The Q&A Files
The Q&A Files drops A Wellness Explosion
💥 BOOM! Attention Wellness Warriors. The game changer you have been waiting for is finally here. Say hello to “The Q&A Files,” where wellness meets revolution and your questions lead to new discoveries. Spearheaded by Trisha Jamison, your host, a Board Certified Functional Nutritionist. Cohost Dr. Jeff Jamison, a Board Certified Family Physician, and featured guest, Tony Overbay, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. This podcast blends three diverse perspectives to tackle your questions on health, nutrition, medicine, mental wellness, and relationships. Dive into a world of expert insights and actionable advice, all sparked by your curiosity. Tune in, ignite your wellness journey, and join the Wellness Warrior community.
The Q&A Files
77. What If Your Transformation Is Already Within You? Part 2 with Misty Springer
Let's take a moment and reflect on some of the questions we explored today. If you are listening and something is stirring within you, consider journaling through these ideas:
1. What is something I say I want, but keep avoiding, delaying or abandoning?
2. What emotion comes up when I think about following through with it?
3. What belief might be hiding underneath that resistance?
What would if fee like to approach myself with compassion instead of criticism?
Intrigued? Want to know more? email us at trishajamisoncoaching@gmail.com. We would love to hear you! And who knows, your question might be featured in our next podcast!
Hello and welcome to the Q&A Files, the ultimate health and wellness playground. I'm your host, tricia Jamieson, a board-certified functional nutritionist and lifestyle practitioner, ready to lead you through a world of health discoveries. Here we dive into a tapestry of disease prevention, to nutrition, exercise, mental health and building strong relationships, all spiced with diverse perspectives. It's not just a podcast, it's a celebration of health, packed with insights and a twist of fun. Welcome aboard the Q&A Files, where your questions ignite our vibrant discussions and lead to a brighter you. Welcome back, wellness warriors. And again, another warm hello to any new listeners joining us today on the Q&A Files. Now you've landed in the middle of something very powerful.
Speaker 1:In part one of my conversation with Misty Springer, we explored why we so often know what to do but still don't do it. We talked about self-sabotage, inner resistance and the quiet stories that shape our habits and hold us back. If you haven't caught that first episode yet, I encourage you to go back and listen. But today we're continuing the conversation and going even deeper with Misty. So we're diving into the body's role in belief, healing the power of breath, work and how to recognize when you're out of alignment with your purpose and what to do when push mode turns into burnout. But first, misty, before we jump back in, I have to congratulate you on your new grandbaby. How are you doing in this sweet season?
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm thrilled I get to see my new grandbaby for the very first time next week. So it's my son and daughter-in-law who had their first baby and they had her mom come out and they asked to have a little bit of time. They live in DC, which is really far away when you're in spokane, washington, but right. But I've been asking trish, I've been picking trish's brain on all the ways to stay in touch with far away grandkids, but she's now you're. You're in a different season with having in town grandkids, which I'm I know, yes, you follow the grandkids.
Speaker 1:You'll be surprised when all your kids start having, you know, your grandbabies. They just are everything. They just light up your world. It's been amazing.
Speaker 2:I can't wait to hold her.
Speaker 1:Yes, I know, and I miss you once in Washington, and you just will. You will find time. You will do all the things you do to be that grandmother, because it literally is the best gig on the whole entire planet. So what is her name? Her name is Riley. Riley, that's right. Oh well, congratulations. And congratulations to your son and new daughter-in-law as well Not new daughter-in-law, but new baby. So I love seeing you step into this next role with the same presence and wisdom you bring to most everything you do. I'd like to dive into some of these deeper questions Now. You use breathwork in your practice. What's one simple breathwork tool our listeners could try this week, especially when they feel that resistance or overwhelm kicking in?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a really beautiful and powerful question, and we spoke briefly about this on the last episode but, I, do believe that our breath is one of the greatest underutilized tools that we have.
