Mastering Emotional Intelligence for Sales Success

In this episode we discuss the psychology behind building mutually beneficial relationships with our special guest, Kalie Gottler, who is a manager of distribution sales with Samsung. Her blend of a deep understanding of people, combined with her sales savvy allowed us to dive into a variety of interesting topics from a more human perspective. Through our conversation, Kalie demystifies the nuances of fostering trust, the art of active listening, and the delicate practice of giving feedback that resonates. Whether you're maneuvering through a career transition or aiming to enhance your client rapport, this episode is your guide to mastering the emotional dynamics that drive successful sales interactions.

Transcript

Building Trust and Networking in Sales

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome everyone to the Sales Gym podcast . We focus on topics like sales , training and human behavior . Our guest for the podcast today is Kaylee Gottler . Kaylee has worked on both the manufacturing and distribution side of the technology industry and she's currently a manager of distribution sales at Samsung . Now , Kaylee has a somewhat unique background for someone in sales , since she majored in psychology in college , and that understanding of the human psyche has been exceptionally useful for her whenever it comes to getting to know people , getting the most from herself and her team and building and maintaining relationships . So I'm really excited to get in those topics today and , with that in mind , Kaylee , welcome to the podcast . We're really happy to have .

Speaker 2 0:39

Thanks so much for the intro , dean .

Speaker 1 0:40

I'm so thrilled to be here Awesome well , let's go ahead and start by maybe you telling us a little bit about your current role , what that looks like , and then how it's similar or different to your previous roles . I think it'd be really helpful for people to have a little understanding about what your world looks like and what the waters you're navigating are , so they can get some context for our conversation .

Speaker 2 1:00

Yes , so my current role is all about managing sales in the channel for one of the largest distribution partners for Samsung , and I focus on a couple of key categories in doing that . And then I would say the way that it's different from what I had done in the past is previously the last six years at the organization I was at before . I was in leadership , managing a number of different teams and technologies , and I would say this is back to being an individual contributor role . But there's a lot of crossover in my ability to work with my team at the distributor that I cover and I get to influence sales more than I did historically , and in addition to that , I've been lucky enough to be able to work with a lot of the same teams that I managed in my previous roles . So there's been huge crossover in this role in my old one .

Speaker 1 1:54

Okay , and so you got a chance to kind of work on both sides of it then the manufacturing side and the distribution side . How has having an understanding of both sides of that business really impacted your ability to be effective in your job ? I'm just kind of curious what that's been looking like for you .

Speaker 2 2:08

I would say that there's a lot of unknown .

Speaker 2 2:11

The channel itself is massive and each organization , whether it's a distributor or a manufacturer , has very different policies and rules and goals .

Speaker 2 2:21

So being able to understand my client that I currently manage because of all of my 10-year years having worked there has been a tremendous help . I know the way to navigate the resources there . I understand some of the red teeth that we might run into in certain circumstances and how to try to build some efficiencies and processes to make the day-to-day better , not just for myself but for my peers , and I truly believe that it makes the play feel a little bit easier for me than maybe someone who doesn't have the experience on both sides . Then I would also say that , walking into this role , I was lucky enough to cover this manufacturer when I was in the channel as well , so that made the transition much easier for me . I understood some of the language that we all have in the IT industry Acronyms are our favorite things so I was able to step in and understand some of the calls that were put in place and the terminology that's used , and I would say that that transition was a little more seamless just because of that experience .

Speaker 1 3:31

Well , that makes a lot of sense . So just getting a better knowledge of the technical side of things and just kind of how the businesses work is really important . But I would imagine that building up your network and knowing people on both sides of the equation has been important as well . So , whenever it comes to maybe building up that network , what are some things that have stood out , as far as maybe some of the social skills you've had or some of the social skills you've become aware of that are important , that you started to develop , what are some of those things that have been really important for you for building up relationships , both internally with your own teams and externally with other partners you work with ?

