The Q&A Files
The Q&A Files drops A Wellness Explosion
💥 BOOM! Attention Wellness Warriors. The game changer you have been waiting for is finally here. Say hello to “The Q&A Files,” where wellness meets revolution and your questions lead to new discoveries. Spearheaded by Trisha Jamison, your host, a Board Certified Functional Nutritionist. Cohost Dr. Jeff Jamison, a Board Certified Family Physician, and featured guest, Tony Overbay, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. This podcast blends three diverse perspectives to tackle your questions on health, nutrition, medicine, mental wellness, and relationships. Dive into a world of expert insights and actionable advice, all sparked by your curiosity. Tune in, ignite your wellness journey, and join the Wellness Warrior community.
The Q&A Files
46. Unraveling Toxic Connections: Embracing Gratitude and Mindful Living for Emotional Well-Being, Sandy's question.
Join us in this eye-opening episode as we expose the hidden costs of entanglements with emotionally immature or narcissistic partners. Trisha Jamison, alongside Dr. Jeff Jamison and Tony Overbay, shares personal stories and listener-inspired discussions that reveal how these toxic dynamics can lead to chronic stress and mental fatigue. Drawing inspiration from Dr. Bessel van der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score," we dissect the profound impact of trauma on both mind and body, revealing the crucial role of gratitude and positivity in maintaining one's sanity amid chaos.
We navigate the fine line between healthy sacrifices and those that steal away our emotional well-being, offering metaphors and insights to illuminate the paths often taken in toxic relationships. The shovel and ladder analogy underscores how misguided efforts can deepen emotional wounds, while practical advice on grounding techniques helps listeners stay present amid emotional upheaval. Recognizing the physical manifestations of suppressed emotions, we stress the importance of awareness and validation, providing strategies that empower individuals to reclaim their mental and physical health.
As the journey unfolds, the transformative power of gratitude and mindful living becomes a beacon for those seeking healthier connections. Emphasizing shared responsibility in relationships, we explore how recognizing one's worth can lead to respectful and fulfilling connections. The discussion concludes by encouraging listeners to embrace self-discovery and to cultivate gratitude, even for negative experiences, as stepping stones toward greater happiness and improved self worth.
Question? Email us at trishajamisoncoaching@gmail.com!
Hello and welcome to the Q&A file, the ultimate health and wellness playground. I'm your host, tricia Jamieson, a board-certified functional nutritionist and lifestyle practitioner, ready to lead you through a world of health discoveries. Here we dive into a tapestry of disease prevention to nutrition, exercise, mental health and building strong relationships, all spiced with diverse perspectives. It's not just a podcast, it's a celebration of health, packed with insights and a twist of fun. Welcome aboard the Q&A Files, where your questions ignite our vibrant discussions and lead to a brighter you. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Q&A Files. I'm your host, trisha Jamieson, a functional nutritionist and lifestyle practitioner and a life coach, and today I'm thrilled to be joined by my two amazing co-hosts. Dr Jeff Jamieson, our fabulous board-certified family physician and.
Speaker 1:Tony Overbay, a seasoned marriage and family therapist.
Speaker 3:Hey everybody, and you're seasoned.
Speaker 1:I am seasoned, well seasoned.
Speaker 3:Nice salt and pepper, maybe a garlic rub.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's right. Yeah, so together they bring invaluable insights into the intersections of health, relationships and mental wellbeing, and I'm beyond excited to have both of you here today. So before we jump into our question today, let's take a moment to celebrate. I know you're so funny.
Speaker 3:I was going to remember one of these. I was and I'm sitting here like, oh, I'm so curious to hear the question today. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1:But these things are important.
Speaker 3:They really are. I'm acknowledging this.
Speaker 1:Yes, they are. So why are they important, tony, tell us.
Speaker 3:Yes, that is exactly correct. How about you, Dr Jeff?
Speaker 2:You know, I think it helps you think about what you're happy and thankful for and make sure that you stay in a positive attitude. I think that's the reason for them, yep.
