The Q&A Files
The Q&A Files drops A Wellness Explosion
💥 BOOM! Attention Wellness Warriors. The game changer you have been waiting for is finally here. Say hello to “The Q&A Files,” where wellness meets revolution and your questions lead to new discoveries. Spearheaded by Trisha Jamison, your host, a Board Certified Functional Nutritionist. Cohost Dr. Jeff Jamison, a Board Certified Family Physician, and featured guest, Tony Overbay, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. This podcast blends three diverse perspectives to tackle your questions on health, nutrition, medicine, mental wellness, and relationships. Dive into a world of expert insights and actionable advice, all sparked by your curiosity. Tune in, ignite your wellness journey, and join the Wellness Warrior community.
The Q&A Files
72. When Life Bites: Finding Grit and Grace in Crisis
Have you ever done what you believed was right, only to watch it spiral into an unexpected nightmare? This deeply personal episode peels back the layers of what happens when good intentions meet harsh reality.
We share the moment our family celebration—our daughter's wedding—collided with crisis as an unexpected visitor was injured by our family dog. What followed was a year-long journey through medical treatment, legal proceedings, financial settlements, and profound emotional losses that tested our family's resilience in ways we never anticipated.
The parallels between our story and listener Derek's experience with his youth mentorship program reveal a universal truth: sometimes the price of integrity is steep. When Derek reported suspected abuse of a teen in his care, he faced backlash, isolation, and questioning whether his intervention was worth the cost. His question—how to keep doing right when it brings pain—resonates with anyone who's paid a personal price for following their moral compass.
Grit isn't just perseverance; it's the courage to stand when everything within you wants to collapse. Grace complements this strength by maintaining compassion when you feel wronged. Together, they form the foundation for navigating life's most unfair moments without losing your essential humanity.
Whether you're currently weathering a storm of your own or supporting someone who is, this episode offers a compassionate perspective on finding meaning in difficult circumstances. We explore why character matters most when tested and how to preserve your heart for helping others even after painful experiences.
If today's conversation resonated with you, we'd love to hear your story. Have you ever paid a personal price for doing what you believed was right? Email us at trishajamisoncoaching@gmail.com—we read every message. And please subscribe, share, and leave a review to help others find this healing community.
Hello and welcome to the Q&A Files, the ultimate health and wellness playground. I'm your host, Trisha Jamison, a board-certified functional nutritionist and lifestyle practitioner, ready to lead you through a world of health discoveries. Here we dive into a tapestry of disease prevention, to nutrition, exercise, mental health and building strong relationships, all spiced with diverse perspectives. It's not just a podcast, it's a celebration of health, packed with insights and a twist of fun. Welcome aboard the Q&A Files, where your questions ignite our vibrant discussions and lead to a brighter you. Welcome back to the Q&A Files. I'm your host, trisha Jamison, and today I'm joined by someone who's not only my favorite co-host but also my husband, dr Jeff Jamison.
Jeff Jamison:Hi everybody, You're my favorite too.
Trisha Jamison:Well, of course you better say that, right? Yes, we're a great team.
Trisha Jamison:Well, I hope All right. So today's topic is one we've actually lived. It's raw, it's emotional and it's something that shook our whole family in a way we never actually saw coming. We're going to talk today about grit and grace and how you hold both when life drops a bomb in the middle of a very beautiful moment. So grit and grace are words that kind of get tossed around in motivational speeches and on Pinterest quotes, two words that sound poetic, even beautiful, until you have to actually live them. And then, when life really hits, they become real survival tools. So grit is the strength to stand when you'd rather collapse, the inner fire to keep showing up when everything in you wants to quit. It's courage and motion born not from comfort but from being tested and pushed beyond what you thought you could endure. And grace Well, grace is what softens us in the midst of that strength. It's the decision to lead with compassion when your heart is breaking. Grace listens, forgives and holds space. It's not weakness, it's wisdom, it's perspective, love and forgiveness, especially when they're the hardest to give.
