Ep 124: You Are Allowed To Leave After Betrayal with Ruchi Om

You’re not crazy for wanting to leave.
You’re not weak for staying.
But you are allowed to choose yourself.

In this episode of The Dimple Bindra Show, we explore one of the most difficult truths women face after betrayal - why it’s so hard to leave, even when you know something is wrong.

Because when betrayal happens, the focus often shifts to you:
 How you should react.
 How you should forgive.
 How you should “keep it together.” 

Instead of what actually happened to you.

Joined by mental wellness advocate Ruchi Om, this conversation goes deep into the emotional, cultural, and psychological patterns that keep women stuck.

We talk about:

•  Why women stay after betrayal (even when they know they should leave) 
•  Cultural conditioning and the pressure to “adjust” and “forgive” 
•  How self-betrayal happens before external betrayal 
•  Why women blame themselves instead of the situation 
•  Signs that staying is doing more damage than leaving 
•  The emotional shock, numbness, and confusion after betrayal 
•  What it actually takes to rebuild your life after leaving 

This episode is not about telling you to leave.
 It’s about helping you understand what’s really keeping you stuck - so you can make a decision from clarity, not fear.

Follow Ruchi Om Here!

✨ Not sure why you keep choosing pain over peace?
 Take the free WHY YOU GOT BETRAYED QUIZ and uncover the pattern you didn’t even know was holding you back.

If you can’t eat, can’t sleep, and keep replaying the betrayal in your head, this book was written for this exact moment. Get Betrayal ER™ on Amazon.

🆘 Betrayal ER™ : Free 20-Minute Emergency Support Call
A private, confidential space for women in the first shock after cheating or emotional betrayal. This is not therapy or legal advice. It’s emotional first-aid for the moment betrayal hits.

Betrayal ER™ | 1:1 Support Session
If betrayal just happened and everything feels like too much.
A confidential space to slow things down and regain your voice.
Book your session through the link.

