Stop Overworking and Create Success

Maintaining a work-life balance is always important but challenging. The COVID-19 pandemic has rearranged traditional work schedules, and people have been working too much. Many people have been, and still are, working from home. 

In this episode we are chatting with Amelia Noel a Master Certified Coach about overworking and how to gain the balance back. In this episode you’ll learn about:

• The difference between drive and a dangerous drive or overworking.
• Threefold consequences of overworking; physical, emotional, and mental.
• What can corporations do to prevent a situation where their workforce feels burnout. 
• Five common mindsets or ways of thinking that drive overworking and that create the stress and the overwhelm. 

You can learn more about Amelia at:

• IG: @breakingfreefromthegrind 
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amelianoel/ 
• Website: www.amelianoelcoaching.com

If you liked this episode and would like to learn more about wellness training and workshops offered by 9 to 5 Wellness, email us at info@aeshathair.com 

You can learn more about our corporate programs at https://toneandstrengthen.com/workshops-trainings/

You can learn more about Aesha at https://www.aeshatahir.com

🌟 🌟 🌟 If you liked this episode and would like to learn more about wellness training and workshops offered by 9 to 5 Wellness, email us at info@aeshathair.com. You can learn more about our programs at: https://toneandstrengthen.com/workshops-trainings/. 🌟 🌟 🌟

My passion is helping organizations create a culture of wellness, and I do this by setting up health programs that prioritize the most important asset they've got – their employees. Cheers to a healthier and happier journey ahead!

🌟 🌟 🌟 You can learn more about ME- the host at https://www.aeshatahir.com

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https://www.instagram.com/tone_and_strengthen/

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Transcript

 Today, we are going to talk about overworking. Maintaining a work life balance, which we all know is very important, but challenging at the same time. And I have to say that after COVID 19 our work schedules have been rearranged and we

are still working from home  so we're going to talk about this with a master certified coach, Amelia Knoll. She's a podcast host, Columbia MBA and former wall street investment banker and fortune 500 strategy consultant who helps. Overworked and overwhelmed corporate professionals break free from the stress of corporate grind and create sustainable success in their careers through her one on one break free from the grind coaching program and podcast corporate workshops and speaking events.

Amelia has helped hundreds of clients working for companies and business. So I'm super excited to add her to the stage. Welcome Amelia. Hi, thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here and talk with you today. Oh, thanks for coming. I am so excited to chat with you too, because overworking and having a good.

Work life balance is just so important for our well being and health too. So I want to start with that hard work is important, right? In any job, anything you're doing, but what does it mean when a seemingly admirable drive becomes dangerous? For us. So what's the difference between the two? 

Yeah, it's such a great question.

This difference between drive and a dangerous drive or working hard and overworking. And so what's so interesting is so many of us, and I would imagine so many of the audience tuning in identifies as being high performers as. Identifies as being high achievers, and a lot of that is coming from really this idea that we care.

We care about our work. We care about how we perform at work. We care about how we show up at work, and that's a really good intention, and that fuels a lot of our drive early on, as does a belief system around hard work being good and hard work leading to eventual success. All good things. Where that drive starts to become dangerous, though, is when we notice in our pursuit of success and in our pursuit of working hard, it is taking a mental and emotional and a physical toll on ourselves and on our bodies.

The way, you know, I talk about helping clients who are working in corporate stop. overworking. And the way that I define overworking is if you are spending more time, meaning actual more minutes or hours in your day or more energy, whether that's emotional energy or mental energy or actual physical energy, achieving the same level of success that you could working less.

And so when I talk about drive becoming dangerous, or if you know, you're listening in and you're wondering, am I overworking? The question I always offer is, well, how do you feel? At work, write down the top three emotions you feel most often in your day to day at your job or in your career. If two or more of those is negative, frustrated, overwhelmed, insecure, stressed, pressured, you're overworking. 

Wow. That's a great 

definition. The way you explain that, okay, if you know what are the symptoms that you're feeling and if they are negative, that's one of the ways to tell that you are overworking. All right. So we know that overworking can be harmful and how is it harmful though? What is it impacting?