Speaker 2:It's free, it's easy, you can do it in the moment, nobody even has to know that you're doing it, and it can completely change your perspective. It can change the way that you feel. It is a really powerful tool. So I'm really grateful that you brought this question to your listeners. So one of the very first things in recognizing when to use breathwork is recognizing the feelings that you're having, and awareness is really powerful, and oftentimes we aren't aware of the feelings that we're having, particularly the negative ones, because there's a lot of shame associated with that and judgment. I shouldn't be feeling this way. Why? Like oh, I should be, I should be better than this. This is, I thought I was over this, right. There's a lot of feelings of judgment around the negative feelings that we're experiencing, and so when we can just take that judgment out and look with that compassionate curiosity that we talked about last time as well, then we're able to just notice that all parts are welcome here, all my emotions are welcome here and they're just here giving me a message pay attention. That's all the emotion is we talked about. Pain is an opportunity to pay attention inside now P-A-I-N, and that pain can be emotional pain. It can be that feeling of frustration or overwhelm, or even annoyance at our spouse. Right, there are those moments where, human, we are going to be having those feelings. And so the very first step is recognizing that those feelings are there and noticing them without judgment and with compassionate curiosity. And so when you notice that you have like let's take the example of annoyance with our husband, right, there's that feeling of annoyance. It never happens, yeah, never With me either. The only reason I can talk about this is because it's a well-used practice, exactly. So it is recognizing, oh, that the comment that my husband made or the way that he did something triggered a feeling in me I feel annoyed. And so recognizing that, first and foremost, is really powerful, because we can only change what we can see. So that's the first step recognizing, oh, there's the annoyance. And once we feel that negative emotion, particularly if we judge it or have shame around it I shouldn't be feeling this way that's when our prefrontal cortex, our first brain, kind of shuts down and our survival brain kicks in and that survival brain is very limited in its options for what it can see. It can only see fight, flight or freeze. Those are the only options, and sometimes fawn, really, only about three or four options that we have available to us when we can use our breath to slow everything down, send the message of safety to our body everything is well, all is okay possibilities that we didn't have access to suddenly open up.
Speaker 2:So when you can use your breath, first of all noticing the irritation or the annoyance and then not judging it, and then just breathing into it, just allowing it to be there, and you can do that Really, the one breath that I find I use the most often is called a halo active breath or a belly breath, and really the only thing that you need to remember on this one is to make your exhale longer than your inhale, because when you exhale longer than your inhale, it sends the message to your body all as well. It decreases the stress in your body, it regulates your nervous system. So deregulating or not deregulating, down-regulating your nervous system happens when you make your exhale longer than your inhale. So one breath that you can use when you feel that annoyance is to just breathe in through your nose all the way down into your belly and you can feel your belly expand and then exhale slowly, and you can do that through your nose or out through your mouth, whatever you feel most comfortable with. There's pros and cons to both, but for this type of situation, where you're just sending that message to your body of safety, it's just about making that exhale longer than the inhale.
Speaker 2:So you can inhale for three and then exhale for five or six, and you can do that. I recommend doing it at least three times. If you only have room or space for one, that's going to be great too, but then you can take a look. Just notice what also might be available. How can I see this differently? After you've allowed yourself to breathe and calm down, then you can ask the question how can I see this differently?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. So one of the things that I learned when I was focusing on breath work is that if you're trying to wake up, you want to breathe in more. You know your counts are longer and your exhale is shorter, so that goes right along with just relaxing and just trying to get that back to that calm place again. So I love that and that's just such a gentle reminder. But it's such a powerful practice and what I love, just like you said, it's free and it's so accessible and you don't need an app or a yoga mat. You just get to breathe and have this moment of presence. So thank you for sharing that. I think that's so beautiful. How does someone know if they're out of alignment with their purpose?
Speaker 2:That's a great question. I like to talk about the first voice and the second voice. Often in the work that I do with my clients and what I mean by that is our first voice is that feeling of alignment, it's that feeling of truth, it's that feeling of purpose, it is that feeling of you. Just know, I would imagine, tricia, for you it is part of the reason that you started down this journey of owning your own business. It's not easy. There's been for me, I can speak for myself. It has been a long and often rocky journey, lots of obstacles, rocky journey, lots of obstacles, and the only thing that has kept me here is dropping into that first voice, that feeling of just like there's a truth and a knowing that I can't deny. And that's where we can tune in, if you will, to that frequency of my purpose. This is what I'm here to do Now.
Speaker 2:What happens is that we often start taking action towards something that we want, whether that is creating a business or taking better care of our health, and then the second voice jumps in. And that second voice is all the noise, it's the doubt, the fear, the insecurity, it's the questioning, it's the mind coming in, trying to protect us when our body and heart already know. It's like our body and heart are like yeah, go. And our brain comes in and says whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Let me just tell you all the reasons you shouldn't. And it's because it's new. It's different. Anytime we're stepping into anything that feels like expansion, our brain is going to put up warning signals because it's unfamiliar. We're stepping into new territory.
Speaker 1:Right, and I always notice it is energy. When someone is out of alignment, they're either grinding in overdrive or totally disconnected and the flow is completely gone. So everything from work to parenting feels so much like this huge battle going on.
