Behind the Bluff
Behind the Bluff is where wellness meets community. Through conversations with experts, leaders, and members, we explore health, longevity, leadership, and the intentional choices that help us live with purpose. Every episode closes with Healthy Momentum—practical inspiration to help you live with greater intention.
Behind the Bluff
Design Today. Don't Assume Tomorrow. | Dr. Michael Brown
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Tomorrow feels guaranteed right up until it isn’t, and that quiet assumption shapes everything from our health habits to our closest relationships. Jeff Ford sits down with Dr. Michael Brown, executive coach and host of the Three Words Podcast, for a grounded conversation about living a purpose-driven life without letting your achievements become your identity.
We talk about what happens after the big win, why success can be just as dangerous as failure, and how high performers can keep achieving while still keeping achievement in its proper place. Dr. Brown shares a powerful way to clarify core values through a “funeral journal” or 90th birthday journal, then connects it to the seasons of life: investigation, focus, and legacy. If you’re navigating retirement, a career change, empty nesting, or a major transition, this will help you choose purpose instead of waiting for purpose to “show up.”
We also get practical about mindset and behavior change. We break down common thinking traps like fear, comparison, entitlement, cynicism, and scarcity, then zoom in on the real driver: beliefs fuel behaviors. You’ll hear simple frameworks designed for action, not overthinking, plus three daily practices that can change how you live right now: design your day, be fully present, and focus on becoming.
If this conversation challenges you, share it with a friend who’s stuck in “later,” subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, and leave a review to help more people find the show. What’s one decision you’ve been postponing that you’ll make today?
Welcome To Behind The Bluff
SPEAKER_00Are you ready to live an active lifestyle? Welcome to Behind the Bluff, where we believe every moment of your life is an opportunity to pursue wellness on your terms. I'm your host, Jeff Ford, and today's guest is Dr. Michael Brown, host of the Three Words Podcast, author of many books, leadership advisor, executive coach, and someone who has spent decades helping people think better and most importantly, live better. Michael has worked with business leaders, physicians, professional athletes, and organizations all around the world, helping them navigate leadership, relationships, performance, performance, and life's biggest transitions, which we all know we have. And in today's unique conversation, we had the privilege of hosting Michael at the Conservancy Classroom. So we decided to get him in immediately. Members who attended the conversation on living a purpose-driven life in each of their seasons were just raving about the opportunity to connect with Michael. So without further ado, Michael, welcome to the show.
SPEAKER_03I am so excited. I feel flattered to have quite an introduction of my good friend Jeff Ford. So it's been with great honor that I've been with you the last couple of days and meeting members, directors, managers, wellness team, and just being a part of the Palmetto Bluff community for even uh two days. So thanks for the invitation.
SPEAKER_00We appreciate you taking the time. And you're a celebrity, man. Even if you have a mask on right now that you don't think you're a celebrity, we're we're so grateful to have you connect with everyone. Michael, let's start at the beginning. For those who may be meeting you for the first time during this conversation, tell us a little bit about your journey and what led you to the work that you're doing
A Childhood That Fueled Connection
SPEAKER_00today.
SPEAKER_03Well, I think the earliest part of my journey began when uh I had kind of a challenging, quite honestly, troubled childhood that was peppered with divorce, and then the early death of my mother, remarriages, um really living in, I wouldn't say poverty, but I was in well, close to poverty, in the sense that I just my self-image, uh, the experiences, the privilege, all the things that would kind of be ideal for a early childhood uh were not there. So I think in many ways, as I reflect upon the most challenging times of my life, that became the fuel for living for what matters the most, which is human connection. I think losing my mom when I was 14 and she was 36 reminded me of the brevity of life. And I committed, I think, even at that point, before even knowing that there is the thing called the coaching and mentoring and counseling and the value of human connection. I was like, I'm gonna do that which lasts the longest and that which matters the most. And I think that's where that seed was planted in my heart to do this kind of work.
SPEAKER_00It sounds like the loss pushed you into deeper connections with people, the importance of it, and making this a lifelong mission to not waste time here on earth on the wrong things. Right.
SPEAKER_03So even one of the books I wrote was Choose What Matters. And what happens sometimes is that people do not proactively choose what matters, and they end up waiting for what matters the most to choose them, which typically is crisis. So I would like to encourage our listeners to actually not wait for the next crisis to happen before making choices to become and evolve into the better version themselves, living out their purpose and their calling and their core values. And these aren't just things to be hanging on a wall, but to be embodied in the life of every human.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, Michael, this concept of there's always another storm and knowing that challenges are going to come, knowing that our world's gonna be rocked from time to time with things that we don't see coming, not failing to be focused on who we want to become to take words out of how you share this whole concept of becoming. Could you tell us a little bit more about that?
