E34 | 5 Ways Leaders Fail to Support Their Teams #TeamWorkTuesday

This week on #TeamWorkTuesday, we are looking at five ways that leaders can fail to support their team.

There are common pitfalls that even the most well-intentioned leaders can fall into and we don't want you to be one of those leaders!

This is an essential listen for any leader or manager who is committed to personal growth and aspires to not just lead but to inspire and empower their team to achieve greatness.

Getting to Unstuck is a live recorded podcast with Christal Duncan, Colin Kingsmill, and Carol Vickers from Whole Human Coaching. Find out more about our courses and training opportunities at https://wholehumancoaching.com

Transcript

Carol Vickers: [00:00:00] Good morning. Good morning. 

Christal Duncan: Happy Tuesday. Same to you. Thank you. It's a great day to be here with you. It's a great day to be thinking about ways to get unstuck. And it is a great day for the conversation that we're going to be having today. So welcome to the show. We want to, before we get started, So we're going to be talking today about five ways that leaders fail to support their team.

But don't worry, we're not going to make you feel like a failure. We're just going to help you face the truth about what he's 

Colin Kingsmill: saying. Yeah, hopefully.

Christal Duncan: Our job is to make you feel like a failure. Our [00:01:00] job is to help you understand the opportunities. But in the meantime, before we get started, I wanted to let you know But if you have not yet signed up for a free workshop tomorrow, we have a free workshop every month at the, towards the end of the month.

And we have one coming up tomorrow, which is Wednesday, April 24th, and we're going to be talking about how to use coaching conversations in leadership and how they can help you as a leader. It's free to join. So you can find out more over whole human coaching. com. And secondly, this is a little bit of a soft launch announcement about a really exciting training that's starting with us and our team here at whole human coaching.

We're, it's launching on May 7th and it's called reclaiming leadership and it is a certificate program that you can take with us. We're going to have more information out about that later today and you'll be able to find all the information on our site. We're going to be talking about that. [00:02:00] As time, as we get closer to that, we want you, if you're just hearing this for the first time to think about what would it mean for you to reclaim your leadership?

What would it look like to be able to walk into a room, walk into a conversation, being confident in who you are as a leader and also confident in your tools to be able to connect with the people in that room. And in that conversation, it's a different way. It's a different. For a long time, leadership has been about been very top heavy, and it's been about having the power of conversation in the decision making and reclaiming.

Leadership is about you understanding where the real power lies in our leadership potential. I 

Colin Kingsmill: just wanted to add crystal to that, like, the reason that we're calling it reclaiming leadership is because we believe you are whole already believe that that we're simply shining light into areas you might not have seen before.

So that's the. Yeah, that, that you've got it already. [00:03:00] And we're just kind of going to help you amplify that and light that up. 

Carol Vickers: And it really goes to our commitment about whole human is that each leader is a whole human being. And so you bring all of that to the table and that's the advantage of training yourself in that way is you learn what tools are going to be most useful in what situation.

It's a really exciting program. 

Christal Duncan: It is very I'm, I'm excited because I wish that this was the kind of leadership program that I would have had available when I first started as a leader, I would have understood a lot of, a lot of things about myself and I would have had a lot of insights about how to connect with people in a meaningful way.

And so we'll, it's, it really is an invaluable tool. That leaders are going to be able to use over and over again. So it's a combination of in class training, as well as there are portions of it that you can do on your own time, because we understand that people have busy schedules. [00:04:00] So we're going to be talking a lot more about that in the days to come, but for now, We also want to talk again, dear friends, about five ways that leaders fail to support their teams.

So there are I mean, there may be others and, but we've kind of distilled it down to five main areas that people can, we, we encourage leaders to think about. We're going to talk about them in terms of the pain point of what it is, and then ways that we can alleviate that, how to interrupt. Those, those patterns in ourselves and questions that we can ask ourselves.

Okay. So let's talk about this from the perspective. First of all, before we get into those five things, I would love to hear from one of you about what is something that you think as a leader. you've experienced where from an, where you've experienced from another leader that you're like, wow, that was a really great, that [00:05:00] was a really great show of who they are capable of being as a leader.

Carol Vickers: Okay. Ooh. Well, there's two, two individuals that come to mind when I think about that. And they were leaders in an organization that were very different personalities. But both of them had a way of being in a room of others. And I think they showed their different styles in the way that they did it. But what occurred for both of them in my experience as, as someone who they, who, for whom they were my leader, well, that was an awkward statement.

included me. So one of them was really vocal and really enthusiastic and made sure that everyone in the room was included and just brought that level of engagement right to the table. And the other one would say something and then step right back and almost become invisible. Such a different [00:06:00] leadership style.

That's really 

Christal Duncan: different. 

Carol Vickers: Both of them allowed for voices to be heard around the table. 