Speaker 2:Yes, I actually have an experience that I think illustrates this so well. I run retreats and at the retreats we do a lot of experiential exercises, basically teaching a concept that our mind can understand and then bringing it into our body and heart to really experience it. And I'm often, when I teach this concept of the first voice and second voice and how to know when you're out of alignment, I will set up. At this one retreat, I set up an obstacle course and there were just chairs from the room through scattered throughout the room that we were in, and I had about 30 women that were circling that obstacle course. So there was 30 women in a circle, chairs in the middle, and then I asked for one brave volunteer. And so one brave volunteer she was awesome. She came over and I said okay, your only goal is to get from this side of the obstacle course to the other side of the obstacle course without bumping into any of the chairs.
Speaker 2:Now, there were two caveats. The first was that she had to be blindfolded. Oh wow, only listen to her trusted guide, who was on the opposite end of the obstacle course, and that trusted guide was just going to use a quiet voice and help guide her, blindfolded, through this obstacle course. Now, the second caveat was that I had asked all 30 of the women that were circling this obstacle course to write down one limiting belief that they often heard You're never going to make it, you can't do this. Who do you think you are? This is never going to work, you've tried it before. They were. I asked them to just repeat over and over their one limiting belief. So they had 30 women repeating this limiting belief while this one brave soul was trying to navigate this obstacle course just listening to this trusted guide on the other side.
Speaker 2:And so, as she started out, she started to listen in. You know, she was really trying to tune into that, that quiet voice on the other side of the obstacle course. And she started out confident and strong, and then she started to get distracted by all the 30 voices that were going on around her, and you could just see her steps going from confident to faltering. She started to just drag a little bit and finally she stopped completely. She put her hands over her ears and, in frustration, she yelled I don't know what to do, I have no idea where to go. She was so frustrated that she was paralyzed, she stopped, and it reminds me so much of how many of us have been in that same situation. Where the noise gets so loud, that noise of the second voice gets so loud we stop. We're paralyzed, we don't know where to go, and so when we can turn the volume up on that first voice and turn the volume down on the second voice, we do get into that purposeful, aligned action, oh wow.
Speaker 1:That's so powerful and the reticular activating system is what she was focusing on or needed to focus on and clear her mind of all, like you just said, the noise out there and focus on her guide. But that takes practice. So I love that. I love that that is such a powerful exercise that you had your group do Awesome. Thank you so much for sharing that. What would you say to the high achieving woman who's constantly in push mode but quietly feels exhausted and so disconnected from herself? So it kind of goes along with what you were just sharing with that exercise. How would you help that woman?
Speaker 2:I think there's a couple of directions to go with that. The first is understanding what she truly wants. What is her true desire? What is it that she feels? The checking off the boxes or the push, the drive, the high achievement? What does that doing for her? What does she hope? What will having that let's say she gets everything that she wants. What will having that do for her? And oftentimes the answer I get is freedom or peace, or then, once I've got everything done, then I'll be able to stop and actually be present. But I have to get everything done first.
Speaker 2:And so getting really clear on her true desire is a really great place to begin, because then we can work backward from there and say is this actually getting you what you want? Is it actually taking you in the direction of what you want, or is this being driven by fear fear of not enough, fear of failure, fear that if I don't do all of these things, I'm not worthy Understanding? That is really powerful and that's a really good place to begin, and then it's deconstructing those fears. What is it that is stopping you from having the presence and the peace that you actually want? What's getting in the way and how can we work through that?
Speaker 1:So I see this all the time in my coaching. And the women who are amazing on paper but they're quietly burning on the inside and so often what they're afraid of is slowing down. And it's because you kind of shared this yesterday with a woman that was writing her book. But a lot of times and you just mentioned this as well it's been tied to her worth, is tied to her performance. And you know, I think, just as women, it's been tied to her worth is tied to her performance. And you know, I think, just as women, we've grown up in a society that continues to tell us that you know that what you do on the outside is what you're worthy of. And I think sometimes it's challenging for us to start to peel back that onion and to really focus on no, that's not what that is tied to. It's tied to our value, it's tied to who we are and the person that we are becoming, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that is that getting to know that first voice, because that truth is where you tap into that worthiness. That is just inherent. It's not attached to anything and it's not attached to an outcome or an earning or a hustle anything and it's not attached to an outcome or an earning or a hustle. It just is. And oftentimes what I find is and for myself, included when I started practicing meditation and stillness it was really challenging at first and there was a lot of noise in my mind about there's so many other things I could be doing and this is a waste of time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is a waste of time, right? Who am I to think that I have 15, 20 minutes to just sit here, right? And what I found was that my body knew more than my brain did. I craved the stillness. It was like my body, it was like a physical craving in my body for stillness, and that's what I often find women will come to me with.
