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The Q&A Files drops A Wellness Explosion
💥 BOOM! Attention Wellness Warriors. The game changer you have been waiting for is finally here. Say hello to “The Q&A Files,” where wellness meets revolution and your questions lead to new discoveries. Spearheaded by Trisha Jamison, your host, a Board Certified Functional Nutritionist. Cohost Dr. Jeff Jamison, a Board Certified Family Physician, and featured guest, Tony Overbay, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. This podcast blends three diverse perspectives to tackle your questions on health, nutrition, medicine, mental wellness, and relationships. Dive into a world of expert insights and actionable advice, all sparked by your curiosity. Tune in, ignite your wellness journey, and join the Wellness Warrior community.
The Q&A Files
74. The Color Code, Bridging Red and White: Finding Connection Across Core Motives With "Kat" Larson Part 2
Dive into the fascinating world of core motives and discover why understanding the "why" behind your actions could revolutionize every relationship in your life. Kathy Larson returns for part two of our exploration of the Color Code system, revealing the crucial difference between personality traits and core motives that drives our behavior at the deepest level.
Most relationship challenges stem from fundamental misunderstandings about what drives us. When a power-motivated Red and a peace-seeking White try to communicate without understanding these differences, the results can be frustrating for both. One partner feels steamrolled while the other feels ignored. Kathy unpacks this dynamic with practical wisdom, offering tangible strategies for bridging these differences without either person abandoning their authentic self.
The episode takes a surprising turn when we explore the concept of "character development" - how we can intentionally develop strengths from colors that don't come naturally to us. Kathy shares her personal journey as a Yellow working on commitment (a Blue strength), while I reflect on my growth in becoming more direct and confident (Red qualities) despite my Blue tendencies to prioritize harmony over clarity. These stories illustrate how understanding your core motive frees you to expand rather than limiting you to a box.
Perhaps the most powerful revelation is how the Color Code aligns with emotional intelligence development. Reds naturally excel at motivation, Yellows at social skills, Blues at empathy, and Whites at self-regulation - while self-awareness remains the foundation everyone must build. This framework provides a roadmap for personal growth that honors your innate wiring.
We're thrilled to announce our upcoming collaboration with the Color Code team to integrate these powerful insights into our Healing Hearts program for struggling couples and our new White Coats and Worn Hearts initiative specifically designed for physician couples navigating burnout and relational disconnect. Whether you're just discovering your color or looking to apply this knowledge more effectively, this episode offers both the understanding and practical tools to transform how you see yourself and connect with others.
Questions? Email us at trishajamisoncoaching@gmail.com
Hello and welcome to the Q&A Files, the ultimate health and wellness playground. I'm your host, Trisha Jamison, a board-certified functional nutritionist and lifestyle practitioner, ready to lead you through a world of health discoveries. Here we dive into a tapestry of disease prevention, to nutrition, exercise, mental health and building strong relationships, all spiced with diverse perspectives. It's not just a podcast, it's a celebration of health, packed with insights and a twist of fun. Welcome aboard the Q&A Files, where your questions ignite our vibrant discussions and lead to a brighter you. Welcome back, friends.
Trisha Jamison:If you missed last week's episode with Kathy Larson, be sure to go back and catch part one.
Trisha Jamison:It's packed with powerful insights on motive communication and how the color code can transform the way we relate to ourselves and the people we love most. Today, in part two, we're continuing our conversation with Kathy as we dive into her new book with Dr Taylor Hartman, break down the important difference between personality and core motive and explore why understanding that distinction can be a total game changer in relationships. We'll also be answering Rachel's heartfelt question how can a red and a white, two very different core motives, learn to truly connect without shutting down or blowing up? And we have even more exciting news to share about our upcoming collaboration with the Color Code team and how this work is becoming a key part of our new curriculum. You won't want to miss it, so let's jump right back in. So excited to have you back, Kat and Dr Jeff. This is so exciting. We're learning so much about the Color Code and our core values and all the things that come with that and our motives, and it's just so fascinating.
Jeff Jamison:Yeah, we learned a little too much about me last week, so anyway, no, no awesome, so so good You're an.
Trisha Jamison:XRC guy yeah, so good. So we have a few more questions and we'll get to our listener question. But have you ever seen someone resist or misinterpret their color?
Kat Larson:And how do you gently guide them back to self-awareness? Yeah, this isn't always easy. You know some people don't find it fun or easy to look at it. Many times people don't like their core color.
Jeff Jamison:It's hard to swallow the red pill.
