Season 3 Episode 5: Not All Support Helps in a Health Crisis

You don’t get through something like ICU on your own. 

But one of the biggest things I’ve reflected on since coming out of hospital… is that not all support actually helps. 

In this episode, I share what truly supported me during and after my time in ICU, and why having the right support system can make all the difference to your healing. 

This episode explores: 

• Why you don’t want to wait until crisis to understand your support system 
• The difference between helpful and unhelpful support 
• The role of emotional safety in healing 
• How to recognise support that energises vs drains you 
• Why trust in your medical team matters 
• The importance of support beyond just the physical 

This conversation is relevant whether you’re living with a health condition or supporting someone who is. 

Because support isn’t just about who is around you… It’s about what actually helps you heal. 

🎙️ Referenced in this series:
Episode 1 – What happened (ICU + health crisis)
Episode 2 – What led to it (stress + boundaries)
Episode 3 – Inner work and resilience
Episode 4 – Processing what happens after crisis 

💻 FREE Guide 
If you’re currently dealing with a health challenge and feeling overwhelmed, this is a simple place to start. 

When Health Challenges Feel Overwhelming 
Four mindset shifts to help you stay calm and clear in difficult moments. 

Download it here:
https://teisharose.com/overwhelmed 

📲 Connect: 
Instagram: @hurdle2hope 
Facebook: Hurdle2Hope 

If this episode resonated, follow The Hurdle2Hope® Show and share it with someone who needs to hear it. 

 If you’re feeling overwhelmed by a health challenge, download the free guide here:

 https://teisharose.com/overwhelmed/

If you’re ready for more support, explore the Thriving Through Chronic Illness course and one-on-one coaching here:

 https://teisharose.com/thriving

WHERE TO GO NEXT

If you’re navigating a health challenge, you can find support and resources at
TeishaRose.com

If you’re a professional or organisation looking to strengthen connection and resilience in your work, visit
Hurdle2Hope.com

I’d love to connect with you,
Teisha

Also, are you following @hurdle2hope on social media? I’d love to see you there.

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Transcript

Teisha Rose: [00:00:00] You don't get through something like ICU by yourself. It's all about those around you that provide support. But what was very clear to me this time is, it's those right supports. It's the right support system. That's what you need to focus on building. And fortunately that's what I had to help me get through ICU.

So welcome back to The Hurdle2Hope Show season three, where I'm sharing my real health crisis in real time. Um, and sharing how I've dealt with that, not just physically, but more about emotionally.

We've shared all about what I went through in episode one. And today it's about something just as important. It's about the support systems that actually help get you through a crisis. [00:01:00]

So you don't want to wait until you are in emergency lying in the bed in ICU or going through a crisis to think about, oh, would be helpful if I had a support system around me . And more importantly, you don't wanna realize when you are in a crisis that the support system around you doesn't actually help.

So the right support system, that's the foundation of healing and the wrong support, will add to your stress and anxiety. And I'm sure you can think of different people in your support system that don't add to your calm, I guess, and make you feel more drained when you speak to them or in their presence.

When I work with clients in coaching, I put a lot of emphasis in this and there's a whole section on building your right support network, um, [00:02:00]because.

Everyone plays a different role. I know, and I'll go through this a bit more, but everyone I have in my support system, they meet different needs I have.

And I was really reflecting on my eight days in ICU and I spent a lot of time by myself. Logistically, it was really hard. I was an hour away from home, and when you are living in the country, , you don't wanna be driving at night. Um, so I didn't want Andrew driving at night to come and see me because if you're not in Australia, kangaroos are real and they're pretty deadly on the country roads at night.

And I was, a couple of hours away from family and friends and all, but it didn't matter, you know, for me, I still felt really supported even though I was by myself a lot of the time. And that's because I could pick up the phone and chat to anyone, send text messages, um, and have that support even though they weren't there [00:03:00] physically.

So I think that's an important point because sometimes, we are a long way away from friends and family, but that doesn't mean you can't still seek and have support from those close to you emotionally more so than physically close.

So as I share more about what my support system looks like, have a little think about yourself and who's in your support network and what role they play. And you know, it might look different to mine and that's okay. It's about having a network around you that is right for you. For me, absolutely. You know, my partner.

Unbelievable. Um, we've been through so much in the last 20 years together, and no matter what we go through. The, the bigger the crisis, the closer we get. Um, so I'm very fortunate and know I'm very fortunate with that. , And as I mentioned, although physically he couldn't be there a lot, we were constantly texting, constantly, on the phone.