What do you see most commonly when you're coaching your clients?  

Yeah, it's a great question. So, you know, overworking the consequences of overworking or the toll is really threefold. There's the tangible and physical consequences, and those are the ones that we're most likely familiar with. It can look like.

getting headaches. It can look like losing sleep and insomnia. It can look like losing hair. It can look like the opposite of insomnia, where when we're not in our jobs, we're so overwhelmed and sober now and so disengaged that we just want to sleep all the time. So the physical symptoms easiest to spot, but it's really the mental and the emotional symptoms that drive the physical symptoms.

So emotionally feeling stressed every day, feeling anxious every day, feeling pressure every day, insecure, paranoid, feeling burnt out day to day at work. That's the emotional toll. And then the mental toll is where we're actually the way that we're thinking. day to day at work is essentially driving us crazy and driving us to overwork.

So having thoughts like I'm not good enough or, um, I never have enough time. I'll never get everything done. I have to be perfect. This has to be perfect. Those are thoughts that create the emotional drain that then fuel more overwork. So it's really threefold mental, emotional and physical. 



And to just highlight the mental and physical aspect of it, that people who overwork, I was just reading this research study and they concluded that they, those people experience more neck back, chest pain, stroke, they are at a higher risk of stroke,  heart disease, diabetes and anxiety. And mostly we're seeing that in employees who are working More than 61 hours a week.

And also it leads to depression and anxiety, which is costing us at this time the U. S. Economy a trillion dollars each year. So how does this then pour into organizational well being? So an organization who's dependent on their employees and the employees are overworking. What could be some strategies in which 

organization can  avoid overworking their employees. 

Yeah, so you bring up a really great point first about what is and really exploring what is the cost to organizations of, let's just say, an overworking workforce or a burnt out workforce. And what's interesting is there's a tangible costs in actual dollars and hit to the company's bottom line.

And then there's an intangible costs as well. When you think about things like company culture or the talent drain and the ideas that are being lost when you are losing employees because they're overworked. And feeling burnt out in terms of actual dollars there, you can quantify based on certain turnover rates.

You can quantify that dollar cost loss to your company. And then you consider things like, okay, onboarding new employees, reach training and retraining the costs associated with constant turnover. If people are leaving the workforce because they're burnt out, the team that's left behind then has to scramble and readjust.

In terms of the. Intangible costs, right? The ideas lost the talent loss. There are so many studies done on how a happier workforce is a more creative workforce, is a more productive workforce, is a more strategic workforce, is a more loyal workforce. There's actually a great book. I always recommend this.

It's called the happiness advantage. And it's by Sean Acor, and he's a Harvard researcher and lecture, and he actually conducted a multi year study. So if you love data and if you want to see the evidence or see the stats, I highly recommend this book on how a multi year study on how happier employees actually are more productive, create more success for, for their company, help make the company more profitable.

So definitely check that out. So in terms of the cost, it's real. And then in terms of what. Corporations can do to prevent a situation where their workforce feels burnout or their workforce is overworking is invest in the type of training that helps their employees develop the tools they need to manage their minds and manage their mindset and their emotions on the job.

I call it corporate mindfulness. So it's the ability of a corporation and a corporation's employees to manage their mindset. And manage their emotions on the job. So they feel less stressed, they feel more in control, they feel more productive and creative, and so they create sustainable success for themselves and the company.

Yeah, I really like how you just explained. And I want to highlight this, that they can implement strategies in which they feel in control. And I think it goes not only for the organization, but also the employees, individual employees too, right? Yes. Because. It, it works both ways and that way you can have happy employees.

And as you said, happy employees are productive employees. Um, that's great that, you know, we can implement strategies, but what are some of the ways that individuals can avoid 

overworking? Yeah, it's a great question. Before I, and I'll share some practical tools and some really simple strategies that you can start implementing if you're feeling like you're overworking today.

