Ep 82: Healing Grief After Miscarriage or Birth Trauma with Brenda L Balding

So many women carry the silent pain of miscarriage, abortion, or traumatic birth—but never talk about it. In this powerful keynote episode, Dimple Bindra sits down with Brenda L Balding, a nurse of over 50 years and spiritual healer, to explore how unprocessed grief impacts our bodies, our emotions, and our self-worth.

Brenda shares compassionate wisdom on:

• Why even healthy births can trigger postpartum grief
• The deep emotional layers behind miscarriage and abortion
• How curiosity, not judgment, creates space for healing
• Body-based tools like stream-of-consciousness writing and intuitive painting
• Spiritual guidance and acronyms like GRIEF, HOW, SHAME, and JOB to help navigate loss

This episode is a safe space for anyone who's ever wondered, “Why do I still feel this way?” or felt alone in their sadness. You are not broken. You are grieving—and you deserve support.

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Transcript

0:16

Sometimes life shatters your heart in ways you never expected through an abortion, a miscarriage, or a traumatic birth.

0:26

I need you all to understand that today we have an amazing guest, and before I introduce you to her, I just want to say welcome back everyone.

0:34

Welcome to the Dimple Bindra show where we open the conversations most people are too afraid to have.

0:41

I'm your host.

0:42

Simple, and today we are stepping into tender, often hidden pain that comes with loss and how curiosity, not judgment, can be the key to grieving without carrying the crush weight of guilt.

0:59

No matter what your experience looked like, whether it was a choice, a loss, or something that left you feeling powerless, your emotions are real, they are valid, and deserve space to heal.

1:12

In today's episode, we are going to explore how embracing curiosity about your feelings, your body, and your story can help you honor your grief, release the shame, and move forward with deeper self compassion.

1:28

And if you have ever felt alone in your healing or wondered if you're allowed to grieve in your own way, this episode is for you.

1:39

Today I have another special guest.

1:42

Her name is Brenda L Balding, who is a registered nurse of over 50 years.

1:48

She's also a Reiki energy healer, an author, spiritual guide, and self-discovery expert.

1:56

Through her work with Love's inner Voice, she helps people connect with their heart's wisdom, offering simple, loving guidance on their self-awareness journey.

2:07

Brenda is deeply passionate about supporting healing and growth for the greatest good of all.

2:14

Welcome to the show, Brenda.

2:16

Thank you so much, Dimple, It is my joy and pleasure to be here with you today.

2:22

What a gift.

2:23

Oh, thank you for accepting our invite to be on this podcast.

2:27

So thank you, Brenda, and I have met Brenda, I would say over the phone and when I listened to her little story, which she is gonna definitely talk about today, I felt like this is something we really want to bring on for our guests.

2:41

So Brenda.

2:42

I would love for you to take us, all of our listeners, just a little back about your story, like what inspired you to begin your journey as a nurse and eventually step into energy healing and spiritual guidance.

2:58

Thank you for asking, Dimple.

3:00

You know, I've been a caregiver my whole life.

3:05

I think it started when I was 8 when my 6th sibling, there's 7 of us, was born.

3:15

And my mother would always say as I left the house, watch out for your little brothers and sisters.

3:23

Does that not raise a caregiver?

3:26

Oh yeah, big time.

3:27

Parent, it's like the parent personality in us.

3:31

Yeah.

3:32

And then I realized that I really wanted to do some volunteering work, and so I became a volunteer at the hospital.

3:42

Back then they called us candy stripers.

3:45

It was for a long time in the 60s.

3:48

And then from there because I got so much, so many gifts.

3:55

From doing that work, from seeing how I could be of assistance to others, and then I had a favorite aunt and uncle.

4:05

He was a surgeon.

4:06

She was a nurse.

4:08

They were married and so they shared all of their wealth and knowledge with me, which brought me into being a registered nurse, getting a bachelor of science degree.

4:20

And traveling and doing all different things.

4:24

My very first job was with the VA hospital in New York.

4:30

I went to school in Seattle, Washington.

4:33

So that was a whole new experience.

4:36

And what I realized when I took my Reiki healing class for level 2 Reiki healing about 4 or 5 years ago, I told my instructor, I said, I've been doing this my whole life.

4:51

I realized I was doing energy healing from the time I was at the VA hospital in New York in 1971.

