Cheeky Run Club

The comparison trap

• Anna Coldham

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Happy Monday friends! 

This week, we answered a listener question: How do I stop comparing my running to others? We unpack why we compare ourselves to each other, why it’s so common in the running community, our own experiences, and how to overcome it!

 At the end of the episode, we also have some new running recommendations for you—a fun idea for your next getaway and a recipe we are loving!

 

LINKS:

Use our Ultra Violette discount code ‘CHEEKY15’ at checkout on their website

 Our Sydney IWD run will be held on Saturday 8th of March! Keep your eye out for more details on our socials in the coming days.

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Music produced by Hugh Raper. Logo design by Michael Cotellessa. Podcast edited by Kiara Martin.

anna audio:

Run Club recognises that every day we live, work and run on Aboriginal land.

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This episode is brought to you by Ultraviolet. Our skin protection of choice.

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Do,

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Welcome to Cheeky Run Club, the social running podcast and community for your everyday amateur runner. Hello, Phoebe.

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Hello, Anna.

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And hello,

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listeners

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The topic today is actually a question we were asked a few weeks ago and that question is

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it needed its own episode, and that question is,

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How can I stop comparing myself to others? So today we're going to talk about comparison mindset. Why do we do it? Why is it so prevalent in running our own experiences with it? And then some strategies for getting rid of it.

anna audio:

We'll then jump into some running recs but before we do, as always, let's kick it off with our best and worst running adjacent activities.

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running adjacent

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a word in? Pheebs, give me your best.

phoebe audio:

my best was my session on Tuesday.

anna audio:

You say that like you're speaking about

phoebe audio:

My session. Doting. Yeah, my little session.

anna audio:

My little session. It

phoebe audio:

it was, very enjoyable. So the session, I've never done this session before. It was two by 1600 meters, two by 800 meters, two by 400 meters, two by 200 meters, or with 200 meter recovery jog.

anna audio:

Oh, okay. Yeah.

phoebe audio:

I think the idea is that obviously you try and get faster with each distance and by the end for the 400s and the 200s, my legs were really tired and I was trying to go fast cause it was only a shorter rep. I just feel like it was such good 5k training. Like it felt like I was thinking in my head, like this is going to be what it feels like when I'm trying to do my 5k. And it was the first run where I felt maybe a glimmer of. Is my iron level slightly I don't know, I don't know. I

anna audio:

I don't know, I had it the

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this time last week when we recorded, I had just, received my iron infusion and I felt totally

anna audio:

Yeah.

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So that was on a Thursday afternoon. I felt all good Friday, Saturday. And then Sunday, I actually started to feel terrible. And I thought I was coming down with a flu or something. Because I just got this like full body aches and pains. And you'll hear a little bit more about it in my worst run of the week. I couldn't believe how, uncomfortable I felt. you know when you're like sore to touch?

anna audio:

sore to touch?

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achy. And same with

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achy. Yeah, everything hurts.

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Yeah, everything felt uncomfortable. And same on Monday. and then Tuesday I finally woke up and I was like, I feel back to

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normal.

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much. And then in the session itself, I felt quite strong, which I haven't been

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haven't been

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So that was really nice. What was your best running adjacent activity of the

anna audio:

it? Mine was a run. I went down to Port Ferry on the weekends where Mum and Dad live and participated in the Port Ferry Marathon. I did the 10Ks, which was

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sounded like you said participated in the marathon.

anna audio:

Oh,

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the marathon. No you

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you didn't.

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on everyone.

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jokes on everyone. I have been running this whole

phoebe audio:

Yeah, she's been secretly training.

anna audio:

I entered Dave, my husband who has never done a fun run and yeah, would probably argue that. It shouldn't have the word fun in front of it, just in runs in general. but

phoebe audio:

I

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I told him on the three and a half hour car trip down, which was actually, he took it really well. I'd just been told that by the doctor that, yeah, I'd just been told that I wasn't actually allowed to run the full thing, which I think for him, that was nice to know because it was just going to be a walk, run a bit more. Yeah. Yeah. A bit more palatable for the old fella. Um, so we did a walk, jog the whole weekend was so cool. So it's a community run event. there's no, event company. It's literally run by volunteers and mom and dad were out volunteering on course. All of their friends were, just at different time points. The whole town sets it up the day before. And then all of the proceeds go to the local primary

phoebe audio:

Really? Yeah,

anna audio:

And it was so well organized. probably one of the better run events that I've been to. And it was just, it was amazing. And everyone was so nice. You could, it just had this really warm, fuzzy feeling. Um, so yeah, it was so fun.

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Is it true that it was Dave's Valentine's Day present?

anna audio:

It is true, yes.

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and did he think that was a good

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A good worthy present.

anna audio:

he didn't comment, but my argument back would be that he didn't give me one. So something is better than nothing.

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nothing. That is true. I wonder if he would disagree with that.

anna audio:

Yeah, true.

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is better than

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He's like, please, next time just get me nothing.

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on what the thing is. Yeah,

anna audio:

Yeah. But yes, that was my, my best run of the week. Yeah. Now tell me about your worst.

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My worst

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was

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was

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on Sunday. as I alluded to before, Sunday I started feeling really achy and like I was maybe getting sick. And I actually woke up in the morning and I was supposed to do my run. First thing and I woke up and I just felt like I was feeling off. I was like, Oh, I don't know what's going on. And I actually looked at my aura and it was saying Oh, your heart rate's really elevated and your temperature's up and stuff. And I was like, Oh, okay. This kind of aligns with, I'm not feeling well. It's procrastinating, going for the run. And then it started raining outside. And then, I had messaged my brother Joe being like, do you want to come for a run just to try and get me some accountability. And he's like, no, I'm at the gym, but this afternoon. perfect. I'll do it this afternoon. But then by the time the afternoon rolled around, I felt even worse. I felt a bit nauseous

anna audio:

like Yeah.

