The Playbook with Colin Jonov
Formerly The Athletic Fortitude Show.... Colin Jonov’s Athletic Fortitude Show has rebranded to The Playbook with Colin Jonov, evolving from a sports-centric podcast to a universal guide for mastering life’s challenges. While retaining its foundation in mindset and performance excellence, the show now expands its scope to empower everyone—athletes, entrepreneurs, professionals, and beyond—to live life to its fullest potential
The Playbook with Colin Jonov
How To Silence Your Inner Critic- Luke Falk and AJ Shavell
We unpack how to quiet the inner critic, channel ownership, and build confidence through controllables, forgiveness, and identity-driven habits. Luke Falk shares the exact tools that turned “not clutch” into Cool Hand Luke and how simple application beats complex theory.
• control the controllables to lower anxiety and raise performance
• person A vs person B mindset reframes and daily intention setting
• identify, disprove, and replace inner critic narratives
• clearing and forgiveness as performance skills to remove mental venom
• three-to-one tracker for skill-based reflection and growth
• entitlement vs ownership and why success is rented daily
• competence builds confidence through disciplined habits
• mission, values, roles and aligning calendar and energy
• presence over balance and practical breath and senses resets
• simplification of systems for better application and coaching
• quarterback complexity, signal over noise, and pure progressions
• resources, books, and where to get The Mind Strength Playbook
Tune in next week, download the pod, subscribe to our YouTube channel. Five stars only, baby.
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Luke, a theme in your book is person A and person B. How do you keep yourself accountable to being the person that you want to be?
SPEAKER_02:That's a great question. I think you need to continually evaluate yourself each and every day. And I think I think a lot of people are reactive. And one of the things I learned from my sports psychologist is if you don't occupy the space, negativity comes in. So how are you starting your day at each, you know, I know a lot of people talk about morning routines and all that. It doesn't have to be much. You know, for when I was uh an athlete, it was I'm gonna write down three skills that I'm focusing on this day that I can control. What are these three things that I can control? Because a lot of people, what do they do? They focus on the outcomes, they focus on what people think of them, they focus on the comparison. Well, he got me to retrain my mind and focus on what are the skills that I can control, right? And I talk about my book and I learned from him because in sports psychology, when you focus on things you can control, your anxiety decreases, and then therefore your opportunity for performance to increase goes up. How about your quality of life? Same thing. So most people, though, they're like the backseat driver. They're focusing on things they can't control. They don't have control of the wheel, so guess what? Their anxiety is very high and they don't enjoy the ride. Therefore, their performance and quality of life goes down. So by starting your day out and focusing on, okay, what can I control and what am I going to focus on? And just have it be three things. So it's not much, right? Less is more. And then that way that can get you on a good path for, hey, for this day, this is the type of person, these are the values, these are the things that I want to do. Because quite frankly, when I was, you know, we talk about you, I opened the book up, right? Person A, person B to a certain degree, even my my tell of two, right? The two careers. It's like, well, in one scenario, I was great doing my mind strength. I was disciplined with it. I had grid. I had consistency, I had resilience, all that. Then in, you know, person B's scenario to a certain degree, well, I quit doing that stuff. I allowed the trappings of success to come in. And I quit owning my day. I allowed myself to be the victim. I allowed myself to have negative responses and react really to life rather than being proactive to that approach. So I think it really starts with, you know, you got to be conscious first, right? It's like the unconscious will rule your life until it becomes conscious, as Carl Jung says. It's like you must become conscious of your thoughts, your daily actions, because therefore then you can change. So I think that's really a big point within my coaching and the book itself. Even, you know, I talk about the inner critic. Well, if you're not, if you're not aware of those inner critic thoughts, then how are you ever going to change them? Right? How are you ever going to be able to shift your belief system if you're allowing these negative thoughts to rule your day each day? Because I think a lot of people, they're not even aware of it. They're not even aware of it. They're just unconsciously thinking, well, this is just the way I am, rather than no. No, no, you can consciously change. It's just like anything in life, though. It's going to take discipline and daily action.
SPEAKER_00:That inner critic, a lot of high-performing athletes, part of what makes them so successful is dealing with that inner critic. How do you maintain that competitive energy without tearing yourself down? And how do you deal with that criticism internally?
SPEAKER_02:That's a good question, too. I I mean, I listened to Jerry Rice talk about how he let fear be his motivation for him working so dang hard. And I think guys are just motivated in different ways. I know that I felt like I operated best when I wasn't in that fear-based mindset, though, and where I was more in alignment with not allowing those inner critic thoughts to happen. And that's why chapter three is my favorite chapter, because you know, so much of what you do in coaching, right? You you hear an idea and you you take it yourself and then you you put rapping on it and you you figure that out. Well, chapter three, yeah, those ideas, they're universal truths. I got them from other people. But what I love about the exercise is it's it's very original to me and what I've done. I've never seen that particular way of being able to handle the inner critic and going from, you know, hey, this is what you've got, this is your belief system, this is how we can flip it on its head. And, you know, the exercise I had, I used to believe that I wasn't a clutch player. And that inner critic, I don't think that motivated me or helped me or any of that stuff. All it did is when I got in those scenarios, I'm like, oh crap, here we go again. I'm not gonna be able to, you know, get it done. And therefore, that's exactly what happened because I'm a big believer that the story you make up, the story you tell yourself, really drives your response. So if I had a negative story in that regard, guess what? I got a negative response. I'm thinking, shoot, it's already done. I'm there's no chance for me. But by going through this exercise that I created, it's like, no, no, no, where'd that come from? Oh, that came from these two scenarios right here. Okay, rather than viewing that as a fixed mindset, what can I learn from them? Is there learning in there rather than thinking that just because that happened, it's gonna happen to me over and over and over again? Okay, there's the learning right there. Great. Okay, are there people involved, right? It's like people involved, comparison, an event. So in that case, there's an event, perfect, got that. Then it's like, okay, what's the empty well right there? And I think there's there's a few um, I think there's a few things that people allow themselves to um disempower themselves with, which is empty well. Somebody told you something that they're probably not qualified, right? I see this in high school sports all the time, or youth sports in particular, right? I allowed a youth sport or a youth coach to really impact me in a negative way. And the highest level football I ever played was probably a mop-up duty JV, and the highest level football I ever coached was probably 10-year-old football. And here he is telling, you know, saying things to me that, you know, you can't be a great quarterback. It's like, that's an empty well, right? That's an empty well. I'm not listening to he's not Tom Brady, he's not, you know, Peyton Manning, he's not Bill Belichick, whatever that is. Another one's like the comparison trap, right? You compare yourself to somebody else. And we do this all the time. Like I worked with an athlete, and she had never, she's a college basketball player, she had never done any strength lifting or weightlifting. And then here she gets to college and she's comparing herself to a gal who had been training since middle school. And it's like, I think we unfairly compare ourselves, which can create an inner critic seed. And then the third one is like, hey, used a past performance to really make that your identity. Oh, because I had done that, like I said, it's gonna happen again. In my case with the the uh comeback victories, like I wasn't clutch. And that's just totally false. You have three daughters, or three daughters, or just three kids. What do you got?
SPEAKER_00:Two daughters, one boy.
