Tranquil Topics

Trusting Your Intuition and Embracing Authenticity with Lizzie Moult

• Stephanie Graham • Season 1 • Episode 11

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What if you discovered that your path to happiness lay halfway across the globe, steered by an inner voice you never fully understood? Lizzie Moult, a Holistic Cognitive Behavioural Therapist and spiritual mentor shares her transformative journey from the Australian wilderness to the enchanting Scottish Highlands. Her story is one of intuitive living, shaped by cognitive behavioral therapy and positive psychology, that led her to trust her instincts and chase a vision of snow-capped peaks and serene lochs.

Immerse yourself in the art of listening to your inner voice as Lizzie unpacks the emotional literacy needed to discern life’s true desires. Learn how to navigate the human experience by embracing larger emotions, distinguishing between joy and sorrow, and acknowledging the whispers of intuition that beckon change. Through heartwarming anecdotes, Lizzie illustrates how overcoming imposter syndrome and the fear of judgment can lead to a life that is not only fulfilling but true to oneself.

Finally, discover the empowering practice of mindful decision-making with Lizzie's "Decision Tree" process and how setting achievable goals can transform aspirations into reality. Prioritising self-belief over people-pleasing, Lizzie encourages us to embrace our uniqueness and concentrate energy on what truly matters. Join us for an episode brimming with practical tips and inspiring stories that challenge you to trust in your instincts and pursue an authentic life.

If you wish to speak with or work with Lizzie, please contact her using the details below:
https://lizziemoult.com/
https://www.instagram.com/lizzie_moult/
https://www.facebook.com/lizziegmoult

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Steph:

Hello, welcome back to Tranquil Topics. I'm your host, Steph, and joining me today from the Scottish Highlands is Lizzie Moult, an adventurous Aussie country gal who is here to teach us how to stop taking on other people's stuff so we can learn to trust ourselves and our vision while still feeling confident enough to create it. Lizzie has a down-to-earth way of bringing your essence to the forefront, weaving cognitive behavioral therapy, positive psychology and life experience together to take you from a wannabe rule breaker to full-time rebel, without the excuses or the need for approval. So welcome to the podcast, Lizzie.

Lizzie:

Hi, thanks so much for having me. I'm so excited for our conversation.

Steph:

Thank you so much for being here, so can we start off, please, with you telling us a little bit about yourself and what led you to where you are now?

Lizzie:

So obviously, instantly, my accent doesn't match the Scottish Highlands whatsoever. So I'm originally from Australia and it must have been, I think it's four years now that there was a January and I was just like I am so unhappy. I need something to change and I wanted more from life. I'd been doing a lot of work on myself. I'd been diagnosed as a high-functioning autistic, so my brain is like a next level problem solver. But I couldn't marry like my quirkiness with who I was and all this stuff and I did like several years of like unpacking all that but at the end of the day, like even though I'd worked it all out and it all made sense, I was like there's something that I needed, so I took myself off to a little event, which, funnily enough, I'm actually recreating here in the Scottish Highlands late January and I wrote out this one line Okay, so what do I want? Peaks with water at the bottom, and feel that expansion of self, expansion of heart as I looked out the window because I lived in the most beautiful place. I lived in a rainforest, completely off grid. My water came out of a mountain. Our electricity was solar. It was insane. You couldn't write it. We lived in a fantastic place but it didn't do anything for my heart and I knew that I had to, that we needed to do something, and so when I wrote down that that's what I wanted, I was kind of like no way, like why would I give up this what seems amazing life for something that's completely polar opposite to what was real right? So, lo and behold, the next week my husband started looking for jobs abroad instead of like locally, because that was kind of already on the cards. You know, new year, you want to start something new. And yeah, Fort William. And I was like no way, we're, we're so moving. And he's like I haven't even applied for the job yet. It's like that's fine, we need to start organising visas, we're going. He's like what do you mean? I'm like I just know I can feel it. At this point he's obviously thinking that I'm some sort of crazy lady. But he decided to go with it, which was great, and we ended up moving our family within four months from me having that crazy little idea to him getting a job, relocating from Australia to Scotland.