Andrew [00:04:00] absolutely is my emotional support. I was really emotional when I started processing the reality that I nearly died. So he just let me.

Be sad, you know, the tears were going. I'm like, oh, sorry, sorry. And he's like, no, no, bub, you've been through so much. Let it all out. So having someone hold that space for you, whether it's a partner, a close friend, whoever it is, it is really important to have emotional support.

And not only that, emotional support, it's important to have someone, and for me, Andrew as well, for some of the practical things as well. He went and did simple things, which are, so loving in terms of, you know, came back with a massive bag of all these clothes from, came Kmart. So that practical need was met, fortunately for me by my partner. But , again, someone else in your support team, those practical things are so important and it needs to have met because you're very dependent when you are [00:05:00] stuck in a room at hospital and can't get to the shops and can't meet those needs.

Then I talk about having consistent support and you think, okay, in your network, who can you consistently rely on? And for me, absolutely during this was my parents, I could always pick up the phone and just have random conversations if I was a bit lonely. Once a week they came up as well. And, that support, that consistency, knowing that someone's there that loves you, that, um, can hold space for you, that's so important as well.

I'm very blessed and very fortunate to have an incredible group of girlfriends and for me, I've got friends that I've met at different stages of my life and I had different conversations with each of them, , during this stay. And every time I hung up the phone, read the text message, I felt energized and not drained.

[00:06:00] So I was very intentional, um, who I let in into this space because dealing with what I was dealing with. I did not want to hang up the phone and be anxious and stress with what was going on. And I think I've been really good over the years in maybe weeding out some of those friends because with ms , and then even going through my stage four breast cancer diagnosis, I knew that certain people would add to that anxiety and those sleepless nights, and I could not afford to do that in hospital this time.

And this goes back to boundaries as well, and what I was talking about in episode two, you've gotta put your own wellbeing as a priority. So if you are living with a chronic illness, it's so important that you only have people who do energize you, hold space for you.

And if someone doesn't, [00:07:00] don't be afraid to stand back a little bit from that friendship. Um, and you know, when you're feeling strong, absolutely catch up. But if you are feeling really vulnerable, this is the time to have that boundary around you and only let people in who won't make things worse. So this is a really big one. Again, when I'm coaching people, this is a real sticking point, um, because we don't wanna hurt people's feelings and it's not about that, but it is about prioritizing your wellbeing.

And when you're in ICU. The stakes are high, and having someone who adds to anxiety is just not worth it. And also I should say, this doesn't mean I'm, then it's just all about me. During my conversations with friends, we talked about what was going on in their life as well because you care for your friends and it's that two way relationship. So it's not about just making about [00:08:00] yourself and having a boundary. You know, saying it's all about me, but it's surrounding yourself with people who you had those conversations. You hang up and you still feel good about yourself and life.

This then brings me to medical team. If you are living with a chronic illness, this is such a critical part of your support network. If you have the wrong team around you, healing becomes very difficult. And for me, as I've shared, I'm definitely spiritual. I definitely believe in energy healing, and that is absolutely part of my journey, but that doesn't mean I don't have medical team around me. For me, it's not either all. It's like how do we bring those two things together?

And I have learnt. that when you quieten your mind, when you are very in [00:09:00] tune with what feels right, then you're always led to the right people and you always only invite those in who you know are aligned with not only your priority of your wellbeing, but aligned with how you view health and wellbeing.

So I know even in the absolute crisis when I was passing blood, we went to emergency. Andrew and I were both really calm, you know, scared but calm and we were going in one direction thought no. Andrew said, let's go to Ballarat. And I was like, ah. I remember seeing a St. John of God Hospital in Ballarat.

So we put it in Google Maps and we were led to the best place I could have been for my care. It was incredible. It was a new ICU unit, the doctors, there were teams in ICU from Melbourne that came up and, um, were [00:10:00]there for the seven days and they were incredible. I felt so confident in their care. I shared in episode one, the bowel surgeon that initially I came under and saw me. He had trained under my surgeon who did my breast surgery. His demeanor, his approach was very aligned to how I engage with medical people, um, and their communication skills, their empathy, their connection was just so good and put me at peace.

What I'm also very fortunate with is the gastroenterologist. When he took over my care, he was straight away on the phone to my neurologist also spoke to my oncologist, so medically knowing I now had three incredible, um, doctors all wanting me to not only get through this, but to live a long time and live well. That [00:11:00] gave me so much, comfort and relief. So if you are listening to this. If you don't have that level of trust in your medical team, if you are not comfortable chatting to them, if they don't explain things properly, if they're not listening to you, because this team kept listening to everything I said and that informed what decisions they made.