SPEAKER_02:Two daughters, one boy. So you've seen them learn how to walk. And at the beginning part, right, it's like they weren't good at it, right? They're stumbling, they're falling, and you don't hear your kids going, well, I just I'm not a very good walker. I guess I'll never learn how to walk again. It's like, no, no, no. They don't have that mentality, they don't have that fixed mentality. Yet I don't know where we adopted that in our own life because you know, if we took the same approach that your kids had, what do we do? We learn from it, and then we applied the learning, and then that's how you grow. So in my case, that was a really aha moment for me. Okay, what did I learn in that situation? Well, I allowed myself to focus on all the things I couldn't control, worrying about how many recruiting stars I had. My dad brought in one particular game, so we're playing a team called Mountain Crest. That's my senior year, big game, rivalry. And my dad brought a former coach of mine that I did not like. So the whole game, I'm just trying to show him that I'm a great player and I'm just thinking about what he's thinking about me in the stance. And at the same time, too, right? Obviously the outcomes of the game, the anxiety I had. So all those things that I'm focused on, the things I can't control, spike my anxiety through the roof, and therefore I played that. So what's the learning? Okay, focus on my skills, focus on my breath work, focus on the things that I can control. And then, you know, there's another part in there I call clearing where you you you literally get all the venom out of you. You get you get that stuff out, the previous first, whatever, this, that, and the other. Then you create new truths, which is, hey, I'm gonna create some new affirmations for myself, some new thoughts for myself to create a new strong belief system. And then voila, guess what? You're on your path to being able to create a new belief system for yourself, but you got to consistently do it. And through that cycle, through that period right there, I know just 90,000 foot view, not even 40,000 foot view on that, went way, way above. But through doing that, then I was able to retrain my belief system with these particular areas, especially that, hey, can't be clutch. Well, I became cool hand luke in college. I'm known for uh, hey, when when the game was on the line, we were gonna get it done. I mean, that was the belief system because of this work that I had done. And it's my favorite accomplishment I've ever done as a player, and and almost maybe even in life to a certain degree degree, because I had such a poor belief system. I I really, really struggle with confidence, especially in those, oh my gosh, here it is. It's two-minute drive. There's no way my nerves are gonna take over. I'm not clutch to, you know what, I think we had seven fourth quarter comebacks in college in that, in that short span. I mean, that's pretty impressive, not to mention the four-minute drives. And obviously that's with great teammates, great coaches, but if I don't have a great belief system, if I don't have a belief system that I can do it, we're done.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, no, that's that that's phenomenal, Luke, in terms of kind of how you're you're framing it, how you thought about it, and how it worked for you. I think the hardest thing that we see with people is really breaking the habit of being themselves to become the person they want to be in terms of, as you mentioned, changing the framework of really the beliefs as you go through. And there's a lot of different topics you hit on in terms of self-awareness, in terms of the language, in terms of the discipline and the habits. So, going, I guess, can we expound a little bit on that example you mentioned in terms of kind of where you started to going into Cool Hand Luke? Like, what did the process look like in terms of building that confidence, let's say from here to here as you were kind of walking through it? You mentioned the skills, you've mentioned breath work, you've mentioned that. Like, what did it look like? What did you start out with in terms of kind of your journey?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, well, first is to identify those inner critic thoughts. So, you know, in chapter three, I talk about the very first step, you've got to identify the inner critic thoughts. And for me, it was, hey, I can't perform in the clutch. The second thing is, well, where did that, where did that come from? And usually you ask yourself, do you think of somebody when you, you know, when you look at this inner critic thought, is there somebody that pops your mind? Coach, parent, you know, yourself, maybe. I don't know where it comes from. Did you compare yourself to somebody? And lastly, hey, was there an event that didn't go your way? So in my case, there were two high school games in particular. I had one freshman year and I had that game my senior year I just told you about. Well, the freshman year, we tied the game up, which was a clutch thing, yet I choose not, I chose not to look at it that way. And then we went for two to try to win the game. And I had a guy open and I dirted the ball. And it was like, that's where that inner critic seed got planted right there. Then the third step is well, how do you disempower that? How do you disempower that? Because that I think that's false evidence right there. That's just the story I'm telling myself. Remember, so the story you make up about something drives your response. So I needed to reframe the story I told myself rather than, oh, I'm not clutch, look at that. That's evidence, which a lot of people do. Hey, because I've done that, look at that. That's evidence that I can't do it or that it's gonna happen again. So it was reframing my mind. No, no, no, those aren't evidence. That's just learning if I view to see it that way. What did I do? Okay. I was focusing on the things I couldn't control. I was focused on worrying about what people thought of me, my recruiting stars, whether I'm gonna play, whether we're gonna be undefeated. Because that freshman team, we would have had an undefeated season. So I'm really thinking about the outcome. That senior year, I'm focused on the coaches in the stands. I'm focused on I had no, I had no uh scholarship offers at that point. I guess I had an Idaho, but it was about to get pulled. You know what I mean? So I'm focused on all of the wrong things. So what's the learning? Okay, focus on what I can control, my breath work, my affirmations, my actual responsibility, jobs, my read, whatever that looks like. So that's my learning. And then the next time in the next scenario I do that, now I'm that's what I'm gonna focus on. Those three skills I was talking about at the beginning. Well, before each drive, those are my intentions. Okay, can do mindset. All right, house money, I'm gonna pull the trigger no matter what. Okay, uh calm, cool, and collected. I'm gonna be even killed no matter what. Those are emotional and mental skills. And that keeps my mind off of am I gonna throw a touchdown? Am I gonna get a completion? You know, all the outcome stuff. So it helped me reduce my anxiety. You know, then another step is okay, what are those thoughts that I had? And then I I have this mechanism called clearing. And uh, I gotta tell you, it's my favorite skill, just transparently. I used it before games, uh, I used it when it comes to inner critic thoughts. And today, anytime I have a big talk, anytime I have anything like that, I'll go ahead and do it as well. I talk to my own mind strength coach to this day. Get on a 30-minute call or even an hour call and go through it. And what it is is, you know, I live in Utah. I think you guys, AJ, you're down in Texas, right? Yes, so you guys you got poisonous snakes. I don't know if you got them out there in the PA. I'm I'm sure you do. I hope we don't. But, you know, we we got rattlesnakes here in Utah. And if you get bit by a rattlesnake, it's not the bite that's gonna kill you, it's the venom that's left behind. And I learned that from Wayne Dyer. And, you know, people bite, right? Events bite, you yourself bite. And if you don't clear that out, it's like keeping the venom inside your body. And what it does, it's like these golf balls that'll just clog up the hose. And when you try to turn the water on, there's no flow. There's there's nothing coming out. So the mechanism to clear, in my opinion, is forgiveness. Is and I'll tell you, the the funny looks that I get when I go walk into these football buildings at the college level or even the high school level, or when I work with a basketball program, it's like, what? Forgiveness? How is that a mental skill? How is that gonna help me perform better? And I'm I'm I will slam the table every time because our mind doesn't have a delete button. We can't just stuff things away and think it's not gonna impact us. There's so much that happens, right? In the book, I describe some of the things that happen off the field that nobody would even know about. And if I let those things and I hold on to those things, it's just gonna clog me up individually, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, all of the above. So the mechanism is through forgiveness. And there's two parts to this. Who externally do I need to forgive, right? Do I need to forgive a coach, parent, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, friends, um, you know, a random person in that regard? How would it look? I forgive Coach Leach for benching me. I forgive my parents for the chaos that they were causing and the scenes that they were causing after certain games. I forgive whatever that looks like, right? And then take a deep breath in and then breathe it out and give it to God. Let it go. And then the internal piece is probably where you have the most shift. It's okay, what do you need to forgive yourself for in this regard? I forgive myself for allowing my confidence to get knocked by these outcomes that happened, they didn't go the way I wanted. I forgive myself for worrying so much about what people think. I forgive myself for having the fear and worry about getting injured in this game. Like whatever it is that you have fear around or worries or anxieties, you clear it. So in the inner critic example, though, it would be specifically to what that thought is. So I forgive myself for allowing myself to believe that I'm not a clutch player because of these scenarios. I forgive myself for being so worried and wrapped up about what people think of me that spiked my anxiety. You know what I mean? I forgive my dad for bringing that coach to the game and pulling my mind off of my responsibility. I forgive these coaches for not recruiting me. I forgive my teammates for maybe not supporting me in the way it is. Whatever it is that comes to your mind, clear it and forgive it. When I work with athletes first, our first session might be two minutes on doing this particular thing because they don't allow themselves to go there. They feel weird, they're self-conscious, right? I'm talking to them about forgiveness. Well, by session two, it's five minutes. By session, by session three, it's ten minutes. And as we continue to go, it's like they're allowing themselves to then become conscious of the things that have held them back, right? It's what we talked about before. You've got to become conscious of it. Most people just stuff it. They stuff it down, they don't deal with it. And then when we continue to pull this out, it's like freeing them up and they become lighter not only on the field, but I've, in my opinion, they become lighter off of them.
SPEAKER_00:How do you deal with the entitledness that comes with hard work? That we are owed an outcome because we work hard.