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yeah. And so I was like, I'm not going to

anna audio:

So you didn't go for a run? So,

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I didn't do my long run and I just thought I'll just do 60 minutes, 60 minutes, sorry, 30 minutes, really easy.

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And to totally

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how you feel. And

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totally just see how I feel. with Joe and Sean came as well. it's a rare treat to get Sean on a run

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Yeah!

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So I was very

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Who is this guy? And

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and I spent the whole run running three meters behind them, just feeling so shocking. I couldn't believe how bad I felt and they were chatting away and I couldn't even join in the conversation. I was just like, this run needs to end. And. It obviously didn't and I immediately was like, Oh my God, I'm getting sick. I had a shower, got in my dressing gown, like this is it. But then as I found out apparently it's a reasonably common side effect of iron infusions., but I felt lying on the couch after that 6k run, I felt like I'd run a marathon. That was the pain that I had. It was crazy, but I'm kind of relieved that it wasn't

anna audio:

a flu. Actually, the flu. Yeah, yeah. And then Monday, did you feel better?

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I rested Monday, because I woke up, I didn't know this yet, that it was an iron thing. I genuinely thought I was getting sick, and I woke up Monday and I still felt terrible, so I just didn't run at all. Yeah.

anna audio:

I just didn't run at all. Yeah. Nice! She just tapped herself on the

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tapped herself on

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Point!

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back.

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Hey, hey, hey!

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And then, yeah, and then by Monday night I was feeling way better, and I'd learnt about the iron thing. So I was like, I'm all good for Tuesday session, I'll just take it a bit easier. Yeah, exactly. what about you?

anna audio:

see I'm struggling, I'm struggling with these

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come on

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worst runs because I'm not really doing that much. Every single step I'm just like, this is the best moment of my life. I'm running

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We're running adjacent activities that can be. Cooking, recovering, sleeping,

anna audio:

Uh, life in general. Yeah, true. No, I will say this is like a bit of a cop out, but I'm really not into lamb at the moment. Lamb is just not doing it for me. And Dave, my husband's favorite meat is lamb. He doesn't actually know this. So sorry for next Monday when you're listening. But last night he was like, yum, let's have this lamb. It'll be so good. And we cooked it and just the smell of it. I was like. Oh my gosh, that almost sounded like a sheep.

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Ha ha ha. A baby sheep. Meh.

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Anyway, we had lamb and it was It was just so gross. I put two spoonfuls on my plate and just covered it in mashed potatoes so he wouldn't realize that I wasn't actually eating it.

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Your worst running adjacent activity of the week was lamb that your husband cooked you. Ha ha ha. Brutal.

anna audio:

Oh gosh. That is honestly probably my worst ever worst run.

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Did you? Yeah. Are you okay? You just asked

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okay? Yeah, I'm

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ate me. I think it

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Phoebe is a Vego, we should preface, which we spoke about last week, but just any new

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You've already

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listening. So,

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so yes, I haven't eaten red meat in, I don't, I think I've been vegetarian for like seven or eight

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my ideas.

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and so I am seeing a dietitian tomorrow. Jess Rothwell, friend

anna audio:

Oh, friend of the show. We love her.

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so, so excited. I'll report back on that next week, but I'm going to do a proper check in with her. But in the meantime, I've been thinking, well, I don't know if iron supplements are going to work for me. Like, A, I don't know if my body's absorbing them that well. And B, they just haven't found a way to make it work. Yep. And so I've been thinking maybe an option would be to have red meat every now and then. Anyway, so Sean and Jo, normally on a Sunday night, we make rice paper rolls and the tofu.

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Delicious.

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Delicious, everyone loves them. Probably no one as much as

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much as they do. Everyone. Sean and Jo are having their worst run of the week on a Sunday night. Oh, tofu rice paper rolls again.

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Definitely their worst run of the week.

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the

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the week.

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but the last two Sundays We've done, barbecued lamb and I've had just a bit of it and we've had it in like a wrap with Greek salad and stuff and chips, like made, made some chips. Yeah, it's been okay. I've never been repulsed by meat, you know, some vegetarians actually

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hate meat,

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by it. I've never been disgusted. I used to really like meat. so it's been weird. It's been like a weird experience, but it's been fine. And I've just been telling myself, I kind of wanted to try it before I saw Jess, so I could know, is this going to be, am

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Yeah, it's actually viable.

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And like, how's it going to sit with me? And think it's okay.

anna audio:

That's good. I mean, that's pretty, because lamb, as we've just mentioned, it's a pretty pungent flavor.

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not annoyed because they, Joe and Sean, I feel like both said. Lamb is going to be the best, lamb is the nicest, the least offensive. And now I'm like, wait, what would you,

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day.

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Just a steak?

anna audio:

No. Well, so I feel like if I lived with you, I would make. a bolognese or something just with like lean

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don't know if I could do it. Oh yeah, like a

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meat where you don't even you actually don't taste it and make the sauce really delicious and add heaps of veggies and everything so it's

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I'll tell, I'll tell

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but i reckon i would do that

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But I don't think it's gonna be dark.

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Or even in a lasagna or something, something where you're not really going to notice it as much. But having, I don't know, I feel like that's like raw dogging it a little bit.

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that's like raw

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lamb.

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a little bit. Is it? Oh, okay, okay, well,

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school, but I feel like we'll it.

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The Comparison Trap. So excited to talk about this. We have been doing a lot of reading in this and the way that we're going to structure this conversation is we'll talk about why actually do we compare ourselves to others in the first place and specifically why is this so prevalent in running? Like I do feel like it's more common or prevalent in running than in other areas of

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Yeah, definitely.

