Athletic Fortitude Show
Athletes all over the world endure countless mental physical and psychological adversities over the course of their careers. We are here to bring you the solutions to those adversities with some of the top professional athletes, coaches, and sport and performance psychologists around the world!
Athletic Fortitude Show
Year-End Reflections: 10 Life-Changing Lessons From 2024
As the curtain falls on 2024, we reflect on the past year's transformative lessons, drawing insights from personal challenges and growth. Join me as I unpack these pivotal moments with Steve Vensel, highlighting the importance of authoring one's own story and recognizing individual rock bottoms.
• Emphasizing the power of authoring your own narrative
• Understanding personal definitions of rock bottom
• Redefining happiness through individual productivity
• Embracing the loneliness inherent in growth stages
• Advocating for radical acceptance of circumstances
• Managing energy as the key to maximizing time
• Recognizing pain as a vital teacher of resilience
• The self-fulfilling prophecy of positive energy
• Reframing sacrifice as a commitment to priorities
• Nurturing the obsession advantage for personal success
Welcome back to the show everybody. On today's episode we have me again. Sorry, you guys got to sit here and listen to me again. It's a year-end reflection as we look forward to 2025. Really important that we unpack the great things that happened in 2024 and some of my biggest lessons that I've learned from my guests, from my own writing, from my readings just different things that really elevated me in my own life. That I think is really important to share with you all.
Speaker 1:Pretty cool, I'm including Steve Vensel in this. He is the man behind the scenes that helps me get everything going. When I make mistakes from recording, from editing, he saves me and gets everything ready to go. So weekly I can have something, you know, looking good for you guys. So you know he's endured a lot of these lessons with me. He's gotten to learn them as I have learned them. So I thought it was incredibly necessary to have him do this episode with me and to check me and ask me questions and to further unpack, you know, some of those lessons that I've learned. So you get to hear me rap with Steve here. You know. Appreciate you guys. And you know, thank you for tuning in this year. 2025 is in for a lot of surprises and we're going to keep this thing rolling. So, with that said, me and Steve.
Speaker 2:Like I think this is rad, like I love the fact that you're sitting and reflecting on this and some of these little things with 2024. And you sent over the list before, so it's comprehensive and kind of these cool little subjects. But what was your process from reflecting? I really want to know. I'm curious.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So when I reflect it's, you know I go through all my writings. You know I go through all my podcasts and I try and find, you know, the key points in each and it's really hard to narrow it down. So the way I basically narrowed down is what impacted me the most and the way I talk about learning. Right is. Learning is not just taking in information, it's change behavior after so, when I was looking through my 2024 year in review, which ones had the greatest impact on me in terms of changing my behavior? And so all the lessons I've learned, I still feel like I left some out, but I really tried to condense it into 10, um that either were super applicable to my life or really just changed my behavior.
Speaker 2:I dig it and I like obviously you put a lot of thought into this and we'll I'll ask some questions along the way and it's I mean, it's your show but like this is really cool and I want to make sure that you're bringing this to life through, you know, through your blog and your notes and your newsletter and all that stuff. Being able to like this is a cool thing that you can drop like weekly, like it's like okay, hey, here's lesson one from the recap and everything like that. So you know it's. I love when this is something I need to be better at from a reflective perspective. So like this is this is kind of inspiring to me, man.
Speaker 1:Well, hey, you know I appreciate that Anytime I can uh, inspire at all. I think that's why you know I do this, obviously because I love it. But you know I'd be lying if I said I don't get some joy when you know I help others as well. That's why I started this. So appreciate your kind words, man.
Speaker 2:Easy man, it's easy and again I've been grateful for us to kind of grow together on this journey and trying to, you know, help help you bring this vision to life. And it's pretty cool because and it's actually kind of a cool segue into, like, your first little bullet point that you have and you noted and you have it in your mind and you have this vision, you're working towards it. So I'd love for you to kind of explain that little, that start, the obsession advantage and your reflection on that yeah, and so I really did try and rank these one through ten, like what was the most impactful for me should we start?
Speaker 2:should we start at the bottom, like, should we get like it should be? Should it be a count up as opposed to a count? Or you tell me what do you think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's go 10 to 1. We'll go 10 to 1. Go ahead.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so if we're working bottom up right as we're ranking number 10, you've got authoring your own story right and again. Obviously, as a podcast host and as somebody that's helping people tell stories, this is something that is paramount. As a podcast host and as somebody that's helping people tell stories, right, this is something that is paramount storytelling and podcasting. So fill me in.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So the way I look at it in authoring your own story that's the 10th lesson I learned this year and I would say is the events that happen to our life are unbiased and unprejudiced. We give them meaning. So whether something happens to you, it's neither good nor bad. It's I assign it meaning, and so the best way to do that is, if I'm going through any type of experience, it's I get to make that a part of my story, whether it's good or bad.