Lizzie:

So prior to that, I'd actually studied cognitive behavioral therapy and positive psychology. Because prior to doing this work, I was running events for women and trying to like help them and empower them and I was speaking at my own event. I'd actually left myself off the timetable because I'd put everyone else in front of mine like who you know, like they're more important, they need a time slot. And so when I looked at the thing and I was like, oh my god, I've given myself 10 minutes to talk at a two-day event that I'm organising to demonstrate that I'm a speaker and I've got stuff to share and like all this stuff like stories, I was like, oh my god, like I'm a total people pleaser.

Lizzie:

So, along with the diagnosis of being high functioning autistic, I was a people pleaser. I was completely like an approval seeker. I was like I wanted everyone to validate who I was. So to go from that to going you know what I'm going to trust this crazy idea that snow-capped peaks and water was going to like fulfill me. Turns out it does. Living here in the Scottish Highlands right now, I'm looking out on a loch with snow-capped peaks and if you could see my grin right now, you would understand how much this makes me happy. And it's just the smallest little change, but it took great lengths to be able to do it. So that's how I ended up in the Scottish Highlands with a cognitive behavioral therapy practice, working both here in person and online and doing lots of little local events.

Steph:

Okay, I have so many questions just for everything you said there.

Steph:

So, first off, four months, that is a short amount of time to move across the world.

Lizzie:

Know that during COVID we had to apply to leave the country.

Steph:

Wow.

Lizzie:

We had to get police checks to be able to board our plane.

Steph:

No way, no way to me like the confidence it takes to be able to trust your instinct, especially in that situation where you're leaving everything you know and moving and not knowing. You know what I mean. Obviously, your gut instinct was on it and you followed it, and your husband was on board, which is amazing and it's all worked out amazing. But let's, let's go into this. So, first off, can we touch on what is cognitive behavioral therapy?

Lizzie:

So first of all, I have to admit I'm a bit of a holistic approach to cognitive behavioral therapy. It is about helping people reframe things and look at their thoughts. However, I do a lot to do with the body as well. I was so out of my body it wasn't funny and I tried to work out all the thoughts and the thinking. So my brain and the way it works, like that was one component.

Lizzie:

But when I married it with the body and the emotions, it actually began to make sense, like we need to work with both body and mind to create harmony. One isn't better than the other. It's about harmony, balance, yin and yang. It's just constantly like there's this magical relationship that happens and we have to have like both elements in tune so we can listen. So the work that I do is I help majority of people actually get out of their heads back into their bodies, which is what I needed, like to be able to trust myself, because I could actually understand my own body language, because our body holds wisdom, but in this day and age, we're in our heads all the time.

Lizzie:

So working with the mind is fantastic, but when we marry both of them, that's where the magic happens. So, yes, if we're all stuck in our heads, getting back into our bodies gives us the opportunity to actually lean into self-trust, because there's no way for a lot of people. The idea of moving your family halfway across the world now get this. We also had nowhere to live once we got here. All we had was a job, a school for our kids to go to right.

Steph:

Yeah, like I'm not even in the situation and it makes me go

Lizzie:

Whereas, you know, I had a gut feeling that somewhere like this was what I needed.

Lizzie:

And we got here and I remember, like the first day we arrived was like oh my goodness, every Wednesday I'm out and about in the highlands here and I'm like I love this place.

Lizzie:

It's so good. My heart expands to know that and that's the thing to know that, and that's the thing like. So the way in which I help people is to understand these feelings that come up and the diversity of our feelings, what they actually mean. So, yes, we can reframe stuff and learn to get our minds where it needs to be, but if you actually go within, magic.

