The Q&A Files
The Q&A Files drops A Wellness Explosion
💥 BOOM! Attention Wellness Warriors. The game changer you have been waiting for is finally here. Say hello to “The Q&A Files,” where wellness meets revolution and your questions lead to new discoveries. Spearheaded by Trisha Jamison, your host, a Board Certified Functional Nutritionist. Cohost Dr. Jeff Jamison, a Board Certified Family Physician, and featured guest, Tony Overbay, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. This podcast blends three diverse perspectives to tackle your questions on health, nutrition, medicine, mental wellness, and relationships. Dive into a world of expert insights and actionable advice, all sparked by your curiosity. Tune in, ignite your wellness journey, and join the Wellness Warrior community.
The Q&A Files
49. How can we navigate life's stressors while staying grounded and intentional? Part 2 of Randy's question. With Trisha Jamison, Dr. Jeff, and Tony Overbay
We delve into navigating life's stressors while maintaining joy, sharing ten actionable strategies to manage stress effectively. From adopting a long-term perspective to serving with gratitude, this episode offers valuable methods for cultivating a more intentional and joyful life.
• Reflecting on personal conditioning for awareness
• Starting each day with intention to set a positive tone
• Building self-trust through follow-through
• Adopting a long-term perspective on stress
• Compartmentalizing stress to maintain balance
• Regularly releasing tension before it builds up
• Stopping the habit of taking things personally
• Utilizing visualization techniques for success
• Choosing joy intentionally through gratitude
• Serving others with a grateful heart to shift perspective
If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review. We’d love to hear from you and share it with someone who might need a little extra calm this week.
Send Questions to trishajamisoncoaching@gmail.com
Hello and welcome to the Q&A file, the ultimate health and wellness playground. I'm your host, tricia Jamieson, a board-certified functional nutritionist and lifestyle practitioner, ready to lead you through a world of health discoveries. Here we dive into a tapestry of disease prevention, to nutrition, exercise, mental health and building strong relationships, all spiced with diverse perspectives. It's not just a podcast, it's a celebration of health, packed with insights and a twist of fun. Welcome aboard the Q&A Files, where your questions ignite our vibrant discussions and lead to a brighter you. Welcome, wellness warriors, to another episode of the Q&A Files. I'm Trisha Jamison, your host, joined by my two favorite co-pilots, dr Jeff and Tony Overbay.
Speaker 2:Hi everybody, and, to be fair, we're your only co-pilots. Oh, I guess that's fair, that's okay, I still feel very, but you're still my favorite. Yeah, thank you. I can still say you're my favorite. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:So today we're continuing our conversation about managing stress and finding joy, topics that are as universal as they are personal. So this episode is part of a two-part series inspired by a fantastic question from Randy how can we navigate life stressors while staying grounded and intentional? In part one, we introduce three very powerful strategies. Number one reflect on your conditioning or your patterns from your childhood. Two start each day with intention. Three trust yourself through. Follow through for yourself and for others. And today we'll dive into strategies four through 10. So we're going to have a busy time right now and exploring actionable ways to keep calm and find joy even when life feels overwhelming. We're also going to give a quick recap of all 10 strategies at the very end, so stay tuned. But let's get started and, as always, we're going to keep it light, fun and maybe even a little unpredictable, because we've got Tony on board and I can never control what he says.
Speaker 2:I already told myself, since you have so many to go, I'm going to be very tame. So that's funny that you brought that up.
Speaker 1:But we are going to start with celebrations and I'm going to go first because I've got something to celebrate. We've had two grandbabies one just before Thanksgiving, our little Adelaide, and then we had a Christmas baby. He was born on Christmas Day and so we've got a sweet little Christmas baby and his name is Owen, and we just want to welcome both of them into the world. And I've been able to be down in Utah and help with the families and has been a little bit crazy, but I've enjoyed it so much and Jeff has been so supportive. He's been coming and going and trying to participate as much as he can. We've had Braden here trying to do school as well, and it's been just a little bit nuts, but I've been so glad to be here. What are your guys' celebrations?
Speaker 3:Well, I have one and she's got a headset on today. I'm just so grateful for Tricia and for the work that she's done to try and keep all these things together, and it's quite a road to navigate the dynamics of different families and the different stressors that each of them face and to be a positive influence, and that's been quite a thing that she's been able to navigate with some difficulty lately, so I'm grateful for her.
Speaker 1:Wow. Well, it just wouldn't be life if there weren't challenges, right? Thank you, that was so sweet. I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:I appreciate your support as well.
