The Power Up Podcast

5. Finally Break the Cycle of People Pleasing and Please Yourself

Martin Coburn Season 1 Episode 5

Today we have a topic that is near and dear to many of our hearts – and that is people-pleasing.  We all want to be liked and accepted, but what happens when the need to please others becomes overwhelming?  

 

Over time, excessive people-pleasing can lead to exhaustion, burnout, and, more importantly, a loss of personal identity. But what is it? where does it come from, and what can we do about it? 


In this episode, we will explore what people-pleasing really means. We'll discuss the root causes and motivations behind it, how it can impact our personal and professional lives and importantly, how to break free of the need to people please. And start prioritise and being yourself.

In this episode we explore topics such as:

  • What people pleasing behaviour looks like and how it shows up
  • How the need to people please starts and manifests itself through different stages of our lives
  • The impact of people pleasing on our personal and professional lives
  • The links between people pleasing and acute anxiety
  • The role of the ego in people pleasing
  • How to minimise people pleasing and please yourself more of the time
  • How to get the same great results, feeling better about yourself, with better self esteem, better self image, and feeling more confident.

 

“The need for acceptance and belonging, starts from, from when you're very young. The challenge is that someone who wishes to please a parent or a caregiver as a child, becomes a people pleaser in, in adult life because they have developed a pattern for doing things that others give them recognition for, or that pacifies somebody or gives them the safety and the acceptance that they're looking for.”

 

“You've learned over a period of time to receive love by doing things in a certain way…. And all you've done is you've taken that child hood strategy, and you're applying it at work, with your partner, with your friends, and it goes on.

 

“It's a crazy strategy to rely on external stimulus to make you feel good because they might not always be there.”

 

“Where the motivation is coming from? Am I trying to please someone? Am I doing this because I'm trying to pacify someone?”

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Disclaimer:

The content shared on this podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only. We are not licensed therapists, psychologists, or medical professionals. The advice and strategies discussed here should not replace personalised guidance from qualified professionals when needed. 

Some content may be of a sensitive or triggering nature. Listener discretion is advised. If you find any content distressing, please skip, or seek support from a qualified professional.

 


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