The Q&A Files
The Q&A Files drops A Wellness Explosion
💥 BOOM! Attention Wellness Warriors. The game changer you have been waiting for is finally here. Say hello to “The Q&A Files,” where wellness meets revolution and your questions lead to new discoveries. Spearheaded by Trisha Jamison, your host, a Board Certified Functional Nutritionist. Cohost Dr. Jeff Jamison, a Board Certified Family Physician, and featured guest, Tony Overbay, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. This podcast blends three diverse perspectives to tackle your questions on health, nutrition, medicine, mental wellness, and relationships. Dive into a world of expert insights and actionable advice, all sparked by your curiosity. Tune in, ignite your wellness journey, and join the Wellness Warrior community.
The Q&A Files
75. When You Feel Stuck in Relationship Groundhog Day, These Tiny Shifts Create Big Change
Feeling stuck in the same relationship arguments? You're not alone. This episode delves into why couples repeatedly fall into the same emotional patterns and—more importantly—how to break free from them.
We open with the story of Emily and Jake, whose dinner table disconnect represents a common scenario many couples face. When Jake walks in absorbed in his phone while Emily hopes for connection over a thoughtfully prepared meal, it triggers an all-too-familiar spiral. The real question underneath isn't about dinner or phones—it's about being seen.
The science behind these patterns reveals why good intentions aren't enough. Each time we repeat a conflict pattern, those neural pathways strengthen, making it increasingly difficult to respond differently when emotions run high. This explains why even couples who've "read all the books" still fall into destructive cycles.
The good news? Meaningful change doesn't require grand gestures or relationship overhauls. As we explore, it happens through small, intentional shifts that interrupt established patterns. "Small hinges swing big doors," as Tricia describes, and these tiny changes consistently applied transform relationship dynamics over time.
We share five powerful tools to break destructive patterns: focusing on the pattern rather than the problem, creating a pause phrase, practicing tiny repairs in the moment, reflecting weekly together, and replacing judgment with curiosity. Each strategy helps couples move from their reactive states back to what we call the "green zone"—where you're regulated enough for real connection.
Dr. Jeff offers special insight for couples rebuilding after betrayal: "It's not your responsibility to trust them; it's their responsibility to be trustworthy." This crucial distinction removes pressure from the hurt partner to "just get over it" and places responsibility for rebuilding trust where it belongs.
Ready to try something different? Listen for practical reflection questions and an invitation to make one small shift this week. Your relationship isn't beyond repair—it just needs the right kind of support and a commitment to small, meaningful changes.
Questions: Check in with us at trishajamisoncoaching@gmail.com
Hello and welcome to the Q&A Files, the ultimate health and wellness playground. I'm your host, tricia Jamieson, a board-certified functional nutritionist and lifestyle practitioner, ready to lead you through a world of health discoveries. Here we dive into a tapestry of disease prevention, to nutrition, exercise, mental health and building strong relationships, all spiced with diverse perspectives. It's not just a podcast, it's a celebration of health, packed with insights and a twist of fun. Welcome aboard the Q&A Files, where your questions ignite our vibrant discussions and lead to a brighter you. So this is a true client story. Names changed, of course, but the feeling, the pattern it's one we hear frequently.
Speaker 1:It was a Tuesday evening. Emily had made chicken piccata, jake's favorite. She stopped at the store after work, followed the recipes step by step, even lit a candle at the table, not because it was a birthday or an anniversary. It was just because she wanted to connect with him, to offer something warm and loving at the end of a very long day. Jake walked in Eyes glued to his phone, news updates, a few work texts, something mildly funny on Instagram that made him smile. Emily sat watching all of his facial expressions. He barely glanced up. Smells good. He mumbled and sat down, still scrolling. Emily continued to watch him. A flicker of disappointment crossed her face, but she said nothing until he looked up and casually asked Well, do we have any parmesan? And that was it. The dam broke. It wasn't about the cheese and it wasn't even about the dinner. It was all about the aching question underneath. Do you even see me? Jake was confused. To him nothing was wrong. He didn't yell. He came home, he said it smelled good, he had a long day and he was just decompressing, like he always did. But that was exactly the problem. It was always the same, same avoidance, same accidental dismissal, same aftermath. And Emily, she wasn't mad about the phone, she was heartbroken by the invisibility.
