Cake Therapy
Cake Therapy is a heartwarming and uplifting podcast that celebrates the transformative power of baking therapy. Hosted by Dr. Altreisha Foster, the passionate baker, entrepreneur and advocate behind Cake Therapy, this podcast is a delightful blend of inspiring stories, expert insights and practical baking tips. Each episode takes listeners on a journey of self-discovery, emotional healing and connection through the therapeutic art of baking.
Cake Therapy
You Are Enough: What We Wish We Told Our Younger Selves!!! Our Reunion Special
Four high school friends reunite to discuss the transformative power of female friendships spanning three decades, exploring vulnerability, support, and sisterhood in a world that often pits women against each other.
• Security and honesty form the foundation of non-competitive female friendships
• The "no new friends" philosophy reflects the deep work required to build authentic connections
• "Riding at dawn" means showing up for friends in whatever way they need, even when they don't ask
• Vulnerability within friendship requires trust and creates deeper bonds
• Many women struggle with accepting help while being quick to provide it
• High school insecurities often persist into adulthood behind masks of confidence
• The importance of telling your younger self "you are enough" despite external pressures
• True friendship provides both challenge and unconditional acceptance
We invite you to support Cake Therapy Foundation and the work we do with our foundation by clicking on the Buy Me a Coffee link in the description or by visiting the cake therapy website and making a donation. All your support will go towards the cake therapy foundation and the work we are doing to help women and girls.
Remember to subscribe wherever you get your podcast. Share the episodes and let's chat in the comments.
Support the Cake Therapy Foundation:
1. Cake Therapy - Cake Therapy (thecaketherapyfoundation.org)
2 Buy Me A Coffee : The Cake Therapy Foundation (buymeacoffee.com)
3. Buy The Book: Cake Therapy: How Baking Changed My Life https://a.co/d/76dZ5T0
Follow Sugarspoon Desserts on all social media platforms @sugarspoondesserts
Welcome to the Cake Therapy Podcast a slice of joy and healing, with your host, dr Altricia Foster. This is a heartwarming and uplifting space that celebrates the transformative power of baking therapy. The conversations will be a delightful blend of inspirational stories, expert insights and practical baking tips. Each episode will take listeners on a journey of self-discovery, emotional healing and connection through the therapeutic art of baking. There's something here for everyone, so lock in and let's get into it.
Speaker 2:Good evening everyone. Welcome back to the Cake Therapy Podcast, your slice of joy and healing. I want to welcome you all back to the show. This is one of my favorite shows to record since we started doing the Cake Therapy Podcast, and it's because I have some of my childhood friends joining us today. We are talking about cakes, but, most importantly, we're talking about connection.
Speaker 2:So this special roundtable conversation is going to be filled with unfiltered conversations between me and my three high school girlfriends. We've laughed together over the years and We've cried together Well, not with all of them, because you can't cry in front of some of them. We've grown apart and we'll definitely come back together. So I want to welcome the girls to the show. At the moment, we have Carla, nicole and Janine online. Hi, guys, hi. So, as we are getting ready for our 30 year high school reunion, I wanted to no, no, no, no, you are not. I wanted to connect with everyone. I wanted to connect with them to see where they are, what they're willing to share with you guys about our friendship, because it spanned over 30 years, and I wanted to see who's going to the reunion I'm joking.
Speaker 2:I already know who's going and in a world where we're so often women against each other or make us feel that we have to compete, I wanted to talk to you guys about the lack of competition among us over the last 30 years, how we've grown together and how we actually lean on each other for sisterhood. So today we're talking like real friends, real healing. It's just a conversation between sisters and sisterhood around mental health. So thank you, carla, janine and Nicole for joining us. Share with our listeners who you are, just briefly, because we know that someone will not talk enough who you are, what you do, et cetera. And a fun fact, a fun memory about me nicole, go first you know, me.