SPEAKER_02:Well, it's a lie. It's a complete lie. I I I went in that mindset where, oh, I've done all these things, therefore I I am entitled to it. Even in the NFL draft, well, I'm the all-time tactical passing leader. I'm the all-time wins leader at Washington State. I'm a walk-on. I went from this and this. I was supposed to be a second or third-round pick, and here I am a sixth-round pick. I felt entitled to it. So I think what it is, if you just let the athlete or the person that you're working with know, it's a complete lie. And if you have that type of mentality, guess what? You're going to be a victim. And if you're in the victim mentality, it's going to lead to some poor responses and you're going to get poor outcomes. So I think it's a constant, like, you know, I love, I think it was J.J. Watt that said, hey, success is ranted and rents to every day. That is the mentality that I think everybody needs to take in their, in their day. It's like brushing your teeth. If you don't brush your teeth every day, your teeth are going to rot. If you don't work for it every day, then your whatever is going to rot. Whatever you're looking for, whatever you're working towards is going to rot. Same thing with mind strength. It's a journey. Some so often, like I'll work with people and it's like, oh, you did, oh, you did the eight-week deal. That's great. That's great. That's a great foundation. That's a great step. It's not the destination. There is no destination when it comes to mind strength. There is no destination when it comes to life in general. I think it's a continual pursuit of becoming the best that you can be. And if you don't have that mindset, you're going to be way behind. So I think you just nail it on the head. Like, all right, if you have that mentality, this is what's going to happen. You're going to lead down this slippery slope called victim thinking. And therefore, what's going to happen? Poor response, poor outcome. And then you're going to be like me, wondering, what the heck just happened to you. And hopefully you can have some perspective. But, you know, one of my favorite quotes too is the teacher will appear when the student's ready. So sometimes when you work with somebody, you know, they don't get it and they won't get it. And you could do the best thing that you can. You could be the greatest coach in the world, but if somebody's not ready for it, they won't get it. And you can't worry about that as a coach because I can't control that. Now, if I worry about everybody's outcomes that I coach, guess what happens with my anxiety? It goes way up. So all I got to focus on as me as a coach is how can I give them the best opportunity to let the information sink in. And it's up to them whether it hits now or later. Because I've had some people that, not with mind strength in particular, but like in 2021 when I was doing some of this stuff, early, early, early, early on, they hit me up now because they saw a post I did and they go, that's what you were talking about. And it's four years later, right? So it might not be that they get it every single time. So maybe somebody does fall in the trap of thinking that they're entitled to certain things. But guess what? Just like I did, a few years later, you get a wake-up call and maybe they're ready for the message at that point.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's it's really interesting when you start to think about it. I mean, you can't change people, and everyone has that paradigm shift at different times, and it's the different message from the different people that really drive it ultimately. So it's really interesting the way you're you're kind of talking through it. And when I think about kind of all the different topics you've been hitting on, it kind of goes back to kind of one of your first chapters, which I love the word you picked, the word ownership. Because to me, the word ownership, it drives everything in terms of kind of your focus, it drives everything in terms of the language, the discipline, everything that you kind of walk through. It's one of those words that to be honest, like I wish someone would have drilled into my head when I was 15 years old because it's just that important. So I guess can you talk a little bit about when you talked about the word ownership, what you mean by ownership, and then ultimately, like, how do you coach that with people in terms of getting them to drive ownership, especially when you had gave the example of, well, they weren't ready for it in terms of kind of what they were doing.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, totally. Well, I love the word as well because it's the foundation of mind strength, is the foundation of my book. It's why it's in chapter one, because if you don't have it, you can't improve. So, what ownership means is it really is I look at the mirror and I'm looking at myself and I'm going, what can I improve on? What can I do? And you're always viewing it from that lens. So I always think that people who uh take ownership of their life, they look for and therefore they find the solution. They're going to look for and find the solutions of how they can improve. Where the victim-minded person, they look for and they find excuses. So you get what you're looking for. So the people who take ownership, it's about, okay, what can I control first? One of my favorite examples of this, that's a football one. So sorry, non-football listeners, but I think you'll resonate with it is, you know, Mike Leach, my old, my old football coach, Coach Leach, said that all sacks are on the quarterback. And that used to piss me off big time when I was playing for him. Because I mean, Colin, AJ, you you we both know that that's not true. Like the actuality and the reality of that, that is not true. But his challenge to us, and I wish I would have seen it this way, is that if I took ownership at every single sack that happened, that would force me to improve. Okay, could I have changed the protection? Could I have gotten us into a different play call? Could I have gotten rid of the football? Could I have scrambled, right? So if you put it on yourself rather than blaming others, you can change because you can change what you can control. You can improve what you can control versus what the things you can't, right? Oh, it's the O line's fault, it's the receiver's fault, it's the coach's fault. Well, now you just give your power away. You give somebody else so they have to do their job and they have to improve in order for you to get better. No, no, no. That's BS, right? And I think that's what ownership is is every situation, every scenario, how can I view it from the lens of how can I get better? Even like a silly example of, well, the receiver dropped the ball, right? We all know the quarterback doesn't have direct control of that. But if you viewed it from the lens of ownership, was my pace right? Did I make the right read? Did I have the right timing? Does the ball placement good? Did I spend time after practice with him and go over this stuff? Right? You can view it from the most basic thing that, yeah, that's not your responsibility, or you don't have direct control of it, but how can you improve it? A guy missed a play call. Did I have a signal meeting with them? Did I signal it clearly? Did I spend the time with them? Right. So it's just how how can you put the aim of everything is on you, everything is on you that you can improve? Because if that's the case, then like I said, if you can change it, you can control it, therefore you can change it. So I think when I'm working with an athlete, it's it's that paradigm shift. It sounds so simple. So literally one of the first exercises I've had, one of the first exercises I have them do is all right, let's write down everything you can control in your sport and everything you control in your life, and then things you can't in your sport and things you can't in your life. And then what I want you to do for one week is I want you to write down one thing you can control to start your day off, and that's gonna be your focus point. And it's a very small, right? And it might sound silly, it's very kindergarten, but what we're starting to do is we're starting to create the momentum toward, hey, your focus is gonna be on what you can control. And then what I want them to do as well, the other point is when you find yourself conscious that you're focused on something you can't control, tell yourself, oh, can't control it. Because once again, it's becoming conscious of it. Most people are focused on the unconscious, or they're they're focused on the things they can't control and they just don't even know it. So that would be one of the very first pillars of being able to take ownership. If you have to look at you, what can you control? What can you improve rather than looking at the external?
SPEAKER_00:That's one of the main shifts in that space is shifting that mindset to true ownership. I think it's Jocko Willock who wrote the book of extreme ownership, which has had a big impact in my own life. But there's a difference between reading it, like you said, the the person who's reading it or receiving the information has to be ready. And so, how can these athletes who listen to this and people just out in the world, the people that you coach, how can the athletes actually begin to shift the mindset in their mind and ask the right questions to themselves? What is that process and how does that look?
SPEAKER_02:Well, I think something that can smack them on the head is I always ask, is knowledge power? It was a trap question that my sports psychologist asked me to try to do the same point that we're talking about here. And of course I answered, yeah, because everybody said it was, right? And it's like, no. If I know the answer C on a test and I put B, how powerful is that? It's not. I know the answer. I have the knowledge. So what he said is that the application of knowledge is power. So when I'm telling and I'm working with somebody, it's like, hey, it's one thing to know it, but it's power to apply it. And how are we gonna apply it? These are the steps. And I think the greatest thing that you can do as a coach is provide a black and white roadmap of this is the coaching point I'm teaching you. This is how you do it. I think so often coaches fall short of it's like theory. This is what I want you to do, yet I'm not gonna show you the path to get there. Like, even an example of play the next play. We've heard coaches say this all the time. As an athlete, I'm like, okay, right, do I just say play the next play? Like, how do I actually move on from it? So as a coach, what I do. Well, I formulated something for myself to help me play the next play. And it's through the steps to being able to do that. So everything I try to do from a coach standpoint is I want to make it super simple because you know, the more friction points you have in anything, right, even in business, right? The more friction points you have from them checking out, which I I need to drastically improve myself and my business, the less likely they are to follow through on it. Same thing with the coaching point. If I have so many friction points for them to do, they're gonna not follow through on what I'm asking them. If I don't have clarity, vague, vague plan, vague, you know, vague uh follow through or whatever, vague overall creates a vague follow-through. And if you create more cleared plans for them, you're gonna be good. So I think as a coach, and whatever you're doing, whatever field you're at, how can you clean the message up and actually show them how to apply what you're asking them to do?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's really interesting as you kind of hit on all those different pieces in terms of being able to be. I I mean, you didn't use the word, but it just kept making me think about being intentional about everything that I'm doing in terms of being intentional about how I'm coaching and teaching people, but also being intentional about how I'm acting every single day as we go through. Colin, I wasn't sure if there was anything you wanted to add there.