Speaker 3:You are correct. Yes, I have one. I really do have one. I can be. I really do my entire, all I better make sure that yeah, all my family is in town in Arizona and we're hanging out the rest of the week and we're getting family pictures made out in the desert this weekend, so I'm really excited about that.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you and the saguaro. Yes, Cacti yeah exactly, instead of the palm trees.
Speaker 3:I know that's going to be a bit of a change. Is this for Christmas pictures? I think it's just the yearly family picture, but it will probably make its way to a Christmas card. Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, that's fantastic.
Speaker 3:Well good, I celebrate that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you did great Okay.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Trisha, what's yours?
Speaker 1:I kind of surprised our kids and drove to Utah, Surprised our kids and drove to Utah, Just kind of woke up and I'm driving to Utah and spent several days with them and got to enjoy the grandkids and we had a wonderful time and drove back yesterday. So it was just. It was a kind of a quick trip but so enjoyable and I just cherished every moment with those sweet little kids.
Speaker 3:Do you do podcasts? Music audio book. What do you do on a drive? Podcasts.
Speaker 1:Like Jeff asked me what did you listen to? And I just listed I'll like everything. Yeah, 12 hours. So it was good Okay, dr Jeff.
Speaker 2:Yes, I have two. The first one has to do with Tricia returning home safely. You know it's a long trip and there was some weather during the trip and she had me a little bit nervous, but she made it home safely and I'm really grateful for that.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you.
Speaker 2:And the second one is I recently completed. If you look back on our podcast, we talked about doing joint rejuvenation therapy and stem cell injections and I've recently done a person that had bilateral knees both knees done at the same time and he came back for his one month checkup and he was already having great results and was just so happy. And those things make me happy because I love that technology.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, so that's great stuff, excellent, fantastic. Well, thank you both for sharing and, just like Jeff said, it's always grounding to start off with a focus on the positives, so that's really important, and I do that with my clients as well, so it's really helpful for them. All right, so we've got a really thought provoking question today from Sandy, and she's asking about something many people experience but rarely put into words. So Sandy says I have a question about the hidden costs of being in relationships with emotionally immature or narcissistic individuals. Just like we consider hidden or opportunity costs in business, we often overlook similar costs in our personal relationships. I'm thinking about things like chronic stress, loss of time and energy, unfulfilled expectations, time and energy, unfulfilled expectations, spiritual compromise, financial strain, legal complications, poor sleep and overall brain fog. How can we become more mindful of these hidden costs of toxic relationships? Additionally, how can we cultivate gratitude for the blessings of healthy relationships in our lives? So this is a fantastic question and very involved, and the first thing I thought of when I read Sandy's question was that I had just been a guest on a friend's podcast.
Speaker 1:Jennifer Townsend called Happily Even After, and we talked about a powerful book called the Body Keeps the Score by Dr Biesel van der Kolk, and if you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.
Speaker 1:And Dr van der Kolk is a leading psychiatrist and trauma researcher who has spent decades studying how traumatic experiences affect not only our minds but also our physical health. So in the Body Keeps the Score, he explains how trauma shows up in our bodies, impacting everything from chronic pain and anxiety to sleep disturbances, and he's a profound reminder that trauma, whether from past experiences or challenging relationships, leaves a real imprint on our well-being. So for those navigating toxic or draining relationships, this book offers a very powerful perspective on how our bodies remember and respond to these experiences. So if you're interested in understanding the connection between our mental and physical health, it's definitely a must read. So with that context in mind, let's dive into Sandy's question, starting with Dr Jeff Jamieson. So, dr Jeff, froma medical perspective, you see patients dealing with all kinds of stress-related symptoms, from chronic stress, poor sleep, that sense of brain fog that Sandy mentioned. How do these hidden costs impact a person's physical health over time?