Speaker 1:I can turn it into a chapter, I can turn it into a turning point, a pivot point, and really just learning how to take events and not look at them from an event as, oh, poor me or yay me, it's taking a step back and like, hey, well, I get to choose and it just gives you an ability to take more control over your life. And so anyone who's listened to me or read my writings knows that I have gone through some personal challenges from a knee standpoint, from growing my company standpoint or what I perceive as challenges to myself and for what works for me. And what I've learned is just use that as part of my story. The lonely stages, the injury, the pain, all it is is it's part of my journey, it's part of my story and I get to use that to elevate myself. And it's part of what I'll tell one day as well.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's powerful. And again, obviously you're you're a father too, right. Like so, this is stuff that these are lessons that, like we try to teach our kids, right. Again, the only person you have control over is yourself, right, and in the good, the bad and the everything right, it's you and it's your journey and, like I love that. That's that kind of reflective piece that, like you get to, you get to create the narrative right and you get to, you get to figure out how it's framed and how it's authored and how it's all pulled together.
Speaker 1:And I think a part of it too is what would if you were watching a movie and you were the main character and you're watching this from an outside point of view it's in you're supposed to be the hero of the stories what would you do if you were the hero in that story? Right, if I'm watching a movie in the heroes in a downtime or they're in a period of a good time, it's how would you want them to handle it? What would you want to see the next step be and learning how to do that in your own life and program it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, and again, I love the movie analogy because everybody's seen a good movie and movies are the. The storytelling is always the same. Right, again it's. You've got this character. That is maybe the unassuming hero. It goes through, there's challenges that they push through and then, at the end of the day right, most movies it it's the climactic. The hero comes out and again, it ties to the kind of the next piece that you have on your recap list at number nine. Right, the personal nature of rock bottom, because it happens, right, it's inevitable and it happens in every movie and every story. So talk to me about that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and this actually came up in my Q&A as well. It really changed my total perspective of what causes us to really change dramatically in terms of our behavior, and we're homeless on the street. But in reality, what rock bottom is? It's different for everybody and so for someone may need to go to that you know, stereotypical rock bottom in order to change behavior. But some of us all takes it as a single loss. Or it takes a single day of getting out of our routine, or it takes, you know, looking stupid one time. Whatever it is, everybody's version of rock bottom is a little bit different and we all hit it at different points and that's what really causes our behavioral change. Then, when I first heard it, it was just eye opening to me because I'd never thought about it that way, because I had always looked at rock bottom as the stereotypical you know drug addicts, you know perceived loser living on the streets to like.
Speaker 1:I mean again like yes, understand.
Speaker 1:And so what I, what I came to realize and how you know I implement that in my own life, is to try, and you know, build that self-awareness about what my real, real breaking points are. Like, how much do I need to endure before I need to change habits? Whether it's weightlifting, exercising, diet reading, podcasting, whatever it is, whatever I'm trying to amplify, or 10X or whatever it is, I can say one thing but what's actually going to dictate my behavior? And that's where I kind of try and center around okay, well, maybe I can create a higher rock bottom, right? So it's just, I miss one day and it's like nope, never missing again, type of thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and what I love about that is again you coined it that like everybody hits it differently and everybody's rock bottom is differently, and I like those kind of the levels I was speaking with a friend earlier today right like, about like goals into 2025 and things like that. Right Like, and I've found that over the past, like a couple of years, my, my perceived rock bottom is like, whenever I'm stagnant, I'm not working towards things, right, and but it's it's. I love what you're saying about, like it's reflecting and understanding your own personal to then figure out, okay, hey, I'm climbing up the mountain a little bit more. Then figure out, okay, hey, I'm climbing up the mountain a little bit more, maybe my rock bottom is here now and I can pivot and I can do these kind of things. That's a really cool notion.
Speaker 1:I appreciate that Honestly. I think it ties really well into the next one, which is redefining happiness through productivity. I don't want this to be one of those hustle culture things. I get that there's a debate around that and what's actually healthy? Who's actually working as hard as they say.
Speaker 1:But I think we look at happiness through the wrong lens Because if we look at it from an evolutionary psychology perspective, hundreds and thousands of years ago they didn't really know what happiness was. They were just trying not to get eaten by a saber-toothed tiger. They were hunting to eat. If they didn't kill their food, they didn't eat and they didn't provide for their family. Fast forward a thousand years.
Speaker 1:We have all kinds of different distractions. We have all kinds of different things going on in our lives and they really distract us from what I believe happiness is, and that's being productive and useful. And so everybody has to define what that means in their own life. So for me, what's productive from a business standpoint, from a health standpoint, from a father standpoint, from a husband standpoint? As long as I can set a standard and hold myself to that standard, then I can be productive and that will lead to being happy because I feel useful. And that's where I think that disconnect is. Is we want to focus on this happiness when I think the happiness comes? Is we want to focus on this happiness when I think the happiness comes from setting standards and meeting your standards?