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Then we'll talk a little bit about why actually is it a problem and our own experiences with this and then we'll finish off with, of course, how to get rid of

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it. Yeah, so, starting with why do we compare ourselves to others? have you heard of the social comparison theory?

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I've heard of it. Well, I have now, as I'm reading about it. As

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reading. super interesting. the best description for this phenomenon is it's a psychological theory that explains how people compare themselves to others. to evaluate their abilities and opinions. Basically, it's the shortcut our brains take to make sense of ourselves and evaluate our opinions and abilities by comparing ourselves really liked learning

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I really liked learning that. That it's just something our brain does to help ourselves make sense of the world. Because it almost makes it feel less like this.

anna audio:

It's quite comforting,

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Yeah, it's quite comforting to understand actually what, all your brain is doing is really trying to be like, how do I fit within all of this? And the easiest way for me to tell is to look at the people around me and how they are relative to me. reason this way of assessing the world can be problematic is your assessment of your own status is dependent on the group with whom you're comparing yourself. So for example, obviously, if you're comparing yourself with a group that is better than you, you'll have a negative perception of yourself. If you're comparing yourself with a group that's worse than you. and then you'll have a positive, perception of yourself. So it's actually not an accurate assessment because it's just completely dependent on who you're actually comparing yourself to. another thing I read here, which I thought was really interesting, is that women tend to engage in more upward social comparisons than men. So men still do engage in upward social comparisons. So where you're comparing yourself to people who are like,

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commas,

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better than you in that particular area, but women do it way more than

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in it way more than men. No, you know what? I think it's the opposite. Because

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No, you know what? I think it's the opposite because I don't think ego always actually reflects self esteem necessarily, but I think it would please your ego to compare yourself to people in a lower

anna audio:

Lower. Yeah.

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than you. And so you're naturally going to want to pay more attention to that. But, it is quite interesting to look at this theory of social comparison theory is actually one of the key theories that explains. Why social media contributes to poor mental health. Mm. Because the picture that people put up of themselves online is obviously so curated. Yeah. And because we're naturally comparing ourselves to everything we we see there, we can never compete with that. Yeah. And so the biggest impact of that is on people's self-esteem. So when they measure, a whole bunch of different things. It impacts our mood, our outlook, and our beliefs about ourselves. But yeah, mostly it impacts people's self-esteem.

anna audio:

Yeah. And it's that constant repetition.'cause obviously social media is just people's highlight reel. So each time you're opening it and you're seeing something, it's a, they're better than me. They're doing life better than me. They're doing, they're

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more likes than me. And, and it's what you pay attention It's like what your brain pays attention to without you even noticing. And we'll talk about Strava a lot as well. But, you can scroll past every run that's not as fast as yours. And you'll focus on the one

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that you're like, Whoa,

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You're like, well, how are they, how are they doing that?

anna audio:

We will also note though, it isn't always a bad thing. It can be super motivating some areas. And also dependent on, yourself and where you're at with your own esteem. but it can be that, you see other people

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that

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just like you doing something. So you kind of think, well, why can't I? And I love that aspect of the

phoebe audio:

Yeah, I completely agree and I feel like we've seen that a little bit with this boom of running is so much of it has been down to people seeing their friends who they think are similar to them from a running ability

anna audio:

perspective,

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then all of a sudden start running and get into it and become runners and then they're like, Oh, well, if you can, then I

anna audio:

and get it and they're like, Oh, if can, then I can too. then the other person that was sitting at home or that maybe just didn't have quite the confidence to be like, I can go after this. Then kind of flows down to the next person that is already an elite runner, but maybe it's like, oh, I can actually have children whilst I'm running. I don't have to wait till my career is

phoebe audio:

is done. And also once I've, yeah, once I've had kids,

anna audio:

kids, yeah. Yeah, I

phoebe audio:

Yeah. I wonder, I feel like it could be helpful in getting started or believing that you can do something. But also then if your experience is different. Cause obviously issue with social comparison theory, we are all different and we have different bodies. And I mean, this is specific to running, but different bodies and different backgrounds and so on. So someone else might be able to return to running and then you might not. And then in that situation, it might become a bad thing because then you're negatively comparing yourself to

anna audio:

yeah,

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we were just talking about Instagram and Strava, a topic that I want us to talk about that we haven't written down is how might we running platform be unintentionally contributing to this what could we do better? the whole reason we exist is to help people fall in love with running. I would hate the idea that anyone ever looked at our content and it made them feel

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lesser

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lesser, or whatever that looks like.

anna audio:

I suppose maybe from a I mean, yeah, I don't really know the answer. It's hard because we obviously have very subjective views. But I feel like maybe from Instagram that might be the case. It might be like, oh my gosh, they do a podcast. They run, they have jobs. But probably if you listen to the podcast, you know

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it's probably good downward comparison

anna audio:

and maybe it would make people feel better.

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Let's let's come, let's talk through the conversation and then at the end, let's revisit that point of like, what can we do to make sure that we're never, contributing to this. Okay.

anna audio:

So, Pheebs, why is it so prevalent in running and even more so than in other areas of life? Yes, okay.

phoebe audio:

I'm so excited to talk about this because. Well, we did some research and we also just had a bit of a think about what could be impacting this because I don't know about you, but I feel like I struggle with this in running way more than other areas of my life. Like, of course, to an extent in things like careers and so on, but running, historically, it has felt way more stark for me. And one of the, theories as to why this could be comes down to, like, how we then we can actually define success in, and I don't even mean us as individuals, like you can have your own definition of success and you should. But if society defines success as tangible results, e. g. faster times, longer distances, better splits, that just means that by definition that's the thing that you're comparing yourself with others for. It's not who's having the most fun.

anna audio:

Yeah. Yeah. And I guess running, is different from other aspects of life in the sense that it is quite quantifiable activity, like the times, differences, paces, and rankings, they're all measurable metrics. You don't go around doing a survey after you're finished dinner, being like, who enjoyed this experience of dining out more than the other whereas it's such an easy comparison, even if you're running with people, even it can be down to the point where you can comparing heart rates or something it's so accessible and I feel like. That is why we, often compare ourselves to people who are, maybe doing similar things, but who are achieving different results.