Kat Larson:Sometimes it is, or they want to be. You know, I want to be more yellow, I want to have more fun, and my conversation is you can do all of that. You first have to own your core. It's like coming home, it's like breathing right. You have to go. This is who I am and you have to appreciate that who you are, instead of always wanting to not be that way.
Kat Larson:So what we work on is what is it about it? And usually it's some filter or something that happened in their life, some kind of piece of information that they got, maybe in their home. It it wasn't valued. You know, there's a lot that can happen. If you have a parent who is white and you have this blue child and you know there's a lot of dynamic that happens that kids can get a message, not that a parent is sending it on purpose, but get a message is this, this isn't good, or who I am isn't right, which is easy to do in life, right? So? And not, parents don't mean to do that, it's just they're trying to figure it all out.
Kat Larson:Gosh, we're parents here and you know, trying to figure it all out and say what happens to me when I start getting judgmental when I start getting afraid, when fear takes over, when all these things happen, because we'd want to live in the strengths of all the colors that's called being healthy and charactered, as opposed to unhealthy and dysfunctional in the other colors, and we can dig into that, but it's a gentle. The other colors, and we can dig into that, but it's a gentle. You know, I have to kind of find, as, as you all know, you know, just having relationships is you have to find what the block is and if people can see what's right about them, because I do believe that there's so much right about everybody that we don't start with, as opposed to because what they usually don't like and don't accept is the negative piece of it. Sure, that negative piece that we can, we can fix, we can change. There's a second part of this called the character code. You know there's six beautiful transformational steps that take us out of a limitation. I've done it.
Trisha Jamison:I was uncommitted I mean, that sounds so fascinating.
Kat Larson:Share just a little bit more about the character it's looking at so say, for me, I was uncommitted as a yellow, I had to look at it. How did I become more committed? I went to you can't find it in your yellow, it's not going to be there, because yellows tend to be. They want freedom, and yellows say freedom comes with lack of commitment. Well, you know, newsflash, it's actually the opposite the more committed you are, the more freedom you get, which I learned, right, right. So that's a beautiful thing.
Kat Larson:But once I learned to look at a blue, you first of all, you have to value yourself. So the work on valuing yourself and how you see yourself is step one, right, and there are six steps and we can go through all of it. But in a nutshell, once I go through these steps of commitment to truth, picking a role model, understanding where I need to go, you know all of these different dynamics that gather. Then I start living. For me, it was a blue. I got a role model, I got a mentor, what it looked like to be committed. How do I do that work? How do I get it as one of my anchors every day? And I wasn't committing to everything I was committing to probably Trisha you'll laugh. You know like cause you are know how to commit right. That's something you do well, right and and regs too. They know how to commit right.
Kat Larson:That's something you do well, right and and regs too. They just know how to commit to something for different reasons. You know one's for achievement, the other is for that emotional connection and commit to people. And so once I learned what that dynamic felt like and I started having a relationship with my discomfort of it, I started to trust myself. Once I trusted myself, I started to build value of self. Then I started bringing in other things and letting go of the negative. But I had to name it. I did not want to say I was uncommitted, I didn't. I mean, I fought that for five years.
Trisha Jamison:I can appreciate that, yep, I can see that that could be a real challenge. I can appreciate that, yep, I can see that that could be a real challenge.
Kat Larson:It is for anybody. You know who wants to live that Right. When you get your profile, when you take a profile, as you saw, there's all these strengths and limitations and that's a really great place to start. You can't hide from that. And when people try to hide from it.
Kat Larson:It's explaining it away, not owning it, not going, not being a learner and saying, okay, let's pretend this is true. I might be not be able to say it the whole way, but let's pretend it is true, right, um? And then we start getting feedback and we start working on those limitations. It's not easy. I've been working on commitment and dependable for 40 years I mean literally when I was in my twenties. So it's and it's ongoing. I don't. I do it pretty easily now, as you guys have. You guys have done it too right. Is there something you've worked on in your life to get to that?
Trisha Jamison:was a an obstacle. Yeah, I've worked on being more bold and more straightforward, getting to the point being a little more red, because I am in a place in my practice and in my career that I need that. I need that personality to come out at times, that confidence, that surety, that all those pieces to come together that help me move forward in the direction I'm going. And Trisha?
Kat Larson:what was the fear behind being direct? Could you recognize it?
Trisha Jamison:Yeah, I didn't feel like I was being kind, that's it. I didn't feel like I was being nice.
Kat Larson:Yeah, really, truth is kind, direct communication is the kindest thing, yeah, so we pick up these things along the way we are. You know, truth is like the thing that sets you free, right, I mean it's. I mean it comes from the big man upstairs, right, it's like you have to have it. So I love, what a great journey for you and that's brave. I mean, that takes a lot of work, I know.