Becoming Over Doing And Titles
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So even one of my podcasts, uh, it's funny, you have a podcast behind the bluff. I have a podcast, Three Words Podcast. I love being in a podcast studio. It's fun being on this side of the microphone and actually being a guest as opposed to the host. But one of my favorite episodes in the Three Words Podcast library was focus on becoming. Ironically, I got to be involved in that conversation with my oldest son, Dr. Justin Michael Brown. And the two of us explored this idea of the fact that we are not predominantly human doings, but human beings. And that when you ask someone, who do you want to be at the end of your life? Oftentimes they answer the question with a career or a job or a vocation, and that's a great idea, but not a correct answer to the question. That was an answer to the question, What are you going to do versus who are you going to be? And I'd rather folks think about first who am I going to be, become, virtue, qualities of my life, and from there comes the career and the opportunities and the flashy word for this day and age, the brand.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, our our identities can't get wrapped up in the roles that we have, and career is just one of those roles.
SPEAKER_03Well, and again, roles are great, careers are great, um, opportunities are great, wealth is great, building businesses and crushing it in your career is great. But when you begin to connect any of those achievements, accomplishments, titles, positions, power, prosperity, or possessions to my identity, you are guaranteed to have a more than challenging life. And so my primary work with a lot of the folks that I spend time with, regardless of the different industries you mentioned, is to help people detangle their identity, who they are becoming, their purpose in life from their achievements, accomplishments, and what others think about them.
SPEAKER_00How hard is it for that person out there who has been so achievement focused to make that shift?
SPEAKER_03I would say continue to be achievement focused, but put it in its proper place. Uh, keep crushing it, keep achieving, keep accomplishing. I love, I love continuing. You and I've chatted off camera, uh, out of the podcast studio, this idea of achieving overdrive, standards, productivity. I love that about you, Jeff Ford. And I want you to keep doing that while actually keeping it in its proper place. It is not what is most important. So do not elevate achievement to an improper place. Keep it in its proper place, which is an extension outside of you as opposed to you, yourself, me.
Why Big Wins Can Feel Empty
SPEAKER_00Michael, this triggers for me the buildup of an endurance race. So, as many listeners know, I've completed three Iron Man triathlons, and you finish that big race that you've been training for for sometimes an entire year, and then there's this low after the achievement. And they even talk about this endurance training where you're more likely to get a cold or to get sick after a big achievement. In your experience, coaching athletes, CEOs, what has it been like for you to be with that person when they hit a low like that? And why do we why does that happen to us?
SPEAKER_03Well, it's not only physically and physical endurance activities, and then you have a cold or you get sick, but also we see this with great successes in the executive corporate world, and that sometimes we get to a place where we're so successful we feel invincible and we actually begin to make bad choices, and we actually begin to trash our reputation and our career, and we begin to cut corners and the things that matter most, and then it's the slow slide into becoming the worst version of ourselves. So sometimes success is dangerous, both for athletes as well as for executives, and and quite honestly, even for parents and for marriages in these high moments. Um we tend to go, oh, I did this great thing or I accomplished this great feat, and so now I can take my foot off the pedal. The challenge is coasting is always backwards. And so the minute I begin to coast, I probably am not going to be the best version of myself. Um, I want us to rest. I want us to recoup, I want us to refresh without actually, I don't want to say slowing down, but not being the best version of myself and saying, well, I'm just gonna kind of now collapse. So I do think, don't they say this is true even of uh scuba diving? If you come up too quickly, then you now are gonna get really, really sick and even in the in the threat of death. You've got to slowly make your way back to normal after something very intense.
SPEAKER_00Being very intentional after those big achievements.
SPEAKER_03And to actually design rest and design and to prepare yourself for the fact that the big feat is probably not going to last and it's not going to carry the weight that you would have hoped for months and years to come. You know, you know, I work with professional athletes, I have friends in the NFL and the NBA and MLS and a variety of professional sports who have won national championships and they're look at me afterwards and go, hmm, I thought this euphoria would last longer than three days. But oftentimes it doesn't. And one of the reasons is, Jeff, because it isn't what matters the most. At the end of our lives, our purpose cannot be tied to all of these great achievements that do not last. Our purpose should be tied and connected to those things that last forever, which I believe is a human spirit, a relationship with God. Uh things that transcend time and space and are not connected to possessions, property, wealth, and things that simply are going to not last forever.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's this comparison between fleeting and an and eternal. And it's almost like for me, putting on my glasses to ensure that I'm focused on the internal, the everlasting, the conversation that we're having right now. One of the themes you shared with our members today, and I I love the engagement from our members, they were locked in, and your entrance was so grand coming from because I was late. No, you were you were right on time. Anytime we can hang out with you, you're right on time, Michael.
