The Ordinary Doula Podcast

E97: 23 Lessons From 23 Years Of Birth Work

• Angie Rosier • Episode 97

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Birth rarely follows a script, but patterns emerge when you’ve walked alongside thousands of families. Angie marks her 23rd year as a doula by distilling 23 honest lessons about labor, from the mental game that steadies you through transition to the quiet power of movement, nutrition, and a supportive team. This isn’t glossy advice—it’s grounded insight on what actually helps in the room: how partners can turn knowledge into comfort, why birthplace culture affects your options, and how a clear set of priorities functions better than a rigid plan.

We dive into the realities of long inductions and lightning-fast second births, exploring how to prepare for both the marathon and the sprint. Angie unpacks the midwifery model and provider fit, explaining where physiology thrives and when medical expertise is essential. You’ll hear why prenatal education often does the heavy lifting, how strategic position changes may prevent some cesareans, and what chiropractic care can contribute to pelvic balance and comfort. Just as important, we shine a light on postpartum—a phase that deserves real planning for recovery, feeding, sleep, and mental health.

Breastfeeding support, often underused and misunderstood, gets candid attention, along with practical ways to find help covered by insurance. Through it all runs a core message: trust the process, shape your preparation, and let your story unfold with your values at the center. If you’re building your birth plan, considering a midwife, or simply looking for an empowering, evidence-aligned approach to labor and postpartum, these lessons offer clarity and calm.

If this conversation supports your journey, follow the show, share it with a friend who’s expecting, and leave a quick review to help more families find it. What’s one priority you’ll put at the top of your birth plan?

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Show Credits

Host: Angie Rosier
Music: Michael Hicks
Photographer: Toni Walker
Episode Artwork: Nick Greenwood
Producer: Gillian Rosier Frampton
Voiceover: Ryan Parker

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to the Ordinary Doula Podcast with Angie Rosier, hosted by Birth Learning, where we help prepare folks for labor and birth with expertise coming from 20 years of experience in a busy doula practice, helping thousands of people prepare for labor, providing essential knowledge and tools for positive and empowering birth experiences.