Speaker 2:You know me. No, say it was me first, so me, I'll go first. Hi guys, my name is nicole. I am not as old as altricia, so I knew her from in the womb. Yeah, I don't know. All right. So I am divorced. I have two girls and I'm a girl's girl. So I value my friendships and, coincidentally, most of my close female friendships are in excess of 20 years. That's like from a bond Mm-hmm, maybe, not what? Okay, so this came out. This is not a fun fact, but just to let you guys know, I'm the one that's going to be picked on and it's okay because they're safe with me. I provide the safe space so they know that I don't get offended when they take jobs and they know that when they tell all the lies that they want to tell on me, I'll still love them. So yeah, I'm that person. Disclaimers, disclaimers. Johnny, you're me. What I said.
Speaker 3:Hi, I'm Janine Miller. Trisha and I have been friends. How long now, lady? A long time, yeah, a long time. A memory with her. I remember she made me start taking the bus home because she used to tell me all these fun stories that she had with the guys and I'm like, wait a minute, I'm missing out. Anyhow, she was on first shift and I was on second shift, so she used to wait on me. Well, this one day she took not one bus, but two buses, and when we would ordinarily be either taking a taxi to go home or walking home because we can't get in a taxi, apparently she saw somebody who was not dressed to her liking, at which point she turned around and said that's just a story that we always laugh at. I'm like you.
Speaker 2:you did how many things before you realized I wasn't there, but that's because I'm the quiet one, right?
Speaker 4:don't believe us, not that quiet, carla so hi, so I'm carla, I am a mother of two and, come it up, I love sisterhood, I love friends, I love the friendship, I love to be there for my friends. And fun facts with Altria Fun facts I have with Altria are not fit for airplay, therefore I cannot share them. There are deep, dark secrets that cannot be told to the internet. So, unfortunately, I would love to share but I cannot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good, thank you, carla. You know like these girls knew me before I was Dr Anything before I had all these letters behind my name and I'm really excited to take a deep dive, to talk about messy female friendships, to find out from them. Why are we not messy? Why do you think so many people believe that female friendships are messy and fake? But why aren't we messy? I think mainly because we're all very secure. So my experience with females is that when you have females that are secure, like there's no need for the mess and I mean this is how I really try to raise my girls, because there's nothing I hate more than when a female sees a beautiful female and feels like she can't say oh my gosh, you are so beautiful and it takes a very secure female to do it. That's a man wonder about a dark secret. They will call a whole, but no further on.
Speaker 4:Yes, man, that's a one deep, dark night when we all are met. Yeah, I feel it, but I don't think I think that plays a part. But I think what really plays a part is that we're okay hearing things that we don't want to hear. It's like we're open to tough conversations and it's not so sensitive because we can talk about it and if we feel a way, the person will say I know you feel a way, but you're my friend and this is why I'm telling you so you can rationalize why that is happening, and so that helps because we're not as sensitive.
Speaker 4:I think maybe because we all grew in tough environments like we don't have time for sensitivity. So it's like tell me straight so I don't have to think about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:And that is appreciated.
Speaker 3:Just to piggyback a little bit about what Nicole said earlier in terms of she being a safe space for us. Really, that safe space is amongst all of us and so we know that, irrespective of what we say to the other person, we know it's coming from a good place, from a place of love. So we don't truly think that, oh, she's saying this because she's a bad mind or she's jealous. It's never that, and we're always trying to elevate each other right. We always cheer each other's successes. You know, when things go bad, we're there to try to help each other to dig yourself out of that rut and that dark place. But I think what I find to be most valuable is that I know that there is safety amongst us.
Speaker 2:Guys, you see how they sound very thoughtful, well-spoken and put together. One of my favorite things about them is like I can call them with the mess, and they will ride at dawn. They are willing to ride with the mess, okay. So tell me one thing, guys. Well, I have always thrived on this theory of no new friends. Like I have no new friends, maybe since my time at howard. What are your thoughts on that theory? New friends take a whole heap of work. No, new friends take a lot of work. So, like and when I say new, okay, I don't know, you guys can, can conquer I.
