Speaker 3:We overthink, I told you. We use the brain wrong. We use it to overthink, to get ourselves like how can we get this other person to do what we want them to do? And we should be getting ourselves to doing the things that we want to do and then watching everything else conform around you. You know being courageous, being fearless, being fearless and I'm going to tell you, being fearless does not mean to eliminate the fear. No, it's still going to be there.
Speaker 3:It's an active emotion and we all fear it. Beyonce fears it all the way down to your mother feels it. It shows you how human we all are at the end of the day. But what Beyonce does that you or your mom has mother feels, and it shows you how human we all are at the end of the day. But what we, what beyonce does that you or your mom has probably haven't done yet, is she grabs the fear by the neck and she says I'm going to bring you along. And what happened is the fear then diminishes because you stepped into it and what you get is a new version of yourself.
Speaker 3:Don't be afraid to challenge yourself and to become somebody new. Don't be stuck into the system that society has put in place and the categories and boxes that they label you in so it makes sense for them. You get what I'm saying. If you are unique and this is who you want to show up in the world, as as long as it's, like I said earlier, it's light, it's love and it has to do with some type of forms of acts and services, you are in the right way. The way you're going to start seeing everything around you change Even the people that you want to be around, the people that are how they talk to you and show up for you, is also going to change too.
Speaker 3:But I say this because I said a lot for young folks who's trying to digest it one foot in front of the other.
Speaker 2:That's it, one foot in front of the other. Be courageous, be fearless. You ought to have been fearless and courageous as you were to listen. You are everywhere. You've been on numerous national television shows. Okay, you must be fearless and courageous, and these are in competitive environment. It takes that kind of courage and that kind of fearlessness. You've been a guest, you've been a judge. How do you approach these opportunities, karim, trust me? How do you represent yourself in each and every one of these opportunities, your business and your community?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it starts with the self-respect of myself. It starts with making sure that at the end of the day because I'm going to tell you some of these events, I'm not. I do it because I love to do it Like it's a passion project, but also knowing that you're getting something out of it. You know what I mean. Not only are you giving the organization or the group of people something, you're getting something out of it as well and that's something out of it is just occupying the space.
Speaker 3:You know something like that and having other people see you in a space. They've never seen that your type of being in the space before, that they resonate with so much. So that's number one is something that I do.
Speaker 1:But what I also do is I negotiate.
Speaker 3:now I realize I have negotiating power. You know what I mean. Also, I read a book. It's called how to Influence People how to Win Friends and Influence People. Dale Carnegie is the author of that book and in that book it tells you how to. When you are pitching or speaking to someone, you speak to them in a way of hey, this is why you need me, this is why I'm going to be a great addition to what you have going on.
Speaker 1:Because what you?
Speaker 3:have already been able to do is this, and now adding my type of being there is only gonna elevate you. You make it look like it's the good for somebody else and they are always gonna win because you already know what world we live in. You already know if you live in America, you know it's capitalistic and it's always a okay, what can you do for me? Type of situation. So you always pitch it up to the point to make them look good and just say all I'm doing is the sprinkles on the cake.
Speaker 3:Okay you are the entire cake and I'm just the sprinkles and I'm thankful for that opportunity.
Speaker 3:That's how I look at it, yeah, but I know, but I know, inside I am the one, the only one. Do you get me? I, you know, I know that to be me and when I get there, I'm going to show out and I'm going to show my best foot forward. I'm going to put that one foot forward and it's going to be the best foot forward that you're going to get and you're going to remember. You want to go into a room and be remembered.
Speaker 3:Okay, If it's through a look if it's through the way you dress, it's just the way you smell, it's just the way your nails look, it's the way your teeth, your eyes. You know what I mean. Maybe your spirit just oozes out of you. Know what I mean with self-respect and love, that people are going to remember these things, and that's what you, that's all I tell you. Be rememberable in every room. So, whatever your superpower, that means you do it so well that you don't even have to practice it. It comes out, you show up with that. You'll always win.