Before I do, I'm just going to back up and explain, you know, what actually causes overworking to begin with. So in the hundreds of clients that I've coached, I've found there are really five common mindsets or ways of thinking that drive overworking and that create the stress and the overwhelm, the burnout, the pressure that contributes to overworking.

And so those are perfectionism, imposter syndrome. People pleasing overachieving and overthinking and so for those who are listening in, or, you know, you might even be sitting there thinking, oh, I identify with some of those already. Those are the types of thinking that drive overworking. So, for example.

Uh, Pete, someone with a people pleasing mindset might find themselves often thinking at work. I can't say no, or I don't want to let my team down. I can't push back. Someone who's operating from a perfectionist mindset is likely having habitual thoughts like I need to be perfect. This needs to be right. I can't fail.

What if I fail? Thoughts like that. And so, um, these five mindsets are what drive overworking and drive the stress and burnout and overwhelm we feel now the antidote or the skills that you want to develop to stop overworking. And this is where, what I focus on working with clients on developing five simple skills to help them stop overworking essentially are making decisions.

Prioritizing is a big one. And really constraining within that. So making decisions, prioritizing and constraining, experimenting and trying new things. There's also the idea of building confidence. So that is actually a skill. When we learn how to build confidence and build self trust, we will stop overworking.

And then the very first and most important setting boundaries boundaries. And saying no.  And so those are the five skills that if you, you learn to practice and eventually master setting boundaries, making decisions, prioritizing, experimenting, and trying new things and building confidence, you will stop overworking.

And then in terms of some strategies, some actual things you can start doing today. For example, When it comes to setting boundaries, the very first thing you want to do is start saying no more. And so the way that I teach this or offer this, especially when it feels scary, when we're not used to doing it, when it feels uncomfortable is offering yourself the challenge and asking yourself the question.

Okay, what is one thing  That I can say no to, whether by delegating or saying, I can't do this, or so and so is the best person to handle this to today. What is one thing that I can say no to today and when we go into our work day thinking like that, we're looking for an opportunity to set to say no or to set some sort of boundary.

We will find opportunities to do that and the more practice we get saying no, the easier it becomes. See an example I use with a lot of my clients because they work in corporate is, you know, so often we receive. Calendar invites for meetings that we know we don't have to be a part of, but we're choosing to listen in or we're choosing to sit in on them just because we feel guilty.

But we know we don't need to be there. So that's a really easy way. Start practicing saying no would be declining that meeting invitation because you know you're not needed and letting your team know that you'll check in with them after the meetings over in case they need help with anything with any of the action items coming out of that meeting.

So really simple example. Yeah, 

no, that's a great example. And I want to go back, uh, start from the top here and just talk about the mindset that you talked about. Like why do people overwork and you beautifully explained like four different mindsets and a few of the things like perfectionism, right.

Which we see it's very common and people pleasing, right. And the ability to not be able. To decline meetings or even in your family and social life, right? Not being able to say no.  

Sometimes it's harder with our families than it is at 

work. Exactly. Exactly. And it does lead to that burnout, which then.

Leads to poor health, physical and mental health. So let's talk a little bit more. I want to go a little bit deeper into those four mindsets 

that you just talked about. Yeah, definitely. So there are actually, there are five main ones that I've seen in all the clients I work with. And so I can go into each one and then I'll share some common thoughts that you're probably having.

If you're operating from one of these mindsets, so one of the ones I talked about is being an over thinker, and so this applies within the context of work and contributes to overworking, but you can also probably notice if you fall into these mindsets outside of work as well, because we take the same brain that we have.

We take it everywhere. It's not like we take our work brain out and put in our personal life brain. It's the same brain everywhere. Okay. So the overthinking mindset sounds like having thoughts like, I don't know what to do, but what if  I don't want to make the wrong decision? There is also the people pleasing mindset.

So notice if you have thoughts often at work or personal life that sound like, I don't want to let others down. I can't say no. I don't want to hurt their feelings. I want to be a team player. The perfectionist mindset sounds a lot like I can't make a mistake. I have to be perfect. I hold myself and I hold others to incredibly high standards.

