Olympic Gold Medalist: What Nobody Tells You About 'Making It | Taylor Heise

We talk with Olympic gold medalist Taylor Heise about the mental battle of high-stakes hockey, from the gold medal game locker room to the quiet doubts you never see on TV. We get practical about identity beyond sport, routines that help after failure, and how to chase outcomes without letting them own you. 

• locker room culture that makes pressure feel playable 
• shrinking the gap between a mantra and embodied belief 
• journaling as a tool for confidence and clarity 
• building identity outside sport to compete more freely 
• postgame routines that prevent stress from compounding 
• sacrifices and “grunt work” behind elite development 
• handling doubt even when you are one of the best 
• coaching emotional responses and resilience in kids 
• balancing expectations, authenticity, and community impact 
• leadership through words plus visible effort 

Check us out, athleticfortitude.com, download the pod, subscribe to our YouTube channel. Five stars only baby. 

Transcript

Gold Medal Game Nerves And Focus

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What is it like in the locker room before gold medal game in the Olympics?

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Pretty intense, but also I think our captains did a great job of making sure everyone's very comfortable. And I think because when you're comfortable, you can play the game that you love at the highest level. I think when you get a little bit underconfident, questioning if you're, you know, good enough, that's where things like doubt creeps in. So um I think, you know, we're having fun, we were playing the music we love to play. Um everyone does their routines, you know exactly what people need to do to be successful. Um and you kind of let them do that. Uh, I think there's mutual respect everywhere. Like if you have to go juggle balls off the wall, sure. If you want to do this, you want to play your specific music, we'll do that. So I think our captains just did a great job of like, I remember before the first period, you could just see some of our like rookies, which included me, kind of be a little bit like looking down at the ground, like not really sure what to do. And I remember our captains were like, guys, this is another game. Like, I know people are gonna come out of this and and the color of your metal is going to dictate uh, you know, how some people might feel about you or how you're judged, but internally you have to know you've got to be proud of the process. And this is why you play the game. This is why people sit and watch us. This is why you do the extra training that you do. And um, you just have to go out there and make it worth it. And if you aren't nervous for a game like that, I don't even know you're not real. Because like it's a gold medal game. You're you've trained for the past, I would say for me, the past 15 years to be there. Um, and unfortunately, like there was a point in the game where I thought, hmm, I might come out of this on the end where I, you know, don't want to be. And that would ruin, you know, all these years of my training and kind of had to flip that around and say, nope, we're not gonna think that way. Just got to be ready to go and give everything you've got out there.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

It's one thing to say, like, hey, this is just another game. It's a whole nother thing to embody it and internalize it. How do you close that gap from it being a saying versus the reality of I can just accept that this is just another game and I'm prepared for this moment? Like, what do you do to really shrink that gap and make it part of the embodiment?

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Yeah,

Journaling Through Fear And Belief

SPEAKER_01 2:01

I journal a lot um at the Olympics, and I'm not someone to journal often. I when I sit down, I like to just be free of everything. Uh so I think like when I was relaxing at the Olympics, um, I took some pictures, I'd print them off, and I would write next to them and just kind of like write write my thoughts. And I think being able to do that was nice. I read one the other day and it was like I feel a little bit scared. I just have seen so many great athletes, and I'm just here kind of like a person in the middle. Like I'm not sure exactly like what my purpose is. And then I remember like the next day I wrote, like, I had a great practice, and Hillary came up to me and said this. And, you know, I'm here for a reason. There's a reason why I'm on this team. And you kind of just have to believe it. And obviously, like that says a lot for someone at the highest level to, you know, have those doubts and be actually at the Olympics at staying in the Olympic village and think, like, like being here is crazy. And if I could go back and live it again, I would. Like it truly was super fun. And I think there were certain days where it got hard and it got long. And I, you know, my roommate and I uh had a blast, but we had to keep reminding ourselves like you're gonna look back on this moment and and want to go back and and live it all over again. So I think that's something that I always try to remind myself. Like, it's obviously a huge moment and it's something that people are gonna judge me based on, but I know for a fact, I know me, like the more I think about it and the worse things get, and the more anxiety I have, the worse things are. So I think you can meet in the middle. You meet in the middle and say, like, I'm here for a reason, and I've all this training I've done, all the people that I've seen, all the extra work I've done, like that's what this moment's for. And if I can't come up, or if I come up short, um, that's unfortunate. But that's another, then that means there's another four years for me to figure it out. And obviously, like four years is way too long. But I think being able to, you know, have the wherewithal to know that my purpose isn't in hockey, it's it's something bigger than that. Um, that kind of helped me a little bit too.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

When you talk about purpose outside of the game, I think a lot of people that don't understand high-level athletics, when you hear a lot of high-level athletes talk about having things outside of the game, having an identity outside of sport, they will look at that with judgment and say, oh, they're not serious about their sport or they're not fully committed or they have all these distractions. But there is truth to when you build a life or an identity outside of sport, it actually enables you to compete harder and more freely within your sport, particularly in gold medal games, which is for sure, the highest of games that you could possibly play in. And for you, when did it take, or maybe when did you experience that notion of, hey, maybe I do need to have a purpose greater than hockey, despite the skill set I've built?

