Ep 99 A New Approach to Discovering Your Why

In this episode of The ARTwork of YOU, Lori Gouhin explores the deeper question behind everything we do: what is your why? Drawing on the insights of Simon Sinek and Viktor Frankl, Lori unpacks why knowing your deeper why isn’t just a nice-to-have, it's essential for living with purpose.

Through stories, reflection prompts, and practical exercises, Lori shows you how to uncover your true why, move beyond polished statements, and use your core beliefs as an anchor for your life, business, and relationships.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why so many of us confuse goals or desires with our true why
  
  
  
• How Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle can help you shift from what and how to the deeper why
  
  
  
• Viktor Frankl’s perspective on meaning as the difference between surviving and thriving
  
  
  
• Practical exercises to uncover your why: look at your stories, notice your impact, talk it out, and turn it into a belief
  
  
  
• How your why creates purpose in daily life, helping you cut through distractions and stay grounded in what matters most
  
  
  

If you’ve ever felt like you’re going through the motions, chasing achievements that don’t add up to fulfillment, this episode will help you pause, reflect, and reconnect with what really drives you.

Thank you for sharing your time with me and remember to show up in your life like the masterpiece you are because YOU are the ARTwork!!!

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Transcript

Lori Gouhin: [00:00:00] very few ever get to the cause or belief that actually drives you. you can end up with a life or a business that looks perfectly fine on the outside. But feels kind of flat or maybe misaligned on the inside. Hello, my friends. I am so glad that you are here with me today because today I want to ask you something. What are you actually doing with your life? Not to be dramatic, but just sit with that for a second. You wake [00:01:00] up, you go through your routine, your work, you chase after your goals, you check off your to-do list.

But have you ever stopped to really ask yourself, why am I doing any of this? Of course, I know that you know that the purpose of life isn't to stay busy or to collect achievements or even to reach every goal that you set. The purpose of life is to create meaning, and when you get to the end of the line, what you'll wanna know is that your life had purpose and that it meant something.

But if you don't truly know why you're doing the things you do. It's almost impossible to create meaning you can have success, you can have accomplishments, but without a why underneath it, all those things won't add up to a life that it felt like it mattered. And so I want to talk first for a bit about Simon Sinek's work.

And if you're not familiar with him, he wrote the book. Start With Why. [00:02:00] In it. He gives us a framework for uncovering that deeper. Why not just in business, but in how we live our lives. He calls it the golden circle, and it's a simple way of showing why so many of us end up chasing the what and the how 

While skipping the one thing that gives it all meaning the why. And most of us, I would say, whether we're talking about a business, a career, or even our personal goals, start from the outside in. We begin with the what. What do we do? What do we sell? What's our job title? And then if we're a little more thoughtful, we move on to the how.

How do we do it? Our what's our process, our values, our differentiators. But

very few ever get to the center, which is the why, the purpose, the cause or belief that actually drives you. And when you skip the why, you can end up with a life or a business [00:03:00] that looks perfectly fine on the outside. But feels kind of flat or maybe misaligned on the inside. and now I know that some of you might be thinking, yeah, I know this. I know I have to have my why. I've already done this exercise. I've already thought about my why. Because every business coach says, you have to know your why. But here's the problem. Most of the time, what we label as our why is really just a goal.

Or maybe some polished answer, something that sounds good. Like I want freedom. I want to help people. I want to make an impact, but those aren't really why's I want freedom. It's not a why. That's a desire. A true why would sound more like. I believe people are at their best when they feel free to create their own path, not follow someone else's.

One is about what you want, [00:04:00] the other is about what you stand for, and that's the kind of why Seneca's pointing us toward more like a conviction or belief about the world that fuels everything else you do. He first explained this idea in the context of leadership and business. And he noticed that most inspiring companies and leaders were not the ones talking about what they did or how they did it.

They were the ones that could clearly communicate why they existed in the first place. And. I understand and I realize that most of us don't walk into a store and think, wow, I, I really align so deeply with this company's why. Usually we like or buy a product because it's on trend, or maybe a celebrity you admire endorses it, and that's fine.

But generally those aren't the brands that we stay loyal to. Those aren't the ones that become part of our identity or the ones that [00:05:00] stick with us over time. The ones that change industries or even change culture are the ones that are rooted in a why. And the same is true for us as individuals when you live and work from a clear why people don't just notice what you do, they feel why you're doing it, and that's what makes them trust you and connect with you and want to stay in your world.