SPEAKER_00:No, I think living with intention helps drive this. The more clear and concise that you can be, and I think about it even, you know, as a defensive back, right? Again, another another football analogy. But going back to the things that I can control is what are my pre-snap keys? Okay, what's the alignment? What's the formation? What's the personnel? You know, what are the splits by the receivers? Is the quarterback making a check? What's the alignment of the running back? If they shift, okay, every time that they motion, if I go back to my film study, what do they like to do out of this motion? Okay, and then once the ball snaps, it's like my mind can be clear because I did all my pre-snap check stuff. I focus on all those things. Now I can play with all the information readily available to me. One of the problems I had with as a competitive athlete, though, is and we talk about the extreme ownership piece, and it's super empowering to take full ownership, but I can still find myself ruminating in those things, focusing on outcomes that in reality, if I just had, you know, it is what it is, can't control that. That's where I would be better instead of just focusing on the ownership where I'm like, okay, what can I change? What can I do better? And I'm going through all these, you know, analytical processes of what can I improve, when in reality it may just have been some random force that I can't. And so the shift I had to make was, okay, here's the checks of the things that I can control or that I can change or have impact on or influence. Once I get through that, if I can't change any of those, then it's, I just say, is what it is, move on, figure out the next thing. I think a problem that we have is assuming that there's always a lesson to be learned in a loss or a failure. Sometimes it just sucks.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Well, I think the lesson could be keep doing what you're doing, right? There's always learning. It doesn't always have to be that you need to change something. It could be that you're improving something. So I always think uh one of the greatest confidence builders is to see what you're doing right. So in your case, maybe you did do all the right things. It just didn't go your way. It's like, yeah, have the awareness that, listen, I just got to continue to do this, and the ball is going to bounce my way moving forward. So what I love that my sports psychologist had me do, and that uh I have my athletes do is, you know, most of the time you ask the kid how they did after a game or an athlete how they did after the game. What do they give you? A negative response, generally, right? Should have done this better, should have done that better. But the biggest thing, the most common thing, because maybe there's the outlier kid that's like, oh, I did a really good job of blank. They're far and few between. But the the biggest thing is that they focus on the outcome. They focus on did I have a good completion percentage? Do we win the game? Uh, I shot blank from the three. Point line, you know, whatever it was, here's my batting average. So being able to shift their mind and their focus on, okay, well, no, no, what are the skills that you did well? So there's a great tool I like to use called the three to one tracker. It's three things to focus on that you did well. Not outcomes, not I got a hit, not I struck how many guys out, not that I saved this goal. It's what skills do I do a good job of? Right? Maybe it's your pre-stamp cues that you're talking about. Hey, before every snap, I did a phenomenal job being able to read my keys. Well, you know what? I had a great candy mindset. I played the next play. Those are three skills that you did a phenomenal job on. And then that way you can build upon those, it creates confidence for you moving forward. And then it actually makes you aware of what makes you a good player. You become consciously competent to a certain degree, which then can help you further your uh play moving forward. And then, okay, what's one thing I can improve on? So I always think there's something you can improve on. So using that mechanism, rather than going through a game and just trying to find the laundry list of the things that I can improve on, you might wear yourself down in your in your case. So I think if you have a simple method of what are three things I did well, what's one thing to improve on? That's a great frame for you to continue for each game. Because you're right. There are games that you can't control what happened totally. And that's what we want to get you out of from an athlete perspective of only focus on the things you can control. And I think that helps you take ownership as well. What are those things I did a great job of? What's one thing I can improve on that are all within my control because they're skills.
SPEAKER_00:AJ, I would like to Yeah, it does. And AJ, I want to hear your perspective on this as well in terms of that feedback loop or that feedback circle. Because some of us may not be aware of what we do well, right? And we need some type of external feedback. And how do you find the proper people to give you that feedback? Obviously, when you're in a locker room, you know, obviously on a team, you have coaches giving you feedback, but not all coaches are great at giving feedback that you need. So, how can you seek out and get the feedback that you need in order to improve your productivity?
SPEAKER_01:So I think it's really interesting because Colin, as you're mentioning it, and Luke, as you're mentioning it, I really think like a lot of the topics we're talking about is really building the habit of self-awareness. How you build that habit over time, it comes through different avenues. Luke, you've been kind of a master of language as we've been having this conversation in terms of how do I ask myself those questions, how do I frame it up as we go through? So to me, it's how do I consistently give feedback for myself and then ask myself the question of as we start to build the habit of self-awareness, is this true or is it a lie? Because a lot of the time I think it comes back to the story that we're telling ourselves, the lies that we're telling ourselves that were built over time in terms of how do I, as you mentioned, clear it out as we go through. So at the beginning, to be honest, I think more and more when I well and I work with people and coach with people, it's how are we just kind of getting rid and clearing the little eyes of how we go through to have more of a clear view? Because our, at the end of the day, our perception is our reality in terms of kind of what we have going on. So how we perceive the world is how we view it, and everyone's got their own perceptions that go along with it. I think the the key thing is how do we make it consistent of how we're giving ourselves feedback? Because sometimes you're right, Colin. People might give you feedback, it might might come from different areas, and it might come from biases as well, in terms of how and where they're giving you the feedback as well. So you need to start thinking about how can I build it for myself and how can I either set it up as a post-game activity, as you were mentioning, Luke, in terms of how do I ask my questions, how do I write it down, how do I build the intention ahead of time as we go through. And I think one of the things, and I'd really love both your perspectives on this, it kind of brings me back to some of the conversations we had earlier. If I think about how you were mentioning, Luke, Jerry Rice in terms of fear drove him. Everyone idolizes Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant in terms of their live or die mindset or get up at 4 a.m. and start practicing as we go through and like the ultimate goals of being the best. I think the hardest balance as we start to think about feedback is how do I balance my internal feedback and my external feedback? And how do I work on balancing process goals versus ultimate kind of high-level goals that I have as well? Because those are feedback in terms of yes, they're outcome driven. But if I'm driven and motivated by the goals, how do I, I think about this when I coach people, how do I meet people where they're at? Because if they're driven by fear, I got to meet them with that a little bit, but balance it out in terms of kind of balancing, Roger Federer calls it, the fire and ice in terms of those two different things that I have going on. So I guess for your, I guess both of you, as we kind of think about feedback and then we think about kind of driving, kind of meeting me where I'm at, how do you balance that with yourself? How do you think about balancing that with others?
SPEAKER_02:Well, it's a good question right there. Make make make me think pretty good. But I think right, coaching, there's no one team. Every team you have each year, there's different personalities, different dynamics. Same thing when you have a new client. It's not like, hey, the book is exactly what I'm gonna give you. The tools and the principles within the book and my coaching are how we're gonna get to where you need to get to. It's just like a leadership. Like my dad used to always be on me about you gotta be vocal, you gotta be vocal, you gotta be vocal, you gotta be this. And when I got to with Coach Leach, Coach Leach said, No, no, no, leadership is about elevating the group. And I don't care how you do it. It could be vocal, it could be this, that, and the other. But the biggest foundational piece with leadership is you got to be true to you. If you're not authentically you, that creates anxiety within yourself and it creates a phonemess that people can see through. So I think just like what you're talking about here, you have to identify what's authentically them and then be able to work around that. And I think, you know, Colin, to your point of the external stuff, well, I think that's where an environment is so key. An environment can help you be able to have that self-reflection and be able to help you on your journey in your path. And I think it's, well, why don't you find a full well? We talked about an empty well beforehand. You know, maybe somebody who doesn't have the credibility. It's that little league football coach who uh their son's playing quarterback and competing against you, and he's telling you those things that you can't be a quarterback. It's like, yeah, that's an empty well. But what about my high school football coach, who's a high school hall of fame coach, who's produced a number of Division I quarterbacks, who coached Chris Cooley in high school, who, you know, obviously is an NFL tight end, great NFL tight end. Well, I want to surround myself with guys like that. I want to grip my core five to be able to help people who know and will give me honest feedback and help me rise my game. Also, getting good great books. Who, what books are successful? What books are people resonating with? Who do I want to be like? Right? This is where that Tony Robbins skill modeling comes in. I want to be like Tom Brady. I want to be where Tom Brady's at. I want to climb that mountain. How do I do it? Well, let me put my hand where he put his hand, my foot where he put his foot. And if I do that, I'm gonna find myself on the top of the mountain. So I think that's a big skill that is totally undervalued when it comes to coaching. So when I'm working with the client, it's like, well, you want to be like Roger Federer, right? AJ. It's like, you want to be like Roger Federer? Oh, you want to be like uh Arena uh Sabolinka? Great. What are they doing? What are they listening to? What's their pregame routine like? And why don't we go ahead and try to model after them if that's who you resonate with and align with? And if you do those things and then we formulate it for yourself as well, you'll probably end up to the peak just like them. You'll end up on the summit just like them. So I know that was a long-winned answer to a certain degree, but it's like, yeah, who who do you want to be like that you respect holistically? How do you find out as much information about them as possible? And how do you surround yourself with the right people who are qualified to give you that feedback, who it might be, it might hurt. It might hurt when they say it. And then that's where this other skill, because when you were saying it, it's like too oftentimes people want the perfect delivery for them. They want it to sound a certain way. Well, you can't control that, right? Once again, mind strength is all about mastering your inner world so you can handle anything the external world throws at you. So the great skill of this is what not how. Right? I had a I had a coach, Mike Leach, who was very colorful with his vocabulary, especially with his quarterbacks, probably in a more negative light. And early on in my career, if he said something nice to me, man, I soared, I was through the roof. If he said something negative to me, I'm in the dumps. And I was living on this thing called