E109: Prepare, Stay Open, Find Power In Any Path

Birth keeps us honest. Patterns suggest what might happen, then a baby turns face-first or a parent breathes through transition so quietly the room barely moves. We walk through three recent stories—a first-time labor that stretched across days and ended in a necessary cesarean for a face presentation, a second birth that unfolded with calm, self-directed pushing and an immediate skin-to-skin latch, and a third journey where an early epidural became the right tool at the right time. Different routes, same core pursuit: safety, dignity, and agency.

We dig into what truly shapes outcomes: thorough prenatal preparation, clear communication, respectful provider care, responsive nursing, and partners who read needs moment by moment. You'll hear how position changes address asynclitism, why progress can stall at nine centimeters, and how a supportive environment—low lights, movement, water, and quiet—can help physiology do its job. Just as important, we explore the limits of control. Anatomy, fetal position, and individual pain perception still play leading roles, and the best plan is one that flexes with reality.

Our north star is empowerment from the inside out. That means informed choices, consent at every step, and a team that protects your goals while staying honest about safety. Whether you aim for unmedicated birth or plan on an epidural, whether you deliver vaginally or by cesarean, your experience can be powerful when your voice leads the room. If you’re preparing for labor or supporting someone who is, you’ll find practical insight and grounded encouragement here.

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Show Credits

Host: Angie Rosier
Music: Michael Hicks
Photographer: Toni Walker
Episode Artwork: Nick Greenwood
Producer: Gillian Rosier Frampton
Voiceover: Ryan Parker

Chapters

• 0:10 Welcome And Who This Helps
• 2:18 Factors That Shape Birth Experiences
• 5:42 First Birth: Unmedicated Plan, Long Labor
• 12:20 Stalled Dilation And Position Strategies
• 18:10 Graceful Pivot To Cesarean And NICU

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:10

Welcome to the Ordinary Doula Podcast with Angie Roger, hosted by Birth Learning, where we help prepare folks for labor and birth with expertise coming from 20 years of experience in a busy doula practice, helping thousands of people prepare for labor, providing essential knowledge and tools for positive and empowering birth experiences.