Trisha Jamison:Seriously. But it's been nice because Jeff does have a lot of red tendencies and he coached me, he helped me with those positive aspects of him to help me move through some of my parts of me. That's the fear driven, the oh my goodness, can I really do this?
Jeff Jamison:you know, not feeling that confidence well, I think you're also so afraid of not being nice that you flower. You know you? You fluff up the questions or the statements in such a way that they almost get lost with any impact Do?
Trisha Jamison:you still feel like that?
Jeff Jamison:You're getting better, but we had to even talk through one of those in the recent past and you know we can talk about that another time. But, yeah, this is something that once you and I were able to. Okay, what is the core of your question here? What do you really want to know? And finally, it's like, well, I just really want to know this. And it's like, thank you, I just needed to know what you wanted me to. Here's the answer to your question, right?
Kat Larson:Yes, well, and I think in that when you look at the value of self and you and you seek truth and you clean your motives, which is what we're talking about, what you did Trisha is like the motive of probably acceptance and approval is wrapped around your kindness, right, and you know that that's something to look at. But when you clean your motives, when we say that in in the Hartman color code, it is living in your strengths, that's a clean motive. A dirty motive is living in your limitation, because I can't be judgmental and be clean. I can't get to truth with judgmental. So I have to clean up my dirty motives and I have to look at it and say what do I have to get out of the way before I can really grow to the next step?
Kat Larson:And I think you can weaponize those as well 100%.
Trisha Jamison:You can weaponize anything. Definitely, yeah, for sure. Yeah, so I kind of think of, like. Your personality is like the wrapping paper and the gift inside is your core motive, is that kind of like? That's how I'm envisioning what that looks like, because that's the your gift is the core motive, it makes you who you are.
Kat Larson:That's right. That's right Because and it and it goes through, and it and it looks at your. It affects your behavior, your thinking, your values, your needs, your wants, everything that makes you who you are Exactly.
Kat Larson:And as you guys have known in your practices both of you is that when people get that information right, when people get the clarity of the information and they can see themselves for who they are which is this just beautiful thing, right? Um, even if they, their whole life they weren't because they didn't think the way somebody else did, maybe, or act some other way, or didn't achieve the way that parents wanted them to or somebody in their life wanted them to, it is so freeing, you know, to be able to go wow.
Trisha Jamison:I get to be me, the real me, the authentic, raw. Yeah, that's right. I think that's fantastic, excellent. Well, thank you both of you. So what are some of the biggest misconceptions people have about the color code and how do you help them reframe it?
Kat Larson:Well, that's a good question. I think the biggest thing is the misconception that people want to tie it to. My mom and dad were this way and that's why I became who I was. Like my mom is a red, my dad is. Let's say, my mom is red, my dad is a white, so I have to be one of those. This is. There's an aspect of this that has nothing to do with the science of it. Okay, that is clear. Is you are born with it? I have two kids. How many kids you guys have six?
Kat Larson:six oh, my goodness, you have. I love this. This is the best question for you guys. So, of those six children, are any of them exactly the same? None of them well we wish that we were. When did you know they were different?
Jeff Jamison:oh, uh like about six months old dragging home from the hospital.
Kat Larson:Yeah, so that aspect of it, that that uniqueness and that beauty that comes with each individual, that is not like nothing else. What do we have? You know how many billions of pieces of genetic material that is not like anybody else's. Nobody has my fingerprint.
Kat Larson:That uniqueness is hard for people to look at it and say, oh, I come with this. So what I ask them to do is just live in it for a little bit and see what comes up. It's not for everybody. I get it, Not everything else, but I really feel like if they live in it a little bit and again, it's always fear that stops them right, this is a simple. It's not simplistic, it's simple but it's deep.
Kat Larson:So when you look at it and you say, I know there are people that read their stuff and go, oh my gosh, this is so me Right. And then there are people that struggle with it and it's a great place to start. So I think, understanding that you come with it and owning that, I think that they want to be all colors. Right, I want to be. You know, somebody will say, well, I'm a red. Well, also, you're, you're pretty hardcore and you, you know you hit it at home and you don't connect. You know you hit it at home and you don't connect. You know as well as you should, oh no, but but at home I'm a blue, oh you hear that often though, yeah, and then oh, so, so you're.