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running inherently, it's easier to compare yourself

anna audio:

others. So

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So it just is going to lend itself to that kind of thinking. Like think about something like art or creativity these really subjective things, like you said, like cooking food, like whatever. It's, it's much, much harder. Whereas every part of, and again, how much of how society currently defines success in running is based on those metrics.

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Yeah.

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another Do you think there's a translation between comparing yourself to the people you run with or around you, but then in different facets of life, which you don't do with other friends?

phoebe audio:

yeah, what, what do you mean?

anna audio:

Well, I don't know if it's because I am around the people who I run with probably the most but I feel like then sometimes it's transitioning into oh you're amazing at work I should be

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amazing

anna audio:

at work or that kind of thing but I don't I don't think I would have that same comparison with my school friends. Oh

phoebe audio:

that's really interesting. Yeah. Well, number one, okay. It could be just because of how much time we all spend together. Number two, and this is one of the other points here is I think the kind of people that running attracts, they're competitive people, they're often perfectionists, high performers that can create a culture of a little bit more. Competition pressure to keep up with the people. Just almost the, like

anna audio:

The vibe, yeah,

phoebe audio:

the run clubs or whatever it is. And I, I don't think that's always the case, but generally it attracts Yeah. People who set big goals themselves and all that sort of thing. And so, so maybe it's

anna audio:

themselves, that sort of thing.

phoebe audio:

I think so. So it, it's like they're high achievers and mm-hmm And then, yeah, well, the other factor here that we mentioned before, but we can't not really talk about the role that Strava and Instagram plays here. Yeah,

anna audio:

Yeah, Strava, I'll chat to a little bit, which actually is funny because I'm off it

phoebe audio:

which I want, well, we can talk

anna audio:

that is, yeah, but that is pretty much a comparison thing because I don't want to compare myself to what other people are doing because it's like a jealousy kind of thing, which I guess maybe is a little bit

phoebe audio:

different. Well, I was going to say, I feel like to be fair to you, it's probably more a FOMO thing than a

anna audio:

thing.

phoebe audio:

I doubt you'd be looking being like, oh look how

anna audio:

be looking and being like, Oh, look how fast they're all going. Exactly. It's so good because it's such a, useful resource and tells you so much. and it's also why as you've noted, which I agree with, it's why it's so good when people do pictures or captions and tell the story about the run rather than it just solely focusing on the statistics. So automatically you've got running, which. You're more likely to compare yourself to others too, anyway. And then you've also got access to people's data, which, if you think about it, other aspects of life, you don't have those personal details. And whoever you follow, you can scroll through and look exactly, you can kind of know how they felt on their run today without even talking to

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them. It's interesting how almost like Strava, which is so massive within running communities. Can shape what we pay attention to as runners and what we care about imagine if and I'm not saying Strava should I love Strava But imagine if Strava was designed so you actually never saw data of distance speed any of those things Of anyone else it was just like well It was pictures and a description on who you ran with imagine how or if or how that would change

anna audio:

But I feel like that's kind of what Instagram was designed for. Yeah. It's stories and pictures. But then that's

phoebe audio:

yeah, sure you still get, but I guess the difference is okay hypothetically it would still be every run you did you had to post. Like, you know, all

anna audio:

all your Yeah, yeah. It wasn't

phoebe audio:

It's like it gets uploaded automatically, but it's more about like the route that you took and who, whatever. Yeah.

anna audio:

Yeah. That would be cool.

phoebe audio:

noticed, you know, how in Strava you can see it gives you activities from a year ago. Yeah. I love it. Whenever my activity from a year ago has a

anna audio:

picture. A photo, yeah.

phoebe audio:

I, then it takes me back to that run. I'm like, Oh, that's amazing. When it doesn't, I look at it. I'm like, how fast was I going? Yeah. What was I

anna audio:

Yeah. What was I

phoebe audio:

two years ago?

anna audio:

What session did I

phoebe audio:

Yeah,

anna audio:

yeah, exactly. Yeah.

phoebe audio:

And we should actually talk about this with running, is it's not just comparing with others, it's comparing with past versions of yourself. For me, that's probably more

anna audio:

Prohibit comparing yourself to other

phoebe audio:

people. Yeah. Yeah.

anna audio:

and I feel like so many people would be able to relate with that. Yeah, definitely. I would be able to if I gave myself permission to look, but I'm not

phoebe vid:

Yeah.

anna audio:

for that exact reason. Well, not exactly, but like, that's part of the reason. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

phoebe audio:

well, let's, we'll talk more about our own experiences in a second, but briefly, let's retouch on running influences or, or running on social media. I mean,

anna audio:

obviously

phoebe audio:

obviously the problem with this is what we were talking about earlier, like people present a certain. version of themselves on social media because that typically performs

anna audio:

typically performs well. Yeah, and we're guilty of that too. Yeah. We try and be authentic, but you're still, you're still sort of Yeah, it's interesting to think about because

phoebe audio:

Yeah, that's interesting thing about because I, when you first said that I was like, oh, do we? Because I feel like We try and just do something that feels totally honest, but at the same time, you're right. We choose the, um, cuts that maybe we feel like we, like, portray us in a better light.

anna audio:

feel like we Definitely. Like, there

phoebe audio:

there have definitely been runs that, aren't that pretty, and then you show the Well, I mean, every run's pretty, but

anna audio:

it's

phoebe audio:

You show them the most, the nicest part of the run. Yeah. that is interesting. Like,

anna audio:

