The Hurdle2Hope® Show

Season 2 Episode 9: Life After Cancer with Steph Davies: Mental Wellbeing Support

• Teisha Rose • Season 2 • Episode 9

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What happens when treatment stops? 

When the appointments end, life after cancer often brings new challenges—fear of recurrence, identity shifts, and the question of how to move forward. In this episode of The Hurdle2Hope® Show, I sit down with Steph Davies, founder of Life After Cancer, to talk about how she turned her own experience into a community supporting others through the emotional and mental realities of life beyond treatment. 

 

KEY EPISODE TAKEAWAYS  

  • Finishing treatment is the start of a new chapter. 
  • Fear of recurrence is common and there are ways to manage it. 
  • Compassion and mindset shifts help in recovery. 
  • Community connection reduces isolation. 
  • Small, steady steps create momentum. 

 

SHOW RESOURCES  

Send Teisha a text message ❤️🧡💚

Unexpected hurdles interrupt all of our lives. It is how you respond that will define your experience.

To find out how Hurdle2Hope can support you or your organisation please visit hurdle2hope.com.

I would love to connect with you, Teisha.


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Teisha Rose: [00:00:00] Hey there, Teisha here. And apologies, my hair's probably everywhere. It is very windy and I've just tried to find a spot, , where I'm not gonna get blown away. But welcome to The Hurdle2Hope® Show. Hopefully you've had a good week. I've been quite restful this week it's been, yeah, it's been a busy few weeks, so I had a really quiet weekend, which was lovely.

And now I'm actually heading back down to Melbourne I go there once a month for Professional Speakers Australia. It's really good for me to go to groups like that and really learn from others who have a lot more experience than I in that space. Okay, so sorry, the rain's gonna come. I'm still getting blown away.

In today's episode, I'm speaking to the incredible Steph Davies. Steph is the founder of Life After Cancer, and what an incredible organization she has founded. When treatment finishes. And this can be cancer, it can be any treatment for any condition, [00:01:00] and you are given the news you are in remission.

That's amazing. But mentally you enter a new era and that can be really difficult. So that's what Steph and I talk about today. Both of us with lived experience. Steph herself was diagnosed with cancer. What she's doing in this space is incredible. So I hope you really enjoy this episode. 

​[00:02:00] 

Teisha Rose: Thank you Steph for joining us here on the Hurdle to Hope Show. Really pleased that we've connected.

Steph Davies: Thank you so much for having me. Really grateful to be here.

Teisha Rose: And just to let everyone know, where are we chatting to you from?

Because your accent is different to my Australian accent. 

Steph Davies: I, am, in East London today where life after cancer started. It is, um, yeah, got a kind of classic British summer day today, cloud rain, little, lovely sky, little bit of everything.

Teisha Rose: That's good. Uh, lots of Australians live, I lived over in Edinburgh for a year back in, back in my twenties and lots of Australians over in London traveling around, so yes. We know, we know the temperature, so That's all right. Um, and just so people can get to know you a little bit, what type of things do you like to do outside of work? Like what brings you joy and happiness?

Steph Davies: Oh, good question. Um, I love being [00:03:00] outside. Uh. Pilates, just kind of taking care of myself at the gym, being outside long walks. Got a 6-year-old daughter spending lots of time with her being creative. Um, yeah, just kind of getting out. I think lots of us spend so much time working and at a computer or a laptop, right. That, yeah, it's just lovely to be outside. 

Teisha Rose: Yeah. Beautiful. And part of the reason, we've connected, we do have a, a similar experience, um, different cancers, but an experience with cancer sort of unexpectedly interrupting our lives. So can you just take us a little bit through of you were diagnosed with cancer and sort of the treatment and what was that part of your life like and when did that happen?

