Tranquil Topics

Unveiling the True Essence of Counselling with Jodie James

• Stephanie Graham • Season 1 • Episode 6

Share episode

Have you ever wondered why therapy often gets misrepresented in the media and what the true essence of counselling is? Join us as we speak with Jodie James, a dedicated counsellor from Manchester, UK who shares her personal odyssey from being a therapy client to running her own private practice, Jodie James Counselling. Through Jodie's insights, we uncover the supportive and non-judgmental nature of counselling, debunking myths and highlighting the importance of a strong client-therapist connection from the first session. Offering a safe haven for exploring one’s emotions, Jodie sheds light on how counselling can equip individuals with the tools to navigate unresolved issues, such as past experiences that linger in mental health.

As we navigate the parallels between mental and physical health, this episode emphasises the critical need to address mental wellness before it affects our lives. Jodie shares practical advice on recognising mental health triggers and underscores the importance of self-care practices to alleviate stress. We dive into sensitive subjects like grief, loss, and men's mental health, advocating for compassion without pressure, and highlight initiatives like Andy's Man Club and Movember. With numerous mental health resources available, Jodie encourages listeners to seek help without hesitation, fostering a broader understanding and support for mental well-being.

If you wish to speak with or work with Jodie, please contact her using the details below:
https://www.jodiejamescounselling.co.uk/
Mobile: +447535737674
Email: hello@jodiejamescounselling.co.uk
https://www.facebook.com/jodiejamescounselling
https://www.instagram.com/jodiejamescounselling


Emergency Contacts

If you find yourself in a situation where you're struggling to keep yourself safe or you're facing a mental health crisis, please remember that help is available. You don't have to go through this alone:

In case of an immediate emergency, call 999 for an ambulance.

If possible, make your way to the nearest A&E for urgent care.

If you're able to keep yourself safe but require urgent support or advice:

Call NHS 111 (England) / NHS 111 or NHS Direct 0845 46 47 (Wales) for guidance.

Reach out to your GP and arrange an urgent appointment.

Contact the Samaritans on 116 123 for a listening ear and emotional support.

Thank you for tuning into this episode! If you enjoyed this episode please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving a 5* review on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback helps to reach more listeners and continue sharing meaningful content.

"ZapSplat" is the resource used for the intro and outro music in this podcast. You can check them out for your own music requirements at the link below:
https://www.zapsplat.com/music/get-the-groove-an-uplifting-energetic-funky-modern-disco-pop-with-the-feel-of-a-band-piano-drums-guitar-disco-strings-and-more/

For more insights and updates, follow Tranquil Topics on social media or visit the website on the links below.

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2267796
https://www.instagram.com/tranquiltopics/
@tranquiltopics

Steph:

Hi, before this episode begins, this is a trigger warning, as this episode discusses topics related to mental health and counselling. Listener, discretion is advised and if you or someone you know is struggling, please do reach out for support. There are links to immediate free services listed in the show notes. Hello, welcome back to Tranquil Topics. I'm your host, Steph, and today Jodie James is here. Jodie is a counsellor and owns a private practice in Whitefield called Jodie James Counselling. She works with clients face to face as well as remotely, and today we hope to normalise the conversation around mental health, promote understanding and reduce the stigma attached to counselling. So welcome to the podcast, Jodie.

Jodie:

Thank you. Thank you for having me, Steph.

Steph:

You're welcome. So could you tell us a bit about yourself and how you got to where you are now, please?

Jodie:

Yeah, so yeah, my name is Jodie. I'm a private practitioner in counselling in Whitefield, North Manchester. So a little bit about my journey. I found myself a number of years ago needing therapy myself and sort of reached out to somebody in the local area. Um, and it had this very profound effect on me. It really helped me to understand myself and the struggles I was having at the time.