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I'm your host, and I love doing this and spending time kind of for myself reflecting on what I have learned, um what I know, kind of what I've experienced over the course of my career and sharing that with you. Kind of the whole point of my podcast is to share real live um preparation with those with everyone, right? With those who maybe can't afford to use a doula. Doula's are expensive, they can be. Um, and maybe you can't afford a doula, but I hope that you can get the preparation or some of the preparation a doula would provide you and support by um just getting it from lots of different sources. And hopefully this is one of them. So for this episode, I wanted to, I'm actually starting my 23rd year of this work. Um, every fall time, that's when I trained to be a doula, so that starts me a new year. So I wanted to share 23 lessons I have learned um about birth and being a doula in the last 23 years. These are in no particular order, and I I honestly just came up with these pretty quick and I was just thinking off the top of my head. So you know, as I thought, like I could spend a few days considering this and thinking about this, but um this was actually a pretty quick reflection, but hopefully you'll um get something out of that. So these are in no particular order, but I'm gonna go through my 23 quick lessons that I've learned in the last 23 years. Number one is that women are strong, they are amazingly strong. I've seen incredible um strength shown by women under incredibly difficult circumstances, whether by time, fatigue, pressure, endurance, all of the above, um, sorrow. Um so that's my number one lesson is that women are amazingly strong. Number two, anything can happen. The longer I do this, the more I realize that anything can happen. Birth can go a lot of different ways. Um, there's like textbook normal, that everyone who trains in this and prepared for this, like there's stuff that is normal and then there's stuff that is outside of normal. And it's just blows me away what is possible and what can happen. Number three, birth works, like physiologic birth, um, the body, the systems, the organs, everything that we have within us to give birth. It works, birth works. We um interrupt it a lot in our current culture, so we don't see all physiologic birth all the time for sure. If we're in hospital settings, especially, but birth works and we need to trust it. Birth is big. Number four, birth is hard. Um, most often when I help someone through a labor and birth process, kind of some of their reflection at the end is that was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Um, I didn't know it would be that hard. Every once in a while I'll get somebody to say, Oh, that wasn't that bad, or that was easier than I thought. But very much most often is wow, that was the hardest thing I've ever done. And likely it is and will be one of the hardest things physically. And it's not just physical, right? It pulls in everything about you that makes it hard. Number five, it's a head game. Like birth is so much a head game, and preparation goes a long way in your head game. And you can, it's about a mental mindset. You can shift your mindset as you learn and educate yourself. You can make the head game in your favor. So when you're you learn about it, you're not as afraid of it, you're more prepared for it. Um, and you have tools to work with it. So, yeah, this is a head game. Get your head in the right space and prepare for it. Number six, the capacities of the human body below my mind. That's for um exhaustion, for endurance, for just then strength that people can find. Um, it's this is like watching a an endurance, like a an elite athlete endurance event, and every single woman does it that I have worked with. It's pretty incredible. So the capacities of the human body are wow, just something else. Um, number seven, the capacity of the human spirit is beyond my comprehension as well. I've also been just mind-blown by what the human spirit can handle. That's it, partners and um other people on the birth team. This is like the absolute joys that are experienced, the ecstasy of some of this, these experiences in birth, and the absolute sorrow and loss and also fatigue that goes through that and and the um, yeah, just the process that the mind and body go through for everyone, but of obviously mostly for the birthing person. But the the human spirit can handle a lot. Uh the capacity is huge. Number eight, partners matter. Partners matter. Like how that partner's involved, how the partner supports is huge to the birthing experience. Some women can do it, quote unquote, on their own, um, with uh either no partner at all, no support, or with a very unsupportive partner. But that's more work, but partners matter, and they um can make the birthing experience so much better by investing in it, being truly present and um being an asset to it. Partners are incredible to the birth experience. Um, number nine, midwives are like my heroes. Um, I just every time I meet a midwife, I'm like, oh, can I just hug you? Thank you for the work that you do. Um, midwives, I love their approach to birth. And this is in general terms, obviously, right? The um the uh philosophy of midwifery is focused generally a whole lot more on physiologic birth and patient-centered care. Um, and the midwifery model. I absolutely love midwives. So whether they're a hospital midwife, out of hospital midwife, kudos to all the midwives. Thank you for doing it. And to those who are pregnant, consider using a midwife. If there are midwives in your area, educate yourself, first of all, on what midwives are. So many people um think they want a doctor, not a midwife, because you need a doctor