Speaker 2:That's an interesting notion, cause, again like, and I think from a productivity right that's the word that, as I'm kind of reading this as we go along, right, that stands out for me redefining happiness through productivity and productivity, productivity, productivity depends on how you want to say it. But, um, but, like that's the interesting thing is, from a father perspective. Right, like I'd imagine, let's, you had your knee surgery. You talked about yoga and rock bottom, but like how, how did you find productivity or productivity while you're recovering and trying to be a dad? Like what did that look like? Because, again, I'm kind of tying the two together, because like the rock bottom nature and it's really easy to be really easy to just sit in it, but like I'd be curious to see how that worked for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So that was honestly a rock bottom for me when I had my surgery and for those of you who've maybe had surgery or who haven't, the wave of emotions I went through is when I had that surgery one. It was a major knee surgery. It was a year long recovery. I knew that going in. I knew there wasn't uh, it wasn't like a clear cut, 100% success rate type of thing, and for me I was stuck in a leg machine that would move me for six to eight hours a day. So I was in my basement for most of the day alone in a leg machine with just my TV, and it essentially just feels like you are removed from the world. You really don't have a drive or desire to do work Can't really describe it. Don't know if it's like the drugs from the surgery or whatever.
Speaker 1:I didn't take any pain medication, but obviously they have to put stuff in your system. Don't know really how long it takes for that stuff to wear off, but for like a solid week or two. Like you know, I just sat in that that misery just watching movie after movie, right, really not working or being productive, and I was miserable. And so I got to a point where, like I was just sitting there thinking the one day I'd gotten away from my healthy habits of reading, journaling, you know, meditating, breathing, and I was just thinking if I go into 2024 like this, because it was I had my surgery December of 23. I was like I'm going to let my family down, I'm not going to be able to do anything that I want. I'm not gonna be able to to let my family down. I'm not going to be able to do anything that I want. I'm not going to be able to provide for my family. From a financial perspective, from a presence perspective, I was like I have to change. I can't do this. I've been sitting this for too long.
Speaker 1:Immediately, I just started picking up my phone, dming, texting, emailing anybody in my contacts, and it was one of, I would say, the biggest pillars of growth I've had in like a month perspective and putting me on a totally new trajectory Podcast guest, getting a chance to meet with Sam, who connected us and we've developed an awesome relationship since and just trying to meet and talk with as many people as I possibly could and just see what else you know was out there, and so going through that, how I really learned to be productive is. It was easy to be a father in that perspective because I was kind of stuck right, so like I could leave the house or do whatever. But the hard part about being the father was at that point is my daughter would want me to carry her up the steps and I couldn't. I wasn't allowed to walk. So I had to find ways to just make her feel loved, to sit on my lap, to cuddle her, to watch TV, to do whatever reading with her while we were on the couch.
Speaker 1:And so you kind of pick up and move the needle of what productivity looks like. If you're someone starting from zero, you can't make productivity look like a million dollars tomorrow. Sure, that may be the goal. You may want to get there in one year, two years, three years, five years, 10 years. But you got to start somewhere and just increasingly move up what production and what your standards are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I mean it's funny how all of this is written out here, because again, it's almost transitional in nature, because again, you talked about the loneliness in the basement, you talked about the lack of self-worth and all of the lack of productivity, but your next note, your next subject here is embracing the lonely stage of growth, right, so I'm tying those two together, right, the loneliness where you were at your perceived rock bottom and then, excuse me, and then into the next transition of, like, the lonely stage of growth, and I'd love for you to talk more about that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so I heard this being talked about with Chris Williamson and Alex Ramosi, who are two of my favorite like podcasts or influences influences on my day-to-day just resonate really well with those guys. But they talked about this topic the lonely stage and it was something that I had been experiencing but didn't know what was going on. And it's essentially as you grow and you begin to again, like I said, raise your standards and become super tunnel vision and focus on what you want to achieve in each domain of your life. You begin to feel disconnected from people who maybe you were close with previously, or just people in general.
Speaker 1:Because what happens, at least from my perspective, is the way I've been growing is I view the world in a totally different perspective now than I used to. I believe I look at the world with a lot more nuance than black and white. And so what now than I used to, I believe I look at the world with a lot more nuance than black and white. And so what happens is I used to have conversations with people that didn't really bother me because I wasn't thinking what I would call it at a higher level, and now that I think that I'm growing in that perspective and I'm trying to understand different situations and why people behave and act the way that they are, and the way that the world works, the landscape works, is I just find myself kind of being more disconnected and isolated from other circles, and so the lonely stages I'm outgrowing and there's nobody I'm talking about in particular here. So, like friends that listen to this, I'm probably not talking about you.
Speaker 1:Or maybe you are, but no, I get it Right and it's just like I'm probably not talking about you, or maybe you are Right, and it's just like I've kind of grown out of a certain circle, I would say, and I've yet to find my new circle of people who have similar visions of you know what success looks like. And so it's like I'm operating in this neutral, isolation zone where I don't have that same demographic or group of people that I used to be able to go to with everything. And now it's like, hey, I'm operating in this space, but the reality is, I actually think, reflecting back, obviously it's like this is just the sign that I'm going somewhere. That's special, it's unique by definition. I can't be chasing average. If I want to be exceptional, if I want to be exceptional, I have to be an exception. In order to be an exception, you have to be isolated. That is where that part came for me and why it stuck so deeply with me.