Purpose And The Seasons Of Life
SPEAKER_00You mentioned this overall concept of seasons, and I don't think it's a very innate thing for each of us to think about the seasons of our life. And we have many folks transitioning, and they are searching for purpose, they've left their career, and now they're asking this question what what is their purpose? How would you define purpose and why do so many people struggle to stay connected to their purpose?
SPEAKER_03Well, I think one of the reasons is because we have a uh misconception of how we discover purpose. I mean, I get this a lot in the variety of dimensions, the people who live in the different seasons of their lives where they're like, I just am trying to find my purpose. And and we write about this in a couple of our books that my my good friend Dr. Bo Johnson and I write. And he actually wrote an entire book on purpose called On Purpose: Three Questions to Ask to Avoid an Accidental Life. But purpose is not something you find. Purpose is something you choose. And the way we think about purpose, in fact, we did a podcast together, he and I, which is all about purpose, all about purpose without the word purpose in the three words podcast. In the three words, we're suffer for something. That which you are willing to sacrifice for, that which you are willing to suffer for, that which you are willing to invest in, that doesn't give you all the benefits, but is more about others. That is where you will find your purpose. Whenever purpose is connected to something outside of yourself, it is definitely going to be more enduring than that which is all about you. Um, even some of this longevity work and some of the things that we're doing now. I want to, my goal is to live to be 200. It's it it's a purpose that is so self-consuming versus for others. I think a grand purpose that is awesome, and again, there's nothing wrong with having goals, but when you talk about purpose, ultimate purpose, it is about that which will outlive you, outlast you, and out give you.
SPEAKER_00How does someone go about having this conversation with themselves?
The Funeral Journal North Star
SPEAKER_03I think it really begins with um what's Dr. Stephen Covey talked about in his book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. He calls it the funeral journal. He's like, the only way to really determine what are your deepest core values and your passions is to actually think about what do you want to be said about you at the end of your life. So I, even at 24 years old, did my first funeral journal. These are things that I wanted my wife to say very explicitly, what do I want my sons to say, my daughters to say, my friends, my colleagues, my parents? What do I want them to say? Now, what's interesting about my funeral journal is nobody knows where my funeral journal is because I don't want it to be read at the end of my life. It is a tool for me to make sure that I'm living on purpose because then you can capture in your mind's eye your North Star. These are the things that I want to be true of me, said of me at the end of my life. I can then have the North Star to be able to make choices each day in light of then. As Stephen Covey talked about, to begin with the end in mind. So apart from doing an exercise like that, now some people are getting I get a little bit squeamish around funeral journals, so I've also reframed it. Let's do a 90th birthday day, a 90th birthday journal. You're the people gathered around you on your 90th birthday. What do you want to be said about you? And I think that gives you clues. And I remember doing this when I was a young man. And my mentor said to me as I brought it back to him, it's actually an assignment for me because I was struggling in life. I was an overdrive. I wasn't prioritizing my family as I should. I felt like I was not the guy that I was hoping to become. And he said, Let's hit the pause button and let's do a funeral journal. I'm like, at 24 hours, I'm going to be here a few more years. He's like, Yeah, now's the time. And as I brought that back to him, he said, Do you have your funeral journal with you? I'm not sure if you've ever heard this story, but I he he said to me, I said, Yeah, he said, he said, read it to me. I'm like, How hard was that for you? Right out. I wept. I just I pulled up, it was one of those old school composition books, black and white composition books. I started reading through and I just wept. And I'll never forget Todd looking at me, and he said to me, He leaned in. He was very provocative. But he would lean in and he goes, I have some very bad news for you. No one is ever going to say any of these things about you at the end of your life. Dramatic pause. Unless you begin making choices today. In light of then. Because you're not going to wake up having become someone you've not been becoming. And that was literally a wake-up call for me. And I think that haven't done that perfectly since then, but it really was. And even career-wise, back to your initial question about coaching. I wasn't coaching at the time. I wasn't a life coach at the time. I wasn't doing that work at the time. But he's like, it's interesting, Michael, as you look at who you want to be at the end of your life, most everything you're writing about and all the things that you want to be said is the depth of your human connection with people. How is your career and your choices and your time and your energy being spent? If that's what you want to be true at the end of your life, you need to build a career and a life and rhythms and routines that will get you there. And I was probably needing to reset my trajectory, which I did, and now I get to do this really cool stuff that I just adore and love and has high impact.