SPEAKER_01 4:34

For sure. Definitely came in high school. Uh, I didn't always have the best high school team. I was usually the best player on the ice every time I went out to play. And I think that put a lot of pressure on me as a 15-year-old, 16-year-old to know that like when I had a bad game or like my teammate just didn't play good and we lost because of that. I kind of had to come home and think, like, I don't want to feel this way anymore. Like, I just feel bad. Like I, I'm mad. I'm mad at my teammates, I'm mad at this, I'm like mad at the world. I, why is this not fair? And like my parents, I blessed their hearts because they had to deal with that for like four years. And I think after that, like, whether you're outside of hockey, you know, you're faith-based, or you know, you have a family. I'm very um fortunate to have a fiance and a dog and a fantastic family that honestly are truly our favorite things is to not talk about hockey and to not do hockey. I think it's really, really hard. And I have those teammates where you know for a fact that things outside of hockey don't matter as much. And you can see the stress, the strain, the unhappiness that it brings. And I think coming from high school to college was huge because I had so much extra free time in college to think about like what I wanted to do with my life. And there was no professional league at the time. It kind of made me be serious about like hockey's gonna end one day and what am I gonna do after that? And my favorite thing, I talk about this in every podcast and everything that I do. Um, it's a hockey is not hockey is something I do, it's not who I am. And the minute you put your your foundation in something that can break you and crumble, um, I think it's a very dangerous game. So I've definitely done it. And, you know, you see the kids that do it, and it's very common these days to over-train and to overwork your body and to have your parents think you gotta do 50 million things. So I think like having the wherewithal to know, like I have things outside of hockey. And my favorite things is coming home from a game when it doesn't go well. And and just like now I I didn't have my dog this past season, but now I have it. Like my fiance, we just come home and I just, you know, I get five minutes to just let it rip. And if I have to say anything, I say it. And then after that, it's like we make a nice dinner and and then we watch our show and go to bed. And it's and we're gonna wake up tomorrow and the sun's still gonna shine.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

So I work with a lot of athletes on the identity piece and building out identity outside of sport. And one of the things that that's unique with performance is I talk about because every athlete faces not every athlete, but majority of athletes face the same battles, and they want the championship, they want the awards, they want the accolades, and those things feel like it's a part of them. And the way that I structure it, right, is there's like a performance identity and like a personal identity. And you want to build the person who is capable of winning those things, but you don't need those things for validation. For sure. What are, or like what do you do that puts your identity outside of sport? Like, where do you find your greatest comfort in solidifying who you are?

SPEAKER_01 7:21

Yeah, I think one of the things for me is faith-based. I've done a lot of work with that, uh, especially college-wise, like trying to find like why I do what I do and who I am. And I think that that's definitely something that it keeps me going every day to understand. Like, I'm here for a bigger purpose. I'm not here to play hockey. Obviously, God gave me the gift, many gifts, and hockey is one of them. And a lot of things that I try to think about when it comes to, you know, outside the sport is one of my favorite things is when I go and meet young girls, and you know, they want me to sign their jersey and whatnot, and they're like, you're just like you are on social media, or you're just like that. I just want to be an authentic person. And I'm pretty spunky and passionate. And I feel like obviously why I do what I do comes from the love of the game. But also I get to do a lot of really cool things. I go to the SVs, I do all these things, but I understand that a lot of that has to do with my performance. So sometimes you have to look back at like, I want to be an authentic person, but also for me to do what I want to do, I really have to be successful in my sport. So that goes back to whether, you know, I go and train and I do these things. Like it's not just because I get to do fun things, but I want to be authentic in what I'm doing and who I'm partnering with and the things that I'm able to accomplish. Um, but outside of the sport, it's super important for me to, you know, mentally be good and spend those days outside of hockey away from the sport because it truly is so good for you to not only, you know, if you're in high school, play another sport, but have so many other passions. I love being outside. I love hiking. I love traveling. I love just taking my dog on a walk, going, you know, with my fiance on a boat ride. Like there's just so many fun things that get your mind off the sport. Because if you truly live and die and breathe for your sport that you play, I really haven't seen anyone succeed that way.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

I love that. It's because a lot of people don't have routines. They don't have post-game routines, they don't have post-failure, post-success routines that help them eliminate decompress or move on from said performance. In that same breath, like you said, like performance does matter. Like your successes are going to dictate certain opportunities, whether it be contractual, whether it be through sponsorships, whether it be through you name it, and success does matter, especially if you're competitive. Like the more competitive you are naturally, the more that you're going to want to win. So I am someone who always says like the outcomes do matter. For sure. But there's a there's a striking dichotomy between the outcomes mattering and being everything, and finding that middle ground is super challenging.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

Yeah, I I think I'm still trying to find that middle ground, and I'm 26. Um so yeah, I feel like, you know, being at the highest level and and playing in high school and playing in college and doing all these fun things. Like you kind of have to play the game in the middle where um as a kid, like I missed a lot of birthday parties and I did a lot of these things where, you know, my teammates never understood why. And now people understand. Like, I even have friends back in the day that even now will say, like, I understand why you did that. And I understand why you tried hard and why you did this. And like they're living a very different life from me. And I'm very, very thankful for the life that I live in, you know, what I'm able to do based on my sport, but also know, like, a lot of that comes from who I am, and a lot of that comes from, you know, me being me and and getting my name out there and and doing what I do. So I think the biggest thing for me is like, how impactful am I being in my community? How impactful am I being to those little girls in the stands? Obviously, like they're not gonna come up to me and say, like, oh, I remember your goal from three years ago. They're gonna say, I remember you waved to me when I was, when you were on the bus and I was on the street. Like, those are the little things that matter and being impactful in someone's life is very important that way as well. So, like finding the middle ground of why you do what you do, it's not always performance. It has a lot to do with your impact and like what makes you feel whole as a person. Um, because hockey doesn't. And that like is it's very apparent to me that like hockey, when it's fun, it's fun, but when it's not, you really have to find a way to like battle around that.

Purpose Beyond Sport And Identity

SPEAKER_01 11:15

So, like I do have a post-game routine and I have, you know, a way that, you know, sometimes me and my roommate, we just go out for a steak dinner in between like a tough road match and we just lost. Like, you have to have routines because if you don't prepare for failure, it will hit you hard. And everyone fails. So having a failure response is very important.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

What does your failure response look like?

SPEAKER_01 11:36

For me, I would definitely say a big part of why I do what I do comes with consistency. So if I'm not able to be consistent, a lot of what I do is not gonna be great. So I think being consistent is I have my mental days where I always bring a face mask and I eye patches on the road. I like to make sure the night before a game I'm resting. And I, you know, if that's on TikTok or if that's me reading a book, that's that. So I think um being able to just have those responses and know for a fact, like sometimes I tell my dad, I call my dad before every game. Sometimes I tell my dad and I say, you know, I don't think I can talk about the game right now if I'm being completely honest with you, because I think I'm gonna get too riled up on the topic. Um, but let's talk about the three things that I wanted to focus on in the game. I think I did well on two of them. Sometimes you have to bring it back in to the smaller areas of the game. Um and then also know my failure is like it happens. It's not gonna like just not happen. Failure happens, and at the highest level, it just matters a little bit more here and there. Well, like, like I said, me and my roommate will go for a steak dinner and I call my mom if I ever need like a little pick-me-up and for her to humble me a little bit. There's just so many different things. I have breakfast for dinner. If I'm really feeling like I need to have a pick-me-up, it's like I will have pancakes for dinner. Like being able to choose that and be an adult is so fun because little things like that, they just matter more. And I think now having a dog who's literally biting the crap out of my sweatshirt right now, it's fun because he he doesn't care how I played. He doesn't care about the things that I'm doing. Like, he just wants me to come home and give him some pets. So I think that that that's fun. I'm gonna pause you for a second because he just bit me. So I'm gonna go give him a treat and I'll be right back.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

You're good.

