142. The Secret of Women Who Actually Enjoy Summer

Who really enjoys summer?

It's probably not the woman with the perfect body, the cleanest diet, or the most organized planner.

In this episode, Dr. Stacy explores a different possibility: maybe the women who enjoy summer the most are simply the ones who participate in it.

If you're the family planner, vacation coordinator, camp organizer, snack manager, and logistics department all rolled into one, this episode is for you.

You'll learn why capable women often slip into the role of managing everyone else's experiences—and how that can quietly keep you from experiencing your own.

You'll also hear several reflective questions designed to help you create a more meaningful summer without chasing perfection.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why capable women often become the family "operations team"
• The hidden cost of always being the planner
• Why usefulness and presence are different
• Four questions that can reshape the rest of your summer
• One simple action to help you create memories you'll actually experience

If you're looking for a summer that feels meaningful—not just productive—this episode is for you.

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This episode was produced by The Podcast Teacher: www.ThePodcastTeacher.com.

Transcript

Hey everybody, welcome back to the podcast. I'm Dr. Stacy Heimburger, and this is Weight Loss Made Simple.

I want to talk to you today about women who really seem to enjoy summer.

Not necessarily the woman with the perfect body or the cleanest diet or the most organized schedule, but someone who really seems to be enjoying herself. She's laughing, she looks fully present, and she looks like she's living her life instead of managing it.

I've been thinking about this a lot because life is moving fast. As my boys get older, it's heartbreaking to realize that I've probably already spent more summers with them than I'm going to spend with them moving forward.

Now, I hope that's not true, but there's a chance it is.

I'm becoming more aware of how quickly summer is going—and how much time I spend managing everyone else enjoying summer instead of making sure I'm enjoying it too.

So today I want to talk about what that woman who really enjoys summer might be doing differently.

I think the secret is participation.

What really brought this up is getting ready to take the boys to summer camp.

There are so many logistics.

Are we driving?

Are we flying?

Which airport?

If we're flying, that's round-trip tickets for all four of us, then round-trip tickets again for my husband and me because we'll come back home to work while they're at camp.

One day I'd love for us to stay in North Carolina and enjoy a vacation ourselves, but we're just not there yet.

Then there's the camp packing list.

Do they have everything they need?

Do they have enough clothes?

Did I order the shower caddy?

Did I get the soap?

Do they have everything they need to take care of themselves while they're away?

Then there are the giant rolling duffel bags.

Getting their names on everything.

There's just a lot to manage.

And it made me wonder...

Am I actually going to enjoy this experience?

Am I going to be fully present while we're dropping them off and making this memory together?

Or am I going to be completely wrapped up in logistics?

Because I see this all the time.

We become the operations team for the family.

We're responsible for everyone else's experience.

We become the cruise director.

The vacation planner.

The memory manager.

The snack coordinator.

Dear Lord...the snacks when we travel.

We become the family logistics department.

And this isn't criticism.

This isn't about whether someone else should be helping more.

Most of us do it because we're responsible.

We're capable.

We're good at it.

We know how to make things happen.

But there's a hidden cost that I don't think we talk about enough.

When you're busy managing everyone else's experience, it's very easy to stop having your own.

When we're planning camps...

Sports...

Fireworks...

Pool parties...

Vacations...

It's very easy to slowly disconnect from actually participating because we're so focused on making sure everyone else is having fun.

I've started asking women something interesting.

Most women can tell me exactly what their kids want this summer.

They know what their spouse wants.

They know what their guests want.

They know what their friends want.

But when I ask...

"What do you want this summer?"

Many women don't really know.

Not because they don't care.

It's because nobody has asked them.

And if nobody asks, it's easy to forget that you get a vote too.

So if nothing else comes from today's episode, I want you to ask yourself:

What do I want this summer?

Then make room for it.

Here are a few questions I'd love for you to think about.

What would make this summer truly meaningful for me?

What do I want to remember?

What would I regret not doing?

And...

What am I waiting for?

For me, one of the things I really want is for my boys to have a more traditional summer.

I've imagined Friday afternoons at the pool.

Friends there.

Everyone laughing.

Staying for dinner.

Just enjoying being together.

We've only managed to do it once so far.

But that's the memory I want.

That's what I hope they remember.

So that's my answer.

Now I want you to find yours.

I think this is especially common for high-achieving women.

When you're capable...

When you're organized...

When you're dependable...

You get rewarded for being useful.

People appreciate useful people.

People depend on useful people.

People trust useful people.

And after enough years, usefulness becomes part of your identity.

But usefulness and presence are not the same thing.

That's the distinction I want us to make today.

You can be incredibly useful...

And barely present.

You can host the party and never really experience it.

You can organize the vacation without enjoying it.

You can take every picture...

And somehow not really be in the memory.

I see you.

I understand why it happens.

It feels good to be responsible.

It feels good to be needed.

But usefulness is different from presence.

Think about being at the pool.

Everyone else is swimming.

You're carrying towels.

Putting sunscreen on everyone.

Watching the bags.

Answering texts.

Making sure everyone drinks water.

Looking for goggles.

Taking pictures.

You're physically there.

But are you really there?

Or think about vacation.

Everyone else is playing.

You're already thinking about tomorrow.

Dinner reservations.

Laundry.

Checkout.

Groceries.

Travel plans.

All the logistics.

Then suddenly summer is over.

And you realize...

You witnessed it.

But you didn't fully experience it.

Some women spend all summer creating memories.

They just forget to be in them.

Here's a simple exercise.

Imagine Labor Day is here.

Summer is over.

You look back.

What would make you say...

"That was a really good summer."

Notice what your brain probably isn't saying.

It probably isn't saying...

"I never missed a workout."

"I tracked everything perfectly."

"I followed every plan."

Instead it's probably saying...

We laughed.

We traveled.

We connected.

I spent time with people I love.

I was present.

I did things that mattered.

Participation matters more than perfection.

Now, you all know I love planning.

This is where I have to thread the needle.

The reason I like planning is because good planning often allows me to be more present later.

Right now, when I'm recording this, camp is still several weeks away.

My goal is to have every travel arrangement made.

Everything ordered.

Everything ready well before we leave.

Not because I want to obsess over it...

But because I don't want to spend the week before camp in emergency mode.

If I wait until the last minute...

I'm scrambling.

I'm hoping Amazon delivers.

I'm stressed.

Instead of enjoying those last few days with my boys before camp, I'd be running around checking boxes.

Planning ahead creates space for presence.

That's very different from constantly living inside logistics.

So I'm not asking you to redesign your entire summer.

I'm not asking you to overhaul your schedule.

I'm asking you to choose one thing.

One experience.

One memory.

One activity.

One thing you've been postponing.

Stop postponing it.

Maybe it's kayaking.

Maybe it's sitting by the water.

Maybe it's inviting friends over.

Maybe it's learning something new.

Whatever it is...

Join in instead of watching.

Participate.

Inside Lifestyle Support Monthly, we're having our Summer School: Hot Habits challenge.

It's been such a fun month.

We're talking about creating a meaningful summer—not just a productive one.

If you'd like to join us, I'll put the link in the show notes.

I want to leave you with this.

Life is happening even while we're planning it.

Some women spend all their time creating memories.

Some women spend all their time planning for everyone else to create memories.

I don't want this summer to disappear and leave us wondering where it went.

I want this season to be meaningful.

So before another summer slips away...

Choose one memory.

One experience.

One moment.

And fully participate.

I'll see you next week.