4:59

Wow.

5:00

It just didn't have a label, but I knew that my hands would get really warm when I would give the evening back rubs and the patients would feel so much better and lighter.

5:13

And more calm, and they were able to sleep better, and I didn't know what I was doing back then they called it healing hands.

5:21

I just was allowing the divine to come through me into my hands.

5:27

I was a conduit.

5:29

Wow, as you're speaking it, I'm getting chills in my body because that is something that I do too, and I never realized what that was until you're explaining it to me now that usually when we are with people that we are supposed to heal and if we have the right intention to heal them, we are gonna start feeling chills in our body and through our hands so that the energy can move from us to them so that they can feel better.

5:55

Yeah.

5:55

I love that.

5:57

And it's totally noninvasive.

6:00

Yeah, you know, we're not invading their energy space, we're not cutting, we're not giving them shots or anything like that.

6:09

We're just being the love conduit of what I call divine healing.

6:16

I agree.

6:18

Tell me about, why did you write two books.

6:21

One is the sacred connection, one is Discovery is recovery.

6:25

Tell me more about what inspired you to write those books, Brenda.

6:30

Well, the first book, which is Discovery is recovery, I was encouraged to write it by a friend who I was taking a class to learn more about me from the perspective of art.

6:47

And I realized that I wanted to, or I was given the insight to share some learnings that I received through 12 step.

7:00

Process which a lot of us are dealing with in one way or another.

7:07

And the spiritual concepts like honesty and hope and faith and courage and love, and perseverance of learning who we are and being our unique self.

7:25

So I wanted to give people an opportunity and discovery is recovery to explore all of those things within themselves and see where they wanna be and how they wanna show up in the world because we're all unique.

7:40

And to show up in somebody else's way of being doesn't serve anybody.

7:47

Correct.

7:48

And then the sacred connection.

7:50

I was offered to, it's an anthology of seven women.

7:56

Sharing their connection story with the divine and.

8:02

I was asked to do that, and because there are only 7 of us, we each have like 10 to 12 pages of our story.

8:11

In there.

8:13

I was my sacred discovery.

8:17

Wow.

8:19

Would, would you like to share anything about your story here on this podcast for our listeners, especially women listeners who, you know, and, and, and the topic today is obviously a very sensitive topic.

8:30

Would you like to share anything with us?

8:35

Well, my sacred discovery took a long road, and I'm still discovering my connection to myself, to my heart, to my soul, to the divine.

8:45

, to, I Real realized that.

8:52

I wanted the divine to be.

8:54

, something that made sense to me, and we all have a name, whether it's Yahweh, God, Jesus, and it doesn't matter.

9:05

Yes, and I created one called Dear ones.

9:11

Because my connection is to many and all, whether it's my ancestors.

9:19

Mhm.

9:20

Whether it's God, whether it's Yahweh, it doesn't matter.

9:25

But also, they gave me that name because the initials are due.

9:32

And they want me to do and share the like love from the divine.

9:39

Wow, interesting, very, very cool.

9:43

So because we are going to talk about our sensitive topic, which is, I would say this has been.

9:54

not a burden, but maybe deeply saddened by a lot of women, and women carry it silently, the grief after an abortion, a miscarriage, or a traumatic birth.

10:09

And because I am one of those women.

10:13

And I know there are so many other women that can echo this feeling.

10:19

From your perspective, why is it so important to honor this grief without any judgment?

10:28

Thank you for asking that question.

10:30

You know, we, we enjoyed quite a conversation about grief and I didn't realize this when I had my daughter 48 plus years ago.

10:43

And I got this realization as I was.

10:48

Doing some healing in Hawaii at the end of 2024 after my 99 year old father passed on 1212-24.

11:01

I'm so sorry for your loss.

11:03

Thank you.

11:05

And it was a blessing to have him for so many years.

11:08

And the gifts that he gave all of us.

11:12

And what I realized is that, and I was given this as a gift when I was going through my own grief.

11:21

I realized that grief is a chance for me and for others to rebirth.

11:28

In a way that we never thought we could do.

11:31

So I came up with an acronym for grief, because acronyms help me to raise vibration, to look at the words of the acronym and how they can assist me on my journey.

11:47

So the acronym I came up with for grief is grateful rebirthing Internal Energy Flow.