Speaker 2:I just hosted another retreat on stillness and the majority of the women there said the reason they came was because of that one word stillness. That was what brought them to the retreat was that they did not know how to be still, but they intuitively knew they needed it. And that's when we can start to just tune into what our body and heart is knowing, before our brain can actually catch up. But the more I spent time in stillness, the more I was able to drop into that first voice and just marinate for a better word in that truth of there's nothing I need to prove. The more real. And the more I learned and built a relationship with that first voice, the more I could hear that first voice and turn down the volume on the second voice.
Speaker 2:But that time in stillness it's like any relationship. I often find that sometimes women don't want to slow down because they don't necessarily like hanging out with themselves. They would rather hang out with anybody else. That's hilarious, right, and so that also is. It can be a deterrent, and when we can recognize that actually what is here, like my best self, is my best friend and is here for my good and is going to take me in the direction that I want to go, it's a powerful place to hang out.
Speaker 1:That is so good and I love that. That's your best friend, and I think sometimes it's true. There's just so many women that aren't comfortable with themselves, they're not comfortable in their own skin and they don't know what to do when they have to spend time reflecting and taking a look at who they are and maybe who they want to become. So that's so good. So what's a common myth about transformation? You wish more people understood.
Speaker 2:That is such a great question. You have really really powerful questions.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:The thing that I wish everyone knew is that the transformation is already there, that it's not something that we search for, it's not something that we go out and find, it's not something that we have to work really hard for. It is a remembering, it's a awakening to who we truly are, and that it's already inside.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that An awakening to who we already are. An awakening to who we already are. There's just so much power there, and if we could just really help women understand and gravitate to that power and appreciate that they don't have to go seeking in all these other places that they're not going to find. And, like you said earlier last week you focused on that their intuition's already there, the power's already inside them and they just need to find it. I think that's so great.
Speaker 1:And one thing that I hear a lot is if I could just get more organized, then everything would finally fall into place. But healing isn't about doing more, and I think so often just kind of what we're just talking about is I just need to do this one more thing, I just need to figure this last piece out. And I think it's so much more about becoming more honest with ourselves, and sometimes the most powerful shift starts with telling yourself the truth, and that truth is something that so often we've been avoiding and when we can finally just settle in and appreciate that there's something inside of us that's trying to get out and just listen, just be in that calm, be in that still space to be able to hear ourselves yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2:I think you hit on such a beautiful point. That calm, still place is where we can hear and listen and there is such a drive to to do, to go to like if I have to do more, it's not about being more, I just have to do more. And that doing actually distracts us from the truth, from the pearl, from what we're actually seeking, after, the treasure we're trying to find. It's like we're outside going on this hunt for this treasure, feeling exhausted, we're whacking through the jungle and we're hiring guys and we're just trying to like make this happen and we realize, oh my goodness, it was here all along, like right here, I didn't have to go anywhere other than just be still and recognize that there's nothing more I need to do. My worthiness is here when we're born with that worthiness.
Speaker 1:it's not something that we have to acquire, it's already within us. I keep thinking about the question I often ask my clients and that is what's the story you're telling yourself? And is it true? Because I think sometimes that question creates that space, the space to rewrite the script before it spirals out of control and into another cycle.
Speaker 2:So yeah, and I love that question. It's that. What's the story like? Just inherent in stepping back and asking that question is the belief that I can rewrite the story. That if, if this story is something outside of me, if it's something that I can look at and name, then I have the power to look at it differently, to rewrite it.
Speaker 2:But if it's just something that I take as default, I'm not even aware that it's happening. Like we talk about the second voice and the noise. Sometimes the noise becomes so commonplace it's like white noise, we don't even hear it anymore. And that's that when we can stop the script by, first of all, just pausing and looking. Oh wait, there is a reaction that I'm having right now. I'm not going to look with judgment at this annoyance or this frustration or this overwhelm that I'm feeling. I'm just going to look and pause. I'm just going to look and pause, drop into stillness, look with curiosity and then I can ask the question what does the story mean? But it is that separation from me and the story that has to come first.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, and going along with that lasting change isn't about effort, it's about alignment. Now you just kind of shared a little bit about taking us through the process of some of your breath work that you would like to share, that you can talk about in your practice. You know you have your awake, aware, aligned process that you focus on, so I just wanted to check in and see if there were additional. I know you have like a you know a whole treasure chest of all sorts of tools but that you'd like to share with our listeners, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2:So one of the things when we talked about wanting to hang out with ourselves, I had that oftentimes it's difficult to want to hang out with ourself and to get still and to be quiet, and that's because often there is a lot of shame or judgment. We have judgment around what I should be doing or what I should be thinking, and so part of getting to know ourselves is just allowing the feelings to be there, as just feelings that these feelings are. They're here for a reason. They're not here to hurt or to harm me. They're here to be a messenger. It's like an indicator light in your car going on. And so the reason that we distract when we have a feeling of frustration, we'll go to comfort food give me the chocolate, give me the brownies, so that I don't have to feel this anger or this depression or despair or whatever. Or we'll go to scrolling. I just want to numb, I don't want to feel any of these feelings that I'm feeling, so I'm going to scroll through Instagram. And how does it always?