Speaker 2 4:02

I would say listening is huge Listening , empathizing , understanding , be patient . It's interesting because when you think about sales and a lot of us in this industry , that's what we're in and where I'd love being and success . Networking is not only critical for career growth but also my ability to be successful at my job . And it's been crazy and I would say I lean back on my psychology degree because I would say I can come into a room and understand an audience and flex . I don't wanna see it . Some people might think that maybe that's disingenuous , but it's not . There are certain people who like to talk about different things and they build relationships on different things . So it's been interesting to just watch that evolve and networking and my old role was so critical , not only because it helps my career and having people and advocates that were in rooms that I wasn't , but it also helped me round out myself and look at other businesses that might have done something differently because of a relationship I built . Or it could go to different managers or leaders or even associates in different organizations to ask about a challenge or an uphill battle that BBI was facing or my team was facing and they might have a different perspective on it . That I didn't even think about . So I would say that that's been crazy . To just look at why it's such a huge benefit , because in doing so not only are you getting what you need , but it also does help the person that you're asking feels valued and that they get to share their knowledge with you too .

Speaker 2 5:45

So it really is a give and take , and in my new role what's been great is I kinda joke that changing organizations makes me feel like I have a phantom limb , because the tools are different . No matter where you go , they're gonna change , but I'm still able to lean on some of the network I've built to help so that I have a better view of the picture or what it is I wanna see or achieve for my product subset . And the other thing with that is going back to the social skills . Just in professional success and networks , it is so key to be able to build a relationship to make a sale , and not just so that you get the sale but to keep recurring deals coming your way . You build trust in a foundation with a partner and they wanna bring their business through you . And if you've built trust in foundation in your peers or the different organizations you work with . They wanna continue partnering with you because they know you can get the job done , because you've done it in the past and you're showing up the same way every time .

Speaker 1 6:49

Let's go ahead and kind of talk about that building trust , right . I think building trust really starts with getting to know people as they actually are , not kind of putting our own expectations of who people should be , but , to your point earlier , reading the room , getting to know what personality types are in here , what's going to be important to them , and then talking to that and then showing up and delivering whenever they ask of it . So , whenever it comes to maybe some of the psychology training you've had , what are some maybe some core concepts that you've kept top of mind , whenever it comes to meeting new people , getting to know them , building up trust in those relationships , I think that'd be a useful topic for us to guide into .

Speaker 2 7:25

I would say one of the biggest ones that I think has led to probably the deepest relationships is no matter what room or audience I'm walking into I am not the smartest person there A lot of people want to showcase their knowledge and their skills and that's amazing and there is a time and a way to do it .

Speaker 2 7:41

But again , that goes back to listening , because I can't appropriately showcase the skill set and the knowledge that maybe one of my partners is looking for unless I know what they need , which is why it's important to really understand in , you know , whether it's creating an agenda or just opening up and allowing them to talk through challenges or wants , or what they're hoping to achieve or their strategies , whether it's for the year or the quarter .

Speaker 2 8:08

I think just hearing that and then working on how I and White present you know whether it's myself or my technology or the teams I work with as a way to fill those gaps or fill those needs or build out that solution , that's a big one . But touching on why that was like a huge piece for me from psychology is you know , I went to school to be a counselor and it's a very , very similar dynamic . You can sit and help someone unless you know what it is they need help with . And it's the same in any professional role that you're going to step into and you know I function in the IT industry but the same is true there . I can't you know . That would be like offering someone a microwave who needs to put up a screen somewhere . That doesn't help them , if that's what I'm trying to sell them , and it's not , their needs are . So I would say that if that's like a huge piece is just listening and understanding first and then trying to work through the best way to take care of my partners .

Speaker 1 9:10

If you're having these conversations with partners , are you always using the kind of the same style , the same communication approach ? Is there like a particular way you go about it ? Our do is it adapt to the type of person you're working with , the role they're in the circumstances that you're meeting them in ? What are your thoughts on kind of being the same person every time you step in the room , versus being a little bit more of a chameleon and try to actually meet and match the person you're meeting with ?

Speaker 2 9:35

I would say it's probably a one , but mostly adapt . Again , each person is different and that came a lot of learning that came from my leadership years and the teams that I managed is that everyone likes to be managed a different way and everyone is like , driven and motivated differently too , so I had to adapt to what their needs were . I think they call that like serve and leadership , but it wasn't just showing , it was making sure that how I presented whatever the next step was for their career or their goals or what they wanted to achieve matched their personality and how they were going to be successful doing it . And I would say that's the same . Working with any of the partners or even the distributor that I manage is anyone that I'm working with . There is going to operate a little bit differently and maybe the way that they function is the same way that I would go about doing something .

