Mindful Moves

Slowing Down: Why It Feels So Uncomfortable and How to Do It Safely (in 4 Simple Ways)

• Daniela Jentsch • Season 3 • Episode 5

Share episode

Slowing down sounds like the answer, but for many people it feels uncomfortable, restless, or even unsafe. That does not mean something is wrong with you. It often means your nervous system learned safety through doing, producing, or staying busy.

In this episode, I explore why slowing down can feel so challenging, how worth becomes tied to productivity, and why rest often brings up more discomfort before it brings relief.

I also share four practical ways to slow down safely, without forcing stillness or adding pressure. These approaches help your nervous system experience calm gradually and realistically, especially if rest has never felt easy for you.

This episode is an invitation to rethink what slowing down actually means and to find a pace that supports your body rather than works against it.

🌿

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticDans



Speaker:

go ahead and close your eyes if you can relaxing your forehead unclench your jaw and relax your shoulders away from your ears we're gonna take a nice deep inhale together through the nose filling your lungs filling your diaphragm and exhale out your mouth letting go we're gonna take another deep breath in in through your nose filling up your diaphragm really filling up your lungs this time and at the top holding for a moment before they exhale and exhale out the mouth letting go if your eyes were closed go ahead and open them up welcome to Mindful Moves with me your host Daniela Jentsch I am very excited to speak about today's topic I think that with festive season I think that with people in family settings more and having a lot more on their plates than usual I would say this is a fitting theme and today we're gonna speak about slowing down and why that can feel so deeply uncomfortable and especially in our I mean I'm someone you've probably heard this in the podcast I focus on nervous system regulation I want your system to slow down I want you to feel that calm I want you to feel rest relaxation however there's something that people don't speak about which is the feelings that can come up when you try to rest the guilt and the shame when you can't the association of being busy and producing with your value and so that's what we're gonna focus on a little bit today because I think that a lot of us were taught or not even directly taught to us but maybe we are but maybe we observed in our immediate circles whether it was our caretakers or our friends or our family or our friends families or whatever it may be you start absorbing things a lot from a young age and so often we see so much value associated with success and success often looks like being very busy being very productive utilising your time as efficiently as possible and so a lot of us grew up with the sense of thinking that I had to perform and do to be valuable but this episode is also just gonna remind you that you will never feel that sense of value through doing it's just not how it works we are intrinsically valuable humans and of worth just by existing and just being and you don't need to do more I know that people so often will think you know we're put onto this earth we need to achieve certain things to feel happy and accomplished inside but that's just not the case and the sooner you learn that the sooner you're actually gonna enjoy the journey that you're on instead of just trying to focus on what you're trying to achieve right it doesn't have to only be big things it can look like constantly you know being busy in the in the home maybe you're constantly busy and always giving your time to every single person except for yourself and that's why slowing down you know it's a very common it's not just my advice a lot of people will be like prioritize your rest get your rest in relax a little bit and for someone who feels guilt and shame for doing that it feels almost impossible and that's why I wanna give you the tools I'm gonna speak about four steps that you can help bridge that gap for you and we're gonna dive right in because I think you know exactly what I'm speaking about you know that feeling if you have this in your life you'll know what I'm talking about that guilt and that shame that you're not being the best possible version of yourself which is what you've created in your head and that's the story you're telling yourself and therefore your body will feel like that so how are we gonna combat that No. 1 I want you to slow down now I know that you're gonna think you know you just said that I can't do that and it makes me feel uncomfortable so how do you expect me to do that well you are gonna be slowing down in the sense that we don't wanna jump the gap we don't wanna go from someone who is constantly busy and in motion to someone who meditates three hours a day because that's just not possible and so often in your life you've set these high standards and goals and achievements and when you don't get close or even when you do get close it's still not good enough so don't do this again our method is gonna be slowing down your actions so you're not gonna try and take out what you're doing you're gonna continue living your life you're gonna continue doing what you do if that means you wake up in the morning and from the morning until the evening you are constantly busy doing something that's all good and well what we're gonna focus on is slowing those moments down can you when you're cleaning slow it down when you're walking somewhere from your car into the shop to go grocery shopping can you slow down your walk can you take a breath while you're doing it can you speak slower can you in an environment where everyone's talking it is busy it's holiday time when your whole family is you know sometimes it's very overstimulating there's a lot of people talking at once can you pause where you're sitting and take a breath and just listen these small micro moments are going to teach your system that you don't always have to be on you can also just take even if it's 30 seconds of just being there just existing and what that's gonna show you is immediately signalling to your body hey nervous system slowing this down there's no high speed chase right now we are safe we are good and that's the