Ep 98 Regret Is Just Recalculation: How to Turn Setbacks Into Growth

In this episode, Lori Gouhin explores the sneaky nature of regret and why it isn’t a dead end, it’s your internal GPS saying recalculating. Instead of dragging regret around like a heavy suitcase, Lori reframes it as feedback that helps you grow, redirect, and move forward with clarity.

Through powerful analogies, personal stories, and practical exercises, Lori shows how to unpack regret, reframe it, and use it as fuel for the next step in your journey.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why regret is more about the story we tell ourselves than the actual event
  
  
  
• How to see regret as your inner GPS guiding you to a new path
  
  
  
• The difference between dragging regret as baggage vs. using it as information
  
  
  
• Three practical steps to transform regret into growth:
  
  
  
  1. Unpack one regret by naming it
     
     
     
  2. Ask the GPS question: What did this detour teach me?
     
     
     
  3. Rewrite the story into a statement of redirection and resilience
     
     
     
• Real-life examples of how regrets from career detours to health wake-up calls, can become catalysts for stronger choices and deeper self-trust
  
  
  

If you’ve ever felt weighed down by past mistakes or missed opportunities, this episode will give you a powerful reframe: regret isn’t proof you failed, it’s proof you kept moving. Tune in to learn how to release the heaviness of regret and use it as momentum for growth.

Thank you for sharing your time with me and remember to show up in your life like the masterpiece you are because YOU are the ARTwork!!!

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Transcript

Lori Gouhin: [00:00:00] you know what's interesting about regret? It's that it's rarely about the actual thing that happened. it's more about the story that we keep telling ourselves about it. Hello my friends. I am so glad that you are here with me today because today I wanna talk about something that I think every single one of us carries around, whether we admit it or not, and that is regret. I think most of us drag regret behind us, like some kind of a heavy suitcase that we never [00:01:00] unpacked and we replay old choices, old moments, and convince ourselves the whole journey is off track.

 that that one wrong turn and maybe your career or your relationship or the opportunity that you said no to, or possibly the opportunity that you said yes to, that actually wasn't an opportunity at all. Each time we think about it, it's like we're stuffing more clothes and shoes and all the things into the suitcase until it's overflowing.

as I'm saying this, you probably already know which regret comes to mind for you. Just notice it. Don't judge it. Don't push it away. Just hold it in your mind as we go through this conversation, because I can assure you that regret is not proof that you're lost and regret is not a dead end.

It's simply your internal GPS saying one word, recalculating. Think about it for a moment. When your GPS says [00:02:00] Recalculating, you don't throw the device out the window and you don't decide your trip is over and you don't beat yourself up. You don't go back home and start over. You just follow the new route.

So what if you treated regret the same way, not as a permanent failure stamped on your life, but as feedback that you're still on the move today? I wanna explore how regret can shift from being a weight that you drag around to a sign that you're still headed toward your destination, just maybe on a different road than you first imagined.

And you know what's interesting about regret? It's that it's rarely about the actual thing that happened. And I would say it's more about the story that we keep telling ourselves about it. regret is sneaky because it doesn't simply say something like, you've made a mistake, right? It says, you always make mistakes and you can't be trusted.

You'll never get it right. [00:03:00] And when we believe that voice, it's like stuffing even more clothes and shoes into that suitcase until it now feels nearly impossible to carry. Regret so often has a distorted lens. Think about it. If a friend heard your story or what happened, they'd probably say something like, you were trying or You were learning, you didn't quit.

But more often than not, we do not extend that same grace to ourselves. And I think regret weighs so much because we refuse to unpack it. In other words, to let it go. We keep hauling it from one season of life to the next. We drag it into our new relationships, our jobs, our new goals. Instead of asking, what can I learn from this?

We just carry the whole bag hoping no one notices how heavy it really is. And the longer we carry it, the more it slows us down. Not just emotionally, but practically [00:04:00] because we hesitate then to take chances because we messed up before, or we play small because we're afraid of repeating the past. And regret becomes that excuse for not moving forward, when in reality it could be the very feedback that we need to find a better path.

Again, let's contrast it with how GPS responds. When you miss a turn, it doesn't scream at you. It doesn't say, you always mess this up. You can't be trusted. You'll never get this right. It simply says that one word recalculating, and it says it without judgment. Completely neutral. You took a different road, fine.

Here's another way to get there. Imagine if your inner voice worked like that. No shame, no judgment. Just recalculating. Think about the times you've taken a detour in your life. Maybe you stayed in a job longer than you should have, or again, you passed on an opportunity or you went down a path that didn't end up being [00:05:00] right for you.