Kat Larson:so you really like to connect and there's you. You know you can get in there and you can, and you like to fight and work things out. Well, no, really more with. I'm a white that way. I'm much more kind that way. So they like to jump in all the colors, which is really understandable, and I say you can't. But unless you own your core, you are going to be exhausted running through life trying to be all things.
Jeff Jamison:I think that sometimes, when they do that, though, they're seeing what they wish they were at home and what they wish they were at work or whatever, and that they see themselves in certain ways that they wish they had, but they're not quite there and they don't own it.
Trisha Jamison:And I think, too, along with that. I think that they're not focusing on the positive pieces. It's the negative pieces that they don't want to be part of, but there's so much of the positive that they can incorporate and focus on and, you know, really hone in on. And so I I think that that's where I get a lot of people. It's like well, I don't want to be this, I want to be this instead. Just what Jeff was talking about, and you know, one of the things that I share is that you know you want to be a little of all the colors, because every single color has't move into that space until you have acknowledged and you have owned your original color. And then, once you have, then you can move. Yeah, that's how you value yourself. Yeah, I love that that makes so much sense.
Kat Larson:Yeah, so I worked on white. White is the thing that really brings me for me, for my personality, to listen, to be objective, to step back, not always having to be the center like yellows like to do. I've worked on white. I wear a white band. I mean I have these color bands that I wear that, say, I wear it to remind myself, and silly little things like this. That's like, right now, here's what I want. It could be unhealthy. So I go back to what would a white do? They would listen, they would ask more questions, they would get more curious. They would say tell me more about that, right? So it helped me tremendously.
Trisha Jamison:I love that, and so my colors are mostly blue, white, yellow and red, and so I was surprised how much more white I had. I didn't have that much white 20 years ago. But I also think that those questions have changed somewhat because, like I mentioned earlier, just before we got on it's it used to be you take, you know, I think, the first 25 or something like that 2016, the first 16. And it's as a child, and then after that it's later in life, and so I think that that significantly changed our colors, because now it's mostly as a child and adolescent that's the focus of you know how you grew up, yeah, yeah, and I think that's something that that, when you look at it, you say did you agree with it?
Kat Larson:Trisha, when you looked at your profile that you took last night, it made sense.
Trisha Jamison:Okay, I was kind of. I mean, I've always been really fun and happy and just you know, but as a child I had a hard life, you know my dad was an alcoholic and with that came so many challenges I don't think I really could hard life.
Trisha Jamison:You know, my dad was an alcoholic and with that came so many challenges I don't think I really could have fun. But my mom is super fun, so positive, happy. She's got a lot of yellow. You know she's all blue too, but, right, I think that that prevented me. I feel like in a way that kind of stunted my growth somewhat. Oh yeah, but I also recognize how important it was for the white. I guess in a way I've always thought of white being more problematic because they're stubborn, they're sometimes hard to to deal with, but they're also the peacemakers and they're passive-aggressive, and you know they're. But they they do listen and and I do all those things, you know it was really most frustrating thing, just so you know as a blue, your core blue, because you're quite blue, right?
Kat Larson:yes, yeah, that is the most frustrating thing, which is is here's this intimacy motive coming in, along with peace? They don't like conflict. So it's this hey, tell me, talk to me. I want to know. And sometimes whites are just like I'm good, I'm going to give you on their terms, because they don't need all of that. And sometimes whites can be selfish with that because it makes them uncomfortable, because they're afraid it might turn into something that they don't want to get in the middle of in terms of emotional turmoil.
Trisha Jamison:Right, so it's really yeah, yeah.
Kat Larson:So you have to look at it and go. I mean, do you have any or any of your children? Do you think any of your children are white?
Trisha Jamison:Yes.
Kat Larson:So that's hard right. As a blue mom, yes, what do you do? And, like you know, the one thing we don't ever want to do is like to punish your white If they did something wrong. You never want to send them to their room because they're like yes, everybody, leave me alone, I'm in my room by myself.
Trisha Jamison:I never thought of it quite like that before. That's funny, oh, that's so funny.
Kat Larson:Yeah, so, oh, that's so funny. Yeah, so, because you're looking for, tell me about and give me and I want to know you. And they're like I'm good, I'm good, right, true I'll tell you when I want you to know something exactly so, so good, excellent, well, thank you, thank you.
Trisha Jamison:Okay. So we have a question from Rachel, and Rachel is speaking right into the kind of growth that we're just discussing right here and she says my husband and I took the color code a few years ago. He's a classic red and I'm white. Here we are, and let me just say I love this man deeply, but there have been so many moments where I have felt completely steamrolled in conversations. He comes in strong, certain, solution-focused. Meanwhile I'm over here craving calm, reflection and a space to think. So please put me in timeout right.