to deliver your baby. Um, and doctors are great too. I've met some incredibly and amazing, um, amazingly compassionate and skilled OBs for sure. Um, but check into the midwifery model of care. Um, it it's a really good match for a lot of people. And in some countries, midwives take care of everyone unless there is a high risk or um elevated risk situation. Midwives give all the all the care to most people. So go, midwives. You are my heroes. Number 10, labor can be incredibly long. Um, it can take a very long time, and this is within the range of normal to dilate at all, from one centimeter to two, um, from one to four, from four to ten. Like we, it's hard to put timestamps on these things. I've honestly seen people induced on a Monday and have a baby on a Friday, and that is within the range of normal. Some people think there's something wrong with that. Um, we should just do a C-section on Tuesday in a case like that. Um, but birth can't be incredibly long, especially when we're inducing cervixes that aren't quite ready and minds and bodies and babies that might not be ready too. That's, you know, a loaded, that's a loaded statement because there's a lot of factors there for sure. But birth can be long. Number 11, birth can be incredibly short. So on the flip side of that, um, sometimes labor can be 45 minutes. Uh, when I'm working with couples having their second, third, fourth baby, sometimes in our preparation, we'll discuss what it would be like if labor really truly was 45 minutes start to finish. Like, what would you do in the middle of the night if it was like that? What would you do in the middle of the day if somewhere if you're at work, somebody's at work? Um, birth can be incredibly short. That's what's fascinating about it. The body can take a really long time to do the same thing, and the body, another body can take a really short time to get the same tasks done. And that of dilating to 10 and excreting or pushing out a baby. Um, where are we? Let's see. Number 12, birth place matters. Um, every hospital I've worked in, we're up to about 40, I think, and birth center and home, like hospitals specifically, they each have a certain culture about them. Like as a group, that hospital believes this about birth, their practices, their policies, their procedures kind of highlight what they think about birth and their patients, really. So birthplace matters. So if you have the luxury of choosing, um, do a little research on the hospital that you're going to be going to and see, ask around, ask in your doula community, ask um other like-minded people, like what is this place like? What's their um a lot of times you can ask online, what's it like at this hospital or that hospital? Because birthplace does matter. Um, number 13, prenatal preparation is sometimes where you will do most of your work. Um, so sometimes the preparation you do, whether that's a class, whether that's reading, whether that's um using an app throughout your pregnancy, specifically to prepare for labor and birth, in some situations, your prenatal preparation makes all the difference. So if someone has um a birth that's really interestingly short, you might spend a whole lot more time preparing for it than actually doing it. There have been many situations where as a doula, I've done all the prenatal preparation with someone, and then something happens where their birth is fast or early or um as something unexpected comes up, and that prenatal preparation is vital to them having a positive birth experience. Um, so make sure you prepare in whatever way that that speaks to you. Number 14, a birth plan is your list of priorities. So, no, we can't plan birth. We know that, right? Labor and delivery nurses are pretty infamous for taking birth plans and saying there's a ticket to the OR, right? Um, they kind of will mock people who have birth plans, but it's a plan, a birth quote unquote plan is just your list of priorities. And that might be simply that you are listened to, you want to be heard during your process. That might be that you're supported, that you're informed, that you're not left alone. Um, and it can obviously birth plans can go into postpartum and infant care, though that first hour and and moments of birth. So have some priorities, please. Other than being healthy and having a healthy experience, what kind of experience do you want to have? A positive experience, I hope. An empowering one is the best, in my point of view. So, birth plan is a list of your priorities. Make sure you have priorities. Number 15, let your birth story unfold before you. A lot of people get hooked on an idea. They want their birth to be like this, they want their birth to be like that. Probably it won't be. Like the the probability of it being how you want it to be and how exactly how you think it will be is pretty low. Um, there's generally surprises, those are not always negative, but there's generally some twists and turns in the plot and some little unexpected things sometimes come up. So let your story unfold. And your story, I promise, will be its own incredible work of art. Um, whether it has some really sad parts of your story or hard parts of your story, let your birth story unfold before you and let it be the story it was meant to be. And prepare for it as best you can. Number 16, many, not all, but many cesareans can be prevented by movement. So if that mom's body moves throughout the labor process, throughout the second stage of pushing process, um many C-sections can be prevented by that. I've seen it many, many, many times. Not all, but many. Number 17, nutrition and pregnancy is grossly neglected. Please pay attention to your nutrition and pregnancy. Learn about it, dive into that, see how you can make your