Speaker 1:All right, Tony, what's?
Speaker 2:yours, I am going to celebrate this is going to be a bit ironic here. I'm going to celebrate health because currently I am struggling with mine. I hit 55 and thought I had life figured out, and then, about a week and a half ago, I woke up with what I think must be a pinched nerve, and so I'm a week and a half later, I had to have an MRI done yesterday.
Speaker 2:We're still waiting for the results but I have been incapacitated for a week and a half and it is such a crazy thing. It is giving me so much more empathy for people that have things like chronic pain. But I've got this spot in my back that's just radiating pain down into my arm, and I knew it was bad when I tried to do my normal pushups between sessions. I couldn't even really put weight on it, and so then I just struggled for a few days and then I finally went to the doctor and they referred me out for an MRI and I had that done yesterday and and uh, but it's.
Speaker 2:It's really interesting, because currently I'm doing that thing that I see clients do all the time, where I am now assuming that I will never get better, that I now like life as I know it has changed, I'll never run again. Um, this will be the pain I will be set with forever, and uh, and this will be the pain I will be set with forever, and so I'm currently trying to just notice that those are thoughts and feelings and emotions, and of course I will have them, because this is what I'm feeling. But, my goodness, it's there, there's that pain. I can think about it and it's there, and it's so wild. So I want to celebrate health and hopefully I will find it once again.
Speaker 1:I love that and you know, that's when you really appreciate what you have is when you things change, and that's how I felt with my hands too.
Speaker 3:And Tony, we should talk more about this off the recording. I would love to yeah, that sounds right.
Speaker 2:I was going to even see if. Yeah, if you like looking at MRIs, I will definitely send you mine.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 1:Okay, yep, okay, we'll talk more. Good, okay, awesome, okay. Well, I'm so sorry to hear that and I hope that you start feeling better very soon. Thanks, all right, let's go into number four. Four is adopt a long-term perspective. So here's one for both of you. When life gets overwhelming, do you ever stop and think will this matter in a year, or do you go full panic mode like the rest of us sometimes?
Speaker 2:And so it's so funny the lens I'm viewing things through, for the last week, week and a half is such a challenge because I would say I'm a person that and I like how simple you put that because in working in the world of differentiation, and what do I do with my discomfort now and wanting validation now and when you learn that, okay, those are all just those in those moments and you sit through some discomfort at times and do something just because it's the right thing to do, even if people don't jump up and down when I do it, then I think that has helped me cultivate this feeling of life is the long game, and then the more that I don't get so caught up in things that in that moment and think all or nothing thoughts, then it gets a lot easier. But currently that is not my mindset, so we can have to go. Yeah, I think I, I think I was in a good place with that, but now this is how I will always feel for the rest of my life, so it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:It feels like that anyway, yeah.
Speaker 3:There's times that yeah, when something's unrelenting like that, it just is hard, yeah, For me. I can't help but go to the aviation metaphors and I like to think of going to the 30,000 foot level of looking at things. The thing about being able to back up and look at things in a bigger picture allows us all to have time, and when you have time to think it through and to look at things in a broader perspective, taking that time usually gives you a better outcome than making a snap decision. So I like that. And that's back to building in a pause so that we don't make those reactive decisions but actually engage our frontal cortex and improve the opportunity for different thoughts. So I like that, and if I could just do that all the time, it would be really helpful. But I think that's a really good way to look at it just backing up and taking a moment, taking a beat, taking a breath, looking at what's going on and be able to make thoughtful decisions rather than reactive ones.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's really good and I think I always think about that.
Speaker 2:I've handled hard things before and I can handle them again, and plus it gives me a great excuse to kind of tell myself to relax and the future me has this Quotes and Thoughts is literally what it's called in my Google Docs, and one that I ran into recently was it's from Kierkegaard, who is a philosopher, but he says the ironic tragedy of life is that it has to be lived forward, but you can only make sense of it in reverse. So I kind of like that.
Speaker 1:That's cool, that's good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Say that again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So he says the ironic tragedy of life is that it has to be lived forward, but you can only make sense of it in reverse. So but knowing that is like this will make sense at some point I know it will. I'll be able to understand what, what did I learn, or how this turned out to be for my good Cause. I'm right now I can make no sense of of let me go back my theme. Really this, this pain, currently. I will appreciate it at some point. I know that that will be a thing. It will give me greater empathy. Something will happen, yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, hindsight's always 20-20. Yeah, I like that. That's very good, excellent, okay. Number five is compartmentalize your stress. So compartmentalizing stress is easier said than done. So, jeff, how do you manage to keep work stress from spilling into family time?
