36. The Illusion of Instant Gratification: Finding Lasting Well-Being from Within

Struggling with dieting and weight loss? In this episode of "Weight Loss Made Simple," we explore the deceptive allure of instant gratification and how it impacts your journey to well-being. Discover the difference between temporary pleasures and lasting internal satisfaction, and learn how mindful planning and self-awareness can help you achieve your long-term health goals. Tune in to understand why quick fixes often lead to setbacks and how to cultivate true happiness from within.

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This episode was produced by The Podcast Teacher.

Transcript

Hey everyone, welcome back to the podcast. Thank you for tuning in today. I want to talk to you today about quick fixes, the gratification, and I wanna talk about the difference between sort of the pleasure of instant gratification versus the internal feeling of well-being or wellness. So stick with me cause it might be a little confusing at first, but I’m gonna try and explain it and wrap it all up.

So let’s start. Well-being is a state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy. OK, it is internal. It’s an intrinsic feeling. It carries no negative consequence. So we are feeling contentment, joy, pride when we’ve accomplished something. This is a feeling of well-being. This is internal gratification versus instant gratification, which comes more from like a false pleasure. So it’s something we get externally, a feeling of satisfaction or enjoyment from an event or an activity that we derive enjoyment from. So it doesn’t really occur naturally; it is something we have to get externally, so it’s not intrinsic. It’s external. Importantly, there are negative consequences to it. We have a natural pleasure or well-being that comes from the inside, comes from within us intrinsically with no negative consequence. Then we have sort of our instant gratification, usually a false pleasure, meaning it is external, it’s created. It gives us temporary joy with some negative consequence. So I wanna position those apart so that we can talk about it a little bit more.

If you start thinking about things that you like to do, we can start categorizing that, right? So if I want to get to my healthy weight and have a lot of energy, feel good in my clothes, right? All of those long-term goals are internal well-being, satisfaction, gratification, healthy, like that’s all from inside. So my long-term goal is usually focused on well-being. My short-term instant gratification looks at the doughnut, brownie, and forgets all about that internal well-being that I’m striving for. The brownie is an external reward. That external, there’s a negative consequence to it. I eat the brownie, I usually feel guilty if I didn’t plan for it. Then I’ve got some negative self-talk that starts to spiral, and any pleasure I got from the brownie is probably 15 units, but then I’ve got some negative consequences.

So I eat the brownie, I feel good for a minute, but then I feel bad—negative. That helps me know that it’s not my well-being; it’s more immediate pleasure. When we stop giving into every instant gratification temptation that comes our way, things can feel not as great. This is due to a dopamine re-regulation that needs to happen. Dopamine is one of our feel-good chemicals. A lot of us that have struggled with weight have a dopamine dysregulation, meaning we get way too much dopamine from food, we get way too much dopamine from alcohol. We get too much dopamine from these external pleasures. Instant gratification feels really good, but the feeling that lasts longer is more permanent but does not have the spike of the instant gratification. That brownie is gonna spike it, it’s gonna feel really good, but I’m gonna crash and have a negative rebound.

My intrinsic well-being, my pride, is not gonna spike my dopamine, but it’s not gonna falter either. The pride of becoming a doctor, for instance, doesn’t have a negative rebound effect from that pride that I feel from within. Another way to differentiate is that the brownie might feel better temporarily, but because of the negative rebound, it’s not gonna feel as good and it’s gonna be very fleeting. Pride, well-being, that internal wellness—that’s really where most of our long-term goals are trying to pull us to.

Last week, we talked about the concept of 50-50. We’re not supposed to be happy all the time, but I think when people say they wanna be happy all the time, they’re talking about an internal sense of well-being. It’s not happiness; it’s a well-being. It’s a pride, it’s a healthiness, it’s a contentment. It feels like a warm glow internally. That, I think, is what people are talking about when they’re like, "I just wanna be happy." They wanna have this feeling of well-being, this feeling of satisfaction.