Speaker 2:That's interesting. Again, I know you and I have had talks about religion and stuff, and not that we're going there. But, again, if you're a spiritual person or if you're like you know some people believe that, like, the isolation is the preparation, right, like, again, you know that God or the universe or whatever you believe in, that they're using that time to prepare you for what is next. And it's it's interesting because isolation is not fun, right, I think you and I have talked about solitary, solitary confinement. That's the worst thing that they could do for people in prison.
Speaker 2:And finding that community and that group of people, the five people you surround yourself with, that you want to aspire to be, that push and challenge you, those are all things. But it's not until you're in the isolation that you understand what you want that to look like or what you're craving and what you're searching for. And I, like, I love that because I, I think I'm in a similar place as you get different situation. But like the way you articulate that, that's really rad and I, like, I want, I'm going to reflect on that because I really like how you said that.
Speaker 1:I appreciate that and it's no, it's not always a fun stage like you said and the isolation, like you know, solitary confinement like it's, we need human interaction right. It's really important to get those fixes. But you know, to be able to turn kind of the lonely stage or isolation into a stepping stone or into, you know a skill or you know I say superpower too often, but when you can use it to your advantage and understand reflectively where you are, it can be empowering.
Speaker 2:I mean again your next, your next note, your next subject right, the art of radical acceptance. That's exactly what you're talking about, man, like it's, it's understanding where you're at and reflecting and sitting in it and accepting it. But then also, I think that there's more moving forward. But how did you come to this notion?
Speaker 1:Yeah. So radical acceptance is one of the hardest things as a coach that I struggle to teach, and because there's really no other way than to accept that there's certain circumstances that are out of your control. You cannot change them, so you can't waste your energy in fighting them. And I always make the analogy right. Part of the reason we love athletics and competition so much, whether consciously or subconsciously, is because every time we step onto that field or court we know that there's a chance that we may lose. That's part of the adrenaline, that's part of the rush and the thrill is I don't know if I'm going to win. I think I'm going to win, I believe it, but I really don't know. And so the first step and I believe to competing or to moving through hardship or overcoming adversity, is you have to accept certain things are possible outcomes, right. Like with my knee, I have to accept that I may never fully recover, or had to accept I may never fully recover. That was a possibility. Okay. Now, once I accept that and I understand that that's a possibility, right, I don't have to like it. Okay, that's not.
Speaker 1:Acceptance doesn't mean you like it or you stop or you give up. It just means you accept a range of outcomes, you accept a possibility. Okay, then, once you do that, you can forget about it. Once you have acknowledged that this is a possibility, whatever the case is going on in your life, the bad outcome is a possibility. Once you realize that and accept that, then you can direct your energy into the good things. Then I can be fully positive from there and bring in those. I am going to be healthy, I am 100% healthy. I'm going to get there. I am getting there, right it's you know. Accept the negative, understand you may not like it, understand it's possible. And then it's put all your energy into the good stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, I mean, it's the ultimate gift of presence. Right, like again, that's what? Mindfulness meditation, all that stuff. It brings you to the moment and like it's like okay, this is, this is what's happening, this is where I'm at and I cannot change it everywhere I've. Everything that has happened has brought me to this moment. All of this is where it is Great. Now, where are we going now? Where do I want to go? How do I take the steps forward? How do I create the vision and the journey where I'm trying to go? But I love the fact that it has to start with accepting where you're at.
Speaker 1:It's like. It's like an immovable object. If I come to you know a crossroad and there's a big boulder and it's, I cannot move it. Why would I stand there and push and try and move it? I either go around.
Speaker 2:I'm just picturing you trying to do that.
Speaker 1:It's the reality that to you. Well, it's the reality. So it's like, if I can't move it, okay, I hear my options, I can go over it, I can go around it, I can backtrack, which is the most painful, but if I backtrack and then maybe I can find a different road around it, yeah, so it's just like putting these, you know, metaphorical experiences into practice, right? So if I'm experiencing something that really you know, there of pain, we talk about deeply personal pain, losing loved ones, things that will cut us deeper than anything, for athletes, losing at a high championship that you may never get back to or it was your last chance.
Speaker 1:Those hurt, they suck, there may not be a lesson in those, so you have to radically accept those circumstances can't be changed, they have happened, and so you just have to then look and direct your energy into what's going to move you forward. And that doesn't mean it's easy, it's just you have really no, no matter what happens, and it goes back to the storytelling it's I have to use this to somehow move me forward. And that doesn't mean you neglect emotions or anything, it's just learning how to use your energy properly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's part of it, right. It's understanding, reflecting and then making a decision. And again, you mentioned energy there. Right For number five, you've got here mastering energy management, the first sentence that you have in your little recap, which, again, I'm going to encourage you to make sure that you share all this written, because you're a great wordsmith whenever it comes to writing as well, but you have time, isn't your most precious resource? Energy is, and I would love for you to elaborate on that, continued on that energy continuum.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's. You know, I look at kind of everything on like a graph perspective. Yes, we have, you know, some type of finite time in this world, but really what's going to dictate the maximization of that time is where our energy is spent. So if I'm constantly spending energy in the wrong places, on the wrong things with the wrong people, that timeframe is going to feel drastically shorter and less well spent. So if I want to maximize my time, I need to not worry about the time. Right? If I'm just focused on the time, that doesn't really direct my energy in the proper place.