I even remember because, I don't know, I think I was just getting a little bit of FOMO the other night. So I was scrolling through our Instagram just looking at old videos of us running. And just being like, oh gosh,

phoebe audio:

I don't

anna audio:

could go back to that. But there's one video, which it was a fun morning, it was when we went to the Yarra flat.

phoebe audio:

and

anna audio:

It was so

phoebe audio:

my god, I remember

anna audio:

freezing cold, but you watch the video and you think this is so wholesome. They look like they're having the absolute best time. Not a care in the world. Like it's funny we're laughing because we have the jumpers and it was, it was so funny, but it doesn't capture the

phoebe audio:

That was the coldest I've

anna audio:

it was. Disgustingly cold. And we were freezing for hours after. But it's even watching that, you like, kind of watch it with rose colored glasses on. Then you're like, actually, in reality, it was really, really fun. But also, there were parts of it that weren't so fun.

phoebe audio:

Yeah, exactly. No, I think that's a really good point. And I do want us to think about how we can make sure we

anna audio:

make sure we don't get

phoebe audio:

Because, we follow running influencers on Instagram who do cool running content. And definitely so many of them, I'm just like, wow, they lead these, every run they do is amazing. They just have so much fun. it's probably not true.

anna audio:

Yeah, I, I mean, I feel like I've told you before, but sometimes I feel like the more people make their lives look. Fantastic on Instagram. They're probably less happy they are, but that's a opinion.

phoebe audio:

I'll take from Anna,

anna audio:

go.

phoebe vid:

Do,

anna audio:

something that we don't chat about enough is skincare for runners. Day in and day out, our skin cops the elements with wind, heat, rain, coldness, and most importantly, sun. And we think it deserves some protection.

phoebe audio:

So, we've been wearing Ultraviolet Sun Protection on all our runs. They have a range of ultra silky, barely there serum and cream formulas, actives and broad spectrum protection. I

anna audio:

particularly loving the Future Fluid which is an SPF 50 plus super light mineral sunscreen, or skin screen as our friends at Ultraviolet call it, for running and work and beyond. So much so I actually walked around the change room after swimming this morning telling everybody to try it. Weird or friendly, you be the judge. It

phoebe audio:

is so, so this is like, the Future Bullet is like, the lightest of their range, I think. And it like, just dissolves under your skin

anna audio:

and it like just dissolves it and

phoebe audio:

And

anna audio:

It is, it is. It's just like

phoebe audio:

never

anna audio:

of

phoebe audio:

makeup,

anna audio:

something

phoebe audio:

ever since been wearing it, people are like, Oh, your looks so nice. Use the code CHEEKY15 at checkout for 15 percent off. Happy running!

anna audio:

Always read the label.

phoebe audio:

Follow directions for use. Avoid

anna audio:

prolonged high risk sun exposure.

phoebe audio:

Wear a hat, protective clothing, and sunglasses when exposed to

anna audio:

Reapply frequently.

phoebe vid:

Do,

phoebe audio:

maybe let's talk a little bit more about why is this comparison mindset so problematic and specifically outline experiences with it?

anna audio:

Yes. So number one, it can majorly detract from the joy of running. We've spoken about our running wise so much and whether it be social for our own benefit, the way it makes us feel, or pursuing a certain goal. But I feel like as soon as you start comparing yourself to others, it just zaps. The joy from

phoebe audio:

it.

anna audio:

and it doesn't matter who you are, I even, not that I've ever spoken to one of them about it, but I feel like you could ask a professional runner, someone that you think would just

phoebe audio:

never

anna audio:

never feel like that, but I'm sure they, sometimes in races or whatever, they would be feeling exactly the same way it doesn't matter who you are.

phoebe audio:

That's almost one of the biggest insights, which actually I think can help you get out of it, is the realization that it never ends. There's never a point where there aren't people who are better runners than you, who you're like, how are they running? How are they that good? We should be similar or, It's an endless thing. So it's you need to find a way to stop it yourself because otherwise it doesn't matter how good you are. there's

anna audio:

to always be running. There's always going to be someone that's better than

phoebe audio:

better than you. Um, yeah, I do. I completely agree. I feel like it's almost the single biggest, influence that can Get you in the wrong headspace with running in terms of just comparing yourself, it's the antithesis almost of like why you should be running. I think the other problem with that is as a result of that, you can push yourself beyond where your limits should actually be. And so I feel like whether this is like. Oh yeah, these people are doing this sort of training, so I should be able to, or I should be able to keep up with these people on this run, or whatever that is. you can make bad decisions as a result of it.

anna audio:

make bad decisions as a result of it. Oh yeah, I think so.

phoebe audio:

yeah, I completely think so. I think the culture of the group that you run with. Can have a really big impact on this because what are they paying attention to? What do they value? we can talk about it a little bit when we talk about ways to manage it if you're really struggling with it But I definitely think having a look at the people around you and how do they talk about running? Are they constantly comparing themselves

anna audio:

others? Or are

phoebe audio:

or are they constantly coming back to What it brings them and the joy that it brings them and so

anna audio:

yeah. I feel like we are very lucky in that respect feel like we've got a very like healthy group in the sense that, there's not that sort of toxic comparison or outwardly. Anyway, we're never really talking about times. It's more, how did your session go? How did you feel kind of thing? I half the time, I wouldn't even know what paces people are running or what their PB for anything is, which I think is actually a really good thing. Cause it's not. About that whatsoever. I agree. It's like just not the reason why we all kind of do it. Obviously we enjoy chasing goals and everything, but it's not the main

phoebe audio:

the topic of conversation, to be fair, I reckon a lot of run clubs that have popped up in the last few years would also not have a huge issue with this. They're so social, they're like rock up, run, have coffee. I have no doubt that all of us struggle with again the comparison itself but I just feel like the culture of these run clubs can be so, they look so positive and fun like I don't know maybe that's an incorrect assumption but I do, I definitely

anna audio:

from Instagram, it seems like

phoebe audio:

