Riding The Waves Of Uncertainty

When life gets loud with uncertainty, it’s easy to let other people’s opinions drown out your own. This episode starts with a personal update on the job hunt after graduating uni and what it’s really like to face a wall of rejections, why a jobs fair left me stunned, and how careless words can puncture confidence if we let it. I share the moment I remembered an old “you’ll never get it” verdict from a recruiter — and how I landed that office manager role anyway — because gatekeepers don’t decide your value, they only guess from a distance.

We dig into the mindset shift that changed everything: rejection as redirection. Instead of scrambling from fear, I paused to notice the freedom I actually have and the space it gives me to explore work that aligns with my passions and interests. You’ll hear a story inspired by Lisa Kudrow’s early career setbacks (link below), proof that closed doors set up better ones. Then we get practical with tools to steady the unknown.

Follow this link for Lisa Kudrow's speech as mentioned on the episode.

If you’re navigating career change, graduate job searches, or any season of not-knowing, this conversation will help you protect your self-worth and move forward with simple, doable actions. You’re more than your past roles, more than anyone’s opinion, and closer than you think to a room that fits you. It's okay to want more for yourself and you just have to trust the process.

Press play, then share this with someone who needs a lift today. If the episode helps, subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what’s one belief you’re reframing right now?

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Chapters

• 0:00 Return After Loss
• 0:42 Living With Uncertainty
• 0:59 Post-Uni Job Search Reality
• 2:29 Jobs Fairs And Mixed Signals
• 4:35 Damaging Advice And Self-Worth
• 6:34 Proving Gatekeepers Wrong
• 9:12 Rejection As Redirection
• 11:41 Stories Of Setbacks Fueling Success
• 12:55 Practical Ways To Face Uncertainty
• 19:10 Closing Reflections And Support

Transcript

Steph: 0:06

Hello, welcome back to Tranquil Topics. I'm your host Steph. I hope you're well. Thank you for coming back and joining me. You may have noticed that I've had some time off the podcast recently. We had an unexpected bereavement in the family, and out of respect I decided that I would not release episodes when they were due to go out. It was a difficult time for the family, however, we are back now and I need to give you a life update because that is the reason for this episode on dealing with uncertainty.

Steph: 0:44

It's been a very difficult few weeks for me personally, and a lot has come to my attention basically that I feel that I just needed to cover in an episode. So I've been well and truly in the job search phase since graduating uni. Um it's been very eye-opening for me, and I sort of felt that I didn't really know which direction to go in after graduating, and I was lucky that I've also had a working background before I went to uni because I thought I genuinely thought it would be a breeze coming out and getting a job, but I feel that the universe is universing.

Steph: 1:38

Basically, I've been applying for graduate schemes, jobs, and I've been getting rejection after rejection after rejection, knockbacks coming from all angles, and I just it was a lot to deal with, and the reason for the episode today with dealing with uncertainty is because that is my reality currently, and a couple of things have really stood out to me over the past few weeks that I wanted to talk about, so you know I've never been one of them people that just knew as a child that they wanted to be a doctor, for example, and then they went down that path, and that's what they've done. That has never happened for me, um, but I did know that I wanted to go to uni and get a degree, and that's what I've done.

Steph: 2:35

So, because the job applications and graduate schemes they started dinting my confidence, to be honest. It was really difficult, you know, it takes a lot of resilience, and I know a lot of other people would be in my exact same situation. So I decided to go to a jobs fair. I'd never been to one before, but I thought, you know, I'm not gonna leave any stone unturned here, let's just see what's there, who I meet, there may be some opportunities that come up. So I went to the Trafford Centre, and it was like a it was a really big jobs fair, and I spoke to quite a few people. They had this thing where you know they scan your QR code and they get your CV. So I was talking to this lady and I thought, look, yeah, this this sounds great, and she said, you know, scan the QR code, check us out, and the jobs will be on this page. So when I got home, I opened all the tabs on my phone and I was looking through them. This one in particular that stood out to me was not there, it was not on the job website. Um, and I just sort of sat back and I was thinking, you know, I've had a lot of rejections, and I'm thinking, right, what is this redirecting me towards? What is the purpose of this? And apart from feeling disappointed, um, I did leave leave that and I thought, you know, I'll just carry on as I was.