SPEAKER_00Your rhythms were not aligned with the person you were trying to become.
SPEAKER_03That's right. And most people think they are because they don't have the North Star. And so when you don't have a North Star, you just begin to resemble and you begin to replicate and repeat the things that you see happening among you and around you with the people that are closest, which isn't always the best models.
SPEAKER_00Trevor Burrus, Jr. You just keep making choices that don't move you in the direction that you because we don't have a direction.
SPEAKER_03Most people, if you say, where do you want to go? Where do you want to land? Most people are simply repeating worn out, tired mantras of I want to have a white picket fence and I want to have a happy family and I want to be happy and I want to have financial freedom. And again, they're all great things, but they don't capture your heart. They're not worthy of your life. They're shallow. And again, so often it's not that people are doing wrong things. And it's interesting. And when I do work with young fraternity men around the country, you know, one of the things I do as I'm sent into these various campuses to work with young men who seem a little bit lost. And I tell them all the time, which I would say, even to executives and athletes and people in different seasons of their life, Jeff, I would say, it's not that you're doing wrong things. It's not that your life is in a wrong direction. The issue is not that you're living a wrong life. It's that the vision for your life is way too small. That your vision for your life is so tiny, that your vision for relationships and fulfillment and happiness are so minuscule. The stakes are so low that your choices are just mediocre.
SPEAKER_00We sometimes don't set a vision that allows us to fulfill our full potential, what we're called to do. And that can be hard in in different seasons of our life because I don't think we're just stagnant individuals. You know, we evolve over the course of these seasons. And for many of our listeners, they navigate transitions, retirement, career changes, becoming empty nesters, and then health challenges is a big one. Working here at Pullman Bluff, we get to create these deep connections with people because we see them every day, taking care of their fitness, being proactive on the behavioral steps it takes to live and participate in an active lifestyle. It leads me to wondering what advice can you give someone entering into these different seasons of life?
Season By Season Life Priorities
SPEAKER_03Well, I think it depends on the season. The season, if you're in season two, the season of investigation between 20 and 40-ish, you need to be exploring and you need to be thinking about where can you add the greatest value. In the third season, between 40 and 60, the the the the priority is focus. How do you focus your energies to do only the things that you can do? And then the fourth season, if I can be so bold, between sixty and one hundred and twenty, because I think our lifespan is going to continue to grow, that our vision is bigger than the golf cart, that our vision is more robust than the beach chair, and the summer home, and the vacations, and the amenities, and the wealth, and this idea of the easy life, that it would be about investing in the next generation and being involved in helping people achieve their dreams, others beyond yourself. So I think there are different roles, there are different priorities, and there are different tasks to be achieved in each of those seasons. And again, we won't have time here in the podcast to talk about the four seasons, but in my book, Your Next Season, I talk about all four seasons, but at the root of all of those seasons, there are different beliefs, significant beliefs that need to be true in each of those seasons from which behaviors will flow.
SPEAKER_00Purpose gives us direction, but the way we often think Determines whether we move forward or stay stuck. You've said in the last 36 hours that thoughts can can consume us, control us. So let's let's talk a bit more about mindset.
Thinking Traps That Keep You Stuck
SPEAKER_00Your work often centers around helping people think better so they can actually live better. One way you've already explained this today is think bigger. Make sure your vision is beyond the thing. What are some of the common thinking traps that hold people back?
SPEAKER_03There's several.
SPEAKER_01Jealousy, comparison, selfishness, fear. Fear is probably the biggest.
SPEAKER_03I think those are probably the four biggest thinking traps. Fear. Oh, and then one more, of course, entitlement that I deserve. So fear, entitlement, jealousy, comparison. Those are big ones.
SPEAKER_00Michael, double-click on comparison.
SPEAKER_03Ooh, I was hoping you would say that. So comparison is, you've heard it said, the thief of joy. But actually, it's it's it's interesting. I've been thinking a lot about comparison. Um, actually, one of my three-words podcasts is stop comparing yourself. I don't know if your podcast is on all the podcasting platforms, but mine is. We're pretty much everywhere.
SPEAKER_00Okay, good. But if we're not, I'll get my producer to get on it, which which is me, myself, and I.