Yes, oh my god true, maybe they're actually all really unhappy,

anna audio:

yeah, no, I'm sure they're not. But it is funny'cause that's why we

phoebe audio:

Yeah, that is

anna audio:

that. Yeah. but no, I do agree. It definitely seems as if people are there for the chats and. The run as well, but also the coffee after. Yeah. What is your own experience with comparison?

phoebe audio:

Well, I would say, the place where this is most detrimental for me is comparing myself to my past self. Yeah. And not necessarily people around me. Mm-hmm Um, Especially when I'm in a down patch and not doing well, that's the easiest comparison because I know what it felt like previously and it's not helpful to be like, I used to be able to do this. It was like, well, you're not doing it right now and that's okay. You're not there yet. But, I reckon I struggle with that more than comparing with friends. I also think I would compare more with people that I don't know. Than people that I do I might see someone's like, yeah, Instagram or Strava or a race time and be like, whoa, how did they do

anna audio:

that? You know what, I reckon

phoebe audio:

you know what I reckon with our running friends, it tends to be much more a positive source of inspiration. I think I had said this, but last year when you were training so much and just running so well, I found it so inspiring because I was like, Oh my gosh, like I can, I've run with Anna before, like if Anna's doing that and same with our friends, Nos and Leash, when they run, it doesn't make me feel bad about myself. It makes me feel like this is amazing.

anna audio:

They can do it,

phoebe audio:

do that one day. Like, and I think that's

anna audio:

such a

phoebe audio:

powerful thing it gives you a bit of self belief and I would say that for a lot of our friends, whereas it's more people that I don't know and I don't know their journeys or whatever. And I'm like, Oh, how are you doing

anna audio:

Who are you?

phoebe audio:

Yeah. Have you done that? What's your training been

anna audio:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're almost like more inquisitive because it's unknown, I guess.

phoebe audio:

that's it. Maybe you don't know their stories. And what about you?

anna audio:

,if I'm running uninjured, not sick, whatever, I just couldn't run consistently.

phoebe audio:

I don't

anna audio:

really feel like I struggle with comparing myself to others in a negative sense. I

phoebe audio:

do it in a

anna audio:

compare, but it's always in a positive because I'm like, Oh no, because I,

phoebe audio:

No, because

anna audio:

no, because I would see something and I'm like, they're doing it. I can do that too. Kind of thing. Whereas in times like what I'm in now, I find it hard because I'm like, how are they doing that? When I'm also trying to do the right things, but I can't do any of it Or if when I'm injured I often sort of think I, I do the gym, I do my rehab. This person doesn't, but they can still run. why is it? I don't know. It's in that sense, but it's not necessarily performance based. It's more just I'm jealous that you get to do the act of

phoebe audio:

Yes, and why can't

anna audio:

And why can't I? But when I'm running, I don't at all. Yeah.

phoebe audio:

that resonates so much. When you're injured or when you're struggling, that's when It almost pops up all around you. All these people are like doing amazingly and, but you're right. When you're like improving and feeling good then you wouldn't really think

anna audio:

Yeah, yeah. Or if I do, I feel like it's in that more positive sense, where

phoebe audio:

like, yes, exactly.

anna audio:

determined and encouraged to keep going and

phoebe audio:

Yeah.

anna audio:

better kind of thing. that's my experience.

phoebe audio:

was very interesting. How do we get rid of

anna audio:

So, there are two kind of things that you can do. you can focus internally and then externally. We'll go over the internal parts first. So, I think the first thing is to actually just be aware of it. So, notice it, understand it, and I actually think name it as well. Yeah. Which can be overwhelming or a little bit daunting to begin with, but I feel like even by doing that, you're almost getting the power back in yourself.

phoebe audio:

I completely agree. I think it becomes so much less scary when you're like, Oh, I know what I'm

anna audio:

what I'm

phoebe audio:

comparing myself to others. Yeah. It's a shortcut my brain's taking

anna audio:

My brain's taking it. Yeah. A

phoebe audio:

Silly little brain.

anna audio:

little brain, hee hee hee.

phoebe audio:

Um, yeah. Totally. And then I feel like, yeah. Um, the step beyond that once you have become aware of it is you try and write that, thought pattern. And so a few different ways that we can do this. one is actually coming back to your own running why, which I feel like we're such a broken record with running, running why, but I'll never stop talking about it because it's so important. And so basically come back to what is your own definition of success, focus on your own personal progress to that definition and how, On top of that, the challenge is really how can you make that as front of mind to you as seeing other people's performance on Strava? if you, you know that Strava is going to be working against you a little bit in this sense, and Instagram.

anna audio:

and Instagram,

phoebe audio:

And so what can you bring into your life that helps you re center on your, running why

anna audio:

running on your Yeah. As possible. Yeah. we spoke about it the other week with the addicted to running thing, but they're those really tiny little hits of dopamine that you get by scrolling or seeing stuff. Yeah. But also, I guess it's maybe trying to find if you are struggling at that point in time with comparing yourself to others. It's like, okay, well maybe try and get you a little dopamine hit elsewhere. Mm-hmm go on. Pinterest. I

phoebe audio:

totally. And like, almost like, if your definition of success is I want running to improve my, mental health or my like energy at work, then could you start tracking in your private notes on Strava? How do I feel after

anna audio:

feel about this run?

phoebe audio:

reorient your attention to that. So you're looking at your own personal progress. It kind of comes back to what you were saying before with, when you don't compare yourself, it's when you're on your own journey and feeling like you're doing well. It's that's gonna be a bit of an antidote against looking

anna audio:

All of the other,

phoebe audio:

focused on your own.

