Silent Strength

discuss the importance of creating inclusive workplaces for different personality types. Benjamin shares insights from his recently released book, 'Silent Strength,' which focuses on the strengths of introverted leaders. 

We talk about the successes of introverted founders like Larry Page and Sarah Blakely and how organizations can leverage both introverted and extroverted strengths. Tune in for practical tips on creating a balanced and thriving work environment.

00:00 Introduction to the Nine to Five Wellness Podcast

00:30 Meet Benjamin Friedman: Community Builder and Author

01:19 The Power of Introverts in Leadership

05:40 Highlighting Successful Introverted Founders

07:45 Strengths of Introverts in the Workplace

12:03 Balancing Introverts and Extroverts in Teams

18:38 Creating Inclusive Work Environments

21:27 Practical Tips for Introverts at Networking Events

24:16 Conclusion and Parting Thoughts

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Transcript

 Welcome to the Nine to Five Wellness Podcast, a show about corporate wellness solutions with innovators and forward-thinking leaders who are at the forefront of the workplace wellness movement. I'm your host, Aisha Tahir.

Hello and welcome to the nine to five Wellness Podcast and LinkedIn live show. Today I have an awesome guest with me and his name is Benjamin Friedman. Benjamin is a community builder, author, and advisor who helps founders achieve focused, measured, and efficient growth while mitigating risks. Now, if you're wondering, how does he do that?

Let me tell you how with Build Scale Grow, that's his organization. He partners with Social impact ed tech and health Tech founders through coaching and fractional COO support and offers curated events through the New York Tech CFO Group and Table A community for early stage founders. Today, he's here with us to discuss how.

Organizations can create a culture of being inclusive for different personality types. And I'm talking about people who communicate or have different preferences for, for communication like introverts, extroverts, and ambiverts. So I'm really excited about this conversation and this conversation is also related, uh, to his.

Very recently released book, which is Silent Strength. Hence the title of the LinkedIn Live event and podcast, silent Strength. Welcome to the show, Benjamin. 

Thank you so much, Aisha. It's a pleasure to talk with you and to hopefully meet some new people today. 

Absolutely. I am so excited about this and I do wanna give my audience a little bit of background how we both connected, and I wanna highlight the power of connections over here too, in that way.

So we have a mutual connection, David Burrows and David and I met at a virtual author platform, I wanna say. Two, two and a half years ago when my book was first being released. And David has been nothing but amazing, an amazing supporter of my work, an amazing supporter of my book, and like a couple of weeks ago, David.

Messaged me on LinkedIn. Hey, you know, , I have a friend Benjamin, and he, he just wrote this book on introverts, , about silent strength, and I want to connect you with him. And I was like, yeah, go ahead, because. David and I, we both, , have connected over being an introvert and an introverted leader. So I was like, oh my gosh, I have another one.

So that's great. And that's how we connected and here we are today. So I'm really excited about learning more about Benjamin's work. I did read through a few of his book chapters, and I can tell you they're amazing. I learned. So much already and I wanna share more of that info with you. So Benjamin, I have a question for you.

Sure. And the question is, what inspired you to write this book? 

So, thanks, Aisha. I work with a lot of startup founders. I've been either an employee or in my current capacity over two decades. I've met a lot of founders who see as role models, the loudest person at the party, the one highlighting the event, the one who's doing interview after interview.

And so the assumption is that to be a successful startup founder, you have to be loud and proud and. Certainly some successful founders do fit, that personality, but there are many other successful founders who are introverted, who are quietly, deeply innovatively solving problems that are making a huge impact on the world.

And as I was researching and some of the blog posts I'm writing, then having conversations, then doing some deeper research in preparation for the book. I kept learning about more and more people who had these characteristics, but we have not necessarily heard of them. They have found great success in their introverted founder careers.

That is amazing. Yeah. I agree with you that a lot of times people who are loud or have the ability to capture attention, I wanna say, and not in. Not in a bad way always, but they do have the ability to, they're more charismatic. Right. And in a good way, I think we all have our strengths and that's what I'm gonna dive deeper, into with you what our introverts strengths.

But I feel like extroverts definitely.  can communicate in a way that, appears to be more. Powerful. Right. But as I was reading the preface of your book, I'm surprised to find out that there are so many founders of organizations that are in the spotlight today, who are introverts.

And I'd like to dive into some of those founders with you because I think there is a misconception that entrepreneurs and founders are the ones who are the loudest. 

Yes, that would be great. I'm happy to share some names. We can get into their stories later, but these are people that everyone's probably heard of.

So Steve Wozniak, , co-founder of Apple. One of his defining moments is pushing back on Steve Jobs to say that one of the earlier versions of the Apple, I think it was the Apple two E, should have more, , capacity to add memory and, and different.