Speaker 3:Sometimes not very well.
Speaker 3:I'm working on that and I think that compartmentalization is one of the more important ways that we can improve that.
Speaker 3:And I think that for me, I have to compartmentalize 30 times a day and it makes it very difficult to keep it all straight sometimes, and what I mean by that is I see about 30 patients a day and so I go from one energy level of a person to another and I kind of have to maintain a way of injecting my energy into them, injecting my energy into them, into a patient, so that we can move forward.
Speaker 3:And sometimes you don't have to do much and there's not a lot of energy that I have to put into it, because they're already happy, and they're already, things are going well, or their pain is better, or they've just had a baby and things are really exciting for them. You know things like that. And then there's where the energy level is low and I've got to inject a lot, like if I've got to tell somebody they've got cancer or their diabetes is not under control or whatever the case may be, and then to take all of those things and put them all on the shelf and then come home and deal with the things that are at home is sometimes a challenge.
Speaker 1:And I think you do pretty well, though, I have to admit. Well, I appreciate that.
Speaker 3:I really do appreciate that, but some days it's harder than others and I really I have to take a moment sometimes on my drive home to go okay, I'm going home, I'm not in charge anymore, trish is in charge and I need to take a breath. I don't know what's going on, and so I have to make sure, and I honestly think that way, and so it really helps me to be able to go to change gears, and if you don't change gears when you change situations, you're likely to bring whatever problems or issues that you've been dealing with into that situation and making both of them worse.
Speaker 1:And sometimes that still happens. But the thing that helps me the most is when you come in and you say you know what it's been a rough day, and then it allows me to have empathy for you and to allow that time that you need to just calm down and just chill.
Speaker 3:Usually for me. I don't know about anybody else, but for me. I'm a bit of an introvert and so introverts need to have alone time to be able to recharge their batteries, to be able to give to the people around them. And sometimes when I come home after an especially hard day, I've got to take 15 minutes to an hour to just change gears. And then I'm usually pretty good and I can engage okay, but sometimes I just have to have that time.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 3:I know there are other people listening that can relate to that, and there are others that they dive right into having opportunities with their family or friends. That and that's what recharges their batteries and that's great and I love that about those people. I'm just not one of them.
Speaker 1:That's okay. That's okay. Thank you, and Tony, I feel like you've got a hack for this, so what's your secret?
Speaker 2:Oh, what's my hack? Okay, leave me Cause. I was sitting there, I like the changing gears thing, but then it's funny, I was, was in there, I like the changing gears thing, but then it's funny, I was saying, man, I still like that because I will deal with the doctor, a cop, somebody that will come home, and then they will bring that energy into the home and then the family won't necessarily appreciate that and maybe the person will feel like they don't care, and so I've done so many sessions around those kind of things. But then I just like when Dr Jeff said, though, that or others go and they need that that recharges their batteries when they come in and hey, dad's home. And that's more of who I am.
Speaker 2:But that compartmentalization I was already going to this place of evolutionary biology of the male brain and the female brain, and when I used to speak on this a lot, I would talk about that. There really is some data behind that where, you know, the male had to. When it's time to hunt, they had to hunt. When it's time to sleep, they had to sleep. When it's time to, you know.
Speaker 2:And then this is one I used to have this book. I forget what it was called, but it talked about why and, dr Jeff, maybe you can speak to this but women have, what is it? More visual cones, whatever it is. They can see depth of color, and their peripheral vision is wider, and the guys can apparently see, like, farther off. And these are these things where a guy had to be able to, that was for hunt, and you know, this is like, I know, gender stereotype, but females would be looking at the kids all on the plane and trying to protect from the predators that are to come snatch the kid, but then the man was out hunting, so they had to track down the I don't know, the wildebeest or whatever it was, and so they were bred to compartmentalize. But that didn't mean it was a good thing, though, because they could also turn off emotion when it wasn't time and go into fix-it mode, and so I don't know if any of those touch on the hack Tricia, but that's my brain went so many different directions with that.
Speaker 1:Well, I just, I just know that men have their little boxes in their brain.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:And they get out each box, depending on what they're doing, and they get out that little tools, whatever it is, and then they put those tools back in and put that box back on the shelf and get the next box up.
Speaker 3:What do you mean? Little tools and little boxes.
