Ep 103 Trusting Your Worth: Navigating Tough Decisions and Staying True to Yourself

In this episode of 'The ARTwork of YOU’, host Lori Gouhin discusses the importance of knowing and holding onto your worth even when life tempts you to settle.

Lori shares a recent personal experience where she decided to turn down a financially tempting but undervalued offer, hEpisode Highlights:

• Knowing Your Worth
• Lori’s Personal Story: About an offer that was very tempting
• The Struggle of Saying Nighlighting the internal struggle and ultimate relief that came from staying true to her self-to the challenges of making decisions based on self-respect rather than comfort or fear, and provides practical steps to help listeners trust their own value. It emphasizes the notion that the right opportunities often appear after making tough decisions.
• The Universe Testing Your Integrity
• The Reward of Holding Your Worth
• Practical Tips for Valuing Yourself
• Embracing Self-Worth

This episode offers heartfelt insight and practical guidance for anyone learning to trust their intuition, set boundaries, and stand confidently in their value.worth.

Thank you for sharing your time with me and remember to show up in your life like the masterpiece you are because YOU are the ARTwork!!!

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Transcript

Lori Gouhin: [00:00:00] Hello, my friends. I am so glad that you are

here with me today, because today I wanna talk about knowing your

worth and holding onto it when life tempts you to settle, because it's

easy to value yourself when things are going smoothly and the way that

you want, but it's a lot harder when you're faced with some difficult

decisions and choosing what feels right in your gut.

Recently I [00:01:00] found myself in that spot. I was offered what looked

like a great opportunity and a lot of money, and I could have easily said

yes, but deep down I knew it was far below the value of the work that

I've put in. And even though I knew that I still struggled with the decision

that maybe I should just take it, So what I wanna explore today is what it

looks like to stay grounded in your value when it would be easier to

compromise. And I also wanna talk about something I've noticed again

and again in my own life, and that's how the universe, God, life,

whatever you prefer, sometimes tests you in those moments and how

magical it can feel when you choose integrity.

And then something unexpected shows up on the other side of that. So

here's what happened. I was asked to sell seven of my paintings to one

collector, which was incredible. [00:02:00] It was amazing. But the price

that they wanted to pay was well below what I know. The work is worth.

Still what they were offering wasn't what you would call pocket change.

It was the kind of number that can make you pause, or at least it made

me pause because I'm human and money is very tempting and

important, and so my brain went into overdrive and thoughts like, maybe

I should just take it. Maybe I'm overvaluing what I do. Maybe it's better to

have something than nothing at all.

All of those thoughts came rolling in. I'm not sure if you've ever been

there. Maybe you're an artist and you have, maybe it's been from a job

offer, maybe a job that maybe seems safe, but it underpays you. Maybe

it's a client who wants a big discount. Maybe it's something like staying

in a relationship or a partnership or a friendship that doesn't feel right,

but it's easier than starting over.

It's that moment when the fear of losing [00:03:00] outweighs belief in

your own worth. I struggled with the decision. It felt very heavy because

saying no meant trusting that either something better or at least

something aligned would come later, or that even if it didn't, things would

still work out as they were meant to be.

And of course there's never a guarantee, but I also knew this. I have

worked way too hard to get where I am with my confidence and my

pricing and saying, yes, would undo that progress and teach me to doubt

myself the next time. So I said no. And honestly, I can't tell you that it felt

triumphant right away or anything like that. Honestly, it felt like the

biggest

dose of self-doubt that I have felt in a long, long time, and I questioned

whether or not I had made a mistake. But deep down there was also this

sense of relief, like I had passed some invisible test about what I value,

more money or [00:04:00] self-respect. I think a lot of people imagine

that knowing your worth feels very empowering, almost like standing on

a mountain and yelling, I am worth more than this.

But honestly, from my experience, most of the time, it feels kind of

terrifying. When you finally start to own your value, whether that's in your

career, your prices, your boundaries, your relationships, you're going to

hit resistance. Your own brain, as we've talked about many times, is

wired to keep you safe.

