133. The Women Who “Have It Together” Don’t Do It Alone

Do you feel like you should be able to do weight loss on your own—but keep burning out instead?

In this episode of Weight Loss Made Simple, Dr. Stacy Heimburger breaks down why high-functioning women struggle with consistency—not because of a lack of discipline, but because of a lack of support.

You’ll learn how isolation impacts your habits, why trying to “do it all” leads to burnout, and how community plays a critical role in sustainable weight loss, mindful eating, and long-term success.

If you’re tired of starting over and ready to build habits that actually stick, this episode will help you shift from doing it alone to getting the support you need.

👉 Ready for support that actually works? Join the membership:
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This episode was produced by The Podcast Teacher: www.ThePodcastTeacher.com.

Transcript

Hey everybody, welcome back to the podcast. This month we're talking all about self care and keeping it together. And what I want you to think about is that women who look like they have it all together do not do it alone. So I want you to believe me when I say that. And I want you to sit with that for a second because I think we've all had these moments where we look at someone and we think,

she's just disciplined, she's just super consistent, she's just better at this than I am. And this very like compare and despair and just thinking she's got it figured out. She must be so strong, she must be so wonderful, whatever. But what you're not seeing is all the support that that person has. Okay, the conversations, the accountability, the team, the people holding space for her when things get hard.

And if you've been trying to do anything completely on your own, your habits, your weight, your consistency, any of those things, then I want you to really listen because being super successful does not happen in a vacuum. We do not do those things on our own. Isolation does not build greatness. It does not build results. I mean, it does build results, not the ones we want, but isolation does not build success. Isolation does not get you where you're trying to go. It just fuels burnout. That's it. That's all it does.

So I'm going to tell you a story. There was a time in my life where I was really holding a lot. Just work felt like a lot. My old job, like things weren't going that great. I had some orthopedic issues. I was just having pain a lot. The kids were much younger. So they needed a lot more. From the outside, looked fine though, right? I was functioning. I was getting things done. I was losing weight. I looked healthy. But underneath that was this slow building of just complete overwhelm and burnout.

And nothing dramatic happened. There was not one thing I could point to and be like that was the problem or this was the turning point. It was just a constant build. And I'll be the first one to tell you, I am not very good at asking for help. I'm even less good about recognizing when I need a break until it's kind of mission critical.

My little one's actually like this. He's like mission critical breakdown. Everything is great until it's not. And I think he must get that from me a little bit. So I wasn't really good at recognizing the signs that I was just totally burning out. I just thought like, it just feels like a lot right now. It's just a busy season. I'll get there. I'll catch up. But I wasn't catching up. It was just getting worse. And I was just carrying more.

And then all of a sudden he called me and he was like, hey, you're going to go stay with your friends on the South Shore tonight. I was like, excuse me. He was like, you need a break. I've already called them. You're going. And you guys are going to have a little night off, go have a little retreat.

And I was so shocked that he was so good at recognizing it before I did.

And honestly, he planned it so quickly. I think that day I was really getting frazzled. But he had already planned it. It was already done. All I had to do was go.

And it sort of became the start of this routine where every couple of months we will go have like a sleepover, girls night, where we can just get the support and let things go.

And so I tell you this story because it's not just about how great he is. It's that he was better at recognizing my burnout than I was.

And I think it's easier for us to see it in other people.

I can see it in my clients before they see it in themselves. He can see it in me before I see it in myself. We just see it in other people when things start to feel like too much.

And I want you to hear this:

Sometimes the people around you see what you need before you do.

It’s not that you're not aware. It’s that you're on the inside of your life. You're in it.

And when you're in it, especially when you're getting close to overwhelm and burnout, you're just trying to get things done.

You don’t have the space to step back and assess it.

So very often the people around you will see what you need before you do.

High-functioning women normalize overload all the time.

You are capable, so you take on more.

You handle more.
You juggle more.
You push through more.

And over time, that becomes your normal.

Even when it’s too much.

Even when you’re tired.

Even when your habits start slipping.

You don’t think, this is unsustainable.

You think, I need to get it together.

Control does not equal strength.

If you’ve ever had the thought:

“I’m the only one who can do this”

or

“It’ll just be easier if I do it myself”

That’s not strength.

That’s control.

And control feels safe.

It feels predictable.

But control also isolates you.

And isolation makes everything heavier.

Community regulates your nervous system.

When you are seen, supported, and known, your body shifts.

You are less reactive.
You think more clearly.
You show up more consistently.

Not because you’re trying harder…

But because you’re less overwhelmed.

So here’s your reframe:

You don’t need more discipline.

You need more support.

If your habits are slipping because you have too much on your plate…

The answer is not to push harder.

It’s to adjust the load.

So what do you do?

Start by noticing when your default is:

“I’ll just handle it.”

Then get curious:

Where am I unsupported?

Then let someone in.

One conversation.

One honest moment.

That’s how this starts.

Find your people.

Whether that’s your friends, your spouse, or a structured community.

But don’t try to do this alone.

Letting people in does not make you weaker.

Isolation is not strength.

You were never meant to carry everything by yourself.