SPEAKER_01: 0:50

My name is Angie Rosier. I'm your host, and as always, happy to share a little bit of time with you here today. So this podcast is designed for people in that time frame of life having babies. Um maybe doulas are listening, um, people who are pregnant, lactating, all that stuff. And hopefully I like to take just information. Um, I mean, this is my entire life. For a long time, it was my personal life. I mean, I had babies for about 16 years. Um, believe it or not, I lactated for about 17 cumulative years of my life and loved that time of life. Like I'm past that now, but I am still kept both feet in in this time of life professionally as a birth duo, lactation consultant, and um postpartum doula. So I, yeah, if you're in this time of life, I'm a little bit jealous. Like it's pretty awesome. Maybe you don't think so, but um pretty sweet time of life to be having babies, um, raising little ones, feeding them, being pregnant. Um, that's kind of, I don't know, that's a cool jam to be in. So hopefully you are appreciating that time. Definitely hard for sure. Gosh, there are hard things about it all the way around. But I like to just share some tidbits, some tips, some information from my experience, both personally and professionally, that hopefully helps or um strengthens your um resolve, increases your joy, expands your understanding, whatever that might be. Hopefully there's something for you to gain by listening to these episodes. So today um I want to talk about I have had a whole flurry of births the last, I don't know, month or so. Um, they come in little batches. It's kind of interesting. Like it's been the last few weeks, it's been every Sunday, Monday. There's been a baby born every Sunday, Monday. So um, which is nice. You know, I I I I love a good weekend birth, it's actually great. Um, and a couple stand out to me, a couple of experiences as I watch people go through the labor process, as I watch their body do this work, um, as I watch their reactions to the labor process, and that's physical reactions, emotional reactions, as I watch their partners as well. Um, it's just really phenomenal to me how different this experience can be for anyone, for everyone, right? Um, even people having, you know, multiple children, they're gonna have a different experience each time. Um, and I I've always liked to like, I don't know, it's it's a stab in the dark, but look at the components that surround any particular situation. So that is definitely the personality of the person, the makeup of who they are, um, the support around them. So that would be provider support. Who have they chosen as their provider? What kind of guidance and support are they getting from that provider? That's huge in their situation and their outcome. Also, their partner support. Partner support is pretty incredible in how um that's your intimate support system. That's the support system that goes home with you, right? After having a baby that is with you for the duration for the raising of that baby and child. Also, their social makeup, their family culture, um, sometimes their socioeconomic class, like where their their background is coming from. Um, but you know what? I cannot, I cannot find or pinpoint any one mechanism, any one item of the of any one piece of a person's life or their support, um, the fabric of their being that um leads to one type of birth over another. There are definitely contributing factors for sure. Some people are gonna educate and prepare themselves like crazy, right? They're gonna take all the classes. They're gonna just submerge themselves in preparation. Other people do zero preparation and do phenomenally well. Sometimes we have partners that are incredibly hands-on, incredibly present, incredibly supportive, learning right alongside the pregnant person. Sometimes we don't. Um, sometimes we have providers that are very absent and hands-off and heart off. Other times we have providers who are incredibly um connected, and that doesn't always impact outcomes. But I want to talk about a couple in the last few weeks, a couple particular births kind of stand out to me. Um, and they have some common threads and some very different things about them. Um, but some of the common threads were the I don't even know what to call it, the determination, the fiber of the of the being, maybe, um, the emotional makeup um of the woman in labor, right? So in both cases, both women, it was important to them to have unmedicated delivery. That's not the case for everyone, and that is fine. But for these two particular cases, that was very important to them. Um so the first case, this mom, she was having her first baby. It was very important to her. Um, she'd done some pretty great preparation, pretty good communication with her provider about this. She chose midwives. Um, her partner was incredibly supportive, and she didn't want any interventions. And and her provider is pretty respectful about that. So labor began um a few days late, a few days past her due date, which was great. She put off an induction um for a couple days to see if labor would go on its own, and it did. She was so happy about that, and she labored beautifully, just absolutely beautifully, progressed really, really well. By the time she got to the hospital, she was seven centimeters. It was so exciting. She quickly went to eight centimeters. Um, and that's kind of when I arrived. They were ready for me, and they were laboring really well at home. Didn't realize how far along they were. And in my mind, I thought, wow, this, I better hurry up and get there. This is uh going kind of quickly, even for a first baby. So I arrived and was there for many, many, many hours as this person. She continued to labor so beautifully. She did all the things, all the coping mechanisms. We went through a couple cycles, two or three cycles in the tub. Um, she labored on the toilet, she labored on the birth ball, she labored dangling, she labored with her partner, she labored in the bed, she labored on hands and knees, she walked around the room and she did it so well. Like she was determined, she was focused, she was positive. She never once had a glimmer of doubt. Maybe she did internally, she never expressed it or