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Transcript

0:15: So we are told not to leave, we are told to stay, and we are also told to just adjust, to forgive, even when something inside us feels completely off. 
 0:30: And when betrayal happens, somehow the focus shifts to what you should fix and how you should react and how you should keep it together instead of what actually happened to you. 
 0:44: And the moment you even think about walking away, you are made to feel like you are overreacting. 
 0:52: Or giving up too soon, you need to stay. 
 0:56: What are people gonna say and all that bullshit. 
 1:00: So today, we're talking about something a lot of women quietly struggle with, that you're allowed to leave after betrayal, even if it doesn't make sense to anyone else. 
 1:15: And to have this conversation with me. 
 1:17: I am joined by Ruchi Om. 
 1:20: She is a mental wellness advocate and the voice behind the Mind Talk, who focuses on emotional resilience and self-worth, helping people rebuild themselves after feeling stuck or disconnected through work that's grounded in lived experience. 
 1:38: Ruchi, I want to start with you first. 
 1:40: Welcome to the Dimplebindra show. 
 1:42: Thank you. 
 1:44: And Ruchi is in Hong Kong at the moment, and I would love to know your story on when you moved from India to Hong Kong was because we chatted offline. 
 1:54: I know that's a big life shift, and I need to know what was like the transition like for you, not just externally, but also internally. 
 2:03: So externally, I just had a baby a few months ago, and we'd bought this beautiful big penthouse to live in. 
 2:11: I'd gotten it all made up and then the opportunity to move to Hong Kong came for my husband. 
 2:16: And I was not too keen on that, because I'm a very India kind of a person, a family kind of a person, and I didn't want to leave all that behind. 
 2:26: But finally, when I saw that that's what he wanted, I was OK to move. 
 2:31: And I'm a kind of a, let's not cry, dust it off, and let's pick yourself and start fresh kind of a girl. 
 2:39: So, I don't think I really sat at that time with what I went through. 
 2:44: I was just like, I don't like going there. 
 2:47: I'll be there for a year, and we'll all move back. 
 2:49: That's not happened. 
 2:50: I'm here for almost 20 years now. 
 2:52: Oh my God, wow. 
 2:54: 20 years, but, yeah, but then I'm that kind of a person. 
 2:58: I, I immediately found friends, I found things to do, and, I was not the kind of person to sit with emotions. 
 3:07: Interesting. 
 3:08: Tell me more. 
 3:09: Yeah, so I can't tell you what happened internally. 
 3:12: What happened externally was, I was in Hong Kong. 
 3:15: I would, you know, every day when my husband went to office, I would pick up the stroller, pick up my baby, get on the MTR and go and explore a new place in Hong Kong. 
 3:25: And that's how I kept myself occupied until I got a job in teaching English. 
 3:32: I didn't really enjoy doing that. 
 3:34: So I quit after a year. 
 3:36: And then I stayed at home, started, you know, hosting parties like being the Thai Thai, being the perfect housewife. 
 3:43: Yeah. 
 3:44: Oh, wow, interesting. 
 3:46: So tell me the story behind you're the founder of the Mind Talk in Hong Kong. 
 3:52: What was happening in your own life that led you to actually start the Mind Talk after you moved to Hong Kong? 
 3:58: Like, I'm sure there was a gap in between a couple of years you were exploring. 
 4:02: Yeah, so tell me, why did you start it? 
 4:05: So as I said, I, I, I, I was not the kind of person to sit with my emotions, and I think that's always a recipe for disaster, because you don't know what is happening internally. 
 4:17: You don't, you're not connected with yourself. 
 4:20: So oftentimes, you go about living your life. 
 4:24: Just doing what has been taught to you, what is the right thing to do. 
 4:29: I actually had told my mom that I don't want to move to Hong Kong, I want to be in India, I want to be here, and she's like, well, if that's what he wants, then you should go and, you know, you're not working, so your job is to be the stay at home mom and be the wife and do everything correctly. 
 4:44: And that's what I've been raised to do. 
 4:49: So I remember my father always saying, I know she has a great career, but how is she at home? 
 4:56: Hm, so your father, your father saw it, but your mum didn't. 
 5:01: Yeah, both of them, you know, like, it's great to have a, a good career and everything for a woman, but how are you managing the house? 
 5:08: So that's the script I grew up with. 
 5:12: So when I moved here, Although I didn't really enjoy not being with my family, and India is a different, ball game altogether, right? 
 5:22: Just paying an electric bill, that can be, that used to be like a whole day job for you. 
 5:27: But Hong Kong is so easy. 
 5:30: Hong Kong just makes life easy and then you have so much freedom and so much space. 
 5:34: What, how do you fill up the time? 
 5:37: So, I continued with my life, finding a job was difficult. 