Steph Davies: Yeah, of course. So I was diagnosed Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I was very young, so I was 15, 16. So for me, that was over 20 years ago. I'm 39 now, so very long time ago. But the bit that surprised me was 10 years [00:04:00] post-treatment. So I was in Wales at the time. I'd moved to London. , I had late effects up until kind of 20 years I was still having follow-up appointments just due to the type of treatment. Um, and they said, oh, you should have frozen your eggs and you're probably gonna go into early menopause, kind of around just before age 30. So at that time I was about kind of 26, 27. I didn't have a partner at the time. Freezing your eggs, dating, when do you have the conversation of going, oh, actually I dunno if I can have children. All of this information around, uh, will, will I go into early menopause? No one could really give me any like, concrete answers. And at that time my world was just very different. You know, I'd recently finished uni. I had my first few jobs, just having a great time in London.

And I was going through this with some very close friends who were very supportive, but what I really lack was just someone going, I'm a few steps ahead. I really get this and these are the things that helped me. Mm-hmm. So, um, that was kind of my main [00:05:00] experience. So it's, for me, it's not so much about the kind of going through chemo and treatment because of course we all know that's absolutely horrendous, but there were just so many question marks for me post-treatment and where do I find the answers? Who do I have conversations with? Um, yeah. And thankfully there's a lot more post kind of cancer support out there now. But yeah, the bit for me was going, oh, I just love someone who's already been there similar age, doesn't have to be the same cancer, but can just say, you know, this is what helped and this is what didn't.

Teisha Rose: Yeah. So what got you through that then, you know, in your mid twenties, because that's a time of your life Where I was actually living in the UK at, in at 26 in Edinburgh. Um, so you're not Oh, really? Thinking about, you know, freezing eggs or, 

Steph Davies: yeah, yeah, exactly. Um, so I kind of worked through it on my own.

I had therapy that really helped me, uh, kind of come to being okay [00:06:00] with all of this. And then, so my background's in digital marketing working with luxury brands, but I decided to take on a coaching, kind of training program, and that really helped me just figure out like, where am I at? What do I want for my future?

What are my values? Suddenly health got bumped up to the top of the list. He was like, I actually really need to take care of myself because if I do go through early menopause, then actually. Unfortunately, you read lots of awful stories. How can I manage that? How can I navigate that on my own? Mm-hmm. Um, and just really like taking the time to figure out like, what do I want going forward and how can I, how do I have the confidence to put all of that into place?

So I did my coach training, um, with the belief of like, I'd love to pass this on to other people who've had cancer, but just thought, I have no idea how I'm gonna make it happen. So, um. A few years later, I put leaflets around East London, in Northern Forest, which is where I live, and 12 individuals came [00:07:00] together and it was just basically saying, if you've had cancer, should we just meet up for a coffee?

So 12 individuals came together. That was early 2018. And um, we just had a conversation around it. Oh my goodness. I feel very, very similar to this. So that really helped. Um, and kind of three months into that, they said. Do you know what? Let's not talk about cancer anymore. I really wanna feel like I'm moving forward.

So we, mapped out all of those kind of post-cancer challenges and you know, the list is long, isn't it? From identity. Who am I post-treatment? Yeah, what do I want now? What are my values? Fatigue, fear of recurrence, chemo, brain, um, you know, struggles with relationships because those individuals think. Oh, well you're fine now.

So just crack on and go back to life and run around the world and have a great time because you are alive. Like why are you not celebrating? So the list is long. So we mapped out, okay, well what are the ones that coaching can support you with? And we created a six week program. Um, which we've been [00:08:00] running since 2018 and Wow.

I'm not sure how many times we've run it, but we've probably run it about kind of 40, 50 times now. And it got funded by the lottery in the uk. And, um, then COVID of course happened. So yeah, it forced me to take everything online and suddenly we went from just East London to being able to support people across the uk, which was fantastic.

And we went from one group a month, which was 12 a year to 48 very quickly. And then I applied for some more lottery funding. They said, oh, um, instead of a year, why didn't we give you three years of funding so you can kind of really set this up properly? So that was, um a little while ago now, but we're in a very, very different place now with a team of coaches and we have expert sessions, um, and a very, very big community, which just kind of tells us how much this support is needed and just not enough people are talking about the challenges post cancer. 