Jodie:

Um, and I just I kind of became hooked on the idea of um, wanting to perhaps look into, into doing the training myself. So I embarked on the counselling diploma, which is kind of in total, it's a sort of four-year training programme to become a counsellor, during which time you have a placement in community, and I worked for a wonderful mental health charity called mist that's located in bolton, um, and I experienced um so much in terms of what um kind of what the counseling work is, um how it presents um. I discovered lots about myself, lots about the work, lots about my um you know, my amazing clients that I was working with um, and after um my training and working in community, I decided to go into private practice

Steph:

Great.

Steph:

So can I ask what is counselling for those listeners that haven't had it?

Jodie:

yeah, um, so counselling is a type of talking therapy. Um, it's a it's delivered by a trained professional, um, and essentially what you're doing in counselling is you're working with counsellor to process sort of what's going on for you um difficult emotions you may be facing, sort of hardship that you find it difficult to get over.

Jodie:

Um, we work therapeutically together within counselling to really make sort of get to an understanding of what is going on for you

Steph:

So if somebody contacts you to work with you, like from the very first contact, what can they expect to their first session with you? So if somebody's not experienced counselling before but they're thinking that they might want to confide, what would they expect?

Jodie:

So in terms of the first session, um, I'll start from before the first session where somebody will make contact with me. There is a very important part that happens at that stage when somebody makes contact with me for a telephone consultation. This is a free 15-minute session where essentially the client will sort of let me know what's brought them to counseling. At that point what I'm ensuring is what has brought the client to see me falls within my skill set. It's really really important that bit. If it doesn't fall within my skill set, what I will do for that client is try to find somebody that is a good fit for them. The reason for this is if I am not a good fit for the client, that therapeutic journey isn't going to be a good one.

Jodie:

A lot of what happens within therapy is about the client and the therapist. It's about that therapeutic relationship. Yeah, if I do talk to a client and what falls, what, what has brought them, falls into that skill set remit, what I typically do is go through what they can expect in the first session, and I do this to alleviate any kind of anxiety over what it may be like to come into my therapy room. So we will talk about what they can expect from the sessions, how I work. I answer any questions they may have. I ask them things like would you like face-to-face or online? And it's all about setting up the the sort of environment that will put the client at ease and allow that therapeutic journey to start. Um, otherwise, you know, somebody's coming blindly into my room and they may have so much anxiety about what's actually going to happen once they get there. But during that phone call it's kind of my job to alleviate any distress that may be coming up from the idea.

Jodie:

Once a client starts sessions and does enter the room, it's all about making that client feel seen, feel heard, feel safe, um, and essentially giving a client the space, the time, the energy that is required for them to to kind of go on that journey of self-discovery

Steph:

yeah, that makes complete sense because, as well, like, I've watched um tv shows that have shown like counseling or someone going to, like see a psychiatrist, and it's portrayed incorrectly, um so like, for example, um, there was an episode of Miranda I watched and she goes to see a psychiatrist with her mum and he sits there saying nothing, just staring at them in silence and it is considering like, oh, I might want to speak to, you know, like an outside person, that's a professional that can help me.

Steph:

I don't think it's um helpful um, but, like, from my own personal experience, I found it was a safe space, there was no judgment and I was provided with tools that could help me deal with what I was going through, because sometimes you don't want to speak to your friends or family because, like, for example, in terms of the bullying, I thought, oh well, I just need to finish school and then it'll be fine because I'm not with them anymore.

Steph:

But it, mentally it's, it stays in there and it affected my day-to-day life unexpectedly. I genuinely didn't think it would. There was a lot of shame that I felt alongside that, so I didn't want to tell my friends and family what was going on, how I was feeling. So to be able to go to, like, I say like a safe space with no judgment, with somebody who can help me, was amazing, and I know like in this conversation, we want to promote the understanding around counselling and what it is and how it can help you and to, like, reduce the stigma. So are there, can I ask, are there any misconceptions about mental health or counselling that you would like to dispel?