Speaker 2:I may not make friends the easiest, but when people are brave enough to want to be and and and hold it in my circle, it takes a lot of work. I think one of the things I value most about my friends and the length of time is that you know who I am over the years and you can all attest to it being very similar. But when you have new friends, especially as adults, and you're starting to learn the different personalities, it takes a lot of work, you know. So you see, if somebody is not willing to invest that amount of work in a relationship, sometimes friendships are more work than relationships, because, I'm telling you, women are.
Speaker 2:I have a friend and I say this to her all the time Listen, I can understand why men struggle with you, girl, because it takes a lot, but I love her, she's my friend. But learning is like teaching old dogs new tricks. So the people that are able to maintain their relationships, that's really something to be valued in, because I've also observed females who don't have any friends past three, four years and it's rough on them. It's rough on them, man, rough, rough, rough. Yeah, I don't do the new friend stuff at all because I just don't find it beneficial. I don't have the time to get to know someone and I think for me, I start questioning my new friends, to be completely honest, like, okay, why do you want to be friends with me? Because I'm not particularly friendly, I'm not nice, I'm like. So what is it about me that you know you want to be friends, so I new friendships are just hard for me.
Speaker 4:I'm completely opposite though you know Carla.
Speaker 2:You know Carla, you're bubbly take it away champagne. You know, carla, you bubbly, take it away bubbly Like champagne yes, janine, or a bottle of champagne, I know.
Speaker 4:It's true, though I have found that there has been people that come into my life later, but it's the quality of who they are.
Speaker 4:So I guess maybe for me, I kind of I'm very observant about a lot of things. I'm not going to push things, but I'm observant about you know what you do, how you do, where you do, where I see certain things, and then it might take a little time for you to get into my circle, so to speak, which is actually quite small, but what I do, I think every time I've been in different situations I've found people, I've found good friendships in other situations that I think are have quality. But then I guess it's because I am bubbly and'm bubbly and I just I'm always seeing good in people with something, so I don't necessarily question a lot. I take what I get and, um, but you know, once you cross that line into being somebody that I value, then you're held to a higher standard, yeah, but the other people that are not there, the standard is quite low for them, so it doesn't really matter but let me ask you, carla, how many times are you disappointed, though in like, because, trust me, the disappointment is real with the new friends.
Speaker 2:I can understand what Trish said about you know you're being weary because it's like you having a, a relationship that you're with from school days. You question that less because when it comes to you know you're wondering. From school days you question that less Because, when it comes to you know you're wondering okay, what are you coming at? Are you genuine? Are you just trying to piggyback off or something? What are you looking for? You know, and the disappointment sometimes is just why people just don't bother.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but I guess it's because I'm genuine with most things that I do, so for me it's like I'm genuine with most things that I do, so for me it's like I'm going to do what I want to do in that moment. I just kind of look at your reactions to how things are done, or how you treat other people, or what you say to me, or stuff like that, and that kind of tends to define how I try to, where I place you, you know, because, like, some people will never be a friend. They're just high and by After you've interacted with them for a little while. But some people might have a little promise. And then there's some people too, who are genuine and they come into your life and they're like yo, I'm going to leave. So we have to go deal with this. We have to go deal with it.
Speaker 3:You know, kyla, what she said. That's very true, because, much like mickey and trish, I I don't like people. However, here's what happened to me two years ago. There's this one lady who just kept talking to me and approaching me and I'm like, oh my gosh. She's like we're going to be friends. I'm like we are not going to be friends. I look very friendly. This is not my thing. I am OK with the few friends that I have. I am fine, yeah, and she wore me down. Fine, yeah, and she wore me down.
Speaker 3:But she always also said that is a front that you put up, because that's not who you are in terms of your heart, cause I can see your heart. Look at all of us with our hearts. Tala won't just out there, right? The others of us, ours isn't out there like that, like we keep ours close. So once someone, someone, comes in, it's like a huge deal. Carla's just like, oh yeah, here have it. Oh, you stepped on it, all right, bye. We're like, oh no, you're not getting this. And then, when you get it and you step on it, you are dead to us, like you no longer exist. We want nothing to do with you absolutely yeah, but I want to add oh sorry no, you're fine, go ahead there so you see, for me it's a process.
Speaker 4:You see, once you get into that space, you're valued. I'm going to work on our relationship. Once you get to that point, you're not gonna.