Speaker 2:Exactly. You know what I tell, like girls and people who I come in contact with your first impression is going to be the lasting one, and if you get a second one, you have to continue to make impressions in every space you go in. You're right. Get a second one, you have to continue to make impressions in every space you go, and you're right. Girls, have you heard? Did you just hear? Mr bake seconded what I just said. You have to show up, you have to show up for yourself. Present presentation matters, it matters we keep thinking that it doesn't like we.
Speaker 2:It matters and we have to represent. How we show up is our resume. Sometimes Put that heel on and step in there, clean up, show up. So absolutely, you know you speak so much about service. Yeah, you speak to service and serving the community, and you do have a spirit of service.
Speaker 3:Believe me.
Speaker 2:I am connecting with how you want to serve and how you want to show up for your community, and that's what I do with my foundation, right? I want to serve the community. I want them to. How would I have? I want them to. I just want them to survive and I want them to feel valued and I want them to feel that they can thrive. How does this influence your work and your mission? This service, yeah, what service?
Speaker 3:do you have? Yeah, I bring about the act of service a lot. You know, dr Martin Luther King Jr said it best Not all of us can be famous, but all of us can do good. And goodness is through the acts of service. And it is important to me because community was the baseline to save me, to keep my train on a good track when I was younger, when, if it starts out from the neighborhood of family you know not not making me feel different because, let's say, I was a little bit more feminine as a kid, you know what I mean they still embrace me with love.
Speaker 3:I'm being born into a family. That's that's how it started. Right, that's my first level of community, my first level of service, my first level of love. Then, second, from that, I watched how the world around me was breaking down and listening to the chatters of the news we got. I grew up in an era and in the timeframe of what the Central Park Five grew up in, an era, oj Simpson and Rodney King beating in death. So when you have that, you have a Black mother and also in the drug epidemic. I bring all of that up because that was what influenced me to say I want to be a pillar for my community.
Speaker 1:And when?
Speaker 3:as a kid realizing that I wanted to be a pillar for my community. The next level was me growing up identifying being Black and gay and what that looks like, and the ballroom community in the gay world, in the gay community. You opened my eyes up to that. It showed me the different colors of who we could really embody as a being. I take all of that and say these are precious communities. These are, first of all, as being Black and being queer, we already know that we have been stolen and stripped from and not being represented for their talents, the talents that we have, and you know that goes along the entire black fast, whereas you, coming from Jamaica and watching foods and things that you have culturally eat and they come and they are appropriated and you go. Well, why are you not shouting out? You know what I mean?
Speaker 3:All the people that I know to make that and this is where this comes from, and things like that. So it becomes very important to me, and then it also becomes important that people see themselves. I remember I was a little kid watching Food Network and watching Emily Lugosi go bam and imagine now right.
Speaker 3:There's a little kid who's watching Kareem on Kelly Clarkson. You know who's watching Kareem show up and speak to them at their school. You know and say, yo, he's really down to earth. And he gave me his Instagram and I have his email. He talks to me.
Speaker 3:Oh, my God Like you know what I mean. Like they want that representation and relatability, and that's what I'm here for. I'm just here, for I was given excuse me. I was given, I was blessed to be instilled with this purpose and I'm going to live it out until the day that I have breathed my last breath.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. Accessibility is key. Accessibility is key to relationship building and community building. And, like you, I wrote a book. It's called Cake Therapy how Baking Changed my Life. Right, I ran up into this baking thing and it changed my life completely. I ran up into this baking thing and it changed my life completely. But then you tell that story and then you find that there are girls like you who now wants to know what else and how come? How did you do it? Oh, you know. And then tell you that I want to do it too. So my question to you is how can baking like me, where baking was a source of empowerment right, it empowered me to be able to tell my own personal story how can baking be a source of comfort and empowerment for marginalized individuals?
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh, that's a good question. How can it become? I guess I could tell how it became for me.