Steph: 4:09

But then another jobs fair came up, and I thought, do you know what? Why not? So went to the second jobs fair, and you can probably tell from my voice and my sigh that it wasn't productive really. There was a woman that was there, and she was lovely, and she said, you know, I think you need to speak to this stand. So I went over, she gave me a little introduction, and then this woman said to me, You know, why are you here? and I said, well, I don't fall into a lot of the categories here, like a lot of them were aimed at under 24-year-olds. So I said to her, you know, I'm in my 30s, I've just graduated uni, I've got a working background, I'm just here to see if there's any opportunities and if you have any advice. And she said to me, well, I don't know why you've been brought to me because of the the age range, so I was thinking, brilliant, um, but she said, you know, I'll I'll have a conversation with you, it's fine. But then she said to me, you know, you have to realise you have to start at the bottom, you have to take roles that you know might not be suited to you. And I was thinking, no, no, that is so wrong. I thought, well, you're just ignoring the person that's in front of you, you're ignoring all those transferable skills, all that life experience, and it really made me think how many people are told this, and essentially that they're worth a certain value, and how many people take that on consciously or even subconsciously, and then believe it. Like in the moment, I was listening to her words, and I was thinking, this is so damaging, and I'm just so grateful that down this road that I've been on of self-development and trying to better my life, that I am very aware of words and people and how they can influence you, and some people aren't, and I thought, you know, this can affect somebody's self-belief, the self-esteem, it can affect the actions that they take or even don't take because of what somebody said to them, and I just felt like if you count yourself out of something before you even apply to it, you will never know, and you have to back yourself.

Steph: 6:34

So I left that fair quite stunned actually, and it reminded me of a time when it must have been about 10 years ago now, maybe more, when I was looking for a job. I think I've mentioned on the podcast before that I worked in the NHS and then I moved to construction. When I came to applying for jobs when I was coming to the end of working in the NHS, I had a meeting with a recruitment firm in Manchester, and I remember that they categorically said to me, word for word, we wouldn't put you forward for an office manager role because you would never get it. And I left that building thinking, watch me. I was so disappointed in them. You know, you go to a recruitment firm for help, for their contacts, for them to see your skills and all of all of it. And I thought, you know, they've not seen me as a person, they've not seen what I'm capable of. And they only saw me for my past experience, not for the person that I am, not for my abilities, not for my drive, my ambition. They actively told me to my face that I would never get an office management role. So fast forward a few weeks and I went for an interview for an office manager role that I landed myself, and the company, you know, they saw me as a person and they offered me the role, and I worked there quite happily for five years until Covid hit, then I was made redundant.

