The Truth Behind “I Don’t Know”: Stop Ignoring Your Intuition

In this episode of The ARTwork of YOU, host Lori Gouhin explains the hidden cost of constantly saying, “I don’t know.”

If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next move this episode is for you. Lori unpacks the real reasons why we default to indecision and how that simple phrase robs us of our clarity, confidence, and ability to move forward.

You’ll discover how to shift from confusion to conscious choice by asking a more powerful question: “What if I did know?”

This mindset shift isn’t just empowering, it's practical. Lori walks you through actionable strategies to build self-trust, reconnect with your inner knowing, and make aligned decisions in both everyday moments and major life transitions.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

➤ Why we hide behind “I don’t know” (and how it sabotages self-growth)

➤ The emotional and energetic cost of chronic indecision

➤ How to access inner clarity using simple mindset shifts

➤ A practical tool to override doubt and trust your instincts

➤ How to strengthen your decision-making muscles over time

Whether you're navigating personal growth, career decisions, or inner transformation, this episode will help you reclaim your voice and take aligned action.

Tune in now to find clarity, confidence, and the courage to choose You!

Looking to accelerate your growth?

Apply now to work with Lori one-on-one: https://www.TheARTworkofYOU.com

Thank you for sharing your time with me and remember to show up in your life like the masterpiece you are because YOU are the ARTwork!!!

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Transcript

Lori Gouhin: [00:00:00] Most of us don't realize how often we override our own clarity. The first thought that comes up, that immediate pull or answer that kind of flashes in your brain before you start overanalyzing, that's often your truth. Hello my friends. I . am so glad that you are here with me today because today I wanna talk about something that I hear all of the time. My guess is that you hear it a lot as well, and that you most likely also say it a lot because I know that [00:01:00] I often say it more than I should, and that is saying, I don't know.

 And I would say it's often said when people talk about what they want, what they wanna do next, maybe what to change, what to keep, whether to stay or to go. And also in everyday situations. The default response is often, I don't know. And believe me, I'm not judging because as I said, I say it too, but if you know me, you know that for years now, whenever someone says it to me, I respond.

But what if you did know? What would you say? And I usually have to ask it twice because the default is usually. For the person to repeat, I don't know. But on the second go around, I would say nine times out of 10, they answer. They say the thing that they were thinking or that they were avoiding saying, or doubting, or too scared to admit.

And then the whole conversation [00:02:00] shifts because saying, I don't know, is rarely a true statement from my experience. It's usually a substitute for. I don't wanna feel the uncomfortable feeling of knowing or something like that. And so today we're going to talk about what that phrase actually means and why we use it and how to stop giving your power away every time you say it.

So let's talk about it. Why do we default to, I don't know, when something really matters to us. Most of the time, it's not that we literally don't know, it's that we don't want to say the thing we do know, because once it's out in the open, we might actually have to do something about it.

And I don't know, buys us more time. It keeps things vague and uncommitted, and it's an easy comfort zone, I would say, when we're scared of choosing wrong or being judged or facing the truth. And on the surface it can even look responsible because [00:03:00] you might say something like, I just want to make the right decision, or I'm weighing all my options.

 But the truth is stalling does not usually lead to clarity. It more often than not leads to confusion, fatigue. It would be like me standing in front of a canvas holding the paintbrush and saying, I don't know where to start for hours on end. Eventually the energy to paint would just drain out of me entirely, and then it feels even harder to begin.

And the same thing happens in life. Every time you say, I don't know, you're reinforcing the idea that the answer lives somewhere out there, that someone else might have it, and that you are not ready yet. But deep down, you probably do have a gut sense. You just haven't created the space or the courage to say it out loud yet.

And so saying, I don't know, it might feel harmless, like you're being honest or just not ready yet. It actually has a [00:04:00] cost. It keeps you circling instead of choosing, and it creates this foggy loop where you're constantly thinking about the same question but never answering it. And that's exhausting.

