Season 3 Episode 2: Boundaries Before Body Breakdown

In the previous episode of The Hurdle2Hope® Show, I shared how a sudden health crisis led to eight days in ICU after my body went into septic shock. 

In this episode, I reflect on what happened before the crisis and one of the most confronting lessons that became clear while recovering in hospital. 

Leading up to my hospitalisation, I was dealing with a difficult personal situation and a significant amount of stress. At the time I believed I was coping. I was sleeping, meditating and trying to manage everything calmly. 

But what I did not realise was that my body was absorbing that stress in ways I could not see. 

During this time my body was already dealing with extreme inflammation in my bowel, something I had no idea about until I was hospitalised. 

Looking back now, the lesson is very clear. 

Boundaries are not just about relationships.
They are about protecting your health. 

In this episode I talk about: 

• The stress that was building before the crisis 
• The illusion of coping when your body is under pressure 
• How emotional stress can impact the body physically 
• Why strong boundaries are essential for protecting your wellbeing 
• The moment I realised the consequences of not prioritising my health 
• Why boundaries become even more important when living with chronic illness 

One of the hardest reflections from my ICU experience was realising that when your health collapses, you are the one who lives with the consequences. 

This episode is part of my series Health Crisis in Real Time, where I share the lessons I am learning while still recovering from a sudden and life-threatening health crisis. 

If you live with chronic illness, are navigating high stress, or find it difficult to prioritise your own wellbeing, I hope this conversation offers perspective and encouragement. 

Learn more about Teisha’s work supporting women living with chronic illness:
https://TeishaRose.com 

Follow Hurdle2Hope: 

Instagram: @Hurdle2Hope
Facebook: Hurdle2Hope 

 If you’re feeling overwhelmed by a health challenge, download the free guide here:

 https://teisharose.com/overwhelmed/

If you’re ready for more support, explore the Thriving Through Chronic Illness course and one-on-one coaching here:

 https://teisharose.com/thriving

Unexpected hurdles interrupt all of our lives. It is how you respond that will define your experience.

To find out how Hurdle2Hope can support you or your organisation please visit hurdle2hope.com. 

I would love to connect with you, Teisha.

Also, are you following @hurdle2hope on social media... I would love to see you there!

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Transcript

Teisha Rose: [00:00:00] Hey there, Teisha here and welcome to season three Health Crisis in Real Time, episode two, of The Hurdle2Hope® Show. And yeah, thank you so much for everyone who's reached out and watched last week's or listened to last week's episode where I shared all about what's been happening to me over the last, um, few weeks and why I ended up in ICU for a whole eight days. If you haven't listened or watched that episode, so it's on YouTube on any of your favorite podcasting apps or platforms, have a listen now, um, because that will really set the scene for what we are then talking about today.

Um, and yeah, it'll just give you a little bit insight into what's happened and then come back, um, and join us. For those of you who are still here, episode two, I've called Boundaries Before Body Breakdown and what I wanna share is what [00:01:00] happened leading up to me ending up in ICU.

I'm not gonna give heaps of personal details, but what I'll do is share, you know, the impact of what happened. And in reflecting on that. All it came down to really was my inability to have strong boundaries around my wellbeing, and this is such an important topic. It's something I talk about with my coaching clients who are living with chronic illness, but it's just important for those of us, or I live with chronic illness.

Um, I was gonna say those of us who don't live with chronic illness, but it's just as important for anyone listening if you're feeling really healthy at the moment, and you know, we don't know what's underneath the surface. And I didn't know leading up, um, to my ICU admission, I had no idea that I had so much inflammation in my body.

No idea. I was dealing with some type [00:02:00] of, bowel disease. So it's so important to protect our wellbeing, and one way to do that is to have very strong and clear boundaries, to not be afraid of prioritizing our wellbeing. So that's some of what we're gonna talk about today as this is one of the lessons I learnt, um, in reflecting on the past four weeks.