Steph: 8:12

So I've been through times of uncertainty before, but I feel that the one I'm in now is very loud, it's a very loud uncertainty. And after the job fair, I was sad because I thought, you know, how many other people today have been told that and have taken it home and won't reach for their goals or won't follow their passions because somebody has told them that it just won't happen. And other people's words can be very dangerous, and I just wanted to say like please don't ever take on anybody else's words as fact about yourself, don't ever let somebody label you with a certain value, and don't let anybody else's opinions stop you from pursuing your own goals and your own dreams. We can't let anybody else tell us what we are capable of because at the end of the day they don't know, they have no idea that is within us, and you're capable of so so much and achieving all that you want to achieve, and there's a quote that sprang to mind which goes, You have the power to not let other people's words define you. And I was reminded about this, like I had a thundering realisation of that quote when I walked out of that building, and where I'm at at the moment, post-uni, Alan said to me, Maybe you're getting these rejections because you're coming from a place of fear and that you you just want a job, and I was like, Yeah, maybe I am. And he said to me, Why don't you just stop and enjoy where you are in life at the moment, and that you currently have freedom, use it to do what you want, and follow your passion. And I was like, I can't believe I didn't think of that myself, but I'm sure you'll be aware in the moment sometimes you don't see things for what they are, and you don't see that all the opportunities that are available. So this uncertainty for me has been days and weeks of a mixture of feeling hope and anxiety. It's been days of hard work. You know, the unknown is an incredibly scary place to be, and I'm just trying to ride the waves, I'm trying to enjoy the journey now because I do have full faith that what is meant for me it won't pass me by, and all these rejections that I've been receiving are acting as redirection to something better, something more, something that more than I could have planned for, and I do feel excited at the thought of somewhere on this planet are my future colleagues, and they're not aware that I'm going to come into their life. But new friendships will be made and a career will begin.

Steph: 11:40

I came across on YouTube a speech by Lisa Kudrow, and Lisa Kudrow played Phoebe from Friends, and she was talking about uncertainty, chance, rejection, and where it's led to great things. And she was saying that she was originally cast in the sitcom Frasier and that she was fired from that show. And she made a point of saying that it's not supposed to be easy, you know, you're supposed to have these moments of uncertainty about not knowing where your life is leading. But that when one door closes, another always opens, and I truly believe that. She said that that was what she told herself to keep going and keep going, and then she was casting friends, and the rest is history. Now you can watch this speech that she made on YouTube, um, I will link it in the show notes actually, but I think now where I am, it's okay to not know, but to have the courage to explore your interests, and it's a very, very brave place to be for you to accept the unknown, and I think you can act from a place of fear as I have been doing, but actually, when you release all that, opportunities come more willingly, I think.

Steph: 13:16

Now, if you're struggling to know, you know, you're in this uncertainty, and you're not maybe you're not sure what your interests are. Try and tune into your body, find out what your inner guidance system is telling you, or just try new things, you know. If you don't try, you'll never know. So for me, running helps me clear my head, but because I fell in this black hole of anxiety and sadness and fear of the future, that held me back, and I didn't want to go for a run, and that made me feel worse, and it was just a negative cycle that I was in. If there's something that you've abandoned, you've delayed, you've given up, maybe you've just cancelled it completely because of fear of judgment from other people, or maybe because you have received judgment, it's not even a fear, you know. Someone has said to you, you'll never be able to do that, you're not capable, I don't know, you can't draw, you can't sing, whatever the narrative has been for you. Don't conform to the negativity, like how dare they? How dare somebody minimise somebody else in that way and say what they can and can't do? It's very important to create that protective bubble around yourself, and like I said before, leaving that jobs fair for me was an absolute thundering realisation of this, which is why I wanted to talk about it today.

Steph: 15:01

So I do have some tips for dealing with uncertainty in your life. When it shows up, you might be in the same situation as me where it's happening for you right now. But we tend to come in phases in life, don't we? You know, things go up and in a positive way, then they come down, and when you're in the downslope, it can feel like an eternity. But uncertainty can show up in so many different forms and different situations that cause it as well.

Steph: 15:30

So, a few tips. So, number one, we first have to acknowledge the uncertainty, and pretending that everything is fine can increase the anxiety and it can increase the pressure that you put on yourself. And I've found people have been trying to help me by saying everything's gonna be fine and that's great, but that's not doing anything for me now, and in a way, it kind of feels like everything I've just said has been ignored because I'm not being met where I am, and I had that when my dad passed away, people were saying to me, like, Oh, he'll be fine, he'll come out, and he didn't, he passed away. And I think naming the uncertainty helps reduce its power, and the main point is to you know, we acknowledge the uncertainty and we don't ignore it.