You might be staying busy reading books, talking to people, making lists, journaling about it, but nothing really moves forward because there's no decision and no clarity. And here's the thing. This doesn't just show up in big decisions or big life choices. It shows up in small everyday stuff too. like when someone asks you what restaurant you want to go to in your automatic responses, I don't know, wherever you want, or you keep staring at your closet and saying something like, I don't know what to wear, or.

Maybe you're scrolling through Netflix for 45 minutes because you don't know what you are, quote unquote in the mood for. It seems like no big deal, but when your default response becomes not knowing, you start to lose touch with what you do [00:05:00] want and what you do think and what you do prefer. And when it comes time to make bigger decisions, say about your career or your relationships, or your next steps, you're out of practice.

I don't know, becomes your personality instead of just a once in a while. True statement. And that's the real cost. You delay your own clarity and you dilute your sense of self. Every time you say it, you hand over a little bit of your agency. And so this is why my favorite question to ask is, but what if you did know?

Because it cuts right through to the truth. Not because the person suddenly has a crystal clear answer, but because they stop trying to say the right thing and they start being honest. And when I ask it, most people pause for a second. And again, as I said before, it often takes two go arounds. I. But then they say something, something that they've been thinking but didn't wanna say out loud.

And whether or not that's the [00:06:00] final answer doesn't matter because at least it's real and it's movement towards clarity and deciding, and here's why it works, because your brain actually responds better when you give it a better question. I don't know. it's like a dead end, but. What if I did know?

That opens the door. It shifts you into access mode. It tells your brain, okay, find something. And again, more often than not, it does. So try it the next time that you're stuck or the next time you're in a conversation with someone else who is stuck, not with pressure, not like you have to come up with the perfect answer in 30 seconds, but just as an experiment, if I did know what I wanted right now, what might it be?

Most of us don't realize how often we override our own clarity. The first thought that comes up, that immediate pull or answer that kind of flashes in your brain before you start overanalyzing, that's often your truth.

But we've [00:07:00] been trained to second guess it. So instead of just saying, I wanna take the job, for example, or This relationship isn't working, or. I actually do know what I want. We go quiet, we stall, and then we say, I don't know. And again, not because we're confused, but because we often don't trust ourselves to follow through.

 And as I said, I definitely relate to it. I get it. But I also know it's something that you can change. Start by noticing what shows up first before your doubt kicks in, even if it feels inconvenient. And again, remember, I. The first impulse might not be your final answer or decision, but it's usually the starting point, and the more you practice honoring it or at least acknowledging it, the easier it becomes to move forward instead of staying stuck.

The way to trust yourself and move from saying, I don't know, starts by interrupting the habit. The next time you [00:08:00] catch yourself saying it, whether it's something small like what you want for dinner or something bigger, like whether to leave a job or pursue a new direction, just pause and ask. What if I did know?

Say it out loud, write it down. Give yourself a moment to answer, and even if it feels uncertain or incomplete. You can also try these questions. If I had to decide today, what would I choose?

What's the answer I'm scared to say out loud? And number three, if no one else's opinion mattered, what would I do? These questions, they don't guarantee a perfectly wrapped up answer by any means, but they shift your brain into clarity mode instead of avoidance mode. And over time, that builds self-trust.

You stop outsourcing your decisions and you stop asking for a million other opinions and you stop needing more research, more time, more proof. You just. Ask yourself, and then you listen [00:09:00] because most people don't need more time. They need more honesty with themselves. I don't know, might feel safe, but it keeps you in a holding pattern.

And think about it, you definitely weren't meant to live in limbo. You know more than you give yourself credit for It's just a habit that you've fallen into. And if it feels hard to access that knowing or to act on it, once you do. I can help you with that. I can help you get clear, get strategic, and stay accountable to what you already know you want.

So if you're ready to stop circling around the same decision and actually move forward, you can apply to work with me one-on-one, or you can also book a one-time strategy session. Just head to the link in the show notes or on my website and tell me what you're stuck on. [00:10:00]