SPEAKER_03Okay. I'll connect you to my producer, which is not me, myself, and I, and maybe give you a few tips. But comparison is not only a thief of joy, it is distorted reality. Because what happens typically when we are comparing ourselves to others is, first of all, we tend to think we're behind when we're right on time. But even more dangerous than that and more sad is the fact that when I'm comparing myself to others, I find myself running down a trail or down a path that I should not go, realizing it's a dead end and then coming back to where I started and realize the opportunity that I should have taken has been missed. The opportunity that was in front of me that was designed for me, that tied into my core values and my calling no longer exists because I was chasing this idea, this comparison, this person that I had in my mind that probably isn't real anyways, even though social media and others would say, oh, this is what this person. Behind all of that is real stuff. We all have mass, we all have issues. So we're comparing ourselves to a thing that isn't real.
SPEAKER_00And if I'm understanding correctly, comparison is basically breadcrumbs that take us on a trail in the wrong direction. That's well said. I like that metaphor.
SPEAKER_03Keep going. Well, I think comparison, I think entitlement is a big one. The fact that to live this in this world that I deserve, that I have a right to, you know, one of my favorite words in the English language is undeservedly. And the reason is I know where I've come from, but not even from a socioeconomic status, not even from a family status, but just the fact that I am here, the miracle of my existence, the fact that I am here with you now, the fact that I'm on this planet, that I get to breathe and see and hear and engage. Like, why are we grumbling? Why are we comparing? Why are we living in this world of, and again, you can study scarcity brains, a great research out there. It's like we're we're we're wired to always think we don't have enough, even when we have more than enough. And that's what's creating a lot of the fear and the jealousy and the comparison. It's the overindulgence, it's the overconsumption, it's the fact that we have so much that we get stuck in these spaces and places where complaining and entitlement and grumbling become so normal. And when someone doesn't react that way, we think something's wrong with them. The default is like if I'm having a fantastic, why are you so positive? What's your problem? Negativity has become normalized. Yeah. And cynicism would be another one of those traps. It's the fact that I always think that the cup is half empty versus half full. We always our brains are wired to go after worst-case scenarios and to think something is not, oh, woe is me. And so you have to continue to. I mean so much of the the battles in life are about the mind and the spirit. But we just think it's about you talked about beliefs, and I've talked a lot about beliefs.
Beliefs Drive Behaviors And Belonging
SPEAKER_03Beliefs fuel behaviors. Now I can get behavior modification from my children, even whether they believe me or not, for about two hours. But when they leave for college or they walk out of the house, then I'm really gonna know what they believe. In fact, I don't even need people to tell me what they believe. People are like, well, this is what I believe. I'm like, we don't need to tell me what you believe. I can tell what you believe based upon how you behave. Theoretically, you believe this or you believe this or you believe this, but your choices in the moment will always tell me what you most believe, truly believe. And and so if I'm gonna change someone's behavior, I've got to change that is sustainable. Sustained behavior changes because I've we've worked on their belief system.
SPEAKER_00Because when you change their beliefs, and as long as those beliefs match the behaviors that know that they know take them in the way they want to be remembered, the way they want to be known, the way that takes them to be to use your language of purpose and connection, if that's what we're after, start with the beliefs, don't just always start with the behaviors.
SPEAKER_03That's right. In fact, even in my book, Own Your Life, I talk about the uh seven, or maybe it's eight, eight B's to owning your life. And the most important one is my beliefs. I have to own my beliefs. And then I have to own my behaviors, and you're talking about human connection. That's the third thing. You have to own where you belong. You have to own your inner circle. You have to own the people you listen to, you have to own the people that are that you would associate with that you call family and friends. You need to own who you spend your time with because you will resemble with whom you relate. Environments. Oh, yeah. Powerful. So then, along with that, I need to own my brand and I need to own my boundaries, and I need to own, again, to stick with the alliteration, bravery. Like I have to make courageous choices on a regular basis. And all of those things I need to take ownership for, but the very foundational thing I need to take ownership for is my own beliefs, not my parents' beliefs, not culture's beliefs, but what I believe to be true about me, about the ultimate, about what the world should be, about justice and equality, about fairness and I have to decide what do I believe to be true. And then as I work on that mindset to use your word, then the behaviors and the choices. You know, I use this phrase a lot with my athletes: head, heart, hands. Head is what I think, heart is what I feel, hands is what I choose to do. And if I'm gonna affect hands, I typically have to do some extensive deep dives into heart and head.