Speaker 2:Wow, huge, huge question and it really requires kind of a prolonged answer, unfortunately. But the first thing that I do when I hear of a person that's got trauma or other issues that are going on that are really taking a toll on their lives and you're 100% correct that trauma leaves an indelible imprint on their psyche and really it connects in their DNA. So one of the things I do first is get a really detailed history and find out what it is that has happened and what, as best I can in the time. I have to understand the things surrounding it, and often that entails taking time to extract that information, because often they don't even want to tell you and so it's going through the process of understanding and helping them get it out is a huge part of the process. Then, once we have that understanding, a physical exam is completed where I check you know, are there places that are hurting? Where does it hurt? Finding out if their lungs or heart or other issues with their organs are happening, and that includes a detailed laboratory workup. Usually organs are happening and that includes a detailed laboratory workup usually, and I always check kidney function, liver function, electrolytes, blood sugar, thyroid and even a urine test to make sure all of those things are functioning properly, and then how to address it.
Speaker 2:Well, first of all, it just depends on the severity, and they're what we like to call the emotional baseline of a person. If their emotional baseline where how they feel about the world, their brain fog, their ability to function if all those are very, very low let's just say on a global scale, between zero to 100, and if they're in the 20% range or the 20 out of 100 range, then we often will have to help them improve their emotional baseline, often using medicine, certainly using counseling and making sure that they have a great support system. So finding out those things first are really important. How do people deal with it, though? Gosh, this is a really hard one, and I rely heavily on people like Tony to be able to take people through the process of dealing with it, and I want to make sure that I take care of the physical and support them through the emotional, but I hand off the emotional piece to my colleagues in psychology like Tony. So, tony, you can take it from there.
Speaker 3:Well, and man, I can now give you both just very, very great praise and validation, because I like you saying that, because you mentioned, Dr Jeff, the things that they don't even know, that they don't know that you almost have to pull out of them. And then I think that's so that one's so difficult. And then Trisha, talking about the body, keeps the score, because that's where I go immediately when we're talking about trauma, where people are coming into the situation, coming into therapy, where they don't, you know, they don't, they're just being themselves, but it isn't, doesn't seem like it's working, whether it's in the relationship or just in their life trauma, but they don't know what is happening, and and so I just think it's, it's a, it's a much longer journey than somebody. I mean, I love that people are going to hear this and maybe they're going to start to think, okay, what is that impact that my relationship's having on me? But then where do I even start? Cause I don't know what, I don't know what's it even supposed to look like, Because I'm I'm often I don't want to stay dramatically shocked when people say that I don't know, their partner's yelling at them and they're saying we're right, but I mean I, I, I sometimes get angry with them too.
Speaker 3:Or, um, well, I was, you know, I wasn't, uh, I didn't do something that I said I would do, and and and. In my mind it's like, well, that doesn't mean that it's okay to then yell at another person or, you know, to then take out your frustrations on somebody else, because that's where that trauma kicks in. You know where somebody's body does keep the score and they feel like they have to be the trauma dumpster, you know. Or they have to be the person that, well, I don't want to say this, I don't want to make somebody mad. And so then, you know, so they're-.
Speaker 1:Manage someone else's emotions.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, that's exactly where I was going.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So let me ask you this. So, as we all know, you work with a lot of these individuals in therapy that are struggling with these kinds of challenges, these relational challenges.
Speaker 3:What are some of the emotional and psychological tools you see for? Maybe sleep medications, or I mean just their anxieties through the roof, because they're, you know, in that book, body Keeps the Score. Van der Kolk, I think he's quoting another researcher, but he says that the neurons that fire together wire together. So the more that somebody does have this heightened sense of of anxiety, that then over time your body says this is our baseline and we're going to operate from here. So then even when somebody is able to relax and their cortisol levels drop, yeah, and if they do, it's like, but immediately you go right up to the that baseline of stress. And so then what I see people coming in is like they just get really, really, really anxious when talking about the relationship.
Speaker 3:And then they're communicating often about, you know, if I even suggest that, oh man, that doesn't sound like a very good thing that he or she was doing or saying, and they immediately go and say, well, I mean, but, but I mean I, you know I'm not the easiest to live with either. Or well, right, but I mean he has been being nice as well, and so it's even this. One of the things I see the most is somebody's coming in, they want help, but they also feel like, well, I'm sure it's probably mostly my fault the reason why this person reacts the way they do emotions and meanwhile they're trying to manage their partner's experience or emotions or feelings as well. And then this is one of those ADHD moments where I was like, oh, I was on a roll here but I forgot exactly where I was going to land this plane, but. But I mean, but there's a good point here.
