Ep 91: Why You Don’t Need Marriage, Kids, or a Husband to Be a Whole Woman

You were whole the day you were born. You don’t need a husband to validate you, a baby to prove you’re loving, or a family photo to prove you’re enough.

In this fiery episode of The Dimple Bindra Show, I tear apart the cultural conditioning that tells women their worth is tied to marriage, motherhood, or obedience. If you grew up in an Indian, South Asian, Middle Eastern, or traditional household, this message will speak straight to your heart.

We’ll uncover:

• The “good girl” syndrome that keeps women small and silent
• How shame, culture, and obedience are used to control women
• The silent grief of women who gave up their dreams for approval
• Why choosing yourself is the most radical act of empowerment
• How to reclaim your wholeness, your power, and your truth

This isn’t just a podcast episode, it’s a wake-up call for women everywhere who are done being measured by their ring finger, their womb, or their willingness to follow the rules.

✨ If you’re ready to rise beyond patriarchal conditioning, toxic family expectations, and cultural pressure, this episode will give you permission to stop performing and start becoming.

✨ Not sure why you keep sabotaging your healing or staying stuck in survival mode? Take my free Healing Archetype Quiz to uncover the hidden pattern blocking your power and discover how to rise as the woman you were born to be.

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Transcript

If you grew up in an Indian household or an Asian household, or anywhere in the world where being a woman meant being someone's wife, someone's mother, someone's good little girl, then this episode is going to rattle your bones.

Welcome back to another episode of the Dimple Bindra show.

Welcome listeners, if you're here for the first time, I highly encourage you to please listen to the entire podcast till the end and do give us a review if you like what you're hearing.

And if you have been listening to me already, then welcome back.

I'm so excited that you're here today because we are coming for the lies, the cultural conditioning.

The generational scripts that we have been told and the silent shame.

Because I'm freaking done watching women, especially Asian women, break themselves just to fit into cages.

They never even asked for, you know, cages called cages called what?

Ta da, marriage.

Cages called motherhood and cage is called what will people say.

So if you have ever felt like your worth is being measured by your womb.

Or your ring finger?

Or how obediently you fulfill someone else's timeline, then stay, stay till the end of the podcast, because today we are burning that whole system down.

And if you want to understand why you keep playing small, following the rules, and people pleasing, even when it's killing you, then I highly encourage you to do this, OK?

Go into the show notes and take the healing archetype quiz.

Just click on the link, or you can just go to my website, dimplebiner.com.

And I will tell you exactly which survival role you have been taught to perform and how to unlearn it.

And guess what, it's completely free, absolutely free, OK, so please go check that out.

So today our topic is, which I really, really, really wanted to shout from my lungs and talk about this, why you don't need marriage, kids, or a husband to be a whole woman.

Let me say this super clearly.

You were whole the day you were born.

You don't need a husband to validate you.

You don't need a baby to prove you're loving, and you do not need a family photo to be enough.

Let's talk about why these toxic expectations on women.

Especially Indian women are raised with, OK, so let's really talk about that.

I always grew up hearing.

And I'm gonna say this in Hindi.

Shadi Carlovana leojai, and this is, this simply means I'm going to translate in English if you don't understand Hindi.

You gotta get married, otherwise you'll be late.

You see what I'm saying?

I, I literally grew up hearing this, especially when I was like 19 and 20 and 21 and 22.

I've been hearing this.

All the relatives would tell my mom, get your daughter married, get your daughter married.

Damn, I was freaking only 18 or 19, or I've even heard saying.

I've even heard some aunties would call up my mom and say, Beta, you know, like, like they would come up, tell my mom, and then they would tell me, Beta kiki life to her basane mehigoti.

What does that mean?

It means daughter, your life is only about getting married because once you get married, that's going to be your life.

Oh really?

And then they say.

And they used to tell me I just Carlo compromise to car apartheid, which simply means if you are in a relationship and you're complaining about your toxic man to your family members, guess what they say?

Adjust with the person.

You gotta compromise because compromises is marriage.

Like really?

This makes me really upset right now and I always get angry about it and that's why obviously I'm doing this podcast.

It's not about showing you my anger, but it's about really understanding why we are told these freaking lies.

And if you are from the South Asia.

The Middle East or even certain conservative pockets around the world, you know exactly what I mean, right?

There is a deep rooted belief in our culture that women are made for marriage, that a woman's real life starts after she's married, that if you are unmarried at 30, you are left over, a problem, a disappointment.