Functionality. This meant that a lot of the users could build the computer to their specifications. Back then you didn't have the internet and accessing all these apps, and so people could plug in literally the, the tools and functions that they wanted. And by doing that, the apple took off. Larry Page is one of the co-founders of Google.

We might talk about him a little later when it comes to, workspaces, 'cause I know that's your forte. , But he definitely had an introverted bent, , Sarah Blakely over at Spanx. She was very interested in solving a problem, and even though she knew very little. About clothing apparel. When she started, she applied her introversion to dig deep, and instead of taking group meetings, she really focused on talking with investors one-on-one whenever possible.

And of course, there's Bill Gates and Tim Cook and a host of others out there as well. 

Those are some amazing examples. And I wanna underscore something Benjamin, that you just said. You, gave the example of Sarah Blakely, the founder of Spanx, and I follow her very closely. She's a great role model for so many female founders. So I do wanna underscore you some, something you just said that she played on that one, one-on-one conversations with other founders or. People who were investing in her, business and that's how she became successful. So I wanna know, like what do you think are some of the strengths of introverts that can help them in leadership and, in their role as entrepreneurs? 

Sure. Certainly. So introverts are very capable of going deep into solving complex problems.

They often prefer being alone, and at the same time, they can really focus on how to get through that situation. They're very good, at listening deeply and communicating effectively. , Introverts tend to process and then talk. Extroverts tend to think aloud. I'm not sitting here judging. They both have their values at different times, but introverts can have that conversations.

Take time to themselves to process it and then come back with a new idea or insight. And then finally, they're also very calm, during crises. So extroverts tend to act quickly. And in startups in particular, that can be very valuable, but sometimes it's the introvert. It says, actually, I know this feels like a lot of pressure, and that you have to have an answer right away.

It's better if we talk to a couple people first, figure out all of our options, and then go forward. That type of balance is really useful when you're getting a startup off the ground. 

That those are all great,, points that you made about the strengths that introverts have. And in my experience, I'm just gonna add to it. I feel like introverts are more empathetic. They are also strategic thinkers, right? And, and especially for a startup and as a founder, that is so important, because we take a step back, we don't act fast, just like you said, like extroverts have the ability to act fast or they just take that step right away.

But I think a lot of times strategic thinking or slowing down and stepping back is also. Valuable in organizations, especially as a startup. Also focusing on quality over quantity is also one of our, strengths. That's how I see it. I've done a lot of net networking over the last, I wanna say like four or five years for my business.

And I know that extroverted people definitely connect with more people in in networking group, but I might connect with only two or three people, but they end up being much closer connections for me. And another thing that I have been noticing. In myself, , and then other introverted entrepreneurs and founders and leaders is our strength, in using like writing and digital tools for outreach.

What do you think about that? 

So I think that all makes sense. There are certainly extroverts who fit all those, characteristics that you mentioned, and there are some introverts who do not fit those. Uh, but we are trying to capture some high level thinking here. The flip side is that sometimes those skills are incredibly valuable, but sometimes they're not what's needed at the moment.

So, for example, if there is a crisis and we truly do need a response immediately. Perhaps taking the time to process, write it down, communicate it, and then share it, , with a broader audience is not necessarily what's needed. Sometimes you need to say something in the next five or 10 minutes, and it really depends on the situation and the team you're working with to find what's the best time to apply different skills.

The other takeaway I got from working on the book is that if you're an introvert. And your goal supersedes your hesitation to explore different areas. You can be incredible at networking, at selling, at fundraising. You might approach it differently than an extrovert would, but your outcomes will be very similar.

There are tips and techniques you can use to apply your energy effectively and to collaborate with the right people to generate the right outcomes. 

Okay. So that's great. I love what you just said. Okay. Collaborate with the right people. So now I know that this book might sound like, at least from the title, it might might sound like that it's geared just towards introverts, but it's not.

And we had this conversation last week prior to the interview and you were mentioning how it's also geared for extroverts. And it helps extroverts learn how to work with introverts better. So what you are suggesting is creating a team or collaborating with people who have certain strengths that you probably don't.

So let's talk more about it. Where can extroverts leverage introverts strength? And where can introverts leverage extroverts strength in an organization? 

Yes, certainly. So a couple points you brought up there, Aisha. One is the book certainly does speak to extroverts. I added three chapters, the first praising extroverts and their skills and abilities.

The second and third, really talking about collaboration in the ways that you said, , I think. Some things to keep in mind, and this is part of learning and, and getting better and developing as a leader, is being able to communicate effectively your strengths and ways that you operate the best. So an introvert might say, Hey, if you see me sitting there quietly and not talking for a while, I don't want you to think that I'm judging you.