Speaker 1:Because each of our stories are different.
Speaker 3:I would say you see, I'm looking, I'm like. I would say it can be a safety, a place of safeness for you the kitchen that you can lose yourself in creating something or experimenting at something and watching how, what the end result will be. It gives you strengthening your math skills, your problem solving skills as well. If you want to go into baking, especially if you're doing it as a hobby or novelist, then you also get to. You know, share these things with your friends, family, post ones and loved ones.
Speaker 3:But I will say that people love to eat. So if you have something good that they love to eat, that's a great way to help you segue into getting to know people. If you find it hard to be social, or if you're finding it hard to make friends, or if you're finding it hard to live, you know what I mean. Baking brings a smile on my face. I tell people when I'm in the kitchen with me if you are not smiling and dancing, then I don't know what you're doing, because that's why I bake. I'm not stressed. I've never worked in stressful kitchens and if I did, I left very soon.
Speaker 2:It does have a major impact on your own personal mental health, because that's what we promote here at Cake Therapy Podcast Get in the kitchen to help your mental health struggles if you have them, of course.
Speaker 3:We all do. We all have setbacks. We all overthink. Half of us don't think that we are eligible and qualified enough to do the things that we think that we should be doing. So we all do. We all have that self-doubt. I self-sabotaged myself all the way For years. I found out that I was doing it in 2020, when I was 31. So I tell you, these are years. These are not too far ago. So long ago I started to learn lessons and start to love on myself even more, and that's why I always bring up the love of myself, Because when you love on yourself and then you won't block yourself, you won't stifle your own growth. We do that to ourselves. James Baldwin said it best Society will oppress you, but then you will start to oppress yourself, and that's what we do. We start to keep ourselves in a box and I said I just texted my friend and I said I'm going to live loud and live colorful until the day I die.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, like with each and every response you leave lasting words. You know with our listeners and I have to take a walk into you know, your motivational speaking aspect of your life. How does that fit into the big picture of who Mr Bake is? Tell our listeners.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, yes. So for me one I've always been interested in public speaking, public speakers. Shout out to my seventh grade teacher, mr Milligan, who implemented public speaking in our English course. He did not have to and it helped us, especially as young black and brown kids growing up in Harlem. We needed that. But it allows me to connect with more people. It allows me to become more in tune with my story. Yeah, because sometimes you get so caught up in living your story that you don't really take all the nuances for granted. Like yo, you did that.
Speaker 1:Like yo, you outgrew that Like did you pat yourself on the back?
Speaker 3:for that? Because just a month ago you said you wanted to show up differently, and now you're showing up differently and you're just doing it.
Speaker 2:You know so one.
Speaker 3:it does that, but it allows me to connect with more people, and to be honest I talk to.
Speaker 3:I talk to a lot of people. Just growing up, I've always been somebody people leaned on for advice, and so I learned, I listened to a lot of people climb mountains, rivers and try to climb over mountaintops, and stuff like that, and through the speaking, I'm hoping that my storytelling, and the way that I say it and the way that I present it and package it up to people, that it would motivate them to be their best versions of themselves. My speaking is, though, to transform the minds of the world. You're not just the group of people that I touch, but the minds of the world, and my thing is, you know, you throw a little coin out into the fountain, and it makes that a ripple effect, and it continues to keep going, and that's truly how I look at the work that I do. I like to throw a coin into the fountain, and that ripple effect is the aftermath, and that may not come until later on, and I'm okay with the multiple ripple effects.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what is the most rewarding thing that you have done throughout your career and what is your legacy?
Speaker 3:Well, one. I feel like I'm still living and writing my legacy, to be honest, but I will say that it's wrapped. It's still gonna be wrapped in what I said. It's gonna be wrapped with love, life and services. That's what I want you to say, that he embodied those things, and if you say those things about me and people say that now I say thank, thank you for seeing me, because that's who, exactly who I want you to see. That's what I'm trying to show up as, and so that's like the legacy part. What was the first part of that question?
