Ep 98: When Happily Ever After Becomes a Prison, The Feminine Awakening Begins

From Bollywood blockbusters to Hollywood rom-coms, women have been sold the same story: your life begins after marriage. The girl meets her man, wears the perfect dress, and lives happily ever after.

But here’s the truth no movie will tell you, marriage is not a rescue plan, not an upgrade, and not the finish line of healing. If you’re not seen before marriage, you’ll be silenced after it.

In this episode of The Dimple Bindra Show, Dimple unpacks the cultural lies that tell women their worth comes from being chosen. From Bollywood love stories to family traditions, she exposes why so many women betray themselves to keep a ring, tolerate disrespect, and stay small.

You’ll learn:

• Why the “it gets better after marriage” story is one of the most dangerous illusions
• How Bollywood and cultural conditioning confuse sacrifice with love
• Why marriage does not heal you,  it exposes you
• What happens when women believe being chosen is their highest purpose
• Powerful affirmations to reclaim your worth, whether you are single, divorced, or married

This episode will challenge everything you’ve been told about marriage and help you remember: you don’t need to be rescued, you need to be revealed.

Listen to This Episode To Know Why Toxic Men Smell Your Wounds 

✨ Not sure why you keep sabotaging your healing or staying stuck in survival mode? Take my free Healing Archetype Quiz to uncover the hidden pattern blocking your power and discover how to rise as the woman you were born to be.

👉 Join my FREE Awakening Class where you’ll be witnessed, not silenced.

✨ Take the free Healing Archetype Quiz
🧘‍♀️ Book a free 20-minute trauma healing consultation
🌐 Explore resources & programs at dimplebindra.com

🔗 Connect With Me on Socials:

📲 Instagram: @dimplebindra
🎥 YouTube: Subscribe for free meditations
🎤 TikTok: @dimplebindra
📘 Facebook: Dimple Bindra
💼 LinkedIn (for collabs): Dimple Bindra

🙏 If this episode touched your soul, please leave a 5-star review it helps more women around the world find this sacred space.

Transcript

Raise your hand if you grew up watching Bollywood movies where the girl finally gets her happy ending, you know, she gets married to this guy and then they just live happily ever after.

But sometimes I think it's also in Hollywood, right? So the second she gets married or even like. So many soap operas where they show where the entire story of two people meeting together and then all of a sudden they fall in love and now they're like, it's a very beautiful happy ending.

But the entire plot is about finding the man who completes her, right? You know what? I grew up with the. Same fiction.

Welcome back to the Dimple Bindra show where we destroy illusions so that you can finally live in truth. Today's episode is about one of the most dangerous lies women have been fed across the globe, which is, it will get better after marriage, and I'm gonna start with the story.

One of my team members, she's only 25, and in her culture, it's, she's been telling me, Dimple, I'm 25 years old. I need to get married because all my friends are married. I'm like, whoa, right, you're only 25 years old, you know. And to me, I don't understand why she's thinking that way, but then when I look back and I'm like, wait a second, all of my friends are married. All of my friends married at a certain age because that's what we are told.

We are told to get married, get a husband, it's gonna get better after marriage, right? This lie is everywhere. It's in every language. It's on every screen. It's in every brown household and white household, maybe even black household.

And if you're tired of being told your real life will start when you meet this this one guy, or you meet your prince, or when you have a ring on your finger, or you finally become the perfect wife, then keep listening because this Podcast today is going to be real.

It is for the single women out there. It is also for the women who probably have been divorced and they want to remarry, and it's also for the women who are separated already from their current exes, but they are lying on a bed where they have to sleep alone and they think or dream about being with a guy.

OK, I'm gonna break that illusion for you today. So why is this illusion so funny to me? Because honestly, I have shared this over and over again and maybe I'll share this again. No man can complete you. The truth is no person can complete you.

So look, I need you to really look at your life and ask yourself, like literally do this, OK? Take a piece of paper, write down how many crushes did I have since I was born? Like, write it down, even if it was a baby crush, go for it.