Steph:

Can I ask your opinion on some people in my life will say I don't have a gut instinct. Whereas I do, um, I've learned to trust mine and I've learned that when I ignore it, I end up regretting that. How do people who say that they don't have one, how do they connect with that?

Lizzie:

I would ask them have you ever like, known something and then five minutes later gone? Oh, I knew that.

Lizzie:

I can guarantee that they have known stuff in the past but don't recognize it as a gut instinct or intuition or, yeah, um, any of that sort of stuff. Intuition is a feeling, so I'm not even know how to explain this for everybody, so I call it emotional literacy. Each emotion speaks to us through our bodies in its own unique way, now some of the things we are all familiar with. So, for example, when we're sad what often happens we might cry, we might shed a tear. Those are ones we all kind of know. But beneath, like the physical and that's the thing with the body there's physical, emotional, but there's also vibrational.

Lizzie:

So often intuition is like a vibration, but where's it showing up in your body? So when you get sadness and you feel the physical tear or you feel a bit of that and maybe your heart's a bit like oh, but sometimes even in your stomach you're like it's so big that feeling. There's a vibration to it as well, and I think for a lot of people we don't want to experience the wholeness of an emotion. So once you can get comfortable with some of these bigger emotions, like listening to your intuition actually becomes easier, because you can differentiate what like happiness is to like a bit of sadness or what worry is, or um, oh, that was like I just had this pull, like what was that about? But usually those pulls like that snow-capped peaks for me is like I wanted to feel expanded. I was living somewhere. Yes, it was probably somebody else's dream, but it made me feel really small and squashed. So that is actually a desire, so that's a feeling. So it wasn't necessarily intuition, right, it was actually my truth.

Steph:

Yeah, does it build, and build if you ignore it?

Lizzie:

I'd call that resentment. If you don't listen, why has that person got that? And I don't if you don't listen, right, but when you start talking about things, and this is the thing so as a former someone who would ask 500 people now I'm exaggerating quite a lot there, obviously, so probably five people if my ideas were valid. If you know, this thing that I was thinking about was real, even though it was based on a desire that I knew that I wanted. I would then go and ask people do you think that that's okay? You know, and that is where I second guessed my own truth and that's where I think for a lot of us, we're like oh, I've got this idea.

Lizzie:

The only person I told at first about my idea about these snow-capped peaks was my husband. Why? Because he's my partner in crime. He's either going to be on board or he's not. I don't know what would happen if it, if he had said no way, we're not going. But luckily I married the right guy and I knew that he was always up for an adventure. But that's the thing. Like, I don't know how I like. What would have happened if, like I wouldn't have had that to be able to follow that opportunity, that feeling, because I wanted it? I knew that I needed it because it was lacking from my life, and that comes from understanding my own needs and how my body's communicating.

Steph:

Yeah, I can relate to that feeling of it's almost like being trapped inside yourself.

Steph:

So, like when I started this podcast, it was in August, and it was my partner who said to me, like why don't you start one? Because you listen to them, and I was like I'm not sure about how that makes me feel. And then he left that and then it was stuck in my mind then just at the back, like there's a new thought and I thought you know what? I'm just gonna do it and just see what happens and the expansion I felt in myself from actually doing it, regardless of, like all those imposter syndrome thoughts. And I'm sure we'll get around talking about that. But if I hadn't have done that, I would have felt it would just been a road of unhappiness because you're not actually acknowledging, like you said, what your body is telling you to do. It wasn't a mind thing, it was like a, like a chest. I don't know how to explain.

Lizzie:

Yeah, here, yeah, and that's the thing, because your mind wants you to stop it, because it's not like, if you don't acknowledge all the emotions and also the sensations, you don't understand them clearly. So, if you can get so once again, emotional literacy, if you can go, okay, when I'm sad, this is what happens within me and like decipher it. So, yes, tears is a sign, but for me I close off, like I am like just leave me alone. Like I want a few days to be gross. I'm like I'm okay watching Netflix for a few days and you guys just eating pizza. Like I'm going, I'm okay watching Netflix for a few days and you guys just eating pizza. Like I'm gonna make peace with that. Because I need that time for my own heart and my own soul to like go through that emotion and give myself the space to do that.