11:57

Because one of the things about grief or any what we call negative emotion, which I don't consider any emotions negative because they're all gifts for us to learn from.

12:08

Yeah.

12:10

Is what can I be grateful about from this?

12:14

What is there for me to learn?

12:19

And you know, I had two miscarriages after I had the birth of my daughter.

12:25

And what I realized looking back is that I still needed to say, And honor them for who they, who they were, those little spirits that chose not to come through or they did not to come through for whatever reason.

12:40

But what I also realized is that when I birthed a healthy child, it was slightly traumatic because I had no birth pain until I went into transitional pain.

12:52

Yeah, I agree I had no pain and it's like.

12:56

How do you go from no pain to transition pain in, in one minute?

13:02

Mhm, mhm.

13:02

Yeah.

13:03

So wait, you had no pain when she was born?

13:07

When she was born, I had pain.

13:10

But I had none of the pre-pain, so I couldn't use Lamas.

13:14

I couldn't do any of that because I had no pain.

13:17

Oh, I get it.

13:19

I know, I get it.

13:19

OK.

13:20

OK.

13:20

Wow.

13:21

That's, that's very, that, that's amazing.

13:24

I feel like it was amazing and I didn't have pain until he broke my water.

13:30

The doctor had to go in and break my water cause my water hadn't broken.

13:34

And I was 8 dilated, 8 to 10 dilated.

13:38

She was ready to be born, but my water was still holding her in.

13:43

Wow.

13:45

So they had to go in and and slice open my placenta.

13:51

She had little marks on her, on her head from those cuts.

13:57

Oh my God.

13:59

And OK, so she was born with the with those cuts?

14:02

She was just a little, little, you could see them little, and then she didn't want to come out, so we had to use the forceps.

14:11

Mhm.

14:11

They get her past my coccyx and then she literally popped out and he's going, oh hello.

14:21

Oh don't drop it.

14:22

Wow, that is hilarious.

14:25

So I know this is great that you're even giving us an acronym and a funny story to the acronym.

14:30

So I'm gonna repeat it for our audience.

14:33

It's G R I E F is gratitude, right?

14:38

Or grateful grateful, sorry, grateful rebirthing.

14:43

Internal energy flow.

14:46

Yes.

14:47

Beautiful.

14:48

And what I realized looking back at all of that is that my daughter came out beautifully.

14:55

Yes, it was a little bit traumatic, but she was beautiful.

14:59

She could be on my chest and even those who don't have any of this little bit of trauma.

15:05

It's still a loss because we've had that connection for 8 or 9 months.

15:13

We have created that being cell by cell by cell, and especially why Western medicine doesn't realize that this is a loss when that baby comes out, even though it's a healthy baby, and they don't encourage us to to grieve.

15:33

That change cause it's a major change.

15:35

It's a physiological change.

15:39

And then when the last thing comes out, the placenta, we've totally lost that cell cell connection with that child, and that's probably why so many women go into postpartum blues, postpartum depression, because they're not encouraged to grieve that.

16:02

Are you also trying to say, is this usually for women who do do go through a miscarriage?

16:09

Right, and then they have a child.

16:12

Either way.

16:14

So can you explain talking about a live birth?

16:18

Yeah, healthy baby.

16:20

Maybe it's a new mom that's never had a baby before, never had a miscarriage before.

16:28

Mhm.

16:28

And she can't understand why she's so depressed.

16:32

That connection, that cellular to cellular connection that she had with the baby is gone.

16:40

Interesting.

16:41

Maybe I'm not understanding this.

16:43

How is it gone when she delivered the baby?

16:47

And this is again for a woman who has never had a miscarriage or an abortion before.

16:53

So from your perspective.

16:56

How do you define that loss that she's feeling even though she just delivered the baby?

17:02

She's joyful and ecstatic that the baby is there.

17:05

She could nurse the baby and all of that, and she grew that baby.

17:12

For 9 months, she could feel the quickening in the body.

17:17

She could feel all of the changes in the body.

17:21

And when that comes out, when that child is birth, those feelings are gone.

17:27

Oh, I get it now.

17:29

-huh.

17:30

Yes, you're right, gone.

17:32

Correct.

17:33

Right.

17:33

That deep physical connection is gone.

17:38

Yes, they have the joy of having a baby.