shared it. Um, and she just continued and continued and continued to labor. Well, she kind of hung out at eight centimeters for a really long time and finally got to nine and nine plus and was there for a really long time. And of course, when that happens, we're gonna start thinking like, ah, what's going on with position of baby? Um, and and the nurse and then midwife who were working with us, they felt like, yeah, the baby's a little async. And this mom just went through all the positions, like she did not complain a single, but sometimes would do a couple hours worth of position, prescripted position changes. Um, and they did have a good effect, like the baby's head lined up, got a little lower in the pelvis um as she worked through that. And we're going through a second night basically for her with um uh of work, you know, and she still never quit, never gave up, never complained. Um, and after a period of time, I chatted with her husband. I I pulled him to the side, I said, Hey, you know, uh, what do you think? Like, how do you think she's doing? Like she's doing phenomenally well, but but uh what can we look at here? Um and we throughout the process, we talked about a couple couple other options, of course. We had not used Pitocin at this point, we had not um I think they did break her water at some point. We had not talked, you know, talked much about an epidural. Um and it was funny, like hours, hours, hours ahead of us having this more pointed conversation. She kind of whispered, um, she's like, you know what, I don't know. I'm kind of tired, I don't know how long I can do this. And she just kept doing it for many hours. So had this discussion with her partner. Um, I said, you know what? Like, what do you think? Is she gonna be open to a couple of other things? And she and and she was. She was actually at a point where she was ready. We had that discussion, made some changes. Um, she continued to just march through, do amazing. Um and in the end, her labor or the the dilation never really got past nine, nine plus. The baby got to about to a plus one station. Um, and it was showing signs that uh a cesarean was re was gonna be required. So been in this situation numerous, numerous, numerous dozens, maybe even more times, right? Um, where we do everything we can, and even at all of that, a cesarean's required. And these are kind of the heartbreaker ones when someone's worked so hard for so long and they wanted, they so much wanted um their birth to be a certain way, and they stuck to it. She stuck to it. Um, she didn't do anything different than was her birth plan. But the situation being what it was, um, her birth plan did have to change. And she accepted that with actually incredible grace um and beauty. And turns out this baby was face presenting in the pelvis. So it had come down, had descended to a certain point, but um, the diameter of the cute little baby's face is just not gonna fit well at all through the pelvis. Baby needs some extra help at delivery, um, spent some time in the NICU. So this poor mom, I just this was heartbreaking for me. And I did, I cried with them a little bit as I went and saw them um the next day in the hospital and super sweet. We had a great connection and um, you know, as with most of my clients, just absolutely came to love them, admire them, appreciate them. And we had a we had that little moment. Um, and I, you know, like why? Why, why um, you know, uh of course the baby's position is why in this case. Um, but then we look at other situations, and here's I guess the the global like why had another situation um around that time, like it was within a week or two of that birth. So um kind of could was, you know, looking at the two situations, some different things for sure. This other client, she was having her second baby, so those generally go smoother. She had done an unmedicated delivery with her first baby, so um, we're in a different spot for sure. Um, she chose to work with a OB, a male OB, and not midwives. Um, but her her whole goal, of course, was unmedicated. Um, it was also low to no interventions. Labor progresses on its own. Her labor started and it was, we kind of thought it'd be quicker, and it was quite long. Like she had a really, really long warm-up where she was in labor for going on 20 hours and was at about a four centimeter. Now it wasn't difficult labor, it wasn't crazy consistent pattern. Um, she wasn't working really hard through it, but she was a little surprised. She was like, hmm, interesting. I thought this would be a lot faster. When she arrived at the hospital, she was four centimeters. Um she in a couple hours went to six centimeters. They decided to keep her. Um, I they were ready for me to join them. I joined them. She was laboring beautifully in the tub, beautifully. Like um, she was kneeling, she was moving. Um, we turned on some music, we got some oils going, her partner was there. Um, and this dad, super, super sweet, had done this before. He was a little hands-off, uh, present, but not very verbal, not very um kinetic with her as far like touching her, um, but very present with her. And she really didn't need that, right? She just kind of labored through. Um, we we did work on some position changes and she just guided every single thing, which was phenomenal. Um, but the interesting thing about her, she didn't complain, she didn't um, and it's okay if people do, gosh, I did. Um, she just confidently, gracefully kept moving through labor. And sh the way she behaved, you would never know, she was at eight centimeters, right? The next time they checked her, she was eight, she was quickly at 10. Still so calm, so quiet, so confident, peacefully laboring, breathing through contractions. The birth team got set up. They set up the birth cart. The nurses were in the room. Um, really supportive staff, like incredibly. We lucked out and got an amazing nurse who supported and guided all of this. And as far as she guided the rest of the team, including the doctor when he came in. So our Mel OB came in and he read the room really well. Um, he was quiet, he was very hands-off. Um, everyone protected her space, and we knew she was 10, she could start pushing. Um, and everyone kind of just let her hang