Speaker 2 10:24

So in circumstances huge , a lot of us traveled to a lot of industry events , so we do partner visits on site and one partner may not want to have small talk or get a little small talk or get into things like their families and they want to really understand . And then what comes , maybe after you get through what you do need to professionally , that opportunity or doors open because they're impressed by , like , how you presented to them or what solution you provided . But there's others who want that small talk in the beginning , or they want to understand and get to know you before you try to essentially sell them on your brand or your product or whatever that is . So if you're at a trade show and you have 20 minutes , you're going to have to get through that pretty quickly or find maybe some really key points and some takeaways , because someone's going to be talking to 30 other people that day . So how are you going to leave them with something that resonates with them or want them to come back and speak to you later ?

Speaker 1 11:16

It feels like you touched on a couple different ideas there . One is the idea of this emotional intelligence we need , and the other is this idea of this more practical business sense that we need to keep in mind as well . So can you talk about , maybe , the importance of that emotional intelligence whenever it comes to building relationships and being able to network on the like ? What have you seen as far as , maybe , people who are excellent at it and what they're doing versus people who maybe struggle at that and the results they're getting ? I'm kind of curious what your thoughts are on that topic .

Speaker 2 11:42

I would say it's an interesting dynamic and you're going to run into both or all all varieties .

Building Trust and Effective Feedback

Speaker 2 11:49

Generally , I do believe that people with that hierarchy have the ability to be more patient and be more open minded a lot of the time , and receptive to taking things in , and I would say , most of the time .

Speaker 2 12:04

If you're talking to someone like that , it becomes more comfortable , regardless of , maybe , where you are on that scale .

Speaker 2 12:11

So if I'm talking to someone who has only one agenda that they want to get through and they're not listening and they need to have to say , that kind of strikes me as maybe having that lower emotional intelligence and maybe not reading the whatever that responses that I'm putting out there and that probably isn't going to drive me to want to make like a sale with them or take whatever it is they're offering , versus if I'm talking to someone and they're sitting and they're listening , they're understanding and even if it's something , I've also learned that it's something that they can't offer but they provide a different solution or put me in the right direction because they're recognizing that maybe what it is they have is not the best fit . Those are the people you tend to start to trust because , at the end of the day , we all want you know whether it's they should want me to be taken care of as their client , but vice versa , if I'm with a client , I want to make sure that their needs are met and if what I'm coming in is not the right , it's not meeting those requirements , that I want to make sure that I'm honest and transparent about that and help them get what it is that they need . So I would say that that's a huge piece and it does help again in your ability to read your partners , your associates or your teammates or peers and leadership a lot of the time .

Speaker 2 13:25

No-transcript .

Speaker 1 13:27

So , whenever it comes to establishing these relationships with people , a big part of this is being able to have that give and take , where maybe you provide some feedback , unless somebody know where they're not understanding something that's going on . Or maybe , if you have somebody in your team , you're letting them know what you need from them . Maybe they're not hitting the marks that you like for them , or you maybe have a pathway that you'd like to see them go down , and oftentimes the feedback process can be a little abrasive . You might have to say some things that people don't want to hear , whether it's a partner you're working with or somebody who's working for you . So whenever it comes to that , are there some models or some ideas that you bring to the table that you try to keep in mind , as you're speaking with somebody and you're maybe either getting feedback that you think is a little abrasive and you're trying to handle it well , or you're giving feedback that you know could be taken the wrong way and you want to ensure that it's being more helpful than hurtful .