Speaker 1:Well, I have a question. If I can help you with this maybe this will be a segue into what you're thinking, but so how can someone begin to tell the difference between the sacrifices we all make in healthy relationships and these deeper costs that end up taking a toll on their mental and emotional well-being?
Speaker 3:And I think that's such a it's such a lengthy process, like I think what Dr Jeff's talking about too is that they go from they weren't even aware that there was anything wrong with the relationship and they just started to feel like something was off. And then. So then typically we go and we use the same tool, the tool that we know, and that's where I will continue to try to take care of everybody else's emotions. I'll continue to stuff my emotions. There's a brilliant metaphor and acceptance and commitment therapy about and I'll spare the version, the first part of it.
Speaker 3:But you know, you're running around this field, you fall in a hole and then you find that you, you have a shovel, and so then you start digging to get out of the hole, because the shovel is a really good tool not in this scenario but you're a hard worker, so I'm going to keep digging and digging, and digging, but I'm getting further and further down into the hole and then finally somebody comes in and they hand you down a ladder and you say thank you, and you take the ladder and you try to dig with the ladder. You know, and the metaphor is about ladders make crummy shovels and the whole point is like, when people find themselves in these relationships and now they start to realize something's off here, then they double down with the shovel of kindness or the shovel of well, I just need to do more. I need to do more to make the relationship better, which, in essence, is almost making it worse, like they're getting further down into the hole and they're kind of giving up their own self.
Speaker 2:It's usually not almost. They're usually definitely making it worse. And that's a really hard part. When people you know they say I've done everything that I can to make this better, well then what they really need to do is they need to stop and re-evaluate where the relationship is. And there's a huge emotional toll in people that are using the shovel of kindness or the shovel of stuffing their feelings down and not making sure they're heard, and they're using those things. That causes more and more emotional trauma over time.
Speaker 2:And the other thing that's interesting is when a person doesn't know. What they don't know is when this is happening, they feel like it's normal. Yeah, exactly, and I had a gentleman who came into my office yesterday who was experiencing some shortness of breath, some chest tightness, sweatiness at times, so he was experiencing anxiety and he otherwise was completely healthy. So it wasn't like that. He had a heart problem. It was that he was experiencing anxiety to such an extent that he was having a bodily response to it. And when you have a physical, bodily response, those are things that you don't even know where they're coming from. So often people will seek out medical attention, thinking there's a physical problem because there's a physical response, but when, in actuality, this cost from all the things they're suppressing is anxiety that's manifesting itself physically.
Speaker 1:So it's really just awareness, you know, bringing awareness to how you're feeling the situation, what's going on in your life, and helping people recognize that, helping them validate those pieces in their life and making them feel that this isn't just in your head, this is real and this is really important to pay attention to.
Speaker 3:Well, and what have you seen with that?
Speaker 2:I mean, tell me when you've seen a person kind of going off the rails like this, and how do you rein them back in?
Speaker 1:Well, I've talked about this before on podcasts, but I really focus on the five senses Because when you can stay in a present state of mind, you're not going to go back into the past and just bring up all the trauma. But I mean you need to deal with that and work through that and move through that. But to stay present is going to help you validate where you are, help you recognize that you're okay, but also help you appreciate that you've got some struggles and there's some negative experiences that you need to work through. But by staying present, staying grounded, breathing techniques you know, talked about this before going outside and just putting your feet in the sand or the dirt or this grass or whatever, that is just helping you feel even the cold, you know.
Speaker 1:If you're, if it's hot outside, go out. Feel the heat. If it's cold outside, don't take a jacket. Feel the cold, you know. If it's hot outside, go out. Feel the heat. If it's cold outside, don't take a jacket. Feel the cold, you know. Allow your body to feel something. And I think sometimes that's a lot of. What happens is people just they kind of numb. They're so numb that sometimes they have to do some risky things to feel pain, to feel like they're alive yeah, and that's a real thing. So I think, just staying present and walking them through how to stay in that present state.