Teisha Rose: Yeah. But yeah, I've, 

Steph Davies: I've kind of gone on a waffle there. Sorry. [00:09:00] No, no, no, 

Teisha Rose: no, that's good. That's good. So, and your business name, we might as well, we'll get to that and then we'll unpack it a bit. So, um, yeah, so you can look at it because you're right. When I looked at it, there's a huge team, which is incredible, um, for starting out with a small group of people.

And this idea I was looking at and think, wow, big team, big reach. So the name of your, um, business is

Steph Davies: Life After Cancer.

Teisha Rose: Which is Yeah, very. Yeah. On point. That's a good, good name. And and you do have different coaches, so you went and trained as an actual coach, is that right? That's right, yes. Yep. And then, so let's talk about some of these challenges, because I think unless you've lived through a cancer, I.

Some of the challenges are similar. Like I talk, everyone knows, you know, I've got MS as well as cancer, so I get to, you know, compare the both worlds. And I think the, the difference for me with cancer is [00:10:00] your mortality. You know, as soon as you get that diagnosis, whether it's a stage 1, 2, 3, or four. That fear of cancer either coming back or in my case of it already spreading a time of diagnosis, there's nothing quite like that fear. Is that what you experience chatting to people? 

Steph Davies: Yeah. So I'd say fear of recurrence is, is top of the list in terms of, 

yeah. 

Uh, one of the biggest challenges, and of course you do meet people who think, oh, that's so interesting 'cause it doesn't even cross my mind. Oh, okay. But the majority of people. I find it such a challenge.

And also, um, it's something unfortunately that is just, I think, with us forever, you know, and it's, uh, because like you said earlier, once you've lived with it, once you know that feeling and you'll do quite a lot to ensure that you don't go anywhere near that again if you can control it, right? Like, how do I take care of my health?

It's like, what can I do to make sure I'm exercising or eating well? What. [00:11:00] Focusing on what is in control rather than what's outside of it, like you spoke about earlier. Um, so yeah, it really is, it is top of the list and I think it's really important to say that not, it's not one size fits all for any of this, right?

It's a case of trying things. What works for you? Keep with that until, you know, one day it doesn't. Like for myself, 20 plus years on, I, I had Hodgkin's lymphoma in my neck and chest, in my lymph nodes. So if I. I don't get tonsillitis, but you know, if you've got a sore throat and you think, oh, my lymph nodes are up, it, it really kind of triggers you to think, oh goodness, hopefully this will go down in the next kind of seven to 10 days.

Otherwise I need to go and have a little chat with the GP and Dr. Lizzo Ryden, um, the breast cancer surgeon who had breast cancer, she. I love what she says because she says, oh, if it takes up headspace for you, it should take up headspace for your gp. You know, because then it, it becomes someone else's responsibility, doesn't it?

Like you don't [00:12:00] have to keep it. 

Teisha Rose: Yeah. 

Steph Davies: All inside you letting it eat you up. 

Teisha Rose: Yeah, absolutely. Because it is that fear and um, I definitely feel it, you know, so if you've got a little bit of pain, you say, oh, is that back in the liver or is that, you know, the cancer are going somewhere and you don't wanna, and then I think, oh, let's not give that thought any energy because I don't wanna attrack that.

Yeah. Yeah. So it is very real, that fear. 

Steph Davies: Yeah, I think a really, um. Good way of doing that. Like you said, you don't wanna entertain it, do you? Mm. Is almost like putting a little note in your diary of, is that still there in 2, 3, 4 weeks? So you can go, okay, I'm gonna park that for two weeks. 

Teisha Rose: That's a good idea.

Steph Davies: And kind of check in with myself so it doesn't, because it can take up so much head space can't it. 