Christal Duncan: Mm, I like that. 

Carol Vickers: Mm 

Colin Kingsmill: hmm. 

Christal Duncan: What about you, Colin? For 

Colin Kingsmill: me, it would, yeah, it was somebody who decided to trust. Decided to trust in my abilities and my judgment and my possibilities, I guess when when I wasn't a mature seasoned, you know professional by that time and And it was hard.

It was really hard because somebody puts a lot of trust in you You've got to you've got to have the ante you've got to do that, you know, you've got to pull yourself up so to speak we're full of acronyms and metaphors this morning, aren't we? But but the the But the wonderful thing about that, and I've seen that recently, even talking to people and working with people, is if you don't, you begin to sort of micromanage and the opposite of lack of trust is really, really corrosive to a team.

So I think that for me, for me, that was the biggest one where that [00:07:00] person just said, here's a task, go for it. Yeah, 

Christal Duncan: yeah. 

Colin Kingsmill: I 

Christal Duncan: think for me, I think for me, one of the, one of the key things when I think about someone in my life who was who exemplified some really great leadership was that they they took the time with me to make sure that I understood because we had very different communication styles and and I was something that they would say, I, it was very easy for me to hear something different.

And they really they really went, they, they really. Took the time in a very nonjudgmental way, acknowledging that we were different in our communication styles and making sure that we actually were, the filters were lifted off of our communication styles and that we were able to connect that way.

So this is an interesting. Springboard because the first thing that when we think about ways that leaders do fail to support their team, not intentionally, this is not like they're, they're, it's not like they're bad people or bad leaders, but we all have misses hits and [00:08:00] misses. And one of the ways that, that.

We see, and that we know to be true from feedback and from what even tons of surveys and information that's been out there for a long time. One of the ways that, that leaders fail is the lack of clear communication. 

Colin Kingsmill: So 

Christal Duncan: I'm wondering if we could get a picture of what, what do you think kind of the pain is around that and the problems that it can cause?

Carol Vickers: I can swing with this one. Colin, go ahead. 

Colin Kingsmill: I've got my little list, my list of what to do to think about. So go for it. Tell me what the 

Carol Vickers: key word there, Crystal, is clear because all leaders and everyone that I've ever met communicates, but most of them. unwittingly do it quite badly because they lack the clarity.

And there's some really simple things that can you can do about it. But if you haven't got that, then [00:09:00] everybody reads an email or listens to a message or has an interaction with you and walks away going, Oh gosh, I'm really not sure what I should be doing. Yeah. That, they didn't give me an answer that gives me any useful information at all.

And there's such a simple way to remedy it, is in how, is auditing your actual communication. Yeah. So there, if you're using in communicate, written communication, shorter sentences. With very clear language and not a lot of exclamation points or things like that. 

Christal Duncan: Yeah. 

Carol Vickers: And in your verbal communication, you're doing the same thing.

Imagine if you were speaking like a run on sentence without taking a breath. No one can understand what you're saying. Yeah. the clarity comes in short, concise bites 

Christal Duncan: that 

Carol Vickers: people can, can, can absorb. And if they have a question, they can ask it not delivered from on [00:10:00] high and kind of dictated to you. It is a two way two way effort.

People get a quest, get an opportunity to ask a question if they're not clear. 

Colin Kingsmill: Yep, I, I agree. And one, I would add a couple more too in my little list of research that I was doing. I've got understand your audience. I think that goes back to what, what Crystal was saying, right? Like understanding that there are differences between people.

So get to know your, your audience in empathy and active listening. That that is another is another take away. Consistency, transparency and honesty, emotional intelligence and storytelling. I think even in some of the work we've been doing recently, I think there's, I think We're in a lot of organizations.

It feels like we're missing play and joy and storytelling and a smile in that communication process. So bringing all of those elements into into, into the, [00:11:00] the workplace of of the 21st century. Hopefully 

Carol Vickers: we can talk a lot about that. Yeah, absolutely. 

Christal Duncan: Yes, and and remember one of at an event that we were facilitating.

I will never forget. We use it all the time. One of the people in that room said clear is kind, and that has been so valuable even for me to for context in any of my sessions. leadership to remember that clear is kind. And if we can remember that, then that helps to set the, set the path for better communication.

Okay. The second thing that we see that leaders can fail to support their team with is they, there's a failure in fostering a culture of trust. Now this is, this is a, this is a big multi layered scenario and situation that would take a lot of conversations. What are some of the ways that are just, that are maybe [00:12:00] subtly obvious about the pain points around this?

Carol Vickers: Right there. Go ahead, Colin. I haven't. No, I was 

Colin Kingsmill: just thinking of that situation I heard recently about, you know, even the simplest thing like a document, right? Or a project plan that gets shared across, you know, a sharing platform like Google Docs or teams or something that has to go back and forth 25 times because maybe somebody on a staff team wasn't didn't get it right.