Jodie:

Yeah, and I think this leads on from what you said there about the counsellor just sitting nodding yeah, that is a massive misconception. So silence is used in counselling and it should be used. The misconception is that you know we sit there and we nod and you know we get that little what we call the counsellor's frown of empathy and we feedback. Just, you know only what you're saying to us and it's really really not that. It's far more than that, it's a very surface level, look. So, as I said, silence is used in counselling and just to give you a little peek behind the curtain as to why Sometimes when we we talk openly about what is going on for us, because those thoughts have existed kind of in a tangled loop in our heads, we're not really paying attention to how it's making us feel or even really acknowledging what's going on for us.

Jodie:

So sometimes when we say it out loud, what happens is we hear it the first time. We actually hear the stress that's going on. Now, the reason that counselors will use silence and that's that kind of sitting there nodding, um, use silence is because we don't want to interrupt that thought coming to life, that that client hearing themselves. So we use silence as a skill to allow the client to really connect with what's going on for them. Does that make sense?

Steph:

Yeah, that's powerful. I hadn't heard it said like in that way before, but yeah, that makes complete sense yeah, um.

Jodie:

So, yeah, that's. That's one of the the misconceptions, um. Another kind of misconception about mental health, um, is that it is a lifelong commitment, which can sound very scary when you say it out loud. But if we approach mental health like we did physical health, if they both had an even kind of footing in our considerations, we would see that our mental health needs constant kind of tweaking. It needs constant thoughts around what is good for us. You know what helps us for us, you know what helps us? Um?

Jodie:

And when I say it's a lifelong commitment, sometimes we might go through really hard times. We may seek help. It may work, um, everything may be really good for quite a long time and then something else can come along and it can knock us. Now for some, the idea is but I've already done the work, why do I suddenly not feel great again? Um, and just like with physical health, if we kind of don't pay attention to it for a long time, it can really start to have a detrimental effect on us. Yeah, considering mental health as a kind of, you know, I am committed to my physical health and I am committed to my health, mental health. I think if the misconception that it is any different from physical health would be removed. I think it'd make a big difference in the world yeah, I completely agree.

Steph:

I think as well, because you can't see it like you can in terms of physical health, like you go to the gym and like you can feel your muscles ache and you can eat healthy, and you're like, oh, I'm doing my body's um, what's the word? I can't think of the word. But you know, like when you're treating your body really well and you're making an effort to do so, sometimes the mental side of it can slip, or you might think you might not notice the slow decrease in your mood, for example, or something like that, until it's at the point where you're like, oh no, and yeah, I actually need help here. Does that make sense?

Jodie:

Yeah, it does perfect.

Steph:

Yeah. So is there a right time to consider going to a therapist? Because, like I just said, then sometimes it might come out the blue, sometimes you might actually notice it and be aware of it. But when can one be sure if they're? This is quite a subjective question. But when can one be sure that their mental health is affecting their personal, work or academic life?

Jodie:

Yeah, um. So I think it is subjective. The right time can be different for everybody. Yeah, there are some very, very obvious right times, so, um, things like bereavement, um, if we suffer a particularly difficult bereavement and we can't shift our minds from that, you know that is a kind of cause and effect this is the right time. I need to go and speak to somebody about this. In other areas it can be very, very subjective areas it can be a very, very subjective um. So if we take the idea of somebody that may be suffering from depression, um, uh, how we experience depression can be can be different from one person to another.

Jodie:

Um, and some people can get very used to feeling a certain way for a very, very long time before they actively seek help.

Steph:

Right

Jodie:

It's almost getting getting used to the distress of it all.

Jodie:

I would say a good time to consider um, counseling, therapy, any kind of any sort of reaching for help, is if the, the thoughts, the feelings that are associated with you know, I feel low, I'm very anxious, you know I can't get out of bed in the morning or I'm constantly fixating on a particular thought or feeling, that's a really good time to say I need help.