SPEAKER_00It makes so much sense to me, Michael, as someone who's been helping people with behavior change for decades almost now. You cannot start with just go work out. You can't begin with we'll just eat healthier meals. Everybody knows what to do, but from what I'm hearing, we forget to start with the head and the heart. And to dial that into a place of fully understanding our beliefs so that we can authentically live. And that that was a word that was coming up for me is as you were describing this, is no one wants to live in a way where they're where they aren't living the way that they know they're meant to live. And that's authenticity. Isn't it the worst when you meet someone and they try to explain who they are, but their actions and how they behave doesn't necessarily align with who you're seeing in front of you?
SPEAKER_03Absolutely. But I would encourage you to do all three at the same time. I don't think it's ideal to build the foundation, but sometimes, unlike a house, you can build all three at the same time. So I want you to actually do the thing while building the belief. I want you to choose the behavior at the same time that you are building the belief and you're training your emotions and you're doing because again, if we wait to get the belief purpose purposely perfect, buttoned down, it's never gonna happen. I have to, yeah, I don't like this analogy because it makes me feel nervous, and I know you're not a big fan of flying. But this idea that I'm gonna build the plane as we fly it, that doesn't sound very safe, but that's what I'm encouraging in this particular situation is that you're gonna build the plane as you're flying. And so I want you to be able to keep making those choices alongside of fortifying them with uh of an enhanced belief system.
SPEAKER_00That's an outstanding pause. Don't wait. Start the behaviors as you're building the plane.
SPEAKER_03But if you're wondering why is this not working, why do I keep quitting most of what I start? And why can't I keep my commitments to myself? It's probably because you're breaking down in the head heart area. The plane can't take off, basically. Or it will crash.
SPEAKER_00So the plane does the plane is has taken off, but it continues to not be able to land and falls out of the sky.
SPEAKER_03Or it doesn't go, it doesn't reach the elevation it needs to to go the distance it needs to. It ends up going, you know what, we're out of gas, and so we're gonna have to land, you know, three states before our destination. You like our plane metaphor? We're just gonna keep going.
SPEAKER_00So much to that. Yeah, that that's gonna be a separate conversation, I'm sure we'll have here soon. What I enjoy most about you, Michael, is you simplify these concepts in a way of helping those out there remember and be able to lean on something.
Simple Frameworks That Spark Action
SPEAKER_00Your podcast, three words podcast, very simple, 15, 17 minutes, no longer. You share a lot of simple ideas on there, and you have a lot of frameworks that you've shared over the last 36 hours here and even in our episode today. Why do you believe simple ideas help people to create more lasting change than complicated solutions?
SPEAKER_03Well, but because we're on information overload. And so the problem is not that I need more information or more knowledge. I need more application. And so I would love to say, you know, and which is why I've said, even some of my favorite books, people are like, what do you what book am I reading right now? I said, I think you should read, fill in the blank. Read one page a day. They're like, what? That's gonna take forever. It doesn't matter. The goal is not consumption, the goal is application. So, and again, uh, I'm gonna feed into uh what has become the digital era where our our attention span is what, 14 seconds? I'm gonna actually lean in that direction because it is true. Whether we like it or not, our distress, we're easily distracted, our attention span is shorter than it ever has been before. It's hard to be present. So I'm gonna feed into that. But as well, I want to do and I want to encourage, let me say it this way perspective, principles, practices. That's my framework. Or big ideas, instruction, implementation. So whether it's I's or P's or S's, it's all about an idea, it's all about what to do next, and then do it. Um, I I love particularly perspective, principles, practices. Here's the big picture, here's the perspective, here are the principles that are timeless and true, and now here are the best practices to do the next thing right now. So I am always about the next step, the next action. In fact, if you look at my 240 episodes of Three Words Podcast, they are actionable three-word phrases that actually push people to action. Don't overthink it. Do it now, delay immediate gratification, share that secret, raise strong kids, date your spouse. I could go on and on and on. It's very actionable and it's very, honestly, sustainable with practice and with practice and with practice. So, you know, for instance, I have an acrostic get real. Well, R-E-A-L, reject passivity and irresponsibility, exhibit integrity and honesty, appreciate connectedness and transparency, and lead intentionally and then your word authentically. I have a nine choices you can make to be more confident. C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-T, courage to take risks. Oh, opportunities for a better tomorrow. N, negative thoughts removed. The second N, negative thoughts replaced. The very last T, I won't go through all of them, is tenacious refusal to ever give up. Nine choices to make to build your confidence. Everyone wants to build their confidence. But how do we do it? I am all about action. Action, action, action. Because I am, and I've said it all throughout our 36 hours together, we are the accumulation of our choices and nothing else. We are 0% our intentions and 100% our decisions. And so I am going to make decisions and actions and choices that will compound. And the best way to do that is to catch someone's attention. So when I'm speaking to a crowd and I did it even here, maybe you didn't notice, but I am wanting to wreck their thinking. I am wanting to touch their heart. I want them to get a I want them to get a lump in their throat. I want them to feel something. I want them to think differently. I want them to feel differently, and then I want them to do something differently. You want them to make their next best choice. That's it. Maximizing the moment. Every choice counts, each moment matters.