I don't want you to think I'm being standoffish. Or as, Doug covet at, Campbell's Soup, once told his team, if you feel that I'm being aloof, I want you to call me out. And by saying this aloud, it really sets the tone that you are being thoughtful. You're just not going to say something right away.

You can, as an introvert, decide you're gonna make one or two points in the meeting. You can decide that you're gonna talk to the team or the facilitator after the meeting, or share some notes. You may decide to meet one-on-one or in a small group after a larger meeting, and that's how you can effectively tackle a project.

You just wanna communicate how you plan to work together and, uh, to flip it, as you said, uh, if you're an extrovert and you're running one of those meetings or you're working with introvert. It's very tempting as an extrovert to talk aloud and to solve problems. Um, but if you are working with an introvert, you might wanna take a moment to pause.

You might want to learn to embrace, uh, a couple of seconds of silence and just wait for that person to chime in. They will. And I think as you two get to know each other better, the silences will be shorter and the responses will be much more rewarding in both directions. Uh, so it's being mindful of that.

And then also if you're an extrovert and you have a meeting or you're working on a project, if you can send that out beforehand, you can write a note. Telling the whole team, this is what I wanna accomplish in our meeting. If you have any thoughts beforehand, I'm happy to hear it. This will allow introverts to one process before the meeting and come in with information.

And two, they can respond in writing if that's the best approach for them. 

I really love this. Thank you so much for sharing that, because I think a lot of times it's something that's not considered. But yes, introverts, so preparation is introvert's superpower. We like to prepare ahead of time.

And that's, how introverts shine . Like they bring something different to the table because we are so well prepared. , Like for this interview today, I was preparing this this morning for two hours. I mean, but I know myself, right? So it's important that, if you are in an organization where you have introverted team members. You are also aware of that, so I love this, that what you brought up that, oh, share the agenda ahead of time so that everyone is ready for it. Now, Benjamin, I wanna highlight a story in your book, which is Google's CEO Larry Page's story. Can you please share that with our audience, because that's a great.

Example, example of what you're talking about. 

Sure. So Larry Page was, , committed to communicating across the board, and we've all been to those meetings where the leader or the facilitator says very proudly and very loudly, I have an open door, you can come to me with anything. And while their intentions might be noble, often what happens in meetings is the loudest voice seems to have the most impact.

Regardless of whether they are on the path of the best outcome, Larry Page said, we're gonna get rid of almost every meeting, and instead everyone in the company is going to share memos about what they're working on and the progress they're making. This gave Larry access to lots of different people in the company.

He could quickly synthesize what they're doing. He could chime in with input or share their information with somebody else in the company. He also helped to design the Google plex, which, uh, if the name doesn't, explain it, it's where everybody was working,, in such a way that there were spaces for people to gather and also spaces for people to work on their own.

That way they could convene when it made sense and they could focus when that was necessary. And so he really made the office conducive to a lot of different ways of productive work where everybody had a chance to chime in. 

That is awesome. And it led to the creation of Gmail platform. 

So while Larry was there, it was, , Gmail and some other, uh, major accomplishments for Google.

So I'm not gonna draw a direct causation between the workplace and those accomplishments, but certainly Google thrived under his leadership. And as an introverted leader, he was responsible for making that happen. 

That is such an awesome example of how introverted workforce is a great asset to organizations.

Okay, so here's my question for you. How can organizations help people? With different communication styles and personalities thrive, how can they create an environment where introverts, extroverts, and ambiverts all thrive together? And you just gave an example of like having coworking spaces or collaboration spaces. That's one of them. What else can organizations do? 

So organizations can commit to creating environments where everyone is capable of contributing and collaborating. I mentioned some of the processes a moment ago. , But also think about independence with connection that is, , physical and virtual workspaces where people can get together, they can brainstorm, share ideas, give updates, you know, cheer accomplishments, but also they can separate in order to get work done.

And that should be done consciously. They can create environments where there's structure with flexibility. So people can choose to communicate through meetings or they can choose to communicate in writing. And it can be an and too, I said, or, but of course they can do both. And also environments where there is ambition with empathy.

So there are clear expectations of, how people can work. Basically, if you imagine a mountain, there are many paths to the top of that mountain. There's not just one in most cases. Absolutely. , You wanna help people converge on successful outcomes, but not dictate the path that they need to take in order to reach that outcome.

Absolutely. That is such a great, you know, tip that Yeah, you, you don't wanna. Literally like tell people what to do. You need to let them do what they're good at, and they naturally, you know, gravitate towards, just creating an environment which supports that is important for leaders and organizations to just keep in mind,

and I wanna share something about myself here, because for years, I mean, I thought that.