Speaker 1:But if I'm focused on my energy, which I have a finite source of, I can, you know, audit the type of people I'm interacting with. I can audit, you know, the type of work that I'm doing. I can audit the type of conversations I'm having at home. I can audit the you know the amount of energy I'm putting into social media, to negativity, things like that. And the more aware I become of where my energy is spent, it becomes much easier to say yes or no to things. So if someone comes to me and it's like I have to debate, oh, do I really want to do this? It becomes a no, because then when I say no, I'm saying yes to something else and if I say yes, I'm saying no to something that may be more viable to me.
Speaker 1:And I think and this is going to come up in a future episode that I have with Dr Julie Gerner, which is going to be one of my favorite episodes already for 2025, is people from the outside. Excuse me, confuse self-preservation with selfishness. Outside, excuse me, confused self-preservation with selfishness. If I'm trying to preserve myself and my energy, that's not selfish, that's just literally taking care of yourself. And you see a lot of people out there who burn out in different endeavors in life, whether personal or professional, because they're just not allocating their energy properly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. And again, a couple of things you said in my. Corey and I, my wife, we were talking about this the other day. Right, if it's, if it's not a hell, yes, then it's a hell, no, right, like, again, and it's, it's under, and I think that you, these are lessons, again, these are lessons you've learned in 2025, of 2024 and through your guests.
Speaker 2:But, like, this is something you have to learn throughout your lifetime. Right, like, and who who is poor and filling your cup? Right, who is giving you more energy? Right, like this conversation, you text me and I'm, like, you know, like I wanted to do it and we had some stuff planned. I talked to Corey, cause I made the ask, cause the kids are at home or on break and everything, but, like, I know that this is a good use of my energy and I also know that I will leave with more energy because of this, because this is an area that I love and thrive in.
Speaker 2:So, like, I love the fact that, like, you're paying attention to where your energy is being spent as opposed to where your time is going, Because time, yes, is that's the only resource that we know, that we don't know when it will run out, right. But, like the cool thing is energy, we can kind of feel it and that goes back to if we're even scrolling back right, like a couple of things you said, like art of radical acceptance, right, like, uh understand, authoring your own story, nature of rock bottom, like all of these things that you've gone through lead you to understand more where you are and what you need to do to move forward, which is pretty cool. I appreciate that. Two, three, four. So our next one. This is number four on your list and it's one I think that you have a lot of experience around, so I want to hear you talk about it. But pain life's masterclass.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so this honestly goes very well too with the, you know authoring your own story. But really, pain, as unfortunate as it is in it, can be really detrimental in a number of different ways. Um, it's really where you learn the most about yourself. When everything is going against you, when nothing is going your way, it's either do I tap out and quit or do I, you know, pick myself up and keep moving forward, whether it's literally crawling I think we see stories of military guys who literally have broken bones, have been shot, and are literally crawling for their life.
Speaker 1:At that point in time, that person is going to learn the most about themselves.
Speaker 1:It's I was able to overcome, I was able to endure, I was able to conquer through this pain, and I always talk about, you know, the price that you have to pay. And so I always say if I want to be, you know, resilient or I want to be courageous, I have to earn those. There's a price to pay for those things, and so to go through that pain that's when it teaches me the most about myself is hey, I've proven to myself I'm never going to quit. Like I don't care what the odds are, I don't care what's thrown at me Like I'm not going to quit, and that's. You know, in order to kind of get that, that confidence, you have to go through some pain, um, and there's certainly people in this world who have gone through significantly more pain than me. Um, that's just how I look at it, right, and it's that pain is your greatest teacher, um, and sometimes, you know, when you endure that pain, it can be pretty rewarding on the other side.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, when you're talking this stuff, I mean guys like David Goggins come to mind right Like again, and he talks about the pain cave and things like that. There was a guy at, uh, when I did running man last year with my brother out out in Georgia, this Navy SEAL crit, I think his name was Chris a butcher, but like he was talking about. You don't get pain of voice, right, when you're doing the like with these endurance things. You don't get pain of voice when somebody asks you how you're doing. You're saying you're outstanding, right Like, and it's because, again, it's, it's that spending of energy, it's creating the, it's creating, it's creating the positive narrative, even in the pain, that I'm moving forward, that I, I, I'm choosing to do this, I am okay because I know where my threshold is. And, man, those moments when you're moving past that, like I get that. That's where you learn the most, particularly when you look back at it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no one wants to be there and you know I'll be the first one to tell you. You know, know, it's not like I want to experience, you know, lots of pain. I'll go through a bunch of surgeries, you know, it's just. You know, when we can, when we can create some in or some voluntary pain in our life, it makes the involuntary pain, you know, hurt a little bit less and it makes us more prepared. Know, hurt a little bit less and it makes us more prepared. And when we're in that pain again on the other side, it's like look at where I started, look to where I came and look at everything that I've learned in between. And so it's just when you're in the thick of it and you're in the pain and you're looking for, you know, something to grasp onto, or light at the end of the tunnel, you know it's always this will teach me the most about myself.