And safe often means staying small and taking what's offered. That's

why I think saying no to something misaligned can feel like jumping off a

cliff. Again, let's be honest. Money talks, opportunities talk, attention

talks. So when something tempting comes along but doesn't honor you,

it's just not a financial decision.

It's emotional. You're looking at security versus self-respect or short term

relief versus [00:05:00] long-term alignment. So of course, that feels

uncomfortable. I've learned that this discomfort doesn't mean you are

wrong. It usually means you're growing. Anytime you decide to hold your

worth, you're stepping into a bigger version of yourself.

One that believes you're worthy of what you really want, not just what's

being offered right now and growth almost always feels awkward and

scary before it feels powerful. So if you've ever said no to a job or a

client or a relationship or an opportunity and then felt like you might

throw up afterwards, that's normal.

Let me assure you. It's very normal. It's not weakness. It's the cost of

self-respect, I guess you could say. And I think that situation I found

myself in is a pattern that happens to all of us that after you decide to

value your worth, for example, me initially setting the price on my

available paintings. Or it could be you deciding to end a

relationship.[00:06:00]

Life has a funny way of asking. Are you sure? And some people might

call it the universe testing you. Some call it growth or resistance.

Psychologist might say it's simply our brain craving safety or proof.

Whatever you call it, it doesn't matter. The pattern is the same. You

declare your value and something shows up that tempts you to back

down. Again,

it could look like a job offer that's close to what you want, but still

underpays you or a client that loves your work, but only if you cut your

rates, maybe a relationship that seems good enough if you're willing to

shrink a little bit, it's life asking you, do you actually believe what you just

said about yourself?

Of course, the hard part is that the test usually comes with a dose of

fear. It seems practical to say yes, and maybe your mind will quietly say

to you something like, don't be greedy, or something better might not

come [00:07:00] along. But from what I've seen in my own life and in the

lives of the people I've coached, holding your worth is often a

precondition for the right opportunities to appear.

It's not a punishment. It's more like a filter. The universe, God, again, life,

however you like to think of it, isn't trying to hurt you. It's giving you a

chance to align with what you truly want and what you say you want,

rather than settling for what's easy. And it's crazy how often once you

make that hard decision to stay true to yourself, something unexpected

shows up sometimes right away, sometimes later, but it shows up and it

feels magical, but it's also deeply practical because you stop leaking

energy into what was misaligned and you make space for what's meant

for you.

After I finally made the decision to say no again, I didn't feel instantly

powerful. [00:08:00] I wish I could say I felt this huge wave of

confidence, but the truth is I still questioned myself. I still wondered if I

had made a mistake, turning it down, turning the opportunity down, the

money down, but then something happened that literally stopped me in

my tracks, basically about an hour prior.

I was talking with my husband about the situation, and I shared with him

that I felt like I had passed a test. My self worth was more than the

money, and I was finally able to let it go, and I finally felt confident in my

decision. And so then about an hour later, I checked my phone and

someone who had seen my work on TikTok, purchased a large painting

from my website at full value.

Paid in full. No hesitation. I just stood there looking at my phone, smiling

and nodding my head, and I knew it was the universe saying, see, you

are right to trust [00:09:00] yourself. And now again, it was one painting,

not seven paintings, but that doesn't matter. It was the reassurance. It

was, again, the way the universe opens up, God again, whatever.

Because I. Stood by myself. In other words, I, I stood by what was right

for me. I held onto my self worth. I said no. And then as if by magic,

someone buys a painting out of nowhere on TikTok, my first TikTok sale

actually, and so. Again, I just stood there looking at my phone and

smiling, and I know some people will chalk that up to coincidence, but I

don't believe that.

But here's the thing. Even if it was, even if it was a coincidence, it still

matters because the moment I said no to something that was

misaligned, I created space for something aligned to show up. Literally,

well, not literally within an hour, because I had made the decision a

couple of [00:10:00] days before, but again, I kept belaboring it back and

forth, back and forth.

But as soon as I really was able to let it go and felt confident in my

decision, and that I made the right choice, and that I had passed a test,

that's when something an hour later showed up.