Lizzie:

But then you know, like, if we can acknowledge each of our emotions and be gentle with them, yeah, that like so much information is available. We just have to listen to what our body is saying to us, learn the signals, like with all my anxiety clients that I have, like the first thing I say to them. It's like how do you know when you're about to have an anxiety attack? And they talked me through their little like symbols and then I'm like great, so you know when it's happening. And they're like oh yeah, I do. Actually. I'm like great, so now we know how to like prepare for that or how to manage that or how to look into that, so when it starts, you can like ease some of those things off, as opposed to like going on in down the rabbit hole blind as, like it's just happening to me. Yeah, no, no, you're in control, yeah.

Steph:

So I know you do public speaking events, amongst a lot of other things, and I met you for the first time in November at Mind Body Spirit spirit festival in Birmingham where I attended your talk there, and I was so excited I was I was coming down the the middle of the hall and I was like she's there, I can see her.

Steph:

So I was like number one fan um. But your talk was all about learning, about how to trust your gut, how to read your body signals, to decipher your intuition, and you managed to explain something in your talk that I'd never actually thought about before or heard before, which has changed my life from that moment on and I can't emphasise that enough, would you be able to talk the listeners through the decision tree process, to be able to go through it by yourself without actually needing to ask somebody else what do you think?

Lizzie:

Exactly because that's the whole reason why this thing exists and, by the way, I love the fact you call it a decision tree. Um, I'm like this is how we ask a question. You know it's a decision tree. It sounds more noble. I love it. Okay. So, um, I use this process to make decisions.

Lizzie:

So, going back to that moment where I was like, oh my god, snow-capped peaks. Should I do it, should I not do it? I clearly knew the answer. Here's how I knew that answer. So when we start um with anything, there's always a question, right. So instead of instead of going, hey, my friend, like I need to know about blah, blah, blah, hey, this person, what is the question that you're really asking? You need to get to the very basic question. So mine was do I move my family pretty much right, like to the other side of the world? Potentially, I didn't know all the details, but like, here it is do I need snow-capped peaks and mountains? Yes or no? Two clear answers. So what I want you to do if you're struggling with something right now maybe it's a big decision, maybe it's what dress to wear, like it can be that simple. What is the question you are asking? Write it down on your piece of paper, no emotion attached to it whatsoever, as well, please, just the facts. Then what I want you to do is put an A and a B option so quite often it's a yes or a no or say, for example, if we were, like we knew we were maybe going to move to Scotland, like is it going to be Scotland, is it going to be Canada, like it could have been two places, we might have had an option. Right, oh, I don't know which one to choose. Right, I want you to have two clear choices. So write those down option A and option B. Once you write those down, you've now got a question and two options.

Lizzie:

I generally like to take maybe about probably 5 to 10 minutes to have a meditation, to like really ground myself. So, first of all, I'm not thinking about my question. What I'm doing is I'm grounding myself. I want to like come in to myself, to be able to like explore my question. So, 5 to 10 minutes of meditation, and then what I do is with my eyes closed. I would ask myself the question should I move, should I move, should I move? Now usually I repeat that probably 5 to 10 times and I just sit with that in my body. No attachments, no, nothing. Just sit with it.

Lizzie:

Once I feel like that question's really like hit home a little bit, I then go okay, option A. Option A might be Canada, in this case. All right. So what does Canada look like if I was to move there? What would it look like?

Lizzie:

We don't want to work out how it's going to work out. We just want to know what it would be like if that is the option that became our reality. So, letting your imagination play with that. You know, what sort of house could you potentially be living in? What's the car you might be driving? Who's there? Like you know, it can be anything with your scenario. So just explore it. Once you've like felt that your body would have responded, just take note. And once you've given that probably about two to three minutes, you then move on to option B.