Speaker 3:You know I want to throw one just statement out and then I want to go back and talk about something as well. But the one is that I find that so many people that are coming into therapy are coming into therapy to fix themselves or the relationship which I love. It's admirable, but over time, I you know, sometimes it becomes a okay, it can be you can show up the very best version of yourself in a relationship and the your partner is going to continue to push more buttons because they want to get you back in that one down position where they they maintain control and I think that's where the body keeps. The score starts to come in and, like Dr Jeff's talking about and this like conversion disorder, people get irritable bowel syndrome and they get you know a client earlier today that has will break out in hives and you know they they need to take like antihistamines or things. But I still think that there's this concept that's rooted in the. If I can take responsibility for it, then I can fix it and then at some point though it may not be, you know an all you thing. I think we all have our roles, we play and that's why I like when we don't know what we don't know.
Speaker 3:But I think that's really important to give ourselves grace, because a lot of times, when people are in these immature relationships the only well, maybe when they start to realize this isn't a healthy relationship they realize that maybe the fault that they had was not knowing or never seeing modeled how to stand up for themselves or how to express their needs and emotions and stay grounded.
Speaker 3:And so then, whenever they tried to do that, then they were typically told that they were doing it wrong or they were being selfish, or whatever the button was that would be pushed to put that person back down in that one down position and uh, and so I think that at some point, though, it really is like I have done what I can do, and that's where that concept of differentiation is so good, because I'm going to grow through any relationship. But the things I might learn are that I deserve respect or I want to be in a relationship where I feel heard and understood, and so the more I'm trying to do that in maybe my current relationship, my own body is telling me this is not working. You know, stop doing this, please. And so then, when I can accept that, then what have I learned there, Not that I'm broken, not that something's wrong with me, but now thank you, body, for eventually getting my attention and telling me that I really deserve to be in a relationship where I feel heard and understood and valued and there's curiosity and I'm cherished and those sorts of things, and but we have this tendency to keep going in again with the shovel and I'll keep digging harder and I'll eventually get out of this hole, but you're really getting further and further in it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, excellent. I love the shovel analogy. I think that that just brings a lot of just really very very good. So I wanted to go back to a quick question that I had for Jeff, and that is would you say that symptoms like exhaustion or sleep disturbances can sometimes be a signal that someone is in a toxic or draining relationship?
Speaker 2:is in a toxic or draining relationship. Sure, there can be lots of different physical symptoms of that. Sleep is a big one and in fact when I'm talking to somebody that I have concerns that they're having trouble with a relationship or they're depressed, or anxiety is ruining their life, or even bipolar disease, I'm asking a lot of questions that come around sleep, whether they have trouble getting to sleep, if they have trouble staying asleep. These are huge indicators. The other things, of course, are gastrointestinal effects. A lot of people have diarrhea or a loss of appetite, or they can't stop eating. Sometimes I call this the divorce diet, because if people are having terrible relationship problems, they either go one way or the other. Almost nobody just stays normal when it comes to their appetite or eating patterns or bowel patterns. So these are signs that I see frequently with people that are having emotional disturbance.
Speaker 1:Okay, excellent, that's great. So Sandy's last part of her question is she asked a wonderful follow-up about cultivating gratitude for the blessings of healthy relationships. I think that's such a great question because it helps us remember that, even if we've been through difficult experiences, we can still focus on what's going well in our lives, kind of like our celebrations we start our episodes with. So here is a few practical steps that I have that I'd like to recommend for building that gratitude, but I know that actually Tony needs to get going here soon. Do you want to add anything? Yeah, if you don't mind.
Speaker 3:No, I appreciate that and I apologize about being selfish and making it about me off to the doctor to determine that I am a healthy person. Yep, no worries. But what I like about this is the concept of just polarity. You know there's day, so we know what night is. There's hot, so we know cold. And so I think when people do realize or recognize or even start to escape a negative relationship or understand that that isn't the relationship that they want, then now they will gravitate toward and appreciate more the relationships that they feel seen and safe and understood.
