Beyond Bathroom Blues

Transforming IBS Struggles into Pathways for Success

• CharlieJeane • Season 2 • Episode 44

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This episode highlights the emotional journey of mastering IBS, from uninformed optimism to acceptance and informed optimism, ultimately leading to lasting success. By sharing personal experiences and insights, we aim to empower listeners to break the cycle of method hopping and commit to a focused approach to managing their health.

• Exploring the IBS treadmill and its impact on men
• Navigating the emotional stages of IBS management
• Understanding the significance of informed optimism
• Discussing the dangers of method hopping
• Emphasizing the necessity of expert guidance and commitment
• Encouraging acceptance of the non-linear journey toward mastery
• Highlighting the importance of a supportive community

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Speaker 1:

Did you know that most men with IBS struggling with symptoms flare-ups issues will stay on the IBS treadmill all their lives?

Speaker 2:

This podcast, beyond Bath and Blues, is our way to document the lessons we've learned on growing our business Men's IBS Mastery towards helping one million men. Our hope is you use the lessons and wisdom for your own journey and maybe someday soon partner with us to achieve IBS mastery and dominate in your personal and professional life. We hope you share and enjoy.

Speaker 1:

It really is a tragedy when you think about it. And if you're listening to this, my hope is that I want to get you off that treadmill and I'm sure you want to get off that treadmill, but if you want to stay on it again, that's your decision. But I believe that if you're listening to these podcasts, you're reading the books perhaps you've bought my book, ibs Inversion, and you've dug into that and you're on that journey of transformation and it is a journey. It's doing small bits each day to move forwards then obviously you're in the right place and you're doing the right stuff. I'm going to share something with you today that I heard I first came across this concept a few years ago of an entrepreneur that I used to follow called Alex Amorzi, a serial entrepreneur, and he applied it to business.

Speaker 1:

It's an old theory and it works. It's a system that is exactly the same for any health transformation. You could apply it to weight loss. Any health transformation, you could apply it to weight loss. The people that as in lose the weight they get are they trying to get leaner and they end up piling all the weight back on and getting unfit again, and then they try again. Or you could apply it and, obviously, pulling it back to what we're going to talk to today IBS, to get you off that cycle, to get you off that treadmill, so you realize what's going on or what could be going on in your life and why you're stuck. That's my hope today. That's what I'm trying to do Because, listen, you can't get IBS, master, without changing your beliefs, without changing your mindset and having the correct mindset, because that is the foundation to everything, whether it's bodybuilding, whether it's being an entrepreneur, whether it's in 99, probably 0.9% of things, and it all comes down to mindset. That's the foundation, right? So, without further ado, what is it? What do we need to know? As a professional, ambitious, keen man got IBS, I'm on that treadmill and I want to escape, I want to get off ASAP. Well, we're going to talk today about I forget the correct term for it. I think it's something to do with the emotional cycle of change or something along them. It came out in the. I think the theory of it dates back as early as the 1970s by some psychologist, when when we've gone through this today, you'll understand it. I've got no doubt, because I like to keep things simple, right. So the first part, then.

Speaker 1:

And we're looking at somebody that's had a diagnosis of ibs. They've been to the doctors, etc. And they're trying different stuff. They're trying different stuff, whether that's supplements, probiotics, prebiotics, maybe it's dairy free, maybe gluten free products, maybe there's medications, maybe they're seeing nutritionists and naturopaths, maybe there's going to the doctors all the time. Dietitian, do you see what I mean? There's a huge list going in all these Facebook groups, et cetera. So that's where most people that are listening to this, I believe, are at. Maybe you're a little bit further forward than that, and that's great. Or maybe you're somewhere kind of in the middle, in the midst of all that, or building up to it. So that's what we're looking at.

Speaker 1:

So you can imagine now you, if you're there yourself, a guy and I've been there they've had that diagnosis and they're in the, they're in the thick of it, they're in the trenches. You're in the trenches, aren't you? You're in the trenches with ibs, with all these symptoms having a huge impact on your life. You're trying all this different stuff. You're trying to get these solutions, you're trying to feel better, you're trying to go to work and be present for you, for and all this stuff. And I get that, I get that.

Speaker 1:

So what we have first of all is uninformed optimism. That's the early stage where you think, right, I've got IBS, I'm positive about this, I've got an issue. I've got a health issue, I can sort this out, it's not life-threatening, I'm really positive about getting this sorted out, but it's uninformed, isn't it it? Because you don't know the detail as of yet. And I remember I'm going to flick to, I guess, a story, as you will, from an old client of ours. His name is jason and he put he says glenn, the optimism didn't last long.