Trisha Jamison:In this episode we're going to share a story, one that brought both grit and grace to the surface, like I said, in ways we did not see coming. But before we share our own story, I want to read a message from one of our listeners, derek. His story has stayed with me, not just because of what happened, but it's so similar to our own story and it's also because of who he chose to be. In the middle of it all, derek wrote I was raised to always help people. It's who I am. My mom used to say if someone needs help, you don't ask why. You ask how. That has stayed with me my whole life. But recently I tried to help someone in crisis and it absolutely blew up in my face.
Trisha Jamison:I run a neighborhood mentorship program for at-risk youth. Every Saturday we open our doors to kids who need a safe place. Some are living with grandparents, some come from shelters, others are just trying to stay out of trouble. We offer food, tutoring, games and, most of all, consistency. Well, a few months ago, one of our teens opened up to me. He told me his mom's boyfriend had been treating him poorly and been threatening him, throwing things, yelling, even locking him in his room. I asked him if he felt safe. He looked at me and said no, not really. I did what I believed was right. I reported it. I didn't do it out of judgment. I did it because I was trying to protect him.
Trisha Jamison:A week later, the boy was gone and his mom showed up to the program screaming. She said I ruined her life, that I'd made everything worse. She pulled her son out and got other parents riled up. Suddenly, I was being questioned by people who had once trusted me. The work I'd poured my life into felt fragile.
Trisha Jamison:And here's the part I didn't expect the guilt, the anger, the second guessing. I thought I was doing the right thing all along, but it left me in a mess. People avoided me, whispers started. I felt isolated. Now I'm left trying to figure out how to keep doing this work with the same heart.
Trisha Jamison:And that's my question how do you keep doing the right thing when it seems like it only brings you pain? So, derek, thank you. That is just a, not a question, that's a cry from the heart, when so many people can relate to. You did what your values told you to do. You listened to a hurting child, you spoke up, you stood between someone vulnerable and someone potentially hurtful. That's grit. And the fact that you're still asking how to show up with compassion, that you haven't let bitterness harden you. That's grace, because grace doesn't mean you don't feel the weight. It doesn't mean you don't cry or question or want to walk away. Grace just means we keep loving even when it hurts. We stay kind even when the world is unkind in return. So, derek, your story mirrors what happened in our own home, a moment when we tried to help someone in crisis and found ourselves swept into a storm. We didn't see coming to a storm.
Jeff Jamison:We didn't see coming. You know, it just reminds me of a quote from Wicked, the Broadway production of Wicked and now the movie. No good deed goes unpunished.
Trisha Jamison:Yes, and so, jeff, I wanted to ask you, when you think of those two words, grit and grace, what?
Jeff Jamison:comes to mind for you, Well, grit. To me brings the word resilience to the forefront, and to me that means that even when you're under pressure, even when you're supposed to do or you are expected to do something that is wrong, you do it right anyway and you perform despite the odds. And grace, of course, is to do it with humility and love for others.
Trisha Jamison:Yeah, I think that that is beautiful. I'd like to take you back. This was almost a year ago and we had just celebrated our fourth daughter, capri's wedding, and our new son-in-law, colin. We were hosting the reception at her home in their backyard, and we had transformed the whole backyard into twinkling lights and candles. We had great music playing, backyard into twinkling lights and candles. We had great music playing, we had nearly 200 guests there and the food was flowing. Laughter filled the air and it was one of those very magical nights that you never want to forget.
Trisha Jamison:But I started to notice something. I hadn't seen Brayden, our youngest son, for quite some time. No popping over to say hi to his sister, and if you know Brayden, you know he's always in the mix. He's that kind of kid. So I went into the house to look for him. That's when I found him sitting with a girl I didn't know. Her name was Kaylee, a classmate from her school, his school. Her eyes were swollen from crying and she still had remnants of a bloody nose. She came unannounced and we had no idea she was coming. She had just shown up alone after what later we learned was an altercation with her father. That's where the bloody nose came from.