17:41

That's different than having it inside and all of your energy and your food choices and all of that are creating that child.

17:54

Wow, you know, I have never heard this perspective before and I feel this is a great perspective.

18:00

I feel like it's a reason why women, especially in Western medicine, go through so much, grief, can, not all, can go through much grief, and they don't understand it because they have this beautiful baby that they can nurse.

18:21

I love that.

18:22

Their body lost something.

18:25

The body, it's body loss.

18:29

That makes sense.

18:30

Totally, just like I was curious, I feel like a lot of women will be curious about this topic.

18:37

So you.

18:39

Usually talk about the power of curiosity.

18:43

So how can being curious about our emotions, especially in this situation that you just mentioned, this is for a woman who never had a baby before, all of a sudden she has a live birth.

18:54

She just births a baby, but now she's diagnosed with sadness, anxiety, depression, you know, postpartum depression.

19:02

So how can being curious about our emotions shift the way we experience grief?

19:09

For me, it's about noticing, oh, I'm feeling a little bit sad or I'm feeling a little bit down.

19:19

Where is this coming from?

19:22

Where in my body am I feeling this?

19:25

Instead of having judgment about it, instead of saying, oh, I can't think about this because it's scary.

19:34

Or they're gonna think I'm crazy, correct?

19:39

How can I deal with this?

19:40

So I have another acronym for you for help.

19:44

Tell us, so how acronym, before we had the grief acronym, now we learn how to come out of the grief.

19:51

Is that the acronym?

19:52

How to come out of the grief, but more just the word how.

19:55

How often do we ask, use how is the first part of our question.

20:01

Open-mindedness, willingness.

20:04

Honestly, open-mindedness and willingnessingness.

20:09

So it's really honest.

20:11

Open willingness.

20:13

How can we use this acronym for this situation?

20:16

And then I'll ask you, how can we use the same acronym for a woman who has had miscarriage before, but now she just has a baby and now she's still sad.

20:25

Or maybe it's the same how can I, how do I, how can I deal with it?

20:29

How do I deal with this?

20:31

Well, first of all, I need to be honest about what I'm feeling.

20:35

Then I need to be open about either sharing it.

20:39

Or open with myself about asking those tough questions.

20:44

Where is it coming from?

20:46

Does it mean that I love my childless?

20:49

Does it mean I'm going crazy?

20:51

None of that is true.

20:53

And then am I willing to really look deeper?

20:57

And to look at where this is coming from.

21:01

And we can use that for anything.

21:05

An emotion that is whether it's fear, whether it's loss, whether it's grief, whether it it doesn't matter.

21:14

How am I choosing.

21:16

This emotion.

21:19

To show up today.

21:22

Am I showing up in anger?

21:24

Am I showing up in feeling less than or feeling crazy?

21:30

Yeah, OK, I love that.

21:32

Honestly, and then open-mindedness and willingness and we can use that acronym, especially when we have some sort of an emotion that is coming up for us, but we don't know where it's coming from.

21:44

Right.

21:46

So ask, you know, honestly, take a look at it.

21:50

And be open to the answer.

21:53

We can ask our higher power, our divine connection.

21:58

Where is this coming from?

22:00

What is there here for me to learn?

22:04

And being willing to listen to our body, to the divine, because a lot of it's we hold in our body and is that where it really belongs?

22:15

No, it just causes stress in the body.

22:19

Exactly, and I think the body's wisdom is so strong that once we are willing to introspect and reflect on what comes up for us, our body, our intuition, the higher power is going to show us the message in our reality and sometimes the message comes from within.

22:36

Right.

22:37

And it could even be coming from your, your little dimple or my little brandy.

22:43

Yeah, saying, you haven't talked to me in a while and I really like having this baby in my life.

22:51

Please share it with me.

22:53

Yeah, I get it.

22:54

Oh wow, this is really, really amazing.

22:57

So, You can definitely introspect with the acronym HA, which is honestly open-mindedness and willingness.

23:05

That brings me to my next question.

23:08

When, when someone feels guilt or shame around their loss, what's one gentle step that they can take to start loosening that grip that they're feeling in their body?

23:22

What do you recommend?

23:23

What I recommend is to notice at first, because a lot of times.

23:28

When we have a bellyache, we don't know where it's coming from.