the teeter-totter trap. The teeter-totter trap, a lot of athletes live on it. It's like, if I get a good outcome, it goes up. If I'm better than somebody, it goes up. If I get approval, it goes up. But, you know, the opposite of that, it'll go down. And you're living on this anxiety-ridden playground because you can't control those things. So with Leach in particular, his nice words or his negative words, they would get me up high or I would be down in the dumps for weeks. I'm like, this can't continue. So through that modeling skill, you know, I'm trying to figure out as much as I can about Tom Brady. At lunch, I would sit down, I'd you two Tom Brady. And I saw this interview and he's talking about this book called The Four Agreements. And he's like, I read it every year. I'm like, oh, I've never heard of the four agreements. Let me let me go read this. So I read this book, and he talks about this skill called take nothing personally. Take nothing personally. And that, you know, we have the person A, person B example. Person A has a good day, person B has a bad day. Who's more likely to say nice things to you? Person A. Who's more likely to be kind, compassionate, understanding, right? It's person A. And the Don Miguel Ruiz's point is like, it didn't matter what you said to them or what you did to them. It's about them and their internal story, what they're going through. And that is how, you know, what when people respond to you, it's based off of them and their own internal story, not about you. And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is that makes total sense, right? It's easier said than done. But I'm like, I wonder if this applies with coaching. Now I think with coaching, it's more on how the delivery is given. And I noticed I'm like, oh, Coach Leach is in a good mood today. Oh, guess what? His delivery is a little bit different. Oh, Coach Leach, oh, yeah, he he probably didn't get bet on time. He went to, you know, had a recruiting deal. He had this, that, and the other. And he's not feeling great today. Yeah, his delivery looks a whole heck of a lot different. So what I started to do, and it was like I'm on this walk, is what's the coaching point I can take from it? Not how is it being delivered to me? So it got me off of the emotional high and the emotional lone, it just allowed me to cut through it and go, okay, I can take that coaching point. Right. For an example, I've shared this story before, but I think it's a good one. Because I don't think many kids will have this extreme of an example or many athletes, or maybe they will, but I think Coach Leech is very unique, and especially in today's day and age. But we played Cal. I threw five interceptions. I played horrible. I got sacked nine times. And the next day, he he comes in an hour late, leech time, and he looks right at me in front of the whole team. 120 guys in there, and plus the staff, and he's like, Falk, you gotta be the slow, slowest mother effer I've ever seen. And he just starts going after me. He's like, I'm so tired of watching you. You know, I'm not gonna exactly say what he said because it's I think I'd have done it on one podcast, and my wife didn't really like it. So I'm not gonna say it here. But anyways, it is like, I'm so tired of watching you stand back there like an F and statue getting sack after sack. Early on in my career, I'd have been done. I would have taken how he said it and I would have been done. I wouldn't have taken the coaching point. Later on my career, yeah, I'm a human being, did its thing, absolutely, but I had to work through it. It was just like a skill. Okay, what's the coaching point? Get rid of the ball. Get rid of the ball. No sacks, right? Nine, nine sacks, we can't have that. It's it's killing us. So that's the point.
SPEAKER_00:I look at it if there's this specific scene in the dark night rises when Batman is trying to get out of the pit and he ties himself to that rope and he keeps jumping and he keeps failing. And he's talking to someone else who's in the prison, the prison doctor. And the prison doctor says to him, You don't fear death. That is why you can't make the jump. And to me, it's that transition of understanding what made Batman so successful, he didn't fear death, was now a disservice to him. And so it's understanding when does a mindset no longer serve you and when do you need to transition your mindset? So whether it's fear or whether it's tension between the fire and ice with Roger Federer, understanding which mindset you need to channel into in order to have utmost success. And that doesn't mean it's a permanent mindset shift. It can be a temporary one. And it goes back to that building that self-awareness that we keep speaking about. And what are you reading? Like Luke said, who are you listening to? You know, where are you proactively seeking feedback? You know, people talk about having like create, you know, curating your environment. I think you can also curate specific environments. Where who am I around when I want to be mentally stimulated? Who am I around if I want to get a really good physical workout in? Who am I around if I just want to chill and not think about anything? And understanding who you can go to where in those scenarios. And most importantly, who can I go to to get the specific feedback I need? I say this frequently. If I need hard feedback, I'm not going to go to my mom. My mom is not going to give me critical feedback that I need to get better. But I have mentors and coaches that will tell it to me straight and not worry about my feelings, which is what I need sometimes. And so it's as a youth athlete, as a college athlete, and then as a professional athlete, it's really just understanding where you can get the information that you need and to what degree. And then you can learn to apply it. And then you can develop the internal mind strength and the internal skill set to be able to pull different levers when you need them.
SPEAKER_01:I love that. I heard this definite. It kind of reminds me of something, Colin. I heard this definition of being authentic. And it's where the gap between who you are and who you present to the world is there is no gap in terms of there as you go through. And when I think about kind of your definition right there, it's like I know myself to a T and what's going to trigger me. And I know how, going back to what Luke, you said, how I'm going to take ownership as I go through it as well. So really thinking about those key pieces as I go through into it.
SPEAKER_02:I love I love where you guys are going with that in particular. And if I could just chime in, I think the greatest performers in terms of that have the most decent longevity and all that are authentic to who they are. For me, I put on a front. I I did and I think how do you become authentic is you gotta love who you are. I really have said it on every podcast. When I actually love who God created me to be, I am genuinely more authentic. I'm honest, I'm this, I'm that. When I'm not, when I present something that I'm not, which I did a lot early on in my life, and I'm continuing to get better at it, you can't be authentic. You're like a chameleon. You morph to the crowd that you're in, or what you want people to think, or what you think you should be. And therefore, what does that do to you? That creates extreme anxiety, especially if, you know, I know it because I've lived it, right? If I'm not authentically mean, maybe I've made up stories. Well, now I got to remember those stories, right? If you're authentic to who you are, and it starts with you have to love who you are. You have to genuinely look at yourself in the mirror and go, I'm enough. I'm enough. And I don't think a lot of people do that. I think a lot of athletes in particular, especially high-performing athletes, for a time, they are so hellbent on focusing on the outcome because guess what? They think if they get a good outcome, they get approval. That means they're loved. And that means they fill the void at feeling not good enough. In my opinion, so I love what you guys talked about right there of hey, you have such self-awareness, right, in Colin's case that you can pull the levers of who you need to go to at what time. And by being able to separate or close the gap there by being authentic to who you are, well, it starts at the root of it. You got to like who you are. You got to be comfortable enough in your own skin to be authentic, to not have everybody agree with you. And it, like I said, it's something I'm not 100% at for sure, but I'm a whole lot better than I was. And I tell you what, my anxiety levels around that particular thing, weigh down. Whereas before, it's like, oh my gosh, it's like I'm gonna get found out. I just didn't like who I was, plain and simply. And the more and more that you can, I think, develop and be able to get on that path of feeling comfortable in your own skin, it's gonna help you perform. It creates house money for you. It's like, no matter what outcome I have, I can have the ability to go cut it loose. It doesn't matter. My worth stays the same. And that allows you freedom to go out and perform at a new level rather than feeling like, oh my gosh, I have to get this. Otherwise, I'm nothing. You know?
SPEAKER_00:So he'll bloom, if you don't know who he is, he's an entrepreneur, he's been on the podcast. He has this theme, it's called Life's razor. And it goes back to the identity piece that you keep referencing. And identity is something I'm I'm extremely passionate about. And your life raiser is like a simple statement where you're the type of person who does X. And then everything is downstream from there from your identity. My I expand on it a little bit. I don't think you can have one simple life raiser. I think you have different razors for different domains. But the statement that's true is I'm a person who does X. For you, right, talking about again that authenticity, that loving yourself. A really I call a tragic problem in athletics is what you just described. Your entire self-worth is tied to the validation of your successes or failures of your outcomes. And the shift for me is you have to build your identity to where outcomes, not that they don't matter, but outcomes just become a byproduct. I talk about being rather than doing. Okay. So if I'm someone who is resilient, it is just a function of who I am. I don't try to do things to be resilient. It's just when the opportunity presents itself, that's the reframe, which you've taught you talk about in your book, reframing. I reframe this as an opportunity to be resilient as part of me. And then over time, I just further invigorate that proof of I am who I say I am. I am the type of person who's a good father. I am the type of person who loves a physical challenge. I am the type of person, right, who performs in the clutch. And being able to use those razors not as an outcome-oriented, but as a process-oriented in a lifestyle.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I love it. That goes on the line that so you guys probably know who Chris Pearson is, the old Washington coach and Boise State coach. And I listened to him talk on a podcast about society's foreboard, right? And how most coaches and athletes and all that stuff are focused on the wins, losses, accolades, this, that, and the other. And he had a mindset shift of you need to create a game plan for your life, which is what you're talking about. And how he separated it out was you create a mission statement for yourself. Maybe it's that razor type deal you're talking about. Then you have your values, then you have your roles, and you make the decisions in your life based upon those. And so I think that can be a foundation for somebody to put their identity in those things that are unchanging, unwavering. You know, and for a lot of it, it's like, right, faith for me is a core pillar for me now. And that allows me to free myself up. And my mission statement is listen, I'm helping people unlock their full potential through strength in their minds through my coaching, writing, speaking, and most importantly, my actions. So, okay, that's my mission statement. Everything I do from that point, all my decisions need to be towards that aim. And what it does is it allows you to not compromise your integrity to maybe go get the quick fix or the quick this, that, and the other and get you off of that outcome mindset. Easier said than done, obviously. In fact, I made one before I got into college coaching. And what I end up doing, I'm taking the job that I probably shouldn't because it's not in alignment with my values, or I didn't do enough research on it. But gosh, it's three times the salary I had. I'm playing, I'm calling plays now, but it wasn't in alignment with my game plan. And sure, it had an immediate impact of like a quick hit. It's like um eating a McDonald's burger or something that tastes real good, right? I guess McDonald's probably doesn't taste very good. An in-and-out burger or whataburger, wherever the heck you're at.