Speaker 4:If I decide that I'm going to choose you, you're chosen whether you decide to choose me or your problem, but you not get you like the force not really in our thing. Yeah, I forgot to stay in our house and live in our relationship. If you have, you know that's it. But if I decide that, hey, this is not worth my time, I'm done across that like there's no, maybe it's okay, that's a wrap, you don't exist anymore.
Speaker 2:I guess, because I'm so open, I have to close off myself if I realize I'm in a situation with that sort of where where I'm not truly valued yeah, so we're talking about the no new friends theory and upon introducing this question to the group, I spoke about them riding at dawn and I'm like, I'm serious about it, like they show up when you need them. But I want to pose to the group that we've all had our seasons like where we weren't our best selves, right, when we were broke and didn't tell each other grieving or going through hell. What does it really look like to show up for each other?
Speaker 3:Answering those calls at 2, 3 am Doing the things that ordinarily you don't want to do. But you do it because you're supporting that friend who is in need and, irrespective of what you might think at that time, you know it's what they need and it's also too like for me.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you have somebody that you know that they really want to do something and they're not being their true, authentic self and they're afraid to do it and you draw them out and care them, go do it, yeah, and there are times too like just being, as janine said, whatever this person needs at the moment, like if somebody they want to feel around, both with tears somebody woke me up it was draw them back, but I know what would happen. Like that is what it is. People tend to think that this, right at dawn, means a lot of people tend to tend to to feel like it thinks oh, like follow this, come first, now have them back, or all of these things. But it's other simple things, like carry them, come, jump up over me and we keep them for the weekend, or like you know, back to school time I come up and say okay, okay, you know, you don't even know the person is it.
Speaker 2:There are times when I've had female friends literally move to tears because, honestly, a lot of times people can take people for granted and it is not at all intentional. It's just like you're doing, you're doing, you're doing, you're doing. This is one of the reasons to back on the new friends, why I have to be very careful, because I really don't stop to check my receipts to see what I'm getting back. I'm just giving and giving, and giving, and giving and giving. Once you're my friend, I have no bounds as to you know what I will do for you. So I have to be very careful that I only allow people who are deserving, yeah, but I can tell you, from babysitting to cooking to balling, to anything, my friends know them can't call me. People don't like nobody calls me if they don't want a solution to the problem. But we're not still having another problem, we're moving past it and moving on, and I think that's what true friendship is.
Speaker 4:Yeah yeah, I agree. Um, I think it's just like right. I mean, being ready to ride is just being there to do what is needed in that particular moment. Sometimes it's just you put up on the phone and make them all yeah, sometimes it's to tell you you're amazing, didn't you know this? How could you not know this? When somebody needs it the most, you know and I think it's also just being knowing too when somebody needs something, when they don't know that they need it. There are people in this group who have looked at me and said you need, you need a break. And I'm just like, no, I'm good. And they're like, no, go take a break. And I'm just like, oh Jesus. And then I feel like Jesus, please them. Same people go take a break. You know, I'd rather take it, yeah, and I do something, and I'm just like, oh God, this was like I knew I needed this, but I didn't know I needed it, you know. So I think it's about that too, and also, of course, being ready to ride when it's time to ride.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, yeah, but let me ask you, like how vulnerable should you allow yourself to be in your friend's group? I've always like wondered that because me, you know'm super private, you know, I'm like like the private eye, I'm like the fort knox, but like how vulnerable should one be, you know, in their group?
Speaker 4:well, if you can't be vulnerable, you're in the wrong problem. Yeah, you're in iran group and I, I personally think, and I tell people all the time that I can't have a friend that I'm not all up in your business and all up in your grill, because for me, we should be able to share deep, dark everything and know that it's a safe space. So if you're not vulnerable, then it's not a safe space yeah.