23:31

It could be the food that we ate, or it could be that we ate too fast, or we're feeling really heavy in our hearts.

23:39

Shame, we talked about this.

23:43

We're shooting on ourselves when we're watching and walking in shame for me.

23:48

I should have known better.

23:50

I should have listened to mom more closely.

23:53

I should have gotten more into education.

23:57

I should have spoken my truth, should have, should have, should have, should have, all have, should have, should have.

24:04

All those shoulds that we shoot ourselves with, and I shared the acronym for shame with you.

24:10

Oh, wow, we have, we're getting a lot of today.

24:14

This is great.

24:15

Let's, yes, let's do shame.

24:17

So we got the grief, we got the how, now we have shame.

24:21

Yes.

24:22

You should have already mastered everything.

24:28

Oh my goodness.

24:30

In other words, The shootingness, the shootingness, I should have known that.

24:39

And what brought that up for me was I had a year ago this month.

24:47

A fraud Thing that I believed was true.

24:53

To the tune of about $60,000.

24:56

Oh my goodness, really.

24:59

And I went through a lot of grief around that because it was related to my dad.

25:06

Wow, so.

25:09

You know, it's really listening and trusting and yes, I did.

25:16

Brenda, you're 75 years old, you should have known better.

25:21

Well, you know what, I hadn't dealt with fraud before and with people who can sound so severe, so sincere.

25:30

Yeah.

25:33

I am so sorry.

25:34

So the other thing is, is really looking at all of the ways we're showing up in life and any of those little losses that we haven't dealt with or haven't even noticed.

25:50

And change can be a loss.

25:52

Any change that we have and, you know, I, when I was asked to or when I chose to retire.

25:59

I'm, I went through a lost thing because all of a sudden, oh.

26:04

I'm not going to work anymore.

26:07

Yeah, I agree, I agree like, yeah, and what is work anyway?

26:13

It's really heavy.

26:14

The word is heavy and I shared this with you too.

26:18

Our job.

26:20

As humans, is to walk in the joy of being job.

26:27

Another acronym here, wow.

26:30

And you know, it totally is about if we're, if I'm gonna walk in the joy of being, then I want to have as much knowledge of myself, self-knowledge.

26:44

And I also want to have enough self knowledge to know what I want to get rid of and let go.

26:52

This is beautiful.

26:53

We're getting so much of acronyms from you.

26:55

So job, another one, listeners, is joy of being and if you're not happy in being at your job, this is that's not the right job for you.

27:05

You better get out.

27:06

So this is OK.

27:08

I, I really like what you said about that.

27:10

So what about, and yes, you talked about loss, you talked about we have a lot of these different losses that we go through and sometimes we don't grieve those losses.

27:21

Right?

27:21

And that's when we carry out.

27:23

Like we just carried that previous loss over to our next transition of our lives, not knowing why we're feeling what we are feeling.

27:31

I know this personally too, and I know a lot of women wonder, is it OK that I am still grieving?

27:39

You know, for example, for me, one of my biggest losses that I think I felt in my life was.

27:48

When I got betrayed by a cult teacher.

27:53

And I completely left and quit all my jobs because I was supposed to move to India under the guidance of this cul teacher.

28:01

Thank God I didn't go.

28:02

But when I found out, and this is like I've I've been working towards going to India to I would, I would just be there and that was my story, my narrative back then.

28:12

This is like years ago.

28:14

That I'm just going to go under this teacher and I'm going to learn about all about spirituality and all of a sudden I find out that, oh, this teacher was going to get me married to somebody and I was basically going to get trafficked.

28:26

Anyway, so when I was here in California and I quit all my jobs that I was working at as a yoga instructor, I was hiding for one full year, not showing up, not teaching, nothing, and I, I think now I can relate that was probably a loss.

28:43

Yeah, it was a big loss, huge loss, and the loss was based on betrayal, exactly.

28:54

So that's my story, but then I have so many other losses.

28:56

OK, but all these women, they grieve, loss or betrayal, they grieve, loss of a baby, they grieve like retirement, you know, you retire all of a sudden your identity was a teacher or somebody and now you lose that identity.

29:13

How do you think, and here, here was my question, is it OK for women to feel I'm still grieving it like today in present time.

29:25

What would you say?

29:26

I would say yes.

29:28

And the reason I say that is if it's still coming up, there's still something for me to learn.