Lizzie:

Okay so, maybe my second option is Scotland. Okay, so what would it look like to live in Scotland? What car would I be driving? Maybe? Who's there? Where am I living? That sort of stuff. You let your mind explore deeply. Give it another two to three minutes, explore, explore, explore. How does that option make me feel? Take note of the sensations in your body. From here and exploring both options, you should be able to tell a clear front winner based on the feeling from in your body.

Lizzie:

Now, to know what's right for you and what isn't is also knowing what feels good and what doesn't. So say, for example, we did have the option of Canada. You know, my first instinct is like, oh my god, there's bears. I don't want to get eaten, you know. So maybe my body would have gone internally, like in a meditation. Like your brain can go anywhere, your body can respond any way it wants. Um, and I remember check, like I call it, fact checking to a certain degree too. Like my body expanded. When I thought of Scotland, I was like, oh, I'd been here before, I knew it was going to be great. Like I don't think I came to the highlands. If I did, I don't remember, but I'm sure it's great. There's mountains check, but it felt expansive. So how to know when option A and option B is good and not good is based on your own yes's and no's.

Lizzie:

So a clear yes is a clear yes and a clear no is a no. Now, if you don't get a response on the first go, what I want you to do is also park it and come back the next day and do it again, because sometimes we come into this trying to work it all out, and that's the thing. In order for it to actually land in your body, you need to have no assumptions or anything attached to your question. You're not there to problem solve. You just need to know if that's the sort of thing that you want in your life. The only person who knows what you want in your life is actually you, so you have to trust what it wants to tell you. Yeah.

Steph:

So I'm going to refer to it now from now on as Lizzie's decision tree, and what I loved about it was it takes away the outside noise and any influence, because I'm quite susceptible to other people's ideas of what's best and sometimes you just have to admit like nobody else knows what's best for you other than yourself. So when I tried your decision tree at your talk, I had a moment of like wow, I know what I need to do now, and before that I'd be saying to Alan oh, I'm thinking of this, what's your opinion on it, you know? Or my mum oh, do you think this is a good idea? Yeah, I wasn't asking myself. So I think for the listeners, please try it. If you're in that position of I don't know, because you will know afterwards. And it's just great it has changed my life because that's my first point of call now, sit down with myself rather than talking to others you know.

Lizzie:

So if you also. I've always found like a rule of thumb if you ask five other people like about something, it generally means you should be doing it.

Steph:

Oh, that's a good point.

Lizzie:

Yeah, right, so you went to your partner. Then you went to your mom, right. Like how many other people did you go and find out? Like you're already talking about it, listen to yourself, right. But that's the thing we don't acknowledge ourselves enough because people pleases approval seekers, we look at others first, so we can't hear ourselves even talk about ourselves at all yeah so yeah, if you catch yourself, I've asked five people about this, oh my god. Well, guess what? Whatever you've just been asking them, go do it okay.

Steph:

So we're on the path, Lizzie. Oh, we're doing it, we've made the decision, we're going for it. What do we do when we hit the self-doubt, fear of judgment, imposter syndrome, all of them limiting beliefs that sort of appear out of nowhere, that you might have been hiding before, but now you've had the confidence to make that decision? I've found in my life, when that decisions been made, there's even a little bit of at the back of your mind where it's you have to push past it. So it's like that phrase of um, it's something like expansion is on the other side of your comfort zone. I don't know if if you know.

Lizzie:

I can't think of what that is either.

Steph:

It's basically, if I describe it as the picture, it's like a really big circle and then a little circle in the middle, and a little circle is your comfort zone, whereas if you manage to fight your way past that and it is so hard to do, all the doors open. You know, but you have to keep going to get to that. So how do we get through our fear of judgment, imposter syndrome, limiting beliefs?

Lizzie:

We'd have to have like a whole day on this one.