 5:43: In India, I was running a school and I came here to do one odd job here and there that didn't help. 
 5:49: And over time, all of that started building up. 
 5:53: And as my children started to grow up, they're growing up in Hong Kong, and I was bringing the culture of my parents, of my parent father who was from a small town, to my kids in Hong Kong who are growing up in this international setup. 
 6:09: So while there were some values that were shared with my kids, some of the things they didn't enjoy, they, they didn't appreciate it because they have not grown up like that. 
 6:20: And finally, I did find a job. 
 6:22: I was enjoying it, but the company shut down. 
 6:26: And then I was really left with a vacuum. 
 6:29: And one thing led to another, and I found myself that I'm burnt out being a parent. 
 6:36: I, because that's not who I am. 
 6:38: I don't enjoy being a full-time parent. 
 6:41: I felt like doing the job was not just for the money, but it was for my self-worth, and it gave my brain a purpose through the day. 
 6:50: Yeah. 
 6:51: So I started spending a lot of my time waking up in the morning, sitting on the couch the whole day till my kids got home, watching TV, dusted myself up, and moved on. 
 7:03: And this just became a routine. 
 7:05: At the same time, I was great at keeping appearances, because that's what I learned as a child. 
 7:11: To this world, you are always keeping appearances. 
 7:14: You don't share how you feel. 
 7:15: And as I said, I don't dwell too much. 
 7:18: I didn't dwell too much on the internal aspect of things. 
 7:22: So I caught up with all that. 
 7:24: And then finally, when my daughter turned 1617, we started having a lot of friction. 
 7:31: And I wanted her to go into therapy and see what's wrong with her. 
 7:36: Because she's got such a great mom, right? 
 7:38: I gave up my career. 
 7:39: I stayed at home. 
 7:40: I host dinner parties. 
 7:42: I'm great at tennis. 
 7:43: I do everything perfectly. 
 7:45: So it must be something wrong with you. 
 7:47: She refused to go, and then my sister suggested, why don't you go into therapy? 
 7:53: Because I was like, I'll take it up as a challenge. 
 7:55: I'll go into therapy and, you know, that can be proved once and for all that I'm the best. 
 7:59: Things started coming out in therapy. 
 8:01: The parts of me that I didn't connect with, eventually. 
 8:06: I had to face them. 
 8:08: And for people who know how psychotherapy works, it's downhill before you can start seeing the light. 
 8:17: It's really meeting every part of yourself that you've refused to look at. 
 8:26: But I did come out of my depression and grief, which I didn't realize I was depressed. 
 8:30: I used to wonder, why do I keep crying all the time? 
 8:33: Everything is going really well. 
 8:35: Why am I so sad all the time? 
 8:37: But now that I'm on the other side, and now I'm in touch with my emotions, there are times when I feel down, even today, for all the time that I feel like I lost, I will sit that day and I'll sit with my emotions. 
 8:53: So, That was the reason behind the Mind talk. 
 8:57: Let's not wait till, you know, you're in depression. 
 8:59: Let's figure a way out to stay aligned with every aspect of who you are. 
 9:06: I love that. 
 9:07: I love that. 
 9:08: That that's a beautiful story why you even started it. 
 9:11: So, we'll move into the topic of, it's OK for a woman to leave after betrayal. 
 9:18: And I feel like a lot of women know they have been betrayed, but they still stay, right? 
 9:23: Like you said, you didn't even feel like coming to Hong Kong. 
 9:27: Like that was a part of, you know, your soul is telling you something. 
 9:31: And so, I just want to know from you in, in general, why do you think this happens, where women know they haven't betrayed, but they'll, but they'll still stay. 
 9:42: One, I think you already answered it. 
 9:44: Conditioning is one. 
 9:46: What else do you think? 
 9:48: First, I think it's important to see that betrayal doesn't even have, doesn't happen only in couples. 
 9:55: Betrayal can take place even in friendships, right? 
 9:59: Betrayal could take place even in families, right? 
 10:05: So it's important to first see betrayal as that. 
 10:08: Most of the time, we only think about betrayal when it happens between a husband and a wife, and that becomes really difficult because, yes, the cultural conditioning, the lives, the family scripts that we work with. 
 10:23: At the same time, we want, as women, we want to make things work. 
 10:28: And that's a generalized statement. 
 10:29: I do appreciate that. 
 10:31: But what I see a lot with around women, and I've spoken to a lot of women, Everyone wants to make things work, but a relationship requires, has two people in it. 
 10:43: Oh, yes, I totally agree. 
 10:46: Yeah, the woman cannot do it alone. 
 10:49: Mhm. 
 10:49: Right. 
 10:49: And it's the same thing with the man, right? 
 10:51: Even if a man wants to has faced betrayal and wants to do it, it requires to, to tango. 