Speaker 2:That's what I tell myself. There is this will be part of the story. I one day tell, oh yeah, and again I love the tie back to story and it makes me think, like I've. I think Huberman, andrew Huberman talks about, like, again, choosing to do hard things daily, right, like that cold plunging, different things, like that, because again you're, you're strengthening yourself through the challenge, through the pain, through all of that stuff. So like that's 100% and again it's a choice, right. So this ties kind of to our next one this is number three on your list the self-fulfilling prophecy of energy. Right, here's another energy. Yeah, that was back at number five. Here it's number three again, and we're talking about energy again and obviously it's important, so go ahead.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So this one, honestly too, is like for like the difference between being a positive poly or, you know, manifestation guru and just really what being positive day to day like, looks like and sounds like, and it's just looking to be opportunistic or believing in yourself and just having it in unbelievably wired belief in the good in life. It's hunting the good things, right. So it's, you know, I wake up and it's a rainy day and it sucks outside. You know you can reframe that positively in a number of different ways. Hey, this is going to make me enjoy sunny days better. Hey, I'm still willing to get up and do something when somebody else doesn't. This is my advantage. Or hey, I get to wear this cool hat or article clothing I don't get to wear when it's sunny and 75.
Speaker 1:And it's just what you do with the self-fulfilling prophecies.
Speaker 1:If I'm negative all the time and always talking about the bad things and the things that suck, it's going to wire my brain to see everything that sucks.
Speaker 1:And then, all of a sudden, everything in the world is going to feel like it's operating against me, like I can't get a break, or everything is against me and it's me against the world and the victim mindset and so reality, what this is, the self-fulfilling prophecy, is not oh, everything's okay, I just got shot in the knee today, I'm so happy about it. No, it's just, I'm looking for the good in life, and when I hunt the good things, I'm looking for the good in life, and when I hunt the good things, I find the good things. I start to see them everywhere where normal people can't, and it's like you begin to attract in the world what you put out into the world. And that's very different than saying everything's okay or it's just understanding that there is good always, and the more I seek that good and the more I have that innate belief in myself, the more I'll be able to do more good and the more I'll be able to see more good and the more the good will find me.
Speaker 2:That's so good, man, even though you were going, good, I had to keep it. It's so good because it's like, okay, you've got ailments, you've got all this stuff going on, but when you wake up in the morning, right, it's giving thanks that you have the gift of another day. Right, like whether it's raining outside or not. Right, like and. But again, that's a learned behavior, that's something, and you have to choose that, even when you get woken up by your kids, or you've got this, you got a test, or you've got whatever, that, like, all of this is a choice to see, and it goes back to the self-awareness too. Hey, this is my situation, this is my reality, and I'm choosing to do this because, again, it is a choice. Man, I love that because you've done that for me, right, just through some conversations that we've had, through text and whatnot, like you know, challenged me with some of my wording on some different stuff, and I can tell that that's something that you live and embrace daily.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's. You know, I think our language dictates the way we see the world, and so if I can be specific with my language and I can be specific with the way I define the things around me, it makes me very easy to see the world in a certain light. And I mean, I'll be the first one to tell you I fail all the time, you know, in a lot of different ways, particularly you particularly being positive. But what I'm good at now that I wasn't previously is I catch myself a lot sooner. So as soon as I'm going down a negative pathway, I cut it off and I immediately go look for something good or something that brings me up.
Speaker 1:And sometimes I think people have this weird relationship with money too. But sometimes I might go buy myself a cup of coffee. That just might be what I need to be my spark of something good. I might go buy myself a steak, being able to use something, anything to immediately change negative to a positive or to again hunt that good. Because the more I can hunt that good and I can create a spark, then I can just build off of it.
Speaker 2:It goes back to something you said earlier in a previous. It was the rock bottom, right. It's going to look different for everybody too, right? What that is, what that spark can be, is going to be different for me versus you. That's okay, but it's understanding what that is and how you get to those quicker.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:That's so good. All right, let's keep motoring on the list. We got two left. This is number two, if we're kind of like. Second most important kind of takeaway from your 2024 reflections reframing sacrifice as a commitment. Sacrifice is not, sacrifice is like that's a tough word, so I want your thoughts on this.
Speaker 1:And, honestly, I tried to build these off of one another.
Speaker 2:So you thoughts on this. Honestly, I tried to build these off of one another. You've done a great job. I'll tell you it's a great ladder.
Speaker 1:The self-fulfilling prophecy of energy goes right into this. Again, it's a negative to positive reframe. Think about it If I am deciding what movie I want to watch one night with my wife and we pick a movie, I'm not sitting there thinking about the loss of the other movies I didn't choose. I'm sitting there and drawing the movie I did choose. And it's the same thing in life.