Steph:

I know it's huge.

Lizzie:

It's really huge. Number one is you need to have an incredible like self-belief and self-trust within yourself. To get over those thoughts is coming back to you. You need to stop giving everyone else like more of you than you are to yourself, if that makes sense. So the reason why we worry about what other people think is because we give them more of our energy, as opposed to giving that energy back to ourselves.

Lizzie:

So if you want to do something and you know, say, for example, like a really easy one, like I'm just going to go to the shops to get milk, that's a really simple thing. I'm just going to go. Do it right, like how, like, oh, no, what, if? What if the guy next door sees me going to get milk? Like it's, we don't think because we need it, we know it right. But when it's the unknown, yes, it's scary, oh, but you've set a boundary for this first time. Or you know you're gonna wear a new dress that you've never worn in a style before and everyone's like, oh, this is like a bit out there. You know like, so what? Right?

Lizzie:

We worry because we have this fear within us. Now, we all don't want to be cast out or seen as different in society. As human beings, we're designed to be with people, around people. We love connecting with people. So once upon a time, you know, if you were seen as different, you were pushed away, you, you no longer belonged. And so there's generational stuff within all of us of this whole fear of not belonging, because that means that we're different and that's not a safe place to be, because that's a weak link. You know, we need to conform, we need to be able to do this. So to get over that, we need to remember number one we have a choice now.

Lizzie:

Like when I think of my grandma she, she didn't vote until what? Like the 1980s, and when she did start voting, she got told who to vote for by her husband. Like what you know, here I am, I'm like, I can vote for whoever I want whenever I want. Like I'm good, like what a like world we live in now. But that's the thing. Like there was so much society pressure on us and you know we can still feel it today like we're being told what to do and what we should have all the time, but we don't listen to ourselves.

Lizzie:

So if you want to stop caring about what other people think, you need to care more about what you need and what you want, without looking at everyone else. Yeah, because you know I go hiking in the mountains. It's not for everybody, fyi. I also don't climb the tops of those mountains because that's also for some other people, that's not for me. I know that. I'm okay with that. I know what I'm capable of and what my quirks are and who I am. And if you know that and can trust and believe once again self-trust and self-belief here is key. You have that. You don't need to look for others, you don't need to seek validation, you don't need to check that that desire is right. And that comes back to being responsible. Do you know what you're responsible for in this lifetime?

Steph:

I think so.

Lizzie:

She's like maybe, maybe, yeah.

Lizzie:

So our thoughts, our feelings, our actions, that's it. Those are the things that we are actually in control of. So if you're worrying about how somebody else's opinion of you like, how is that in your control?

Steph:

Hmm, it's not at all. It's not with the people pleasing side of it. I realised that about myself at quite a young age, that I was a people pleaser, but because I was at such a young age I didn't know how to change it. So I didn't have many friends in school. Even primary school I was like I don't want to be here.

Steph:

And my parents sent me to a high school that my brother was already at and all of the people I knew from primary went to different high schools. So I was on my own and I think it kind of set me up for my experience of school, which was it was just horrible. I had a lot of bullying, I didn't have many friends. I felt quite confident when I started and then I lost all of that confidence throughout those years and you kind of think, oh, it's fine, because I just need to finish high school and then when I go to college it's gone, but then it stays with you.

Steph:

Yeah, which was a big surprise for me, because I thought I just need to get rid of these people and get out of this environment and I'll be fine. And it was not. Big shock. It was not the case. So I found that's where my people pleasing started, because I wanted to be liked. I wanted the bullying to stop. In hindsight it had the opposite effect, whereas you're then viewed as weak, almost for being like nice to people and being kind to people. So I just wondered if you could share your experience of people pleasing as well, because I think it's quite common and I think for anybody that's listening that may not, they may be aware or they may not be aware. I just think it might be helpful to share experiences of it, if that's okay.

Lizzie:

Yeah, first of all I just want to quickly speak on your experience.