SPEAKER_01 13:16

Hey, he's teething like an absolute maniac right now. So he's just biting on my arm. He likes elbows.

SPEAKER_00 13:24

What kind of dog?

SPEAKER_01 13:26

He's a burning doodle.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

So he's uh he's a cute little guy, yeah. But he's intense right now. He's having mouthing pains. So I found my shoe the other day and there was blood on it, and I'm like, what happened? He had lost a tooth while he was chewing on my shoe and it was in my shoe.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

So I've seen that before with dogs. I have a dog too, so I get it.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

He lost four teeth last week. I'm like, you're a maniac.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

But that is awesome.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

We can go back to the topic because I know that was off.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

No, we're good. We're good. People do see you though, and in and they want the gold medal, they want the stardom, they want to play professional and Olympic hockey, but what they don't see is the life that we're it requires to get there. And you alluded to it a little bit earlier, the missing birthdays, to the things that your friends didn't understand at the time. Give me some insight as like what does that look like? Like, what does the grunt work look like to get from now? Of course, you had natural talent, for sure, but to get from where you started to really the stardom that you're in right now, what does that look like? Where are the sacrifices? What does the commitment look like?

SPEAKER_01 14:33

Yeah, I think now it's like I live a very comfortable life in the sense of I did so many things growing up and in college to prepare myself for I am today. There's a lot of girls that, you know, skate five days a week, and I probably skate four to five, so I'm very close. But in the offseason, I don't have to go to the shooting instructors, I don't have to do these things because I've done them and I'm very particular with like I tried to perfect when I did things. I think something I'm very thankful for my parents of is, you know, when I drove to the cities, it was an hour and a half. Like some girls drove five minutes to practice and their parents would drop them off and it would be just like a lolly gag deal. If I had an hour and a half practice up in the cities, I was driving two times that amount to get there, like and get back. And I had my grandpa driving me, my dad driving me, just the grunt work that had to go into me just getting on the ice. Very, very thankful for them because I went out and I practiced like I played. And I think that was huge. And when I was in high school, I was training every day. I would get, I would go home really quick after school and I would do my homework really, really quick because I had my mom's a teacher. So making sure that got done well. Um, and then I would go out and I would train for three or four hours. So, like it it is a little bit crazy, but when you think about it and understand, you know, how I got to where I'm at and where I'm at now, it makes a lot of sense. In the time being, that's why people didn't understand. They're like, you came from a town that didn't have hockey. You don't have even have a parent that's ever played. You don't have a thought in your head about where you're gonna go. So there was a lot of doubters in my story and and people that didn't believe that I was gonna get to where I'm at. And it's so fun because even today, like I remember some of those people are like some of my biggest supporters. And how could you know if it wasn't a thing? Professional hockey wasn't a thing. How can you tell a young girl that's training three hours a day to try to just be something that she's proud of? I think is super, super fun. So I think that's something that I look at and I love very, very much about my process is it wasn't it wasn't easy. And I think that that made everything so much more fun because now I can look back and say I did all those trainings and I worked so hard that I would classify my training and things that I do now as very consistent. I get to do what I want, and it's based on things I love to do because of what I did growing up. So it's hard to even explain what I did because I truly just grinded for years and years and years, and I miss birthdays and I miss this. And there's certain things that I wish I could get back, but I have gained so much based on the things that I've been able to do.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

I don't think people realize who haven't gone through extreme, extremely difficult things on the other side to experience what that joy is like. And for sure if you haven't done something in your life where it's been incredibly difficult and there's been trials and tribulations and extreme failure and extreme success and these highs and lows, I don't think you can truly appreciate what you're saying. And so for you, when especially like when you're younger, like try and describe your relationship with the doing the hard things and doing it for the love of it and like what felt like work, what didn't. Like, what did that like what did that feel like, especially at a young age?

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Yeah, it's so hard too, because like I can't even like fully speak to it. Um, because I just think in the moment, like I was just young and like so many things hit me so much harder than they do now. Like if I had to miss a training session, I'm like, oh well, I'm not an Olympian, I'm not gonna be an Olympian anymore. Like my mom's making me go to grandma's birthday party, like just thinking about that kind of stuff where I think I've grown so much in not only my faith, but my appreciation for things outside the sport and how they can help you grow and be more holistically like a better person. I think it's so fun because I do value so many things outside the game. And I think some people can look at you like me on social media and whatever, and they're like, she's not as serious. And I think, and as a kid, I might have even believed that because I didn't understand, and there wasn't people in my profession doing that. So I think for me, like I was grinding a lot behind closed doors. There's a lot of people these days where their kids are on social media and and there's documentaries about them and all these things showing kids of how they can do it. There was no blueprint for me. There was no blueprint on you should do this and you should do pull-ups. And there's a lot of things that I overdid that I have had double hip surgery and I probably have a bad back. Like, there's just a lot of things that like I kind of just had to figure out myself. And I think one thing about my fiance and and people in my life is like I was very independent and I kind of was just like, it's for me, and I'm just gonna figure it out because I've always been that way. And that's what happens when you live in a basketball household and decide you want to play hockey. So I think like being able to let people in and be vulnerable and and different things. I think my parents and and obviously Parker, my fiance, I give them major props because I'm not even I'm not always the easiest to work with. And I think I've just gained a lot of respect for not only parents, but the process it takes to get to where you're at. Because it's even hard to describe it. Now I'd have to sit here and talk to you for three hours to go back on like all the little things that I've been able to do. But I had faith in the fact that I was gonna be successful. And whether that was basketball, whether it was hockey, whether that was jumping rope, like that's something I did on a daily basis because I was told it was gonna make me better. I'm very grateful that kids these days have a better blueprint and be able to have people on social media like me and and other people that can show them like what their life can look like if they continue to work hard.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

How much of this like obsession was like natural versus how much was coached into you? Was it a combination or was it like from the get-go, you're like, I this, I just want this?