Speaker 1:make us feel Usually way worse.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because then the comparison starts to, or we go to, being super busy. Yeah, because super busy is a way that we distract ourselves too, and so instead of leaning away from, or tuning out or distracting from the feeling, we can lean in and just allow the feeling to be there. And so one of the things that I teach my clients often is to just name the emotion. So it's as they feel it. They can just feel it in their body, and I ask them specifically to name where it lives in their body. And there's a couple of different reasons behind this, but when we can name an emotion, it takes the power away from it. Again, it's separating us from the story.
Speaker 2:It's not just something that's happening to me. There's actually me and then the emotion. We're two separate things. So when they name the emotion, let's say it's frustration. When they name that emotion in their body and I feel that frustration in my belly it feels like just a swirling mass in my belly. Then I ask them to just breathe into it and just acknowledge that feeling. So it's just yeah, I see you frustration, I feel you. You feel like a big swirling mass in my belly. Thank you, thank you for being here. You're just trying to protect me, and what happens is that the frustration actually starts to dissipate.
Speaker 2:It actually starts to lessen its grip or its hold, which is what we're trying to do with the distraction, the food, the Facebook, the busyness in the first place.
Speaker 2:But it's actually working. We actually process the emotion. It can move through our body because we're acknowledging it and it's like any messenger that loves us. That messenger is going to want to come and give us the message that it's meant to bring, and if we don't listen, it's just going to keep knocking and get louder and louder and louder and more insistent until we listen. And that's what happens when we start to stuff our emotions. Over time it will just explode into an argument or will say things that we regret, or will drop into a place of being so overwhelmed we can't function, or it will show up as actual, physical, chronic pain in our body that is present because we have emotion that is not being able to be processed and worked through. So that's a tool that I use often with my clients to help them process emotion and turn down the volume on that emotion, so that then again they can use their thinking brain more effectively and see things more clearly.
Speaker 1:I call that thinking brain their CEO, putting their CEO back online. Yeah, so that is so good. And one of the things that I just wanted to add that's beautiful is sometimes you're at the store and all of a sudden, these emotions come up and it's like are you kidding? I do not have time to deal with this right now. One of the things that I've done for me that I've shared, and it's just amazing how powerful your brain is and how it works, and if you give it an assignment, it's going to follow through. And so if you're at the store and all of a sudden you get triggered by something and you've got these deep emotions that start to come up, if you were to say, okay, I hear you, I see you, I feel you, but I can't take care of you at this very moment. So if you tell yourself I need to address this in 15 minutes or tonight at 6 pm, and you put it on the shelf, I can't even tell you how often it can stay there, but it will be knocking on your door at 5.55 going. Do you remember?
Speaker 1:You need to work through this, and it is just that has helped me so much, because there's been times I'm working through something and all of a sudden I just, you know I'm like about ready to fall apart and it's like I can't take care of this at this moment. I have to. Just I know I'm going to. You know this is really important. I'm not ignoring you. I see and will feel you, but I need to move through this later. But you give it a time. You give it a date. You don't just say you push it under the rug and I, you know, I don't have time to take care of this. You give your mind something to do and it's going to follow through. That has saved me so many times, so I just wanted to share that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. I think that is so powerful and that's what we would do in any relationship that we feel is really important, like if my 16-year-old came to me and was like in full meltdown and I couldn't deal with them in that moment. I would say I love you, and can we talk about this when we're outside of the store? Or can we put this on like I am in the middle of a call right now and, yes, can we talk about this at six o'clock tonight? I think that that is such a beautiful example of just being in a relationship, a loving, compassionate relationship. It's what we would do for anyone that we love. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think that that's so good and that's what I really focus on in my practice as well is just exactly what you walk them through. And I think that sometimes with our clients and even me, I mean, you know we share all the good things, but it's really hard to incorporate them into our own lives, and so when I'm struggling with something, it's like okay, I need to kind of switch the coaching hat and what would I do? What would how would I help my client right now? And it's like okay. So I have to walk myself through some of those same steps and remind myself of those tools and they work for me as well, and not just for my clients and sometimes it's just hard to just, you know, take that moment and go.