 10:59: It requires having difficult conversations. 
 11:02: So, if you have tried all that, and if you are against a wall, it's OK to leave. 
 11:10: Take a step back and think for yourself, have I really done everything? 
 11:15: Have I, am I willing to have difficult conversations? 
 11:19: Or am I thinking of leaving because I'm too scared to be vulnerable. 
 11:26: I'm too scared to face my own internal, landscape that I'm not comfortable with. 
 11:31: Yeah, and I think, yeah, we'll definitely towards the end of the podcast, like we will definitely find, like, give real tips to our audience. 
 11:38: That's something that you said that, you know, it takes two to tango, it's not just one person. 
 11:43: What do you think betrayal actually does to a woman, emotionally and mentally, and you work with women and you have started the mind talk, especially in those first few days after everything just hits. 
 11:56: I think a lot of women first face numbness. 
 12:01: The women I've spoken to have told me, I just sat down. 
 12:05: I, I just felt numb. 
 12:08: And I think that is also us processing what just happened. 
 12:12: Yeah. 
 12:13: Just, it's, it's like a shock, right? 
 12:16: It is something that you're, yeah, something that you're invested in, something that's supposed to be lifelong, and then you're faced with this. 
 12:26: Part of this person that you didn't want to see, you don't want to see, you don't even want to acknowledge it's there. 
 12:32: That's a shock. 
 12:33: So the first reaction could be numbness, just sitting there with what happened. 
 12:37: But the important thing is to just stay there for a while and address that there is numbness. 
 12:44: Basically acknowledging the fact that something just hit you, you know. 
 12:49: So, why do you also, I should say, why do you think so many women, even other women, they start questioning themselves instead of the situation, like when I speak to women and they got betrayed and they call me, like the initial days, they will just start questioning, is it me? 
 13:07: Was it me? 
 13:08: Is it my fault, even though the other person has done whatever? 
 13:12: What do you think in your opinion, when you work with them, even when something clearly feels, Wrong, the woman will still question herself and think that it's her fault. 
 13:25: Aren't we, aren't women raised, and I can say this because I've seen growing up a lot of women in India, aren't we raised to adjust? 
 13:38: Yeah. 
 13:39: Oh God, don't even get me started. 
 13:41: I get very upset, you know, when things like this, I hear these things, I get so upset because I feel like in India, especially because I'm not from India, I'm from the Middle East. 
 13:51: But Indian parents, and then I see my mom and I'm like, Mom, it's clear that what dad is doing to you, you know, but still, no, no, no, it's OK. 
 14:01: No worries, you know, then, and I feel like so, so many women are just conditioned to shut their mouth, not do anything, right? 
 14:10: And you're, and you're right. 
 14:11: So please go on, adjustment. 
 14:13: Yes, that is something we're told. 
 14:16: Adjustment and. 
 14:17: To keep the peace, you know, we've been taught to keep the peace a lot. 
 14:22: And I, I don't like this tag nurturing, which is associated to women. 
 14:28: Nurturing is an aspect of, Everyone, like a man can be nurturing, a woman can be nurturing, it's just whether you're taught to be nurturing. 
 14:40: So I always look at myself and I say that, I'm a great parent, but I can't go coochie coo coochie coo, you know, with a baby. 
 14:48: That's not, that's not how my nurturing shows. 
 14:51: My nurturing shows in honest conversations and, you know, holding the space for someone, and that is what nurturing is, playing small, keeping quiet, making adjustments, keeping the peace. 
 15:06: Those things are actually taught to women, and we've grown up, and we've grown up seeing our mothers do it. 
 15:13: So that's been, normalized for us. 
 15:17: So Imagine when you are being betrayed, and you now have to find that inner strength. 
 15:23: Where are the role models? 
 15:26: Exactly. 
 15:26: And it's funny. 
 15:27: I don't think I've said this. 
 15:28: Maybe I've said this, but I've written this in my book. 
 15:31: When I was betrayed, I actually called my mom. 
 15:34: But the biggest mistake I made, first of all, do not make this mistake. 
 15:37: Do not call a family member when you've been betrayed, because what does your mom tell you? 
 15:42: Oh, stay, stay with him. 
 15:45: Give him a chance. 
 15:47: Stay with him for a few months and maybe this guy will change. 
 15:49: I'm like, OK, and at that time, you're, you know, you're not. 
 15:54: Ready in your head to make a decision. 
 15:56: So you just fall back on your parents or you fall back on someone who knows what they're saying, you think is the right advice, but it's the wrong advice. 
 16:04: It's totally the wrong advice. 
 16:05: So, OK, I would love for you to answer this because you're from India and I love you to say this from an Indian, Asian perspective, and you're in Hong Kong, so let's call it Asian because this happens even in Asian, like in Hong Kong when I've spoken to some women there. 