Teisha Rose: Okay, so there was a lot of stress, in my life leading a little bit leading up to Christmas. There's a few issues with the, um, the build and all at Daisy Hill. If you don't know, we're living on a hundred acres of land off the grid at Daisy Hill and a few hiccups along the way. But, I was getting through that and that was okay.

Then post Christmas. [00:03:00] Uh, it's really tricky when you share a lot of your life, and I'm more than happy to be very open in relation to what's happening to me. But, I'm very aware too, um, that with some personal relationships, I don't wanna give all of those details away. Upfront. This is not in anything in relation to my relationship with my amazing partner, Andrew, but there was some absolute tension with, um, some relationships of those very close to us, and it was such a difficult period.

And the details don't really matter. It's the impact that had on my body. And it's one of those situations where I'm sure you find yourself in as well, where you're trying to manage and keep everyone happy. You're trying to keep things calm, you're trying to do the right thing for everyone.

And if you are a [00:04:00] bit of an empath like me, you absorb, the tension and everything around you.

You are wanting to make sure that everyone's needs are met and you often prioritize those needs and keep the peace for everyone, again at the expense of your own wellbeing.

And you worry so much about everyone else and you try and not play out, the different scenarios if things don't go well. And it's really hard to detach emotionally. And I think there becomes this illusion of coping, I thought, okay, um, sleeping okay. I wasn't eating okay my stomach was a mess and I was finding it harder and harder, to, digest food. Back and forth a bit, um, to the bathroom, a lot of reflux and all and I thought, okay, my stomach's just a little bit upset, so I [00:05:00] better switch off a bit emotionally.

I better, you know, meditate a little bit more and try and, get rest. And I, I was sleeping, so I think, okay, this is under control. This is okay.

What I didn't realize is those physical symptoms were my body trying to tell me, no, you are not coping. If you keep the situation as is, if you keep trying to keep everyone else happy, your body is going to break down. Because what I really didn't realize is that although you think emotionally you're coping, you know, your body absorbs all of this tension and sometimes it's impossible to stop that.

You know, you can say stop stressing. You can say stop worrying and you can switch your mind off a bit, but your body, it's really hard to [00:06:00] stop it from taking on that stress and the lesson for all of us in what's I've experienced is we don't know what underlying health conditions we have.

And that's not to scare us, but I was thinking, okay, especially after, before Christmas. Okay, I'm a bit stressed about this, but hey my cancer's in remission. Great. This stress isn't leading to more cancer. Um, so that's good. I'm thinking, okay, I'm walking okay. You know, my MS is okay. Struggling a bit, but doing okay.

But little did I know that the inflammation in my body was increasing at a rapid rate. I had no idea that this wasn't just a little bit of upset stomach. I had no idea that this in the end, you know, there was so much inflammation that I was passing blood, that the lining of my colon was being passed as well.

No idea.

[00:07:00] So this is a reminder of this for us all, that stress yes it can be a mind thing that you're trying to switch off your mind. But it's the physical, and that's what I really, really wanna hone in on with this. 

This is what's really helped me in terms of thinking about boundaries during this whole time. 'cause I've had a lot of time to reflect.

So I started thinking about and visualizing, the boundary around me and thinking, you know, that boundary is there to protect my physical wellbeing, my emotional wellbeing, and my mental health. And that boundary needs a gatekeeper. And sometimes I'm not that strong gatekeeper. So that boundary, I need to have a gatekeeper on that line around me, and that gate gatekeeper needs to be stronger than what I am sometimes and say, okay, I'm the gatekeeper of your physical health, of your, you know, emotional wellbeing.

And [00:08:00] sometimes that keeper says, say no, piss off. You can't come in. You are not good for my health. And sometimes that's really, really hard to say.

But we've gotta remember when we're living with a chronic illness, and again, even if you are not. That protecting your nervous system from absorbing that stress, that's your priority. You know, protecting your energy and not giving it away to others and others who don't, don't appreciate it. Because the reality is the consequences of not having that gatekeeper.