SPEAKER_00:Give me an in-and-out burger right now. I could go for one of those.
SPEAKER_02:One of those, five guys, whatever you want. But it's like you do that over the long period, it's gonna lead you to results that you don't want. So it might feel good immediately, but then you know, as you're in it longer, you're like, oh my gosh, I didn't, I didn't stick to my values. I didn't stick to my my core. So I think that's a great tool as well that you're talking about. But I think people and and what you're gonna discuss it too, I think I read that in like the atomic habit stuff. It's like the the difference between the smokers, right? It's like, no, I'm quitting, right? Versus that's their identity versus no, no, I'm not a smoker. So it's like I don't smoke, right? And it's it's not uh it's just something that drives you. Oh, I love the hard workout challenge. I love the work. I'm a disciplined individual. Well, that's gonna drive your response. It's your perception again. It all goes back to, I'm telling you, if the greatest skill anybody could ever do is if they could reframe the story they tell themselves. If you can make an empowering story, you will have a good quality life. Like if something, like it's the E plus R equals O, I know we've all used that formula for a long, long time. For me, it doesn't, you know, I know there are people out there who are very adamant about it. In fact, I had one guy, I can't remember his name, he's very adamant about it. But this is where coding comes in. So because something's coded a certain way, that might resonate with an individual, but maybe I need to code it in a different way that it resonates with me. Like, for example, if I say house money, that means that I'm gonna cut it loose, I'm gonna play like I've got nothing to lose. Maybe somebody wants to call it let it rip. Maybe somebody wants to call falk it, you know, or swing your sword, whatever that is. But whatever resonates with them, that's great. So in my case, I looked at this formula, I'm like, it's missing something for me. And it was key, it was perception. Hey, the event happened. My perception around that event is very important. I can have an empowering reception or uh perception, or I can have a disempowering one. And then that'll lead to the R, my response. And then the response will then lead to helping me influence the outcome. But that P in that formula to me is the greatest thing of all because it shifts and it puts you on the path to get the response that you need. And my dad was so great. You know, you talk about, well, how do you how do you become conscious of these things? Like back then, like I was fortunate enough to have a guy in my corner and my dad, who a hard thing would happen. My dad didn't allow me to go, it's the old line's fault, it's the receiver's fault, it's this, that, and the other. My dad would go, what story are you making up about this? I'm like, and I hated hearing that as a kid. But now I look at it and I just do the same thing. I'll represent a business problem I'm going through. Well, what story are you telling yourself, Luke? And it flips me right in that formula. Oh, okay, how can I do this? How can I make this empowering? And therefore, it's going to help me down this formula to create the outcome I want.
SPEAKER_01:I think as you were talking, you must have hit like five different teams mantras as you were going through swing your sword and all the way through E plus R, E plus O. Um, it's funny because as you were kind of going through it and you talked about missions and pillars and values. I think the biggest trouble when I work with teams and I work with youth and I work with executives is they don't have that direction that you just defined. And that's kind of the map of where am I headed? Because if I know exactly who I am and I know my identity, well, every decision becomes so much easier. It kind of goes back to James Clear and Atomic Habits. Everything becomes so much clearer if I know where I'm headed and where I'm going through. I think the other thing you talked about that's really interesting that I always get back to is like what what are the habits that you are doing every single day? So when you're talking about some of this stuff, like you've hit on language and and I I love your framing of like how am I coding it to myself? But what's the language I'm actually using for myself? What's the story I'm telling myself and what are the questions I ask myself? I think about where I went off my math, and it's because I didn't ask myself questions for years. And how are you gonna hold yourself accountable and take ownership if you're not asking yourself questions as you go through? And the other piece of that is how am I imprinting the values and the self-talk that I do want as we start to think about the language? And to me, it doesn't matter how you do it, the principles are all the same. Some people do it through meditation, some people do it through prayer, some people have to write it down as if they say, I am the type of person that blah blah blah as they go through. That is what imprints it in their head. But at the end of the day, it goes back to by doing that, what are you doing? You're giving yourself evidence of you are the person that does that because it's like if I spent that many hours writing and thinking about and doing all those things, how could I not be that person as we go through? And to me, the biggest thing is that as we start to think about, we've talked about we've talked about football a lot today. And we and I know a lot of the people here are coaches, they're athletes, and they're within teams. The biggest things you see within teams are miscommunications because we haven't defined what those values are. We haven't defined what's important as we go through. And when we talk about, we go back to the word ownership, because we've talked about it a lot today. We might have different definitions, but if we can all agree on the same definition, or I can get into the details of what it means to me, that gives me the clear path of kind of where I'm headed and what I know is going to end up being important.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I love it. Yeah, love it. And I I think Leach had something similar within our our language of be a team, be the most excited to play, be the best at doing your job. Now, I I tried to reframe that in the book, like, hey, we are a team. We are the best at doing our job. We are the most excited to play. And those are the values that we have. And if we focus on those, then we keep our mind off of the outcome and we can be able to have that drive our, you know, that was our razor statement, right? That was our razor deal for us as a team. I also think just one thing you hit on, it's like, yeah, why did why was Atomic Habit such a big book? Because it's so very important. The daily, the things that don't seem significant that you do on a daily basis, that makes up your life. It really does. And the greatest you kids want confidence, you want confidence, you want all that stuff. You be follow through on your word. If you follow through on your word, that creates the most confidence that I have ever experienced in my entire life. Like I have this, you know, I think it's called habit share. And I used habit share or I'll have it on my piece of paper. I started using habit share now because it's so much easier. And it's like when I see the green streaks that I've been doing, I follow through on my word. And then guess what? It allows you to create a community as well. So now I'm getting held that standard with other people. It's like, oh my gosh, I'm feeling way confident and I feel better about myself. And when I don't, I'm I'm off. I don't feel as great. I I doubt when I say I'm gonna do something that'll do it. Right. I love Tony Robbins. You know, obviously you tell that and a number of people, Ed Milette, this, that, and the other. And I heard Ed Milette talk about that. He's like, hey, if you follow through on your word, it's the greatest deal to be able to create confidence. But Tony Robbins every morning gets up, gets in that cult tub. Why? Because it's a discipline for him. He follows through on his word. That creates confidence for him. So do something every day that you can follow through on your word. And the mistake most people make, they try to, that's the uh New Year's deal. I'm gonna go to the gym seven times a week. I'm gonna go at 4 a.m. when they've never gone before. So start small, build the muscle, and then be able to develop some confidence along the way. And then, you know, James has all those, hey, habit stack, ride the clear plan out. I mean, all of that is good. And what I would recommend is pick one. Just pick one way to be able to help you, not get overwhelmed by all the information. Pick one way to be able to help you and start super small and then go from there.
SPEAKER_00:Something one of my former guests, uh Justin Sue, was talking about, and he was referring to a surgeon who has high-stakes surgeon or surgeries. Life or death depends on him. And Justin asked him, How do you maintain confidence through that? And his response was, he's like, honestly, he's like, confidence. I build competence. He's like, I've been depressed. He's like, I've gone through divorces. He's like, I've been angry, I've been happy, I've been sad. He's like, I've been everything and had to do surgery and save someone's life. And he's like, My confidence comes through my competence. He's like, I have built the skill set over years and years and years to know that no matter what's going on in my life, I can show up, I can perform, and I can ultimately save people's lives. And to me, that's just such like an empowering statement to know going back to the habits, going back to our decisions that we make, and the more intentional that we can be, if we're constantly doing the things that align with who we are and what we want to do, then confidence will be a byproduct of the competence that you're building.