Really?

I don't think so.

And let me tell you something, you're not a leftover.

You are not behind and you are definitely not broken, OK?

You are simply awakening and of course they want to shame you because women, because a woman who doesn't need validation from a man is dangerous in a culture built on control.

Like, look around you, it's a man's world.

There is toxic patriarchy running our countries, running our lives.

So obviously, even the women in your life are going to tell you to follow that conditioning.

And here's a real reason so many families obsess over marriage.

It's not about your happiness, it's not about their status, their reputation, their comfort in showing you.

It's not about their comfort and it's not about, sorry, sometimes I stutter when I talk too fast, and it's because I get emotional about certain topics, so bear with me.

I'll say that again.

It's not about their comfort in knowing you followed the damn rules.

Because once you question the system, you threaten everything they believed in, right?

So let me break this down for you.

You do not need a wedding to be celebrated.

You absolutely do not need a baby to be nurturing.

And you do not need a man to be complete.

You can choose those things, but they do not define your worth.

And let's talk about the quiet grief so many women carry, OK?

You probably even think about this, and so many women I speak to, especially all of my one on one clients and some of my group clients, we talk about this.

Women carry this quiet grief, especially the woman who forced herself to marry a nice guy she never loved just to make her parents happy.

Or the woman who had a child because she thought it would fix her marriage.

Or the woman who stayed silent during abuse because she was told.

Everything works in marriages.

And in Hindi they say shadimesa kuchaltahe, which means everything works in marriages, even the abuse you're tolerating, even the gaslighting, the manipulation, the physical violence, the mental violence, every assault, everything works in marriages.

Oh really?

Does it really work in marriages?

I don't fucking think so.

And what about the woman who said no?

And I'm talking about myself here, OK?

If you've been hearing my previous podcasts, you know, I had to stand up for myself.

I had to say no fucking more, period.

What about the woman who left?

What about the woman who chose herself?

She's branded rebellious.

She's branded, oh, difficult woman, too independent, but you know what, she really is.

If you are that woman, or you want to be that woman.

You know who you really are?

You're free.

So let's name what keeps us trapped.

Number one, What what's been keeping you trapped is the good Indian girl syndrome.

And you're from China, then the good Chinese girl syndrome.

And if you're from Africa, then the good Africa African girl syndrome.

No matter where you are at, it's the good girl syndrome.

The belief that obedience means value.

And that your purpose is to make others proud, even if it kills your soul.

No, thank you.

Do not believe in this bullshit philosophy from anybody.

#2.

What has kept you trapped?

Is that you've been thinking that marriage is a benchmark.

The belief that unless you're chosen by a man, your life hasn't started yet.

That weddings are trophies, not choices.

, that is not true either.

And that's my dishwasher, if you hear it.

Anyway,#3.

Motherhood as a redemption arc.

What does that mean?

That means if you become a mother, all your rebelliousness will be forgiven.

That nurturing a child makes you worthy of respect.

I mean, really, I've been told 1000 times.

You should be a mother.

You should be a mother.

I'm like, fuck that.

I've been mothering my siblings since I was little.

I've been a mother to myself.

I've been a mother to my mother.

I've been a mother to my father.

I've been a mother to all of my students.

I have been a mother.

I don't need to bring on a baby from my womb to make me feel worthy, you know.

And if you have been taught these things, I need you to burn all of it.

You get to choose your path, you get to choose whether or not you want to be married, and you get to choose if motherhood is for you or not.

And if you choose none of it, guess what?

You're still divine.

You're still sacred.

You are still worthy, sister.

I need you To now repeat.

I'm gonna give you these statements.

These statements are like declarations.

These will help you to speak your truth, OK?

So repeat after me.

I'm not made to serve a role.

I am made to live in truth.

My body is not a timeline.

My womb is not a social contract.

My value is not determined by anyone's last name.

I do not owe tradition my silence.

I do not owe culture my obedience.

I define womanhood on my terms.

I'm whole, I'm wild, I'm free.

And if this episode hits deep for you, then share it.

Let the women in your life hear it, the sisters, the mothers, the daughters who are still trying to break it out and break out from cultural conditioning.

And if you're tired of performing someone else's version of you, take the healing archetype quiz at dimplebinja.com.

Let's name your pattern.

Let's dismantle the story you've been telling yourself.

You're not here to make others comfortable.

You're here to become you.

I love you.

I honor your rebellion.

And I'll see you in the next episode of the Temple Bendra Show.

Bye.