Then there's the overachiever. So that's the mindset of I'm not doing enough. I need to prove my worth to my team. I can't rest. And then the imposter imposter syndrome sounds like I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. Who am I to fill in the blank? So if you notice, if some of those thoughts sound familiar, then chances are you're operating from that mindset at work, which is driving the burnout or the stress and then the overworking.

 I really love 

how you talk about  overthinkers and one of the things that I want to highlight, but you mentioned earlier, too, and even now is the fear of 

failure,  right? Yeah, a lot 

of times we're overthinking it or have imposter syndrome, like doubts about ourselves or our capabilities. I should say actually , is because we're afraid to fail.

Yes. And , and it's, it's important to highlight it here because you know what, you can't get to the level that you want to achieve without failing, because there is always trial and error involved in anything that we do personal or professional. Right? So for that, when you talked about the solutions, I do want to bring the solution back where you said that try.

Right. Try different experiences, build confidence. And where does the confidence really come from? It comes from trying and knowing you become so familiar with that situation where you have failed multiple times. You become so familiar with it that you're now like, Oh, I can handle it.  So it just ties in.

So I just love that.  I want to talk a little bit about setting healthy boundaries with you, because I feel like having that  imposter syndrome, having that overthinking brain or overachieving brain, all of that leads. Us not being able to set  healthy boundaries, right? Right? So what would be the best way to and to, you know, set healthy boundaries where you're still being respectful of others.

You're still showing up for people who need you, but. At the same time, it's not coming at the cost of your wellbeing. 

Yeah. So the very first thing that I would offer for anyone to do, if you're wanting to set healthier boundaries is ask yourself, what are my biggest priorities in life right now? And once you've really identified for yourself, what you care about most, whether it's Eating dinner with your family uninterrupted every night during the week, or whether it's getting at least seven hours of sleep or whether it's creating an hour in your week that you can dedicate to cultivating a new hobby, whatever it is, get really clear on what you care about most right now in life related to work and related not to work.

And then within those priorities, you want to ask yourself, what is a boundary I would like to set in this space? So I'll just, just for the sake of example, let's say it's a really big priority to me. Let's say I have young kids and it's a really big priority to me that I put them to bed every night. I'm home by seven 30 when they're going to bed.

And it's important for me to protect that time.  Just clarifying that for myself. 7 30 every night, Monday through Friday, I am home  is the first step to then setting the boundary. And so asking yourself, how could I communicate this to someone else in a way that feels supportive? So that could sound like letting your team know if you work in an office environment, letting your team know it's important to me.

that I spend the hours of 7 30 to 8 30 putting my kids to bed. Any email you send during that time, I'll address it come nine o'clock or I'll get to it the next day. So you're making first and foremost sure you're taking care of yourself and what you need, but not completely at the expense of hurting or harming those around you.

You're supporting yourself and you're supporting them. So get clear on what your priorities are. Ask yourself, what is the boundary I do want to set here? And how could I communicate that in a way that feels supportive to myself and also to others? 

Yeah, yeah, I like that, that you are very clear in what you want and you're taking it step by step.

It's not just like, okay, you know, I can't work after 5 p. m. at all. Right, yeah. Yeah, it's important for you to be there for your kids at night. Read them the bedtime story. And you're really clarifying that. And I think that a lot of it comes just like you said,  the clarity within  us, right? Like what is important and maybe it's one thing and you start with one, which is like being there for your kids at night.

And then maybe adding to that list and working towards other things too. And just like you said, the more you practice.  The better you get at it. And that goes for saying no. And that can go for setting up healthy boundaries as well. So yeah, I just love that. So I like all the solutions that you provided and the example you gave about, you know, setting the healthy boundary and,  any other.

Practical tips that our listeners and viewers can incorporate right away, or something that you see very often in your clients that you 

would like to share with us. Yeah, definitely. So, you know, going back to those five common mindsets that drive overworking saying no. More like looking for one area each day that you can say, no, that really helps with that people pleasing mindset.