Trisha Jamison:Brayden, quietly, had filled me in on all the details. I encouraged them both to come outside and I said just come out and eat. Just step out, get some fresh air. Things are winding down a little bit and no one cares what you're wearing. She was hesitant, said she wasn't dressed for the occasion, but I tried to reassure her. I tried to reassure her because I just really wanted Brayden to be part of his sister's big night and he had pretty much missed the whole evening. So a few minutes later, when I hadn't seen them come outside to get some food, I went back inside, and that's when everything unraveled. So when I stepped into the house I asked Brayden, are you guys coming outside? And he pointed to the bathroom where Kaylee stood in front of the mirror holding a rag over her face. What's wrong, I asked. Brayden looked up and said well, jake, just bit Kaylee. I froze. What Wait, are you serious? But he was.
Jeff Jamison:Jake is our dog.
Trisha Jamison:Yes, so Jake was our 13-year-old lab mix. He was sweet, he was a loyal, loving part of our family, but he was older, more sensitive and he had never met Kaylee before. So from what we were told later, she had hugged him from behind. He gave her a warning growl but she didn't heed that warning and he bit her right on the lip. And our vet later told us that Jake's reaction was actually very normal a response for any animal, especially when someone tries to hug them from behind. She shared would you like to be hugged from a stranger? And you know, I think most of us probably wouldn't, right.
Jeff Jamison:At least not without some. You know understanding of what's going on. You know you don't just walk up to a stranger and give him a hug.
Trisha Jamison:They're going to like what. That's kind of weird, exactly so I brought her over to the couch and the moment she moved the rag my heart dropped. There was a significant gap in her lip. It was horrible, it was pretty bloody, and I remember thinking, oh my gosh, you've got to be kidding me. We've got 200 guests outside and now we have a girl who we didn't even know badly injured sitting in our house in the middle of one of the biggest nights of our family's life. And then, as she sat there, kaylee showed me scars and bite marks from other dogs that she had encountered, clearly from other incidences she had encountered, clearly from other incidences. My heart was hurt and it was clear this girl had been through more than she knew how to process and she didn't seem to understand basic boundaries with animals and, we found later, with people too. I then called for Jeff to come inside. So, jeff, I'm going to hand it over to you and you get to share this great part of the story when I ask you to please come inside.
Jeff Jamison:This was something you know. What happened at that point is Trisha had sent Braden, our son, out to the party and he came and interrupted me talking with guests and at first I said you know, just a second, let me finish my conversation, because Braden sometimes can interrupt people for the littlest things and he says, no, dad, you've got to come now. And I said, oh, okay. So I got up and I went and they said what happened and he said that Kaylee had been bit by our dog Jake, and I quickened my step to get upstairs and to the place where they were and when I saw her I was pretty sad by the gash that she had experienced.
Jeff Jamison:It was a through and through left side of her lower lip laceration that left a flap of tissue where it should have been connected to the rest of her face and it was just sort of flapping in the wind there and I'm like, oh, that's not good. And so I said to her we need to get a hold of your parents, this is something that needs to be taken care of and we've got to get you some medical care right away. And she says don't call my dad, Don't call my dad and I said okay, so we called her mother.
Trisha Jamison:Now they're divorced.
Jeff Jamison:Yeah, they're divorced. And the mother was in Utah visiting somebody, I'm not sure who I found out later who but I didn't know at that time. And the mother then called the ex-husband, her father, who then drove to our house and was there when I explained what needed to be done, well, I said that she needs to be sent to the emergency room, have this evaluated and to get proper laceration repair.
Trisha Jamison:So I'm just going to slip in this real quick, because I had said that Jeff actually does a fabulous job stitching people up. He's done thousands of procedures and honestly wanted to be a surgeon one day at some point in his career, and so his work is meticulous. So full confession here I offered his services even before he even asked him, but I knew he'd be so willing to help, and that's who he is.
Jeff Jamison:Well, and so I did get that information and I asked the father if he would like me to do that and he said he would. And so we went to my office, we got her cleaned up and made sure that she was comfortable, made sure that she had numbing medicine in the area so that she wouldn't have any pain during the repair. And then I took very close care to make sure that the edge of the lip, which is called the vermilion border, was put together properly so that wasn't like a when it healed that the edge of the lip didn't have a jagged edge so where it should have been smooth. So I put that together first and then I repaired both inside of the mouth and outside on her face to make sure that there would be the least amount of scarring. The entirety of the laceration was approximately 1.5 centimeters and so you know less than an inch, and it was, like I said, through and through the lip so you could part the laceration and see her teeth.