Speaker 4:And so for me, there should be no holds back. You guys should not be, you shouldn't be at home not feeling well or going through something and I don't know. That's why I'm here, that's why you have somebody. And so for me, if you're not doing that, then it means you don't trust me enough to include me. So I take offense to those things. Don't tell me when you come out of hospital, so you did in a hospital. You're not my friend.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Because for me, it's important for me to be there for my friends. It's something that I pride myself on, it's what I enjoy doing. It's part of my love language being there, yeah, and so if you're going to deny me that opportunity to be there for you, we have a problem with it. We're going to talk.
Speaker 3:That's totally understandable, but I have been accused of not allowing friends to be there for me, and it's not because I don't trust Like. I know it's a safe space. I know I can be vulnerable, I know all of this, but for me it was. They have their own issues dealing with. They have so much on their plate, and so I don't want to put something else on there. But that was a reminder to me when this happened I don't know, maybe maybe a year ago or so. That though that may be true just as you said, because I would feel the same way too, that I am depriving them of doing something for me that they take really seriously, just as seriously as I would take it for them. So I would want to be there for them. I would be there for them and I would be offended had they done the same to me, be offended had they done the same to me. It was a reminder that, hey, you also need to make sure Don't think about all that they have going on. Just tell them Share, yeah.
Speaker 2:Fix your face a little bit Nikki, no me and the camera.
Speaker 4:The world will see that you are not.
Speaker 2:Anyways, back to what Janine was saying, that you are not. Um. Anyways, back to what janine was saying. Yeah, for a long time I struggled with being that friend. That could be helped. So I am there for everybody and I would just not allow people to be there for me and it's not really that I wouldn't allow them, it's just that I'm so focused on getting out of my ditch. I don't consider myself a proud person when I ditch with me. So if when I'm in a ditch I don't want to be proud, but I try to make, the ditch smaller.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not digging, I'm trying to see how I'm going to get out of it. A very lonely time for me, a very hard time for me, was when I was going through my divorce and I said nothing to my friends. I just went through the motions, did everything and I remember I was talking to Cheryl All the way no, hold on. And she said to me Nikki, you never said nothing. And I'm like never read a card to me and she said, no, but you never called, you never said nothing. And I'm like never read it apart to me. And she said, no, but you never called, you never said nothing. And I realized that I was unnecessarily alone because I had people who and I think even Carla said it to me after. I had people who would have chosen to be there for me, but they just think about me being there for other people.
Speaker 2:So, you really must have those friends who you can say hey, no girl, you don't have to do this by yourself, we can bear it out, yeah we're here to drag you out of it yeah, you know, like that was.
Speaker 2:That's like the perfect segue to my next question, nicole, because I wanted to ask you girls, like, what do you wish someone had done for you when you were going through one struggle? Not just someone, either of us or any of us. Carla, you have one. I don't know if you love chatting, or so that's why I may have waited, that's a tough one.
Speaker 2:What do I wish someone had said to me or done to me? All right, I wish and I don't even know if it's that someone didn't do it, but sometimes we don't really make ourselves seem like I wish someone had asked me if I was sure about what I was doing when I was getting married. Yeah, wow. And I also wished someone had asked me are you sure you want to let me make a living as a friend? Because I kid you not. You sure I've never asked you why, carla, you never said it loud enough. And don't get me wrong, I had my personal reasons. Most of them were related to family obligations and responsibilities. But oh, is that something that if my friends have? Oh, I'm in a perfect one.
Speaker 2:After I had my first child, I was older, so I went on the pill. No, I took the injection first, like the injection. So I went on the pill. Couldn't understand why I'm not eating weight and gain and why not eating food, gaining weight, why my friend come now and say to me say oh, no, you don't know. So the pill, make your head fat. Never remember to tell me. Send me to use a backup and ask me to take a pill.
Speaker 2:So I wish someone had said, girl, you have to have backup because you never know when your thing will go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no regret I when your thing I go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no regret I, love my. But somebody should have said, girl, yeah, and so the thing were you know, you know you know automatically once you stop it. Yeah, somebody should have said me that guess what? Here's my, my biggest regret with you guys. My biggest regret is going through like my struggles alone, in a sense that nobody knew anything about me, really like who I am Right, Until maybe like five years ago, and it's not like I didn't know that everybody would have been there for me. But my struggle was I wish I had removed the cloud of shame from from sharing my own personal story and journey with you guys. And boy, I really appreciate that you guys stood ten toes down until I was ready.
