Money Mom Podcast
Welcome to The Money Mom Podcast—the ultimate guide for moms who want to take control of their finances, crush debt, and create a life of financial freedom and abundance. Hosted by Rachel Coons, a budgeting expert and mom of three, this podcast is your go-to resource for practical tips, mindset shifts, and empowering strategies to help you manage your money with confidence.
Whether you’re navigating grocery budgets, tackling debt, or dreaming of building wealth for your family, each episode offers bite-sized, actionable advice to make money management simple, stress-free, and even enjoyable. With relatable stories, expert insights, and a dose of mom-to-mom encouragement, you'll learn how to transform your finances—one small step at a time.
Tune in every week to discover how to save more, spend smarter, and feel empowered to create the financial life you deserve. Because when moms thrive financially, families flourish.
Money Mom Podcast
34: Picky Eating 101 with Alyssa Miller
Ever found yourself exasperated at the dinner table, wondering how to coax your child into trying something new? Our guest, Alyssa Miller of @nutrition.for.littles, a seasoned registered dietitian and picky eating specialist, reveals secrets for navigating the often challenging landscape of picky eating.
We'll explore the root causes behind stubborn eating habits and provide actionable advice on how to influence positive change. Alyssa and I discuss strategies to introduce new foods without pressure, fostering a supportive environment where children can develop healthy, intuitive eating habits. It’s never too late to reshape a child’s eating patterns!
Check out Alyssa's free workshop
Find Alyssa on Instagram @nutrition.for.littles
xoxo,
Rachel
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Hello, welcome back to the hey Rachel Kuhns podcast. Today I have a very special guest, a dear friend of mine who also has helped me a ton, and so I wanted to bring her onto the podcast to share what she does and a little bit more about how she helps families, specifically with picky eating. So, alyssa, can you welcome and introduce yourself, tell us how you, what you do, what you do and all the things.
Speaker 2:Of course. Thanks so much for having me, rachel. I am such a big fan of everything that you do, so I'm so happy to be here. Yeah, so I am a registered dietitian, mom to three children which feels like a million children sometimes and a picky eating specialist. And I wasn't always a picky eating specialist. I, of course, had my own run-ins with picky eating.
Speaker 2:I learned all about picky eating and feeding toddlers in school, got an A on the test, felt really confident, spent about like two weeks learning about babies and toddlers and young kids and was like I got this, no problem. Then I actually had kids of my own, of course my son, who, as a baby, ate everything, like literally I could put anything in front of him. I thought I figured it out, like I was like I have this on lock, you're welcome, like I nailed it. And then all of a sudden he became a toddler and was like I'm not going to eat that. And I was like what do you mean? You're not going to eat that? You've eaten everything your entire life had no idea how quick picky eating sneaks up on you, how quick it spirals out of control, and how easily if you're not armed with the correct tools to move through it. It can be this phase that lasts what feels like forever and it can lead you to feeling like despair and frustration and what make you want to like rip your hair out and also leads to like intense worry and fear and you know how important nutrition is, especially as a dietician. And then to watch my kid like no longer eat meat and not care about veggies and not touch things and he would literally like food would go on his plate and he'd go blah, blah, blah until I took it off and I'm like what is happening?
Speaker 2:And I found myself with my very own picky eater, and at the time I was actually a corporate dietitian helping patients who were tube feeding so they weren't able to swallow by mouth, get off the tube and go back to eating by mouth or for sometimes, the very first time.
Speaker 2:So kids who are three, four, five, 10 years old for the very first time putting food in their mouth.
Speaker 2:And so I was a part of those feeding teams and that was my favorite part of my job and realized that some of these same methods and techniques would work on kids who had picky eating tendencies. I fell in love with the process of reversing picky eating with my kid and decided to start sharing about it. At the time I had like a very generic food blog about just like nutrition in general, loved writing about it, sharing about it on social media, shared about our picky eating experience and blew up from there and have absolutely enjoyed and found like my passion in life to raise happy, healthy, intuitive eaters, very independent eaters, because these kids are going to grow up one day to be adults making their own decisions around food, and I think it's so important to start them young on getting a wide variety of food. And I know how frustrating it can be for parents and so I really found an area where I'm really passionate and parents need help and kind of marry the two together.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love it. I love it so much.