Trisha Jamison:According to the color code, his core motive is power and mine is peace, and while that insight helped us understand each other better, it didn't magically fix how we communicate, especially when tensions rise, because what often happens is I shut down to keep the peace and he interprets that as avoidance or disinterest. He gets more assertive and I pull back even further, and around we go, and around and around. So here's my question how do we communicate in a way that honors both of our motives? How can I stay present without feeling overwhelmed, and how can he feel heard without needing to dominate the conversation? So, kathy, would you say to someone?
Trisha Jamison:trying to balance these very different motives Well.
Kat Larson:I think the way to do it is, first of all, you recognize and you look at and you say here's what's happening, because you know when you look at it they're both logical, so they tend to shy away from that emotion piece Right. Reds and whites are logic based. Blues and yellows are emotion based, and that's an important thing to look at. I mean, I also think that they're good decision makers. I think they need to do a. What are we good at together? And then what can we work on together? Because a red can overpower and intimidate because they get impatient and a white will say you're right, it's not worth the problem.
Trisha Jamison:And it's the tone Sometimes it's that tone that shuts them down Exactly.
Kat Larson:That's exactly right, and the ability to go okay, what is our biggest problem? I wouldn't take, especially with a red and white. You're not going to sit down and have a four hour talk. A blue and a white might. A blue would do all the talking, but a blue and a white might, right, so you'd be able to.
Kat Larson:That was a joke. It was a joke, not really, because, by the way, whites can get really stubborn and just go shut down. Fine, I'm not engaged, because they might be feeling like they're bullied. But what you have to do is you have to look at it and go okay, what are we good at All? Right, so let's put a one topic on the table, all right.
Kat Larson:And then one thing I do sometimes is I have them write out their responses to it, because the talking, right, it's a great thing for a white and a red to write out. Here's our issue, here's what I see the points are. Here's what I see a solution as being. Then we switch papers and then we say, oh, but there has to be mutual respect, and sometimes reds don't respect whites because they're not telling them, they're not giving them anything, they just shut down. She might be, you know, shutting down the more strong he gets. His job is don't get strong, don't overpower. It's easy to do. He's learned how to shut down a conversation he doesn't want to be in. Okay, does that that clear?
Trisha Jamison:oh for sure yeah, that's what I always talk about is is getting on each other's map. That's what I call it. And so, just like at the beginning, we talked about how jeff needed to get on chase's yellow map in order for him to communicate and connect with him. He needed to be a yellow yellow. And if I want to connect more with Jeff, I need to be more of a red, I need to be direct, I need to know what I want and not sugarcoat everything. But if Jeff's trying to get on my map, he needs to incorporate a little bit more detail, more stories, a little bit more of the fluff, because that's how I, you know, that's my communication style, because that's how I, you know, that's my communication style. So we have learned over the last 18 years, or however long, how to do that so differently. Because, I will say, at the beginning we did not know how to communicate, we had no idea. He was always offending me, you know and he's like what did.
Trisha Jamison:I even say I'm like I don't know. Maybe it's your tone, I don't you know but I just felt like he was talking at me, not with me, and so I just didn't feel like that. We were kind of a team. Now I think we've both learned so much. I have taken a step back. I don't get offended If there's something that comes out harsh. I'll ask questions. How did you mean that? Is that you know? So it's such a different experience now and that's what I get to share with my clients is there is so much that you don't know until you get into the ring and you figure it out together. And it's just so. It's so powerful.
Kat Larson:Well, you have this impatient and in red and patient in white, and then you have this, like this, really over confrontational and a non confrontational person.
Trisha Jamison:So what I?
Kat Larson:have to do is they have look at that and say, all right, we're going to create a space and not again. It's not a three hour conversation, a three-hour conversation. It has to be a here's an issue. And then the listening that has to happen for the red and what are they hearing he might want to get to us? I know how to solve this problem. Just do this Right.
Jeff Jamison:It's not about the nail.
Trisha Jamison:Oh my, we bring that up so much. We just need to put that on our our show notes, cause it's so true though I love that so much. I love that. So, kathy, what would you say to a red who is struggling with control but wants to?
Kat Larson:connect, listen and ask questions and care about what that person is going through. So the emotional intelligence piece of it. There's so much information about how to increase empathy. A red has to go. This is important because right, and why is it important for a red to connect? Right? What do they get out of it? What do you guys think? Well, jeff, answer. What do reds get out of connection with somebody?
Jeff Jamison:Agreement.