Speaker 1:Great big tools and great big boxes. Very powerful tools, very powerful boxes. Power tools, giant boxes. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2:But I think that I like that analogy, because then, but what if I've got my fix-it box out when I'm supposed to have my listening box? Right, because my listening box is a very small one and I have to blow the dust off the top of it before I open it up. My fixing one is very, very easily accessible and, matter of fact, the lid is always off, yeah Right.
Speaker 1:Exactly. Well, and I know it sounds weird, but something that if I'm stressed out, I'll say that if I can't deal with it at a certain time, I will literally put it on the shelf and think, okay, I can focus on this at 3 PM, whatever, and I have got to stay present right now. I cannot take care of this at this moment, but I tell my brain that I can at a certain time, and it's amazing because I will be reminded at 3 pm. Okay, do you remember? You said you were going to take care of me.
Speaker 3:That's really cool. That's a very male adaptation.
Speaker 1:Oh well, there you go, but it is true, I have appreciated that so I can stay present, I can stay in the moment and I don't have to worry about the things that are still spinning in my brain a little bit.
Speaker 2:The ADHD version of that is you put it up on the shelf and then it just gets shoved to the back and you forget all about it. And then somebody says hey, do you know this box is here, and then I'll deal with it. Yeah, so cause there's two timeframes now and not now?
Speaker 1:Right, and that is so true because unless we're standing in front of you or we have a son, that same situation and it's like hello, chase, we're here and he's like oh, yeah, now. Yeah, you've got my attention Right. Oh, that's so funny.
Speaker 3:I love that. Now and not now, that's great, exactly Okay.
Speaker 1:Six is release tension regularly. So let's talk tension. How do you both release stress before it builds up or if it turns into a meltdown moment? Be honest, no yoga cliches unless it's actually true.
Speaker 3:Oh boy, this is a hard one for me, because in my life I've used unhealthy coping mechanisms as well, and so I'm concentrating now on using healthy coping mechanisms when my stress levels get higher and it's a conscious choice, and sometimes what you can do is you can slip into the scrolling mode or you're just going to veg out in front of the TV or whatever things like that.
Speaker 3:But things that really do help for me. I just get into a great spot when I'm flying, and recently, because of weather and other things, I haven't been able to fly as much, and so that's a place that I'm having to kind of stuff my stresses into different corners of my being so that I can then release them in good places. The other things that help me is spending time with those that I truly enjoy and love. I have, of course, my family, and it's been really fun this holiday season to be able to spend time with almost all of our children and grandchildren, and that's been a source of relaxation for me. Also, things that help me are being able to, once in a while when I can do it, exercise, exercise, even though I don't do it as much as I should. It's something that I do have an improvement in my current well-being. When I do, I feel better about myself. I feel more relaxed when I'm done, even though my heart takes about 10 minutes to stop beating so fast, but it's still making progress.
Speaker 1:Hey, you did pretty well going up these hills in Utah. I was impressed. Well, thanks.
Speaker 3:But those things help me, and then, of course, just spending quality time with my wife does a great number for me, especially since we have developed over the last few years improved methods for communication and bonding, and this is something that has given me a great source of relaxation and centering.
Speaker 1:So Beautifully articulated. Thank you, tony.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm a simple one Meditation every single day. It's been years now, and even the last two years my meditation game has just gone up significantly. And then I don't take down days. I do exercise every day, I always do. I don't take a rest day, and now I don't know if I mentioned earlier I've hurt my back and arm. So that is driving me insane. And so, since this is the way I'm going to be for the rest of my life, I'm not quite sure what to do with that.
Speaker 2:I've meditated a lot more, and it is interesting because I can get myself in a nice meditative state where I really am feeling not as much of the pain. And so then I've got myself convinced that, okay, maybe that's one of the things I'm going to learn is how to I don't know redirect or rechannel pain, or I don't know. I'll go into all kinds of pretty interesting thoughts in that space, but my doctor already told me that I need to not run currently and that I could maybe do biking, as long as I don't, you know, as I keep my head up while I'm doing it, which is interesting for the way that the bikes work. So I don't know, right now I just want to get better because for me exercise has been 30 something years of my life, pretty much on a daily basis.
Speaker 1:It will be interesting to look back and see what you have learned during this time about you. Yeah, it is about you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, awesome.
Speaker 2:How about you?
Speaker 1:Well, I love to exercise too, so that's my main de-stressor. But breathing techniques huge, three deep breaths are very, very powerful for me. Staying grounded, I really do like to focus on the five senses. It just keeps me present, and when I find myself kind of spiraling in a way that I don't want to that is not healthy I just kind of have to bring myself back to center and just kind of even focus on something on the wall. So it just allows me to remember I'm here in the here and now, and it's been very helpful for me.