Speaker 1:So today, this episode is for couples like them and maybe even like you, the ones who love each other but keep falling into the same emotional ruts, who say things like we're fine on paper, but something really feels off. We want more, but we just don't know how to get there. So here's our theme A new day and a new us. Because, the truth is, change doesn't always require a massive overhaul. Sometimes it begins with a new us, because, the truth is, change doesn't always require a massive overhaul. Sometimes it begins with a tiny shift, a pause, a softened tone, a phone put down, a glance that says I see you and you matter to me. As we often say, when we regulate, we get to relate, and that's exactly where we're headed today. So welcome Wellness Wires to another episode of the Q&A Files. I'm Tricia Jamieson, your host, and I'm here with my favorite co-host, dr Jeff Jamieson, my husband, a board-certified family physician.
Speaker 2:Hi everybody.
Speaker 1:So glad to have you here with me and we have a packed full episode today, but each week we unpack real questions from real listeners about health, marriage, medicine, wellness, parenting and navigating this beautiful messy thing we call life. So, again, welcome everyone. But the first thing I want to talk about are our celebrations, because even in the heart there's something to honor and to celebrate. So, sweetheart, what is something you're celebrating today?
Speaker 2:Oh, you know, I am celebrating the fact that we are happy together, that we don't have a bunch of drama in our lives right now you know family drama, things like that and that we are just in love, and I am just so grateful for you, tricia. I'm grateful you're my wife. I'm grateful you're my love and my forever companion.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, I don't think I could top that one, but I'm going to just piggyback because things are going very well. We are actually apart right now, but we're really making huge efforts to make sure that we're FaceTiming. We're connecting during lunch, we're connecting in the evenings and after dinner, before we go to bed, we say prayers together. We're really trying hard to stay connected. So for the next few months it's going to be a little bit of a challenge, but we're starting strong and we've got some good things in place. So thank you for that. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2:You're welcome. So what's your celebration?
Speaker 1:That was my celebration. I was piggybacking on yours.
Speaker 2:Oh, I get it Okay.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:I thought there was something different. Okay.
Speaker 1:Well, we just moved. We moved from Spokane to Utah, so it's been a whirlwind of all craziness that you can imagine. We left a week ago. Dr Jameson and our son took 26 foot U-Hauls. Jeff pulled a boat behind him, so it was like he was pulling a semi truck. It was pretty big. Yeah, it was impressive.
Speaker 1:They both did a phenomenal job and I traveled in our car and I had our little well, not our little black lab, our 90-pound black lab Big black lab who thinks he's a cat and wanted to be in my lap the whole time, but thank goodness I visited the vets prior to that and got him some anti-anxiety medicine. That was extraordinarily helpful on our 15-hour drive, so I wanted to take some to my, you know, I think that would have helped me as well, but probably not. It was not a good plan. But anyway, we made it here safe and it's been great. We've got many of our children here. We've got a child. Our second oldest is in central washington and someday, with her four kids and wonderful husband, we hope to have them join us, but right now that's where they are and we're grateful that we still get to FaceTime them too. It's a great time to be here, and probably September, end of September.
Speaker 2:And so, if all things go as planned, then I'll be going back and forth to Utah to see everybody and then making the final trip to Utah on the 1st of October. Thereabouts.
Speaker 1:Yep. So we've got a few weeks ahead of us that we're just going to be just diving in Making the best of it.
Speaker 1:Yep, Doing our jobs, and you know, I've got family here that I get to enjoy, and Jeff is going to enjoy the family that he has in Spokane. All right, Thank you. So I want to ask you a question have you ever found yourself now be careful in a fight or a pattern where you're thinking we've had this exact same argument before. We could write a script. What do you do in that moment as a husband and as a physician?