Speaker 1:

I started diving into research, joining facebook groups, reading some studies online, and suddenly I tried learning about low fodmap diet, some other diets that were out there, gut brain axis, microbiome, and he said it was just overwhelming. I started realizing it's not just taking some pills or avoiding dairy or cutting out this, and that it's a lot more complicated than I obviously thought. And then I realized right, so do you understand, and you might relate to that yourself, you might relate to that. Where he's at there, as you can appreciate me, is he's started off optimistic, got into the thick of it, trying to get sorted out, and he's like, ah, this is like wow, this is really overwhelming, this is really difficult, okay, so then what we have is informed pessimism, because we now understand it, so we're informed, and it's pessimism, it's negative, it's like this is really difficult.

Speaker 1:

It's where, I guess, many men, like jason, start method hopping. So that's what we're looking at today. It's called method hopping, or popcorn, and I've, I think I mentioned in the last podcast, for those that have listened to that, so it's where you're jumping from, like a popcorn, hot popcorn, in a pan. It bouncing around, isn't it? And that's that's the men bouncing around, from method to supplement to this. That the other.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so method hopping, and I guess it's just desperately searching for answers, isn't it? You've got all these dramas going on, all these issues and I get it, I've been there. It's not your fault. It's like I think it's part of the journey. Looking back at my own transformation with ibs and other people that we've worked with, I think it is part of the journey. So don't worry, don't kick yourself and go oh yeah, that's me. Or I'm starting to do that, or it is part of the journey and we've got to find ways, as I said in my other podcast, of how not to do it. Yeah, like Edison with the light bulb yeah, 10,000 ways of how a light bulb doesn't work. And then found the way before he invented the light bulb. So we go on to the next bit. So Jason then said yeah, we were chatting. That's when the amazon order started piling up probiotics, enzymes wherever we got them from, miracle supplements you name it.

Speaker 1:

Every time someone in a facebook group I was in posted about some amazing cure or some remedy or therapy, I'd jump on it. I'd research it quickly and spend some money and check it out, but each new thing I tried showed me how more complex the condition really was. Nothing worked like the testimonials promised. Isn't that the truth? How many testimonials do you read, with health products especially? And they promise the world. Some of them are honest. They say this may or may not.

Speaker 1:

If you read the small print, you may get some relief. You might not. Do you know what I mean? Most of them are a load of rubbish out there in terms of the like a band-aid. Do you know what I mean? It's like having a bleeding neck. If you imagine your neck peeing out with blood and you just put in a band-aid on it and that's it like a plaster, but you're not dealing with the, the actual injury itself. You're stopping the bleeding for a little bit, but it's still cut underneath. You need to deal with that injury or an open fracture, you see. So it's getting to the root cause. So, as you can see, there we've had the first bit, uninformed optimism, and then he's found out how difficult it is. So informed pessimism then that leads on to sort of the next bit then is the valley of despair. It's what's known as the valley of despair. This is where really it hits home.

Speaker 1:

I guess, of managing I'm saying managing my ibs, not even mastering it yet, but just managing it sinks in and maybe you'll relate to that yourself where how difficult it is if you really think about it. It's not, it's not easy, it's not. It's. It's a simple process in terms of what we do. You know the system that we use to get many outcome is it's a very simple process. It really is to get the transformation. Wherever you are you could be in absolute bits with IBS or everything in between and to get in a systematic approach in four to eight weeks and then being able to carry on for the months that follow to gain that mastery and dominate IBS for the rest of your life. It is a simple process but, guys, it's not easy. I would not lie to you at all on anything, but I would not say on here it's absolutely easy, it's a walk in the park. It's not.

Speaker 1:

It's difficult because it's something new. We have to change our beliefs, we have to change our habits and mindset and everything. Our lifestyle changes need to happen around that and that's difficult. It is in anything whether you're moving house, whether you're trying to put muscle mass on, whether you change your job and you want to level up your skills, anything. I guess where change happens, big change causes friction, doesn't it With humans, just generally. So that's what we're doing. We're fighting against change. So that's the valley of despair. It's like oh no, you know, I was trying all this stuff, I'm trying all this kit. Or I've been to a nutritionist, I've been to a naturopath, I've been to somebody. I've been to even a dietician you might not feel helped you as a one-off consultation, whatever it is. You're like shit, this is life, this is nails, nails. This is really, really difficult. So then jason said I was chatting to him again and I said you know what you're in that kind of mess there, and then six months went by. So it wasn't that long. Some of some guys have had it six years, aren't they of longer?