Speaker 2 14:17

As far as I'll start with giving feedback , because I think that that's generally easy , but I'm not sure just because of my years of experience of it , I would say that that goes back to that foundation of trust . If the person that I'm speaking to , my goal was always to make sure that anyone I worked with or worked on my team knew that my intention was always to make them their best version of themselves or the most successful they can be . So that was always an underlying foundation I tried to build , and I tried to build it now too with everyone I worked with , and I do think it's really important . But it becomes critical when you're giving feedback , because then whoever it is that I'm speaking to knows that I don't have a separate agenda or that I'm not doing anything to hurt them , or I wouldn't say it unless I either absolutely needed to or it was going to better them . So that goes back to that trust and foundation and I generally would say I've never I had never had in my times any type of negative reactions to that , because I made it very , very clear , I think in one of our previous conversations , of one of the techniques and I've seen it in different places . They call it . It's like a cushion sandwich where , like , you start with something that needs someone really , really great , and you're not doing it disingenuously , it is something they're tremendous at and then you added maybe an area of growth or opportunity , followed up by another strength that they have , so that no one is walking in and feeling like they were just put down 100% . Everything they do is not great . If there are all these great traits about you , I did notice maybe , this one room . You know there was room for growth here , or change or opportunity , or to handle something differently , and usually that's been pretty well received Because , again , it's showcasing that not only am I maybe recognizing a gap somewhere , but I am recognizing what someone's doing exceptionally well , so they feel more comfortable in receiving some of that . You know that opportunity to grow .

Speaker 2 16:25

And then I guess , as far as receiving feedback , I always try to just understand . I would just say I would try to understand where someone's coming from . Sometimes feedback comes from you know higher or a different place than the person giving it to you , and if it's unclear , I ask questions . Or if the goal is not laid out for what it is we're trying to achieve , I generally try to ask you about that as well . But I also keep in mind that I would hope that someone giving feedback to me was not doing it nightly in a negative manner , but also they're trying to help me grow . Maybe there was something that I , you know , sometimes we tend to be a little biased towards ourself . I mean , a lot of people think they do a lot of things really , really well and we might miss it If we don't know any better or any different , or no one has maybe told us there was a different way or better way to do it . We wouldn't know any better . So keeping that in mind , I think , is a good rule of thumb as well .

Speaker 1 17:24

I guess I'm kind of curious as well whenever it comes to giving feedback . Is there a different way that you go about giving people constructive feedback if there's somebody who is maybe on your team that you're in charge of , versus if you're pushing it up the chain and you maybe hear an idea or a strategy that they're discussing where you're like that's . I don't know if that's going to work . Is there a different way that you approach , maybe , giving feedback to both of those ? Obviously , the power dynamics are different , but is your approach different in those things ? I'm just kind of curious what your thoughts are on that .

Speaker 2 17:52

I would say that they are . For me they were .

Building Strong Relationships and Maintaining Networks

Speaker 2 17:57

I always looked as the associates that I worked with . In order for me to be successful , I needed them to be successful , so I always wanted to make sure that I was building bonds and not breaking anyone down at any point and creating a really , really strong infrastructure of human beings , whereas managing up almost seemed a little bit easier for me and that is my perception . But again , I made it very clear to the leaders that I had opportunity to work with and for me to be successful I was always more , that I was never pushing back just to be a pain or for any reason other than not need the understanding , and sometimes it was just about asking for more time or to cover some topic again so I could truly understand it . But I actually always felt more comfortable doing that . But that was a trust thing as well .

Speaker 2 18:57

I would say that I was lucky enough to work with leaders that I trusted very much and I was welcomed , and I'm working on rebuilding that again now in a new role . So I went from an organization where I had that in a lot of tenure to starting over and I'm working through that now and trying to understand navigating new people , new faces , new goals . So that's been a little bit different , but I've been very open about if I'm pushing too hard on something , please let me know , or if maybe I . If you don't want this type of feedback , just let me know . I tend to be very transparent or honest to a fault , but I think that that's . I think managing up has always been an easier skill set for me , because I also always say when you're in a position of in leadership , I laugh , it's a Spider-Man . But with great power comes great responsibility , and I hope that any leader I'm working with would want to hear the feedback of their peers or the people working under them , and that's what I think built some of the strongest teams .

Speaker 1 20:03

You used the phrase that I thought was like you could go on a book , right , and that is creating a strong infrastructure of human beings , right , establishing this great network and people who actually want to connect with you and stay connected with you long term . What lessons have you learned about the importance of building human relationships within these companies ? Obviously , we have our professional relationships , but I think the best networking is done whenever you actually get to know people as humans and people feel as if they're speaking to fellow humans , not just a co-worker who's there because they're being paid . What are your thoughts on that and maybe the importance of developing human-human connections with people that you work with ?