Number 2, how many boyfriends did I have since I was born until today? So it doesn't, I, I don't care what your age is today. You can be 60, you can be 80, you can be a 20 year old woman listening to me right now. So right. Your crushes, you don't have to give names. Just write, OK, 123, how many boyfriends.

All right. How many times did you get married? Write that down. If you're still married to your current husband and you feel this is not the right guy for you and you really want to be with somebody else, you can write that person's name too, or maybe give them a number, right?

So the funny, the reason this is so funny to me is because We women have been told this story over and over again that a guy has to come and save us, right? And some of this shit is so absurd. All we can do is laugh while we burn it down.

Why? Because that's not true. If you really see your life from today's perspective and take back, you know, go back into your memory lane into your past stories, the boyfriends that you were with, right? Did they complete you? The answer is no. The guy that you got married to, and if you're listening to this podcast, then obviously he doesn't complete you, right?

So he doesn't complete you, you just feel like, wait, I was told this story, I made this story into my reality. I got married, or I need to get married and then everything will be OK. But that's not true. It is just a story that we were fed from our parents and of course our ancestors, and then we made that into our belief and obviously in today's media and everything out on social media and on Netflix, all you see is that same story being dramatized, right?

And that gets ingrained into our brain and we think this is the truth, this is how it should be, but it's not, it's not. And if you're wondering why you keep betraying your truth, to just chase someone else's version of love, I want you to really just at this moment maybe put a stop to this audio or video wherever you're listening to this, and I want you to take the healing archetype quiz at dimplebindra.com.

Your survival pattern didn't just start with you, it started generations ago. OK, let's start with the truth. Marriage is not a rescue plan. It's not an upgrade. It's not the finish line of healing. And by the time you listen to this recording, let me tell you, I have been married in the past and currently I no longer believe in marriage.

So like I mentioned, marriage is not an upgrade and it's not the finish line of healing, but so many women, especially in our Asian culture, are raised to believe that life before marriage is just the preparation. That your worth will finally be validated when you wear the red lehenga. OK, that's the lenga is the dress that the Indian bride wears. Hey, I wore it already two times in my life, or the white dress or whatever costume your culture puts you to. the world that hey, I've made it. I belong to someone now.

I felt that too. When I had the ring on my finger, I felt that. I felt it was like, oh, I finally belong. I finally have a man in my life, and now we'll start a family, you know? But I need you to listen to the real messaging that we grew up with, that a girl's real home is her husband's home.

I'm talking about the Asian brown brown culture here. This may not be true for if you are a white woman or maybe a Chinese woman, you know, depending on your culture because this podcast has been listened to worldwide. Thank you God and the goddess.

So wherever you're listening to some of the things you may relate to and some things you won't. So whatever you relate to, take that, whatever you don't relate to, understand, it's probably in another culture, it's happening at the moment.

So we, let's talk about like the real messaging, you know, we, we grew up with thinking a girl's real home, like I mentioned, is her husband's home, or you'll be respected more once you're married. Or it's OK if it's hard right now, but you know what, if you're single, don't worry. Once you're married, everything will be fixed or you'll be so happy once you have that man of your life who will take care of you.

none of that is true. It won't. No, it won't. Here's what nobody tells you. If you're not seen before marriage, you'll be silenced after it, right?

If you're not showing who you truly are right before marriage, the moment you enter marriage, guess what happens? You already are a nobody, right? Deep down inside, you get married and now all of a sudden your husband is not seeing you either because you are not being, you're not showing yourself. You're not being seen.

Thanks Jen Gottalib. I will quote her because her book is amazing. It's called Be See, but that's not the be scene I'm talking about. That be seen is for like women entrepreneurs who want to go on stage and talk and be seen. I'm talking about your needs, your wants, your hopes, your dreams, your aspirations, the things you dreamt about.