Speaker 1:

Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars later, I was still having flare-ups, missing work, trying going on the low FODMAP diet but trying to figure it out all by myself food rules, managing a full-time job it just felt impossible. Every failed attempt made me more frustrated, thinking that things didn't work. And I could you know, I was a one-off basically saying that I would have to be like this for the rest of my life and I started feeling that I'd never get it under control. And then the darkness set in, where I felt I might lose my job, then I'd lose my income and yell the nasty stuff there. So that's the valley of despair.

Speaker 1:

Guys, some of you might have been there and I'm sure you're having a flare-up. It's and we're in that valley of despair. But you know, in terms of trying all these things, you're trying a method. You've got these supplements. They're not really working. You're having a huge flare-up and it's frustration kicks in and we're in that valley. It's not nice, but that's where, in terms of Jason's story mine as well, included and maybe you're listening to this and I know I've got a listener that's messaged me recently on YouTube and we've hooked up on Facebook and guys, if you're listening to this, check out my link in the description.

Speaker 1:

I always put a link in my link tree. Feel free to connect with me me a friend request and on facebook or join our facebook group ibs in men and let's connect, because you need to be connected with the right people at the right time. Your support network is key. Who you surround yourself with, virtually as well these days, is the average of who you become. So it's being surrounded by the right people that care about you, your goals, and you can lift you up and give you the right, the right knowledge, the right wisdom moving forward.

Speaker 1:

So, just as a side note, the real turning point wasn't finding some magic cure, because we know there isn't a cure. It was accepting. Here's the big thing accepting that there isn't one acceptance. Guys, absolutely critical. With anything you've got to accept, you don't have to accept. But then what do you do if you don't accept it? Accept that there isn't a cure, and I find they've got to manage this. It's a systematic approach. It's doing as he was saying. Here.

Speaker 1:

I finally found a specialist, an expert, which obviously was us in the end, but more on that in another podcast who specialized in men's IBS. The difference here now we're finding somebody that is an expert in one specific area, not a jack-of-all-trades, because a jack-of-all-trades is a master of none, an expert in one area, somebody that focuses on one individual, like what we do. We focus on IBS, but we focus on IBS in men, not IBS in women and children and everyone else in the world. So that was crucial for him. It's just as an example. But that helped him understand something crucial managing IBS is a marathon, not a sprint. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Just like Steiner, I know that to be true because at the moment, for those of you that are following us on on YouTube at Men's IBS Mastery even though that channel has around as in I've had a YouTube channel since probably I don't know 2000 and blooming 12 or 16 or whatever. I only really started publishing videos on there about I don't know a year and a half ago, not that long ago, and then not that frequently, not consistently, just putting a few on every now and again until I was getting some feedback saying can you please post more videos of you and your wife and stuff. So we've now made it more of a commitment for the community, for men to grow that channel, and it's a marathon, not a sprint, just as an example.

Speaker 1:

So what do we do then? We're in that valley of despair. And then we've realized in terms of, like Jason, that it is that marathon, not a sprint, and that marks the transition really from stage to stage four to informed optimism. So we're in that valley of despair. How do we get out of that mess? We informed optimism. Unlike that, you know the false hope of all the miracle cures and methods that are out there. This optimism is built on understanding and acceptance. So it's acceptance and then understanding of not just the issues, the symptoms, as in the ibs, but what you need to do to get the outcome. Happy with that.

Speaker 1:

Then, obviously, jason popped in. I worked with the experts on a proper plan diet, stress management, the whole shebang. The difference was this time I stuck with it. No more jumping ship when someone online promised faster results or anything like a quick fix. Do you see the difference there? So there's again success leaves clues. That's why I'm sharing that story with you and giving you this podcast today. So stage five is success. Okay, that's success. That's the stage five is where we all want to get to.

Speaker 1:

For some of you, you're thinking that's a miracle land as a faraway place. That's unbelievable and is not true, like a fairy tale. But I will tell you firsthand, hand on my heart and swearing on you know, my family's that that is absolutely an area you can get to. You can master your IBS, you can dominate your symptoms. But it takes, as I said before, we need to get. It's a journey that you're on. Change those beliefs, unpick all the rubbish that's out there to get you on the right tracks at the right time, moving forwards, and stick to one system. Look, it's exactly the same in many other areas.