Speaker 1:If we are pursuing something building a company, playing in the NFL, playing in the MLB yes, sacrifice comes with that. But stop looking at it from what you have to lose and start looking at everything that you have to gain. So me saying no to going out and drinking on a Thursday night is me gaining a better performance on Saturday or Sunday, and it's hey. Me saying no going to a bachelor weekend is me saying yes to future business opportunities and having better programming and better relationships built and better results from whatever my coaching is, from whatever my podcasting is. Again, energy we only have so much of it, so put it into the good things. Focus on everything that I have to gain, not what I'm losing.
Speaker 2:How do you determine what's the proper sacrifice?
Speaker 1:how do you determine what's the proper sacrifice? And so I really don't. I don't use that word right, like I really don't. I do not say sacrifice like it's. I line up what are my goals, what are my priorities, right, whether it's today, whether it's for a week, whether it's for a month, whether it's for a year, whether it's for my entire life. Right, and understanding what my priorities are.
Speaker 1:And if it does not align directly with my priority, I say no and then I don't think of it as a sacrifice. I think it was a commitment to that priority, right? So if I'm with my family and it's my family time, and someone texts me right With an opportunity, if that does not surpass, right, my priorities in that moment, it's a no and I don't think about it. If my friend asked me hey, let's go grab a bite at the local bar, watch a game, but I'm sitting there with my daughter, right, coloring or painting, I'm going to say no and I'm not going to think about that FOMO, you know, that fear of missing out. I'm going to think of this as opportunity that my daughter might remember forever. Right and just and just focusing on those things. And that's how you get out of that balance and get and learn to periodize and learn what goes where. Where's my commitment level?
Speaker 2:I think we could do a whole episode on it, because here's the thing right, it's your commitment. You talked about, like almost like pillars, right, or what, what, the, what the standards are, what you're trying to operate towards, and I think that later on maybe in in 2025, we could do a full episode just kind of understanding, and you can talk about how you do that, because I think that that's I think that's a very innate skill that not a lot of people have and then use that as their systems of checks and balances. There are some people out there that do a good job at, and I like how you articulated that, so I'm going to put a pin in that and make sure it will like we should do an episode about that, just so you can talk about, like, how you determine those commitments and you figure that out.
Speaker 1:As you can tell, it's one of my favorite things. You know, I've reframed it and learned this year number two, but no, it really it has. I think I say it too often, but it's changed my life in terms of the way I view my day to day.
Speaker 2:I dig that and I think, candidly, I probably need more of that. So I'm sure we'll probably talk more about that offline as well, but I think that a lot of people would benefit hearing your structure on that, so we'll make sure that we bring that one to life too. All right, colin, we're at number one. 2024 has been a long year for many people and, again, this is your reflection from 2024, from your guests, and I think it's very applicable to what I know about you and how we've grown together. But, like you've titled this one, the obsession advantage and if there's anything that I've I've learned quickly in the time that we've spent together, is obsession is something that you uh, you are very, very good at, and it can be very healthy. So I want you to explain this to me and anybody else that's listening. Like what does this mean to you and why is it number one?
Speaker 1:Yes, I have. I was going to use the word obsession of high performance in how do we get there? From physically, mentally, emotionally, diet, nutrition, everything, it's everything that goes into it. How do we level up, maximize, become the best version of ourselves?
Speaker 1:And anyone that I've talked to, anything that I've read when they're describing those elite achievers in the world and I'll break it down here in a minute but if we're talking about just like athletic performance, if we're talking about building a company, those CEOs the number one description of every single one of them is they are obsessed. They wake up, they immediately start working and they don't go to sleep until they get everything done that they want. But a lot of them, not everyone but it doesn't feel like work to them all the time. They just have this immense gas tank and they're unbelievably deliberate and intentional with where their energy and work goes, and most of that is into their sport, into their company, and so, in an unjudgmental way, we have to look at each endeavor of our life and say am I obsessed or am I not? And for every level of thing that you're not obsessed about, you have to be okay with the person who is beating you, and so I've gotten really comfortable in my life with that and being able to humbly say the person who's obsessed in this endeavor and I am not I can never beat Okay, and so it brings an equilibrium to what I'm willing to commit to right and my goals.
Speaker 1:That's what we want. We want that equilibrium between what our goals are and what our commitment level is. So for me, to be honest with you, I'm obsessed with being a really good father and husband. That is my number one above everything else. And so for people in business who don't have that priority, they're probably going to beat me in certain realms and I'm okay with that. But what I am obsessed with is I'm obsessed with perfecting my own crafts of question asking and writing and learning and bringing out the best of myself in different domains, and so that's where I feel I'm really good is trying to increase my own self-awareness and my understanding of the world. So when it comes to question asking or dialogues or writing, I'm just going to get better and better and I'm going to upskill a lot faster than other people who don't. But you just have to unjudgmentally and truly not look at yourself and judge yourself, because you have different obsessions and different priorities and someone you may be competing with.