Those things, if you were not pursuing them before marriage, the moment you enter a marriage, all of a sudden the narratives of marriage is going to be implanted in your brain or if it's already been implanted or someone somewhere will keep telling you this is how it's done, let's do it this way, let's do it this way, and then you'll go out of your way betraying yourself.

You will be silenced after your marriage. If he doesn't respect you while you're dating this person, he'll control you in marriage. It's as simple as that. And learn from my experience. If a person is not respecting you while you're dating, please do not be his mama. Do not be his therapist. Do not be his coach. I did that mistake. Do not be that person.

He disrespects you. Put an end to it. Put an end to it. This is no longer tolerable for me. I'm no longer going to tolerate it. That's it. That's the full stop you want to put. Why?

Why do we end it the first time? Because if you don't do it, he's going to continue doing it, and he'll continue doing it until you get married and by the time you get married, because you just gave him, you were probably in denial or you probably thought, oh, he's going to get better. Oh yeah, he will change. Oh yeah, once we get married and we'll have children and he'll get better. No, he won't. He came with the baggage. He's showing you his real signs in the dating phase, and those are real signs that you have to accept.

And if you don't know what those red flag signs are, then do listen to one of the podcasts that I've already recorded. I will put it in the show notes in the show notes for red flag education, especially if you're dating a guy or you are married to a guy and if he's a toxic guy or not, I'm going to put that in the show notes.

So going back to the person you are with, why you need to put an end to it right away? Because when you do that, you're saying to yourself, That I'm honoring who I am, and you're telling the other person, I'm no longer going to tolerate this behavior, so the other person gets the message that oops. She's a woman of class. She is a confident woman. She knows what she wants, but when we put up with such bullshit.

The guys that are in our lives are also bullshit. They are not real men. They are toxic men. They are narcissistic because they basically bring on their flaws onto the relationship and we tolerate it and we accept it and we think they will change, but they don't change.

Makes sense? OK. So let me tell you something else that if you betray your body and your voice just to make it work, you'll keep doing it inside a legally binding contract. I have made that mistake. That's why I'm recording this podcast on a Sunday, telling you, don't do it. Do not do this mistake.

Something you don't like in the dating in the dating phase, put an end to it. Put no to it, but say, just say I'm not going to tolerate this. I'm sorry, but this is not something I'm I am, I am going to tolerate because if you say yes to it, it will keep happening.

And I also want to add that why am I explaining these things to you? Because marriage does not heal you, OK? It exposes you. Let's talk about Bollywood for a minute. How many movies show the girl being rescued by love? How many happy endings are with a wedding? Like that's the solution to every struggle.

And don't even get me started on the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, which is called Sas and Bahoo TV shows. Where your biggest purpose is to impress your in-laws while fighting other women for approval. And same goes for Hollywood rom-coms. She's quirky, she's clumsy, she's lost, and then she meets him and suddenly everything makes sense. Girl, no. The only thing that makes sense is finally finding yourself.

And I'm at a place today, out of my experiences, to find myself and I feel the best relationship that I have in my life is with myself, and I hope through this podcast you can understand the depth, my feelings, and the emotions behind even recording this podcast that you have to find yourself.

And why do they sell us this story? Because when women believe marriage is their reward, they'll stay silent to keep it, right? Like imagine so many, it's crazy, like so many women, I'm talking about my mom's era, they stayed with abusive husbands because that's what they're supposed to do. Right?

And even if you bring on a story about your life to your Indian mama, she will never tell you to divorce your husband. No, or she will never tell you to leave him. No, why? Because they were not even able to do it. Why would they tell you? And I'm going to add a real funny story, not funny, but real story. When my mom contacted her mother or father, I, I would say father. Yeah, when my mom contacted my nana, And said that I cannot live with this man, you know, he's abusive, whatever.

Guess what? My grand, my grandpa, my nana told my mom. No, no, no, no, no, you cannot come to this house. You have to stay where you're at. You're married now. That's your house. Guess what my father told me when he was alive and I probably once complained about my relationship. Nope, that is your house now. Those are your mother-in-law and your father-in-law. That is your house. You take care of it.