anna audio:

yeah, and I think gratitude as well. So like it brings you back to how cool it is just to be running and centers yourself in a sense. I also think it helps with the self obsession because you're being grateful for the running act grateful for. Something that's not yourself, like it's not oh my gosh, I'm so good. Yes. It's like, this is so sick. Like I get to go and do this. In the nature of like maybe with friends, maybe without, maybe with your headphones in, I don't know.

phoebe audio:

Yeah. Yeah. I completely agree. sometimes we just need to not get over ourselves a bit, but just like stop thinking about ourselves. And I mean, it seems there's more research indicating that us being too, absorbed with our own selves can be the root of more challenges of mental health problems. So and with something like this, you know what the ultimate, thing to do, almost, if you're really struggling, is go and ask someone in your life who

anna audio:

yes, I love this! is

phoebe audio:

what's my PB for this distance? Your partner, like your best friend, whatever. If they don't run, I can guarantee they will have no idea. They won't care. And it's such a good reframe of Oh, I'm so absorbed with this data point. Yeah. That is so irrelevant in the

anna audio:

Yeah, in a sense,

phoebe audio:

Yeah. Humbling but helpful.

anna audio:

I remember Dave has said it a couple of times. If I've been a bit nervous for a race or a bit disappointed with how it went. And he means this in a loving way, but he's like Your life does not change. I think I've said this on the podcast before. He's like, your life does not change if you round a minute faster or a minute slower. He's like, literally nobody cares.

phoebe audio:

cares. We need to get, we need to get Dave to record a minute long voice note that we

anna audio:

they might be. I, he means it in a nice way, but I feel like for some people demotivating.

phoebe audio:

be quite deep., so there's some of the like the internal factors you can control. But then there are also some external factors, which again, if you're really struggling with this, you could consider.

anna audio:

So, limit your triggers, A. G., Strava, even your watch if needed. Like, if you're really, really struggling, just, and to what you were saying before about comparing to your old self just don't wear your watch. It's fine, just get out there, you're still doing the same thing.

phoebe audio:

same thing. You know what? On that, I reckon this morning, I went for a run this morning and I just felt really rubbish. And I was running was slow for me. And I should have just not had my watch on, in retrospect. I got out, I went for a run, that's all that matters. And it actually did not matter at all what pace I

anna audio:

I was

phoebe audio:

yet I let my looking at the pace Checking in every K, being like, why am I going so, why does this feel so hard to go this

anna audio:

Yeah. Yeah. It's so, it's hard. Especially because you're always in the habit of doing it. and even if you're limiting triggers for a little bit, it's not as though you have to do it forever, if you can address that you're struggling a lot at the moment, get off whatever is making you or thinking that is exacerbating, that comparison.

phoebe audio:

Definitely. And then, yeah, maybe final one here is just, we spoke about this briefly before, but with your environment, surround yourself with supportive people. Think about the kind of conversations you have with your running friends. Think about how your running group might be feeding into this. What kind of environment is it? How can you help contribute to that environment being a little bit less potentially competitive?

anna audio:

Yeah. I think it is really important who you surround yourself with. And maybe, you are feeling like you're comparing yourself, I mean, I do reckon that most people comparing themselves to

phoebe audio:

going on. Yeah. Like this. Have a chat. Like what's going on. Like I said, I, mean, I do reckon that most people would be comparing themselves to people that they don't know. Maybe message the person who, if you, if you have something, if you're listening right now and you're thinking, I have this one person that I'm always comparing myself to.

anna audio:

to.

phoebe audio:

Know

phoebe vid:

That would

phoebe audio:

be pretty, pretty weird. Maybe don't do that. All right, well I hope that was helpful. I found that

anna audio:

really helpful. Oh, okay. Well

phoebe audio:

Oh, okay. Well then the final question is how can we make sure that we are never contributing to an environment where people. Feel like they're comparing themselves.

anna audio:

something

phoebe audio:

Cause you know something that we are still not that sure about, and we don't really know how to approach, is like talking about our own times. And, and that sort of thing. We've never really known would, would talking about our own times be for races or runs, whatever, be interesting or paces, be interesting. Or would it just, would people immediately be like, Oh, I'm faster or slower or whatever?

phoebe vid:

Yeah,

anna audio:

cause you don't, we don't really want to

phoebe vid:

know.

anna audio:

Exacerbate those comparison feelings. Yeah, I don't know, I would be interested to know what the listeners think, because I've always sort of shied away from it. I think because of that, and also because this podcast isn't about our running times, it really doesn't matter. We're all amateur runners and we're all kind of doing it for the same reasons.

phoebe audio:

and I guess that comes back to how does culture define or how does society define success in running? I feel like if we are constantly talking about it. about paces, then that reinforces that idea that that's what's important. Whereas if we're talking about

anna audio:

talking about

phoebe audio:

the lamb that Dave made you that he don't like,

phoebe vid:

no, but like

phoebe audio:

then hopefully that, oh no, but like talking about like our friendships around running and all those

anna audio:

things, hopefully

phoebe audio:

hopefully that keeps, a different message

anna audio:

it.

phoebe audio:

What does success look

anna audio:

success

phoebe audio:

what about on Instagram? Cause, okay, there are some influencers, running influencers on Instagram who I think do a really good job at portraying like realistic running.

anna audio:

Diaries, yeah. Clearly.

phoebe audio:

Bowden. Bowden, yeah. Yeah, she's

anna audio:

really, really good. But I think the problem there is, sometimes, it becomes a bit exaggerated or forced in a sense and it, it becomes, yeah, which I don't like either. because at the end of the day, whatever you're doing, you're still thinking to film it.

phoebe audio:

Yeah. Yeah.