Teisha Rose: Yeah. And so what do you talk about, you know, in terms of that internal narrative? Because you spend a lot of time at night, um, dealing with a diagnosis or if you're really in the hospital or wherever it is, you can't [00:13:00] escape those times by yourself when you are, trying to make sure you've got positive self-talk or you're not, you know, you're not, um, scaring yourself too much.

So what type of things do you work with people around that? 

Steph Davies: I think the umbrella, so not the kind of the, the exact words, the conversations people are having, but it's that most of us aren't very compassionate towards ourself or kind. It's just that we're, we're not taught it from a young age or at all, at any point in our life, no one seems to be just have this with us, that actually it's really tough and it's okay to take time to recover and to do at your own pace, and to take the time to check in with actually, like, what do I need? What do I want, and how can I ensure that I, I give myself five minutes, an hour, whatever it is each day to give that to myself.

I think lots of individuals, we work mainly with women [00:14:00] and that's just, it's not, we haven't chosen to be that way. It's just they're the individuals who come to our support groups. We do have men, but majority women. Mm-hmm. And what I hear is, they play certain roles and they're often giving, and they might be parenting or looking after their own parents or working, but it's, it's constantly giving to another part. And the story that I hear very often is, I was doing this before treatment, and then guess what? There's this big wake up call and I'm not doing that anymore. I have to make sure that I'm prioritizing myself and filling my own bucket.

And some people don't even know. What they need because they've never had the chance to even ask themselves that question. So for me it, it's, the answer is compassion. It's being kind of to ourself, you know, kind self-talk, being gentle with ourselves. How would you speak to a really good friend if they [00:15:00] had that conversation with you?

Probably not the way you speak to yourself, that's for sure. I think we're all like, come on, let's just like get back to it. People rush back to work. They rush back to the roles and we're not able to do that. We're not able just to slot back into the life that we had before. It takes time. Um, someone said to me in a workshop once their surgeon said to them, take the same time as you had for treatment, for recovery.

Wow. And I just think that, yeah. And it just, that makes so much sense. Right. When you say it like, you like Absolutely. But just a medical professional to give a patient, permission to say, do you know what? Take a whole year to recover or take six months, whatever it is, or more if you want, rather than this idea of like, you finished treatment, well next month going back to work and everything's gonna be rosy and back to how it was, it, it is just not the reality. 

Teisha Rose: No. And you feel different. Do you find lots of people you feel like, okay, I'm back to work, but I feel different. You know, I'm sitting in front of the computer and think it just [00:16:00] doesn't feel the same. And I went through that with MS. I remember sitting after spending months in hospital, sitting there thinking, is this worth getting sick for?

Um, sitting in and thinking, no, it's not. And then I, that's when I went off to Edinburgh that I thought, no, I'm gonna go travel and do things. It really changes your perspective. 

Steph Davies: Yeah, exactly. That's a really good question, isn't it? To ask yourself, is this worth getting sick over or stressed over, or losing sleep over?

Um, yeah, I think there's, there's two parts aren't, isn't there to the work, but it's one, you are different. So maybe you don't have the same energy levels. Maybe you're struggling with chemo brain, you think, actually my brain's just like not as quick as it was, and it will be, but right now it's not. And then you've got these like into this internal dialogue of like, oh gosh, anyone's noticing and I'm gonna lose my job, or they're not gonna promote me.

Then you've got the return to work. Like are they being flexible? Are they going, okay, [00:17:00] we'll take your time. Or are they going great? One week you're gonna do three days, and then the next you're gonna do three and a half. And by the end of the month you're back to full time anyway and you can't change your mind.

And then the other bit is lots of people probably didn't like their job in the first place thinking, oh gosh, I didn't wanna do it before. I definitely don't wanna do it now. Um, and how can I go back to work? And someone's like, moaning about the photocopier when I just had cancer. Like you just. Yeah, can't take that in.

And lots of people want more meaning and more purpose in their day to day. And for lots of people, work doesn't give that to them. So I see lots of people think like, I just wanna do my own thing. I wanna give back. I wanna feel like I'm part of something. I wanna feel like if I leave or when I leave, I've, I've left an impact.