 16:20: There's also this pressure to forgive or to make it work. 
 16:25: Where do you think that conditioning comes from? 
 16:29: To forgive or to make it work. 
 16:31: As I said, it takes two people in the relationship. 
 16:35: And I will actually give you an incident that happened to me. 
 16:40: I actually had a friction with someone, not a friend, just a random person. 
 16:47: And it really had an impact on me. 
 16:50: And there was so much pressure on me to forgive that person. 
 16:55: When I was not ready. 
 16:57: So forgiveness can't be a quick thing. 
 17:02: Correct? 
 17:03: Forgiveness comes when the healing has happened, when you've sat with it, when you've addressed it. 
 17:10: So, I am not a big fan of saying, OK, but forgive, forgive that person. 
 17:18: Once you heal, you will start looking at the whole situation differently. 
 17:23: You'll start looking at, how did I play in this situ, what was my role in this situation? 
 17:30: Right? 
 17:31: What, what just happened here? 
 17:33: Is the other person willing to make amends, learn from it, take accountability, and move forward? 
 17:41: OK, what do I need right now? 
 17:44: How much time do I need to heal? 
 17:46: Maybe a year. 
 17:48: Maybe 3 years, maybe this is not, I, I can't even think that. 
 17:52: So let's, I'm not a big fan when people say, OK, forgive. 
 17:57: Correct? 
 17:58: You can't. 
 17:59: First of all, you can't. 
 18:00: Yeah, they're just today, I think, or yesterday, I was speaking to like a, like a woman whose husband passed away already. 
 18:08: She's still grieving, but then today she opens up after like months of coaching that her husband actually cheated on her. 
 18:17: So, and then she got really worked up and angry as she's just talking. 
 18:21: Husband has passed away a year ago, but she still has that grief. 
 18:25: You know, and then today she's opening up about he actually cheated on her, and she got so angry and I'm like, interesting, betrayal stays in your body, right? 
 18:34: So, and, Imagine all her family was telling her the same thing, forgive your husband, forgive your husband. 
 18:41: And she's like here screaming on the phone, and she's like, how can I forgive? 
 18:46: He did this to me with my best friend, and, you know, she's all, she's all worked up, and it's so hard, and you're right, we just can't forgive because it takes time. 
 18:56: It is important to forgive. 
 18:58: I must also say that it is important to forgive. 
 19:01: For your own well-being. 
 19:02: I mean, why would you want to carry the luggage of someone else's choices, right? 
 19:08: At the same time, let's not rush into forgiving. 
 19:12: Let's process what we need first. 
 19:14: Let's process what's happening to us first, right? 
 19:19: And when someone betrays you, it also betrays the image you had of that person. 
 19:26: The values that were placed on that relationship, and the perception you had of your relationship. 
 19:33: So it's not just, I was betrayed. 
 19:36: It was more like, oh, OK, so something that I held so dearly, something that I viewed differently, something that had a special place in my life. 
 19:48: That's cracking, or that's gone. 
 19:51: That needs healing, that does not need forgivance like this. 
 19:56: Yeah, and something's just that's just coming to my mind right now. 
 19:59: I just want to like bring this out and I would love to know your perspective, you know, women usually just think like, OK, betrayal is just infidelity, like you talked about, but sometimes it can also be that you expect your partner to do a certain role, let's say parenting. 
 20:14: And you thought parenting will be two people taking care of the child together, but then women end up doing all the work and the all, all the parenting. 
 20:25: Like I have one client right now, she has 4 kids, husband is an alcoholic. 
 20:31: Husband does not take care of the kids, she has to go to work, she has to take care of, and I'm like, interesting, that's also betrayal from the partner, because you have 4 kids, you're supposed to do parenting together, but now the roles, it's all on her. 
 20:45: What do you, what do you want to say about that? 
 20:48: What's your thoughts on that? 
 20:49: I find it really amusing when women say, I mean, the, the person you just mentioned, that's a different case altogether. 
 20:57: But even in day to day life, I find it very amusing when women say, oh, you know, my husband is just not good at taking care of the children. 
 21:07: That's basic adulting, that's basic parenting, taking care of the children. 
 21:12: And why are we so proud of the fact that I'm doing everything, right? 
 21:19: Why do we, why do we put such high standards and expectations on the self? 
 21:26: While we are willing to allow the husband. 
 21:31: To not be a full-time parent or not be there as a partner in the parenting process. 
 21:38: Once again, a relationship is two people coming together. 