Jodie:

Help because I'm going through something that I can't seem to get myself through. Um, and that's not to. I don't want to be really, really clear on this. That's not to trivialize other people that get to a point in their lives where there isn't actually a one particular issue that's bothering them, but they're getting to a point in their lives where they think I have lost momentum, I don't know what to do with my life, I don't know who I am, I'm losing my identity. You know all those sorts of um what we call existential questions about who we are, um for some, that can prompt kind of reaching out and trying to to gain um help with that understanding of self yeah, that makes complete sense.

Steph:

So, are there? Are there any simple approaches or tips to improve mental well-being? To give it a go before you um contact a counsellor? Are there any, like you know we're saying, about looking after your mental health? What should we be doing to to do that?

Jodie:

So one of one of the kind of big things that we can do to look after our ourselves is to tune into ourselves, um, which sounds very easy, but it's. It's really not. Um, I'd say, be curious about your own mental health. The words mental health have this really kind of weighty feel to them. It can almost be seen as taboo or, you know, I can't say that because. Does it mean this? Does it mean that your mental health is essentially what it says on the tin? It is what is going on for you mentally.

Jodie:

If you can tune into yourself and really start to find those trigger points, find what affects you, you can start to create a sort of personal well-being around that. So, for instance, I'm going to use this very generalized example, um, because I, um, I'm a woman, I identify as a woman, um, but for a lot of women, um, we can tune into our cycles, our hormones and the different moods we experience because of them. For some people it can be really really hard at key points of their cycle to regulate moods, thoughts, feelings, and we get to, we get used to noticing those cycles about ourselves in the same way, regardless of gender. If we can tune into where are we with our mental health? What is affecting us? So?

Jodie:

Do things like the seasons affect how we feel? Do does work affect how we feel? Does um sort of do our families affect how we feel about ourselves? It's tuning into those, those points that allow us then to say, okay, you know what this affects me when I'm in work. It affects me. Do I need to start looking at how I approach work? Do I need to make sure that when work ends, I am looking after myself, I am taking myself out, I am getting fresh air, I'm stepping away from my screen, I'm stepping away from those stresses?

Steph:

Yeah, that's so important as well. I've experienced that recently. So I'm in my final year of uni now. Um, in my 30s, didn't think I'd ever go to uni and like the stress is high.

Steph:

But one thing I enjoy is swimming, um, and we went on holiday in September. We went to France and I was swimming in the sea and I was like I just love it, do the wild swimming and it just gives you that time out and I thought I can sit literally in front of my computer for a full day doing uni work and feeling stressed and worked up. And then I'm like, oh so you're expected to sleep, you're expected to calm down enough to have a good night's sleep, and it doesn't happen. So I've recently made an effort once a week I'm going to get up, I'm going to go for a half six swim at our local gym and I have, and I feel great because I've made that promise to myself. I've kept it. And then, rather than feeling like, oh well, this work's keeping me captive at my desk it's not I'm still managing to fit in stuff. That makes me happy and it really does make a difference.

Jodie:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.

Jodie:

And that is. It's that tuning into self there. It's recognising what are your stresses, what does contribute to those feelings and what can I do, what do I know that helps me at that point to step away from it.

Steph:

Yeah, yeah, and I suppose as well, like in general life I mean this is quite broad me saying this, but I would say that there's usually one person in someone's life that gets on their nerves a little bit, and I think if you have to spend time with that person, then you.

Steph:

It's important to listen to yourself then as well, because it's recognizing well what, what is it about that that's upsetting me, upsetting my body, you know, and trying to figure that out because I've I mean, I'm a lot different now to like me 10 years ago, but 10 years ago I was a people pleaser and If I didn't particularly get on with somebody, I wouldn't make a conscious effort to stay away from them. Do you know what I mean? Like it would just be easier to just get on with it and ignore how I was feeling. Now that's a completely different story and I hope that other people can relate to that. I think it's so important to just check in, like you say, and it sounds so simple when you say out loud, but I think by highlighting that, some people will be listening, that they may not be doing that or they may not realise that they haven't been doing that, and now you'll notice other things, like a domino effect.

Jodie:

Yeah, absolutely.