Trisha Jamison:It was pretty nasty.
Jeff Jamison:Yeah, there were no other real. There was a little scuff mark on her right side of her face which was of no particular concern, but other than that she had no other injury. So after the laceration was repaired, the father was very grateful and really appreciated the good job I had done, and then I set up time for the child of this girl to come back and have the sutures removed in a few days. A few days later they did come. Both the father and the mother were there and we had the stitches removed and everything looked really good. She was healing up well, she had no numbness, everything was working just fine, and so I thought, okay, well, that's great, that's the end of that. Well then, a couple days later, her mother calls me and says well, you know, I think this is something. We're going to need some more money for her, just in case she needs to have this repair revised or have plastic surgery, do things or a laser treatment or things like that. You know, this is a young girl and this is her face.
Trisha Jamison:So we need to have some more money. What's that? And counseling.
Jeff Jamison:Yes, and counseling. That was the other part and I said, well, let's just see how this turns out before you start. You know asking me for more money, let's see, I'll be happy to help with things. I did not dispute that. This was our dog, this was our property. She was there unannounced, but we did welcome her into our house.
Trisha Jamison:So it was our responsibility. After she was we found out she was there, Right?
Jeff Jamison:Yeah, and so she was there with permission and it was our dog that created the problem. So we were liable and we know that, and I knew that. So, after the mother had made these requests for more money, I thought the best thing to do was then to contact my insurance company and the homeowner's insurance company and tell them about the problem, what I had done and so forth, and so I had made meticulous notes about what had happened and also good notes about the repair, and they requested all of that information, and then it went to the insurance company. Well, after that we found out that the person that the mother was visiting when the incident happened was an attorney friend of hers, and so that attorney friend had said that it would be best to sue us or at least request as much money as they could get from our homeowners insurance. Well, our homeowners insurance had adequate coverage and I also have an umbrella policy to make sure we are well covered. So I wasn't worried about that. But the insurance company said, okay, well, we have all the information about what happened, and if you feel like there's need for more money, then we need to have justification for that.
Jeff Jamison:So the insurance company requested that of the attorney who is requesting full limits of the policy. Okay, and I'm not going to give the full limits of the policy here, I don't think that's appropriate. But it was enough that it was, you know, was meant to cover incidences like this. So full coverage is what they wanted, or full limits is what they wanted of the policy. So I, of course, said I don't think that's appropriate. I took care of her problem. She then went to a plastic surgeon to have it looked at. A plastic surgeon says yeah, I'm not doing anything at all to this and at some point in the future maybe after she's 18 or 20, she may want to have a little laser treatment to the scar to see if it'll help decrease some of the scar. But this consulting plastic surgeon wouldn't change anything that I had done, which made me feel good, of course.
Trisha Jamison:But he said he did an exceptional job.
Jeff Jamison:So that made me feel good.
Jeff Jamison:So at that point, we were feeling pretty good that this wasn't going to go anywhere.
Jeff Jamison:And then we got word that they were going to serve me, or serve Trisha and I, with a lawsuit to get the full limits of the policy, and they were requested also that we divulge what the full limits of the policy were, which I said no way.
Jeff Jamison:I don't think that's appropriate. I don't think they need to know that information, and if they think they've got a claim for it, then they need to take us to court, which was just fine with the insurance company, because they thought it was bogus as well. So, after months of not receiving a service for a lawsuit, we got notified that, in fact, it was just in the last month that we had received word that they had settled without going to court, which I appreciate, but they got way more money than I would ever expected for something like this. The good news is, though, the money goes to a trust that is not available to anyone, including the injured party, and especially not the parents ever. It goes into a trust for the girl that she gets after she's 18 years old, so I was happier with that, and hopefully she uses it wisely.
Trisha Jamison:Yes, and she's. At that time, I think she was about 16.