Lizzie:

The most catastrophic like age for us to experience anything like this is actually between the ages of 7 and 12. So anything that happens to us in that those years is really amplified through the rest of our lives. It's a very sensitive time. So anyone's got kids like do look after your kids when they're in that age. Like it's a very unique time, like they're trying to really cement in who they are. So if there's that element of not belonging and not like that worry, like it is so felt and it is held on to, so like even though you might have five more years of high school to go through, you're like practicing behaviors that take you through the rest of your life.

Lizzie:

So, as a people pleaser myself yes, I didn't like high school either. I didn't really have friends. I just kind of like I don't know, just did my thing. But I made peace with the fact that I'm so different from everyone else. I've always been searching why am I so different from everyone else? At 35, I was diagnosed as the high functioning autistic and I was like, oh, that makes sense. But that was like 20 years like after I went through high school, but all I wanted was to feel like I belong, but at the same time I knew I was different. And so people pleasing shows up because we want to feel like we belong. We worry because if we don't belong we're then cast out and then we're alone and no one wants to be lonely. I think that's the scariest thing ever. So people pleasing looks like for those who are like am I a people pleaser? It looks like the fear of disappointing others. It's finding it hard to say no to somebody. It's avoiding conflict. It's seeking approval to validate yourself, your ideas or anything else. It's not conflict. It's seeking approval to validate yourself, your ideas or anything else. It's not setting boundaries, it's them first me, second. Always one of the things as an adult, the number one people pleasing thing was like I never took a sick day.

Lizzie:

I used to work three to four jobs and uni and all the stuff, and I never took a sick day unless, unless, unless I was completely bedridden, so like. Even if I like had like a vomit the night before and I still kind of felt all right the next day, I'd still go to work. Why? Because I didn't want to disappoint somebody. I didn't want to let my boss down. You know, stuff like that.

Lizzie:

Like that is what people pleasers do, because like we'll be fine, we'll be okay. No, you're not. You need a break. And it's okay to take a break because we don't see that we are worthy enough of that. And that's where I think, for a lot of people, people pleasing, like it's giving too much, it's not giving to yourself at all, and that's the thing too. Like I believe that everyone should be kind and you can do acts of love and kindness for people, but do it from a full heart, not one that's depleted or based on any fear whatsoever because that's the thing. If you're doing something because you're avoiding or fearful, that is people pleasing.

Steph:

It can be changed, can't it? You can work on it.

Lizzie:

Testimony to that.

Steph:

I'm at the point now where some people I still find myself struggling to say no to and it's generally like family and close, close friends where you feel like, oh, you know, I really want to, but I don't have time for that, so I'm gonna say no, but I still catch myself like this feels uncomfortable saying no to this person. I just hate that.

Lizzie:

Practice, my friend.

Steph:

I will.

Lizzie:

It does get easier and the thing is I find the hardest people to like practice is with our loved ones. Because they've come accustomed to how we've always been. So if we change our behaviour slightly, they're like oh, that's new. And you're like yeah, it is, but are you still gonna love me for like doing this thing? Like it's big.

Steph:

That's a really good point because I think the danger of people pleasing as well can be people just like it turns into like well, Steph will do it, yeah she'll do it just go to Steph and then you can't say no and then you end up with everyone else's stuff and you feel rubbish. So boundaries, people. We need boundaries.

Lizzie:

Yes.

Steph:

Yeah. So what's the most valuable lesson that you've learned in life? I know you've had huge moves and huge decisions, but what would you say is the most valuable lesson you've had?

Lizzie:

That mind and body need to work together in order to trust yourself. It's like an energetic dance. If you can master that and come to peace with that, I think anything is possible.

Steph:

I do agree, I do agree.