Speaker 3:That's what we're here for.
Speaker 2:That's it, that's our job. So I think I have evolved as a friend. I've evolved as a friend. I've evolved as a friend. I've become a much better friend in my friend group and, as we're coming up on knowing each other over three decades like seriously, guys, you sure you look good.
Speaker 4:You better shout it louder I will look good.
Speaker 2:They're not going to believe us. I just wanted to know how have our friendship evolved over time, especially as we've grown into different women? Me like the facts that, my friend, I'm not financially challenged. You're making something up, nicole. No, I'm coming up with something.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you something.
Speaker 2:No, let me explain something to you, and it is a different feeling when you go out with a group of friends and people are fighting to pick up the check, versus when you go out with a group of friends and people are fighting to pick up the check versus when you go.
Speaker 3:No, this is a real thing Because some of the girls, especially the ones that we love are the full buckles.
Speaker 2:When you go out with people who don't drink and they're the other shots drinks and the check will come and everybody will look at you because of you, they'd say and the check will come and everybody will look for you Because of you. They say Everybody will look for you, me love, when me go with my group of friends and everybody will reach for the check. Yes, but listen, when I talk with you guys, I'm not reaching for any check anymore because me can't afford it Really.
Speaker 3:I just don't really look alright, bro.
Speaker 2:Anyway, you know why it bothers me. It's not that I have a problem with picking up the check-in. You know why it bothers me. I've seen females who could give another female a little grace, not pass them nothing, and then don't have the grace to give the other female what they call a holler how much millions of dollars man robbed from them. That's a problem for me personally, because I think that as women and as friends, the least you can give a friend a little grace. Well, I'm giving you a heads up that I'm going to need grace for the rest of the next couple times that we're together. You see, anyway you have to make one, so I'm not going to spell it Beg them before they beg you.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying I need a little bit of grace. You got to get all the grace in the world the corned beef, the tin mackerel, the ketchup. What else grace make? Corned beef, yes, beef, yes, the sweet corn, what?
Speaker 4:else, grace make, grace make everything.
Speaker 3:Grace make all right, you can't get the only one, grace.
Speaker 2:Grace make everything. Now let's give a plug to Grace for making everything. Shout out to Grace, you can sponsor us, right? Sponsor this episode of the Cake Therapy Podcast.
Speaker 2:So girls like, honestly, we've been talking for a very long time, can you believe it? But before we close, let's imagine like we're talking to our younger selves. The girls in high school felt like they had well, not Nicole or Carla who had to shrink to accept, to be accepted but we're going to talk to you. Tell me a little bit about what would you tell yourself? You know the high school version of yourself. Continue being oblivious, nicole. It was not oblivious, no, no, high school.
Speaker 2:To be very honest, altisha, a lot of the things like I learned long after that. There were people that struggled in high school with relationships and like fitting in. I mean, we went to an awesome school, but I learned afterwards. Not everybody had the same experience, but I'm thankful for the fact that me was very oblivious, not stupid, but and I guess too, because maybe we never care much about other people. Let me rephrase it I didn't care much about offending people, yes, but I really was oblivious to like small little things that I've now seen that really impacted people, because, were I more aware, probably would I end in a more fighting high school.
Speaker 2:Because you can't diss my friend. Mm-mm, diss me and me big. Yeah, you can't diss my friend. There are some things that I learned afterward that some people went through that, thank God me was just very oblivious, but me younger self me just said look after your friend a little bit more. Yeah, look out for your friend a little bit more. Because I mean at the age I don't think that we were overly equipped to deal with some of the issues that I'm realizing people had now, but you could have paid more attention to your friend and it would have made a bigger difference to them. Maybe their experiences would have been different. Yeah, absolutely. How about you, karla?
Speaker 4:I think I would have told my younger self that I was enough, that I think I was very good at putting on a show, and I really wasn't confident at all. Yeah, the only thing I was confident in is, hey, I could play netball, but other than that it was. You know, I wasn't. I didn't think I was a part of it outside of, you know, like a Nicole who just latch on and some people and we just we click and we're going home together and I think I fed off some of that in order to be confident.
