9 to 5 Wellness
Do you have the knowledge you need to help your organization get the best return on the time and capital invested in employee wellbeing? Are you a busy professional or C-suite leader looking to introduce wellbeing program at your work?
Discover the art and science of helping organizations grow their most important resource, their people. In this podcast we discuss how organizations can utilize the potential of wellbeing programs to deliver high return on investment (ROI) to employers. We talk about the radical impact that holistic employee wellbeing programs can have on overall quality of work and productivity. We will be sharing insights on investing in human capital. Such as:
🌟 What has helped their organizations gain a competitive advantage?
🌟 How they see the future of employee wellbeing?
🌟 Misunderstandings that are out in the corporate market today
🌟 Advice to other leaders to create a happier, healthier, and more productive workplace
Our guests are C-suite leaders, and wellness innovators across the value chain: HR managers, wellness champions, community wellbeing ambassadors, service vendors, and wellness consultants.
9 to 5 Wellness
Leading Without Overgiving - Strategies for High Performers
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In this episode we’re addressing high performers and leaders who routinely overgive—saying yes when their body says no, volunteering for crises, and carrying others’ slack.
🌟 🌟 🌟 If you liked this episode and would like to learn more about wellness training and workshops offered by 9 to 5 Wellness, email us at info@aeshathair.com. You can learn more about our programs at: https://toneandstrengthen.com/workshops-trainings/. 🌟 🌟 🌟
My passion is helping organizations create a culture of wellness, and I do this by setting up health programs that prioritize the most important asset they've got – their employees. Cheers to a healthier and happier journey ahead!
🌟 🌟 🌟 You can learn more about ME- the host at https://www.aeshatahir.com
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Welcome to the Nine to Five Wellness Podcast, a show about corporate wellness solutions with innovators and forward-thinking leaders who are at the forefront of the workplace wellness movement. I'm your host, Aisha here.
Hello and welcome to the nine to five Wellness podcast. Today I wanna talk to all the high performers and leaders about something that has been coming up in my consulting work, and that is leaders keep on giving too much.
So today we are gonna talk about leading without over giving, and I'm gonna give you some strategies for high performers. And if you're a high performer and if you are a high performer, I'm gonna give you some strategies for that.
So I have a couple of questions for you. Do you find yourself saying yes when your body is screaming? No. Are you the first to volunteer for a crisis? The last to leave the office and the one who picks up the slack for everyone else? Hey, I know how that feels because that was me. If you are a high performer, you probably wear your go-to status a badge of honor. But there is a fine line between high impact leadership and overgiving, that dangerous habit of depleting your own energy in the name of being useful. So in today's episode, i'm tearing down the heroic leader myth. I'm gonna be talking about how to set boundaries that actually work. How to shift from, I'll just do it to sustainable delegation and why your overgiving is actually harming your team's growth. So let's dive in.
Let's take a look at what Overgiving is and why we do it. Let's be honest, overgiving isn't just being generous. It's the kind of giving that slowly wears you down. As high performers, we often believe that being the one who makes things easier for everyone else is a strength.
But the reality is it's a protection mechanism. We overgive because we want to maintain control with fear, mediocrity, or believe that if we stop, the whole thing will fall apart.
Maybe you've been the one people turn to the strong one, the capable one. You're good at reading the room, softening your edges, anticipating what's needed before it's asked. But beneath that strength, you have learned to carry more than you were ever meant to. That's exhausting. When leadership becomes synonymous with over-functioning, we start leading from a place of depletion.
We pour from an empty cup. We override what our body is telling us. We disconnect from ourselves in the name of showing up. For others. The tricky part on the outside, it can look like everything is working. But on the inside you are getting burnt out. Here are some key signals of overgiving. First is resentment. You say yes, but you feel bitter about it later. Second, you've made it too easy for others to rely on you setting a standard you can no longer meet. Third, you're too busy doing the work to think about the vision. When a leader overgive, they don't just drain themselves, they rob their team of the opportunity to step up.
One of the biggest mindset shifts for me when I was in this overgiving mode was remembering that leadership isn't about doing more, and it's not all about me. It's about my team members. It's about others. It's about enabling more if you're stepping in constantly, even with good intentions, you're actually taking away growth opportunities from your team.