Speaker 2:most rewarding thing for you so far most rewarding, all right.
Speaker 3:so time is a construct and we don't know that time. Multiple things can happen at one time, so we think that we're the only thing happening. So I tell you, in the rollercoaster of my life, there've been multiple things that have been very, very rewarding for me. Obviously, being acknowledged by the James Beard Foundation is one of them, and that was I mean I cried when I got that. That's when I got that. And the next, the other big thing, is this public speaking, like like being able to I navigate, I negotiated what I'm doing now for over a year.
Speaker 3:I had to let somebody know that you know what I mean To get this position that I am now doing is speaking, and I'm really happy about touching the next generation, because I'm always that's my way. You know, people go and protest and stuff like that Speaking to the youth I knew were always going to be my way of changing the world, because they were going to be the one I'm passing the baton to them and they were going to be the one that are going to be even more fearless, even more colorful and even more louder than me. And that's what I want. I want to feel that type of power in them that they can truly climb any mountain in their world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know as you're passing this baton, as you said, what would be your biggest advice to young bakers who look up to you Because they do right and they admire your work and they're seeing what you have achieved, not understanding the time and the years that you've invested in you and the business. Talk to these young bakers about how to own their passion and take a chance on themselves. And the third one is the journey to entrepreneurship what it's like if they want to take that chance on themselves.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so funny if you listen to the whole podcast, if you listen to this whole episode. I've been instilling different notes on how to show up in those spaces that you just mentioned, and the first thing is to love yourself, really do the work on yourself while practicing your passion. So if you're interested in going into entrepreneurship, start with something small. I started selling cakes in high school. A lot of people I love to tell that and I love to tell that to high school kids they go what I go. Yes, I used to bring boxes of cakes and donuts and all of that into high school and sell them to faculty members as well as classmates. So it can start as something small. If there's a, if there is a company or organization that you can get involved in in your neighborhood, that's box services. If it's out of food, so there's food. Obviously, bakery, kitchen, things like that, catering companies Go, reach out to these organizations and donate.
Speaker 1:If they can't hire, you give them two hours to four hours whatever, if you're giving out free time, you give them what you want.
Speaker 3:But make it so that you absorb something from them and test and see if this is something that you really want to go in. You know, learn the market and learn the craft of what you want to do and learn it on somebody else's down. That's the number one thing they tell you in business school. You can learn on somebody else's money, learn on somebody else's money and then implement those things into your own practices. That you will do your own business. That you will do, and then anybody out there that just wants to advance in themselves one foot forward.
Speaker 3:You got to remember as a young kid or a baby or toddler, the baby learned. When they started to learn to walk, they crawled first, then they got eager and got courageous enough and then they started to walk with the help of resources. So you don't have to do it by yourself. So the parents picking you up, your cousins coming over and picking the baby up and showing the baby how to walk like holding them up, that's the resources, that's the encouragement. You need, that around you to keep you going.
Speaker 3:Because that baby fell thousands of times before the legs. That mind started understanding how it should walk and then, once the mind realized how it should walk. The baby then started to say I want to run towards things, walk. The baby then started to say I want to run towards things. So then the baby started to take flight and it started to gain momentum and it started to run towards things. And when it started to run towards things, the resources were still around them, because they locked off things and said no, no, no, this is not where you should go.
Speaker 3:And baby, get down from there and grabbing them all of things. So the next step is then, hopefully, you will learn how to fly. Okay, and flying is scary, but the thing about flight is you might be alone in that flight, but the wind is your resources and you will get low, but that gust of wind will bring you back up to a new height every now and again. So just remember that everything is done in the process and I know we live in an instant world.
Speaker 3:Just understand that it may not happen today, but keep at it, yo. I have been doing what I've been doing since I was little. If I would have given up every time that somebody said they didn't like something that I make, I would not be talking on this podcast today and I wouldn't have. I didn't make my first shows that I applied for. If I would have gave up then I wouldn't have five competitions under my belt, opportunity to judge, opportunity for a docu-series, opportunity for daytime TV, multiple appearances. If I gave up on myself, you know what I mean. You know, if I applied for and we started to be a part of the Jays did multiple times and they said no and then they gave me a nomination.