most simple tip I can give you is just to slow down your regular actions you don't need to stop doing anything because I find that it's very difficult to tell someone oh you need to stop your whole everything that you've done your whole life and then become this other human it's very difficult we wanna close that gap and this leads me to point number two step 2 is going to be simply carving out a moment of the day that has no associated outcome and what I mean by that is often we get told you need to you know rest maybe you need to learn how to take a nap or stop cleaning this and sit on the couch and relax but sometimes that can feel like pressure as well that's where the guilt and the shame comes from and how you can overcome this and how best to settle into this is by taking any association out of it you are not gonna go and sit and be off your phone and completely relaxed and stress free as an outcome because even thinking about that when you think to yourself okay I need to do something so that I get the outcome of being less stressed of being more calm of relaxing that's again pressure which is what we don't want we wanna avoid that so can you carve out intentional time mindful time of it can be five minutes it can be 10 maybe you just stand outside and you just look into nature maybe you sit with your cup of tea and you don't have your phone with you and don't predict the outcome it might make you feel uncomfortable but then you just accept whatever comes up if you are going to tell yourself if I go with my cup of tea and I sit and I don't have my phone I'm gonna feel so calm that's already putting an association of the outcome do something where you open your mind to whatever comes up allow yourself to have anything come up whatever it may be maybe there's nothingness maybe you're completely bored maybe it's hard to sit outside for five minutes and you feel a bit irritated that's okay don't judge it sit with it sit with whatever it is maybe you just have no thoughts maybe you have no feelings great you are basically increasing the bandwidth of your nervous system you're teaching it through these tiny moments that it's safe and whatever comes up for your body is safe it doesn't there's no pre judgement on what comes up because if you go into this and you think to yourself oh OK I'm gonna be stress free and then you become agitated you get agitated that you're agitated and that's just not what we're looking for we're looking for ways to retrain through these tiny moments and explain through action that we are safe to our nervous systems cause we talk to each other right and that's step No. 2 now step No. 3 ties perfectly into these other two right and it's called the buffer zone when you are trying to go from let's say doom scrolling for 3 hours and let's be honest if any one of you has done that I'm sure we all have you feel at the end of that scroll you feel very up you feel hyped up you don't feel a sense of calm you feel there's a lot going on that's how I feel I think it's normal and it's it's just how the brain works and so when you say to yourself OK it's been three hours of doom scrolling I've been wanting to read my book all day actually it's a goal of mine I wanna read my book it makes me actually feel relaxed and you try and go from doom scrolling to reading your book immediately how do you think that that's gonna pan out if you've ever been driving in a car and it's been going at 130 km per hour you can't decide in that very moment okay I'm going from 130 km down to 0 and I'm gonna be parked in a parking lot you can't do that how do you get from a high mileage down slow and into a parking if you're driving a manual car you gear down you take it one step at a time you are going to slow down enough fourth gear third gear second gear you're gonna look for parking and you're gonna find the parking and you're gonna park and this is what's so important with this is that what you're doing is creating a buffer so if you've been doom scrolling for three hours what could you put as a buffer before you might read later because there's no rush this is what we're trying to teach our system is that we're not gonna jump into things out of guilt and shame oh I've been doom scrolling I need to read my book we're not gonna do that we're not we simply not so what buffer could you create could you perhaps put on your earphones and listen to some music while you gently and slowly tidy up the house or fold laundry or simply listen to music and close your eyes on the couch if you can or you sit in frog's pose and you stretch out your hips because they've been a bit tight whatever you can do as a buffer go on a 10 minute walk it doesn't have to be a long thing it could really be 30 seconds you could listen to your favourite song half of your favourite song if you choose if you can't do the full one and then your body is going to learn okay we're not at 120 km right now we've slowed down a lot I'm in the space now to read because a lot of the time we are trying to jump from one extreme to another because it is an extreme extreme difference to go from dooms scrolling to reading it's huge on your system and is so often we are associating guilt and shame with that as well it's just naturally what comes up so create a buffer that's No. 3 it's huge it's been a game changer for me because I don't try to jump these steps because I learn that I very much am like a car I need to gear down I need to slow down before I can come to a halt and do something at you know there's always gonna be different little layers and so buffer that's what you need to do No. 4 and this is something that I feel very passionately about is work with your subconscious brain the subconscious part of your brain is like a sponge it has been a sponge your entire life that is why you have certain beliefs that's why you have certain you know thoughts and feelings it's because we have absorbed our entire lives whether it's a caretaker someone we look up to role models anything friends family you have soaked it all in and so it wasn't a conscious effort it was soaked in because that's how your subconscious brain works that's why we have a skyrocketing amount of kids especially and adults whose mental health is tanking because we are chronically online and we don't consciously see the effect it has but our subconscious brain is taking all