If you notice that you are feeling empathic, experiencing imposter syndrome, another really great way, because when we're thinking things like, I'm not good enough, or I'm not smart enough, I'm not talented enough. We're eroding our own confidence. And when we're not feeling confident, we overwork to try to compensate.

So a great way to start building confidence, which is one of the skills to develop if you want to stop overworking is to start creating what I call a success file or a wins file. And so every day. At the end of your day, it could be in an Excel doc. It could be in a handwritten journal, write down three wins that you had for that day.

And even after the course of a week, if you're writing three things down over the course of a week, that's over 20 wins. You are showing your brain evidence of your skills, of your strengths. Of your abilities of, of areas of growth and progress. And so seeing that evidence will change how you're thinking about yourself at work.

You will start acknowledging and recognizing I am smart. I am talented. I do bring unique strengths and skills to the table. And when we think like that, when we talk to ourselves like That that's what creates confidence. It's like confidence comes from within. It's created by how we think about ourselves.

Then we feel confident. We go do the thing. Then like, to your point, you're saying we see that we did the thing, which just creates more confidence. So building a success file. Three wins a day every day at the end of the day is huge. And then another thing, you know, overachieving it's such a driver. It's one of the mindsets that drives overworking.

And when we're overachieving, we're trying to do all of the things. And we often, you know, we try to do all the things we overcomplicate  things. And so simply asking yourself this one grounding question before you step into your work day being, what is the one. Most important thing I choose to focus on today,  focusing on that, completing that and then asking yourself that same question again, what is the one most important thing I choose to focus on now really allows you to prioritize and reminds you that all those other urgent but not important things can wait. 

Yeah, I like that. 

Uh, urgent, but not important. 

Not important. 

 Urgent, but not important. I really want to highlight that. And I like the way you just mentioned that write down one thing, , that you want to accomplish, which is the most important. On your agenda for the day, accomplish that and then move forward because a lot of times if we are overthinkers and overachievers, yeah, we have a big to do list.

And if we don't check it off by the end of the day, that. Takes us into gap  thinking I'm very familiar with the work of Dan Sullivan, , with the,  the gain and the gap I've been listening to his book and I like how you just highlighted  wins , I have sticky notes and I fold them and put them in a glass jar every night. 

About things that went well or things I accomplished that day because that keeps us in the game and we don't feel like, okay, we didn't achieve anything this way. We can easily move forward. Same thing at night I write down. Two top priorities that you, that I want to do the next day. And then the other things come later.

So I love all the strategies, prioritizing, saying no, setting healthy boundaries and really clarifying your goals. in terms of what you want to accomplish and where you want to reduce the work where you're overworking at this time and what your priorities are as far as your friends and families are family is concerned so that your co workers.

Are also aware of your priorities. So thank you. Amelia. This is awesome. So where can our listeners find you? Tell us more about, uh, social media, your website,  more about 

you, all the things. So if you found the concept of the five mindsets, interesting, the five mindsets that drive overworking, I would definitely say to go over to my website.

It's Amelia Noel coaching. dot com. So my name coaching dot com. And the very first thing you'll see is a quiz that you can take. It's less than three minutes, but it will ask you a series of questions. And then at the end, it will reveal which of those five mindsets is driving overworking in your career.

And also with that, you'll get like a little brochure of some practical tips and strategies that you can start implementing at work today to help overcome some of those mindsets. So I highly recommend you go and check out that quiz and get those strategies and tools. You could also follow me. I love sharing free content and tools and Tips to stop overworking and create sustainable success on Instagram.

So my handle is at breaking free from the grind. And then I also have a podcast on Apple and Spotify also called breaking free from the grind. Um, new episodes drop every Friday. And so you can check out again, free content focused on helping you stop overworking in your career and achieve sustainable success.

Awesome. 

Thank you. And I'll include all of course, 

it was great to chat with you. Thank you for having me.

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