 21:42: Having children is a joint decision. 
 21:46: And making these statements, oh my God, I do everything. 
 21:50: Oh, you know, husbands, they just can't look after the kids the way we can. 
 21:54: Why not? 
 21:56: That's also, of course, got to do with conditioning and everything, but it's a decision, it's a choice. 
 22:03: And I believe that every day we are making choices. 
 22:06: So when women say that, oh, you know, I do everything around her, it's a choice you are making. 
 22:11: I actually feel that is also part of, of course, conditioning and then self abandonment. 
 22:19: The woman does not, you know, she just feels like she's, she's abandoning herself for so long, she doesn't even realize it, and she puts it all on her, and I think that is one of the reasons that so many women get betrayed, because they're self betraying themselves all along until the partner betrays them, and then it's a shock to their system, you know. 
 22:41: Yeah. 
 22:42: What about if you can tell us a little bit about like some signs that staying is doing more damage than leaving the relationship? 
 22:52: What have you seen in your career? 
 22:54: More than my career, because my career is just starting off. 
 22:57: I, but I've seen that around me. 
 23:00: You know, when, when I, when I went into therapy and when I started, Acknowledging the person I am, asking for what I need, taking the space, all of that. 
 23:11: One thing that I saw changes, I was looking forward to the mornings, like I couldn't wait for my day to begin, and. 
 23:21: I, I might be just cleaning the house that day, you know, but I'm enjoying that task. 
 23:27: And this is not to create that, feeling that, oh, everything is positive and there are rainbows and everything. 
 23:36: But there is a joy and, Intrinsic joy and happiness that I started to feel. 
 23:45: And that was a choice I was making by having difficult conversations. 
 23:50: What are some signs that staying is doing more damage than leaving? 
 23:56: And you're saying when you worked on yourself, you actually felt great when you woke up, right? 
 24:00: So that simply means that when you do not work on yourself or any woman who is staying in a crazy relationship, she's not looking forward to the next day. 
 24:10: Yeah. 
 24:10: And are you getting triggered easily? 
 24:13: Because something else is piling up, which you're not addressing. 
 24:17: So it shows up in areas where you, you feel like you have the space to address it. 
 24:23: Like you, you have the space to get triggered, you have to place to space to get upset and angry, and that comes out in areas where it's not needed to come out, because what needs to be addressed is not getting addressed. 
 24:36: That's right. 
 24:37: That's right. 
 24:37: Yeah, I usually tell my, Outlines that if you're living with the betrayer, you might as well live separately first so that you can work on your healing and you can see what's really getting you triggered. 
 24:48: So that's, you know, so that's one of the perfect advice that staying when you're staying with someone like that or you're seeing them if they're a coworker, if you keep seeing them over and over again, your body is recreating that anger and that and it takes work to choose yourself, right? 
 25:04: Exactly. 
 25:06: It takes work to choose yourself, and I think what you said is beautiful, like, stay separately for a while, because that will actually help you connect with who you are. 
 25:17: Let's not even look at the other right now, because when you stay separately, You start seeing, how do I want to want the bed to be made? 
 25:26: Yeah. 
 25:27: Where do I want to sit and have lunch or dinner? 
 25:30: You know, these are really small things, and they sound like nothing, but they are. 
 25:36: They are so important. 
 25:37: That is you being reintroduced to yourself without any advice, without any need to be someone else, without being in the, without having the need to be in a certain role, just being yourself. 
 25:50: So I, I actually like that advice. 
 25:53: Totally, yeah, live separately, and I would say, even for women who, you know, constantly cook and clean and do all that chores for their partner. 
 26:03: When you live separately, guess what? 
 26:05: You're only doing it for yourself, and it's a blessing. 
 26:08: You're like, oh, thank God today I don't have to make dinner for someone else, you know, it's only for you. 
 26:13: So I think that's another tip also, but hey, you're the expert today, it's not me, but I would love to know from you now, let's talk about what would you say to a woman who knows that she should leave? 
 26:26: But she, she just cannot bring herself to do it yet. 
 26:29: What's stopping you? 
 26:31: What is, what do I, I love the way I start journaling. 
 26:36: Actually, I am a big advocate of journaling. 
 26:39: So the way I start journaling most days when I'm feeling low, is what do I need today? 
 26:48: Hm. 
 26:48: I love that. 
 26:49: What do I need today? 
 26:51: What do I need today? 