Speaker 3:And I know that when I can work with a couple because I'm still in the marriage saving business for the most part and then when you can get a couple that doesn't know what they don't know and they're willing to do the work and sit through the discomfort and really understand that okay, I need to be more curious and I'm learning about my partner, it isn't all about me Then I think a couple can have this experience where they knew what the relationship used to look like.
Speaker 3:And I love when I get to say this where, couples, you're not gonna go find the tools until you go through stuff, period. I'm trying to figure out a way to get people to do all the work, to learn the four pillars and learn about differentiation. When the waters are calm, I used to think that was the time to try to figure it out, but it's not because your waters are calm. But then when people can you know? There's not. I'm not going to say there's nothing. I love more, but it is very satisfying in my work to find somebody that they went through things that they never anticipated going through in their relationship, but then they had the courage to do the work on themselves and then hopefully and they're hopefully they're partnered as two and now they both show up with a completely new relationship and they know what it used to be like and now they know what the good version of it's like and I think that that is, uh, it's a I mean that's, I don't know.
Speaker 2:It's a miracle in and of itself to see that I think you just described your work in a nutshell right there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:That's the hope and then, and if not, you're hoping the helping the one person realize their value, their worth.
Speaker 3:And then, and at a certain point I think it's so hard to imagine this early on but where it's like, okay, not only is this person not right for me, but actually maybe I'm not actually right for them, and I'm saying this not even with humor where they need somebody that they can, they can control, because that's the only way that they feel like they, they matter, they exist, and I am not someone who wants to be controlled.
Speaker 3:So then then it, and that's where, when people kind of really get to that point of where they feel good about themselves, that self-love, then it really does become somewhat easier to then not, it's not easy, but it can be more doable to get out of an unhealthy relationship. But when somebody's still in it, it's just there's so much of that trauma going on and the you know, the visceral reactions and the what's wrong with me, and when you realize nothing, you're OK, you're going to figure this out, and that's the work you get to do, and hopefully your partner is, you know, that's that I'm choosing myself, and then I'm good. So now I'm actually choosing my partner myself and then I'm good. So now I'm actually choosing my partner. I would love to have this experience because we've got a lot of kids or memories or those sorts of things inside jokes, things that you can't recreate late. Right, right, that's so good.
Speaker 3:I would hope that they will join me, but if not, bless their heart like that's a them thing, and then I, I, they need somebody that isn't pushing them, you know, and I need somebody that is willing to grow with me.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, excellent, thank you. Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 3:Thanks, you guys.
Speaker 1:It's good to see you, good to see you both.
Speaker 3:Talk mean about me now I'll listen.
Speaker 1:I know right. Well, you'll have to listen to that.
Speaker 2:Don't forget to mention us on some of your other podcasts.
Speaker 3:Thank you very much. I will mention all of them all the time, always Okay. Thank you, bye, tony.
Speaker 1:Okay. So I wanted to share some practical steps that I recommend to some clients on how to build that gratitude. So I love this question from Sandy. Number one reflect on supportive moments. So take a few minutes each day to reflect on interactions that uplifted you, and it could be as simple as someone showing you kindness, offering support or just listening to you without judgment, and writing these moments down can reinforce our awareness of the positive connections we have. Number two is practice gratitude stacking. I love this one.
Speaker 1:So this is about finding one thing you're grateful for in a relationship and then stacking more aspects onto it. So, for example, if you appreciate a friend's support, think about how they've shown up for you in different ways over time. It can depend on our sense of gratitude and highlight the strengths in our relationships. Three is identify the qualities you value in others. So sometimes, listing qualities we admire in the people we trust and cherish helps us focus on the blessings of those who genuinely care for us. So qualities like kindness, honesty and empathy remind us that we're surrounded by individuals who love us and that they enhance our lives.