29:37

Hm.

29:38

That doesn't mean that I go back to the past, to that thing.

29:43

That means I acknowledge, oh, I'm still feeling that.

29:48

I'm sorry, this phone doesn't wanna stop.

29:53

I'm still feeling something related to that.

29:56

Is there another layer here for me to learn from that experience?

30:02

Not that I have to go back and feel everything again.

30:05

Mhm.

30:06

Bring it into present time.

30:10

And go, oh, I'm still feeling grief about that because that's what came up when the grief did.

30:20

Or the fear or the anger or the loss or whatever it is that you're feeling.

30:27

What else is there here that I'm ready to learn from this experience?

30:33

OK, makes sense.

30:34

So basically just like very somatic approach.

30:37

Anything that you're feeling, if you're angry, upset about it, or any emotional feeling you're feeling in your body, which means you haven't really dealt with that grief, that story.

30:48

Or we haven't dealt with, or it's another layer that we, that is ready to be dealt with because we weren't ready to deal with the whole big mass at the time.

31:00

Got it.

31:01

Kind of like an onion.

31:03

A lot of really deep trauma and a lot of really deep loss or grief are multi-layered usually, not always, but usually.

31:16

Especially if it's trauma that was repetitive trauma from childhood, from marriage, from You know, PTSD, whatever label we wanna put on it.

31:30

When we're ready as a person.

31:33

To deal with the next layer, it will come up.

31:38

And until we deal with it.

31:41

It's gonna keep coming up.

31:44

Yeah.

31:45

OK, so that's basically the first step.

31:47

Like the first step could be because my, you know, I was gonna ask you, in your, in your experience, what are some ways like someone can begin to heal after a deep pain.

31:58

Of losing a baby.

31:59

So basically we're talking about loss.

32:02

So first step of any loss, including losing a baby is witness what you're feeling and maybe there is another layer that's coming up, so witness it.

32:14

And what would you recommend?

32:16

The next step would be for someone who's trying to deal with the loss or grief, grief of their loss.

32:26

Well it depends on the person's situation, the woman's situation.

32:31

Does she have a loving relationship that she can share this with?

32:38

Whether it's a friend, whether it's a husband, whether it's a mother.

32:43

It doesn't really matter.

32:46

I'm really experiencing this right now.

32:50

And I'm having trouble getting dealing with it.

32:54

Sometimes we might have to go to a therapist in there.

32:57

Yeah.

32:58

, is what you're finding support, but it's also being willing to ask.

33:07

For the assistance that you may need.

33:10

To walk through this layer.

33:14

Makes sense because not everyone even is in a position to share.

33:18

Sometimes they just feel so much of grief that they are shameful about the grief that they're feeling, and sometimes they don't even know what they're feeling.

33:26

So makes sense, a willingness to share, OK.

33:30

What else would you recommend them to do?

33:34

But also, a lot of times it's cultural.

33:40

How were we raised or it's religious.

33:43

It's not OK to show your feelings.

33:46

Oh yeah, you know, if we were raised that way.

33:50

How do we deal with it?

33:52

One of the best ways that I think people can deal with it, couple of, couple of things.

33:58

I can tell you what I do.

34:00

Sure, yes.

34:02

And then I can tell you something that I've done in the past, but this is what I like to do now.

34:08

I have an easel with paper and acrylic paints, and when I'm in a really funk.

34:17

I'll just take out my acrylic paints and I'll just put paint all over that piece of paper and it doesn't matter what it looks like because my emotions are now going onto the paper.

34:31

And then once I calm down, I can look at what came out and I can say, oh, what is that telling me?

34:41

I love it.

34:42

It's beautiful.

34:44

One of the other ways that you can do that is to do what I call stream of consciousness writing.

34:53

Where you get a pen and paper and you just say, I am so whatever it is, I'm so in loss, I'm so stuck.

35:03

I'm so whatever it is, please.

35:08

I just need to write about it, and you start writing, no commas, no periods, no capitals, no nothing.

35:15

You don't even read what you're writing, you're just writing.

35:19

And I've done 3 and 4 pages of that.

35:23

And then I go.

35:26

You know, it's sort of all out on the paper and I can go, oh, I felt so good.

35:33

And then a couple of hours later or a day or two later, I'll go back and I'll read it, and all of a sudden there's some answers from the divine in there about what it is that I was feeling.