Kat Larson:Jeff answer. What do reds get out of connection with somebody? Agreement, yes, yes. So you know, I mean, unless their ego's in the way, and that's the paradox of the red this go, drive or do, that's behind sometimes insecurities right, they can be really insecure behind it. So they're going to show you that they are right. Many times they are. Why? Because Reds do their homework. It's a really powerful thing.
Kat Larson:So the step would be why don't you want to listen? What is this person saying that I don't want to hear? So they have to let down their. I'm going to show you. I'm right, we know, we get it, you're right. But they have to build that empathy muscle, that emotional intelligence. What are they? Their empathy, social skills, it's motivation, it's self-regulation and self-awareness. So start there. Red, you go through, you say you're great at motivation. Reds do motivation. Easy, right, code lines up with emotional intelligence. Red does motivation, yellows do social skills, Blues do empathy and Whites do self-regulation. Nobody owns self-awareness. Nice, so I like that, yeah. So where are you on those scales? And then practice those empathy tools. Listening, I love that.
Trisha Jamison:Yeah, excellent, okay so now, but for the whites out there, how can they find their voice without fearing conflict? They got to risk.
Kat Larson:They have to risk losing, fe losing conflict is not a reason to not step in and risk so learning the tools of of. There's a great book called crucial conversations starting from the heart knowing what your story is, knowing, knowing what it is that scares you about conflict. And then they have to name it. What is it that scares you about conflict? Right, what? What do you think is to happen? They don't like that emotional messiness, right. But if you, if you look at it and say I'm going to walk through it this way, a white can really like own it and not be intimidated by it when they know. But they have to step in, they can't, they can't back up just because it feels uncomfortable. That's really hard for a white. They have to name it, they have to say it, they have to actually move their lips and say what's going on. I like that.
Trisha Jamison:That's good, very, very good. What are some real world tools of scripts that help couples learn to speak each other's color language?
Kat Larson:Well, I think that there's okay. So, first of all, you mean, like, what can I pick up off the shelf? Yes, so there is a new book and I just know that if people are looking for something that's called Color Code for Couples, we're going to talk about that, can't wait. Yeah, in here what happens? It takes every combination blue, blue, yellow, blue, red, white, blue, white, all of the combinations and it gives you the personality traits involved. And then there's studies in here and it gives you kind of a framework, because I will tell you, the first thing you need to do is take your color code. The second thing you need to do is to be able to go. What's in my way? What limitation? Where am I living in unhealthy motive? Where am I being not clean? You know, I've got. I've got to get to clean motive, I've got to get to positive motive. That's the first step, right, right?
Kat Larson:Once we do that, then we can get to. You know, okay, I now know that when you shut up, I think I've won. All right, so I don't ask any more questions, all right, so I'm going to continue to say ask questions, and when you be quiet, then you need to say then you need to step in. So there's a lot of tools out there. There's so many, there's so many things to use. Learn about emotional intelligence. There's books that tell you how to grow your empathy, how to grow your self-regulation. You know there's all of these. And, by the way, like I told you, I worked on dependable, for I've been working on dependable for 30 years. This is not a slam dunk, as you guys know. How long have you guys been married? 37 and a half years. Are we still working on stuff?
Jeff Jamison:Oh, yeah, every day.
Trisha Jamison:Yep, no, we're perfect. Come on honey.
Jeff Jamison:No, you're perfect Okay.
Trisha Jamison:Yes, you are perfect, so I got a good laugh out of a cat there.
Kat Larson:That's something that I think is important to look at is like you're going to have to jump in and commit to this and what it takes Right, and then get humble, because humility is the biggest tool to be able to go oh yeah, I'm going to have this. One of the tenets of power code is 100% responsibility. Right, I do that a lot with my husband, who's blue, blue, blue, and I'm yellow, yellow, yellow, which is, even if I think I'm not even in the realm of causing the problem that we're having.
Trisha Jamison:I of causing the problem that we're having I go. What did I do to get us here? Yes, everyone has a role. Yep, I love that, so so good. Okay, so now I want you to tell us about your book. Bring it back up. What's the title and what can your listeners expect from it?
Kat Larson:It is a very simple. It's kind of I don't want to say plug and play, but it's like, for instance, I don't want to say plug and play, but it's like, for instance, it takes you through couples' issues. You've got, if I'm a white-white couple, what are the biggest problems? Just avoid it. It gives you some case studies and then it has Taylor's insights to it. They're very logical. They typically struggle with emotional topics. They prefer silence to the drama of emotional dialogue. You'll learn all about your colors in there. But then it gives you figuring things out in a way that at the end of it it's practical application. And then it gives you a worksheet. What have I learned about myself? What have I learned about my partner? Can we work on together to improve our relationship? Simple tools that move you to. What am I willing? The big question always what am I willing to do differently to change the relationship?