Speaker 2:I mean, it reminds me of that quote, like what is it you always think you're really good parent until you?
Speaker 1:become a parent, and then you realize I think everybody feels that way.
Speaker 1:Um one of the things that I always say is, if you have children, it's not a, it's not when, or if you're going to have picky eaters, it's when, like at some point or another. I mean I have four children, so it feels like one of my children picks when they're going to be a picky eater and like they all go through a phase and the phase maybe they'll get out of it and then they go back into it and like it's this constant. I at least one of them is choosing to be a picky eater every night at dinner is how I feel, for sure.
Speaker 2:And that's true. They've done polls, which I think are so fun, especially American kids, but this is a worldwide problem. By the way, a lot of parents like to say that, like this is an American problem. It's not. It's a worldwide problem. I get DMs every day from people all across the world that they have picky eaters, but, that being said, is that picky eating 60% of families say that they have a picky eater or had a picky eater and what's really interesting about the term picky eater is that it's not defined, so that's one of the first things that we talk about is like what is a picky eater?
Speaker 2:Because there is certainly like pickiness. It's like they just didn't eat their chicken tonight, they're so picky. But then there's also like my kid will eat three things and they have to be the exact right brand, otherwise they won't eat it and both those kids will be called picky and it's a totally different thing because it's such a spectrum.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Well, that's I was going to say is like how can you when? When's the line? Like when, at what point are you? Like I have a picky eater and I need to do something about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is a great question. I think the first and foremost thing that I always say is like, trust your gut. Like I think moms parents in general know their kids best. If something's off, if something's not feeling right, if it's stressing you out, then it's a problem that needs to be addressed Now. You can bring it to your pediatrician. You can seek support in another way. You can try different things you find on podcasts or you know Instagram or whatever. You know whatever tools you have at your disposal. Of course, I have, my course, a deeper level of understanding of what's going on. And then there's feeding therapy, right. There's all sorts of different ways that you can get help.
Speaker 2:The first thing I always tell parents is check in with your gut. Is this a problem? Is this making your life more stressful? Is it something that you're worried about? Nightly? Do you find yourself trying to figure out what they're going to eat and how to present it and tips and tricks, and I'm going to sneak it in here and I'm going to ask them to eat three more bites and then they can watch their iPad or whatever it might be doing those tactics. Then we start to have a problem on our hands because we're engaging in nightly probably nightly power struggles over food, but at the same time, there are certain things you want to look for. So there's no definition, and so, by working with thousands of families, I've come up with a definition that works really well for me and my clients and parents, that they can identify, like is this really a problem? More, like you said, is this just a phase, it's going to pass, it's going to be fine.
Speaker 2:So typically recommend, if your kid is eating less than 30 foods, or it has been, quote unquote, picky eating less than 30 foods for three months or longer, that's going to be some signs that, like, might be worth it to start trying something new. You have to do something different if you want a different outcome, right. And so the other thing to look for is, like, really strong aversions or opinions to foods, right. So if, like, you're cooking something, or it smells a certain way in the house, or you put it on their plate and put it in front of them and they yell yucky, you know, run away from the table, push the plate away, put their you know, plug their nose, whatever it might be, all of those really strong reactions consistently around food is probably a sign that something needs to change.
Speaker 2:If they are really strict or very specific about the types of food that they'll eat so different flavors, different textures, different temperatures, different brands like some kids are really stuck on brand names that's another sign or symptom that something needs to change something. You know there's certainly help to be had there for a lot of kids If they're really particular with those types of foods. You might just notice like with my kid he was like a fruit monger he ate all the fruit in the world, but he would only eat fruit and sometimes bread.