SPEAKER_01 20:01

I have very competitive siblings as well. So I think like my parents and my siblings, like whatever we were doing, I wanted to be the best. Soccer, basketball, all those things. So naturally, innately competitive was I think number one. And then two, I always knew I wanted to be successful. Like I didn't want to work a nine to five. I wanted to play a sport where I was very passionate about it. Um, and I always say when I wake up and I don't want to play anymore, um, I won't play. Um, it's just not something that I feel passionate enough about to like just grind through a day. And I live that day 365 days a year. Like I took a little bit more time off this summer because of injury and the Olympics and whatnot. But like last year coming up to the Olympics, I took two weeks off after the season. And my summer consists of hockey every single day. So I think being able to have the right thought process and have things outside of hockey. That's why when we talk about this, it means so much because it's just so important to have a balanced life. And I think I am very competitive. That's number one. I love the sport of hockey, but also like three, like I love doing new things and being able to be in the sport and work hard. Like, I'm like, I want to do what she's doing. Like, I wanted to be like Hillary Knight. And now I get to be on a team with her, and like just looking at that is it's it's pretty full circle.

Doubt, Drive, And Making Training Fun

SPEAKER_00 21:14

Something you talked about earlier about the doubt that you experienced before the gold medal game, and yet you go out and you get the game-winning assist. It's even at the highest level, what's fascinating about human behaviors you are by all definitions one of the best, if not the best in the world at what you do, and yet you're still experiencing some of this doubt, regardless. But then the funny part is like you talk as well as like you know you're an example to other people, you know you're a blueprint, you know that you're good and one of the best in the world, but yet somehow that doubt still creeps in. Where do you think that comes from and what has been your best approach to handling that?

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Yeah, I think doubt's human behavior. I think unfortunately, like a lot in people's lives, a lot of people let People let them down or they weren't successful. And I think a lot of my story is um, which I take great pride in, is that people just think I'm successful and that I just get things and that things just come to my door and I'm just on the Olympic team because of that. Um so I think like my story and being like one of the last ones cut in 2022 for the Olympics, uh having my best friend go, having a lot of my friends make the team and me not making it, I don't think it's talked about enough. Um, because that is why it was so important for me in 2026 to be there and to do all the little things and enjoy the heck out of it because you never know when you're gonna get back. Like it uh the Olympics are such a crazy experience, but also looking back on all the other fun things I've been able to do, life just gets really crazy and doubt creeps in regardless. I am notorious for like hating starting games. I would much rather be in the second lineup. Uh I love to just watch how the vibe's gonna go right away and like be able to fly off the bench. That's just something I'm passionate about. And I unfortunately do have to start often, um, which is fine. I've found a way to deal with it. But I one of my nervous twitches is I yawn. I've always done it since a kid, since I was a kid. When I get to the city, we share that, Taylor. I yawn too. Yep. And my teammates are like, dude. And I like have caffeine, and I I mean, I could have all the caffeine in the world, and I still am gonna do it. And I do it on the line for the national anthem. And I in my head am thinking, I hope people don't think I'm yawning at the singer. Like I always have a little bit of nervousness, and I wouldn't even say that's doubt because it's not. Like it's hockey's a game, and you're gonna lose and you're gonna win, and you're gonna tie, and you know, you you're gonna score, and you're gonna get scored on, you're gonna have eternal work. Like these are just inevitable things, but reminding yourself that it's gonna happen and having a good like failure routine is huge.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

Do you think you can coach that internal drive that you have, or do you have to be born with it?

SPEAKER_01 23:50

I think it's a mix. Um, I think you have to be shown um what the other side looks like a little bit. For me, I didn't really get that side. So I think innately, like I was just kind of more competitive than those around me. And I understood like I didn't want to end up like a certain way. And I think that that's probably perceived wrong because I looked at some people that were in my town or, you know, in the area that I was, and you know, they end up being a washed-up athlete where like there would like they just burnt out and and and it wasn't fun anymore. Like I knew I didn't want to get there. So I wanted to make sure sport was fun. Like I signed up for the best teams, I wanted to be on the most competitive teams. I, you know, did fun things and always tried to make my routines at home very um new. So whether that was me doing moves or like I would write things down. Like my training schedule, I was like a psychotic 12-year-old. I had a calendar and I would write down what I did every day. And then I would say, like, okay, here's what I do for jump rope, but I had my mom printed out and laminated at school so I could have it up so I could see it. So, like those are little things I made things fun when I would do it. And I think it was so fun. Like I had have two brothers, obviously, and um, they both are very, very good at what they do. So for us to be able to do things off the ice, where like I'm not as good basketball-wise, but they enjoyed having me play pig because we are like it just brings a different vibe. I loved getting them on the ice and shooting pucks and playing pig and doing all those things too, like just being able to find things outside of your sport that are so fun that you can bring into your sport, whether that's me tying, you know, popcans to my net. So when I shoot and I hit them, it's more fun because you hear a noise or like jump roping and then in the middle, you know, going and playing with my animals, like making sure things are fun. Because when you just grind through something, it's the worst. Um, and I think the biggest thing for me was like, if my parents told me to go do it, probably didn't want to do it. So for me innately, my parents knew that. Like if I wanted to do it, I was going to do it. And I thought it was so funny. One of my friends who I'm still friends with to this day, she had to ask her parents to go to practice. She had to be like, I want to go to practice today. Can you bring me? Because or else, if she didn't want to go, they weren't gonna go. And I think it's kind of funny. And she's very successful now. So I wouldn't say every path is the same for everyone, but it's really cool to look back on.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