Speaker 2:I have a funny story I just have to tell. I'll make it quick, I don't. I maybe have one or two teenagers left on my schedule.
Speaker 2:It's people that I've worked with for off and on for a long time, and one that I was talking to yesterday and he's been struggling with some real, real depressive thoughts and we were talking a lot about getting yourself back into the present moment, and I think even on this show I've talked about how I'm trying to pull the five things the things I can smell and see and touch and hear, and I always forget whatever the fifth one was. So I throw out there or something, you know, things that whatever I can dance to and I'm not a dancer and so I told this guy this a long time ago, and so it was really funny because he was, we were checking in and he was telling me that when he's noticing these really negative thoughts, he does the, he's like I do the five senses and he went through probably the four I just noticed and he's like, and then I find a tune I can dance to and then he did a little jig on the video oh cute, and it was really funny.
Speaker 2:he knows that that isn't the thing, you know, but we just, we laughed a lot, so maybe that can be a thing it can be, a thing Keeps you present. The other one is taste, by the way, what's that? Okay, taste, yes, there we go. Oh, that's the one I always leave off. Taste smell touch, I could lick my microphone.
Speaker 1:Ear hearing. Forget I need some food or chocolate.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah and they always recommend cinnamon and lemon. Ah, yep, okay, yeah, oh, chocolate, that's a, that's a very important.
Speaker 1:Well, that's number one, chocolate is definitely number one. Yes, okay, seven. Stop taking things personally, yeah, yeah. So this is a tricky one. How do you keep from taking things personally when someone's being, let's say, just a little rude or a little less kind? What do you guys do?
Speaker 2:I'll tell you I'm going to stand in the old, healthy ego here, and this has been my journey of differentiation, in particular the last few years of that solid but flexible sense of self that if I know that I'm okay and I believe I am because I'm the only me going through life for the first time as me then I'm okay.
Speaker 2:And so then when somebody has a problem with me, then tell me more. And I really mean that now, and I think for a long time I didn't, and so I love this concept of I'm trying to put a number on it constantly, but let's say 90% solid, 10% flexible sense of self. So I'm operating from a place of, even if somebody's saying, well, why did you do that? Well, the reason is because I did, because I'm being me for the first time. But I'm leaving that 10% open to say but tell me what your experience was, because I do wanna be the best version of me and so my interactions with others are gonna help me understand myself more. But I think too often when we're in that people-pleasing mode, maybe we're a 30% solid and 70% flexible sense of self. So I need others to tell me what I need to do or how I need to show up in order, basically for them to think I'm okay and that's a them issue.
Speaker 1:Ah excellent. So for this one.
Speaker 2:I really like this one because I have noticed over the years I think it's such a gradual process, but I really do believe I'm okay. And it's such a cliche, but I believe it more than ever now that if you don't love yourself, then you really can't love someone else, because if I don't love myself, I'm trying to figure out how to get this person to love me so that I'm leaving it too much to them. But I'm okay now. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I appreciate that. Have you heard of the Let them Theory by?
Speaker 2:Mel Robbins.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we I have like 10 people reading this book.
Speaker 2:Same and it challenged me from an emotionally immature stance because I like it so much that I found myself reverting back to old therapist behavior I've had 10 years ago, where I was so jealous that I hadn't come up with something like that, right, and I was like, oh no, I'm noticing that, but it is such a good. It is such a good theory.
Speaker 1:Oh it's. It has been such a game changer, and what I'll do is I'll have clients read the first chapter and then I have them write one sentence of how they just taking a look at themselves, because so often you're thinking, oh, I wish so-and-so would read this this is for me, you know, and so I want them to share how is this chapter improving them and what steps do?
Speaker 2:you want to explain just in a sentence or two what the let them theory is, or?
Speaker 1:Sure, the let them theory is basically you let people do them and there's no judgment. There's no. And this is really hard because Mel Robbins goes into so many stories and she's so real. I just love her perspective. I love how she just can integrate so much realistic stories into her life that we can all relate to. But you can just let them, let them do their thing and you get to.
Speaker 1:Let you show up how you want to show up, and so that's the focus is not necessarily letting them, it's how are you going to show up differently? How are you going to just let this go and focus on the things that you can do? She shares a story about this guy on the airplane. I don't want to give too much away, but how she handles this guy behind her and his behavior and then what she had to do to kind of just move through, that was really impressive. But she definitely shares plenty of how often she did things wrong, and that's the real life part, because we all know that that's we're all human when we make human mistakes, and that's what makes life so challenging. I love it yeah.