I've left like a print. I wanna make change, you know? And it doesn't have to be huge, but I want to leave something behind. 

Teisha Rose: Yeah, it does. It just gives you such a, a different perspective. Um, and what [00:18:00] about then body image? I mean, I'm, I'm sitting here now flat chested, you know, after cancer means, meant two single mastectomies.

And so it, it's brutal. You know, it's just. Brutal what cancer, um, does to your body and what you have to do to get rid of it. So that, has, you find that has an impact on a lot of people as well, even medication and putting on weight? Yeah. 

Steph Davies: Yeah, it really does. And it comes factor to identity again, doesn't it?

Yeah. Just who am I? And there's often this search of, um. I think we just think we'll be the person that we were before. Um, and then that's where the kind of comparison, the comparison is the thief of joy. We can't help but compare ourselves like, well my body looked like this before. My body could do this before.

And we're often in that mindset of, of lacking rather than, I'm not saying we run around and make sure we're grateful for everything. [00:19:00] But I think when we do write down a couple of things we're grateful for, it can really just help how we feel about everything. 

Teisha Rose: Yeah. Yeah. And you shift the focus, and that's what I say to people.

You write down everything you hate about having cancer, and then you write down a list of what still you are grateful for in that journey and who supported you and what have you discovered That energy, when you look at the two lists is so different. 

Steph Davies: Yeah. Yeah. And I think it takes a little while to get to that point as well of actually what has it given me?

Well, actually I'm far more resilient than I even realized I was. Um, and for some of these pe for some people, like these words might be a little bit triggering as well. You know, I know some people don't like hearing it. Um, well actually it's made me stop and think maybe I wasn't living life the way that I wanted to, and this has kind of given me a bit of a chance to like stop just readdress everything and think, well [00:20:00] actually, if I've got like another chance at this, then what do I want the next 10, 20, 30, years to look like?

Probably not how I was living it before. Maybe it is maybe you know and that's fantastic. Yeah. But for most of the people we speak with. They wanna just change things up a little bit and they're not these huge, big goals. I think when we think of the word goals, oh, I wanna make a house and a better job. It's going actually, I just want like internal peace.

I just wanna have a cup of coffee in the garden for 10 minutes each day. I wanna go for a walk around the block with a friend and before like I just didn't have capacity. Or like you said, I just love to be out in nature more and that's really healing for me. So how do I make sure I can include that in my day.

Yeah. And again, when you say those things out loud, it just, it sounds like, well, these things should be like the bare minimum of what we're giving ourself, but for, and maybe it's because we work in London as well, but for many people are just working, working and working, and they don't manage to lift their head and think that's what I wanna be doing. 

Teisha Rose: Yeah. And I think you are, you're on automatic pilot until [00:21:00] a big diagnosis and that's the gift of a diagnosis. And I say that not to be cringey in terms of a course. You know, life would've been great if I didn't, but you know, I wasn't diagnosed. Yeah, of course. Stage four cancer.

Yeah. But if we use that as a gift to shake things up and really, okay, what do I want out of life? And make some changes. And I think it actually gives you permission to be different as well. Yeah. Because it's like, yeah, I'm gonna move off the grid and live on a hundred acres because I've got cancer. You know, I can do this.

And it's like, because I know what I want out of life now. So sometimes it does give you permission to be a little bit freer and take a few more risks in life. Because you've seen the flip side. 

Steph Davies: Yeah, absolutely. I completely agree. 

Teisha Rose: Yeah. So, no, it's amazing you're doing that work and how, how do you feel, you know, when you are meeting with others and seeing the impact your coaching and the [00:22:00] groups are having on individuals, like how, how does that make you feel?

Steph Davies: Um, I think people say, oh, it is such rewarding work, isn't it? Maybe you get used to it. I don't know. I, I'm really ungrateful now, don't I? Um, I mean, I, what, I feel, I feel very grateful that I get to work with these individuals because I think someone told me about some research once, I've not actually read it myself, but when people have had cancer, they just are better kind of people.