Speaker 2:Oh yes, First I thought this was going to be a rhetorical question, but you're actually asking me, Okay.
Speaker 2:I'm actually asking you a question, okay yes, so you know, I think that one of the major ones was basically just like you just described, where I've had a long day and I kind of flop myself down and I'm kind of a bit of a perfectionist on the way I like some things and so when children leave things outside or if there are problems with a toy just in front of the stairs or things like that, they tend to bother me and I have made more than one child feel terrible for just being a child and I, you know, would get angry with them.
Speaker 2:And most of it was just me not knowing how to regulate my own emotions of being fatigued, having been stressed over the day with multiple problems, both patient, employee and otherwise, and just wanting to come home and relax and finding that that was not going to be the case. And it took me a long time, way too long, to figure out that I needed to change who I was when I came home so that I wasn't this crabby, tired doctor. Instead I was a happy-to-be-home father and husband and that role change, once I started to make that, made all the difference for me and I'm pretty sure it helped the family a lot too.
Speaker 1:Well, I love that, and it's funny because I just read something on Facebook about allowing a three-year-old toddler to be a three-year-old toddler and stop focusing on them being quiet, putting toys away. We want them to be creative, we want them to use their voice, we want them to do all these things, but yet we're trying so hard to conform them into the little people that we're hoping them to be, when that's not what they're meant to be. So I actually appreciated that very much and I think sometimes you know, I definitely remember feeling stressed when you came home, because if things weren't put together and kids were kind of a little bit in disarray, it was a little stressful. And so I think, now that we've learned so much, and what we know now and what we wish that we had known then really could have been a game changer, but we didn't. We did the best that we could for the information that we knew and had access to, but definitely there's so much more information out there that we can you know and it's interesting too, because I work with people.
Speaker 2:In fact, I saw a woman yesterday who appears to have stepped out on his wife and I saw the woman that was betrayed yesterday and she was really sad. It's fairly new from disclosure and, worst of all, this was one of her best friends. That was a woman that her husband was having a relationship with.
Speaker 2:And so she was really, really hurt and just so sad and tears flowed. And she's working and they are at a place where it sounds like they're going to really try and put it back together and the other woman's out of their life now and and it's it's, you know, it's making, they're making progress. But I asked if she was ready to do some counseling or to get some other help and she said that she is, but her husband is not any and her husband doesn't think that there's anything for him to gain. And I just ached for this man because I can relate to a feeling like, well, what are they going to do for me? They're just going to drag me through my childhood. There's going to be all these other excuses not to do it, but the fact is is that we just don't know. What we don't know.
Speaker 2:And often us guys are so wrapped up in our own stuff that we don't allow ourselves to go beyond it and to find out that there are people who actually know more than we do and that there are people who can help us through these kinds of situations, and that is something that has helped us immeasurably to be able to have professional help when we needed it, and I am just so grateful for that, and I'm also grateful at this time to be able to be in a place where we also can help others through their difficult times.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you for sharing that, and that's just. That's heartbreaking, but there's nothing that can't be repaired. That's the thing that I think. If you feel like there's hope, there's always hope and there's help available. What do you think helps in those situations when your nervous system is being hijacked? Your CEO has gone out of the window? One of the things that I think about it's interrupting those patterns, and the more that you've got these neural pathways that are oftentimes cemented in your brain, and the more that you continue down that road, they become more and more cemented. But anytime you can disrupt or interrupt that pattern that changes things anything. So it could be as simple as just deep breathing, just taking a breath, even just taking a walk around the block or saying I'm not leaving this conversation, but I just need a few minutes to calm down. Sometimes it's even we need to readdress this tomorrow because we're too exhausted to talk about it tonight, and it's allowing that time to just take a look and recognize this isn't the time to have this conversation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we call that the built-in pause, and if you can build in a pause when you're feeling that, it really helps to be able to settle yourself and also think through the situation, do I really care that much that the toy was left at the bottom of the stairs? Does it really bother me that much if the toilet seat got left up? Is it something that I need to jump up and down and make a big issue over? These are things that it gives you time to evaluate. What are your motives? What are you really trying to do?