What if instead of labeling it as wasted time or a wrong turn, you treated it the way a GPS does, just another route to the same destination. That's the reframe I want you to think about today. Regret does not mean you're lost. It means you're still on route. It means you have options. It means your life is still mapping new possibilities.

And here's the connection I want you to make. Every regret you carry is already a recalculation in disguise. Think about it. The only reason you can even call something a regret is because you kept moving forward. You only realized it was a wrong turn once you saw where it led. If you had stopped entirely, if you had given up back there, back then, you wouldn't even be able to look back on it as a regret because it would just be the end of the road.

So what if [00:06:00] you shifted the way you define regret instead of calling it wasted time? What if you called it information? A detour that taught you something your original root? Never would have. For me, one of my biggest regrets was getting involved in network marketing. Again, no shame or judgment for anyone who does that.

At the time, it felt like the right move for me, but looking back, it was a huge financial mistake and a big setback, and for a long time I beat myself up about that choice. But now I see it differently. That detour taught me how to spot red flags, how to ask harder questions before jumping into something, and how much I value building something that's genuinely aligned with who I am.

And without that experience, I might not be as clear and intentional about the choices that I make today, both in life and in business 

For someone else, it might be something like picking quote unquote safe college [00:07:00] major instead of the one that they were really passionate about, and maybe that did delay them being able to step into their creative zone. But I'm also sure it gave them discipline and a set of problem solving skills that they can now use in ways they never expected.

Maybe your regret looks like turning down an opportunity because the timing felt inconvenient, only to realize later that it could have opened so many doors for you. But even that has value because it can show you what you actually prioritize, and it might make you more courageous the next time a chance like that comes around.

And for some regret shows up in health like neglecting your body until it forces you to pay attention. That detour might feel costly, but it also teaches you not to take energy and wellbeing for granted, and it recalculates your priorities in a way nothing else could. Every [00:08:00] regret contains a piece of data.

I would say. It's like your GPS saying, the road is blocked. Take the next exit. The value isn't in shaming yourself. It's in realizing that the road wasn't the best route in the first place, and here's something else to consider. Some of the most interesting routes in my life only happened because of detours, and I'm sure it's the same with you.

We meet people we never would've met. We develop skills we didn't know we needed. We learned patience, resilience, perspective, all the things. None of that happens on a perfectly planned route. So again, instead of asking, what if I had just done things differently, try asking, what did this path teach me?

That I couldn't have learned any other way. That's the difference between dragging that heavy suitcase of regret and simply updating your map. And here's the best part, recalculation doesn't mean you [00:09:00] start over from scratch. It picks up exactly where you are and shows you the next step forward. You don't lose everything you gained.

You don't erase the distance that you've already traveled. You simply move from where you are. And so how do you take this idea of regret as a recalculation and actually live it out? Here are a few ways that you can start. Number one, unpack one thing. Instead of carrying everything at once, choose one regret that you keep circling back to and write it down.

Not the whole story, just the headline version of it, because naming it will take it out of your brain and put it right in front of you where you can see it clearly. And then number two. Ask the GPS question, so right underneath it, right? What did this detour teach me that I couldn't have learned any other way?

Give yourself space and time to answer honestly, it does not have to be a positive spin. It just has to be [00:10:00] truth. This will shift it from being useless weight to being useful information. And number three, rewrite the story. Take that regret and flip it into a, thank God this happened because statement, even if you don't fully believe it yet, practice seeing the detour as something that gave you insight.

Grit, a better perspective, a better direction, and ask yourself, what do I do differently now because of that regret, again, maybe you spot red flags faster, or maybe you trust yourself more. Maybe you no longer ignore your gut feelings. That's the upgrade that turned a regret into redirection. And so instead of carrying that regret, like extra weight, put it to work.

Use the lesson it gave you. Regret will stop being something that keeps you in the past. When you let it actively shape your present. That's when it [00:11:00] shifts from being baggage to being fuel, I guess you could say. And when I look back at the regrets that I've carried. What stands out isn't the wrong turn itself.

It's the way those turns shaped, the route that I'm on now, we all have those moments that we wish we could erase, but the truth is without them, we would not see things the way we do today. They've sharpened our awareness, changed how we make decisions, and they clarify what we're no longer willing to accept.

And so instead of dragging your regrets around like that overstuffed bag, remember. And trust that when your car GPS is recalculating, it doesn't focus on losing time and nor should your inner GPS, because in the end, the ultimate goal is about finding the road that makes sense for you. And the only thing that matters is that you keep going.

Because often, and at the risk of sounding [00:12:00] cliche, the most meaningful parts of the journey are the ones you never planned. And so to wrap it up. Here's what I want you to realize. When you look back five years from now, the things you're regretting today might be the very reasons you're stronger, more focused, and more aligned, and the detours just might become the stories that you're most proud of.