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From Pissed Off to Poised- A Podcast for Busy Women Professionals
This podcast is designed to help overcommitted women, physicians, and
professionals move from being reactionary—often feeling anger and
resentment—to becoming more intentional and responsive. The goal is to
help you enjoy life while still getting everything that needs to be done,
done.
In this show, we’ll dive deep into how to shift from reacting to responding
when it comes to anger, while recognizing that the first step to making a change is building our awareness. I’ll also share practical tips on how to say "yes" only to what truly matters to you and create a calendaring system that works—one that honors your commitments to both yourself and others.
As a retired pediatrician, the co-founder of Virginia iSpine Physicians, and
a trauma informed certified mindset coach I have navigated multiple career transitions in life and am still evolving as I apply these concepts in other areas with grace and vulnerability. I want to share what I have learned over the years so that you can start to create more peace in your day to day life,
as you begin to shift from reaction to response.
From Pissed Off to Poised- A Podcast for Busy Women Professionals
Ep 25: Perfectly Imperfect: Reclaiming Your Time by Releasing Control with Dr. Melissa Parsons
Today, I’m joined by my bestie from residency and fellow coach, Dr. Melissa Parsons—the one who first introduced me to coaching. And let me tell you, at the time, I thought she’d lost her mind. But as we all know now, she was onto something that completely changed both our lives.
Melissa and I had a common struggle before coaching: the urge to control everything—especially the people we love. Like so many high-achieving women, we believed that if things were done our way, life would be smoother, safer, and just better. But here’s the truth: control is an exhausting illusion. No matter how much we try, the only thing we actually have control over is ourselves. And the more energy we pour into micromanaging, the less we have for what really matters—peace, connection, and trust.
In this episode, Melissa shares how she realized control was actually working against her, and we both open up about how loosening our grip has transformed our relationships—especially with our kids. Letting go doesn’t mean chaos; it means creating space for growth—both theirs and ours.
If control is your default mode, start small. Pick one thing you think has to be done perfectly, and just… let it go. Let yourself see that nothing crumbles when you do. And once you get a taste of what’s on the other side of control, you might just realize—you don’t want it back.
What You'll Learn:
- See how control functions as a survival skill—how having things just right can create a false sense of safety.
- Recognize the mental and physical toll that the need to control takes on you.
- Experience the relief and freedom that comes with accepting that the only thing you can truly control is yourself.
- Discover how letting go of control can transform your relationships for the better.
Featured:
- Learn more about Dr. Melissa Parsons on her website, listen to her podcast, or connect her on Instagram.
- "Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”- Pema Chödrön
- Find more wisdom to guide you in letting go of control in When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön.
- Read this impactful passage from When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön.
- Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
- Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
- Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.
