0:00: Hey, welcome to another episode of the Dimple Bendra show.
0:03: This podcast actually started as a video, but I dropped it here because it needed to be live as a podcast on the internet.
0:12: So stick with me till the end, and if you have been enjoying these episodes, please leave us a review wherever you're listening from.
0:20: It really means the world to us and helps more women find the space.
0:25: So, stick around.
0:43: Feel after being cheated on, they just behave better.
0:48: The riakas.
0:50: Bringing things up.
0:52: The says, see, she's doing so much better now.
0:57: They are disconnected If you have been doing better but don't feel alive.
1:05: But flat.
1:07: Anymore, but you're also not fully here, then this video is not for you if you think healing means being pleasant and quiet.
1:17: If you have been doing better but don't feel alive, if you're functional but you're feeling flat, and if you're not crying anymore, but you're also not fully here.
1:29: For you, if you think healing means being pleasant and quiet, that's not healing, that's just containment.
1:37: Dimplebindra, I work with women after betrayal, and behaving better is not the same as healing.
1:44: Healing doesn't make you easier to be around, it makes you more honest, and behavior makes you manageable, but healing makes it real for you.
1:55: And here's the most uncomfortable part.
1:58: A lot of women mistake numbness for peace.
2:04: You just stop fighting and you stop asking questions, not because there is less conflict.
2:11: Everyone assumes that you're healed, but inside you have checked out.
2:16: You don't feel excited, you don't feel angry.
2:19: You don't even feel connected to your own instincts.
2:23: And that is not that you're growing, you are disconnecting.
2:28: If you don't want to disappear, just to keep things calm, then subscribe.
2:33: This channel is for women who want to get their full range back.
2:38: That's how you tell the difference between behaving, And healing.
2:44: For you.
2:45: Take some notes, I'm gonna give you 3 steps, and I want you to really pay attention so that you can heal this.
2:53: Healing makes you more truthful, not quieter.
2:57: If you're quieter than you used to be, something is off, because that is what most women do.
3:06: They start shutting down, they start feeling like, Feel numb on the inside, they feel like they don't need to explain anything anymore.
3:15: So if you feel that way, if you feel that that that's what's going on with you, I encourage you to actually be more open about how you feel with your friends, your family.
3:25: I'm not talking about being more open with your betrayer.
3:30: Well, that's another thing too, you need to be more vocal there, but what I'm saying is, Found something is not right, it means that you are not being your authentic self, and it also means that you're probably just numbing yourself.
3:43: Makes sense?
3:44: So here is what I want you to also understand, what's really happening with you.
3:50: Feeling feels uncomfortable before it feels steady.
3:55: Flat is not peaceful.
3:57: Flat doesn't mean you shut something down, right?
4:01: So, most women, they feel flat.
4:04: And they feel like, I'm good, yeah, he did what he did, but then they are not really living their lives, they're not thriving in their careers, they have no emotions anymore.
4:15: Sometimes they cry, but then they're hiding themselves when they're crying.
4:18: So typically you're feeling flat in front of people, you're not really feeling your emotions.
4:24: I gave you earlier, they are basically the steps that tell you the difference between behaving and healing, right?
4:31: So.
4:34: I'm gonna tell you based on the two steps.
4:36: You have to start being yourself, which means whatever you're on the inside needs to show up on the outside.
4:43: You feel angry on the inside, you need to be vocal, you need to express your anger.
4:47: You're sad on the inside, you need to express your sadness on the outside, whether it's crying, whether it's journaling, right?
4:54: And there are different ways and I break it down exactly what to do when you're feeling these things in my upcoming book, The Betrayal, but if you really feel like this is something that you're feeling at the moment and you can't come out of it, then I do encourage you to just keep watching this video till the end so that you know what to do when you're feeling these things, right?
5:13: So, step one, step two simply means you gotta be your authentic self.
5:19: Healing gives you a choice again.
5:21: You're not automatically agreeing.
5:24: You're not automatically staying silent.
5:28: That because now you have been betrayed by somebody else, an external authority, right, that you trusted, whomever that person is, healing is giving you another choice, and the choice is, the choices you have to now be your best version out there.
5:46: I will say that is the best choice that you have, because there are millions of women out there in the world that were betrayed, and they all had a choice.
5:56: The choice was either keep thinking about the betrayer, keep numbing their body, keep freezing their emotions, or really speaking their truth, being their authentic self, working on their dreams, working on their goals, but none of that is possible if you don't even know what's going on within you, right?
6:13: Once you know what's going on within you, then you can go ahead and do those things.
6:17: On the flip side, that's why a lot of women cannot really come out of betrayal, and they are stuck with it, and I have clients, aged 70, age 80 that have been betrayed in the past by their husbands, and they're still stuck in that.
6:31: cycle.
6:32: So imagine, right?
6:33: I don't, I don't want you to be that woman.
6:35: I rather want you, no matter what your age is, so I rather want you to be that woman who can actually decide.
6:41: I want to heal my body.
6:43: I want to understand what's going on with me so that I can come out of this.
6:48: So before the betrayal happened with me, I was obviously a very nice person, greeting the betrayer, hello, good morning, good evening, but after that, I was like, nope, zip it.
7:00: I don't need to say good morning to you, I don't need to say hi to you, I don't need to say bye to you.
7:04: I'm just being me, I don't feel like looking at you, I'm not gonna look at you, I'm just gonna look somewhere else, makes sense?
7:08: That's, who I became.
7:09: Why?
7:10: Because that was me.
7:11: I did not even want to see the face of that person.
7:13: Makes sense?
7:14: That was the authentic anger showing up for me.
7:16: So that's what I chose.
7:17: I chose, chose not to look at the other person.
7:21: That was a choice that I made.
7:23: So you also have a choice, and sometimes in healing, that's a choice.
7:28: It doesn't make you a bad woman.
7:29: It doesn't make you less compassionate, it doesn't make you less empathetic.
7:34: It makes you who you are, because you need to be that woman in the beginning stages, right after the betrayal happened with you.
7:44: Why?
7:45: Because your body is not in a stabilized position.
7:50: Your body is literally in danger.
7:53: Makes sense?
7:54: This is what's happening in the nervous system.
7:55: It's always, it's always feeling this, right?
7:57: I'm doing this so that you can see me.
7:59: It's literally moving, moving, moving, it's shaking on the inside.
8:01: It has high anxiety, it has anger, it has lots of emotions coming up.
8:07: So, what do you do?
8:08: You be yourself, you allow it to come through you so that you can actually work on your healing.
8:15: So if you have been praised for being so calm while also feeling empty, then please leave a comment.
8:21: You are not broken.
8:23: Healing does not erase anger, it puts it back in the right place.
8:28: And that's why I actually started the betrayal session, which simply means, so, so it's two different things.
8:34: We have the betrayal emergency sessions, and I'm writing a book called The Betrayal.
8:39: which is not done yet, but hopefully, you will be able to read it one day.
8:43: So, if you really feel like you need help because something is not right, you don't feel yourself, you don't understand what's going on with you, link is below and check it out and do subscribe to my channel.
8:56: If you just got cheated on or you have been through a betrayal, you don't have to do it alone.
9:02: You can book a betrayal.
9:04: session with me, and the link is in the show notes.
9:07: And if this podcast has been supporting you, please leave a review wherever you're listening.
9:12: It helps more women find this.
9:15: And if you know a friend or a sister who needs this right now, then go ahead and send her this episode.
9:22: And always remember, you are awakening.
9:26: See you in the next podcast.
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