How do you define fun? I feel like fun is different for everybody, and it's something that's really hard to measure because there's a lot about sport that isn't fun. But like, because like I think of like my own journey. So obviously I'm not I'm not an Olympian, but like being a you know division one football player, like there was a lot of sacrifice I had in my own life growing up. I missed a lot of birthday parties. I didn't go out, you know, drinking, I wasn't doing you know, scandalous things with my buddies, even though I could probably get away with like ding-dong ditching, but like I wasn't egging houses, like I wasn't doing dumb things. And like a lot of times, like, you know, I talk to people like I'd wake up early, I'd get a workout in before school, I'd have school, I'd come home, I'd have practice. After practice, I would have training again, and I wouldn't get back. Now, let's say I wasn't a good student, I'll be honest. Naturally, I fortunately I would I was intelligent, but like wasn't studious. Right. But like I'm not getting back home until nine, 10 o'clock at night. And at that point, you know, I'm throwing on friends, watching an episode of friends, and then going to bed. And like like a lot of that didn't like feel like like it didn't feel like a lot of work, even though it was, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

Yeah, people always say you don't work a day in your life if you love what you do. So I think that that's a big part. Like people look at me and think, like, oh, you do this much in the summer, plus you do social engagements, plus you're getting married and you got a dog and like you're seeing these people and doing all these things, like it's very fun. And yes, I do get overwhelmed. I will say, like, I get overstimulated. My fiance knows he's like, Oh, you're overstimulated. We're gonna have to pull back on what we're doing. Uh, but like when you know who you're with and you know yourself, you know your limits. I think fun is obviously it's like a term where it's gonna be different in everyone's life, but like finding fun for me when I was 13 and finding fun for me when I'm 26 is very different. I have friends coming over for dinner tonight, and it's gonna be extremely fun for me to make dinner for them. And I remember as a kid being like, oh, my mom has to make dinner, like, uh, add it to the list of things you have to do. And I always try to think about it like I get to do a lot. And like, yes, there's things I have to do. I have to take out the trash. I have to take my dog on a walk. Like, there's things that like you just have to do in life, but like getting to do a lot of things is like that's the fun part, I think, is changing your mindset on of what things are important to you and what things like you value to the highest extent. And I think being able to have a good balance of like, yeah, there's things in life. Like your parents want you to do your chores, you should do them. Like realistically, there's things that you have to do and there's things that you want to do. And you'll make time for both if they're important.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

What was like your raw emotional responses growing up and even now to like failure and losses? And by like raw emotional response, like, are you someone who gets mad? Are you someone who cries? Like, what does that look like?

SPEAKER_01 28:43

I think it changed. Obviously, I'm 26 now, but like it's changed over time. There's a lot of times where, you know, I get really mad and my parents would know, like, we're just not gonna speak for an hour, like in the car. And and I just needed to think about it. And when I chose to talk, then we can, you know, have a good conversation. Um, there's times where I had mental breakdowns in high school where I was like, I don't understand why my teammates can't love the sport like me. And I, in my head, like I'm 14 years old, like I I couldn't understand that. And it makes sense. And now, you know, I have a roommate who, you know, does everything I do. We train together, we, you know, we do all these things, and um, we have very different responses to failure. And we both know exactly what that person does and what that person needs to get back to where you want to be. And I think for me, I need to talk it out occasionally. Like if we have a bad game and you know, my line didn't play well and whatever. Grace, my roommate, you know, I'm like, okay, we'll we're gonna take five minutes and we're just gonna unload. Each of us just get to go at it and just say exactly what we have to say. Um, and then after that, like, let's go get a treat and let's forget about it because at the end of the day, it's just a game. Hockey is just a game and it's a it's something that I do for my job, but yeah, it's gonna let you down. And like I said, if you don't have an emotional response for something like that, it's really hard to play the game that you do.

SPEAKER_00 30:03

Yeah, I always wonder it's unique because so I have three young kids. I have a daughter who's five, a daughter who's two and a half, and a son who's 10 months. And my five-year-old has a strong aptitude to golf already. Like really nice swing, like natural, and like every dad says that, right? Like, I get it, but like natural, like we go to my parents belong to a country club, we go to the country club, and she's just relentless, hit.

SPEAKER_01 30:30

Nelly Corda, essentially.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

We watch Nelly Corda highlights, and that's the other thing. Like, both my daughters, like they love Scottie Scheffler, and so we'll watch golf all weekend, and we have to we have to watch Scotty. So we'll watch the featured group with Scotty Scheffler and we'll watch him swing over and over. The emotional responses to both my daughters, obviously, my son's 10 months, so he doesn't care about anything right now, except what he's getting fed next. They are big criers, though. And like when they fail, or my daughter doesn't hit one good and she hits three bad in a row, or they lose its immediate tantrum crying. And it's funny because like I was actually probably very similar at a young age, but the hard part, and I try and explain it to my wife as well, where it's like I'm actually glad they have this strong emotional response because it shows they care. Not correct. Sports is everything, but they have that that draw to it, the draw to success and failure. I would be more concerned if they didn't have the response. The harder part as a parent in like coaching is like, where do we channel that next? Like, how do we correct that even at a young age to understand like caring is good, but the response more is what matters.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

For sure.

Failure Responses And Emotional Control

SPEAKER_01 31:47

Yeah. I think like I have definitely had poor emotional responses to a lot of things, especially growing up. And I think like my parents were like, that's embarrassing. Like I remember thinking, like, I can't do this because this is actually embarrassing. And like seeing a kid in the grocery store like cry about not getting candy, I could have never done that. That's so embarrassing physically to me because I don't like people looking at me. And that's crazy to say because my life is in the spotlight and I'm the center of attention here and there, but I don't like it. Like it's not fun for me. So I think like your emotional response to failure, like you said, it's very important that your kids care about what they're doing. But also like their emotional response will grow with time. Like that's what I think the biggest thing is like it's okay to fail. Like a I have seen these videos of kids where they fall down and your response is being like, Oh my god, are you okay? And they're immediately gonna cry because they're not sure. Like you're kind of making them unsure. But I have a teammate that has a has a little boy and he'd fall over and she's like, All right, good job. And then he gets back up and he's like, Okay. Like, I think your emotional response, especially growing up, has a lot to do with your environment and you know, just what you've seen is okay. And I think a lot of that, like I said, has to do with the social environment that you're surrounded by.