Jodie:

Absolutely, yeah, absolutely, absolutely

Steph:

So, when we're looking for a counselor or therapist, what should we consider? Is there anything that we should be looking out for?

Jodie:

Yeah, there actually is, and this is a super important point here. Um, so, uh, as it currently stands, in England, counselling and therapist psychotherapist is not a protected status. Now, what this means is anybody can call themselves a counsellor or a therapist. There are a number of governing bodies that are getting together at the minute and trying to change that. So counsellor and therapist has the same protected status as, say, a nurse, simply because it's dangerous to practice counselling or therapy without a recognised qualification.

Jodie:

So one of the things to pay attention to if you're looking for a counsellor or therapist is for a mention on their website, on their bio, on their listings of a governing body. So, for example, on my website, I belong to the BACP, which is the British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy, and what this means is, under the BACP's directive, I have trained enough to call myself as a counsellor. I'm committed to their ethical framework. If a complaint needs to be lodged against me, the client wants to complain about a service they can do to my governing body, um, and essentially I'm accountable, um, for the service that I deliver. Um, there's not just the bacp, there's ukcphcpc, uh, the psa and the aceap, um, there's UKCP, hcpc, the PSA and the ACAP.

Jodie:

There's a lot of acronyms, but essentially, if you're looking for a counsellor, look for somebody that is a member of a governing body. That is so, so important stuff because, as I say, practising without the correct training is just dangerous. I know it was in the british media this week. Uh, there was an article about just how dangerous it is, um. So if there's one thing that I can that I will wax lyrical about, it is look for somebody that is, you know, um, attached to a governing body.

Steph:

I didn't realise that.

Jodie:

No, and that's the thing. That's why it's so dangerous, because people don't realize that. They think if somebody is calling themselves a counselor or a therapist, well, they must be, they must have trained but that's not always the case.

Steph:

So if we, if we have someone that we know a, a friend or a loved one that is struggling with their mental health, even if they are seeing somebody like a counsellor for support, but as us, as a loved one, what can we do to support that person that is struggling with their mental health? Is there, you know, like from an outside, even though we're not involved in the one-to-one process of the therapy how is it best to support somebody?

Jodie:

really good way to support anybody with their mental health is to just kind of remind that person that you're there for them. Um, nobody is asking a friend or a loved one to be an expert on mental health. That's, that's kind of that's what counsels and therapists are for, um, but to to kind of demonstrate an empathy for somebody else going through a struggle is is perhaps first and foremost, one of the greatest things you can do. Um, if, if you aren't particularly close to that person again, it all comes down to the relationship you have um you you can ask them what, what could I do to help you? You know, ask, just asking that question. And that question is important because it gives the person that's going through the struggle the autonomy to say what may help them. Um, but essentially it's about treating that person with care and compassion, um, and being there if or when they need them.

Jodie:

Some people don't like to talk about their mental health struggles, and that's okay too. You know it's never a good idea to try and push that. If somebody doesn't want to talk about it, yeah. But you know, offering the care, offering the compassion, asking if there's anything that can be done. Um it, that's a really kind of nice way to demonstrate it. But also and this is really important understand where you're at too. You know, we all want to help people with their mental health. We all want to help our friends and our families. Um, be very, very mindful of where you are at to it. You know. If perhaps you are struggling, what does that mean for you? Um, because you can't kind of fill somebody else's cup up if, if yours is running empty.

Steph:

Yeah, that's so true.

Steph:

The reason that I asked as well is because in my personal life I've observed like avoidance, you know, like if there's if there's been a death and somebody's grieving, people don't know what to say, so they'll avoid or they'll leave you alone for space, but it can have the opposite effect of well like feeling really lonely. Does that make sense? So if we could just be open and ask like do you need any help? You know it goes a long way, doesn't it?

