32. Why Accepting Your Diagnosis Doesn't Mean Giving Up Hope.

 Do you think accepting your diagnosis means you've lost hope?

Short Summary: In this episode of Wellbeing Interrupted, Teisha Rose confronts a common misunderstanding related to her health journey—acceptance. She explores the intricate relationship between acceptance and hope, clarifying that accepting one's condition does not imply giving up hope. Drawing from her own experiences with multiple sclerosis and stage 4 breast cancer, Teisha discusses how acceptance is a proactive step that empowers individuals to manage their health actively and optimistically look towards the future.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Acceptance Is Not Passive Resignation: Acceptance means recognising your health condition and taking an active role in your wellness journey.

Defining Acceptance in Illness: Acceptance is not just about acknowledging the reality of your illness; it's about understanding how you can positively influence your future despite the diagnosis.

Coexistence of Acceptance and Hope: Acceptance and hope are complementary, not contradictory. They work together to foster a proactive and hopeful approach to facing health challenges.

Empowering Insights on Acceptance and Hope: Taking an active role in managing your health can turn acceptance into a powerful tool that enhances your quality of life.

Final Thoughts on Acceptance: Active acceptance is about engaging with your current health situation and using it as a foundation to build future well-being and resilience.

SHOW RESOURCES

Sign up for the Hurdle2Hope Newsletter: Stay updated with inspiring stories and practical tips by subscribing at hurdle2hope.com/newsletter.

Psychology Today Article on Acceptance: Teisha discusses insights from an article by William Berry in Psychology Today, which emphasises that acceptance is an active process. Read more here.

 Previous Wellbeing Interrupted Episodes 

• Episode 30: Why I Am Not In Denial With My Health Condition
• Episode 29: Hurdle2Hope®️ Stories: Meet Leah Alstin Living with FA

🎧 Listen here or wherever you get your podcasts!

 If you’re feeling overwhelmed by a health challenge, download the free guide here:

 https://teisharose.com/overwhelmed/

If you’re ready for more support, explore the Thriving Through Chronic Illness course and one-on-one coaching here:

 https://teisharose.com/thriving

Unexpected hurdles interrupt all of our lives. It is how you respond that will define your experience.

To find out how Hurdle2Hope can support you or your organisation please visit hurdle2hope.com. 

I would love to connect with you, Teisha.

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Transcript

Wellbeing Interrupted 

Episode 32. Why Accepting Your Diagnosis Doesn't Mean Giving Up Hope.

Host Teisha Rose

[00:00:00] Teisha Rose: Hey there, Teisha here, and welcome to Episode 32 of Wellbeing Interrupted. Another week. How quick are the weeks going at the moment? But spring is in the air. Air here in Central Victoria, Australia. The weather has been beautiful, the sky's blue, the sun's out, and gosh, doesn't that make a difference to your mood?

[00:00:29] I've been spending lots of time outside, walking more than I've ever walked, well, especially over the last 25 plus years, and trying to make sure my vitamin D levels are doing okay. What they're meant to be doing. And as I walk, I've been thinking a lot, reflecting a lot, and I've started thinking even more about the importance of hope and new beginnings.

[00:01:03] So a couple of episodes ago, episode 30, I talked about denial and how it's different from hope. So the episode was sparked from, I guess, hearing from someone. They thought I was in denial and I thought I'd investigate that and have a look at what denial really means. So if you haven't listened to that episode, do so now and then follow along.

[00:01:35] As today, I'm talking about acceptance. So, do I accept my illness? Absolutely, yes. MS? Breast cancer or stage 4 breast cancer? Yes, I accept I have them. Do I have hope for the future? A hundred percent, I do. But how do these two seemingly contradictory ideas coexist? So, in this episode, We'll explore what acceptance really means.

[00:02:12] How it differs from Passive Resignation, I'll talk to you about how I heard about Passive Resignation and how I love that term, and why acceptance is not the end of the road. And how I see it is, it's really a step towards empowering ourselves to have an impact on our experience with our illness.

Wellbeing Interrupted Intro 

[00:02:45] Welcome to Wellbeing Interrupted, a podcast dedicated to exploring the transformative power of a healing mindset. I'm Teisha Rose, your host and the founder of If you're on a quest to not just survive but thrive after a life-changing diagnosis, then you're definitely in the right place. Living with MS and now stage 4 breast cancer has taught me a vital lesson. In the face of a life-changing illness, our mindset is everything. Each week, I'll share insights, tips and strategies to help you build a happier, healthier, more balanced life. So let's begin your journey from hurdle to hope, starting right now.

Acceptance Is Not Passive Resignation

So after the denial episode, episode 30, I was texting a friend and I love doing that because I love really unpacking the episodes and I guess joining in and learning from these conversations.

