Season 3 Episode 3: Inner Work Is Not Optional

What actually gets you through a crisis? 

In this episode, I share my experience of being in ICU for eight days after my body went into septic shock, and why the work you do on yourself before a crisis is what carries you through. 

When I was lying in that hospital bed, I wasn’t building strength in that moment. 

I was drawing on everything I had already built. 

This episode explores: 

• Why inner work is not optional 
• How MS and stage 4 cancer prepared me for this experience 
• The difference between fear and being overwhelmed by it 
• How your response shapes your experience in crisis 
• The role of spirituality, connection, and support 
• Why you can’t wait until things fall apart to start working on yourself 

This conversation is relevant whether you live with a chronic illness or not. 

Because none of us know when life will change. 

🎙️ Referenced in this episode:
Reiki and its Benefits for People with Health Conditions (Episode 41)
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2291961/episodes/15920561 

💻 Explore support:
If you’re ready to build your resilience and not just cope:
https://teisharose.com/thriving 

📲 Connect: 
Instagram: @hurdle2hope 
Facebook: Hurdle2Hope 

If this episode resonated, follow the podcast and share it with someone who needs to hear it. 

 If you’re feeling overwhelmed by a health challenge, download the free guide here:

 https://teisharose.com/overwhelmed/

If you’re ready for more support, explore the Thriving Through Chronic Illness course and one-on-one coaching here:

 https://teisharose.com/thriving

Unexpected hurdles interrupt all of our lives. It is how you respond that will define your experience.

To find out how Hurdle2Hope can support you or your organisation please visit hurdle2hope.com. 

I would love to connect with you, Teisha.

Also, are you following @hurdle2hope on social media... I would love to see you there!

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Transcript

Season 3 Episode 3: Inner Work Is Not Optional 

Teisha Rose: [00:00:00] Hey there, Teisha here and welcome to episode three of season three of the Hurdle2Hope® Show. If you've been following along, thank you very much. If not, I've been sharing what's happened to me, in 2026, which as I share in episode one was a experience of my body shutting down and being in ICU intensive care for eight days and then even longer in hospital.

So have a listen to episode one and then episode two, which I share what led up to this really scary experience and I'd share the importance of boundaries for all of us. But today, um, I'm really focusing on the experience inside those walls, I guess, of ICU. And that's in relation to how important it is to focus on inner work in your life.

I'll go on to what that [00:01:00] means. Um, but when your life is interrupted, when you find yourself in something like intensive care, all the work you've done on yourself previously, that's what gets you through emotionally, mentally, and even physically.

So whether you live with chronic illness or not, we don't know when life will change and working on ourselves. It's not optional because when we are in it, we don't have time to reflect and do that work.

So if you are thinking, you know, how would I cope in a situation like I've been through? Listen to this episode and I really hope you get lots out of it.

So what I really do believe is the only reason I got through the absolute darkness of eight days in ICU and [00:02:00] then, you know, the following few weeks in hospital was because the work I've already done. So it's not like all of a sudden, you know, when people talk about, you're so resilient, you're really strong.

I do own that. Now I know I am resilient and strong, but that doesn't happen in the crisis. That's what you draw upon. So you draw upon all the work you've already done on yourself. And for me, I always say I don't celebrate having MS and dealing with a stage four breast cancer diagnosis. But what it's done is being an amazing teacher.

And having had to deal with, especially the really aggressive MS relapses early on and, and the absolute fear I experienced in being diagnosed with stage four breast cancer to start with, that doesn't mean I'm not fearful or emotional or scared in ICU.

But it [00:03:00] changes how you deal with that fear.

So in terms of ms, that's helped me deal with unpredictability, MS especially early on, I'd all of a sudden wake up and not be able to feel a leg or not be able to walk, or not be able to see properly or not be able to use my hands. So. Uncertainty was such a part of my life and loss of control.

You know, I couldn't control sometimes when I was lying in a hospital being unable to riggle my toes no matter how much I tried, I had to stay present. I learned I couldn't let my mind race ahead. I learned with MS how to really listen to my body to know and be confident when my body didn't feel right and be aware of what symptoms I had to, I guess, be on top of.

I knew, you know, getting through some of these moments I had to be really mentally strong 'cause you [00:04:00] are lining the hospital bed and especially the loss of depen, um, independence. That's what I found really, really difficult with ms. You know, lying in a bed unable to move and having to use a bed pan or being wheeled to a shower.