So whether you believe in energy manifestation or the power of focus,

there's something about not settling that changes the opportunities you

are available for. We can't always control how quickly the reward shows

up. It might not be an hour, but we can trust that making decisions from

self-worth creates a different trajectory than making decisions from fear.

And believe me, I understand that when you're in the middle of a tough

decision, it can feel very murky. So here are some ways that I checkwith

myself when I'm tempted to accept less, whether that's money or

something else than I know that I'm worth. Number one, look at your

own history. [00:11:00] Have people paid you this rate before?

Have you built a track record at your current value? If yes, that's

evidence that the price is fair and not inflated. Number two. Think about

long-term positioning every yes teaches people how to treat you. That is

so important. If you cave on your value, it makes it harder to stand firm

the next time. It also signals to future opportunities, what your baseline

really is.

And number three, ask how you'll feel after the dust settles. If you take

the deal, will you feel proud? Or will you feel a little resentful and

regretful that gut check matters more than we often admit. Number four,

consider the story that you're telling yourself. Are you saying yes

because it's truly aligned or because you are afraid nothing will come?

Saying yes out of fear keeps you small. [00:12:00] Saying yes out of

alignment expands you. And number five, remember your bigger vision.

short term cash, or the safer option can be very tempting, but if it pulls

you away from where you're trying to go, it's expensive in other ways to

your self-esteem, your brand to your future earning potential, your goals

in life.

Now these questions don't make the decision easy, but they give you

something more than solid panic and fear to stand on. And the hardest

part of all this isn't actually saying no, it's the discomfort that comes after.

As I said, I said no, but then days, it was just on my mind.

So you've turned down the thing that didn't honor you, and now there's

nothing but space and space can feel very terrifying. Your brain starts

screaming like, what if nothing else comes? What if I just made the

biggest mistake of my life? And so here's what helped me [00:13:00]

deal with that space in those days, instead of panicking.

Number one, I stayed anchored by my vision. So remind yourself why

you set your price, why you set your boundary, why you made the

decision in the first place. Pull out your past wins or notes from clients,

friends, bosses, or your own journal. And prove you're capable and

valuable. Number two, reach out to someone who understands. It could

be a friend, a mentor, or someone in your field.

It doesn't matter. Just saying I'm doubting myself right now can take the

power outta that fear. And number three, keep showing up. Don't

disappear because one opportunity did not work out. Keep marketing

your work. Keep applying for jobs. Keep networking. Keep creating

because your activity signals to your brain to and to the world that you're

still in.

motion. Number four, reframe the waiting instead of nothing is

happening. Think something like, I'm making room for what's [00:14:00]

meant for me. It sounds like a small shift, but it really keeps you out of

scarcity and panic. And again, these in-between moments are

uncomfortable, but they're also where you will build the muscle of self-

trust.

You learn that you can survive uncertainty, and that makes you stronger

every single time. And so if you're listening right now and you're facing a

decision that's testing you, I want you to hear this. It's okay to say no. It's

okay to honor your work, your time and your growth that got you to

where you are right now.

Choosing self-worth doesn't mean the fear goes away by all means, but

it means you're willing to feel the fear and stand firm anyway. And I know

how scary that is, but I also know this. The right opportunities cannot find

you if you're busy saying yes to the wrong ones. Let me say that again.

The [00:15:00] right opportunities cannot find you if you're busy saying

yes to the wrong ones.

and so if you're struggling to navigate this, if you want clarity on your

worth. A strategy for holding your boundaries or someone to help you

stay accountable when that fear creeps in. This is exactly the kind of

work I do with clients. You can book a strategy session with me at

www.theartworkofyou.com, or there's a link in the show notes.

What we'll do is we'll help you get clear on your value, map out how to

stand behind it and build a plan that actually feels doable when those

tests come up as they inevitably do. Saying no when something isn't

aligned is never easy, but when you do, you create space for what's

meant for you, and often before you know it, the universe shows up with

a little wink to remind you that you [00:16:00] made the right choice.