of that in it's going from high to low to high to low on social media even in a tiny 20 minute window of scrolling and so we could focus on that we could focus on oh well it's really bad my brain has absorbed so many things and subconsciously I've already got my beliefs you know done and dusted we're not gonna focus on that we're gonna focus on the positive side of your subconscious brain which is that you get to feed it information you get to rewire it you get to send it all these beautiful signals so use that to your advantage a great example that works very well in my life what this looks like if instead of waking up because we all have busy days we all have a lot on our to do list nobody is unique nobody has it different whether it's emotional baggage whether it's operational things that you need to get done an admin list pain suffering whatever it may be and so when we wake up it's very likely that many people wake up and go straight into doing because we have so much to do on our list and so sometimes that looks like grabbing your phone and checking your emails when you wake up or going straight onto social media because maybe you're having a really tough time and that just distracts you from everything so what about creating now we're gonna use all of the last three tips that I've just given you we're gonna slow down we're gonna maybe take a little intentional breath it can be that small just a breath and we're going to create a buffer so what about using this time to there's so many free apps nowadays I'll link maybe below my favourite one on Inside Timer you can put on a guided meditation so often I don't want you to like lose me here because often people think okay you want me to meditate no I want you to listen to things that are uplifting I want you to listen to things that align with the type of life and person you want to be for example sometimes it's very difficult to go from every morning you've been waking up checking your emails to completely not touching your phone so we again gonna be softer with ourselves how can we bridge that gap well you can still pick up your phone you're gonna go straight to the inside timer though so you still get that like hit from picking up your device because it is a hit to your body you're gonna get that and you're going to go straight to your inside timer app or whichever app you choose and you're gonna go to your favourite meditation there are five minute meditations there are two minute ones there are 10 minutes ones there are 20 minute ones it depends on where you're at work with yourself there is no reason you need to start with a one hour meditation in bed if 20 minutes feels too long go for two work your way up right you don't need to start at the finish line go ahead and click on that and you do not need to meditate in this time now it sounds funny but all I want you to do is listen is be there lie in bed however long you choose before you start your day and something I like to listen to like I said I'll link it below I like to listen to health affirmations so I like to listen to how healthy my body is how much I'm thriving how all the cells in my body are shining and happy like glowing sunshines because I cannot go into my day thinking that the world is doom and gloom when I've listened to that somehow it hits something that's when I'm consciously listening but it's been so many days of waking up and doing that that I I finally believe that if that makes sense and so I urge you you do not need to listen to every word but play it in the background in your buffer time work with your subconscious brain and start absorbing beliefs around the type of life and person you want to be if you wanna be healthy if you wanna be successful if you wanna be calm if you wanna be anything if you want your life to look a certain way because you are allowed to choose you are allowed to have anything that you'd like you just need to put in these small and consistent moments in your day so what I'm trying to teach you in this episode is don't wait until you have a long holiday to relax quote unquote because if you can make these micro moments happen in your day you are going to have a life that feels calm you should not have to wait until those holidays you should not have to wait until Saturdays you can create these tiny micro moments in your day and your entire life will feel that slowed down feeling that I'm talking about and you will be rewriting words in your head that have stuck with you for so long the guilt and the shame aspect that I spoke about in the beginning of the episode maybe you listen to an affirmation about your self worth and that you deserve rest maybe you rewire that part of your brain we have access to so many beautiful tools and I just wanted to remind you that you can do this in a slow and sustainable way you do not need to jump from one extreme to another so I'm gonna recap the four steps number one slow down your actions whatever you're doing No. 2 create an intentional moment whether it's even just a few breaths with no expectation of the outcome don't expect the breaths to make you feel calm just do them because you've created the space for yourself No. 3 which ties into the last two create a buffer zone you cannot go from one extreme to another so create that buffer that works for you and No. 4 use and work with the power of your subconscious mind work with it teach it things let stuff play in the background be mindful all of these are just gonna teach you to be mindful and do little micro check ins with yourself constantly and then you're gonna teach yourself longevity emotional longevity you're gonna teach yourself physical longevity you're gonna look after yourself over a elongated period of time and not just when you hitting a wall so I hope that these help if they have helped please let me know I'd love to hear your thoughts feel free to go and listen to meditation feel free to watch another episode at the end of the day your support means so much and I hope that the value provided I hope that the value resonates with you and it helps so much when you share and when you yeah just do whatever you can do with this episode so wishing you a beautiful day and remember that the light that you're constantly seeking outside of yourself is just waiting to be acknowledged within have a beautiful week I'll see you next week bye