Speaker 2:no, I need this too I need to focus on my own needs as well. I work with a lot of coaches and you know I have a lot of colleagues and friends who are coaches and I've noticed it in myself. We can often use the tools that we have as another way of judging ourselves, because it's like I should know better. I should be able to do this, and what would my clients think if I was having this meltdown with my husband right, like there is a real sense of I should have this all figured out and that's not that's for any of us, and it is just such a beautiful reminder that we are human and these emotions are here, they're designed, they're a part of our experience, they're meant to be here and we get to have agency in how we respond and react and we also get to have grace.
Speaker 1:Well, exactly, and in my Healing Hearts program that I have with my clients or my couples, they love to hear my stories, they love to hear how I've screwed up and they always tell me that they're like I. Just it's so refreshing to know that you make mistakes all the time and but you're vulnerable and you're willing to share them, because that's how we grow is when we're able to share and communicate and to feel not that judgment. And I think sometimes as coaches, we feel like we have to be perfect. You know, and I think even doctors or in the medical field, you know, they feel that as well. They feel that high pressure to perform at a intensity to do, you know, just this is where they're at, this is the standard and I think that that's.
Speaker 1:I think that's unfortunate, but so I'm very open with many mistakes that I make and I think at first that was really hard for me. That's not something that I ever wanted to share, but as I've grown up and matured and been able to recognize that it was perfect and some of these stories are funny and I now can just sit and enjoy sharing them and that helps them feel safe and more connected as well. So I think that's really important. Yeah, kind of got off on a little tangent there, but okay. So how do you help someone begin to entangle those deeper, outdated belief systems that they've had forever?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is. That's a really beautiful question and a very powerful process. So I use a lot of visualization and timeline therapy in the work that I do and that's, in essence, taking them back into the space where that belief was formed in the first place. One of the questions that I ask often of my clients is what were you believing to have that experience? Because our beliefs really form everything.
Speaker 2:When we think about whether it's cognitive behavioral therapy or the life coaching model, we talk often about our thoughts create our feelings, our feelings create our actions and our actions create our results. That's a very common, it's a very universal understanding. But where do our thoughts come from? Why are these thoughts here? And often they are well, not often always they are coming from our beliefs. Our beliefs fuel our thoughts. So we have to kind of put the beliefs ahead at the very top. It's like the umbrella the beliefs that we hold about ourselves and the world and the way that we see things, those again what I call patterns of protection. Sometimes those beliefs are the way that we have made sense of the world and stayed safe. It's how we've been able to work through difficult times in our life and oftentimes those beliefs are formed in childhood or they're beliefs that have been passed down from generation to generation, and so a lot of you don't even think about that and that's a real thing.
Speaker 1:So a lot of the work. You don't even think about that.
Speaker 2:And that's a real thing. Oh, it's a real thing, and we do actually do generational work with my clients, because there is generational patterns that one of the questions I'll ask is is this yours or is this someone else's? And when they feel into it, when they get into their, you know deep down, they're ready and they can say you know what? This does not feel like mine. It just feels like it's always been there, and that's really good information to have too. So, but all of our beliefs have been formed at, usually, some point of trauma.
Speaker 2:I don't really like to use that word, because I don't ever want to discount somebody who has gone through a significant trauma. I don't really like to use that word because I don't ever want to discount somebody who has gone through a significant trauma. But we all experience moments in our life where our nervous system can't make sense of what is happening around us, and so it creates a pattern of protection to deal with that, and so that can be something that is significant abuse or neglect, or it could be. I raised my hand in kindergarten and the teacher shut me down, and so I felt like my voice wasn't worth hearing and I was not meant to be heard, you know. So it can be a big T trauma or a little T trauma, but I don't. I want to give space for both without while still giving really careful consideration to those big T traumas that can be very painful and life altering, but those traumas can be.
Speaker 2:when we go back to the source and we're able to look at it through an adult lens, it can be restructured and reframed. Something that has been just so automatic that we didn't even know it was there now becomes a different way of looking at the world and it influences the way that we show up today. It's really it's fascinating to watch the changes that my clients have been working years like years to make and struggles that they've had, these patterns that they keep falling back into, and when we do this really deep belief work, how they can move forward without feeling that willpower like without. They don't feel like they're fighting against themselves anymore. They're just that that belief has been restructured, reframed and they're able to move forward with a new belief system.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and to change their those neural pathways? Definitely. And one of the things that I always share, too, is you can't change the experience, but you can change the emotions and the feelings around that experience, and the whole idea is to help empower your client instead of keeping them in that victim mode mentality.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I love that. Yeah, couldn't agree more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so is there a moment from?