Again, I physically am now thinking of a, you know, a little person in that boundary around me opening and shutting the gate because the reality is when your health collapses, the consequences of yours. I'm lying in a hospital bed for four weeks. I'm there by myself when I'm being, you know, the, the machines are going off at night when [00:09:00] my blood pressure drops to 66 over 50.

When I'm thinking my body's shutting down, I'm there by myself. And that's not, not saying I don't have an amazing sports system, but in those early hours of the morning, that's where me, me alone, the personal people who have come into your gate and have not. Um, you know, who have got through your boundaries.

They're not there. They're probably not even thinking about you or worrying about you even being in ICU.

And I promise you when you are in ICU and thinking, was this worth getting so sick for because you don't wanna let people down and it's not, and that you don't wanna hurt people's feelings, or you wanna keep the peace or you don't want to, um, challenge people or call out bad, bad, bad behavior. And it's not, it's not worth getting sick for.

And that's what we've gotta [00:10:00] keep in mind. Our health is paramount because without our health, we have nothing. We can't do anything. We can't be there for the those that we want to be there for.

So. Yeah, I'm, I'm keeping these episodes short because I don't have much energy, but I really want you to start reflecting on your boundaries as well. 'cause as I said, this is like one of the number one things people talk to me about. It's so important to have strong boundaries, but we only can do that if we are not worried about other people's reactions and we are confident that our, um, wellbeing, it's okay to prioritize that.

So, yeah, just start reflecting on that boundaries aren't optional, that there's something that you have to become better at doing, and you can practice that and have those conversations. I, I talk to myself a lot in the hospital room, um, and, you [00:11:00] know, have those conversations and become more and more confident about setting those boundaries and working out what those boundaries are for you.

And keep reminding yourself that these boundaries are absolutely critical for preserving your wellbeing. If you're feeling great, great. Keep feeling great. If you're not feeling great, even more important, reflect on why you're not feeling so good and are some things you are doing that you shouldn't be doing because they're not honoring your wellbeing.

And then keep reminding yourself if you are ignoring your limits and what is possible within the week or the day, if you are ignoring that. It's our bodies that pay the price. And keep reminding yourself if you don't have a gatekeeper to say, yes, you can come in.

No, you can't come in. These are the type of, you know, um, behaviors that are acceptable or not acceptable if that gatekeeper's not working in that boundary around you. [00:12:00] Your health will suffer. And we don't know, for me, I could have died.

And there was another nurse actually had a similar situation to me and she shared this was a night shift nurse and we're talking about four o'clock at night and she also had colitis and she said, you know, I'd had this condition, I didn't know, but this really horrible, situation happened and the stress.

Caused it to come on. And that's the consequence of something she has to manage now years later. So boundaries are so important because once someone gets through and your health is not being prioritized, we just dunno what the consequence is. And for me, I could have died.

And that is making me a lot stronger in terms of having these boundaries really, really firm. But I hope you don't have to go [00:13:00] through this situation, and I hope this is a reminder to you as well, to absolutely have strong boundaries.

A nice quick episode. As I said, boundary, I have to, um, honor my limited energy, but yeah, and I'm sorry it's getting dark outside, so I think I'm getting a bit, um, a bit blurry if you're watching on YouTube. Again thank you so much for all the support I've been receiving. I really appreciate it. Follow me @hurdle2hope on Instagram, also @Hurdle2Hope or Hurdle2Hope page on Facebook. Also if you're living with a chronic illness, visit TeishaRose.com and I'm really getting into, um, yeah, a whole heap more in relation to chronic illness coaching because I've become even more passionate about it because Woo learned a lot over the last month. Look forward to chatting to you really soon. And I'm sorry I'm looking at myself on the screen and very blurry, [00:14:00] but hopefully you can see me. Okay, bye.