Lizzie:

Yeah, it's, it's big, and I think's the thing like my biggest leap of faith was moving our family over here. You know, I was just like no, this is it. This is happening, and ever since then I've been practicing more of that. I have another mantra you'll like actually as well "yes, please, more, thank you. So Scotland is the land of rainbows. Why? Because it rains a lot, so there's lots of rainbows. So whenever I see one, I'm like yes, please, more, thank you. When something good happens, I'm like yes, please, more, thank you. Like I'm focusing on those positive things when stuff happens, um, as opposed to all that worry and wasting energy on something that I don't want in my life and that took me to come to terms with my head and my heart together going okay, this is, this is how we operate as a human.

Lizzie:

You know both of these pieces and sometimes it's safe to worry, because we do need to worry sometimes about certain things. But then like, how much of your energy are you going to give that? How many days does that need? Is it one day, two days? Can we park it? Is that somebody else's responsibility, not yours?

Steph:

Okay. So I know a lot of people struggle when they're working towards the goals for, like, numerous things that we've spoken about as well, and, like you get past that decision and then you hit all the other things that pop into your mind. So how do we go about achieving our goals in 2025?

Lizzie:

It's the doing like the hardest thing for all of us is the doing so. We can write that to-do list, but it's the doing. Um and yes, stuff comes up in our head and I almost want to stop us, but it's the doing so, and we don't like this word, and much at all is self-discipline, and I think if you're wanting to, like, reach your goals for this year, choose one. Don't start with like the 10 of them. Start with one and increment like small daily changes. That's all that's required. So say, for example, this year I am going to start my yoga practice again. It has been so all over the place since I've had kids. Prior to that, I was a weekly, three times a week yoga person. Now I'm like five minutes, 10, maybe on a Tuesday next month. Yeah, 2025, no, me and yoga are going to become best friends again.

Lizzie:

But the thing is, my expectations on this isn't to be doing yoga for an hour once a week, it's how do I bring this into my fruition of my life? You know, and if that means I am going to be starting with 10 minutes, am I going to do it? 10 minutes a day? Yeah, probably 10 minutes a day is enough to start with, you know, just so I get back into the habit of showing up on the mat, as they say, it's a practice. So if your big goal I don't know, even if it's to go on a holiday, right, like you know, you need to save money. How are you going to do it? Baby steps break it down into smaller, bite-sized chunks.

Lizzie:

And I think the other thing too, for a lot of us is we lose focus on our goals. So if you're focusing on your goal, you'll make it happen, but you need to focus your energy on it, if that makes sense, yeah. So if mine's a yoga practice, I'm gonna be pretty much focusing on yoga for a while. Might be a bit weird, but it's uncomfortable. I kind of know it from the past. But this is a new era of Liz. I've had two kids since then. You know there's different shapes and stuff you know I've got to deal with. That's how this is. This is a new way of doing yoga, so I have to come in it with a new energy.

Steph:

So stick at it and don't overwhelm yourself.

Lizzie:

No overwhelm. That's the thing like the smaller the better. That's the thing like I think we all have these great ideas and like I don't know. It depends on what you're into that you know. Like I'm gonna climb. Like I don't know what's the big mountain I can't think of, we've got Ben Navis here, by the way, but I'm like even I'm not aiming that high, but there's bigger ones. Um, you know, if that's your goal, like it takes practice to get to that height, right? So how do you break it down into smaller bits? So you're getting used to having the thing, but you're practicing it.

Steph:

And how can people find you and work with you, Lizzie?

Lizzie:

Come and hang out with me on Instagram. I love a sneaky DM and a question in Instagram. So it's Lizzie_ Moult on Instagram, or you can find me over my website, www. lizziemoult. com.

Steph:

Thank you so much for coming on the podcast, Lizzie. I have thoroughly enjoyed having you here. So thank you so much and if you would like to work with Lizzie, please do reach out to her. I will link all of her socials in the show notes and thank you again for listening. You can follow me on instagram at Tranquil Topics and please rate, review and subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening from. Thanks, and I will see you in two weeks time with another episode. Bye, thank you.