Ep 95 The Power of Talking to Strangers: How Small Conversations Create Big Connections

In this episode of The ARTwork of YOU, host Lori Gouhin explores the unexpected power of conversations with strangers and how even a quick hello can spark joy, fresh perspectives, and impactful connections.

Lori shares a personal story where a casual chat at a bar turned into a friendship and even a musical partnership for her husband, showing how these seemingly small moments can change the course of our lives. She also reveals why talking to strangers feels liberating, how it helps us drop preconceived notions, and why these connections often leave us feeling more alive.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• How we often reveal our truest selves when talking to strangers
  
  
  
• Why initiating conversations can lead to meaningful friendships and opportunities
  
  
  
• Simple ways to move past shyness or awkwardness in daily interactions
  
  
  
• Practical conversation starter ideas you can use today
  
  
  

Start a conversation with a stranger at the coffee shop, on your walk, or while waiting in line and notice what unfolds. Remember: it’s not about saying the “perfect” thing, but about showing up open and willing to connect.

Thank you for sharing your time with me and remember to show up in your life like the masterpiece you are because YOU are the ARTwork!!!

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Transcript

Lori Gouhin: [00:00:00] Hello, my friends. I am so glad that you are here with me today because today I want to talk about conversations with strangers. Because sometimes, the most meaningful connections in our lives. They don't start with a plan, they start with a stranger. And my inspiration for this episode comes from [00:01:00] one of those moments.

It wasn't too long ago, I don't know, maybe six months or so ago, that my husband and I were sitting at the bar of a local restaurant having a cocktail, and a couple sat down next to us. I struck up conversation with the husband because he was sitting beside me and it was nothing outta the ordinary, just small talk at first, but when we found out we had a few things in common, especially the fact that both he and my husband are musicians, we decided to exchange information and then they went off to dinner.

They sat at a table, and honestly, I really didn't think much more about it other than that it was a great conversation, but the next morning he texted me and so I passed along my husband's contact information to him and within a week, I think actually that week they decided to play together, to practice.

 And then they decided, I think from that day on that they were going to form a duo and they have been playing together, practicing together every week and now [00:02:00] getting paid gigs. And best of all, he and his wife have become genuine friends of ours. And all of that was because of a single chance encounter and the willingness to start a conversation with someone I didn't know.

And so today I wanna talk about these moments, the conversations with strangers that surprise us. Sometimes they're just fleeting conversations and they don't go any further. They just live in our memory. But other times like this one, they ripple out into something much bigger. Friendships, opportunities, even life changes.

Either way. They're proof to me that you never really know what can happen when you choose connection over being silent. And now not every conversation again with a stranger is going to turn into a business opportunity or a friendship. Most of them are, as I said, fleeting, very quick, a few minutes in line at the grocery store, maybe small talk on an airplane or a little back and forth at an event, and yet [00:03:00] sometimes even those fleeting moments stick with you in a way that feels completely out of proportion to the length of time that you spent in conversation with that person.

Well, why is that? I think it's because those conversations bypass all of our usual filters that we use with people we know, with friends, with family, with coworkers. There's this history expectations, and we fall into the roles that we've played for years. And I say without even realizing it, we edit what we say to fit the version of ourselves that they already know.

But with a stranger, there's none of that. It's just two people meeting exactly where they are in that moment. And because there's no past and no future to manage, it can feel strangely free and you can be more open and more curious and even more honest. And so can they. Sometimes, again, it's just a lighthearted exchange that will brighten your day.

And sometimes they maybe will drop a sentence [00:04:00] that sticks in your head because it hits so close to home. And sometimes you even catch yourself saying something out loud that maybe you didn't even realize you were holding inside. And here's the part that I love. Those moments remind us that connection doesn't always have to be heavy or complicated.

A five minute laugh with someone in the grocery store line or, that one conversation on an airplane with the person that you'll never see again, can make you feel more alive and more human. Even though you don't build a relationship with them, the memory stays. That's why I think fleeting conversations are also worth noticing.

 They're like little jolts, I guess you could say, of aliveness or reminders of how much possibility is around us if we let ourselves notice it. And then there are those other conversations that don't just stay as a memory. The ones that create ripples, like the one I shared in the beginning. What started as a casual small talk at the bar [00:05:00] ended up leading to music gigs and new friendships and experiences that we could have never planned for.

That's the thing about conversations with strangers. You never really know what they're going to open up. Again, sometimes it's nothing more than a pleasant moment in your day, and other times it becomes the doorway to something new. And here's what I've noticed, those bigger ripple effects, they don't happen because of perfect timing or some kind of planned encounter. They happened because someone was willing to take the risk of starting the conversation. They happened because you were curious or you asked one more question, or you allowed yourself to connect instead of keeping to yourself. Think about your own life for a second. How many of the opportunities that you've had came because of someone you didn't originally know?

Maybe it was a coworker who introduced you to the right person or a neighbor who mentioned something in passing. A [00:06:00] random introduction at a gathering, maybe eventually turned into a collaboration or a friendship. If you think about your own life, I think that you will realize that so much of what unfolds in our lives can be linked to a single conversation that might have seemed small at the time, which is kind of wild when you think about it. And that's why I think, or that's why I don't think these encounters are ever truly small.

We just don't always recognize the impact that they might have right away. And for most of us, talking to strangers doesn't come naturally. Well, except for me. I really do like talking to strangers, but a lot of people don't. And because, for good reason, I guess, you were taught, we were all taught as kids don't talk to strangers.

And while that advice might have been about safety at the time, a lot of us never really outgrew it and, you carry that rule into adulthood where it turns into avoidance and awkwardness, or really just simply [00:07:00] keeping to yourselves, and it's not just fear, sometimes it's habit, right? We're glued to our phones and rushing through errands and lost in our own thoughts.

And we convince ourselves that we don't have time or that the other person wouldn't be interested or that it would feel weird. So we just default to silence. But here's the cost of that. Every time you hold back, you're closing off the possibility of connection and learning and opportunity, and you're cutting yourself off from the little sparks of humanity that make life richer.

Think about it. How many people could have become mentors or collaborators or friends if you had simply been willing to say hello? Or how many ideas or perspectives could have shifted your thinking if you asked one more question instead of staying quiet? And here's something else. When you avoid talking to strangers, you also avoid seeing new sides of yourself because these conversations are obviously not just about the other person.[00:08:00] 

They're about the version of you that shows up in that moment, the curious version, the open version, the one that's not stuck in a routine version, and that's where the real value is. That's how these encounters can stretch you. They remind you that connection doesn't have to be planned, and it doesn't have to be with people already in your circle, and it doesn't have to last forever to make a difference.

 So, if you're someone who says, I'm just not good at small talk or I don't know what to say, please know it's not about being good at it. It's about being willing to take the step. The words don't matter nearly as much as your willingness to be present with another human being. And when I think back to that night in the restaurant, I realize how easy it would've been to just smile politely and keep to myself and never say a word.

If I had, my husband wouldn't have a new duo and we wouldn't have two new friends, and this episode wouldn't even exist. [00:09:00] That's what fascinates me about conversations with strangers. Again, you don't know which ones will just be a bright spot in your day and which ones will ripple out and change something bigger.

But either way, both clients matter. And so here's my challenge for you this week. Start one real conversation with a stranger. It doesn't have to be deep or profound. It might be as simple as asking someone a genuine question or making an observation. Just notice what happens when you open the door instead of keeping it closed. And then pay attention.

Do you feel lighter? Did you learn something? Did it spark an idea or a connection that you didn't expect? Because you never know when a simple moment of connection will leave you with a story that you'll still be telling years later.

 [00:10:00]