Steph: 16:24

Point number two, be in the present moment. Uncertainty tends to pull us into the future. There's unhelpful thinking styles such as jumping to conclusions, fortune telling by trying to predict the future, mind reading where we start to imagine what other people are thinking, and it can cause us to magnify that situation that's happening and to catastrophise our thoughts by blowing things out of proportion, or even self-blame by taking responsibility for something that you've had no control over. Now you can use breath work, meditation, mindfulness, bringing back to the present moment. But if you just stop and take a breath, observe what are you thinking, what are you reacting to, and what are you feeling. Now at this point you can label if this is fact or opinion and hopefully be able to see a bigger picture forming.

Steph: 17:24

Then we need to focus on what we can control because there's no point trying to control things that are out of our control because it just won't happen. Now, journaling can help with this. You know, if you're one of those people that think a lot like myself, then getting it down on paper and actually seeing your thoughts on paper helps you break them down. What action can I take to feel more empowered? You know, you don't have to procrastinate, as that can make the feeling of uncertainty more powerful, which has happened with me not going for a run and wallowing in my own anxiety for the past few weeks. You can say, just for today I'm going to, and then for example, for me, just for today, I'm going to focus on my job search, I'm gonna go for a walk, I'm gonna write down how I'm feeling, I'm going to meditate, I'm going to do something creative or a hobby and put my time into something meaningful.

Steph: 18:23

Number four, reframe the narrative. Our thoughts shape our experience, and if you can change your internal dialogue to something positive to reflect growth and change, for example, rather than saying I failed, say I'm being redirected. I'm very aware of my thoughts as I'm actually reading The Secret at the moment by Rhonda Byrne, and she talks about how every thought is a real thing and has power behind it. So I'm not going to be beaten down by these rejections, i'm saying thank you, thank you for clearing my path for something even better to come into my life.

Steph: 19:01

And number five, stay connected. Speak to people you trust, speak to people who may be going through the same thing or have experienced something similar to yourself. Uncertainty can feel very lonely and isolating, and it doesn't have to be. That's one thing that I've been aware of as well recently. I've been cancelling on people, and I've just not had that light inside me because of all the things that are happening around me, and it's just like a a downward spiral. So if you can be aware of that and catch yourself and speak speak out and speak to people you trust, you never know what someone else has been through that they might be able to say, I see you, I see where you're at. They might know somebody who can help you. So please don't conform to the feeling of loneliness and isolation because it doesn't have to be that way. So many people will help you.

Steph: 20:09

And then finally, transformation. These phases of uncertainty are your transformation. Growth feels like discomfort. You are not meant to stay in the same place forever, and you can reflect on previous times in your life as I have done when uncertainty has happened and it's arose in what that experience was and how did you grow from that? What did you learn from that period of time? And what did you learn about yourself? Maybe you're more resilient than you gave yourself credit for. Maybe you're more determined or more motivated than you thought you were.

Steph: 20:45

I know this episode was a little bit more personal, but I really hope it's offered you something meaningful. You know, we talked about how powerful words can be and how important it is to protect your self-worth and to not let anybody else define you. You are more than your past experiences, you are more than someone else's opinion, and you are absolutely capable of achieving whatever you set your heart on. Uncertainty can feel incredibly overwhelming, but it's also a place where our transformation begins. And if you're in that space right now, I want to remind you acknowledge it, stay present, focus on what you can control, reframe your thoughts, stay connected, and trust that this discomfort is part of your growth.

Steph: 21:35

Until next time, please take care of yourself, please trust yourself, and if you're dealing with uncertainty right now, know that this phase will pass and one day you will look back and you'll see the bigger picture. I hope you've enjoyed this episode. Please do feel free to share it with a friend, family member, colleague who may be dealing with uncertainty. But until next time, have a great few weeks. Bye.

Steph: 22:05

Thank you so much for listening. You can follow me on Instagram at TranquilTopics, and if you have enjoyed this episode, please do leave a rating or review as it will help me to reach more people. And I'll be back in two weeks' time with another episode. Bye.