35:46

Beautiful.

35:47

So step one is feel the feelings, sit with it.

35:51

Step 2, find support and obviously share if you can, or ask someone for help if you are in that space.

35:59

Step 3 is Brenda's favorite, which is she would just go and start painting, so I would say if You have a book with like color pen, you can start doing it on a book.

36:10

It doesn't have to be colored pencils, right?

36:13

Exactly, which is great, you know, art is great, and step 4 is stream of consciousness writing, which is more like journaling, but just journal whatever is coming up for you in that moment.

36:25

What I would add one thing to this which is do not text anyone when you're upset.

36:33

I think.

36:33

Oh, the other thing that I didn't tell you is doodle.

36:37

Doodling, oh yeah, doodling.

36:41

That really works too, yeah, it totally works.

36:44

I agree.

36:45

I love, I love these stuffs.

36:46

This is great.

36:48

Any other?

36:51

Tips that you want to add to this or I can ask you my next question.

36:55

Pray, pray, oh yeah, 100% pray, pray, yes, 100.

37:01

What that means to you, whether it's reading your favorite poem that touches your heart, that can be a prayer.

37:09

Beautiful.

37:10

OK, so we have a lot of stuff, a lot of steps and stuff out here.

37:15

My actually my second last question is.

37:19

Are there any small daily practices that you recommend for women who are trying to reconnect with themselves after a loss?

37:27

And it can just be all of these stuffs that we just mentioned.

37:30

You can just, you know, it could be all of this none of these are in order.

37:34

So whatever feels right for you in the moment.

37:38

Yeah.

37:39

Number one, acknowledging, oh, where am I today?

37:43

Mhm.

37:44

How am I feeling today?

37:47

How is my body feeling today?

37:50

And sometimes it is just a matter of waking up and saying, Thank you for another day, you know, and being in gratitude and kindness for the day, with yourself and with others.

38:04

It doesn't have to be hard.

38:07

We tend to make it hard.

38:09

Why we humans like to make things hard.

38:12

I don't know.

38:14

Because we're complicated.

38:15

We're super complicated in our lives, and we feel like everything has to be complicated.

38:19

We just can't simplify anything, really being in gratitude for the day and for the gifts that you have and for the gifts that are on the way.

38:30

Beautiful.

38:32

So Brenda, if you could leave every woman listening with just one message about grief, love, and self-healing, what would that be?

38:42

Love and accept yourself for just who you are today.

38:47

Oh I love that.

38:48

I'm, I'm gonna give myself a big hug right now to tell myself this.

38:52

I and, and I encourage every listener to do this.

38:54

They just love and accept yourself for wherever you are today, because I feel women don't do it enough.

39:01

Yeah, beautiful.

39:03

Brenda, it was wonderful having you on our show.

39:06

Please tell us, where can our listeners know more about you, about your offerings, about your services, about your books?

39:14

Where can they find you?

39:16

The easiest place to find me is on Linktree.

39:20

Linktree, and I'm gonna also have I also am on Facebook, Brenda L Balding.

39:26

I'm also on podcasts and YouTube.

39:29

Love sooner voice.

39:32

Love's inner voice.

39:33

Perfect.

39:33

So Brenda, I'm gonna definitely add your information on our show notes and I'm also gonna tell our listeners to please go and buy her books.

39:41

She has two books on Amazon.

39:43

One is the Sacred Connection, one is the Discovery is recovery, and if you need any help from her, she is a great coach.

39:52

She's an author, she's a spiritual teacher to me, and if you have any questions, please reach out to her.

39:57

I'm gonna add her information on the show notes.

40:00

Thank you so much, Brenda, for our lovely conversation, especially for women who are dealing with loss and grief.

40:07

I so appreciate you.

40:09

Thank you, dimple.

40:10

I so had so much fun being here.

40:13

You know, we are blessed to be here.

40:17

Absolutely, 100%, we are blessed and for all of our listeners, always remember metamorphosis, not medication, and a day.

40:27

I'm gonna stay.

40:29

For all of our listeners, if you have any questions and you really want the answers for it, then feel free to book a 20 minute free consultation with me.

40:39

And if you love this episode, then please give us a review on iTunes.

40:43

Thank you so much and see you on another episode.