Speaker 1:What are you really trying to convey to the other person so that they don't feel like they're less than Right? We always talk about do you want to be right or do you want to have a relationship? So I think that those are some real important pieces to focus on, just like Dr Jeff just shared. And that's also when we're allowing the prefrontal cortex to come back online. That is when real connection is possible and that's what can follow.
Speaker 2:It also really helps, I think, to have, before the issue, started to have an idea of how you want to handle things, so that you have a predetermined way that you're going to set in a pause, that you've talked before that. If you know going to set in a pause, that you've talked before that, if you know that there's, you know when. You know something's going to happen along before that you've said if something's really bothering me, I'm going to talk to you this way and I'm going to tell you. I need a minute to think this through. Now, one of the things that I find is that, generally speaking, women ruminate more than men. So when women ruminate and this is a generalization it's not an all-the-time thing, but when women ruminate, it usually gets worse. Every time they think about a thing, mm-hmm, sure, you tell your partner, your spouse, your whoever, that you've got something that is bothering you and it's about X topic, and I want to talk about it When's a good time, so that that person has a chance to think about.
Speaker 2:Okay, what was I thinking during this situation? Where was I? Did I mean something to hurt someone else's feelings, or how can I make sure that that was communicated well and then be humble. It's really important to be humble and if you're not humble about where you are, if you're not saying you know I could have made a mistake, I might have said something that hurt someone else, and if I did, I need to be able to sit in that discomfort and go.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, I really am sorry for that. I can see how I hurt you and move forward instead of I didn't mean it that way, you're too sensitive. I can't believe you've taken it that way. You're so overly controlling of me, you know. And to fight back. Fighting back is the opposite of being humble and understanding. And if you actually spend a little time listening to what your partner has to say or what your wife or your husband wants to tell you and then think about it before making some response, you're not sitting there thinking of the response. While you're listening, you can get so much closer together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's a book that we just started in our book club and it's I'm just going to pull this up really super fast because it's pertinent to what you're talking about, but it's all about listening and it's called You're Not Listening what You're Missing and why it Matters, by Kate Murphy. Several of our members have already started the book. I haven't completely started the book yet, but there's so many comments already on Facebook talking about how they thought they were good listeners and then they realized they'd been terrible listeners. So if you feel like that, you can improve your listening. That may be a good book to incorporate into-. Now, what did you say? Right, okay, that was excellent, thank you.
Speaker 1:I love that, and it ties into something that we teach in our Healing Hearts program. We call it the green zone, and I borrowed that concept from Leah Davidson, who I've had on our podcast previously. But it's the space where you're regulated, you feel grounded, you feel safe, you're open to connection and conversation and conversation. But most conflict happens outside of the green zone, when one person is shut down and the other is fired up. That's where misfires happen. That's where couples say things they don't mean. So here's a challenge. I want you to think about picking one micro shift. So here's a couple that I want you to think about. So maybe it's a pause before replying, maybe it's softening your voice, maybe it's putting your phone away when you walk in the door. We've talked about this before. But small hinges swing big doors. I love that paradigm. Tiny shifts, time, tiny shifts. Over time they change the dance.
Speaker 1:So this brings us to our listener question, and this question came in anonymously and it says we keep falling into the same fights. How do we actually create change? We've read the books, we've tried the strategies, but in the moment we always default to the same patterns. Is it even possible to break out of it? So yes, it is absolutely possible, and it starts with noticing the pattern Without shame. When you name it, you give it a shape. When you give it a shape, you can then move it and, just like the couple that Jeff was just talking about in his office, that the wife is ready to get help, the husband is not.