SPEAKER_00It's empowering because every single one of us out there has felt stuck, and we forget sometimes that it's just about choosing.
SPEAKER_03Here are the six steps to become unstuck. Because again, it's so normal. We all know what it feels like to be stuck and to lack confidence and to overthink things and to not feel real and authentic and to not take ownership. Like all the things we're talking about. Like, why not say, I want this, and here is the pathway to develop that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And something you said earlier in our conversation, own it. Own it. Own it. Just go. Stop. You got this. Yeah. And I think that's the empowering message there of simple ideas, great. Now put them to action. Use the frameworks. Make it happen. Don't get so caught up in it being exactly as you think it should be, because the beliefs and the behaviors they can compound at the same time as you're going to be explaining.
SPEAKER_03And it's going to be imperfect behaviors. It's going to be imperfect. So the imperfect choice is better than the non-choice. And when you choose not to decide, you just decided. Indecision is a decision. And so waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting, do the thing. And then if it doesn't go well, do something slightly different. But we're just so wired to overthink, to wait. And part of that is in that belief system that we live as though we're guaranteed tomorrow. I'll do that tomorrow. I'll do that next week. What if there is not a tomorrow? What is not next week? How sad is that? The missed opportunities, the promises and the possibilities that we said after this, after that, after this. That may come. But it's funny that when you get to that place of after, when you actually arrive at the place that you said after, and then you're like, well, a little longer. I have one more thing. You know, I love even talking to people who would be what I would consider and others would consider very wealthy. And it's interesting because we know there's no increase, there's no um increase in the level of happiness after $75,000 a year. I mean, I mean again, maybe it depends on how you live. Yeah. But it's interesting, I love to tell people give me your number. What is the number that you want? There's no right answer or wrong answer, but when you're there, you stop and live your life. And what's funny, when they get there, nine times out of ten, just a little bit more.
SPEAKER_00Nobody stops.
SPEAKER_03Some do. They do. They're actually, yeah, I've actually known someone who says, Yep, I will hold, I want, and they want to, and they do. Um, but most don't.
SPEAKER_00Restraint is hard. Well, we're getting towards the end of our time, Michael.
Three Practices For Real Fulfillment
SPEAKER_00And for us, behind the bluff has always been a tool to help people live the life they're meant the met they're meant to live. And as a coach, your perspectives that you've shared today are are powerful. When you think about individuals living well over the long run, the habits and practices, if we are able to just distill this down to a few habits and practices, what are those habits and practices that have the greatest impact not just on health or longevity, but being at the end and feeling deep fulfillment.
SPEAKER_03Well, I love that word fulfillment, Jeff, because it ties into my purpose for being. People will say, well, why does DMB coaching and third space and three words podcasts and all the things that you're doing? Why do you do that? And I think it's because of this. Every person I meet on the planet is living, but very few of them are alive. And I think the three practices that are most crucial, and I could talk about dozens of practices, micro choices, rhythms, routines, all the things that are maximizing your life. But I think if I were to narrow it to three, it is to design every day, to be fully present, and to focus on becoming. I taught that to your members even earlier today, but those are really the practices, is that I want to design my day. I want to focus around the choices, um, the time that I spend doing that, which is most meaningful and matters the most. And then making sure that my energy is increased along with that. So time and energy, time and energy is the things I want to focus on. And I design my days and my weeks and my months so that I maximize my time and I increase and enhance my energy. Secondly, being fully present. The best gift you can give any human being is to be fully present in their presence. And to be fully present with the people that you love. You know, we hear it all the time, oh, the kids grow up so quick and the grandkids grow up so quick and all these very it's like we keep missing out. It's one of the reasons we have all of our children and grandchildren over. I tell my wife, like, we're not gonna cook. We're not gonna, let's just cater everything. I know it's expensive, but let's eliminate every distraction that keeps us from being present in the human relationships that we have. I mean, how often do we have holidays that are so stressful? Where it's like you're doing all these things for the people and for the being present with one another on the most important amazing days, and we don't even see each other because we're doing things that don't matter as most so much. So I think it's being fully present, and then finally focus on becoming. Like building your person apart from your achievements, your virtues, your generosity, your character, gratitude, compassion, integrity, honesty, resilience, like all of those becoming. If I can focus on becoming, it's amazing how much the wealth and the opportunities and the brand and all the cool things that we actually are chasing will come as an after-effect, as an outcome of becoming the person, as opposed to trying to build the brand without becoming the person, because eventually that gap between the brand and the becoming becomes so big that there's a crash and burn scenario in the head.