Speaker 2 20:39

I think that's probably the most important part of those relationships is the human being underneath the output or the productivity or the efficiencies , because the one big thing that is not talked about enough is psychological safety in the workplace , and workplaces that have the highest output and the highest achievement and productivity have associates who feel psychologically safe , even in particular instances where there might be a recession or numbers are where they need to be . If you're working for or with someone you know that's going to bat for you , you're going to give it all that you have . Sometimes we forget and this is just business . It happens a lot . We get really wrapped up in the business , but I know I've worked with people who have had parents who are sick , who have had children who are sick , who have had to go through some really tough things . If I didn't know that , it would be hard for me to make sure that I'm recognizing that human being needs versus the business needs . Business always has to come first to a point , but in order to keep people that want to be tenured and stay with you and keep that strong infrastructure for a long time , you have to be able to be flexible with who these humans are and what some of their needs are and their priorities too .

Speaker 2 22:13

I just had the opportunity to be on a call with someone who had a very , very high rank and he had said I had come in late last week twice because I had recitals for my children and that needed to take priority . And we're here now . We're going to work to the business , son , and we're going to put in this extra time . But again it did help for me . That showcased who this person was and where their priorities laid and I knew that if I needed something I could always reach out to them .

Speaker 2 22:42

But I also recognized that there may be times where they have to disconnect because they have kids . I'm a mom of two . I tend to get lost a lot in the business and I've started working really , really hard to give my family some time back . But if someone didn't know that I had kids , they would let me continue getting lost in the business because they wouldn't have any idea . But when they know that , a lot of times I can work with them to make sure that I'm drawing boundaries and that's clear . So I would say the human being aspect is probably the most important part to those relationships .

Speaker 1 23:19

I think another subject that'd be really interesting is we do start to form a lot of great relationships , but we all , ideally , are moving on to different roles as we progress through our careers , and then oftentimes we go to different companies as well . So whenever it comes to building your relationships , I think we've touched on a good amount there . What are some ideas for maybe maintaining relationships and having strong networks going forward ? Because it often feels that we may be more connected in some ways now in the modern age , but it also does feel kind of isolated and people just tend to drift away . So what are some thoughts or ideas you have for maybe maintaining strong relationships and strong networks ? That way you have great people that you can go to just for conversations and advice , or you can even ask for favors occasionally . What are some thoughts you have on that ?

Speaker 2 24:04

I would say it's an effort . You have to put the effort and I am experiencing it right now , changing from a role I'd been in an organization I'd been in since college . I do . Do I need all of them right now ? No , but do I think it's important Because , again , a lot of these people that I had built my network with over the years I liked the human beings and that's why it became so important for me to want to keep in contact with them , and a lot of them are all over the country .

Speaker 2 24:37

So I mean the holidays I would say it's an easy time because it's a reminder to check in with people to wish them a happy holidays , whatever it is they celebrate , see how the year went . But I just I make notes quarterly to just touch base with someone , whether it's shooting them a text , scheduling a video call or just giving them a call . And for anyone locally , I try to do dinner or lunch or coffee , even with people who have retired from the industry . I'm in and I mean I was lucky enough to go to dinner the other night with a one of our retired you know in-grams , retired VPs just to see how things were going and you know , talk through maybe what I'm experiencing , because those people also had done this for a very , very long time and have a wealth of knowledge and ideas and feedbacks or experiences that maybe I hadn't like been through yet .

Speaker 2 25:30

So but it does . It does take effort and you have to be willing to do it . And again , it's a give and take . It's a lot easier to call and ask for a favor , to ask for help , if it's someone I've kept in touch with and I've created a longstanding relationship with . But if it's someone I haven't spoken to in six months to a year and I'm reaching out to ask them for help , it can feel a little inauthentic at times . So I wouldn't say it's easy to do , especially if you build like a very vast network . But it is important and it will help you because , again , you could change roles at any point . You could change what you're covering you know territories , categories of product , customer subsets and someday that one relationship that you last slide might have actually been really valuable .

Speaker 1 26:20

With that in mind , I guess something I'm really curious about is you know , obviously a big reason why we want to build relationships is because having a strong network is very useful in a business sense . Not only do we like the people we actually communicate with as human beings , but oftentimes we can help each other out and we can actually progress each other's careers in some ways . How do we balance that , though I know I personally feel a little guilty whenever I reach out to somebody , I'm like hey , I need this from you . Like I don't like how that feels . I don't want to create this feeling of obligation on their end . I wanted to feel like we have a strong relationship and that they'd want to be able to do things for me . So how do you strike that balance of being able to utilize your network to actually get things done and improve your career , while also keeping in mind they're human beings who don't want to feel used ? What does that look like and how do we strike that balance ?