Jeff Jamison:So each person in the couple the husband and the wife need a book of their own. No, no so they can do that together.
Kat Larson:Yeah, they can do that together yeah.
Jeff Jamison:Okay.
Kat Larson:And it's a really beautiful thing. And, like I said, the first thing to do is get on and take a profile or do what you know. Work with you, Trisha, you know whatever people are doing, get that information in front of you. Don't think you know because you don't.
Trisha Jamison:Well, and Kathy has a special gift we already said that on part one has a special gift we already said that on part one, but she has a 25% off on the color code personality test and this goes for those listening today as well. Take a look at the link in the show notes so you'll have access to all that. We're super excited and one of the things that I wanted to share is we have a program and I've been using this, like I've mentioned, the color code personality test for so many years. It's changed a little bit, but it's still. It's gotten better, it's just, it's fantastic and it just makes so much sense and one of the places I've seen the that could make the biggest impact besides my life, my marriage and my family is in my coaching practice and I now run an eight month program called Healing Hearts, and I've talked about this many times on previous episodes, but it's designed for couples who often feel like they're at the end of their rope. They're convinced their marriage is too far gone or too broken to fix and many come in angry, withdrawn or feeling hopeless. But over time we help them rebuild emotional safety, reconnect and communicate in healthier ways, and we focus on emotional maturity, nervous system regulation and, yes, core motive understanding the why we do what we do, and that is such a breakthrough that changes literally everything.
Trisha Jamison:So we also have some really fun activities that we do as couples. It's for the couples they do and they love them and it just breaks up the monotony and it just adds so many rich layers to learning. Laughter and connection adds so many rich layers to learning, laughter and connection. But we're also in the process of launching a brand new program called White Coats and Worn Hearts and this is going to be created specifically for physician couples navigating burnout, chronic stress and relational disconnect. And we're so thrilled to share and this is one of the reasons why we have Kat on today is because we are going to collaborate with her and Dr Hartman to integrate the color code more intentionally into both our programs and our curriculum. So the deeper we explore motive, the more we see it unlock compassion, clarity and lasting change in relationships. So how do you see the principles of the color code aligning with programs like Healing Hearts and the White Coats and Worn Hearts, where couples are trying to reconnect and rewrite their story? Kat, yeah.
Kat Larson:I mean the only way I can say it is. I think it's the critical first step. I mean the only way I can say it is. I think it's the critical first step Understanding somebody's core motive so I can get out of what I think I know into the truth of who the other person is and what they need and what they want. Once I can understand that about myself and then I can understand and own my truth, then I can understand that about them.
Kat Larson:And so I don't know how you do it without a tool like that, when you're working in such a high you know, I mean, and it just brings, it brings acceptance right, like that's what we want to get to. I accept you, jeff, you're a red blue, you're complicated, I get it now. You're not just you know, you're not just trying to. You know, frustrate me all the time. You're not trying to prove me wrong, you're not trying to. This is really what you need. And here's what I need to do to connect with him better. I own it. Making people own it is really the first step. And how do you do that without a tool like the color code?
Trisha Jamison:Well, and that's exactly right. A tool like the color code, well, and that's exactly right, because that's why I've used it for so long and why it has worked so well. And I just and people are like, oh my gosh, I understand myself so much better and I've only had part of it. I haven't even had so much of that you're sharing today. So I'm excited to get the book really dive into it today. So I'm excited to get the book really dive into it, work with you, you know, dr Jeff, in such a deeper way. So people can really feel this connection, feel the trust, feel everything that they need to as their core motive, as their personality type, and move forward in their relationship individually.
Kat Larson:I just love it Well and Trish. I think I believe the most important relationship is the first one that you have to take care of is the one with yourself, definitely. So you can trust your decisions and who you are, absolutely.
Trisha Jamison:And.
Kat Larson:I should have said that first. Definitely, that definitely is it.
Kat Larson:And I can't do that, I know myself. And so then then you go to how am I in discomfort? How am I with responsibility? How am I with uncertainty? Right, all those things make us powerful in a relationship, and many times you just talked about it a blue white relationship, or a red white relationship. We're uncertain. Where's that white coming from If they're unhealthy and living in I'm shutting down Right, or a blue who you know? I mean, I could go on and on and on, but we were talking about the white. But so, yeah, you are, I'm so excited for the possibilities that are coming.