Speaker 2:your own life or a client story that really shows what's possible when someone rewrites a belief and begins to show up differently my favorite topic of all, because all of this stuff can sound really esoteric and kind of like, oh, how do I access that? Until you start hearing the stories and and the way that it shows up in real life and I shared a couple of client examples on the last call, but I'm going to share one from my own personal journey because I feel like it it's has. It has been so impactful for me personally and it has influenced the reason that I started down this journey in my body and I did everything. I remember sitting at a computer at three o'clock in the afternoon and Googling like Google, tell me what to do. I am at my wit's end. I was capable and confident in every other area of my life. I could set a goal and I would follow through and I would do it. I would have a plan and I would accomplish it. But this emotional and binge eating felt like it had a vice grip on me. It felt like nothing. I did worked and, like your beautiful example in the last episode, like Alana, I had the plan. I knew what I wanted. I had the desire, I had the why. I had everything that I knew to do, and none of it worked.
Speaker 2:And so, as I started to recognize that getting more information was getting me nowhere, having a plan was actually detrimental I started to realize I needed to look in a different place. And so that's when I really started studying what happens when I know what to do and I'm not doing it. How do I actually change this behavior that feels like it's so ingrained it feels impossible to change. And so I did. I started studying about beliefs, and I really started diving into the body and the heart and shifting from the inside out. Everything that I had been doing before was the outside in. It was get more information, get the plan, talk to what other people are doing. I have somebody else tell me what to do, but this was about going inside. It was about recognizing what the pain of this craving was actually trying to tell me, and it was.
Speaker 2:There was beliefs that I held about I would give myself. The only time I gave myself permission to have pleasure or a break, that stillness again was eating. It's like okay, it's okay for me to have a cookie and experience what I want. I can have what I want because it's food and I need food. Or it's okay for me to take a break and sit down and eat lunch, but it's not okay for me to take a break in any other area of my life. And so all of this kind of allowed me, and those are just kind of the tips of the iceberg.
Speaker 2:There was lots of layers and things that I worked through, but those were really instrumental in understanding and listening to myself and as I got to know myself and as I started to really let go of those ideas that I had to prove my worthiness and just get to know the worthiness, the truth of who I am, shift that belief internally. Everything that I thought was impossible became a reality and it was not difficult. It wasn't the willpower that I had experienced before, it was lasting. My relationship with food and my body completely transformed, and it is what propelled me into the coaching business, because I wanted to share and give back to others those opportunities to change behaviors that you feel are impossible to change.
Speaker 1:Wow, that was beautiful and I think that we'll find so many people may really resonate with that experience and I just really appreciate you sharing that. Thank you for sharing. You know being really vulnerable and sharing that part of your heart and your experience because it's real. It is real and sometimes it really takes us on a journey, but look where it led you here, yeah, and I'm so grateful for that. So let's take a moment and reflect on some of the questions we explored today. If you're listening and something's stirring inside of you, please consider journaling through these, and I will definitely put these in the show notes as well.
Speaker 1:What's something I say I want, but keep avoiding, delaying or abandoning? Another question what emotion comes up when I think about following through with it? And another question what belief might be hiding underneath that resistance? And the last question what would it feel like to approach myself with compassion instead of criticism? That was probably my favorite. So lasting change doesn't come from pressure. It comes from being present. Misty, before we close, can you tell us a little bit about your podcast, aligned Heart? You've created such a sacred, soul-led place and I'd love for our listeners to know more about it.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Yeah, it has been a soul-led project for sure. Feels like it's just coming straight from my heart, which is why I called it Aligned Heart. Yeah, that's so good.
Speaker 2:It follows how I do everything, which is a combination of mind, body and heart. We talked about the three legs of the stool in our last episode and I believe that for lasting transformation to happen, we need to understand on a body level, on a heart level and a mind level that all three parts need to be activated in order for us to create lasting change and to become something different. So every episode I take a concept and I teach a concept in the 30 minutes on the podcast. And then the second podcast that accompanies the original podcast is a meditation or a visualization. It's incorporating or embodying the learning.
Speaker 2:So we're taking the message that you just learned about conceptually from our mind and dropping it into our body and heart, and I love that every concept that we learn can be embodied and become a part of us and that we get to learn in a whole new way. We get to have that experience with ourselves. So even if you're just dabbling in meditation and just want somebody to guide you through it, you can go and access any of those podcasts, just those 10 minute podcasts for a 10 minute meditation, or you can listen to the podcast beforehand. That's specific to that concept in the visualization and meditation, and meditation. But it's there as a resource and a tool for people who really want to dive more into this understanding of who they are and dropping into that heart space that is so beautiful, and I've listened to one of them.
