Tranquil Topics

Celebrating Your Wins: Why Every Achievement Matters

• Stephanie Graham • Season 1 • Episode 26

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When was the last time you truly celebrated a personal achievement? Not just the obvious milestones, but those quiet victories that might seem insignificant to others yet represent profound growth for you?

Through stories of an unexpected Portugal adventure (complete with a hilarious shoe disaster at a formal event) and reflections on my recent graduation ceremony, this episode explores the transformative power of validating your own progress. We dig into the science behind celebration—how acknowledging achievements releases dopamine, reinforces positive behaviors, and builds confidence for future challenges.

What makes this conversation particularly powerful is the recognition that wins come in all sizes. External wins might be visible to everyone, but sometimes our biggest victories are completely invisible to others—like saying no when you usually say yes, setting a difficult boundary, or finally completing a task you've been avoiding. These micro-wins may seem too small to matter, but they're essential building blocks of personal growth.

Many of us struggle with guilt or shame around celebrating ourselves. We downplay our achievements, thinking "it's not that big a deal" or "others have done more." But comparison truly is the thief of joy. Your journey is uniquely yours, and if something has stretched you, challenged you, or changed you, it deserves to be honored.

The people who genuinely support you will celebrate your success without competition or jealousy. They will pick you up during moments of self-doubt and reflect back your growth when you can't see it yourself.

Today, I challenge you to acknowledge one win from your past week, no matter how small. Write it down, say it out loud, share it with someone who cares. Because you're doing better than you think, and every single win counts on this journey of growth.

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Steph:

Hello, welcome back to Tranquil Topics. I'm your host Steph and this week I want to talk to you about something that I've realized over the past few weeks that's really important, and I want to ask you a question: now have you ever achieved something that felt huge to you but you didn't tell anyone because it seemed too small to celebrate? This episode is about validating your own progress and learning to honour your own journey, but I'm going to start off first by giving you a bit of a life update, which I know I don't normally do, but I just feel like I need to share this. So, on some of the previous episodes, you may have heard me talk about a trip to Portugal that came out of the blue through Alan's work, and it's basically Alan got invited and he could take a plus one.

Steph:

So we went to Portugal a few weekends ago and it was an amazing, amazing weekend. I didn't know what to expect at all, and then part of me was thinking, well, we're just going on holiday with a load of strangers that we don't know, so I had no idea what was coming. But we, we got there. We were given a goodie bag. I love a goodie bag. I don't know what it is about me, but if there's anything like a mystery package or, um, you know how, like in bookshops, they can wrap up books and you don't know what book you're getting, I just, I just love a mystery bag, a mystery package anyway. So we got the goodie bag and our room wasn't ready.

Steph:

So we went to the welcome drinks that were put on and we were given badges for the weekend. So we'd never been on one of these weekends before and the welcome drinks were on from about 11am till 6pm and you were given badges and our names were in orange. So orange indicated that we were newbies. We hadn't been to one of these events before. Pink were people that been before and then blue were the staff. So it was easily identifiable who was new. So me and Alan felt a bit, um, I mean, it's difficult, isn't it? When you put in a situation like that, because other people are talking that know one another, you don't want to just go up and interrupt them and be like hi, I've arrived. So we sort of kept ourselves ourselves a little bit and then we were talking to the reps and the staff and then this lovely couple came over and they started speaking to us and we sort of gravitated to them most of the weekend because they'd been before, they knew lots of people and they were just lovely. I really, really enjoyed their company.

Steph:

So we attended the welcome drinks, then we went to the room and that evening there was a barbecue that was put on for everybody. Now I thought there'd be like maximum 30 people, maybe 40. There was actually 190 people there and when we arrived for the barbecue I couldn't believe my eyes. There were so many people and they had these really long tables and by the end of this this night we were flagging we'd been on, we were on about 20 hours being awake with the flights and everything. I was so tired I just thought we've got a busy day tomorrow. Like the itinerary was packed, so we headed off back to the room.