Speaker 2:See, and I was going to ask that, right, because the interesting thing and this goes, this is a full ladder, right, like everything that you've talked about, because, again, it ties back to the self-awareness piece. It ties back to all of these different things and understanding from an internal perspective what is important to you. What are you going to obsess over? And I appreciate you comparing yourself to an uber successful business person. Right, if you're obsessed with being the best husband and father that you absolutely can, be right, you are going to sacrifice things, not sacrifice you. I'm going to go back and reframe that sacrifice as you're committing to different things that you can then obsess after and it keeps you moving forward. This ties back to understanding more of what those pillars are and what the things that you want to obsess after. And I think that that's one of the bigger missing pieces just today from so many people is many people don't know what they want to obsess after.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's a point right we don't define in our lives what success looks like. If you don't define in your life what success looks like, how can you ever achieve success? And then it goes back to the productivity standpoint how can you ever be happy if you don't know what success looks like in your life? And so I have to from a relationship standpoint, from a spirituality standpoint, from a physical standpoint. From a spirituality standpoint, from a physical standpoint, from a professional standpoint I have to identify standards right, because I'll say this I hate the saying how you do anything is how you do everything. Inherently, not true.
Speaker 1:I'm going to put my time and energy into things that I care about right. So if all my time and energy is going into certain things, right. So, for example, I may not be very good at cleaning the dishes, okay. If I clean the dishes and do a half-ass effort, that doesn't mean I'm going to put a half-ass effort into building my company, right. I only have so much time and energy. So I have to be incredibly detailed, deliberate and purposeful with where that goes.
Speaker 1:And so that's where you have to have your standards. You have to define in your life, in the Steph Curry's, lebron James, those you're born with a certain tendency to be obsessive, but we all have things that we, that we become obsessed with, and it's the more you can learn and define things, the more that you'll find things that you become obsessed with that you never thought that you would be. There's things I do now. I never thought that I would enjoy growing up, in particular talking about mental health. You know, if you talk to anybody anybody who grew up with me, even who played college football with me, they would never guess that I would be doing this exact thing I'm doing today.
Speaker 2:But it's interesting, right, and it's leaning into some of these things and, even if taking a step further right and embracing the discomfort, embracing the the uh, the pain along the way, right, because, again, those are the things that are going to, that bring you to where you are right now, and again, like I know that you've got, I'm scrolling back through right, like, but, man, all of this ties back to if this is a big circle, for me it's not a ladder, it's a big circle because everything ties back to, even just the number 10 that we talked about.
Speaker 2:Author in your own story. Right, all of this is about ourselves, self-awareness and creating the life that we want, creating the vision that we want out of our lives, and I think that that's one of the things that, as I just sit and our time is spent together, I know that this is something you're being intentional about how you are trying to live and create and what you're trying to bring to life, and this list is no different. But it's all about authoring our own story, and we're the only ones who get to do that, and I love that. You kind of inadvertently brought it back around too.
Speaker 1:And, honestly, my wife texted me shortly before we hopped on and she just texted me. She was like I'm stressed and I was like about what? And she said life. And I was like, well, I'm excited. And she was like what do you mean? I was like I think it's going to be our best year yet and you know what?
Speaker 1:At the end of the day, here's what enables me to be excited, and not everyone is fortunate enough to have grown up with my background or experiences. We all have different lenses in which we view the world, but here's what I know no matter what, I will always be able to provide a house for my family, I will always be able to ensure that my kids are fed, and I will die before those things don't happen. Okay, so I have those checked off as the minimal things, and I could live a pretty darn happy life knowing that they're taken care of and we have a house over our head. If I had to live my worst day over and over and over again, I could do it, and so that provides me solace in knowing that, no matter what comes next, I'm going to be excited for the potential things to just get better, because if I focus on the bad, the bad will come. If I focus on the good, the good will come.
Speaker 2:It's so true, man, it's so true. And again, I love how you continue to reframe right. Like that's I love the same thing, but like I don't want it to get lost on how you inspire people through your words and actions and how you challenge people even myself, who's many years older than you. Like the journey that you're on right, like you're on it for a reason, you're living it intentionally and you're doing it daily and I just I wanted to make sure that I recognize, I recognize you in that and just even the the amount that I've seen from a growth perspective from when you and I just connected really earlier this year. It's. It's been pretty cool to see and I'm forever grateful that you know our lives have have intersected for sure, man.
Speaker 1:Well, I appreciate you, steve. And, uh, you know, guys, this is the man behind the scenes who really gets everything up and running here. I couldn't do this show without him. He's an integral part of what we do, so I wanted to make sure I brought him on this episode with me so we could unpack some of these lessons that we've definitely learned together. Um so, steve, I appreciate you running through this with me. Um, listeners, hey, thank you for tuning in. Make sure to tune in next week. We got our new set of guests coming on. Um, download the podcast, go subscribe to our YouTube channel. Five stars only, baby. Check us out at athleticfortitudecom. You.