The Real Secret to Growth is Beyond Your To-Do List

Have you ever ended a busy day feeling strangely unfulfilled even when you checked everything off your to-do list? You’re not alone. In this soul-nourishing episode of The ARTwork of YOU, Lori Gouhin dives deep into the overlooked connection between productivity, identity, and intentional living.

What if the real shift doesn’t come from doing more, but from being more aligned?

Lori introduces a transformative practice that’s been reshaping her own life and the lives of her coaching clients: the “To-Be List.” More than just another mindset tool, this approach helps you connect with the version of yourself you’re trying to grow into not just the one reacting to the chaos of the day.

Episode Highlights:

➤ Why traditional to-do lists keep you busy but disconnected
➤ The subtle ways your identity influences your daily habits and decision-making
➤ How to create a simple but powerful To-Be List that supports your personal & professional growth

➤ Specific examples of identity-based intentions you can try today
➤ What it really means to lead with intention instead of obligation

Whether you're a high-achiever constantly chasing the next goal, or someone who craves more meaning and presence in your day-to-day life, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate invitation to realign.

Looking to accelerate your growth?

Apply now to work with Lori one-on-one: https://www.TheARTworkofYOU.com

Thank you for sharing your time with me and remember to show up in your life like the masterpiece you are because YOU are the ARTwork!!!

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Transcript

Lori Gouhin: [00:00:00] You start the day feeling clear, and then you check your phone, you get pulled into someone else's problem. Maybe you start scrolling or. You know, you lose an hour doing something that wasn't even on your list to begin with, and just like that, the way that you meant to show up gets pushed to the side. . Hello my friends. I am so glad that you are here with me today because today I want to talk about to-do lists. And I don't know if it's because it's summer and time just seems to be moving so [00:01:00] quickly, but I've been thinking a lot about how much time we spend focused on what we need to get done, 

And don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with lists because I like being organized and I like knowing what I need to get done. But sometimes even when I've checked everything off of my list, I still feel a little off. It's like the day was full, but not necessarily meaningful. And what I've realized is that most to-do lists, they keep things moving, but they don't ask anything more of us.

And so recently I started asking myself a different question, not what do I need to get done today, but who do I want to be today? And that question really changes a lot. It changes the energy behind the choices that I make and the way that I show up for people and even how I talk to myself. So in this episode, I wanna talk about the idea of a to be list, what it is, how it works, and why it might be [00:02:00] helpful for you if you've been feeling a little disconnected from your own progress in life or in business.

And again to-do lists definitely have their place. They keep things from falling through the cracks. They help you manage what's urgent. They're helpful for things like groceries, deadlines, or random stuff that you don't wanna forget about. But when it comes to the stuff that actually shapes your life, Your relationships, your work, how you carry yourself to do lists don't really touch on that or help you prioritize what's important in the way that you do things, you can get everything done on your list and still feel like you're nowhere closer to who you actually want to be, if that makes sense. And that's the part that started bothering me. I'd look back on a productive day or a productive week full of, you know, everything's crossed off the list, but still feel somewhat disconnected.

And not because I didn't do enough, but because none of it felt like it came [00:03:00] from the version of me that I'm trying to grow into. Again, these to-do lists are great for staying on track, but they're not great for checking in with yourself. They don't ask if your actions match your intentions, and sometimes staying busy is just another way, I would say of staying stuck.

So here's what I started doing. Instead of just making a to-do list in the morning, I started writing a to be list right next to it. Nothing extravagant. Just a short list of the kind of person I want to be while I move through my day. Not goals, not tasks, just reminders to myself about how I want to show up.

So it could be something like be someone who keeps her word to herself, or be someone who listens without jumping in. Be someone who doesn't worry, be someone who finishes what she starts, or maybe be someone who doesn't need to prove anything to anyone today. And I'm not talking about being perfect, it's [00:04:00] more about being intentional because how I am while I do something, affects the result. I would say just as much as the action itself.

And I've noticed that even on the days when everything gets thrown off because we all have days like that where things just don't go as planned. Something maybe takes longer, someone needs something unexpected from you. Maybe you have an energy dip in the afternoon and you wanna take a nap.

 I've noticed that if I stayed true to my to be list, that the day still feels meaningful and like I've accomplished something. It's a way to stay rooted in the version of me that I'm growing into. Not just reacting to the day, but choosing how I want to show up in it.

And honestly, writing it down makes a difference because otherwise those intentions, they can get buried under everything else.

You start the day feeling clear, and then you check your phone, you get pulled into someone else's problem. Maybe you start scrolling or. You know, you lose an [00:05:00] hour doing something that wasn't even on your list to begin with, and just like that, the way that you meant to show up gets pushed to the side. To be list brings you back to yourself. It holds you to a standard that's not external. No one else sees it. You're not crossing anything off or doing anything for anyone. It's just a quiet commitment to live your day with more self-awareness. And even if nothing dramatic happens, you feel the shift because you're no longer just measuring your day by what got done. But by how you moved through it, by how aligned you felt by whether you showed up like the person you want to be, not the one you've been defaulting to all this time. And one of the biggest shifts that I've made, especially in the last few years is realizing that the version of me, I think I am, is usually driving the actions I take.