SPEAKER_02:Totally. I think the word grit, right? We, you know, we can define grit. I had this aha the other week. Like to me, grit is about consistent discipline, just like you're talking about. It doesn't matter what type of day I had. I'm consistently disciplined with the things I need to get done. That to me is grit. That to me is long-term success. And, you know, I can't say I've been perfect at it, but when I have, oh my gosh, I'm a I feel so much more confident about myself. And therefore, you know, life is good. It really is because my inner world's good. And I think, I think for uh discipline, it's like it is a secret sauce. When you're disciplined, I think it creates peace. I really do. And and maybe people are like, oh, you're too radical with it. No, no, no. I I think you need it. I think you do. People are like, well, but what about balance? Well, I'm gonna be balanced in my discipline. I need to have great discipline, otherwise, I'm not feeling great.
SPEAKER_00:I honestly, I I again this goes back to, you know, I know people are going to disagree with this. I hate the word balance. I don't think you can achieve true balance. I think it's periods of unbalance. When I'm with my kids, I'm unbalanced, I'm fully with my kids. When I when I'm in this podcast, I don't have any other distractions. I'm fully here. When I'm working, I'm working. And to be fully present in those moments and to find balance in the unbalance, right? In the chase, in the pursuits, that is what I believe is more true balance, you know, is actually aligning with the things that you want to do and being fully present when you're doing those things.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, the word presence, right? That that's you know, it's like a a father who's maybe not around their kids as much, but he's fully present when he's doing. And when he's home, he's he's all the way present versus the dad that is withholding what he really wants to do because he wants to create balance in his life, yet he's on his phone, he's distracted with his kids. Who's gonna have a greater impact? Well, to me, it's gonna be the father who's chasing, he's fully going after what he wants. And when he's home, he is very much home and he's there. I love what you said. I think that's a great um, you know, if we want to get into the deal, I think it's a phenomenal masculine quality of your presence, being able to show your presence as a man in whatever you're doing. And uh what a great, what a great feat. And we have so many things that are trying to distract us in particular. So I love that. That's a skill, that's a mind strength skill. Live in the present, presence, whatever you want to call it. And a great way to dial into your presence. You know, whenever I'm feeling future or past, it's like, well, I'll go to my breath because my breath puts me right back in the present moment. Or I dial into my five senses. What do I hear? What do I taste? What do I smell? What do I feel? What do I see? And I think that's a great way to dial your yourself back into it. But I love what you said. I I agree with you. I think that balance totally is an illusion. I do think that, you know, you need rest, in my opinion. I think you when you know when I see these great coaches and all that stuff, and I know you you dads probably are getting no rest right now, but it's like you got to view that as a training deal because you're gonna run out of fuel. And I've done that. That's how I've got burnt out. It's like I go, go, go, go, go, but at some point the car needs some gas. So yeah, I'm gonna have presence in my rest rather than, you know, just thinking that I can be superhuman.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I mean, it comes back to self-awareness. It reminds me of, I mean, that that Sean McVay article that came out with him burning out and really leaning on Chris Peterson in terms of kind of giving him uh a little bit of that knowledge to say, hey, like take a step back and really think about where and what you're accomplishing.
SPEAKER_02:It's uh Oh, go on, sorry. No, no, go ahead. No, I was just saying kind of like the Chris Peterson thing. You stuff you shot that in my mind. It's like, well, if Sean builds his mission statement, his values, his roles, well, guess what? His calendar is gonna look and support that. And if it's not like I loved what Bronco Mendenhall says here, he's at Utah State. I think he's one of the great college football coaches and somebody who I would, you know, when I was in the college coaching game, I wanted to work for him. I would have been, I would have done a paid, uh free paid job for him just to get on a staff and be a part of that because he's like, all right, what do you what do you believe in? All right, let me see your calendar. Let's see if your your time actually says what you value. I love that. If you value family, yet you don't have it on the calendar to put family time. Do you really value your family? How about your faith? Do you really value your faith? So I love it's like you value where your action is. You value where you put your time. It's your most precious commodity. And so, you know, for Sean McVeigh in his case, you know, with Chris Peterson's formula right there, that can really help you get clarity on it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's it's interesting because the the next piece it kind of brings me to think about is energy as well. So, like, first, where am I investing time? But then the next one, like, we don't think about enough. And this is all people, all human beings, like we don't think about our energy in terms of how we're investing it. It goes to we're talking a little bit about burnout right now. We're talking about rest and recharging as well. But I also don't think we think about like where are we actually spending our time and energy. Um, and one of the things that that I've worked with people on in the past was going back to look at their calendar, just like you were mentioning. Go back and look at your calendar. Where do you spend time? Because that's what you say is the most important. But also going back and looking at your calendar and saying, did this bring you energy or did it not, in terms of actually going through and thinking about authentically where you want to head and actually like taking, I got highlighters on my desk, taking a highlighter and coloring it green or red or yellow, yellow, try not to get the yellow in there. Just say, is it green or red? Did it give me energy or did it take away energy as well? Because to be honest, a lot of people have trouble answering questions forward looking in terms of what they want, but you can always go back and look and say, well, did this help or did it not? In terms of looking historically. That's why I mean they tell you to always go look at, as Colin was mentioning, the evidence and the competence when we start thinking about confidence because it's like, oh, I know what I did, you know?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. I like your red and green because it's like if it's not a definite yes, it's a no. That like that could be a good thing for them.
SPEAKER_01:I definitely think I got that from Tim Ferris or someone. I can't remember who, but we'll reference that one out at some point. But yeah, it's people love visual things, you know? It's just like uh the coding, it's no different. Yeah, no, it's good stuff.
SPEAKER_00:I have one last question for you. AJ, I don't know if you have any more questions. My last question is there's a lot of couch coaches, couch quarterbacks in today's society. What is something maybe that is most misunderstood about being a quarterback at the highest levels?
SPEAKER_02:Well, I think an athlete at the highest level, like I watch these golfers, and you know, you get all these couch, you know, GM golfer type that it's like you you can't even hit, you know, in the 90s, and these guys are playing at the hardest course. With I mean, it's just the how hard it actually is to get to that level and the the competency and how good these guys are is totally, I mean, it's lost on people. I watched the Olympics and there's some sports where I I can't even fathom. Like my daughter, she does this little open mat type of thing with gymnastics. I'm looking at what these gals and guys do. I'm like, how in the world can they do that? But uh, you know, I think a lot of people, well, especially with social media, they're they feel like their their opinion is it matters a lot, right? They're entitled to their which that's what makes sports fun, is people get so invested in it. But I would say quarterback, and I'm I'm I don't I haven't played many other sports besides just basketball, baseball, and golf here occasionally, but I think it's the hardest position on all of sports. There's so much coming at you, especially at the NFL level where they like to make the play calls as long as, you know, I mean, it's a big run-on-sentence. That's what it is, and when it comes to a big NFL play call. Not to mention that you've got Fletcher Cox or Miles Garrett or whoever breathing down your neck, and they are trained killers. I mean, they are they're amazing. Now, not to mention that you've got, you know, a guy like you on the on the secondary who is studying your every move formation, this, that, and the other, when you pat the ball, I mean, it's so difficult to play quarterback, and then think of all the chaos going around you that you can't allow your eyes to drop on the on the rush, and you got to continue to keep your eyes down filled, and not to mention all the disguises that are going on, the different timings of the routes and the receivers that you have with you, maybe the environment that you're playing in. Is it is it a cold game? Is it rain? Is it this, that, and the other? There are so there are so many factors, and it's like, yeah, I mean, good, good luck. Good luck. And then not to mention what what type of coach do you have around? Do you have a coach that is somebody like we talked about today that, you know, Leach was, I think Leach, what separated Leach from so many coaches is that Leach was a mastered application. You know, there's so many guys that I talked to quarterback wise that they could say, that's that this front, that's this stunt, that's this flips, that's this coverage, but what they can't apply it, right? They could see it and then it's like, yeah, they they're good on the clicker, but when it comes to the field, they don't know how to actually apply it to help them make them play better. Leach allowed us and gave us the skills and the tools. Maybe he didn't give us all the information or that we we couldn't recite everything just as as uh an NFL coach would like, but oh my gosh, we there was no quarterback group better than Leach's quarterbacks or the air rate quarterbacks that were best at applying what he wanted. I mean, just the numbers speak for themselves, you know, as a whole group. Why? Because he created that type of system for us.