Speaker 4:But I don't think I was confident. I don't think I was truly as confident because I was feeding off energy, and that's a big part of me too. If I'm sick and people are around me, I feed off the energy. When you're gone, you feel like you're dead. I'm just like up and about. You know, no, I write up a campaign. But yeah, I really think that I think I would have told myself I was enough. I think I struggled with that up until I was probably at university, thinking that I just wasn't enough, but nobody would have known because I would not have shown it.
Speaker 2:You were more than enough for us. So we now see that, because you were always more than enough for us, you were always more and you know it, but when I was at home, I wouldn't feel that way, or once.
Speaker 4:I wasn't in that crowd, I wouldn't feel that way, and I just never felt like, hey, I was you know, when you see them come and they smile.
Speaker 2:that has always been Carla. Nobody can vex around you, Carla.
Speaker 4:That smile, truth be told, during that time, that smile was A mask. A mask, I mean, it was who I wanted to be, but it wasn't who I was.
Speaker 3:Draco, tell me what you'd say to your younger self Pretty similar to Carla, that I am enough just as I am, and don't listen to the noise of things that persons are saying about you, because those are persons who don't know you and I was okay with the few friends that I had, because you all knew me for who I was. Yeah, I was quiet. You all knew me. Mm-hmm, the power of God adored me.
Speaker 4:You know I'm not taking that because I'm a gaga man.
Speaker 3:I know the fallacy.
Speaker 4:She's the only person who gave me a nickname in my high school.
Speaker 2:I'm so quiet Fallacy. You know what I would say to my younger self? It's the same thing. That I was enough I have met my people, I would tell myself that real friends wouldn't compete and then it's okay to to let down your guard Sometimes. I found that I didn't do that enough and I wish I had, because, imagine, like, we have this meaning, this very meaningful friendship that I treasure for a lifetime, and I'm hoping that none of you leave this earth before I do, because I just could not. I just can't imagine a loss such as that. How much greater would it have been if I'd let down my guard sooner. But I'm happy that we've gotten here. I'm happy that we're here. I've had an amazing conversation with you guys. I want to thank you all for showing up, for always showing up for me, not just here on this podcast. You know I had to wait 45 minutes for some of you to get on. Me too, me too. You know me, love me, love the facts on and love me regardless.
Speaker 3:Of course we love you and we waited, we gave you grace to get it together.
Speaker 2:I appreciate it and I appreciate you. Yeah, so to our King Therapy listeners, I hope that this gave you something to hold on to. Whether you've gotten your tribe already or if you're still building it, know that this is what you truly deserve. You deserve this kind of love, you deserve this kind of community and you deserve friends who make you feel safe and you actually deserve to be seen. And before we go, let's take a breath, inhale the power of connection, exhale the weight of comparison, inhale room for softness and then exhale the myth that we no longer carry. Real friendship is healing work and it's available to all of us, just put in the time. I want to thank Nicole, carla and Janine for joining me on this episode of the Cake Therapy Podcast, and our high school reunion is next week and I look forward to seeing all three of them there. All four of us will be there celebrating our 30-year high school reunion.
Speaker 3:Thank you guys for joining the Cake Therapy Podcast. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Bye guys, don't hang up but say bye guys, I'll cut out the video. Bye, bye and thank you guys for coming. And thank you, we didn't have a choice.
Speaker 4:Yeah, boy.
Speaker 1:Thank you for tuning in to the Cake Therapy Podcast. Your support means the world to us. Let us know what you thought about today's episode in the comments section. Remember to subscribe wherever you get your podcast and if you found the conversation helpful, please share it with a friend. Also, follow Sugar Spoon Desserts on all social media platforms. We invite you to support Cake Therapy and the work we do with our foundation by clicking on the Buy Me a Coffee link in the description or by visiting the cake therapy website and making a donation. All your support will go towards the cake therapy foundation and the work we are doing to help women and girls. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll catch you on the next episode.