Trisha Jamison:Yes, and so we just want everyone to just stay tuned, because we've got a whole lot of greatness coming up and we just don't want you to miss a single thing. But before we wrap up, kathy, what's one piece of encouragement you give to someone who just discovered their color and isn't sure what to?
Kat Larson:do with it. Get some information about who you are. First of all, embrace that color, find places that you love about it and then find places that you have maybe a hard time with it. And why? Why are you not valuing yourself and accepting yourself? That's the first thing. But start off with what's so great about you. You are so much better off than you're giving yourself permission to be. You're not seeing all of it. You know we live in a world where we are bombarded daily with messages of you're not enough, you're not seeing all of it. You know we live in a world where we are bombarded daily with messages of you're not enough, you're not this, that enough. Blah, blah, blah, comparing all of the things that we know right, and I just think that to be able to build your capacity to see yourself is to be able to start with look at what your gifts are and love those gifts start with, look at what your gifts are and love those gifts.
Trisha Jamison:Yeah, excellent. Okay, so do you have one practical step that someone can take this week to better understand the people in their life? Get curious. Ooh, I love that word. That's one of my favorite words. Pause and get curious.
Kat Larson:Yeah, ask questions, tell me more. Somebody says something. Tell me more, tell me more, and people just start opening up.
Jeff Jamison:I like to say get curious before furious.
Kat Larson:Yes, do you have that tattoo, jeff? I know you have that tattoo.
Trisha Jamison:We actually have a client that sent us a bunch of stickers with that little saying on there, and so, christine Kennedy, thank you so much. I'm telling you thank you for that. So, yes, he has it on his water bottle, but so fun. Dr Jeff, do you have anything to say about our program coming up?
Jeff Jamison:I'm excited for it because I think that this is going to be a way for people to help themselves, first, learn about themselves and then connect with their partners in ways they never could before. And I like to say partner for that, because it really needs to be a partnership and not a dictatorship, and that's one of the things that there's always a power struggle within marriages, and to get to the point where you're equal is a great place to be, and I can only hope that we can all work towards those goals.
Trisha Jamison:Fantastic, Kat. Do you have any last minute information or anything you'd like to share?
Kat Larson:Well, I give myself as a resource. You have 25% off of the color code profile and all those notes will be in the show. There's a coupon code that you'll get. Get in and take it. Start there. I'm at Kathy at TaylorHartmancom. Ask questions. If you need anything in terms of that, you know and we can go from there.
Jeff Jamison:Great. Excellent Thank you so much. This has been awesome. I have loved this and in fact, I'm quiet a lot during this time because I'm self-reflecting as we think about it. So, I'm like oh, I need to incorporate this better in my life.
Kat Larson:I do that every day, Jeff, for sure. Some days I go wait, I teach this stuff. You better start doing it. You know, there's things, Isn't that so?
Trisha Jamison:true, it's like knock knock. Are you listening? Oh my gosh, so true. And for those of you listening today, if you're feeling like your relationship was stuck, maybe even beyond repair, I want you to know there's still hope. Our Healing Cards program is for couples who are ready to do the deep work. It's a safe structure, space to heal what's been broken and rediscover why you chose each other in the first place. This isn't about quick fixes. It's about lasting change and rebuilding love that can weather life's hardest storms. So please reach out to me at trishajamesandcoaching at gmailcom, and don't forget to send your questions. Like Rachel Kathy, thank you so much for being with us today. We appreciate your warmth. You guys are fantastic.
Jeff Jamison:And you're fun.
Trisha Jamison:So much fun and we just had so much fun with you and you're such a gift. I just appreciate it so much. And to all our listeners go, take the color code test. You can find the link. Like Kathy just said, it will be in our show notes and you'll have 25% off. And definitely check out the very best of living, podcast Kathy.
Trisha Jamison:Larson and Dr Hartman offer so much goodness there. We didn't even talk about your podcast. Do they have a podcast? I think it's once a month. Yeah, several, and it's so, so good. Thank you again, until next time. Thanks for joining us on the Q&A Files. Stay curious, stay compassionate and keep growing. Have a great day, bye-bye. Thanks for tuning in to the Q&A Files, delighted to share today's gems of wisdom with you. Your questions light up our show, fueling the engaging dialogues that make our community extra special. Keep sending your questions to trishajamisoncoaching@ gmailcom. Your curiosity is our compass. Please hit subscribe, spread the word and let's grow the circle of insight and community together. I'm Trisha Jamison, signing off. Stay curious, keep thriving and keep smiling, and I'll catch you on the next episode.