[00:03:55] And my friend pointed out that perhaps some people who might think I'm in denial, maybe that's more to do with what we define acceptance as being. And she introduced this concept of passive resignation. And I loved it. Not that I like the concept of passively resigning ourselves to You know, a hopeless future, but it did make me realise that this actually might be a common misconception that by accepting our situation that we're passively resigning to what our doctors or what the statistics tell us Thanks for listening.

[00:04:48] of our future. And this texting actually really made me reflect on what I consider acceptance to be. And acceptance for me isn't about surrendering all of my power to MS or or to Cancer. It's definitely not about saying here you go Cancer or MS, do what you need to do and I'll just wait around, you know, I'll just wait around to be what the statistics say I should be.

[00:05:33] And as I've said before, MS is definitely my silver lining. You know, dealing with stage 4 breast cancer has been made easier because of MS and MS taught me acceptance and my version of acceptance. So when I was first diagnosed with MS, I assumed I had no control over my situation. I was very reactive. I waited for symptoms to happen, then I'd seek treatment.

[00:06:18] So I'd wait to see how bad my legs would get and think, well, if I'm struggling to walk, if that's impacting my job, then I'll go to the hospital and get some steroids, have an infusion, feel horrendous, but know that that would help get my legs working again, and then I'd return to work. But being reactive didn't help, this approach didn't work, and my health suffered.

[00:06:52] In my 20s, my experience with MS was horrendous. I kept going back to hospital, reacting to my symptoms, didn't do any favours physically, emotionally or mentally. So fortunately with MS, I realised I had to be proactive in my response. And being proactive by prioritising my wellbeing, by making huge life decisions from changing my career to studying social work to travelling to, you know, moving to the beach, um, doing all these things to prioritise my wellbeing was great lessons because it made me realise that I can have an impact, that I accept the impact.

[00:07:44] MS is part of my life, but I don't accept that I can't have an impact on my experience. And fortunately, realizing that and becoming proactive meant my health improved so much.

Defining Acceptance in Illness 

[00:08:06] So, like I did with Episode 30, I really want to be clear as to what I mean by acceptance. And as I've said, you know, for many acceptance means agreeing with the statistics and the narratives that come with a diagnosis. And part of that then is thinking, accepting that there is no hope. You know, thinking, what's the point in trying to change the outcome if the disease, like stage 4 breast cancer, is considered incurable or terminal?

[00:08:48] And I've read comments like that. You know, I've read comments that, what's the point? We know that we're going to die with stage 4 breast cancer. There's no point battling that because we know what the outcome will be. But for me, that doesn't work. You know, for me, acceptance means acknowledging the reality of your situation and hands up.

[00:09:16] As I said in Episode 30, I do that. You know, I accept that I have MS and Stage 4 breast cancer, but that acceptance doesn't mean I'm going to take on board what others think my future will be. It doesn't mean I'm in denial, it means that I have hope. So I recently read an article by William Berry in Psychology Today, and he quotes, um, John Kabat Zinn who wrote a book called Coming to our Senses, and I love this quote so I'm going to read it out to you.

[00:10:08] Acceptance doesn't, by any stretch of the imagination, Mean Passive Resignation. Quite the opposite. It takes a huge amount of fortitude and motivation to accept what is, especially when you don't like it, and then work wisely to and effectively, as best you possibly can, with the circumstances you find yourself in, and with the resources at your disposal, both inner and outer, to mitigate, heal, and heal.

[00:10:47] Redirect and change what can be changed. And I love this quote and it perfectly encapsulates what I want to share with you today. Acceptance is active.

Coexistence of Acceptance and Hope

[00:11:09] As I said, I'm I truly believe that acceptance and hope can co exist, and for me acceptance isn't the final destination, it's about acknowledging reality, but also getting actively involved in shaping your future. And by becoming actively involved, that's how acceptance and hope can coexist because they fuel each other.

[00:11:42] So I guess I want to use my podcast and my writing for Brains Magazine and because I Thinking as I'm talking, I'll definitely write an article about denial, acceptance and hope, because I think it's really important for all of us to reflect on this, especially if you do have a health condition. And I want to challenge the many people who view acceptance as giving in to an inevitable future.

[00:12:15] I've learnt through MS that our future isn't set in stone. You know, we don't know what's possible until we actively participate in the present. And this conversation takes me back, you know, to those dark, dark times in hospital, lying in a bed, overhearing doctors talk about me, saying that at least she can use her hands, you know, taking away any hope I had.

[00:12:50] Nurses I know were looking and thinking I wasn't accepting. My reality, that I was in denial and I kept thinking, I can't move my legs, no denying that, I'm not in denial, I accept I have MS, I accept that I'm not in a good position, but I was never passive and I never resigned to the fact that the future they assumed would be mine, was going to be mine.

[00:13:28] And I think that distinction changed my life. So if we're not going to resign to a future that we mightn't want, then we need to actively participate in our acceptance. You know, I need to say, yes, I accept I have stage 4 breast cancer, but like in my acceptance of having MS, I need to get involved. I need to look at my diet.