And just as important, it keeps you connected. Without a deeper why it's easy to burn out or to jump from one thing to the next, to the next to the next, and nothing feels solid. A why gives you an anchor to keep showing up even when the results aren't instant Your why could be what drives you as a parent or as a partner or in your community.

It could be what helps you make decisions about your health, your time, or your relationships. It's the difference between going through the motions day after day and waking up with a sense of direction, [00:06:00] and we all know what it feels like. To be pulled in a hundred different directions by other people's expectations, by what culture says we should want, or by the easy distractions that fill our time.

A strong why Cuts through all of that and it reminds you of what really matters to you. So whether you're running a business or just trying to navigate your own life in a more intentional way, knowing your why is the thing that keeps you grounded. When everything else just might be feeling uncertain.

And another great book to consider when thinking about this is the one by Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor who wrote that classic book, man's Search for Meaning. And I would say that if Sinek gives us the business and leadership framework for understanding why Franco gives us the human framework.

The proof that meaning isn't just a nice to have, it's essential. He discovered that people [00:07:00] who were able to endure the most unimaginable conditions of the concentration camps, they weren't necessarily the strongest or the most optimistic people. They were the ones who had a sense of meaning, a reason to keep going.

In other words, a why he put it. Simply by saying life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. Think about that. We often believe that if we could just fix our circumstances, then we'd be okay. If we had more money or a different job, or if that one relationship finally worked out, then we'd feel better.

But Frankl showed us that even in the harshest conditions, it's not the circumstances that decide our fate, it's whether or not we've found meaning in them. And this ties directly back to what Cynic is pointing us towards. Your why shouldn't be a [00:08:00] polished statement or some kind of trending mantra because what it's really about is meaning, it's the reason you choose to move forward.

It's what makes the how and the what actually matter. Frankl's perspective shows us that having a why is not just for leaders or entrepreneurs or companies with a mission statement. It's for every single one of us, because meaning is what gives our lives shape on one end of the spectrum. Cynic shows us how a clear why can transform a business, a brand, or a movement.

And on the other end, Frankel shows us how a why can carry someone through suffering. Most of us can't even imagine. And in between those extremes. Where you and I live every day trying to figure out how to navigate work, relationships, our health, creativity, all of it. And so I definitely think that your why changes the quality of your everyday [00:09:00] life because without it, your actions can feel like endless busy work, even when you're achieving things.

And with it, the exact same actions carry meaning because you know what they connect back to. I guess you could say that A why doesn't just keep you going. It helps you decide where to go and what's worth your time and energy in the first place. So how do you start uncovering your why? Well, I can assure you that you don't need a perfect mission statement.

I would say what you need is reflection. So here are a few ways to begin. Look at your stories. Write down three moments in your life when you felt most alive, most purposeful, or most proud of who you were being. The why will always live in your stories, not in your goals. Number two, notice the impact. Ask yourself, when I'm at my best, how does it affect the people around me?

Because your why isn't only about what you get. It's about the contribution you make and the [00:10:00] ripple effect that that creates. Number three, talk it out. Share those stories with someone you trust and let them reflect back the themes that they hear. Because I would say that often we are too close to see the pattern selves.

And finally, number four, turn it into a belief. And this is key. Because again, your why isn't what you want. It's the belief underneath that, instead of having a why that says something like, I want success. A true why might be, I believe people thrive when they're encouraged to use their unique gifts, not forced into someone else's definition of success, and so it's more like a conviction.

Like we said earlier, because if you truly believe that people thrive when they're encouraged to use their unique gifts, you will be more likely to use yours and that will lead to your success. There's another example of a not [00:11:00] why something like I want stability. A true why would be more like, I believe people thrive when they have a solid foundation They can depend on.

And here's one more. Instead of, I want to help people, which you hear a lot of in the personal growth field. A true why would be more like, I believe everyone has untapped potential and when it's unlocked, it changes lives. Those are the kind of whys that actually guide your behavior and create purpose and meaning in your life.

so to wrap it up, I would say a lot of people treat the find your why, like it's some branding exercise, like you need a catchy line that makes you sound impressive. But that is not it at all. Not at all. I want you to know that uncovering your why is not about coming up with the perfect words. Or what you envision as a statement that you could post online.

It's about noticing what meaning keeps [00:12:00] coming through in what you do, and then choosing to let that meaning guide how you live and how you work, and how you create in this world. Because your why isn't something that you invent. It's something that you uncover, and when you do, it changes the way you see yourself and the way that you show up in the world.

So this week, I would love for you to spend some time with the questions and exercises we talked about, because once you do, I can guarantee you're never going to look at your life the same.

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