So it's like for a girl, she feels like, wait, all my life my parents supported me. Got me education, helped me, and now I can't even go back. So she is stuck in the middle and then she ends up staying in her toxic environment because her own parents are not helping, you see what I'm saying? And that's a problem.

So girl, the only thing that makes sense is that you have to find yourself. And because I told you already, when women believe that marriage is their reward, they'll stay silent to keep it. They'll tolerate disrespect. My mom did, I did. They'll they'll make themselves small. They'll blame themselves when it gets hard. We usually feel we made a mistake and that's why we are getting this punishment, you know, that is a story that sometimes I would also think.

And they'll never question the deeper truth that the system isn't broken. It was built this way, and I'm gonna share something wrong with you. I know women, powerful, brilliant, and educated women who feel like failures because they're divorced, because they didn't make it work, because the fantasy fell apart. But what if leaving a toxic marriage is not failure?

What if that is your initiation? What if you're getting initiated into who you are becoming, the woman that you're supposed to become and awaken in this present time so that you can shine your light in the world.

And here's what they will never put in movies, the nights you cry alone after shrinking your dreams to fit someone else's ego. Or, you know, the confusion of loving someone who emotionally manipulates you. Or the rage of being told, you don't belong in your own family anymore because your real home is your in-laws.

Hey, that was my story and that was my mom's story. To me that is all fucking bullshit. Your real home is your husband's home? I'm sorry, but did I just lose my right to belong because I didn't marry a man or because I married and then walked away? No, you are your home. Your body is your home, your soul is your home. No one gets to relocate yourself of worth or your sense of worth.

And here's what I want to say to every woman who's been waiting for it to get better after marriage or who really wants to get married because she's single. No, it won't get better. It gets better when you stop outsourcing your power. It gets better when you stop believing that suffering is noble. And it gets better when you choose yourself.

And I want you to say this with me. I will not be rescued, I will be revealed. These are the affirmations actually I started telling myself on a daily basis, and that's what made me whole and complete. I'm not saying I'm perfect every day. I'm not saying I have happy moments all the time. No, I don't. I'm human. I do feel the suffering. I do feel the emotion, but I come, I'm, I come right back because I know the present moment is the time that is best for me right now.

So I want you to repeat these affirmations. Number one, I will not be rescued, I will be revealed. 2, marriage is not my upgrade, I am the upgrade. My worth is not conditional. I will not sacrifice my soul for a ceremony. I am not a daughter in law. I'm a daughter of the divine. And I do not wait to be chosen. I already belong to myself.

If this episode helped you in any way or it broke something open in you, let it, let the fantasy burn, let the old story crumble, and I want you to question it. Question sit with yourself. Why do I want to get married? Write it down. Why do I want a partner, write it down. And sometimes whatever you're writing down is what you need and that is not a person that actually what you need is within you.

And then I want you to come back to yourself, and I want you to take the healing archetype quiz at dimplebindra.com. It's completely free and find out what part of you has been trained to confuse love with sacrifice. You're not hard to love, you're just too awake to settle. I see you, I love you, and if you still feel like, no, there's something in me that really wants a man, contact me and let's talk.

I'll meet you in the next episode of the Dimple Bindra show. Always remember, metamorphosis, not medication, never say. If this episode spoke to you, then please give us a review on iTunes. I will really appreciate it and if you felt something, Shifting your chest or your gut, that's not just a podcast moment. That's your soul saying, hey, we are ready.

So head over to dimplebindra.com and take my healing archetype quiz. I'm also gonna add the link to my show notes. It's gonna help you understand the pattern that's been running your life. The one you didn't even know was there. And once you take the quiz, you'll see a button to join the waitlist for You Are Awakening. That's my Women's circle, and it's where we do this work together with other amazing sisters. You don't have to heal in silence anymore. I'm so glad you're here, and I'll see you in the next episode. Bye.