Yeah. Um, and I just every individual that I work with is just. So lovely and is, they're just like a joy to work with and to see in our program, our six week program, to see those individuals move forward, to get the feedback that we get, that actually it's making an impact. Um, like a lady emailed the other day about.

She'd attended two of our sessions, one on mindset and one on self-compassion. And she just said, she's like stuck in this mindset for so [00:23:00] long. And although she knew she had an awareness of it, she just couldn't get out of it. And attending through these two sessions, she's like, I feel like I'm back on track now.

And we all know that I feeling right when you just like, I know this isn't where I wanna be. I just can't manage to get myself out of it. Yeah. And it's, it, it's horrible, isn't it? So. It is those little changes. And also we have a very, very active community on WhatsApp and they all just support each other and it's really lovely watching that happen as well.

Kind of passing the baton back and forth, you know, it like, oh, this helped me and this didn't, and someone new comes into the group and you've kind of got people who've been in there for a couple of years saying you should go to this and, uh, attend. This is gonna be really supportive. So, yeah, I mean it's fantastic.

There's lots more work to do, you know, but, I feel very grateful to be doing the work. 

Teisha Rose: Yeah. But it's also the space you've created because you can find some support groups coming together because their attitude. They [00:24:00] share an attitude which isn't uplifting, you know, which is really being defined by the cancer or the illness.

Really being stuck and really being in that space of life isn't fair. And that's reality of some groups, you know? So for you to create that space where people are wanting to support each other to move forward, then that's a really special space. 

Steph Davies: Yeah, and all I want, if there's one thing, it's hope, it's that you're gonna be all right.

You know? And I can give you the evidence because there's a huge group of people here who were in your position X amount of months ago and look at them now. Because I think when you've got that, you've got a little bit of a, um, you've just got a little bit of a thread to follow, haven't you? It's like, okay, this is good.

I'm in a space where people are having the right conversations, um, that they're putting the energy, they're putting the time into, kind of figure out and move [00:25:00] forward. Which like you said, of course we all like to talk. We, it is good to kind of get it out and get it off our chest. I think there's a point, isn't there, where we're like, okay, well actually we do have to roll our sleeves up and do a little bit of work to make sure that we are getting ourselves to where we wanna be. And that does require work. You know, it's not gonna happen on its own. 

Teisha Rose: No, no, not at all. And it's to the detriment of ourselves. And because we've both lived it, we can say that to people like you you can stay in that space of it not being fair, but that is to the detriment of yourself, you know?

Yeah, exactly. And of course everyone around you, but it's in your best interest to try and discover ways to move forward. 

Steph Davies: Yeah. Yeah. And that's why asking the questions of, you know, who are you and where do you want to be in whatever the timeframe it could be for you. Just where do you wanna be in a week, or where do you wanna be in a year?

Pick a timeframe that individual's comfortable with. And then it's about going, okay, well what do we need to do in order to get there? So no one's saying, well, no, you need to be. [00:26:00] You know, you need to have a better mindset and you need to not be kind of in the weeds with this. It's like, if you are fine there.

Absolutely. Yeah. If it's not serving you, if those conversations in your head are not serving you and they're not making you feel great, then let's have a little conversation about, you know, how you, how do you wanna feel, what conversations do you wanna be having with yourself? What one thing could you do this week to take you just a little bit closer to that?

When we say actions make it so small that you can't say no to it. 'cause I know no one wants a big, old long list of things to do and then we don't do it. We never feel great about that, do we? You know, but what's one small thing you could do this week to take you closer to where you wanna be? 

Teisha Rose: Yeah. No, that's great.

And that's right because then it just starts some momentum, doesn't it?

Steph Davies: Yeah. And you wanna, you wanna build evidence that you can do it as well. Yeah. So if we keep it small, and then we have, okay, well actually I did those three things. Maybe I can do another three things. 