Steph:

Now the next day we had our catamaran cruise. We got a choice of activities to choose from and obviously I love, love, love, love being at the, the beach, being in the ocean. So we chose a catamaran cruise. It was great and recognized a few people from the night before, which was nice, and then Alan's rep was actually on the cruise as well. Now, one thing that I was worried about from the weekend was like me and Alan are quite introverted people and we do get drained from socialising and I was really concerned after this weekend with a packed itinerary, that I'd feel really drained. But what I actually learned was, when I enjoy chatting with people and meeting these interesting people and finding out their stories and what they do and like where they're from, I learned something new about myself and that was that not only does the being on the ocean bring me so much peace, but I'm not drained. I wasn't drained by the end of it. Um, which was, it was it actually came as a bit of a surprise to me because I really did think that I would find it difficult. So we came off the cruise, we went to the beach, we walked around the marina, we had some lunch and then we headed back to the hotel to get ready for the black and white party.

Steph:

Now, this was a big part of the weekend. It was like cocktail dresses. Everyone was really done up and I'd bought a new black dress and I was wearing my white wedges. So we got there. We had the welcome drinks. Well, the plan was to get there for the welcome drinks, which was seven till eight.

Steph:

We actually left our room at 25 past seven and then I just I can't believe this has happened. So I got completely ready and I was like I feel amazing, it's going to be a fantastic night, I can't wait for this. And we'd got about 10 steps out of the room and I felt a ping and I was like no, no, no, no, no, no. And I looked down and my wedge the strap had come off the sole and I couldn't walk in it because it wasn't holding my foot in. So we tend to have some sort of happening I call it a happening when things like this occur. So it wasn't holding my foot in. I was like Alan, we need to go back to the room. You know, this is this is just not happening right now.

Steph:

So we got back to the room, got the sewing kit. I don't know if anyone listening has tried to sew through a cork base of a wedge and get the strap back in and secure. It was very difficult. So I just said to Alan I just need this to last for the professional photo, because before you enter you've got a professional photo. So I did consider changing into flip-flops, but it just ruined the look and I was like I cannot and I will not walk into this dinner party in flip-flops. It's just not happening.

Steph:

So, me and Alan, we actually arrived at the the welcome drinks at 10 to 8. At this point we fixed the wedge to the point where it was hanging on um. So Alan said to me you're just gonna have to go barefoot, you're gonna, we'll go. You go barefoot, you'll stop around the corner and then, before we get to the photographer, you know you can just put them on. So that's what happened.

Steph:

And then Alan's rep was actually the lady that was directing people with the photography, and then we were the last ones in the queue, obviously after this saga. So we had the photo done and then walking down the steps there was three steps and I got to the bottom of them and again ping, my other wedge, the wedge that was intact. The same thing happened and it it pinged off the sole and I was like, are you kidding me? Like I cannot? I cannot believe this is happening.

Steph:

Now, from doing the sewing in the room to try and secure my other wedge, there was a safety pin. So we actually Alan had that in his pocket just in case the first wedge that broke like broke again. So I sat down and I was just thinking I cannot believe this is happening. So the rep came over. She's like are you okay? And I said no. I was like this is the reason why we're late. Look at the state of these shoes. I've sewn this one. This one's now gone. I've got a safety pin through it. They are literally hanging on by a thread and I can't dance in these like I just need to be at the table. So Alan was laughing. He was like I don't know why these sort of things happen to you, and I was like me neither.

Steph:

So basically, what happened on previous holidays was we went to Paris for a weekend a few weekends before Portugal. That was for a Pokemon event, because we were really into Pokemon, and we'd stopped at a shop in the morning before we went to this event for Pokemon and I'd put sun cream on. Now we use P20, because we both burn really badly actually. So P20 makes that not happen and it's quite like it stays on all day. But you know it's on your skin. So I had sun cream that morning, didn't think anything of it, went to the shop and I was sat on a bench eating breakfast and I didn't realise that the the shopping bag that I had was leaning on my leg.

Steph:

So we were walking to the park and Alan said to me what the hell is that pointing at my leg? My first thought was, oh God, no, it's some sort of bug. But I didn't realise that the bag, because it was so hot there, the writing on the bag had imprinted itself onto my thigh. So I was walking around with this bag imprint on my leg, and I was like, oh my God, get me the wet wipes. I need the wet wipes. So he was laughing at that.

Steph:

And then, prior to that, we'd been on holiday a couple of years ago to Italy and we was in a bar and again wearing p20, and I crossed my legs and when you cross your legs, you know my knee was touching the leg of the table. Didn't think anything of it, because why would you? And when we were walking back to the hotel, I noticed that my knee was blue and what had happened was that the leg of the table was blue and the paint had come off and stuck to, stuck to my leg, and I had blue knees and I was just like, oh, why did like? This doesn't happen to Alan, this always happens to me. So anyway, back to Portugal.