Speaker 3:So we should put her book in the show notes so that people can access that. I totally agree that this is a life-changing thought process. This is a process it's not like we haven't thought of this before, but she's put words to it that make it more I don't know human and doable, and so this is something that I just really I really recommend is spending some time going through this. It's about a 10-hour listen on Audible Books and however long it takes you to read, if you read the book, but it's worth it.
Speaker 1:And this is what. So, oh sorry, go ahead. I was just going to say real quick.
Speaker 3:Go ahead, tricia go ahead.
Speaker 1:Just real quick. I was just going to say you know what's good when your 17-year-old son is like can we just go for a drive so we can listen to our book? Wow, that's when you know this is a good book. So I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you, jeff.
Speaker 3:That's all right, I don't remember what I was going to say now. Oh, I'm sorry. No, that's okay. So, anyway, I just think it's really a great way. Oh, I do remember now. Oh good, let me just say something. I'm so. The thing that is interesting is that you have to differentiate between letting them be adults, but you can't do the same thing for children. Children have different perspectives and different instruction. They are not in a place where you can just let them run wild.
Speaker 2:If they want to drive the car, you're not going to say at 13,. You're like, well, let them. Yeah, we can't do that.
Speaker 3:So this let them theory is geared towards adults, for adults, and there are ways that you can adapt it to children and parenting, but it's meant to be for adult relationships.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and she goes through the child perspective as well. It's so good. We just highly recommend this. So I hope that you all those listening out there will take advantage of Mel Robbins great words of wisdom. Or you can just walk away and eat chocolate, right, let them Okay, awesome.
Speaker 3:That means you have to let me eat chocolate.
Speaker 1:I know you need to let me eat chocolate. I'm still waiting for those chocolate chip cookies that Tony's promised.
Speaker 2:You haven't got those.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:And you haven't sent them.
Speaker 1:So don't even.
Speaker 2:No, you're gaslighting me now Okay.
Speaker 1:Eight is visualize success. So here's a fun one. Do either of you use visualization Like do you mentally prep for big moments, or is that just an athlete thing to do?
Speaker 3:Okay for me. There are definite times I'm visualizing, for instance, if I've got to tell somebody really bad news and how I'm going to discuss that with them and leaning on our relationship so that I can recognize the best way or best path to go down. So I think about that just before I enter a room with a patient behind the door. And the other place that I do this that is really important in all those that are in the airplane is to plan a flight, and I usually think about the flight and how I'm going to handle it, which airports, the airspeed, all of those things way before we get in the airplane, so that I know what we're doing before we start. And that helps a lot to make sure that every flight is a good flight.
Speaker 1:Excellent. Love that, tony.
Speaker 2:Well, and I like where Dr Jeff's going with that, because I as an athlete, I've done the visualization there for sure, but I think in life I do it in a much more condensed way because I do.
Speaker 2:I think I even texted you guys last night looking at my schedule for today and I noticed some scheduling conflicts I had.
Speaker 2:And I like to just give some notice who am I meeting with and what is that going to look like and what are those the challenges there may be struggling with? Or, uh, I'll think often about before I hit record on a podcast or okay, what, what is this going to? Where am I going to go with this and what are my hopes? Or I'm doing a live with one of my daughters and I do like to just kind of do a quick visualization of of it and I think it just brings me some comfort and, uh, and I will, I will just think through what seeing a client in my office or virtually, or whatever that looks like, and so I know that it isn't maybe mapping the entire session out, but I just, I like, I do like this thought of this is what it's going to look like and it brings me some comfort, I think, and I don't think I really thought of it that way until you just brought that up.
Speaker 3:Well, sometimes for me there are times when I actually ask a patient to come in and see me because I have a goal in mind in that appointment time. Most of the time when I see patients, they're coming to me because of something they want, and rarely I have patients come in because there's something I need to give them, and so when there's, then I have a specific agenda in mind during that encounter and so having that kind of laid out in my mind really helps it go much more smoothly and I can ask better questions and move through the encounter with a positive outcome. I like that move through the encounter with a positive outcome.
Speaker 2:I like that. I think I always do say to clients that I always have an agenda, but the therapist in me is saying, okay, well, let's start from where you're at, because if I just force my agenda I might get to the end and then they tell me some dramatic thing that they really wanted to make sure we addressed. But I will always, yeah, but I always have an agenda of things that we can do or that I think would be helpful.