Teisha Rose: No, that's really good. So if someone's listening and they've just finished treatment, so [00:27:00] they've been, because that keeps you going.

If you know, each week you need to go in for a treatment or, and I haven't had to have chemo or anything for my cancer. Um, but you know, that's brutal. So you somehow get through that and then it stops. So if someone's at that point, what type of things are you saying to them at that moment? To sort of yeah readjust to life post-treatment, because I'm assuming that's a time where your mental health is yeah at , a weak point, I guess. 

Steph Davies: So. I think the first is to know that, or one, just take a minute to land. Yeah. And kind of check in with yourself. Give your si give yourself time to, to rest, recover, whatever that looks like for you.

Um. Ask yourself what you need. I think lots of people don't do that. Like, okay, well if I could do one thing for myself today, what? What would that be? If it gave me joy? Gave me a little bit of energy. What is that? And [00:28:00] again, don't make it too big cup of coffee outside. I'm gonna read a page of my book. Or I'm just gonna watch something on Netflix. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. But like just to check in. What do I need today? Don't worry about tomorrow, don't worry about next week. And the other thing is like to know that whatever you're feeling, you're very much not alone. And there's lots of other people feeling this way.

The biggest piece, the impact that I see in our community is the relief in groups are going, oh my goodness, I'm not the only one feeling this way. I thought I was losing my mind because I thought. Why am I not happy that I've just finished treatment running around the world, having a great time when that's what we're told to do, but to know that actually others are finding it quite challenging too, and others still have lingering side effects.

And you know, we've got people in our group who've been, they're, they're five years post treatment. So I'm not talking six months, 12 months, you know. Oh, actually maybe I got my head down post-treatment and I just kind of cracked [00:29:00] on and I lifted it two, three years later and thought, oh, actually I probably should have like addressed this.

Teisha Rose: Yeah. 

Steph Davies: Um, so yeah, wherever you're at, wherever you're feeling it'll be completely normal. And to know that other people are feeling very, very similar and I think just finding someone who gets it is key. 

Teisha Rose: Yep. And then if someone's supporting, because it's, it's hard for those around us as well. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

So what do you say to those supporting someone who's just stopped treatment or even, you know, what can their role be 

Steph Davies: to know that it's not the end, it's very much the beginning of the next chapter, whatever you wanna call it. Mm-hmm. Um, and just to keep checking in with that individual. What do they need?

They, they probably don't even know, but just to remind them that they are there, and you might keep asking the question, just, you know, it's gonna be a little bit annoying, but I want to ensure that, you know, I am here. Yeah. And whenever you do figure it out, I'm here to chat through it and [00:30:00] to not have any judgment or don't feel like you've gotta provide any answers, just to help that person chat it through and to process what's going on for them.

Um, I often compare it to people who, uh, haven't had cancer. It reminds me of, , in the UK we'll have, if someone passes close to you, you'll have the funeral about two weeks after. Mm-hmm. And once the funerals happened, it's very much, everyone's like, okay, well the funeral's been there, so everyone goes back to the day-to-day lives.

Right. And you're like, oh, this is the hard bit. 'cause it's for those two weeks, you've got people around the house who always come to see you bringing food and gifts and texting you. And after that it dwindles, doesn't it? Yeah. But you need a handful of people for that next year just to keep messaging, just to keep checking.

Like, how are you Yeah, 

Teisha Rose: that's 

Steph Davies: so true. I'm gonna, if you don't reply, if you don't wanna, but I'm gonna keep checking in with you. 

Teisha Rose: Yeah, yeah. And I think even just a, a love heart emoji, you know, or something like that. Yeah. You just know someone's there. It doesn't have to be [00:31:00] a big conversation or anything.

It's just like, yep. I, I know they're thinking of me, you know? And that Yeah, a hundred percent. 

Steph Davies: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I completely agree. Yeah. And then it doesn't feel like, uh, everyone's forgotten about you. Yeah, 

Teisha Rose: yeah, yeah. Because it is, it is tough and it's so tough on everyone. Um, but yeah, I love, I love the community in that sense of what you're creating because that is so important.