I had to realize that sometimes holding onto too much is a form of control, rooted in fear not trust, and that's not fair to them or me.
Think of it as servant leadership. Your job is to help others develop the skills and confidence to operate without you if you make yourself. If you make yourself the linchpin, the team can't scale and you burn out in the process, that's a disservice to everyone. Your team, yourself, your company. For many years, like many other leaders I overextended myself in the name of accessibility and support. What I eventually realized is overgiving is rarely generosity. It is a lack of boundaries disguised as leadership.
For me, the turning point was simple. I was so burnt out. I dreaded going to work, not because I didn't love my work, because I do. I love my work. I wouldn't be doing the work that I do if I didn't love it, but I couldn't give anymore. I was exhausted. Learning to lead without overgiving really changed my life. And it involved shifting from a rescuer mindset to an empowering one by setting firm boundaries, delegating effectively, and fostering team autonomy.
Leaders can stop burnout by focusing on outcomes rather than micromanaging, allowing for mistakes and communicating needs clearly. And that's exactly what I started doing. And as a result, this approach helped me build sustainable and trusting teams.
If this is resonating with you, here are a few ways to begin shifting. Notice where you're bracing. Pay attention to when your shoulders are tight, your breath is shallow, or your mind is racing.
That's your body asking for support, not more hustle practice saying not right now. Not everything requires your immediate Yes. creating space to pause before responding can be a game changer. Often our sense of over responsibility is rooted in a story about our worth, often.
Another revelation for me about the fact that I was bracing when I was going into work and I was so tense, was that my sense of over responsibility was rooted in a story about my worth, my identity, or what others will think about me or what others will think or say if I didn't take on the workload. So.
I had to get curious about why I'm doing this, so I would suggest that you should get curious and break this cycle. Second, co-create plans. Work with your team to build the project plan, review it together, ask questions and offer suggestions. This isn't about micromanaging, it's about coaching. It's about mentoring them.
Make space for your team to think critically, make expectations and guardrails clear. Let them know you'll support stretch opportunities and even expect some failure, but you'll be there to make sure it's never failure that breaks anything critical.
And it's important to normalize learning from failure. Make sure you include after action reviews, after your projects. Help them reflect on what went wrong, what worked, how to improve. It enforces that. Mistakes aren't shameful, they're just part of the process. The easiest way to hand off stuff is to look for someone who's already taking some ownership of a process or of the project and give them more ownership. I would recommend that you start small and with low stakes. Just retain a final review for corrections. If it is time sensitive, set the expectation early that you'll need a review at the end.
The key is to pick people based on what they have shown you, not what they're saying. And as a leader, I treated it as I own accountability, but I'm handing off the authority to perform the tasks to my team As I did this a couple of times. I was so surprised by how talented my team was. They were ready to take the workload, and I can assure you that you'll have the same experience.
My last two teams were built from scratch and they weren't picked by me, and I went from owning every process and input to my team, basically running on autopilot.
So you, if you're wondering how do I do that? How do I say these things? Because I think sometimes the language swaps for boundaries and for delegating work. So difficult. So setting boundaries feels uncomfortable because we think it makes us look selfish. But healthy boundaries don't push people away.
They create the space for you to show up fully without resentment. Try some of these language swaps instead of, I'll get it done by tomorrow. Try saying, I can prioritize this for Thursday. Will that work?
Instead of, I'll just do it myself. Try saying, I want to make sure Allison and Fred also get exposure to this. Let's have them take the lead.
When a meeting comes up on your schedule, instead of saying, yes, I can join that meeting. Try saying, could you please send me the notes for that meeting? I need this time to focus on the tax project this week.
So as I wrap this episode up, I wanna summarize what we talked about, that overgiving is a habit, but so is choosing yourself. Your goal isn't to do less, but to do the right things in a way that is sustainable for the long haul, not just for yourself, but also for the organization. If this episode resonated with you, I'd be so grateful if you'd leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.
It helps this show reach more high performers who are ready to do the work differently and become better leaders.
Thank you so much for listening to the podcast today. Until next time, bye.
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