Speaker 1:It's new. This is a new podcast that she's put out and it's amazing, so I definitely encourage all of our listeners to go and find it, and I'll put all of her information in the show notes, where you can find Misty, and do you have any last minute information that you'd like to share with our listeners today?
Speaker 2:Oh, just that. I well, first of all, before I do that, I just have to say I would reiterate your thoughts on the podcast for you. I would just like to reflect back to you how much I love this podcast and the format of it and the good that you're doing in the world.
Speaker 2:I love. I've listened to several podcasts of yours and I love that you are taking listener questions and I also love that you're looking at it from health, from a physical body standpoint. I listened to Cody Ellison. I loved that episode. I love that you're looking at marriage. I listened to several of those episodes and then I love that you're taking it into this space too, which is like kind of the heart space.
Speaker 2:You're really hitting the full individual and I think you were doing so much good in the world having the different perspectives that you have on the podcast, so I just wanted to make sure that I I spoke to that. Thank you so much. You are welcome and, yes, I have lots of information. You can find me on my my website. I'm sure that can be in the show notes as well, but I do have a retreat coming up in September, September 25th through the 28th. It's a really amazing space. It will be in Montana at a beautiful lake house, gorgeous nature, yoga, meditation, dropping into your heart, getting aligned with your purpose and understanding the next steps and what the next phase is for you, listening to that first voice and getting really clear on that first voice. So if that's something that interests you, you can reach out to me. I'm on Instagram or Facebook.
Speaker 1:Well, and I will share that I probably would have been going Misty had invited me, but we're going to be in Italy at that exact time, so I'm excited to catch the next one that.
Speaker 2:Misty does. I would love to have you there. I think it would be such a beautiful experience.
Speaker 1:I'm already looking forward to it. Yeah, definitely, okay. Well, this has been such an inspiring conversation and I know our listeners are really in for a treat once they listen to this these two podcasts. So I just want to thank Misty so much for taking the time and answering some very fantastic questions that I think really resonated with a lot of our listeners here and I'm just I'm so grateful to have her not only on our podcast but as such a great friend, and I think that we've lived a very similar journey and just with our health journey, she's gone into more mind, body, soul. I've gone into more nutrition and done a lot of nervous system regulation and relationships. So it's been really fun to see the different direction that we both have gone, but we started in the same place and so it's been pretty fantastic to see how we're both helping. Different parts of you know our communities and anyway. So I just think she's a powerhouse. So grateful that she was on today.
Speaker 1:But before we close, I do want to speak to those of you who are listening from a place of quiet heartbreak. Maybe the conversations have stopped and maybe the trust is completely gone. Maybe you feel like your relationship has flatlined and you don't even know where to begin again. If this is you, you are not beyond hope. My Healing Hearts eight-month program is a journey for couples who feel like there's nothing left but still feel that maybe, just maybe, there may be a flicker of something. This is for those ready to stop surviving and start rebuilding something new, rooted in emotional safety, honest repair and deep reconnection. If you want to learn more, please just reach out to me at Trisha Jamison Coaching at gmailcom. Sometimes, the moment you think it's over, it's actually just beginning. So I want to share something I'm also really excited about, and that's Dr Jeff and I are currently developinga new program just for physicians and their spouses. It's called White Coats and Worn Hearts, and it's designed to help medical couples navigate the unique stress, emotional load, burnout and communication breakdown that so often happens in high-demanding careers. So if you're in medicine or married to someone who is, please stay tuned Again.
Speaker 1:Misty, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for your honesty, your tools and your calming presence. You've given us so much to think about and even more to feel into, and to every listener, thank you for showing up. If this conversation stirred something inside of you, please don't just drift away, pause, breathe and reflect, and if you need help, please reach out. We're here. If you also have a question about medicine, health or relationships, please send it to trishajamesoncoaching at gmailcom. We are so excited to hear from you, and don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review and share this episode with someone who needs it. So until next time, breathe deep, trust your pace and keep showing up every day. Thank you so much for being here. Goodbye everybody.
Speaker 1:Thanks for tuning in to the Q&A Files, delighted to share today's gems of wisdom with you. Your questions light up our show, fueling the engaging dialogues that make our community extra special. Keep sending your questions to trishajamesoncoaching at gmailcom. Your curiosity is our compass. Please hit, subscribe, spread the word and let's grow the circle of insight and community together. I'm Trisha Jameson, signing off. Stay curious, keep thriving and keep smiling, and I'll catch you on the next episode.