Speaker 1:That's the challenge, because a lot of times when you come into a situation and you've got two couples, and there's always one that is resistant and there's always the other that is so ready to move forward. So I never have clients that are both ready, ever. They both show up exactly like that One is ready, one is resistant. But before long, once they come in and they start to feel comfortable and recognize the things that they because a lot of times it's always the other person, it's always the well. If they would only do this different, if they would always, you know, if they'd only shift here or recognize my needs or read my mind, then we'd get along. And that is not at all what we talk about. We start to have them look in the mirror, what we talk about. We start to have them look in the mirror, them recognize. Oh wow, I have a huge role in this. This is my part that I can play differently.
Speaker 2:I think it's so common when people are having relationship troubles that the first thing they do is blame the other person. Because I'm okay, I'm clearly fine, everything I'm doing is okay. Because I'm okay, I'm clearly fine, everything I'm doing is okay. But my partner or my spouse is the one who, if she would quit doing this, then I'd be better. Or if you know this would happen, I would you know. I look at things like. There's so many silly things that happen Toothbrushes that are left in the wrong place, toilet seats not left down or left up, car seats in the wrong place uh, toilet seats not left down or left up. Car seats in the wrong place.
Speaker 2:Toilet toilet paper in the wrong direction yep, I mean all of those things yeah I didn't even know there was a right direction in a wrong direction so, yep, well, apparently there is, and that's what I think anyway.
Speaker 2:So these are things that, the little things that cause big problems. But then there are, of course, then, when big problems come, you don't have the tools to be able to handle it, and every relationship is going to have bumps and every relationship is going to have mountains to climb. So that is what we're trying to help you get prepared for today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly. And so even for couples who feel like they're stuck in emotional groundhog day, it doesn't happen through big dramatic gestures. It happens through small, intentional steps.
Speaker 2:I love that groundhog day. Yeah, that is hilarious.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to give you a couple tools that will be helpful, that we teach in our eight month program, Healing Hearts program, that hopefully you can start today and Jeff can. Wherever you want to fill in, you're welcome to do so.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So number one is start with the pattern, not the problem. So, instead of jumping into what you're fighting about, pause and ask what's happening between us. Try saying I think we're doing that thing again where I get louder and you just shut down. Just naming the dance gives you both a chance to choose a new one, and so I think that that's really important to make sure that you're focusing on the pattern and not the problem, because that's where accusations and blaming starts.
Speaker 2:And this is where the pause is really important. You got to be able to step back and recognize it, and if you don't recognize it, you'll just continue to get chewed up by the whole process of the argument.
Speaker 1:Yes, excellent. So that goes into. Yes, create a pause phrase. So come up with a short phrase you both agree on ahead of time, something you can say mid-conflict that doesn't feel like abandoning each other. Like I love you. I want to keep talking, but I just need five minutes to regulate. Or can we hit pause and come back in the morning when we both we've had some good sleep?
Speaker 2:And this is something that you know. One person, when they're really fired up, sleep. And this is something that one person, when they're really fired up, if they hear that they're not going to want to do it, you're not going to want to go. Oh, you're getting fired up. Yeah, sure, I'll wait. When there's steam coming out your ears, it's really hard to do that. So you have to make that decision ahead of time, that this is the plan. So when it happens, that's not going to escalate the problem by asking those things, so you have to talk about it prior to a problem.
Speaker 1:And that's the key All of these things you talk about ahead of time, because you cannot talk about it when you're just in a dysregulated state. It just won't happen and that listening that you think that state it just won't happen and that listening that you think that you may be doing won't work. Number three practice tiny, timely repairs. So not every repair needs to be big. Sometimes a micro repair done quickly shifts the whole emotional tone. So, for example, try, that came out sharp. Let me try that again. Or I'm starting to shut down. Can you give me just a second and I'll come right back. I want to hear you. I just need to calm down first.