Speaker 1:

Listen, I'm an entrepreneur and if you're listening to this and you are as well, you'll get where I'm coming from. We can't. It's method hopping happens in business. I have got a journal at the side of me and there's probably, dare I say and I laugh some multi-million dollar ideas in there and I'm getting really excited and some of them are in the health industry, men's performance, self-development, all that jazz. And I get really excited, excited when I've got an idea and I start putting meat on the bones and I go to my wife and I say I've got this really gleaming idea here. You know, I can help people because that's for me. It's not about the money, it's about help making a difference. But anyway, I say I can do this thing. There's a need for it in the market.

Speaker 1:

Somebody's doing the boring stuff, as you will not that I find this boring, but it's doing the, the basics, at a deep level for a long period of time until you've absolutely mastered that one thing and then you can move on to the next thing. And that is where real success happens. And if you'll relate to that, if you work in a successful businessman or entrepreneur, or maybe you in the health space and you've had experiences of that in the past, so it's exactly the same with IBS. And again, please, please, if you take nothing else away from this today about those five emotional cycles, as you will that that is exactly why most men stay on the treadmill and just method hop forever in a day, because they start off at stage one. They've got that uninformed optimism. Yeah, so they're uninformed. They feel excited and positive about it because they've started to see stuff that's out there, all this stuff and that and this, this, that, the other that's going to help them and get the outcome. Then they try it. They realise how difficult it is, so they become informed.

Speaker 1:

But the pessimism kicks in, the negativity. Then we end up in the valley of despair. Oh, this is really difficult and complicated. I'm frustrated. This isn't happening. It costs loads of money, or I'm spending this and I'm spending that. It's absolutely crazy.

Speaker 1:

Then, because of all that we we see something shiny, like shiny object syndrome comes along. Or somebody in a facebook group says have you tried fibrolite or have you tried flipping? I don't know this supplement or that supplement, and actually this thing's just come out. Have you tried acupuncture? Yeah, oh, yeah, I'm gonna do that. And you bounce all the way back to phase one again. Yeah, uninformed optimism. You get really excited, positive again, because you're like, yeah, I found something that might work. And then you try that thing. You try it, you research it, you look into it doesn't work. And you're like, ah, and you just end up in that site. You end up from stage one to stage three just going around in bloody circles. Most men just keep on. Then it's like a, like a hamster wheel, if you could visualize it going round and round and round.

Speaker 1:

But really what we want to do is it doesn't matter how many times you've gone around it, you know in the past it's saying right, let's stop. The first thing you do, like when you're in a hole, as you know, the saying is stop digging, that's the first thing you're in a hole, whether it's financially or whatever. What do I need to do? Stop digging, that's the first thing, just stop, okay, I'll stop. Then what I need to do Stop digging, that's the first thing, just stop, okay, I'll stop.

Speaker 1:

Then what we need to get you out of that valley of despair to that fourth level. That fourth level is really where you need to get, isn't it? From the valley of despair we need to then step into informed optimism. So that's that fourth phase where we've got that acceptance and understanding, and then we find somebody, we find a system that we work with and we stick to that one system. That's the key. That is the key.

Speaker 1:

Listen, you could go to the best dietitian in the world and you've got to put the work in. You've got to roll your sleeves up and put the work in and do what's not sexy. Hopefully, that makes sense. Listen, that's pretty much it to wrap it all up. And if you're stuck in that cycle, method hopping. Remember, quick fixes are appealing because managing ibs is hard, so that's why they're appealing, and obviously, with symptoms and flare-ups, you just want to get the outcome as quickly as possible. But jumping from method to method only delays real progress.

Speaker 1:

That's kind of the summary on that bit there. Working with qualified professionals, experts that have a few things with that, that are qualified, they've got your back and they've got a system that actually works. That's the key thing, isn't it? The only reason it wouldn't work for you is if you don't put the work in. You know the system works, the city, but the systems that are out there, some of them, they work only if you work them. You have to work them. Yes, you've got to roll your sleeves up, get sway, but is it not worth it? If you get your ibs mastered, all them symptoms bolted down, imagine what life could look like at the other end when you're in that next level of success. Yeah, the fifth phase. Happy with that. So that's it done and dusted.

Speaker 1:

Success comes from commitment. Remember not finding the perfect supplement. Okay, this is again thanks for popping along to beyond bathroom blues podcast, just reminding you that the path to managing ibs and mastering ibs isn't about finding the right shortcut. It's about committing to the journey and to the best people that's going to get you the outcome. Take care, stay safe and please share and leave a review, please. That's all. My ask for you is leave a review if you found this helpful. Cheers, guys, stay safe.