Jeff Jamison:She was 15 at the time of the injury she's 16 now.
Trisha Jamison:Yeah. So after nearly a year of this hanging over our heads, we are so grateful that it's finally behind us. Yeah, that number still stings. But what hurt even more was watching Braden suffer. Our legal advice advised him that he could no longer speak to Kaylee, and it was devastating for him. He kept asking why, what did we do? What did I do wrong? And it was nothing that anybody did wrong, it was just it just made things so much more complicated.
Trisha Jamison:And so, but the hardest parts of all this weren't, like we just said, just the financial part. It was watching our son grieve, grieve, the loss of a friend. He didn't choose to end, and it was saying goodbye to Jake, our beloved dog, who we had to put down not because we believed he was dangerous, but because we felt it was the most responsible thing to do. And we grieved that loss deeply. But maybe the most painful part was feeling completely misunderstood and misjudged when all we had tried to do was help. So in the end it was a substantial cost, you know, of money, and it cost a friendship, heartache and the life of a beloved furry companion. It was pretty, pretty devastating, as we kind of went from a very beautiful event to one that was pretty soured quickly with this whole other story that you know you. Just, it's life, you don't ever see these things coming. So do you have any other thoughts, honey, about that?
Jeff Jamison:Oh, I just think that, even if the risk is that something bad is going to happen to you, I still think the right thing to do and the most responsible thing to do is the right thing. Whatever that is, let the consequences follow. I believe that doing the right thing is still doing the right thing.
Trisha Jamison:Absolutely, and that's what I'd like to share with Derek, and so I appreciate you saying that, and I just want to thank Derek for his question, and I want to thank him for his amazing heart and the amazing work that he's doing, and we want you to know we see you, we feel the weight of what you've walked through, because we've carried it too. You did what you thought was right, you showed up for someone in crisis and, even when the outcome didn't reflect your intention, your courage still mattered. So our advice don't let pain rewrite your purpose. Learn from it, yes, but don't let it take away the best parts of you, because doing the right thing, just like Dr Jamison said, with an open heart, is never wasted, even when it hurts.
Trisha Jamison:And I also want to pause and recognize who Jeff chose to be in the middle of our own crisis. Yes, he's a physician, but it wasn't his medical training that guided him that night. It was his character, his compassion, his calm. Under pressure, he didn't hesitate to help Kaylee. He didn't run from the chaos, he walked right into it, offering what he had skills for and steadiness and his big heart. And he did the right thing, just like you, derek, not just because he's a doctor, but because he's the kind of a man who shows up when it matters most, and that, to me, is the essence of both grit and grace.
Trisha Jamison:And for all of you listening, we'll leave you with one more question. Have you ever paid a personal price for doing the right thing? Just kind of what Dr Jamison was talking about. What helped you stay true to who you are? We'd love to hear your story. You can email us at Trisha Jamison coaching at gmailcom. We read every message and truly value what you share.
Trisha Jamison:And if you or someone you love is in a relationship that feels like it's on the edge, if you've forgotten why you ever said I do in the first place, I want to personally invite you to learn more about my eight-month program called Healing Hearts. It's for couples who feel like the damage might be too deep but still have the courage to hope, who want to move from surviving to truly healing through emotional connection, communication and trust. Because sometimes the greatest stories of redemption and resilience begin with the simple act of saying let's try one more time. And if today's episode spoke to you, please share it with someone who might need it. Leave us a review and please don't forget to subscribe so you never miss a moment of honest conversation and real life healing. So until next time, stay strong, stay soft and remember even when life bites, grace can still heal what grit helps you survive. Goodbye everybody, we'll see you next time.
Trisha Jamison:Goodbye everybody, thank you Thank you Thanks for tuning in to the Q&A Files, delighted to share today's gems of wisdom with you. Your questions light up our show, fueling the engaging dialogues that make our community extra special. Keep sending your questions to Jamison at gmailcom. Your curiosity is our compass. Please hit, subscribe, spread the word and let's grow the circle of insight and community together. I'm Trisha Jamison, signing off. Stay curious, keep thriving and keep smiling, and I'll catch you on the next episode.