Speaker 3:Cool. What do you do, Tricia?
Speaker 1:Well, I like that Tony brought up being an athlete. I was a sprinter back in the day and I always visualized a great start out of the blocks, going around the corner and leaning into it, and then just the feel of that tape going across your chest, you know, winning the race. And I feel like I have been able to utilize that experience into so many other parts of my life. And sometimes it's interesting because when I'm struggling with something, I imagine myself in that race and I'm going around the corner, because that's a lot of times where I would gain. My speed is around the corner and I could just usually take them at that time. And I still do that. I will like. If I'm struggling with something, I'm like, OK, I'm just going around the corner and I'm going to get this and I'm going to make it through this difficult time and it's been very helpful for me. So, yes, I do that as well.
Speaker 2:I like it. I make the joke that while I'm an athlete, I've never felt that ribbon across my chest winning a sprint or anything. Yeah, that must be.
Speaker 3:They don't do that for long runs.
Speaker 2:No, we don't yeah.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 3:You wake everybody up and say, oh, another runner's coming in. Yeah, nowadays they don't even use the tape at all, because that was a way to tell who actually crossed the finish line at first, where, if it was close. Well, now they have photo finishes For sure, so they don't even do it anymore, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was a thing in the day for sure. Okay, number nine, choose joy intentionally.
Speaker 2:So joy isn't accidental, it's something we have to choose. What's one small thing you do to bring joy into your?
Speaker 3:day I was.
Speaker 2:I was sharing with someone just yesterday that there is legitimate data around gratitude. That is a, that is a thing. If I am every night trying to write down a couple of things I've been grateful for they have to be different Then I'm going throughout the day looking for those things to be grateful for and I'm noticing that I am much more grateful for most things. And and you know the whole mechanism of memory I'm I'm thinking something and I really that's the part where I know that when I've got a lot of content out there, I say that one can't just choose to be happy, but it's, there's so much context around it because they can. But it's like in the moment when I'm noticing that I am being present, what can I bring into that moment? I can bring in the but here are the good things about this moment or versus the, here are the proverbial bad things of the moment. So you can shape that memory by packing in all of the things that are happening in that moment. And so when I will speak, for example, I love saying to somebody if something resonates with you, I want you to sit back, I want you to like open up your chest, I want you to take in those who are around you. I want you to see the sunlight pouring through the room. I want you to you know whatever it looks like and create this memory that this is. This is a good moment right now, because your brain is going to consolidate and file that memory away and it's going to pack with it all the implicit details that were happening right then. Was I angry? Did I? Was I running late? It's the person beside me kicking my chair. You know all those things Cause, but so I do that. That's where I was like.
Speaker 2:For me personally, where I think that choice comes in is I can choose what things to almost like consolidate in that memory and that moment, and I think I'm very good at making those good. Right now, I'm trying to bring a lot of humor into this whole arm thing. So I mean, I think I'm going to have a lot of comedy gold from this thing if this is besetting me for the rest of my life. But I will notice there are times where I also want to pack in some and the stinks stuff as well and I'm like noted it does. But look at all the fun I'm having. I don't know if I'm buying that. Yet Back to you.
Speaker 1:Well, hopefully you'll be able to look back and go, wow, this was quite the experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yes, okay, jeff.
Speaker 3:Okay, well for me. I have to just remember the whys.
Speaker 1:Why am I doing this?
Speaker 3:Why am I making these sacrifices of myself? Why am I working this hard? Why am I? You know, if I remember the whys, then it brings joy into my heart. And the whys for me are family. And seeing the smiles on the faces of my children and my wife, seeing the grandchildren run around me and have snuggles with grandsons and granddaughters, I mean these are the whys, this is the why I do it. And sometimes, when things get tough, all I have to do is take a deep breath and remember why I'm doing it and then, all of a sudden, I can move on.
Speaker 1:That's powerful Love, that. So I feel like joy doesn't have to be complicated, and I think sometimes we make it too complicated, but I think it's just finding the tiny moments of delight and, just like Jeff mentioned, playing with grandkids, I mean that just brings so much joy to me. I love cooking something delicious for people I like to serve. I like to dance around in my kitchen, you know, and definitely the journaling that's really important and just focusing on gratitude I think brings a lot of joy.
Speaker 3:And another thing that brings us joy is having people give us feedback on this podcast. It's really fun.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, we would love that Number 10, serve with a grateful heart. This is a great segue into what we just talked about, but service is such a powerful way to shift perspective. How do you see service playing a role in your life? Jeff, let's go with you.