out in this beautiful, peaceful, quiet way and let the mom be the guide of her own birth. She did reach down and feel the baby's head. She's like, hmm, yep, she's really close. She just kept this calm confidence about her. And I mean, I know, I've seen it hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of times. Um, birth can get kind of vocal at the at the end. Like birth is, you know, people are showing an ex an um an exhibition of power of some kind, right? Whether they're feeling that in their body, um, they're doing some amazing birth grunts, birth roars, birth growls, like that awesome power that comes with it. Um, and this baby was so close, and we were having, and you don't see this super often, but this beautiful, self-directed, we call it just easing the baby out. She was breathing her baby down, breathing her baby out. Baby's head is emerging, crowning. She gave the tiniest little birth roar as that baby's head emerged. Um, baby came straight up on her, um, did skin to skin. It was just incredible. Uh, kind of a moment of awe for the entire team to be watching and respecting and staying out of her way. Um, this mom deliver in the way that she wanted. Um, and it worked beautifully. Baby went up on on skin to skin, latched within a little while, did an amazing job. We whereas I compare that to the other one, we also, the mom was confident, she had a great team around her, they let her do her thing, um, but interventions had to come into play eventually. So um unfortunate for, I mean, for that mom, I mean, fortunate that we we had a healthy baby who was delivered by cesarean um in that situation. But it's interesting, it's just interesting as I, in my mind, look at these things, compare them. And then sometimes we'll have a client who um I was at a delivery yesterday, and it was like this client's goal also to delay the epidural. She was kind of probably looking at getting an epidural, but to delay the epidural. Um, she got an epidural kind of early in labor. Labor progressed beautifully. Um, the labor, the the epidural was good in some ways, as far as like it took a lot of pain away from her, but but uh we had to get a couple of redoses, right? We had to use her PCA, her um epidural button a few times um for her, and and sh her toleration was was different. And um, why that is is just curious to me, whether it's people's preparation, their mindset, their the foundation of what they believe about birth, it's just fascinating. I guess that's my whole point is so different for everyone. And there's no right or wrong way to be. I like people to go into their birth experiences prepared, open, and empowered so that they're prepared for what may happen. We don't know what may happen. Um, they're open to what may happen because we don't know what happens. I don't want people to be heartbroken because they did not get an epineural, nor do I want them to be heartbroken because they did get an epineural or needed to have a cesarean delivery. Um, and then empowered. And empowerment can come in any of these situations, right? In any of the situations. And the empowerment comes from a couple different sources. That's internally, it comes from the person's, the fiber of their being, right? The fabric of who they are and who they're made up of. Some people will be empowered in intrinsically from inside, um, no matter the situation. Other people need that extrinsic empowerment. So the empowerment, what we can do as birth workers and nurses and midwives and partners, like, is provide that empowerment by offering support, um, consent, right? Consent is huge by respecting, respecting um the space, respecting the person, respecting their goals, respecting their questions. Um, one of the most frustrating things for me to see as a doula in um some birth settings is condescending behavior from usually it's hospital staff, right? Like I don't like it when nurses um don't treat patients well. Most of them do a fabulous job, but um, just be patient with the mom who's working so hard, answer her questions, listen to her concerns and her fears, even if they might seem a little unfounded and a little ridiculous at times. But we all can empower that person. Um and so hopefully from internal and external empowerment sources, what we get out of this is more confident people. Um, that's partners, mothers, um, women. We want women to be empowered from the very beginning of their journey into motherhood so that they can continue that empowerment and pass it along to their to their children. So thanks for listening to a couple birth stories. Um my mind's always kind of mulling these things over my mind and saying, wow, that was amazing. That was hard, that was, you know, perfect, that was the hardest ever. Like, and why? Like, what are all the factors? And we'll never know, actually. Um, that's the cool thing, an amazing thing about childbirth is it it is um predictable yet unpredictable. It has some pretty fascinating components about it um that we don't know until we're in it. It's pretty, pretty amazing. So wherever you are on your journey, um prepare. Prepare yourself. Um, arm yourself with knowledge, knowledge is power, um, and and arm yourself with support from whatever sources it is that you need to seek support. Hopefully that helps a little bit. Um, I wish you well on your journey wherever you are in it. Um, whether you're a birth supporter and worker, awesome. We need we need more of you. Whether you are um a family member or a pregnant person, selves, a partner, uh a um professional staff. Please let's support these people doing this amazing work. Thanks for being with us here on the Ordinary Do La podcast with Angie Rosier. So glad to have you with us. And as always, please reach out, make a human connection with someone today. Give a hug, give a wink, give a handshake, um, send a text, send a message, um, reach out to someone and tell them you love them, that you appreciate them, that you're glad for them in your life. It will be good for you and good for them. Hope you have a great day, and we'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_00: 20:06

Episode credits will be in the show notes. And next time, as we continue to explore the many aspects of giving birth.