'cause you do feel very alone, uh, because you know no one else around you. Is going through what you are going through .

If people wanting to connect with you or, to connect with Life after Cancer.

So they're, um, I'm assuming those groups are UK based, is that right?

Steph Davies: Yeah. But we have people from all over the world joining who are more than welcome to join. Yeah. So we have, um, we have the traditional support group where at the moment we had no agenda for a little bit of time, but we've started introducing like a topic such as, um, [00:32:00] fertility or menopause, or maybe it's just for people who just, just finished cancer treatment. And then we'll have a guiding question, which kind of just helps shape it a little bit. So we'll have a conversation around the topic. We'll pop people into breakout rooms and then we'll, if they want to, they can kind of use that guiding question to chat with each other about what comes up from it.

Um, we have an expert session, so someone might come in and talk about fear of recurrence, exercise, nutrition, menopause. Um. Like trauma after cancer. Yeah. Um, self-compassion, anything and everything. And that will be from someone who probably has a PhD in that area. So they come in and talk and it's about understanding it and it's about how you manage it.

So they've all got, always got things to take away. We have coaching workshops where we might like your identity. Um, okay, well let's like shape a year ahead looking at your values, looking at your energy post cancer, how can you manage that a little bit better? And then we've got our six week coaching [00:33:00] program, which is a really small group of 12 people, and we kind of take you on a little bit of a journey around who are you now, what do you want, what the stories that you tell yourself.

A little bit of mindfulness, meditation, looking at internal dialogue. Um, and then from January, we're gonna have, for people who are a little bit further along, we're gonna have a group coaching session for accountability. So at the start of the year, we're gonna kind of shape the year ahead and then we'll hold each other accountable at the end of each month.

And then we've got our first retreat in Malaga in January, which I'm really looking forward to as well. 

Teisha Rose: Wow, that's so much there. So we'll put the, website on the, in the show notes, um, for sure. And, share it on socials as well. But to give everyone the website

Steph Davies: it's life-aftercancer.co.uk.

Teisha Rose: Okay, great. Yeah, and definitely have a look. I had a look on the site and there's different blogs on there and there's different information, so it, it's fantastic. Um, and yeah, I'm really glad we've [00:34:00] connected Steph, because I think what you're doing in this space is so important because living with cancer is uh, like a, a journey like no other I've been on. But knowing that there is hope and you are, you're on the right podcast, because I am all about hope and providing that light and hope to people is so important when they're going through those really dark moments. So, yeah. So from someone with cancer, thank you so much for all you're doing in this space.

Steph Davies: Oh, thank you so much for having me. I'm really grateful. Thank you for your time. 

Speaker: Okay, so I hope you enjoyed that chat. Sorry it's getting very windy, but the elements of Daisy Hill. But I do, I really hope you enjoyed that chat with Steph. Steph's website. Everything will be in the show notes, but life-aftercancer.co.uk if you're living with cancer, if you're struggling post-treatment, I really encourage you to become part of Steph's world there at Life After Cancer.

It's such a great [00:35:00] organization and having such a real impact, again, an organization based on lived experience, which I love. Other than that, I hope you have a great week. Do a couple of things. I'd like to ask if you can help me grow The Hurdle2Hope® Show please share this and other episodes, um, with people you think will benefit, benefit from it. Also if you haven't downloaded, the free mini course, the Reset Your Mindset in Nature, this is nature. My hair's everywhere. Um, but visit Hurdle2Hope®. Remember, Hurdle2Hope® with the number 2 hurdle2hope.com/elements.

This is exactly how I have healed on this beautiful land at Daisy Hill through the elements.

And I should also actually say, are you following us on Instagram? Please do it's @hurdle2hope, and we'll put some more updates on there. Also [00:36:00] subscribe on the YouTube channel @hurdle2hope enough plugs there. So have a great week and I look forward to chatting to you really soon. 

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Teisha Rose

Host