Steph:

The rep, Michelle, saved the day. She she said to me originally she's like, what size are you? We weren't the same size feet. She was like, oh, I was gonna give you some of my shoes. But she said to me, we've got a suitcase full of slippers behind the DJ. So she said, when we get in, I'm on your table anyway, we will get you the first pair of slippers and you can just put them on. So I ended up attending this posh cocktail party in slippers. I had women coming up to me asking where I got them from because they wanted a pair, and it was a really, really good night. I had like, apart from the fiasco that that preceded it with the shoes, it was like I can't explain what a good time we had and, considering that we didn't know anybody when we went, we met some fantastic people. We met some people that like I'm still, I still think about it now, which is why I wanted to talk about celebrating our successes this episode.

Steph:

So, a few weeks after Portugal, I had my graduation and I felt, when they put the gown on like I'd worked so hard to get to graduation. I'd put my life pretty much on hold, came out of um, came out of Covid redundant, went back into education, decided I wanted to do something more. So it's been a long time coming graduation and I had the gown on and I felt really swishy and I was swishing about everywhere in the gown and I loved it and I went on the stage and a lot of people were feeling really nervous. There was quite a lot of anxiety around oh gosh, I don't want to trip up on the stage and all of that. And nobody tripped up, thankfully. But I kind of felt the opposite. I felt like I deserve to be here, I've earned my space, I've put the work in. This is the end of a cycle now for me and going on to whatever is coming next. And I was really lucky actually, because one of my friends at university um, she was just taking her sister. Now you only got two guest tickets and I was quite sad about it really, because I wanted my mum there, my brother and Alan and I had to sit down and basically ask them which one of you don't want to be in the room, even though I wanted all three of them there, but my friend at university said well, I'm only taking my sister, so if you want my ticket, you know you can have all three of your guests there. So it worked out wonderfully and it was an amazing day. So I was sat there and I was thinking this would be a great podcast episode about why celebrating wins matter, whether they're large wins or they're small wins.

Steph:

So, first off, for celebrating our wins, the psychological benefits are that it boosts our motivation, it reinforces positive behaviour and it builds our confidence. From a neuroscience angle, dopamine is released when we acknowledge our achievements, no matter how big or small. So again, it has a positive effect on the body and then a positive effect on how you feel. So there are types of wins that are worth celebrating. So there's external wins, internal wins, big, small, micro wins. So micro wins are the ones that seem too small to matter, but they actually mean everything because they're worth celebrating and they're a part of your growth as a person. The big wins are the ones that other people see, but sometimes the biggest wins are the ones that nobody sees, and that's okay because you see them. So, for example, a small win can be saying no when you usually say yes, taking a break without feeling guilty, choosing not to engage in negative self talk, drinking enough water for the day, finishing a task that you've been putting off, setting a boundary with somebody, reaching out to a friend that you've lost touch with. And some larger wins could be moving into a new home, paying off a significant debt, decluttering we love a declutter here, completing a degree, repairing a broken relationship or even ending a toxic one. So, whether your win is small, such as getting out of bed on a tough day or launching your dream business, both are valid and both are worth celebrating.

Steph:

Recently, I did a live on Instagram for the very first time with a lovely lady called Corrina Morris from Guiding Stars F eng Shui. She came on the podcast and we did a live to discuss the impact that Feng Shui has had on my life and a little bit of a life update with it, and I'd never done it before and in my head it was huge, but I've been. Nobody else knew that for me. No one else knew that I hadn't done an Instagram live before and it was a big thing for me to put my face out there, and that's one thing that I've been learning along the way is that nobody else knew that that was such a big thing for me and looking back watching it, I don't think you can tell either, but it was, and for me that was such a win. It was a personal win because it was huge. It was huge in my head. I'd never done it before. I was a bit scared about putting my face out there on video, but I did it and I really enjoyed it.

Steph:

So when we talk about wins, we need to keep track of them, whether they're the small wins or the big wins. So a number of ways you can do this is create a win jar. So every week or every day you can put a little note in a jar about your mini win or big win for that day or week. You can write it on your phone notes. You can text a trusted friend. I have a couple of friends that we voice note and we just share what's happened in the day, good or bad, and it's really nice to have that to bounce off because it just keeps you grounded and they're also able to point out to me well, actually that was a huge win, like with the Instagram live that I did. One of my friends said to me like that is huge for you, that is so big. And I was like I know, and I did it and it was lovely, so you could write down. I don't know, maybe you won on the lottery. You've got a new job, you've had a house move, a free coffee, you've finally gone to the group that you've been wanting to go to.