SPEAKER_04So I think those are the three most important practices. Design your day, be fully present, and focus on becoming.
SPEAKER_03And the possibilities, and we talked about this today, is that you will be more connected, you will feel more grateful, and you'll be more fully alive.
SPEAKER_00Final question, Michael.
Wellness Defined With A New Acronym
SPEAKER_00What does wellness mean to you?
SPEAKER_03You know, I'm going to in real time create an acrostic for you. No way. I have that honor. I'm just thinking, can I pull this off literally in real time? Let's do it. Wellness, knowing your why. W H Y. You need to know your why. What is your grand purpose? E, that you would bring your energy and enthusiasm to every moment. Don't wait to feel the enthusiasm, don't wait to feel the energy you bring. The energy. That feels like wellness. Looking closely, listening carefully. The combination of those two L's means that you will be able to love extravagantly. People feel loved when they feel seen and they feel heard. There's no question in my mind that N is always going to be negative thoughts removed and negative thoughts replaced. E, oh the second E in your wellness acrostic that I'm creating for you in real time is being expressive. Telling the people in your life that you love them. Telling them how much they mean to you. Don't wait to speak the things that you feel, be encouraging.
SPEAKER_01Two S's. Success redefined.
SPEAKER_03Success redefined. And the reason I say success we redefined is because we oftentimes measure success with possessions and prosperity and position and power. But what if success was how deeply connected am I to human beings that live forever?
SPEAKER_04I need one more S.
SPEAKER_03We're friends now. Can you give me one? Yeah. Fill in my last word of my cresticrostic.
SPEAKER_00Soar. Ooh. SOAR to be specific so we don't get confused with muscle soreness. But sore. Soar every second you have. Fly like no other. You have one reason you're here. And only you know that reason. So put on the wings. Don't be scared. Get after it. We gotta make more acrostics together, Michael. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Well, I what a fun experience together. For the record, I had more I I contributed more to that across. Just a few more letters. How was that in real time? That was fun. Epic. It's copyrighted. 2026, Dr. Michael Brown. Can't steal it.
SPEAKER_00You're on behind the buff, though. I think I get first rights.
SPEAKER_03Okay, fair enough. It's great to be with you, my friend.
SPEAKER_00Michael, well, thank you so much for the time you've spent here at Pullman Above for having the conversation on leadership with our leaders here at the club, for taking the time to speak into our members this morning on the seasons of life and just taking these moments to help all of us be present. It's an honor.
Healthy Momentum And A Weekly Challenge
SPEAKER_00Listeners, feel free to hang out with me for a few more minutes and get some healthy momentum for the rest of your week. Wow. DMB, what a special guy. One idea from my conversation with Dr. Michael Brown that stuck with me was this. We live life as if tomorrow is guaranteed, and that's a problem. Not because we should live in fear, but because certainty about tomorrow often creates complacency today. We put off the phone call, we delay starting the workout routine, we tell ourselves we'll be more present next week with our spouse, we'll pursue that dream next month or mend that relationship when things slow down. But here's the truth Michael said it. Indecision is a decision. Every time we say I'll do it later, we've already decided. We've decided to postpone our health, our relationships, and the things that matter most. Michael challenged me to think differently, not just in this conversation, but the time that he spent with us so graciously here at Palmetto Bluff. And it was this question that kept him coming up for me. What if we approach today with the understanding that this day is a gift, not a guarantee? You'd probably design it differently. You'd put your phone down during dinner, you'd take the walk, you'd have the hard conversation, you'd send the text, you'd tell people you love them, you'd stop waiting for a perfect tomorrow and start fully inhabitating today. Because wellness isn't just about adding years to your life, it's about adding life to your years starting now. So here's your challenge this week. Don't borrow from tomorrow. Design today, be fully present in every moment, and make at least one decision you've been postponing. Because if tomorrow comes, you'll be grateful you acted today. And if it doesn't, you'll know you didn't leave this day unlived. That's your healthy momentum for this week. We look forward to having you join the conversation again next Wednesday. And remember to actively participate in life in your terms.