When I have a strong sense of well-being internally, I can handle those negative emotions so much better. I also have to stop some of the instant gratification so that I can truly appreciate what that feeling is, right? If I’m having these huge spikes up and down in dopamine, and then I’ve got like this little light in the tunnel that’s my well-being, it’s hard to find when I’m having these huge spikes. It doesn’t feel like much.

There have been lots of studies, right? People want the dollar now; they don’t wanna wait for the five dollars tomorrow. Our brains like instant gratification, but I promise you the most successful people, those who reach their goals, recognize that we can’t give in to it all the time. Sacrificing instant gratification, we get our long-term goal and that gives us internal well-being. Pleasure is temporary; well-being is permanent. When we are only focusing on external factors to make us happy, we are always going to be in want; we’re always gonna be in lack. It means we’re looking for someone to entertain us all the time, looking for the next quick pleasure. If we are focused on our well-being, we are sort of setting the building blocks to get to this point where we feel an internal wellness, satisfaction, pride, whatever you wanna call it, whatever that feeling is for you, contentment.

So I wanted to bring this up today. I think our brains inherently will discount the feeling of well-being that comes from reaching our goal because the dopamine from the false pleasure, the instant gratification, momentarily feels better. If you could completely objectively look at them and write them on a scale of which one really makes you feel better, I promise you it’s the long-term goal. It’s the pride, it’s the satisfaction, it’s the contentment because no one can take that from you. Internal well-being is better.

Our brain is like, "Oh, I don’t want what I want now." When we’re not in the moment, we need to think about what we want up and down. The dopamine means I want the instant gratification. Do I wanna always be searching externally for something to make me feel good, or do I wanna reach my goal? Do I wanna get to the end? Do I wanna have an internal sense of well-being that I cultivate myself that no one can take away from me? I think most people want the second one.

We have to plan for obstacles. We have to plan for our brain to short-circuit when it sees a brownie and have a plan so we’re not always giving in to the temptation of immediate gratification. Every time we say no, every time we remind ourselves, "No, long-term is more important," it gets easier every time to say no to the instant gratification. It gets easier to say no to the brownie every time. Saying no to the pleasure of immediate gratification is like any other muscle in our body. The more we use it, the stronger it gets, the easier it is.

Sometimes people have a hard time thinking of what something I can do that’s not immediate gratification. If I wanna relax, if I wanna do something fun, if I want a little bit of dopamine, what can I do that’s not eating or drinking?

There’s this grid that I found online. Look, you can get some ideas, but there are six realms, right? There’s physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, social, and sensory. So, physical things like I can go for a walk, I can do some yoga, I can go for a bike ride, I can go to the spa, I can stretch. None of those are asking someone else to entertain me. I can be creative; I can use the other side of my brain, the right side. I can just come up with some thoughts, some old beliefs.

Spiritual: church, spending some time in nature, decluttering, taking some time by ourselves. When was the last time you went out and looked at the stars at night? Or were you so sucked into the immediate gratification of TV with a glass of wine? Look at the stars.

Intellectual: we can read a book, listen to a podcast, even if it’s not mine. Play a game, watch a documentary, learn something new.

Social: call a friend, call somebody you want to walk outside with, and call—double doozy right there.

Sensory: light a candle, drink some tea, take a nap. Actually, some research came out about taking naps and how we should all be doing it. We’ll have to talk about that another time.

We can see, it’s totally an inside job. We do not need anyone else to do this for us, and we don’t need anything to do this for us. We can get to well-being.

External: what’s external? What am I reaching for? What am I doing for immediate gratification that I want to do right now to feel good right now? Is it in line with my long-term goals? Is it in line with me trying to cultivate a sense of wellness?

Alright, I wish you well this week. I hope this has been a little bit helpful. Please send it to a friend if you think it would be helpful for them, and I will talk to you next week. Bye.