Speaker 1:Now that doesn't say that you tell your partner to calm down. Whenever you tell someone that they need to calm down or they need to chill out, I promise that never goes well and I'm sure that you've already experienced that before. But if you're telling yourself that I need a few minutes, I need to just calm down myself, that's way different than you telling your partner that that's what they need to do. So these are like emotional first aid kits. And number four is reflect together once a week, even just for 10 minutes. In Healing Hearts we have couples do a short weekly debrief. What went well between us this week, where did we get stuck? What's one thing we want to try next time? So doing this regularly builds emotional momentum and reduces the fear of falling into the same hole again. So that is that shift that is getting out of those neural pathways, that's moving them and so you're not getting them more and more cemented in.
Speaker 2:That and you know, when you dig yourself into a hole, sometimes the first thing you do is you reach for a shovel instead of a ladder. Okay, and that is something that when you continue to do the same thing, expecting a different result, you're picking up a shovel instead of a ladder. So you know, I think it's really important to get new tools. Do something different, get up and move, talk in a different way. You know, give gratitude to the, even if you're upset. Give gratitude that helps you get out of the fight or flight mode. You know these are important tools that if you just do a little bit, it helps so much.
Speaker 1:Well and to, and I really appreciate that. So, to piggyback on that, we talk about expanding your green zone. Your green zone we talked about just a little bit earlier is the part of your brain where you feel safe, you feel emotionally regulated, and gratitude is huge for that. Just like Jeff said, taking that pause, getting up and moving any of those things just get you out of that dysregulated state and into a space that you can start to think clearly. So thank you for sharing that. Number five use curiosity as a pattern breaker. So when things start to escalate, try replacing judgment with curiosity Instead of you never care what I think. Try. Can I ask what happens for you when I bring this up? So curiosity helps the conversation shift from proving to understanding. That's the foundation of emotional safety. So do you have any thoughts about that one?
Speaker 2:No, I just agree. Okay, and you know. Except, I am thinking about this dysregulation stuff and how to regulate, and this is something that I think everybody needs to spend a little more time working on. Everybody needs to spend a little more time working on and, if you feel the desire, go back and listen to episode number 61, which is called Befriending your Nervous System A Conversation with Trauma Expert Leah Davidson. If you go back and listen to that, there's some really great tools in there as well. So just a thought.
Speaker 1:Excellent, and since I just brought her up, so I appreciate you checking that out I want to circle back to Jake and Emily. So after that night they had a different kind of conversation, not in the heat of the moment, but the next day, just like we were talking about. Jake listened, really listened. He didn't defend himself, he didn't explain away his distraction, he just let Emily's pain land and then he started putting his phone in a drawer. When he got home Not perfectly but intentionally he sat at the table and looked her in the eye, said thank you, reached for her hand and Emily she started speaking up earlier before her frustration bubbled over. Sometimes that's really hard. She shared her longings instead of her accusations and her blame. Her nervous system relaxed, the energy shifted, the tenderness came back. It didn't take a grand romantic gesture, just small changes, tiny shifts, a new day and a slowly new us. So an invitation that I'd like to share this week.
Speaker 1:Here's some reflection questions that I want you to think about. What's one emotional loop or pattern we keep repeating? Number two what's one thing I can shift in me this week, whether it's a tone, presence or timing. Something that I really focus on is the temperature, the environment. What does it look like inside the room? Is there tension, is there distraction, stuff going on? Well, that's not a time to have a conversation, so I want you to think about the temperature of the room. And number three how can we name the pattern together without blame? So, small doesn't mean insignificant, small means doable, and that's where real changes begin. So, dr Jamison, do you have any additional thoughts?
Speaker 2:Yes, a lot of this has to circle back to trust. And if you are feeling unsafe in your relationship, if you feel like you can't speak to the other person because you're going to get your head chopped off or things are not going to go well for you, those are the kind of times that you want to make sure that you express the feelings of not feeling that you're safe, and one of the hardest things for a person to hear is that I don't feel safe with you. But before you say those words, understand what that means. Understand what your own personal safety looks like. So if you're wanting to make sure that another person helps you feel safe, help that person understand what that means to you, because it's a nebulous term to say I don't feel safe.