SPEAKER_00 32:58

I try and tell all my kids, but my daughters, obviously, because they're a little bit older, is like, it's okay to fall down, it's okay to cry, but you have to stand back up. Like that's like the number one rule I have with them is when you fall down, regardless of how bad it hurts, stand back up. Once you stand up, then I can pick you up, hold you, and see what's going on. But you have to stand back up. And I do my best to like understand their ages, but I do try and talk to them like they're mature, like I used mature conversations to hope that one day it compounds over time and resonates with them. And that's like the hardest part with like athletics and my kids may never end up playing sports. I don't know, but the more important part is like the life lessons that that come from sport to instill those into kids at young ages, I think can get lost in the shuffle. And it's less about making my kid practice or telling them we have to do this, but more about the important stories and development of like resilience to apply to whatever endeavor that they may choose.

SPEAKER_01 33:52

Yeah, I think the biggest thing, one of the things that my parents would talk about was like, we don't care what you're passionate about. Like, if you're gonna have us at the hockey ring six days a week, I really hope that hockey's your passion. But if you find out in 14 years old that it's not, we're not gonna sit here and tell you you have to do it. Like, you are gonna be behind in life if you continue to do something you don't love because at the age of what, 20, you're gonna show up and be like, this sucks, and I don't want to do this anymore. And now I'm so far behind in all of the things I've ever loved that I can't find anything. And that's when you lose purpose. And I think that that can be a really scary time for people. So, like my parents, for example, like I said, I if I didn't want to do it, like uh it's really not worth it. I tell kids if you don't want to shoot pucks and you're gonna go through the motions, you're gonna gain three bad habits doing that. You're gonna hate it, you're not gonna use the right form, and you're gonna learn that like it's okay to just push through things when you do and and honestly, that could be a positive here and there. Sometimes you gotta push through things that you don't want to do to get to a positive outcome, but more so being able to have a good reaction to failure, have a good reaction to, you know, having a great day. I think there's very different things. So my fiancee and I come home, we're like, oh, how was your day? And someone says, Oh, it was okay. And they don't he doesn't want to talk to me about it. That's fine. Maybe down in at 8 p.m. at night when we're having ice cream, that we can say, okay, so-and-so said this today, and like, oh, it just kind of ruined my day. Sometimes you just have to talk about it. And like I am, you can tell I'm very vocal and I have my opinions on a lot of things, but I love being able to talk things out. And I when I was a kid, my parents were great with it. Like sitting at the dinner table, sure, you want to talk about hockey again? Great, let's do it. Sometimes you have to talk it out. And I think, especially with females, it's like we're we're very emotional beings and being able to have people that understand you and and being able to have people that can sit there and and and really converse with you about things. That's something that my fiance and I love doing because we're both very vocal. So, like being able to have that response to failure is huge because some people just internally shut down. And to me, those people have an absolute mental breakdown come a month because you can't keep compounding failure and compounding hard times and compounding not speaking to people before it comes out. So I always say the more you can get out, the better it is for you in the future.

SPEAKER_00 36:11

Do you because it is a very delicate balance between covering your emotions, suppressing them versus leaning too much into them versus finding the healthy amount to address them and move on? How do you know when you've healthily addressed an emotion and that you're able to fully progress and move past it without dwelling on something?

SPEAKER_01 36:31

Yeah, I think over my years I've really grown through what it takes to like get past an argument, get past and forgive someone or get past like just a bad day. Um, in high school, it really would stick with me. Say, I always use this example. I'm very type A. And I remember I was working out, and my mom was like, I really need you to go pick up your brother in town. Um, I'm really busy. And I remember it like actually ruined my day. I had to quit my workout, mid-workout, go get him, bring him back. And I remember we had to stop and get him food or do something like that. And I got back and I remember I was so mad, and my mom's like, like, what are we doing? Like that ruined your day. There's people dying, Taylor. There's people not with enough food, and you're out here worrying about the fact that you had to go pick up your brother. So I think like a story like that is so funny to me now because that, like, sure, I can leave in the middle of the workout. Like, I have learned so much through my parents and my family and the people that surround me every day. Like, life is gonna hit you when it hits you, and you just have to be prepared and ready to take it on. For example, people get a flat tower on the side of the road and you always see them, and they're always like this. Good thing we got triple A and it's not gonna ruin your day. Like, I I think there's always things in life that are gonna come up. And when you come up short, I remember losing to Montreal last year and like felt like such a terrible, a terrible feeling. And I remember now throughout the summer, that's what pushes me through. So bad things tend to turn good for a lot of people, and that's sometimes the the the way that I take failure is that it's gonna happen. I don't want to prepare for it to happen because I don't want it to happen, but I want to have a response just in case it does.

SPEAKER_00 38:08

Now, looking over your story, you start small town without hockey. People misunderstand you and say, Why are you doing this? You don't have a blueprint, they don't have professional hockey. So you have this like chip on your shoulder, prove everyone wrong, you love the process, and then it shifts and you become this spotlight of a player, you have these expectations. And I say, like, the the weight of expectations is different than playing with the freedom of the chip on your shoulder. How did you handle that shift going from chip on the shoulder to weight of expectations? And did your process change throughout that?