Speaker 3:So sometimes you've got to dust yourself off and keep trying again, and those battle scars are the stories and your testimony and that is the validity that will keep you going. When it gets tough, when that rain feel like it's never going to stop, you lean back and you say, well, I did this and I did that, so then I can do this too.
Speaker 2:I feel like I should be doing a praise dance up in here. Okay, I'm from La Penta Costa and I should be like doing a Bishop Moss right now. Okay, because you just took us to church. Should I be doing Bishop Moss now? Okay, because you just took us to church, should I be doing?
Speaker 3:Bishop Moss. Oh, thank you.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, thank you so much for sharing and pouring into this podcast and our listeners, and you know I took from that. It's simple, like one step forward courage, be fearless, believe in yourself, do it with love, do it with light, right so into yourself and your abilities and your power, and whatever it is that you believe your purpose and passion is, go after it. Tell me what's next for you, because, jesus, that was good. Yeah, what you doing, man?
Speaker 3:oh, yes, yes, yes. So for the food brand part of part of the brand we've been developing this for a while. Now we're getting into packaged goods, so we have been developing dry mixes as well as ready-to-eat mixes and then hopefully we'll start creating a larger brand down the line.
Speaker 1:I told you I'm writing.
Speaker 3:So we're getting really I'm getting more intentional with that getting some resources and both resources in both places the CBG so I have a mentor and a class that I'm taking so I can become more me and my assistant to become more educated in that field. And then for book writing, obviously taking some classes now, speaking to some previous authors or future authors about their process to just get more insight into that. And then public speaking, looking to pick that up a lot more. There's a media aspect, so it's hard to get into television, but I'm looking to do a lot more in that space and hold a lot more space there in media. So you'll see that, but that's more of a slow study. And then I'm going to be traveling a lot. So next year I'm looking, so look out for me guys. Um, it's mrbigsweetscom sign up to the newsletter, or mr big streets on instagram, because I'm going to be might be in your city and would love for you to come out and support doing residency, weekend residencies and pop-ups with other chefs absolutely, mr big.
Speaker 2:Mr Big Kareem, thank you. Thank you so much. It's been an honor for me really. I've been fed and it, you know, rarely do I sit because you know like you're going through these conversations and your producer sends you notes and you're trying to make sure that you get everything. But I've been so engaged and in tune and I received so much you. I received so much. I received so much from you today and I'm hoping that our listeners have received even double what I received in this space.
Speaker 2:And I hope they received their slice of joy and healing. And when podcasts are so good, I just wish people received the entire cake, not just a slice of joy, and I am just so grateful. You know the girls who I advocate for on a daily basis. I know they have learned and they will have received whatever it is that you've sent them through the airwaves today, and so thank you so much for your time. I want to thank our listeners for being here. I want to thank our subscribers for subscribing. Continue to support the Kink Therapy Foundation for Girls, mr Begg, thank you. I want to thank our subscribers for subscribing. Continue to support the Cake Therapy Foundation for Girls, mr Begg. Thank you, I'm filled. Leave me. This has been like a pleasure, so thank you for coming.
Speaker 3:Thank you, thank you for having me, thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:Today's mindful moment. A well-prepared dish is a gift of love not just for others but for yourself.
Speaker 1:Remember to subscribe wherever you get your podcast and if you found the conversation helpful, please share it with a friend. Also, follow Sugar Spoon Desserts on all social media platforms. We invite you to support Cake Therapy and the work we do with our foundation by clicking on the Buy Me a Coffee link in the description or by visiting the Cake Therapy website and making a donation. All your support will go towards the Cake Therapy Foundation and the work we are doing to help women and girls. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll catch you on the next episode.