Speaker 1:And sometimes that could be thrown out at a time that you feel pain and you're trying to hurt someone, and so we want to use that in a moment and at a time that it's real and it's meaningful, rather than I'm going to hurt you with this comment. I'm going to hurt you with this comment. So I really appreciate what you're saying there, because boundaries create safety, boundaries create trust and those pieces need to come together at just the right moment and there's times that sometimes you need a third party to be part of that conversation so all parties feel safe and they can share their thoughts, they can share their feelings and what's going on in their relationship without feeling like they're going to be a target and things are not going to go well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let me, for a second circle, back to the woman in my office that had a recent betrayal. One of the things she told me which just broke my heart was that her husband keeps saying I've apologized, I'm not doing this anymore, she's out of our life. When are you going to get over this? When are you going to trust me? And she said, she told me so. I just need to get over it, I just need to learn to trust him again. So, tricia, guess what? Tell me what I told her.
Speaker 1:Please tell me.
Speaker 2:Yep, I told her that it is not her responsibility to trust him, it's his responsibility to be trustworthy. And then, little by little, trust may be restored. But even so, it may be a very long time and it may not be to the same level that you were trusted in the past, and you have to be okay with that.
Speaker 1:So this is huge and this is totally different. We need to spend more time on a different episode with this because it's such a big topic, but I get that so often. I've apologized, I'm doing better. Why can't they get over whatever it is that has caused pain and has caused the mistrust? And the thing that I really focus on it's not their job to pressure or to push forgiveness or for them to have their spouse trust them. It takes patience, it takes time, it could be years and if you've done something that has created that emotional turmoil in your relationship, this is a time that you get to be in that discomfort. They get to be part of that experience and just wait and be present and be there and hold their hand and let them cry and know that you know what this is, what created this, this experience.
Speaker 1:Situation Yep what created this, this experience, yeah, yeah, and and this is, if you care enough about your partner and you want to make this change, and this takes time to heal. It is not a one and done thing. It takes time and it's the steps from the other spouse that shows and consistency over and over, and the love and the feeling cherished, that's what helps heal. So, yeah, I really appreciate that very much and I get that all the time, all the time in my practice. Well, I've done all these things and why are they not just getting over it? And I'm sure it's got to be frustrating. I'm sure they're like you know, what else can I do? Well, you get to be patient. That's what you get to do. And, anyway, I really appreciate you bringing that up and I think that there's so much to that whole piece that we can talk about in another episode. That will be really, really good.
Speaker 2:Well, this has been a great conversation. I'm glad we had it today. I appreciate the question that came up today.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love the questions that we continue to get and I just also want to share that we do have an eight-month guided journey for couples. It's called our Healing Hearts Marriage Program, and if you feel like things have gone too far but you still want to try inside, we go deeper than surface strategies. We help you rebuild emotional safety, regulate together, repair conflict and rediscover what brought you together in the first place. It's not easy work, however, but it's powerful work, and the transformation we see in couples is nothing short of sacred. So you can learn more by reaching out to me at trishajamesoncoaching at gmailcom, and we'd be honored to walk with you, because your relationship isn't beyond repair, it just needs the right kind of support. If today's episode resonated with you, please share it with someone, leave us a review and please send us your questions. We are loving your questions at trishajamisoncoaching at gmailcom, and you never know who needs to hear this today. Thank you so much for being here, for doing the work and for believing that your relationship is worth it, and we'll see you next time.
Speaker 1:Goodbye everybody. Bye everyone. Thanks for listening. Thanks for tuning in to the Q&A Files, delighted to share today's gems of wisdom with you. Your questions light up our show, fueling the engaging dialogues that make our community extra special. Keep sending your questions to triciajamesoncoaching at gmailcom. Your curiosity is our compass. Please hit subscribe, spread the word and let's grow the circle of insight and community together. I'm Trisha Jameson, signing off. Stay curious, keep thriving and keep smiling, and I'll catch you on the next episode.