[00:14:03] You know, I need to exercise more, which I'm doing here now. I need to prioritize my well being. You know, I need to do as much as I can to release the stress from my body. I need to meditate. So I need to keep doing all of these things, which will help me physically, emotionally, and spiritually, because I'm accepting that I live with two really significant conditions, but in accepting that, I'm not giving up hope for my future.

[00:14:41] I'm not taking on board the statistics, not because I don't respect the researchers, because I think, well, that doesn't give me hope because that doesn't enable me to have an impact on my future.

Empowering Insights on Acceptance and Hope

[00:15:02] So I guess, After, you know, another conversation of me talking to myself, but hopefully you're listening there and you're thinking and reflecting on your own acceptance of your situation. I want you to remind you that the person you are today is not the same person you'll be tomorrow. And acceptance doesn't mean resigning to a predicted future.

[00:15:32] Instead, it's about empowering yourself in the present. You know, because we don't know what tomorrow brings. So I think this does two things. It encourages us to stay in the present, to do all we can do to control the now, to accept the now, you know, to accept that we've got a health condition, But to actively be involved in our lives, to do all we can do to keep being well, and there's so much we can control.

[00:16:10] And I keep going back to the episode with Leah, and that was, I'll put the, that link number I think episode 29 in the show notes again, because Leah's doing so much to control the now. But what this is also saying is the person you'll be in the future is different to who you are now and no matter what happens that you'll be able to have an impact on that if you continue to learn and grow through this experience.

[00:16:52] So we can't just sit there with blind faith, hoping for a future that, you know, the cancer will go into remission, that it will stay in remission, that I'll stay healthy with MS. I can't just hope for that and not do anything to work towards that. And If, say if I did have a massive relapse, I'm not envisaging that, but I did, I still know that hoping for a better outcome in the future hasn't been wasted because by focusing on the present, by focusing on what I can control here and now, that I've learnt so much, that I've prioritised my health, that my health is so much better than what it would be otherwise, then my impact on that experience will, with MS, will be so much better.

[00:17:50] You know, and whatever happens with cancer, we talk about living with an uncertain future. Part of having the confidence of looking ahead to an unknown future is Learning and growing, you know, because no matter what happens, I will not be the same person as I was when I took that phone call when I found out my cancer had spread.

[00:18:17] Because even in the last two years, I've learnt so much, I've grown so much as a person that I'm more confident than ever that I can have an impact on my experience. So some final thoughts. If you're struggling with acceptance, remember, it's not about giving up, but about actively shaping your future.

[00:18:46] Don't let the statistics define you. Let your actions today define you. Create your future.

Final Thoughts on Acceptance

[00:18:59] So sorry, talking a lot again, but I think this is so important because I'm really worried that people accept the now, but they do that passively and they assume that means there's no hope for the future. And I want to demonstrate that that is not the case. So I'd love to hear how you define acceptance.

[00:19:25] Do you view it as a passive state or do you view it as something more active? Or has this challenged you to become more active, to really be open to having an impact on your future? So let's continue this conversation. Follow me, as I've mentioned, at Hurdle2Hope on Instagram and Facebook. Also, if you're listening and are on LinkedIn, I'll put my LinkedIn details below because I'm on there a bit more now.

[00:20:02] Teisha Rose, I think there's a dash in between my name so search me, um, otherwise I'll put the link there as well because I think it's important for all of us. All of us to talk about acceptance and I'll be putting a post on LinkedIn about that as well. And as I mentioned, stay tuned because I want to write about this for an upcoming article on brains.

[00:20:31] And if you haven't yet, sign up for the Hurdle2Hope newsletter, the link also will be in the show notes, otherwise visit Hurdle2Hope. com forward slash newsletter, remember Hurdle2Hope is with the number two. If you know someone struggling with a diagnosis. or new symptoms or they've got a, you know, new prognosis, encourage them to listen to Wellbeing Interrupted because these are the type of conversations I wish I had access to in my 20s when podcasts weren't around.

[00:21:15] Um, but it would have helped me so much because I really, really struggled with trying to work out in my mind that I didn't want to accept the future that was being prescribed to me. Other than that, thank you for listening. Hope you have a fabulous week coming up. Hopefully, the sun will keep shining here at Daisy Hill.

[00:21:43] Have a great week and we will chat soon. 

Wellbeing Interrupted Outro

Thank you so much for joining me today on Wellbeing Interrupted. If today's episode inspired you or you think it could help others, please share it by tagging at Hurdle2Hope in your Instagram stories, or just by telling a friend about it. To spread our message of healing and hope to those who need it most, your ratings and reviews count.

[00:22:11] Views are invaluable. By taking a moment to rate and review on your listening platform, you help us attract inspiring guests and create content that empowers all of us to thrive. Don't forget to follow me on at Hurdle2Hope for more insights. I'd love to see you there. Always remember to thrive after a life changing diagnosis. Your mindset is everything.