Steph:

So the other thing I wanted to mention with celebrating our wins is that sometimes we can deal with guilt or shame and, let's be real, sometimes we feel weird about celebrating things. It can feel strange, especially if it's new to you and we think it's not a big deal, or other people have done more, other people have done better. But one thing I say to you, if you're having them thoughts, is that comparison is a thief of joy. Your journey is yours and if it's mattered to you, if it's stretched you, if it's challenged you, if it's changed you, it's worth honoring. And bottom line is, if it matters to you, it matters. So let's stop downplaying our growth, let's stop waiting for permission to be proud and listen to your own narrative. So it's not about bragging. The people that are around you, that support you, will celebrate your success with you and not dim you down. They won't dim your shine. They won't become competitive.

Steph:

One of my previous podcast guests, Anna, came on to talk about the joy of friendship and one thing that she said was "water the flowers, not the weeds, in your life. So I'd say to you, if you have people that are around you that you don't feel supported by, or that do become competitive when you achieve something for yourself, then maybe they're a weed and that you should focus on the flowers more in your life. So confide in the people that you trust. Keep yourself accountable for future goals and competition and jealousy it doesn't get you ahead. So cheering on other people doesn't diminish what can happen for you. You can fill up other people's cups and use it as inspiration, because everybody's paths are completely different from yours. They can be your motivator, and someone who's achieved what you're aiming for or what you're working towards will not judge you for trying.

Steph:

What I've learned from doing the podcast is when I've reached out to other podcasters. They are so supportive and they understand the work that goes behind podcasting. And not only that the self-growth and the confidence that you build on like you don't start with perfection. You know you have to start from a place of this is what I want to do and I'm going to try. I'm going to try my very best to do it.

Steph:

So judgment, I find, comes from people who aren't doing what you're doing. They can't relate, they do want to dim your shine or they want to keep you small. So if you have your trusted circle, listen to them. Like the girls that I've voice note, my friends that have been there from the very beginning of this podcasting journey and I've seen my growth and I've seen my confidence grow with it. They're the girls that I trust and I can go to them and say, look, I'm feeling this way and they'll remind me. They will keep me on track. You know they're there to. Your trusted circle will pick you up when you have their moments of self-doubt, which is completely normal.

Steph:

But we need to remind ourselves as well of the wins, because they're there and they deserve to be acknowledged. Like I love seeing people shine, whether I know them or if they're a complete stranger, we were in Manchester a few weeks ago and there was a young kid singing and his family were watching him and I just felt like good for you. You know you've got the the drive and the ambition to go out to sing in Manchester and because of my singing background as well, I know how hard that can be and the self-doubt that comes in with that as well. And I just he must have been. I don't know, he was a young teenager, but I just thought that is amazing, like good for you. S o you can inspire others. You can plant a seed in someone's head without even knowing. You can relight a spark in somebody without knowing, so whether the guilt or shame does creep in when you are celebrating your wins, I urge you to remember the journey is yours and, like I said before, if it matters to you, it matters. Your journey is worth honouring. Every step forwards that you make is a win. So today I want you to take a moment, celebrate you, celebrate what you want to see more of. Yes please, more thank you, as we say, and think of one win from the past week. It doesn't matter how big or small it is. Write it down, say it out loud, share it with somebody and, if you want, dm me, tag me at Tranquil Topics. I'd love to celebrate with you. Because you're doing better than you think, and every win counts.

Steph:

I'm going to finish this podcast by saying that, no matter what thoughts you have, do something with them. You can open your world up by taking one step at a time, and what you put out there creates opportunities, as I have found out firsthand from this podcast. The people it's brought into my life, the experiences it's brought into my life are things that I couldn't have planned for. So just make sure that the thoughts you have, the dreams you have, the ambition within you, do something with it. Every win counts, and if this episode has resonated with you, please do share it with somebody who needs a reminder to celebrate themselves too, and I will see you very soon. Bye.

Steph:

Thank you so much for listening. You can follow me on Instagram at Tranquil Topics, and if you have enjoyed this episode, please do leave a rating or review, as it will help me to reach more people, and I'll be back in two weeks time with another episode. Bye.