Jodie:

Yeah, yeah, it really does, and I think that's it's a great point you mentioned about, you know, sort of not the avoidance side of it, and the thing is with with, we'll take grief, for example. It is it's not widely spoken about, we all experience it and it's it's just, it's mind-blowing that, in you know, it's 2024 now and we still struggle to talk about grief, about death, yeah, and for some people it can feel, you know, too taboo, too crying, too personal, and there is that then, that feeling of people trying to avoid me, um, but just kind of asking how somebody is, um, is there anything you need? Um, it can go a long way to help yeah, and I know there's in the media there's been quite a spotlight on men's mental health as well.

Steph:

Yeah, is there a way that we can support the men in our lives? Or is it like the same thing, because from what I've perceived from the media and from men that I know, they tend to stay on the more quiet side compared to women who will confide in the group of friends.

Steph:

I'm not saying like all men, but from what I've seen it is different yeah yeah and it is and you know it's really good kind of bringing it to into the, into the um spotlight there and because it is, and I think for men who grow up in a certain way, the discussion of feelings is again it's that taboo subject.

Jodie:

So if you grow up in a way where feelings don't feel like you can explore what you talk about, then it can create this idea of, well, I can't talk about it, even if I am going through something particularly hard, can't talk about it even if I am going through something particularly hard. I think in the last couple of years we've seen some fantastic initiatives with men's health. So we've seen the rise of Andy's man Club, which is a great kind of facilitation of group conversations around men's struggles, even things like Movember. You know the kind of growing moustache for November that has taken on more of a men's mental health kind of initiative now. But I think the more that it is pushed in conversation in social media, the more it's normalized, especially amongst men, the more it's going to remove that taboo. It's going to remove that shame that you know men feel that actually, you know I can go and talk about these things. That are those facilities that allow me to talk about how I feel.

Steph:

Yeah absolutely so can I ask for the listeners what's one piece of advice that you hope that our listeners take away from this conversation we've had today?

Jodie:

an am going to go with it. They're super agile. It's okay not to be okay. It's okay to um ask for help and to access help. Help comes in so many forms now, um, and unfortunately, because of um, you know, restrictions to budgets, um, people maybe don't know about them. So not being okay and reaching out for help is absolutely fine to do and it doesn't have to be, you know, a private practice counsellor.

Jodie:

If finances are, you know, a bit of a struggle, you can speak to your GP. You can speak to your GP. There are IAP services linked to the NHS, which is improved access to psychological therapy therapies, and these put you in touch with counsellors. There's also and you know, not every community has these, but I know in the local area of Bury of Bolton we have drop-in services run by some amazing charities. If you Google kind of free drop-in sessions, you can find them, especially in the local areas of Greater Manchester. So help is there and you know there is help that fits in with budgets. So if you feel that need to ask for help, you know make that first google search. Speak to a doctor, because it is okay not to be okay

Steph:

Brilliant.

Steph:

Thank you so much. How can people find you? How can they work with you?

Jodie:

So I believe you're going to add my socials to the show notes, but essentially you can find me on Google. Jodie James Counselling. I'm listed on Counselling Directory on Psychology Today. Yeah, yeah, I'm all over social media, um, but there are, you know, there's. There's plenty of ways to to find me. Just just pop me in google, it'll come straight away. But, as I said, I'm basically in North Manchester, so yeah, and you do in person and online sessions.

Jodie:

I do. I do in person, online. Um I did have every kind of hope to offer walking talking therapies as well, um which it does say on my website. Unfortunately, with my kind of client caseload being as high as it is, this isn't something I can offer at the moment, um which I wish it was, I really do, but it's just not enough hours in the day

Steph:

Brilliant.

Steph:

Well, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for sharing your experiences, thank you for sharing your insights and, like we said, if you'd like to work with Jodie, please do reach out to her. I will link all her socials and contact details in the show notes and thank you so much for listening.

Steph:

Thank you for listening to Tranquil Topics. You can follow me on instagram at Tranquil Topics and please rate, review and subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening from. Thanks, and I'll be back in two weeks with another episode. Bye, thank you.