Speaker 3:I feel like my entire life is service, and I'm in a fortunate position to where I get paid to serve, but at the same time, it still takes energy from me, and so service can be something that you can do with drudgery, or service can be something that you can do and have joy in the doing of it, and that's the way I choose to do it. There are days I mean there's days that a person comes in that smells so bad you just go. Oh my gosh, why am I doing this? Or having to address a abscess that is so big.
Speaker 1:You love that though.
Speaker 3:I mean, but there's a lot of downsides to it. I like the way that it helps people feel better when I relieve the pressures and pain that come from something like this and then, you know, even like when Tony has got this trouble with his neck and arm and so on and back.
Speaker 3:These are things when I'm able to find out what it is and to help people get through it, that is something that makes me happy and brings joy to me when I can see those things and to feel like I'm actually listening to people when they bring me their issues and validate their concerns and, even if I can't do anything about it, helping them know and feel that they are cared for. The one thing that I've always kept in the back of my mind and I'm not sure where I got this quote, but it's a great quote and that's people will never remember what you did for them, but they will always remember how you made them feel, and so that's one of the things I concentrate on, especially when and in medicine, there's lots of things I can't do, I can't fix, and that's really frustrating, but at least they can know I care and that they've been heard.
Speaker 1:I like that, oh great. And I think in medicine, whether it's medicine or counseling or coaching, that is the service, that is the foundation of everything we do. So it's how we connect, tony.
Speaker 2:I don't think I can add much to that. I really like what Dr Jeff says. I go often back and forth in my mind of okay, if somebody is going to, let's say, in my world, turn to something unhealthy whether it's coping mechanism or ruminating or beating themselves up, or then I think, to serve or not to serve, serve, but then ideally to serve because you want to serve. You know it's going to allow somebody to probably find more meaning in it. But if it's just the activity itself, I fully endorse it because it's better than ruminating and turning to an unhealthy coping mechanism. But, man, when somebody can pour themselves into serving another person, they're getting outside of their own head and I think that's such a powerful tool. And if you do it enough, when you notice you want to turn to some unhealthy coping mechanism, you find yourself already thinking of what can I do to help someone else? And I think that one's really powerful. What can I do to help someone else?
Speaker 1:And I think that one's really powerful. Very good, yeah, and I think for me, service is joy. So, whether it's through coaching or just helping someone in need, it's a reminder that connection is what matters most, and I love that part.
Speaker 2:Okay, so yes we did it.
Speaker 1:So quick recap of all 10 strategies before we sign off. Here's the 10. Number one reflect on your conditioning. Recognize your stress response patterns and recondition them. Two start each day with intention. Set a positive tone for the day by beginning with purpose. Three trust yourself through. Follow through. Build self-trust by keeping commitments to yourself and to others. Four adopt a long-term perspective. Reframe stress as temporary to cultivate hope. Five compartmentalize your stress. Set boundaries on worry to keep it contained. Six release tension regularly. Transition smoothly by letting go of stress. Seven stop taking things personally. Step back, pause and process emotions objectively. Eight visualize success Mentally, rehearse success to boost confidence. Nine choose joy intentionally. Create small meaningful moments of happiness. Create small meaningful moments of happiness.
Speaker 1:10. Serve with a grateful heart. Focus on helping others to shift perspective and fill purpose. So I'd love for you, all of us on the call, to try incorporating one or two of these into your daily routine and just see what happens. Thank you all for joining me on the Q&A Files with Tony and Dr Jeff today. And Randy, I want to thank you for your question, which sparked such a thoughtful and fun conversation. So again, listeners, we hope these strategies inspire you to take small, intentional steps toward a calmer, more joyful life. So start with one or all, if you like, and use these tools and see what happens. If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review. We'd love to hear from you and share it with someone who might need a little extra calm this week. And, of course, send us your questions at trishajamesoncoaching at gmailcom, and we'd absolutely love hearing from you. So until next time, remember, choose calm, cultivate joy and keep asking those big questions. Take care everybody, thank you.
Speaker 2:Bye everyone. Thanks everybody.
Speaker 1:Thanks for tuning in to the Q&A Files, delighted to share today's gems of wisdom with you. Your questions light up our show, fueling the engaging dialogues that make our community extra special. Keep sending your questions to trishajamesoncoaching at gmailcom. Your curiosity is our compass. Please hit subscribe, spread the word and let's grow the circle of insight and community together. I'm Trisha Jameson, signing off. Stay curious, keep thriving and keep smiling, and I'll catch you on the next episode.