My ability to not be loud in groups kept me behind. But what I started realizing soon after was that I was so good at patient counseling and in my role as a clinical exercise physiologist, and in coaching one-on-one that. That started building my confidence and I got a bunch of speaking opportunities and I became really good in groups too because I realized a lot of times people associate introversion with not being good with communication or not being good with people. That is. A misconception.

While you were writing your book, did you come across any research or literature that supports that?

Yes, there definitely is. I spoke with several extroverts who actually no longer enjoyed the large group conference environment. They said they were done with it. Sounding just like my fellow, our fellow introverts. But you can, pick up from some of the lessons.

One is if you're going to a large event, pick and choose who you wanna talk to. If you can, if there's like an attendee list or presenter list, you might pick two or three of those people do a little research and come in with a couple of poignant questions. If you're meeting people in general, instead of the superficial, like how is your commute or what brings you here?

You can get in some really interesting topics. Like tell me the, the most fascinating thing you've learned over the last 12 months. Tell me what has you really excited for the new year? Tell me the most interesting person you've met, you know, in the last few weeks. Anything that kind of drives a deeper conversation.

Typically introverts will find more enjoyable. If the other person's not responding, that's fine. You can just move on. You can tell yourself, like you mentioned, if I meet one or two people and have really strong, genuine conversation, then that's it. I only have to meet one person, two, three, set a very low bar.

What that does is it releases you from this pressure of like, I have to meet everyone in the room and I have to do all these quick, you know, transactional conversations. Instead, focus on one or two meaningful ones and then you can choose to stay or leave. For me, a lot of times once I had a great conversation, I was energized and I was willing to stay another 15, 20 minutes hope, hoping to find another great conversation.

And then finally, when you're doing these types of events that you know are gonna be draining. Prep yourself by giving yourself time before to relax. If you can get there early and kind of feel the room before, there's a lot of people. That's a nice technique. Other introverts like to come in late so that way they know they don't have to spend as long there.

That's fine too. And then give yourself an activity afterwards. That might just be you hanging out, doing nothing but decompressing. That's totally fine. You deserve it. Just be very mindful of what you're getting into and how you're gonna navigate it. 

Absolutely. Really good tip. And yes, planning and preparation is introverts superpower.

So yeah, the more you plan ahead of time, just in general too, I think there's a lot of. Value in preparing, knowing who you want to talk to, even if it's like two or three people at that event or conference that you're going to. So, Benjamin, thank you so much for sharing all of this information and putting this book out into the world that is so awesome.

I, for one, know for sure that it's much, much, much needed. So thank you. Where can our listeners find your book and learn more about your work? 

Sure. So the book, silent Strength, the Introvert's Guide to Building Successful Startups is available on Amazon and paperback and ebook.

And if you wanna learn more about me, you can go to, we build scale grow.com or find me on LinkedIn. It's gonna be the same picture. 

Awesome. That sounds great. Any parting thoughts or words? 

I think it's really useful to take time during the day, every week, every month to really assess where you and your work is at.

Whether you run a company or you're trying to build yourself in other ways in the community with your family. Taking time every day. For most people, it's at the end of the day to saying, these are a couple things that I accomplished. That's great. Because we're all suffering from a negativity bias. We tend to focus on the one thing we did wrong, not the dozens of things we did.

Right. So write down a few of those. Then every morning you're gonna start, it's gonna be a habit of thinking, what are the good things I did today so that when I get to recording them tonight, uh, every week, take some time as well and think about how things are going. And all those plans and ideas you have, you can bring them to bear once a week.

That way you're not constantly being distracted, but you keep all those ideas in mind. 

Oh, this is so awesome. Reflecting back is also a superpower that introverts have, but I think that's valuable again, to everyone, right? It applies to everyone just writing down. I tried to write down at least one good thing. That happened during the day, and it ha it doesn't need to be only in my professional world. It could be in my family or just something I thought was really good. Like, oh, I just had this conversation with, the Starbucks barista and that, that, that's a positive,

So just go out into the world with a curious mindset. That makes conversations easy. Second is like at the end of the day, just like Benjamin said, write down one or two or maybe three positive things and then, you know, go from there. How can you, scale those? How can you grow upon those, build upon those.

So that's such a great tip to part with Benjamin. Thank you so much for your time today. 

No, thank you, Aisha. It's been great talking with you again. 

Same here. Thank you. And hopefully we'll stay in touch and maybe, you know, we can talk more about Introverts strength sometime soon. 

That sounds great. A nice one-on-one conversation.

Perfect. 

Absolutely, thank you everyone for listening and watching our interview today. I will be back with another live podcast soon. So stay in tune. Bye.

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