And so having bowel problems meant straight away, I couldn't, um, be worried about being dependent on others, for toileting or anything like that. I knew it would. Hopefully pass. Um, and I wouldn't have to rely on that all the time, but I just let go of being angry or embarrassed about that. And then cancer

cancer's taught me to face my mortality. I've never had this experience of feeling my body shut down. I say, being diagnosed with stage four breast cancer, that's almost. Theoretical, um, I'm trying to think of the word, but it is theoretical. You know, you're told you've got an incurable disease, it's terminal [00:05:00] diagnosis, but I don't choose to use that language,

and I choose to change that narrative, but I know what I've been diagnosed with, so that's always playing in your mind. And the fear. As I've shared before, I've never been so scared when the surgeon called to say, your mastectomy is canceled. The cancer's now in your liver, sternum into the back. Um, so I've never experienced fear like that until I felt my body shutting down, in emergency, in the ICU, um, certain future.

Absolutely. Cancer and ms. Um, have helped me deal with that. And uncertainty was very present in ICU. And a cancer diagnosis really makes you question the meaning of life. And I've been going through that process really for the last 20 years anyway. So having done that and [00:06:00] having worked out what I think my purpose in life is and all has really helped going through this experience as well.

So for me, lying in a hospital bed, you know, being hooked up to all of these machines and been pumped with so much fluid and medication and all what it meant was absolutely, I was scared, but I wasn't overcome and paralyzed with fear. I knew I could have an impact on this experience. Not saying I knew exactly what the outcome was, but I knew that I could have an impact on the experience because I'm a very strong believer that your response will define your experience with whatever you're going through.

So for me that means yes, I was scared, but I wasn't overcome or paralyzed by fear. I felt the emotions. I probably didn't do that well early on with ms, but here I cried a lot. You know, I was scared, as I said I was, [00:07:00] especially after, you know, probably week two there was lots of tears because the enormity of what I've been through hit.

When I heard the doctors talking, I. With ms. When I heard doctors talking sort of about me, that scared me because I was listening and thinking, oh gosh, this is really serious. Even they're not confident. It was different this time. I heard the doctors talking. I thought, good. They're onto it. They've got amazing minds.

I know what they're doing. I wasn't overcome by those conversations. I knew there was nothing in those moments I could do to absolutely fix the situation. I just knew to keep reigning my mind in, um, to not let it spiral,

and I had to have faith. That was what then brings me into part of my inner work has definitely been spiritual work. So I'm not gonna sit here and go through at this stage, everything [00:08:00] I've done spiritually. I'm certainly not going to preach to you, um, because I'm not, you know, I'm not, I would say I'm not religious, but I'm definitely spiritual and that has been a journey I've been on, I guess more intensely over probably the last 15 years or so, really since my last MS. Relapse in 2020, uh, in 2012.

And when you are lying a bed like that. When you are facing your mortality, when you felt your body shut down, even when, you know, going through a stage four breast cancer diagnosis.

For me, having that spiritual layer gives you a sense of connection that you are part of something bigger

and again. What spirituality means for you could be something totally different for me. But this has helped me so much because, [00:09:00] you know, I was laughing to a friend and we were talking about, you know, this has been a trilogy. Instead of sitting there thinking, why me? This is so unfair. It's like, well, I've had.

Experience of chronic illness since I was 22. That's taken me on a very different path to what I thought my life would be. Then a stage four breast cancer, diagnosis. Think why? Why was it so stage four to begin with seems very unfair. And then this experience with my body shutting down, you think why?

And then I thought, no. Maybe this is part of my purpose. Maybe this will help me supporting others more because I've been through so much now. And I don't have to work out why it's happened to me. But I need to then think, okay, how do I channel or that I've learn to a greater purpose.

What being spiritual has taught me is you [00:10:00] can't get through these moments. Logically, I can't logically make sense of how my life has turned out, but that doesn't matter and I don't need to waste energy on that.

Instead, I really need to feel my way through these situations and again, looking for signs around me. And I've shared, you know, one of those bigger signs was that the bowel surgeon who met us in emergency, that he was a registrar under the surgeon who did my mastectomies, who I connected with who was such a beautiful and angelic person.