 26:52: And if more and more of your journaling pattern says I need time for myself, I feel like I want to go away on a trip. 
 27:03: I feel like I just want to hide under the, the blanket, you know, some things like that, things that show that you don't want to step into who you are. 
 27:13: You don't want to step into your power. 
 27:16: Then, and if more and more of your answers to what do I need today is to hide, then maybe take that opportunity and think, what are you hiding from? 
 27:28: Mhm. 
 27:29: That's, that's very cool. 
 27:31: So, basically, the woman who's staying, obviously she is hiding from something. 
 27:37: Hiding from could be judgment, could be the grief of ending a relationship. 
 27:43: Yeah. 
 27:44: Right? 
 27:45: It's, it, and you know, these, it's so easy to, for me to sit in a podcast and say that if you need to leave, leave. 
 27:55: But these things are so real. 
 27:58: And they are so heavy emotionally. 
 28:01: Oh yeah. 
 28:02: It's like, I knew in 2023 I had to leave and guess when I left in 2025. 
 28:06: It took me two years to leave, you know, despite the fact that I was working with women and despite the fact that I was, you know, cause sometimes I think as women, we are also trauma bonded to the abuser. 
 28:19: And, you know, there were multiple reasons. 
 28:21: It could be conditioning, it could be a trauma bonded, it could be, you're just such a good soul that you feel like, He's gonna change one day, he will change, and they never change if they don't want to, you know. 
 28:34: So in my case, it took me 2 years, so I cannot now, I understand, I can never tell a woman, leave, and I never say. 
 28:41: I say, here are the things you need to do, and then eventually, when the time is right or you feel it from within, this is it, like you will know it. 
 28:49: And when you walk away, it's like a strength that you'll feel within yourself, you know. 
 28:55: Yeah, when you walk away. 
 28:56: So, I know we're almost coming to an end, but I would love for you to share about. 
 29:02: What does it actually look like for a woman when she wants to start rebuilding her life after she finally chooses to leave? 
 29:14: In one sentence, it looks like a lot of work. 
 29:18: In one sentence, it looks like a lot of work. 
 29:21: But what the work that you're doing is actually reconnecting with yourself. 
 29:27: It's actually saying, hello, this is me. 
 29:31: Tell me who you, who I am. 
 29:33: Tell me what my values are. 
 29:36: Tell me what I stand for. 
 29:37: Tell me what I like, because so many times within the family or within friendships and all, we do keep a part of ourselves aside to make the other person happy and because that gives us joy. 
 29:50: But once you move out, it's you that you're building a relationship with. 
 29:57: You know, you are the other and you are the self, and you are connecting the both of them together. 
 30:03: And for that, it's important to take time for yourself. 
 30:08: Have moments of time when you're just sitting with yourself, and those can be the most uncomfortable times, because they can be emotionally heavy. 
 30:17: Yes. 
 30:18: Find people who will just be there for you. 
 30:22: No advice giving, no judgment, and coming back to it, absolutely no advice giving, because nobody knows what the other person needs. 
 30:34: Correct. 
 30:35: Right? 
 30:36: Only you know your internal makeup and what you need right now. 
 30:40: So, yes, when you move out, things are going to be difficult, but they're going to be difficult because you're doing the work to meet yourself again. 
 30:50: Absolutely, and I am a real example, have left a relationship, and I'm super excited and happy about my new life. 
 30:57: And so thank you so much, Ruchi. 
 30:58: This was a wonderful conversation that we had with you. 
 31:02: I would love for you to tell our audience, where can they find you. 
 31:06: I think right now you can find me on the Mind Talk, Hong Kong, which is Hong Kong's premier mental health and wellness magazine. 
 31:14: And we have started conducting circles for meditation because that's one way how I started staying connected with my emotions. 
 31:24: And I have a lot of faith in the power of meditation. 
 31:29: So, find me on the Mind Talk. 
 31:32: Perfect. 
 31:32: And I will definitely add her information onto our show notes. 
 31:36: So please do check it out. 
 31:38: Thank you so much, Ruchi. 
 31:40: Thank you so much. 
 31:41: And for all of our listeners, always remember, you are awakening. 
 31:46: See you in the next podcast. 
 31:48: If you just got cheated on or you have been through a betrayal, you don't have to do it alone. 
 31:54: You can book a betrayal session with me, and the link is in the show notes. 
 31:58: And if this podcast has been supporting you, please leave a review wherever you're listening. 
 32:03: It helps more women find this. 
 32:06: And if you know a friend or a sister who needs this right now, then go ahead and send her this episode. 
 32:13: And always remember, you are awakening. 
 32:17: See you in the next podcast.