SPEAKER_01 38:44

Yeah, uh, I think the weight of different people's expectations can, you know, weigh you down. I always think about like you put an empty glass in a in a bowl full of water, it can stay up. If you keep putting coins in that, it at one point will sink. And I always say, like, if you're not taking coins out and you're doing a face mask at night and I'm talking about my emotions, I get to go hang out with my friends and have dinner. I'm going and having a steak dinner. I'm making a dessert for myself, like these things, and you keep compounding, like so-and-so said this to me at practice, my so-and-so's sick. This happened, this happened, like the compounding of that, plus saying like all these girls are looking up to me, and I have to be perfect and I have to do these things, it can be a lot. And and honestly, genuinely, it can be very overwhelming. And I have great people in my life that check in on me on a daily basis to make sure that I'm not overwhelmed. Cause for me, when I'm overwhelmed, I'm not the best person that I want to be. So being able to genuinely be able to like see little girls and be genuinely excited to sign autographs and to tell them about the way that I live my life, I have to be able to decompress in another way. So just being able to have that emotional response to stress, emotional response to failure, emotional response to like the best day ever. Um, very important for me. And I feel like I'm very intellectual in the fact that I understand how I'm feeling and I know how I can get out of that or kind of like make myself more neutral. I try to obviously live my life. I do such amazing things, but there's also things that come along that aren't fun. Working out at 6 a.m. is not fun. I've done it. I choose now to know that if for me to be my best, I probably should get six, like seven hours of sleep at night. So being able to work out at nine is is better for me personally at the age of 26. So the weight of expectation for me is if I get up, I can get all my stuff done. And I have, for example, I have a game. I had a game last night. And I knew that it was gonna take me 30 minutes to get out of the game because there were kids that wanted autographs, and there's kids that wanted me to sign this and do all these things. So I knew before that that I probably needed to take some time to myself yesterday because I knew that I would have to be my best self come 8:30 at night. And I know a bit about myself, and I'm very passionate about the fact that I need to be my genuine self out in the out in public. So I have that response, and I feel like I, you know, had that emotional response to no. Like it is very important for me to do what I do and to show these kids that you can live the life I live. Um, but also like it's very important to be a great human. And I think

Expectations, Unplugging, And The Gold Medal

SPEAKER_01 41:09

my parents have it bestowed that upon me ever since I was very young that being a good person is it's it's more important than being a good athlete to me at least.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

What is your like guilty pleasure completely unplug? You're like, I've had a rough day, rough week. I need to just unplug and do whatever the heck I want. What is like your guilty pleasure version of that?

SPEAKER_01 41:27

Yeah, I am in the midst of wedding planning. Um, I get married in like two weeks. So I haven't had a lot of time. Congratulations. Thank you. Uh, but I feel like during the season, or like if I have an opt day, I will get up, have like the best breakfast ever, like make this extravagant meal, go on a walk, and then I probably will go shopping or like do something in between where like it makes me happy. Come home, take an everything shower, and put a face mask on. Like, honestly, just being able to decompress, and then my fiance and I'll usually watch a movie or like do something that's like nothing at the same point. Like, truly just having good company is like honestly one of the best things that you can do nowadays. Like at my age, I feel like it's just so fun. Like, even going out to dinner, like that's sometimes a chore. Like you have to get ready, you're making a reservation, you're like in public, you're doing these things. That's why I love cooking and baking at home. That's another guilty pleasure of mine, is like actually just making and cooking things in my house that I love to eat, whether that's a cheeseburger, whether that's, you know, chocolate chip cookies, or that's fruit, like being able to do that stuff, I love with a passion. Like it's such a normalized thing to make dinner, but it's something I enjoy.

SPEAKER_00 42:34

Did you ever have like a moment where you knew, like, okay, I I've made it, like I have accomplished everything that I wanted to accomplish, or does it still kind of feel surreal to you?

SPEAKER_01 42:45

Yeah, I feel like my life is very surreal. I I live like I feel like a normal person, and then I go to the grocery store, and then someone wants a selfie, and then everyone around me is like, whoa, what is happening? This person just shops in a normal place. But I would say for me, like I have achieved everything that I've set out to do. I remember I had a list when I was a kid, and I and I've done it all. But now there's new things to add. There's like being MVP of, you know, the league and doing this and winning more world championships and winning another gold medal and like going to another Olympics. Um, but after the Olympics, I remember thinking like I was kind of scared of how I was gonna feel after the Olympics because it was everything I've ever wanted. And I knew that once I achieved it, um, I was never worried that I wouldn't find something else that I loved. But I remember I had this feeling where after a few days when I was on the flight home, I was like, whoa, like I've done it. Like I now I've done it all. And I knew in my head, like I would never deter from what I'm doing. Like me, because I've been to the Olympics, I don't have to try harder. I don't have to try less hard. Like I feel like I'm continuing to live the same life and I live a very fun life, but also I love it. So, like what I do, I love, and I think that pushes me forward. But it was a little bit of a scary moment to think like, okay, I've done it all, like, what's next? And I'm very like, what What's next focus? When I go to the grocery store, I write it down of everything I want on a list and I check it off. I'm a checked off like box person. I do all these things. I'm like, okay, what's next? And I think it can be scary for athletes because sometimes there's not a what's next. Sometimes you can't make a team, or there's not a team for you to play on, and there's this, and it's very scary. So having things outside the sport that are important to you and and having a, like you said, a failure routine, uh, I think can really help kids.

SPEAKER_00 44:27

Was the gold medal everything you thought it would be?

SPEAKER_01 44:30

It was so cool. That's a great question, too, because I get asked about it a lot. Like, I, you know, it's safe in my house. Like I don't see it very often, but I know it's there. And in my heart, um, I think what's more important to me is the experience that I had with my team and being able to have like the the that was by far the best team I've ever been on, talent-wise and people-wise, it was amazing as well. But like the experience that I gained from it really puts things into perspective because I grew up and I remember like I wanted to skip what I was doing to watch the Olympics because and I wasn't even watching hockey, I was just watching everything. I was watching everything. I remember me and my mom are so passionate about watching volleyball and gymnastics, and I would always turn it on and we would sit down and we would physically just sit there and watch. And I remember thinking, like in my head when I was playing games, and like people are watching me, like kids are on their couch watching our sport, and it's so cool to think of because it's a like a holistic, like full circle moment that you never think about. And I always thought it could happen, but once it's happened, you're like, oh wow. Like, I don't even know the impact that I have right now. Like, I can't even like put it on a scale. Like, I couldn't tell you that. I just know that there's impact, and that's something that's very important.

SPEAKER_00 45:39

Do you think because obviously you played incredibly well throughout the Olympics, at least statistically? I don't know how you judged your own performance, but statistically, you were unbelievable. Do you think if you would have played poorly, it would have maybe tainted the gold medal or changed your perspective of the Olympics?