Even in the small stuff. So for example, if I'm identifying as someone who's [00:06:00] behind, I'll act like someone who's scrambling and trying to catch up. Or if I'm identifying as someone who's not ready, I will hesitate and I will second guess my decisions. And if I'm identifying as someone who's capable and calm and focused, somehow all of my actions seem to fall into the right place. And so the version of you that's doing the work is just as important as the work itself.

In most people, they try to change their actions without ever questioning the identity those actions are coming from. That's why your actions often don't stick cause you can force yourself into new habits, but if you still see yourself as the same, overwhelmed, reactive, or inconsistent person, you eventually default back

to that. And to me, that's why this idea of a to be list matters. It's not a mindset hack. It's literally a pattern interruption. It pulls your attention away from checking off the boxes, and it reminds you to anchor into [00:07:00] identity first. 'cause when you shift how you see yourself even slightly, your decisions start to reflect that shift.

And not just in big life choices, but everyday things like how you speak to people, how you show up to your work, how you respond when things don't go your way, you start filtering your actions through a different lens and you don't need as much willpower because you're not constantly struggling with misalignment.

And even on the days when it's hard, when you're tired or triggered or thrown off, it gives you something steady to return to. A version of yourself that isn't built on outcomes, but on intention. And so the real growth starts not in doing more, but in deciding who you are going to be in the middle of all of it.

And there's no template for this. You don't need a special journal or a planner. You don't need to overthink it, but if you want your to be list to actually create a shift in how you go through your day. Here's what I have found is [00:08:00] helpful. Keep it short. I usually write down no more than three things. Not qualities I wish I had someday, but ways of being that I wanna practice today.

So to be fearless or to be magnetic, that's too abstract and vague, nothing like that. I'll write things like be someone who stays focused until noon. Be someone who responds, not reacts. Be someone who lets things be easy. be someone who doesn't rush her decisions just to be done. Be someone who prioritizes her health and fitness.

So in other words, specific enough that I know when I'm honoring it. And when I'm not. And it's okay if some of them repeat day after day. In fact, that can be a sign that you need work in that area. Because some ways of being really take practice. They need that repetition. I also recommend writing your to-be list before you write your to-do list That way it [00:09:00] frames the day. It sets the tone. Because it's one thing to say. I wanna grow my business, but it's another thing to say today, I want to be someone who shows up for her goals. Even when she's uncertain.

 that changes the way you send the email. That changes the way you approach your next project. And if you're the kind of person who already has a lot of structure in place, like you use planners and you have a schedule and you have certain systems, this just might be the missing piece that will move you forward.

It's what makes the doing feel like it's coming from a deeper place, not just running on autopilot. And at the end of the day, it's not about writing the perfect list, it's about using it as a way to pay attention and to create self-awareness, to notice the difference between getting through your day and actually showing up in it.

 Most of the shifts that matter, they don't come with a big moment. there's no applause for being more present. And no one gives you a gold star [00:10:00] for choosing to pause instead of react. And yet those choices are the ones that shape who you become because the truth is, at least in my opinion, your identity isn't built by what you say you value.

 It's built by who you actually show up as, especially when no one else is paying attention. And the to be list is a way of practicing. It helps you notice how often you slip back into old habits that don't match the version you say you want to be, not as a way to judge yourself, But as a way to course correct and get back on track and over time that does change things. As I said before, you stop needing to try harder because you're not constantly working against yourself. You don't have to hype yourself up with some motivational quote in the morning. You just show up as someone who does what she said she would do, because that's who you are becoming.

And that version of you, she just moves through the day differently, clearer, [00:11:00] calmer, more connected to what actually matters. And that's what this is really all about. Becoming the person that your future self will be proud of, proud of who you practiced being, even when it was hard, and even when you didn't create immediate results.

And so to wrap it up, you do not need to throw out your routine. You don't need to stop being productive or anything like that. But you might need to ask yourself some different questions, like, who am I practicing being today? And are my actions actually helping me become that person? And if not, then maybe it's time to try a to be list.

 Keep it simple. Write it down, check in with it maybe halfway through the day, see how it feels. When your focus shifts from just getting things done to showing up with more intention. And if you've been doing all the right things, but still feel disconnected from yourself or your goals. That's exactly the kind of thing I help my clients figure out.

 We don't [00:12:00] just talk about productivity or planning. We look at how your identity, mindset, and patterns are shaping your actions And how to align them in a way that actually works for your life. If that sounds like something you're ready for, you can learn more about working with me one-on-one at theartworkofyou.com or by reaching out to me directly.

I'd love to support you in becoming the person you already know you're capable of being,