And somebody else. you know, up, up the leadership team thought they needed to change a word here and there. So that kind of that kind of not trusting the troops almost feels, and, and it expresses itself in these sort of tedious, mind numbing, motivationally depleting Back and forth. Sorry. I just came to my mind, Carol.

I didn't mean to interrupt. 

Carol Vickers: Oh, yeah. You know, it's what it is, is, you know, all those cooking shows where they come down to the final minute and [00:13:00] then they tell everybody to take their hands off. That's what we need to tell leaders. It's like, okay, hands off. That's good. This is not the end of the world, whatever, whatever the result is, you can manage it afterwards, but you can't micromanage it now, because that leaves a message, which is really clear.

You don't trust me. 

Colin Kingsmill: Yeah. Yeah. And don't be like Gordon Ramsey for sure in that kitchen, in that kitchen cause I'm going to send a lot of people home. We don't, 

Carol Vickers: we don't want to do that. Anxious 

Colin Kingsmill: and depressed. 

Carol Vickers: There is, but there is something about being respectful of your, of your colleagues, of being respectful of those that work for you.

It's like, this, this looks like your best work. I don't even need to review it. Thank you. Let's move on. Because that's the pace that we are moving at. We've got to be able to move on. And that culture of trust begins to develop when our leader gives us [00:14:00] permission to move on. Okay, great. Move on. And then that's, that's where trust you, like that, that example you use Colin, of a leader who said, I think you've got this.

Go. Yeah. Yeah. 

Christal Duncan: Small words that can change things. Yeah. Okay. So the first thing dramatically 

Colin Kingsmill: for a very long time. Yeah. 

Christal Duncan: That's a fantastic point. Cause 

Colin Kingsmill: I think it does. I know something like that had a huge impact on my career because I became much more fearless in just, you know, Going for it, right? Going out on a limb.

And sometimes everything wasn't right. But, you know that stifling of creativity is so, so detrimental. 

Christal Duncan: Yeah. Okay. So the third thing that we identified was one of the failures is not providing adequate support and resources. So this is kind of almost the, like the yin to the yang that we just, we just [00:15:00] had talked about there a moment ago.

Yeah. 

Carol Vickers: Oh, and we see that too, we see it all the time, people feel like they have no, no, either no budget or no people or no ability to complete the task that's handed to them. And there's lots of different reasons for that. And sometimes they are budgetary constraints and sometimes they are resources.

Human resources that are not there. But what's missing in that, as much as anything, I think, is that it goes back to number one, which is communication. 

Colin Kingsmill: Exactly. 

Carol Vickers: Get this done. And I know we don't have enough people to get it done. And it's going to put a load on you. How can I help? 

Colin Kingsmill: I've got my little list again of my, my, my, you know, I do my geeky, geeky research behind the scenes.

So clear vision and communication always goes back to communication, doesn't it? It's just. That that should be leader. We should call it leadership communications actually because that is like always the number one but clear vision [00:16:00] resource allocation training and development. Support and encouragement, empowerment, and adaptability and flexibility.

Which feels like we don't see a lot of that these days. Yeah, flexibility. 

Carol Vickers: Yeah, that's a really important thing to be building with your team. It's like, we're going to have to do it, we're going to have to stretch here, but we're going to be able to rebound on it because we've learned that elasticity.

We've learned that capacity for resilience. 

Colin Kingsmill: Right. Exactly. Yeah. 

Christal Duncan: Okay. So the fourth thing and I think that this is it is tied to all the other ones because we are, we are whole humans. But the fourth way that we can we can fall short in our leadership and not support our teams is by neglecting appreciation and recognition.

And this is not necessarily about a plaque on a wall, although I know that that's kind of like the, the, the old, I don't know, eighties idea of, of [00:17:00] what appreciation is like, but how, what are some of the ways that we, that that can happen? Do you think? Without people realizing it. 

Carol Vickers: Things move too fast.

You know, we don't stop. We don't pause. We don't, 

Colin Kingsmill: I know teams, I know teams that we're working with and speak with have started to actually put it in their agendas, put it in their diaries every week, or maybe not every day, but they have this moment in time where they're They talk about how they're doing and how they're feeling and what's going on and, you know, those, and it's not sad, but it's, it's, it's kind of unfortunate.

Maybe it's just a sign of our times that you have to put it in the diary to acknowledge and recognize the fellow humans around the table. But yeah, that's, that's certainly, certainly. A way, a way of remediating this [00:18:00] kind of, you know, it's a 

Christal Duncan: simple fix, right? Like it's, it may feel, it may feel very pedantic or whatever to do it, but it's a simple fix.