SPEAKER_01:So, anyways, I think Yeah, Luke, can I can I expound on that? When you say he made the application phenomenal for you, and obviously the numbers do speak for themselves. Like, what did he do? Like, was it the fact that like the focus was that much quicker? Was it the fact that like it was kind of the way he set things up? I guess the system overall, like what made it so special?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, all the you know, like I hear people talking about the signal and the noise when it comes to entrepreneurship and what you're doing. Well, he just eliminated the noise. It was all about signal. Like I hear coaches talk about what's your pre-snap routine? Are you looking at this? Are you looking at that? You're looking at this side. He didn't care. It's what's your job on that play and what do I need to execute on that play? So for me, as a quarterback in his system, is always, I'm always looking at the box because my responsibility was if we have a light box or even an opportunity to run the football, I'm gonna check us into that. So that's me knowing my job at the highest of levels. I'm not trying to do somebody else's job or have knowledge that isn't applicable to me. I don't care if we call it 33 buzz or if they call it this, that, and the other. And then he created a uh the our read system, a pure progression, which I will pound the table on is the best. And why? Because my wife could go play quarterbacks for Mike Bleach, because our reads are one, two, three, four, five. It doesn't matter the coverage. Now, if you have an understanding of the coverage, it can help you get through the reads quicker. But a lot of these guys, they jack with the reads. It's like, I, you know, I was in uh coaching and you could see it from a different deal. It's like, well, if he does this, then we're gonna go this way. But if he does this, then we're gonna go that way. If he does, and it's that on every play. So what's the friction? The friction is so high that the follow-through is very low. Well, how about this? If you just need to know what one through five is on every one of these plays, and that's it, doesn't change. And then he changes up the way that we run that particular play, right? The dressing on it, but the read's the same. So for me, it's like, all right, I know on 95, I've got my vertical, I've got my out, I've got my white cross, I got my post dig or post curl, and I got my back every time. Unless we go three by one, I got my vertical, I got my white cross, I got my post dig, and I got the flat. And then, you know, if he's white WAO, white ass open, my running back, I might check it down to him. You know what I mean? So it it was uh he just eliminated the things I didn't need to know, which people say, well, it's too simple, and that doesn't prepare you for the next level. Well, Gardner Minch is doing a pretty good job with the next level. It's just you, you, you know, I think I would think that coaches should go toward more his style because guess what? His quarterbacks, I mean, really successful. Really successful.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's interesting. It kind of reminds me of of two things. Number one, it reminds me of the fact that like we forget, like no matter what we're doing, coaching is teaching at its heart in terms of how can I communicate something and make it applicable. It goes back to knowledge without the actual application isn't very useful. If I know the answer, but I don't put it, mark it right on the Scantron. Why does it matter at the end of the day? And then the second piece is um simplification. Um, there's beauty in the simplicity of kind of what you do and kind of how you set it up. It reminds me of a Grant Hill story where he was actually staying at uh Coach Kay's house. I think it was during like a spring break or during an off part of the season, and uh he saw all the work that Coach Kay was doing, and he's like up at 3, 4 a.m. He's like out there like watching video and all that. And then he's like, I remembered we go into the huddle, and the messages were the simplest thing in terms of how we can just get us to focus on what is the most important thing. And it kind of goes back to some of the changes we talked about today, where it's like, don't try to do nine things, just start with one thing and one thing only as we start to think about your different habits that you're caught. So it sounds like he mastered simplification and then the whole teaching process as well.
SPEAKER_02:Big time, big time. Yeah, he leach was it wasn't about what Leach knew, it was about what he could get us to apply. It wasn't about what he could get us to know, it was about what he'd get us to apply. And he was as good of a coach at doing that as I've ever seen. And that was through his system, that was through the way he taught, that was the way through we watch film, uh, how he, you know, judged us, coached us, graded us, whatever it came down to. So I think it, you know, it's uh it's excellent. I think as a coach too, you got to continue to go back and look at, you know, I'm gonna do the same thing with my mind strength. Like, you're not getting this concept. What do I need to do? And probably the answer is simplify it. And it's such a dirty word, I think, with coaches, because it's like, no, no, no, we got this fig elaborate thing. No, no, less is more. Like our play call, ace 92, early 95. I mean, it's so easy. Then I get to the NFL. I can't tell you one play call from start to finish right off the bat right now. I can't. And yeah, I don't I didn't play that long. And I know I, you know, my last time I was there was 2019, but I can recite our entire, I have a PhD in air aid offense. I don't even have a kindergarten type education when it comes to the NFL stuff. And a lot of that is due to how the complexity of it. I remember asking, um, you know, there was this, I'm not even gonna say his name on here because I don't, I don't want to get in trouble with it, but you know, he's at my agency, he's a starting quarterback to the state, and he's playing at a very high level. And he's at the agency that I'm at, he's helping me with my pre-draft process, or he's not helping me. He comes in and he's talking to the guy that's helping me. And I asked him to draw up a play, you know, thinking, hey, we can you just show me what an NFL play call is? And it took him so long to think about one of those because it changes week in, week out, and all the complexities and the tags and this. I mean, the play calls are that long, but for me, and he could recite his college stuff though, because he played in that air raid system. You know what I mean? So, anyways. Incredible. Now I'm biased, I'm biased.
SPEAKER_00:AJ, you got anything else for him?
SPEAKER_01:Uh I guess just the last question for you, Luke, is um you mentioned kind of your influences. You've mentioned Mike Leach a lot, you've mentioned Wayne Dyer, and you mentioned your sports psychologist, Dr. Craig Manning as well. So, like, if I think about kind of your influences, can you just talk a little bit about what those influenced you in the past? Like, what influences you today? Like, where do you go as kind of your sources of energy? Where do you go for like your sources of information in terms of like places to go, books to read, any suggestions for for people who are listening to this?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, well, great, uh, great deal. So in my book, there's a virtual locker room that people can scan. It's free. It's just an added resource for the application part, right? There's guided breathwork, guided visualization, there's exercises. And in there, I actually pieced down the books that really help formulate this book. So it's like, you want to learn more about leadership? All right, here's the energy bust by John Gordon. Here's some other things, right? So I segmented out that way. That would be a great tool for them to go and use. Uh guy I really like right now is Ryan Holliday. I mean, I think a lot of people like him and the Daily Stoic and Stoicism type stuff that he's doing. Uh obviously, I mentioned the James Clear stuff. I really like Darren Hardy. Atomic Habits was one of the first, you know, I guess people probably the first thing they heard about with the that that particular concept of, hey, the small micro creates the macro. Well, I I learned that before in a book called The Compound Effect, and it was like mind-blowing to me. So that was Darren Hardy, loved, loved his stuff. I love all John Wooden's, you know, books and philosophies. I think he's a coach that did exactly what we talked about today. He's not focused on the championships and all that. He had the internal driving mechanism of the foundation. Like his, what's his mission? What are his values? What are his roles, responsibilities? I think he lived that to a T. You know, so those are some good ones as well that I think are great. And then right now I'm actually reading a novel for the first time uh in quite a while. So I'm reading Lonesome Dev right now, and it's it's pretty good.
SPEAKER_01:That's awesome. I actually had that suggested to me like two, three months ago.
SPEAKER_02:So you'll have to let me know how it finishes and if I'm a huge book, but I'm I've been so, you know, for this book, you're doing all this research. I'm fried. I've read my book like 10 times. I'm tired of reading it right now. So I need to like, I just needed something different out of the norm. Because I tried to pick up another book, that breathing book uh or breath, it's called. And it's a good, it's a good intro and all that. I'm sure I'm gonna be the teacher or the student's not ready for it right now. I'm ready for a novel to just take my mind off of this stuff, and then I'll get back into my hey, I'm gonna go learn, learn, learn, learn, learn.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you got you gotta have the balance, you know? Sorry, sorry, don't say that word. Don't say that word.
SPEAKER_00:Hey, it's knowing what you need. It's uh it's that awareness piece. That's where I'd reframe that, AJ. Um, hey, I appreciate you both, man. This was fun. Um Luke, where where can you know people get your book? When when does it uh officially come out? And um, you know, where can people get at you?
SPEAKER_02:I appreciate it. Yeah, they can uh get it at any you know bookstore, Amazon, Barnes Noble online. I'm trying to work right now. So they could call their Barnes Noble store and say, hey, can we get the Mind Strength playbook? And maybe that'll help it get into Barnes and Noble stores. And then uh just go to coachlukefalk.com if you want to learn more about um my coaching and what I do, and then I'll solve them on at Coach Luke Falk on pretty much X, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
SPEAKER_00:So awesome. Well, hey, thank you so much, my friend. It's uh it's been a pleasure again to interview you. Um AJ, thank you as well. It's it's been a pleasure to uh rhyming and rapping with you today. Uh listeners, thank you for tuning in. Tune in next week, download the pod, subscribe to our YouTube channel. Five stars only, baby. Appreciate you guys. Thanks. Uh have a good