anna audio:

it can't really be, I don't, we've spoken about this before, like when something really bad is happening or not really bad, but you don't really think to get your phone out and be like, Oh, I'm going to film

phoebe audio:

It's not

anna audio:

So it's kind of hard to. Maybe we're just wired. Not

phoebe audio:

true because if something bad happens, it is so far from my instinct to film myself and talk about it.

anna audio:

I didn't see a video of you on our Instagram on Sunday night when your

phoebe audio:

just

anna audio:

Maybe you should have. Yeah, let us know.

phoebe audio:

let us know, give us some feedback. And if we ever do something that helps, let us know as well.

anna audio:

know as

phoebe audio:

shall we do our running

anna audio:

All right. You promise me something big. So let's

phoebe vid:

didn't.

phoebe audio:

not fair.

anna audio:

let's hear it.

phoebe audio:

I think that, you should kick us

anna audio:

off

phoebe audio:

because I'm worried that mine will be

anna audio:

Okay. So mine is related to my best run of the week which was the rain port ferry for anyone who has already forgotten,

phoebe audio:

Yep.

anna audio:

and that is to get your friends and go for a weekend away and do a fun run. It doesn't necessarily have to be super expensive and you fly somewhere, go in the country somewhere, even just do it as a day trip. Some of our friends on Sunday as well I think went up to Beaconsfield which is about an hour ish out of Melbourne and did a trail run all together and then went to the bakery and it looked so fun and so wholesome and

phoebe vid:

It was a,

phoebe audio:

was an

anna audio:

yeah sorry it was an organized yeah I think it was a race. Um,

phoebe audio:

two of them ended up on the

anna audio:

yeah, good girls.

phoebe audio:

Yeah, go

anna audio:

Don't compare yourself though.

phoebe vid:

babe. Yeah.

anna audio:

but honestly,

phoebe audio:

had lots of fun.

anna audio:

but it's so much, it is just so much fun. And even reflecting now, I feel like some of the best weekends away I've had, when we've gone on with gal pals. I love it! I like a good one, Ann. Okay, mine is meal

phoebe audio:

it! I'll have to book one

anna audio:

Because I've

phoebe audio:

mine is meal prep related. Because I've been working on my meal prep, I've invented a recipe, which is, which is, no, no, no, no, no. So I wanted to have something that I could Quickly eat before or after a run or like between meetings at work or whatever it is. And a few weeks ago I had, I'd somehow not eaten my bananas for the week and I had four overripe bananas and I

anna audio:

other week.

phoebe audio:

I'll make banana something or other. And I don't get joy from following recipes. It doesn't bring

anna audio:

feel good. And that

phoebe audio:

want, and that is not because I'm a good cook. It's just because it's just boring to me to look at a recipe and follow that. Much more fun to mix some things together. A little science experiment. Anyway, so I invented this, I just like mushed up bananas. I added protein powder, flour, eggs, heaps of honey. oats, just whatever I could find in the cupboard, choc chips, mix it all up, put it in the oven. I've made them twice now. Once they came out very small and hard and the second time they're like the biggest, airiest, fluffiest things ever. So that's kind of

anna audio:

Are they, would you call them muffins? Yes.

phoebe audio:

muffins. Yeah, sorry. Did I not say that? I put them in a muffin tin,

anna audio:

Yep.

phoebe audio:

they're muffins. and I've just been having them whenever I want them.

phoebe vid:

Is this good? No,

phoebe audio:

this, is this a chronic wreck?

phoebe vid:

Just chuck it all

phoebe audio:

Just literally, literally don't follow recipes.

anna audio:

your

phoebe audio:

Follow what your heart desires, add what looks good to you at the time, just mix it all up and put it in the oven. Call it a breakfast muffin. Just cause you know, that misc breakfast muffin. And that

anna audio:

muffin. And that's the thing that

phoebe audio:

And they're honestly so good. Like

anna audio:

honestly so

phoebe audio:

And my one problem is that they've been green because the protein powder I'm putting in them is green. They've been at just a nice green

anna audio:

maybe we'll have to get you some vanilla protein.

phoebe audio:

not

anna audio:

vanilla protein. Uh, okay.

phoebe audio:

it's just

anna audio:

an ice cream. Is it off?

phoebe audio:

Does it actually have protein

anna audio:

a protein?

phoebe audio:

Next you'll be telling me there's no protein in it.

anna audio:

Whoa, okay.

phoebe audio:

but yeah, that's my running rack. No, I love it. I'm actually, that inspires me. I don't want to bake. Okay. I haven't baked anything and I love anything

anna audio:

we um,

phoebe audio:

go into our wrap up. I have a warning for you.

anna audio:

you.

phoebe audio:

I don't know if you remember but a month ago we set our goals for the year and we said that every month we'd check in on them.

anna audio:

Mmm.

phoebe vid:

we're

phoebe audio:

So this time next week, I'm going to be

anna audio:

We'll be checking in.

phoebe audio:

Yeah. And so listeners, that's a warning for you too.

anna audio:

Check in on your mates. Or yourself.

phoebe audio:

Yeah. I ain't goals. Yeah. All your mates. If you want to be a loser,

anna audio:

you are.

phoebe audio:

how are you going with your year resolutions?

anna audio:

go? That was so January. alright, as always, thank you so much for listening, if you still are. please,

phoebe audio:

loyal

anna audio:

please like us, give us a few stars, subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, follow us on Instagram at Cheeky Run Club, and TikTok, also at Cheeky Run Club. We better start posting on there again. And, we can't wait to be in your ears next week.

phoebe audio:

Bye.

phoebe vid:

Do, we should actually record a bit more once again.

anna audio:

Now that was a wrap up.

phoebe audio:

up. Nailed it.

phoebe vid:

it.

anna audio:

Nailed it. Okay, we have gone way off track.

phoebe audio:

Sorry, I'm like, literally, where are we?