Yes. To be able to get yourself in the habit, like to shift your own internal paradigm around because just because it doesn't feel like it's, that important to you as a leader does not mean that it's not important for the team. 

Carol Vickers: Oh, and if we realize again, at our human level, I'm speaking with a leader last week and he's a leader who has, who reports to someone else.

And he said to me, you know, in two and a half years of being here, I don't think I've ever had a word of praise or a positive reinforcement of my work. He said, I'm really resilient. I know how to do this. I'm, I'm not lacking in confidence, but we would, wow, what a difference it would make if I just heard from my leader at a boy, you know, and, and we, we think, Ooh, that's so that, you know, how, how weak and wimpy am I, if I need that, but we all need that.

[00:19:00] Yeah, we do. 

Colin Kingsmill: It's interesting you say that because, because I was speaking to somebody recently who is under an enormous amount of pressure. Lots of moving pieces, big, big team to, to, to, to manage and all that person needed. Hear from me was recognition that it's okay to feel the way you're feeling.

It's this is normal, you know, because nobody in the office that told that person that, you know, it's okay to feel under pressure. It's okay to feel a bit of like all of the sort of the pressures that that person was under and just kind Even an external party saying it's okay. 

Christal Duncan: Yeah, it's 

Colin Kingsmill: okay to feel this way now Let's work on how you can get past it.

But and and the person was just like it was like a light bulb went on It's like oh, I'm not by myself and I'm not alone and I'm not thinking crazy thoughts. Yeah, you know, I'm not I'm not wrong. I'm not [00:20:00] under, under whatever. I'm not different or whatever. Right. 

Carol Vickers: The final word I would put there for leaders though, is that it is authentic because there's nothing worse than somebody who you did such a good job today.

I want to give you this gold star. It's like, no, I want you to actually, when I have, when you can recognize me authentically, then I want to hear it. Yeah. Yeah. 

Colin Kingsmill: Yes. Yes. 

Carol Vickers: Yeah. 

Colin Kingsmill: Well, I think authenticity kind of goes through all of these five, five points, right? You gotta be real. Yes. Yeah. 

Christal Duncan: Yeah. 

Colin Kingsmill: Yeah. 

Christal Duncan: Yeah. So yeah, let's bring it home.

Number five is is an interesting piece because it is something that's, well, because it's another thing that often does get maybe pushed to the back burner. Because it's not deemed as critical or because we're in the tyranny of the urgent, but it is about the failure when we overlook professional [00:21:00] development opportunities.

And when we say that, we really do mean for ourselves and for our teams. It's kind of a twofold statement there. Can we talk a little bit about that? 

Carol Vickers: Sure. I think I would love to see a measure for leaders is that the people that work for them get promoted and and leave their teams, and that that's how they're known as to to be a good leader.

Their people leave for the right reasons. 

Christal Duncan: Yeah. 

Carol Vickers: Is they are in as a leader, they are promoting them. Internally and giving them that support and confidence to be able to go that role. You know, it's a stretch for you, but you should go for it. Yeah, so they would be an interesting way to measure leadership.

Colin Kingsmill: That's true. I put the little ticker under under our thing to remind people about our mission, right of reclaiming humanity in the workplace. And that's [00:22:00] an important thing to remember. 

Christal Duncan: Yeah, and I think professional development opportunities now. Yeah. I know that we are also biased because we run professional development opportunities with our, with our coaching and our training programs above and beyond that.

Or in addition to those kinds of opportunities, sometimes it is as simple as Podcasts like this encouraging, I don't know. I've, I've had book clubs going in my workplace before that I did with my teams, you know, around how can we develop around certain certain characteristics that we were wanting to work on together?

Like there's, there's a lot of opportunities, but the point is is that it is development. It's a practice. It's a continual growth, right? Because that's, that's the sign at the core. That is the sign that you are. A leader that you're a whole human leader is that you are, you have a growth mindset. You're willing to continue to, to continue to grow.

[00:23:00] And and you're not scared to realize that maybe I'm missing something. Maybe there's more that I need to consider here. That's, that's a sign of a good leader. . 

Carol Vickers: Yeah. Being flexible. Yeah, being flexible. Being willing to look inside. 

Christal Duncan: Yeah. Yeah. 

Carol Vickers: Yeah. 

Christal Duncan: Well, guys, this was a great conversation. Thank you. Thank you very much.

And, and thank you to those of you who are who are here, who've been listening live. And if you are listening right now, wherever you are to the recording, I wanna thank you for tuning in. Don't forget that we have a free workshop coming up on Wednesday the 24th of April. You can sign up for that at whole human coaching.

com and stay tuned because we are about to start letting people know about how they can be a part of reclaiming leadership. The course that's coming up in May. Have a great day ahead and thanks for listening. Bye everybody. 

Colin Kingsmill: Take care.