And even going back to Ms. About 10 plus years ago I had to change neurologists. I was very scared to do that because my neurologist was such a beautiful person. And in that conversation with the new neurologist, he had been a register [00:11:00] under my amazing neurologist who was such a beautiful person who got me through so many dark times and my neurologist specialized in MS because he was inspired by my old neurologist. So I think I'm being looked after here, so looking for some of those signs is so important for me, and focusing on those signs, thinking, okay, I've been held here, I'm being supported. Um, it doesn't matter logically to work out how all that happened, it's just that feeling of support that you are on the right track.

So again, for me, spirituality, it's not an either or for medical or not. It's using that spirituality, following those signs so you do get the right team.

Because I know without that medical care. I wouldn't have got through that time in ICU, but. Without the spiritual support [00:12:00] and the support of my wider network, and I'll talk about that more in another episode, I wouldn't heal at an emotional level, you know, mentally, but also physically it has an impact on that.

I guess my advice to you and why I want to focus on this inner work is you don't want to wait for you to be an absolute crisis before you start working on yourself. That inner work isn't just one thing. It's really looking inwardly and working out what you need to do to build your resilience. And this is what I do in my coaching in in my course, thriving through, um, chronic illness is because, and I talk about it, hope comes from within. Hope and why I was confident I could get through all of this is because I've evolved and grown so much over the years and it's just starting slowly.

For me, it started with a, a retreat. You know, it started with learning how [00:13:00] to meditate. It started learning how to quiet my mind, even going back further. What I hated and was scared of was being alone in hospital, especially at night. It didn't scare me this time because after that fear, I packed up and traveled, um, overseas by myself for a year because I wanted to know that I had the strength within to get through challenges.

for me it's been exploring over the years energy work as well. Um, again, that might be for you, but for me it's been pivotal in dealing with these situations. Uh,

it's then sitting with your emotions, you know, if you are fearful and don't want to cry too much. And that was certainly me early on with Ms. Learning how to sit with those emotions and not thinking, well, I can't do that. I'll spiral into darkness. I won't know how to get myself out of there. Learning how to sit with that and knowing you [00:14:00] can get yourself out of there when you process those emotions is really important.

How you respond to stress. If you are not good at responding to stressful situations, if you aren't clear minded, if you fly off the handle it, however you deal with that, then you need to work on that because you can't be not be able to process stressful situations when you are in a massive crisis.

You know how you deal with uncertainty. If that's something that keeps you up at night, it makes you, again, even more stressed. Then you need to unpack that in terms of, you know, and what I do is bringing yourself into present and not letting your mind race ahead. When I went to that first meditation retreat, the facilitator said, don't imagine every possible catastrophe that may or may not be part of your future.

And I've [00:15:00] held onto that because it's wasted energy. We don't know what the outcome will be. So why imagine everything bad that might happen, not gonna help your body.

So it's really important to be aware of that in a dialogue that's in your head and will be in your head when you're in ICU. You know, I slept really well in ICU because my mind wasn't consumed with all of the what ifs. So there's some of the things that I did to help me and yeah, just reflect on some of that for yourself as well.

Okay. Short episodes again. 'cause I am, I'm still, I'm still very tired. Um, but yeah, this conversation, inner work is so important and I do want you to reflect on it because I wouldn't have got through ICU if it wasn't for all the inner work I've done.

I talk about being in the darkest [00:16:00] place I've ever experienced, and that absolutely is true, and I'm still processing what happened, but I wouldn't have been guided to lightness, I guess, without having done some of this work. So, as I always say, have an open mind.

Don't dismiss things because you don't understand them.

I'll also put a link into the show notes of a interview I did, season one, um, with Leisa Kelly, who's a reiki master. Just if you're, in case you are interested in what I've been talking about spiritually, it was a great conversation I have with Leisa, who I personally know and certainly have turned to, um, during this whole experience.

Again, I'm mentioning my course, thriving with chronic illness. If you are living with a chronic illness, please check out TeishaRose.com/thriving have a look, um, because [00:17:00] this is what I put into practice. Everything I've learn in living with MS and cancer, I then applied as I mentioned to dealing with this situation. Everything in that course worked. Um, so that is my resilience. That's my hope of getting through these periods.

If you have any questions, please reach out. I'm on socials on Instagram @Hurdle2Hope. Hurdle2Hope with a number two. Uh, also on Facebook.

So thank you again. Hope all is going well in your world and we'll chat again next episode. 

​[00:18:00]