Speaker 1:And four express gratitude directly. Don't hesitate to let others know when you appreciate something about them. It could be a quick text or a heartfelt conversation. Expressing gratitude strengthens relationships and reinforces those positive feelings. Five, mindful meditation on relationships. So finally, mindfulness meditation focused on gratitude can be a very, very powerful practice. What you do is you visualize the people who bring you joy, peace or laughter and you sit with that feeling of gratitude for their presence. This can help shift focus from past pain toward appreciation of what's present and healing in your life. So gratitude isn't about ignoring challenges, but these practices can help us put things in perspective and celebrate the positive connections we do have. So do you have anything to add to that, dr Jeff?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I kind of want to focus a little bit more on the gratitude piece to add to that, dr Jeff. Yeah, I kind of want to focus a little bit more on the gratitude piece and then I also want to talk for a second about relationships and people's place in them. So first of all, gratitude One of the things that I find that in my practice of medicine that I feel a strong sense of gratitude to those people who value and come to me and my practice for their medical care, because that is something that without them, you know, I've got nothing to be able to be my family with.
Speaker 2:And you know being a doctor alone doesn't make you somehow financially sound. So you have to have patience. You have to have the people that you're serving and as soon as you mess up that understanding of that you're serving them, not the other way around, that they're serving you somehow for taking up your time, and I just am so grateful for those who come and see me and I often will tell them at the end of an encounter how grateful I am to have them come.
Speaker 1:Well, they're always so grateful for you.
Speaker 2:Well to me. It's my measure to tell them how important having them come to see me is to me.
Speaker 1:I love that I think that just adds a whole different layer of relationship with you. Know the connection with your doctor. I love that. I think that's wonderful.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you. And then the other piece I wanted to mention about relationships. Sometimes when you're in that trauma piece, when the going is really tough, the easy way out is to just leave. And a lot of people will just say, oh, he did that to you or she said that to you. Oh, you should just leave.
Speaker 2:But I'm here to tell you that if you have two people in a relationship who are really wanting to make it work, then work at it. It's worth it. But if you or your partner has sort of moved on in their mind, trying to do more or trying to love them harder or doing the things that you think they need, that will not recreate or rejuvenate a relationship. It can never be one-sided. But just remember, you may be. If you're on the fence on that, if you're not sure if you want to keep it going or not, then you've got to make some internal decisions and you've got to look at yourself first first, and then you can decide. But I recommend, if you decide to hang in the relationship, that you go all in and don't. You know, oh, test the water, oh, it's a little bit cold today, I'm not going to do anything. Or if it's, oh, it's too hot, I can't go in there.
Speaker 1:But you're also talking about more healthy relationships, those that can go in a direction that people are working together.
Speaker 2:Absolutely correct. That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, very important to remember yes, yeah, okay, excellent, wow.
Speaker 1:So today's discussion has been absolutely eyeopening and we've looked at how these hidden costs of toxic relationships impact not just our emotional health but our physical well-being too. So, from chronic stress and sleep disturbances to financial strain and emotional exhaustion, these costs can absolutely add up and weigh us down. But, as we shared today, by increasing our awareness and learning to recognize the symptoms, we can start to make healthier choices and protect our well-being. And I think one of the biggest takeaways is that, even amidst the struggles, there's real value in finding gratitude for the positive, healthy connections we do have. So thank you all so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Q&A Files.
Speaker 1:I hope this conversation has given you some tools to help you navigate challenging relationships, recognize hidden costs and embrace the blessings of healthy connections. If you enjoyed today's discussion, please consider sharing it with your friends and family, and please don't forget to hit subscribe so you don't miss any future episodes. We're here to answer your questions, so if there's something you're curious about related to medicine, relationships, nutrition or mental health or anything in between, please send your questions to trishajamesoncoaching at gmailcom and we'd love to answer them for you. So thanks again for joining us and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 2:Thanks, for the great question Bye.
Speaker 1:Thanks for tuning into the Q&A Files, Delighted to share today's gems of wisdom with you. Your questions light up our show, fueling the engaging dialogues that make our community extra special. Keep sending your questions to trishajamesoncoaching at gmailcom. Your curiosity is our compass. Please hit subscribe, spread the word and let's grow the circle of insight and community together. I'm Trisha Jameson signing off. Stay curious, keep thriving and keep smiling, and I'll catch you on the next episode.