SPEAKER_01 45:56

I think there's two different sides to that. I think if I played poorly and we still won, I don't think it would have mattered as much to me because people just remember the medal. They don't remember your performances. I think if I would have played poorly and we would have lost, yes, I do think that would have tainted my experience. And I would have had to look back at it and say, like, I am so grateful to be an Olympian that I'm here, which I think is funny because in hockey, you know, it's mostly the US and Canada, but there's a lot of upcoming countries that, you know, make it our job very difficult, which I love. But I think some people are like so excited to just be an Olympian and like never medal and never place, just to say you're an Olympian and I don't feel the same way, obviously, based on my sport and the things that I'm expected to do and what our team is expected to do. So that's something I've never understood. But now actually being at the Olympics and understanding the pride that comes with being an Olympian and being one of the best in your sport in the world, it's a very special feeling. So I I do, I, I do see both sides. But yes, I I think both ways could have impacted the way that I think about things. But like the the the way that my team went about it and how amazing everything was, it honestly couldn't have been better. I don't think. I think we we lived it at the top, the top of the top. And if I could go back, I would.

SPEAKER_00 47:09

So you're the you're the second gold medalist I've had on the show. Connor Fields, uh BMX gold medalist for the US, uh I had previously a couple years ago now. And Olympians are always some of my favorite athletes to speak with because it is once every four years. And one thing that he says that has stuck in my mind since then is like when you're an Olympian, it's you are on the clock, 24-7, 365, and like everything you do matters. And he talks about like the commitment that he had, and we've talked about this a lot, but that's something that just echoes through my mind about that. And then it's so cool to hear how you handle that and how you create fun in your day, and you do these things outside of sport, and you spend time with your fiance and your dog, and you have all these different levers that you pull when it's necessary. How long, like the experience that you've had, like how often did that change before you found the things that worked for you?

SPEAKER_01 48:07

Oh gosh, I still feel like I'm failing every day. Like, truly, I think that there's times where I'm like, I probably should flip that around. I should change a little bit of that and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, doing like all of the fun stuff in my life. Like, I fail every day. And I think if you don't fail, like you're not trying hard enough. You're right, you're really not. Because if you want, I've never wanted my life to become just neutral. I want to, you know, there's highs and there's lows. There's always gonna be those things. Um, but I'm still finding things in my life that I'm like, okay, that doesn't work anymore. Like you just grow out of things. Like you grow out of sleeping with a blankie when you're a kid, or having like a nookie, and like all those things you you learn through experience. And I've had a lot of really cool experiences and I've had a lot of crappy experiences and learning through them all, and I'm 26, learning through them all at the ripe age of 26 has been super fun because I've learned what works for me and I've learned what doesn't. And sometimes being predictable is boring, and I don't always want to be predictable. I think having predictable performance is great on the ice, your teammates and the people around you know exactly what they're gonna get from you. But like I want my life to be kind of unpredictable. That's something my fiance Parker has shown me through our relationship is I used to stay in my box and I would do a lot of things. I would train, I would eat, I would sleep, I would be with my family, and that was kind of what was in it. And now it's like I'm trying sushi and we're going out to eat and we're going to the Espies and we have a dog and we have a house and we're paying a mortgage. Like, there's just so many fun things in life that like come along with working hard and being very persistent at what you do. But also there's times that I fail every day, like, ooh, I probably should have paid that on time, or I need to do this, or I should have left 10 minutes earlier for my workout. I don't want to be late. There's just certain things that matter to me that I now understand and I'm still learning through every day. So I think if you're done failing, um, you're just not trying hard enough.

SPEAKER_00 49:58

I

Leadership Style And Where To Connect

SPEAKER_00 49:59

know I gotta get you out here to to cook in for your for your guests, but no worries. Last question being someone who's like as authentic as you, how do you act as a leader? Like what is your leadership style that helps influence the behaviors of your teammates?

SPEAKER_01 50:13

It's a great question. I think I have been surrounded by so many amazing leaders in my life. Um, and all of them are different. We have ones that are lead by example on the ice. There's ones that lead by example off the ice, there's ones that lead by example based on their words. And there's people that base their perspective on things, on their words and their actions. And for me, I feel very passionate about the fact that I'm never gonna just follow you if you're just telling me what you expect from me and not showing me in your style of play. So I feel very confident about confidently about my style as though I'm I'm trying to let people know my expectation based on, you know, leadership skills verbally, and then also showing people. Um, I'm very visual. So when I see a drill, sometimes when it's drawn up, I don't always fully understand. I like to see it in motion. It's like poetry in motion, I always say, when our coach draws up a drill and we can just do it on the first try. I'm a drill wrecker here and there. I will say that um because I'm very visual. And I think being able to see things and be able to see how different leaders work on their craft. I'm very different from Hillary, and Hillary's very different from Kendall Coyne. And there's just like so many people in my life that I've learned from. And I think for me, like my leadership style is definitely I'm I'm vocal, but I'm also someone that's gonna go and grind and do what I need to do because I think it's important for people to see visually what you're expecting from them. And also feeling very respected. That's one of my number one things I always say is like I want people to think, feel like I respect them. I don't want it to be up in the air. I don't want it to be a maybe. I I don't want them to question if I respect them or question if they're doing the right things. I want them to know based on what I'm doing and that I'm doing the right thing and that they can look at me and say, yeah, if Taylor's doing it, I can do that.

SPEAKER_00 52:00

Well, hey, Taylor, I appreciate you coming on. This was, you know, awesome conversation. I have so much respect for you and what you've accomplished. If people want to reach out to you, if you have anything to promote, you know, please take the time to tell us where people can reach out to you and anything you're promoting, what you got going on.

SPEAKER_01 52:16

Yeah, I mean, I have a lot going on considering I'm getting married very soon. But um, my Instagram is TaylorHeid9. We'll probably change soon as I'm changing my last name. But I think, yeah, honestly, I'm I'm just on socials. And if you want to reach out, reach out on TikTok, reach out on Instagram. You can follow my life on on both platforms, and I'm very authentic to who I am. And I feel like it's very fun for me to share my life on social media. It's very scary as well, um, but I enjoy everything that comes along with it.

SPEAKER_00 52:43

Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Taylor. Listeners, thank you for tuning in. Tune in next week. Check us out, athleticfortitude.com, download the pod, subscribe to our YouTube channel. Five stars only baby. Appreciate you, Taylor.

SPEAKER_01 52:56

Thank you so much.