pregnancy, especially if you're feeling icky and sick, like how can you make things a little bit better by the nutrition that you consume during pregnancy? And nutrition will impact your outcomes, both for labor, delivery, postpartum, and for your baby's entire life. Number 18, I love it when I get hired by a multip or somebody who's having their second or third baby. I absolutely love it. I have to admit that. When I get a call or a text or a message that says, hey, I'm expecting my second baby in March. Could you be my ideal? I'm like, oh yes, I love second babies. Second babies are lovely. I think everybody that has a first baby deserves to have a second baby just because after doing all the work of a first, you deserve to have that lovely second baby come slipping into the world, um, probably in a much quicker fashion than your first did. First babies, not always, but first babies can be a lot of work. So I love a good multi birth. Number 19. I truly love and adore every single client I have ever worked with. And I think about them. Um, maybe they don't think about me ever again, um, but I learned so much from my clients. Um, I do just, it's this weird and cheesy, but I do just keep them deep in my heart. Um, even people I haven't enjoyed all that much. I really truly love them. And I get to see in women's faces all the time and all over the place repeated these incredible people, absolutely incredible people that I hold in very high esteem. I absolutely admire and adore um and have a deep respect for the people, the families that I've been able to work with over the years. Number 20, chiropractic caring pregnancy can address many of the aches and pains that are considered normal during pregnancy. That's something I learned firsthand 17 years ago when I on my fourth pregnancy um went and saw chiropractor during pregnancy for the first time. And in my first three pregnancies, aches and pains that I thought were normal when I was in my 20s, um, in my 30s, like I got rid of them because I was getting good care that way. Helps have shorter labors. A lot of times, pelvis is lined up again a lot about babel fetal position and movement during um labor and how the pelvis can be lined up for that. Number 21, we do not give enough preparation or thought or time to the postpartum period. So we put a lot of effort and classes and preparation and education into the birth experience, which might be two hours long, it might be two days long, it might be somewhere in between there. And then we have all these hours and days and weeks of postpartum period, which includes breastfeeding and healing and recovery after being tired, after a big event that's emotional and physical. So please give a little bit of time and preparation and intention to your postpartum planning. Your postpartum period, that's recovery, that's support that you may need and want and breastfeeding if you're going to be on your breastfeeding journey. Number 22, breastfeeding needs more support and preparation. Um, having been a lactation consultant now for a few years, um, you know, I've I've referred out to lactation consultants all the time, but it's interesting to me to see firsthand, like a front row seat to how often there are breastfeeding challenges. So breastfeeding needs more support, and I want people to know there is support out there. Um look around, ask around. A lot of insurances will even cover some lactation support as well. Okay, number 23. This is the last one, and I did um give a little, I gave a little bit of thought to all of these, of course. But this one, like, okay, what is my favorite takeaway? What's my favorite lesson um of the last, you know, as I'm going into my 23rd year, the last 22 22 years. And that is that I am so grateful and feel so fortunate to absolutely love what I do. I realize a lot of adults have um jobs they don't really love and they do something that they have to do, they don't want to do, um, that they may not have a passion for. And I feel incredibly fortunate that I absolutely love what I do still. It has its hard parts for sure, as I know I've mentioned in some episodes here. But um, after all these years, my number 23 lesson is that I'm so incredibly grateful to love what I do, and that I feel passionate about it. And as it changes over the years here and there, I'm I'm glad I get to be a part of it in some way or fashion. So that's my recap of 23 lessons learned in 23 years. And hopefully um you're learning your own lessons along the way, whether this is your first pregnancy journey or your 15th pregnancy journey. I did, you know, at the hospital the other day, somebody's having their 16th baby, kind of cool. Um, but wherever you are on your journey, hopefully you can find some lessons learned as well. It's lessons that will carry you into your life. Birth reflects life, and there's a lot of lessons to be had as you are on these journeys. So thanks for hanging with me and and hearing a little bit about what I've learned in the last 23 years. Hopefully you have a um good lessons learned in your life as well. And I hope you have a great journey wherever you are in your professional or personal journeys. And as always, I want to end this episode with encouraging you to reach out and connect with someone. Um, maybe it's a longtime past friend or family member you haven't connected with for a while. Reach out to them. Um reach out and make a connection that can mean all the difference in the world for them and for you. Hope you have a good one. Thanks for being with us here on the Ordinary Doula podcast. This is Angie Rosier signing off.

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Episode credits will be in the show notes. And next time, as we continue to explore the many aspects of giving birth.