Building and Maintaining Relationships

Speaker 2 27:07

I think that goes back to putting the effort in to maintain our relationship , because it's very again , it's very easy to ask for those things if you're talking to them regularly , because what you also find is that most of the time they're going to ask you for something at one point and I've made a lot of changes recently and I've had a lot of my network reach out because they had a question or they needed help with something or they wanted a different opinion and I never mind giving it because I know that if I needed to call one of those people that they would probably do the same for me . So , being open minded about that , the other thing is is , I think , where you run that risk of losing a network or the relationships is when you're changing a role or changing organization and then you're not touching all the same people that you were previously , because the needs are different or the products are different or the resources are just different . Those are the moments where you find you might actually be able to leverage a previous resource to get a new idea or to get a different viewpoint or just to get some additional feedback Someone who's outside of the scope of what you're currently doing . And in addition to that is because you're doing something different than maybe that resource you previously tapped in the past . You might become a value to them because you're learning something new , or you're working with a different group of people , or you've had experience learning from a different leader or peer that maybe before you didn't , so it's always a given take .

Speaker 2 28:45

The other thing is , I think that people forget how valuable some of that knowledge is , or once you move on to do something different , you don't necessarily feel in need to give back to what that was or to provide some of those insights . Doesn't cross your mind . During , you know , my years in this industry , I went through something in a career change previous to right now , and at the time I was weighing going to a different part of an organization and and I didn't feel like it would benefit me . But the person I was talking to reminded me that all the things I've learned over the years in different parts of this organization could benefit that business in a really valuable way . So I think again going back to why it's important to maybe keeping the relationships that don't always necessarily influence what your current state is is going to be really helpful long term because if you continue sharing ideas and thoughts with people who don't necessarily play a part in today , you still could be helping someone else tremendously without even realizing it .

Speaker 1 30:00

This has been a great conversation , kaylee . I could go in a million other directions with this , but I guess the last thing we'll do here is just kind of give you the floor . Throughout the course of interviews , what I've realized is I often don't ask the best questions , I often don't elicit the best stories from people , and people are just like why didn't you bring this up ? I needed to get this thought out there . So whenever it comes to this interview the kind of the things we've talked about today what's one thing that you want to make sure that you get across to everybody and they can kind of hear your final thoughts as we close out here today ?

Speaker 2 30:28

You're never better alone . You're always better with a network . You're stronger being surrounded by people that you trust , and one of the favorite things I used to always say was that a team is like a puzzle If you brought all the same pieces in , you wouldn't be able to complete the puzzle . But that's where it becomes so key to have a different variety of skill sets and personalities and strengths , and because that's what helps build out again like a really strong foundation , because where one person may be lacking , another peer could maybe make that up . And just remember , you never know what someone else is going through at any point . So in the business world we do . We have to make sure we're taking care of business and getting things done . But if someone is maybe not producing as much or as well as you've seen them do in the past or what you're hoping for , try to understand that before it upsets you . There could be a reason or just a conversation that can help navigate that in a better direction and get them back on track .

Speaker 1 31:37

All right , kaylee . Well , thank you for those last thoughts . It's been a fantastic interview . We've discussed the importance of building out our networks , and by doing that we are communicating with people and meeting them where they are . We also talked about how we maintain those relationships and some of the difficulties that come with that , and we actually talked about how to utilize our networks well without making people feel used and ensuring it's a two-way street there . This has been fantastic and I hope all our listeners out there were able to pull away something valuable that they can apply in their day-to-day life here . Moving forward Now , if you're listening in on this podcast and you're thinking I should be on here , I've got something

Inspiring Leaders Wanted for Podcast

Speaker 1 32:09

to share .

Speaker 1 32:09

Are you know somebody who is an inspiring leader or somebody you've worked with who you thought this person ? Their message needs to get out there . Please reach out to us . We'd love to hear from you . We'd love to feature you on our podcast and share with our listeners some of the knowledge you've gained over the years . So until next time , everybody , stay safe , have fun , good luck out there and we'll catch you on the next episode .