If that is not the level of interaction you have change. We don't need to, like with our friends, we don't need to worry about offending people. At the end of the day they say, see so many patients, this is your health journey and you need the very best care. If you are not getting that move on.

Then when you're thinking about your support system, also think about health supports that go beyond, I guess the initial medical.

So for me, having so many health [00:12:00] conditions, so MS I'm incredibly fortunate to have such a beautiful physio. Um, and we were texting during my stay in hospital, obviously she was really concerned and caring for my wellbeing, and that gave me absolute comfort receiving those messages. And then what gave me comfort was I was a bit worried about my MS in terms of, I put on 12 kilos, I'm still still puffy around, but um, 12 kilos in a week, and a lot of that went on to my legs. So I was really concerned about the impact that would have on my mobility long term as well. And straight away my mind was put at ease. Text messages saying, don't worry, just let me know as soon as you're out. Um, and I'll come around and see you, um, and we can get all of that sorted.

Then my [00:13:00] voice went a bit. When I went through the whole ca cancer diagnosis, my voice went with muscle tension dysphonia, a lot to do with the tightness of my muscles with MS as well. So the muscle above my voice box seized up and I did sound like it's been strangled.

And unfortunately, it was about a year that, um, I couldn't hardly speak and that was really tough. And all of a sudden I was really fearful that that was gonna happen again. So I had email contact with my speech therapist. I received exercises to do during hospital to get my, my vocal cords, doing what they meant to do. And again, that was of incredible comfort.

Then for me, as I mentioned, a very big component of my healing and getting through moments like this, but getting through living with all the conditions I [00:14:00] do, is that I view the world from a, a spiritual lens and energetically as well. When I was sitting in the ward in the hospital I was chatting to who I go to for reiki and energy healing. And that was of such comfort just to talk about what was happening.

So again, just start thinking about as well, what other supports you have? You've got your medical team set up. Who else is looking after you physically? What are those type of things that you need to do to keep you moving and feeling better?

Then I always challenge people, but if you're really struggling, what are the supports you need to process the emotions of what's going on, which is what we chatted about in last week's episode, and whether that's having some counseling, seeing a psychologist or like [00:15:00] I'm doing as well, having some some work done to clear some of the energy within me as well. Just keep your mind open to getting support like that.

And then the last bit of the support is community support as well. And for me, that's been really unexpected. We've had the property a couple of years up at Daisy Hill, and I kept saying to Andrew, it's really important for you to still go to the, the local pub. It's a cute little local pub.

We actually go through the, the state forest on a dirt track and onto the road and to the pub every Friday night and Saturday night, and it's such a beautiful community feel. And the support was incredible for him and that gave me such peace as well.

But all the messages that people sent through to me and, you know, one of the older guys there was really teary and he said we'll do a raffle, to help you out financially. And we're like, no, no, no, we're fine. Do that for someone who really [00:16:00] needs it. But the love and support from people who are new to us made us feel so good and supported. Um, that, yeah, just think about what community support you have and if you don't have that, is there somewhere that you can start building that.

So once we work out our support system, so you've got all of that, your medical and looking after your physical health, emotional health. If you want spiritual health, your the friends, the family around you, also the community around you. What I do want to emphasize again, is not all supports help.

So when you're creating a team, this is very specific to you, but this is what will support you and hold you and help you heal and get through the actual crisis, but then the aftermath of that crisis. So don't worry about what other people's [00:17:00] supports look like. This is about you and what works for you. 

Because the reality is you won't get through some of these crises just by yourself. Not only is that lonely. It is so isolating and your mind then does race, and your, the only voices that surround you are the ones in your head particularly at night that you're, you know, trying to push away. 

Okay, so an another quick episode, conserving my energy, but from this, I really want you to see that you can't get through a crisis by yourself. You need a support system. But not just any support system. You need a support system that is right for you.

So something happened to you tomorrow. Just think who would be there to support you? What roles would those people play? And if there's gaps in that support system, that's okay. Start filling the gaps and making sure everyone you [00:18:00] let in into your support system will hold space for you and help you get through the moment and help you on your healing journey.

And before we go, if you are dealing with a health challenge at the moment, I mentioned last week and I've, put together a free reference guide called when health challenges feel overwhelming, this shares with you four insights that I've used in dealing with this ICU moment. These insights were born from my experience with MS then also applied to my experience with stage four breast cancer.

And it's very practical and something that you can return to over and over again. So go to TeishaRose.com/overwhelmed.

Thanks again for joining me, and I really look forward to chatting to you again next week. 

​ [00:19:00]