Speaker 2:And so I was like, okay, I've got this kid who will eat fruit and bread and that's the only thing. And variety is one of the most important things for all of our health, but especially for kids, with their gut health there, which will affect their sleep, their attitudes, their mood swings, their ability to grow and develop, their brain health, all these things. So, of course, gut health is so important and variety is the most important thing there. So we want to make sure that they're having a variety of foods. So a really great way that I kind of tell parents you're on the right track is you should have between five and 10 foods in each food group. And the other thing I mean really one of the worst case scenarios is that it's starting to affect their growth, right, like we're saying, they're no longer growing, they're no longer growing up or out, they're not getting weight, they've kind of plateaued. It's like a big warning sign that something needs to be done.
Speaker 1:Well, and one of the things that I love about you is your ability to go as really picky eaters, like kids are only eating a couple things, but also like you're there because you're a dietician and you've dealt with it before, but also moms who are just frustrated that their kids aren't eating their dinner. Like you could go just as superficial as that and feel like maybe my kid isn't termed like a picky eater but you have resources inside your course and on your Instagram because I've seen it all that. Help with that as well, because I would say for myself my kids can eat more than 30 foods. But the stress of having you know one night a week of a kid that just refuses to eat their food, but having in my pocket things from Alyssa that I know that I can do to help them and get them to eat their food just making my life less stressful and less chaotic around dinnertime Like that is life-changing in and of itself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's one thing that when I get parents who come and work with me, I get the spectrum, I get people from all levels and you know they're like, oh, my kid's been picky for nine years or my kid's been picky for three months, and so we really have the same tactics, the same strategies in place. It's really about how we use those strategies and how consistent we are right. So consistency is going to be super important for picky eating. So once you have the tools, once you have the strategies in place, then it's really about leveraging them for your kids specifically and making sure that we're matching kind of the right strategy for your kid.
Speaker 2:And I think one of the things that parents really enjoy when they come to you know, my, my Instagram and kind of learn from me, is that it's not going to be wildly different depending on your kid, of like how picky they are or how long they've been picky. It's really about just continuing to learn the strategies and using them, versus thinking about it in this kind of like really passive way that a lot of parents get stuck in this trap of oh, it's just a phase, it'll pass, and it's like maybe or maybe not, and sometimes how we respond to that phase is what affects how long it will last, how bad it will get, how frustrating it can be as a parent to watch your kid not eat something that is literally life-sustaining for them.
Speaker 1:So what do you do with moms who maybe don't have little children anymore? They're you know, they're out of the toddler phase. You kind of feel like that ship has sailed. Like they're 10 year old. They're picky eaters. Is it changeable? Is it reversible at that age? Can I do something about it?
Speaker 2:Yes, 100%. I always say it's literally never too late. Now, the longer that a kid has been picky typically, although not always, because it really depends on why they have this picky eating behavior that's really what we see right. We have to know what's happening underneath. But, typically speaking, it's probably become a habit at age 10, where we didn't address that underlying root cause for picky eating that's causing the behavior. And because that didn't get addressed, now it's become a habit, and habits are really hard to break, especially with kids who tend to have, you know, just picky kids in general tend to be a little bit more stubborn or be. You know, they're really good at digging in their heels. They found something that they need, you want them to have, and now all of a sudden they can get some sort of like power balance and power struggle in place because you know they know that you want them to eat. And so it's like it becomes this thing where it's not just like a toy or screen that you can just like turn off and be done Like, no, you have to eat Right. And so once it gets to the point of like age 10, it's now became a habit that you have to break.
Speaker 2:But what's really cool about age 10 is you can start to talk to them and reason with them more than you can with. Like. Their three-year-old does not care, whereas your 10-year-old can start to understand at least the basics of how your body works, how it functions best it can. You know, you can start to have conversations around them, around you, know how they slept or how they did at school and connect some of those things back to food and can start to have some of those conversations. So it's absolutely still reversible. It's not too far gone. I always tell parents like the only way to guarantee that your kids won't eat something is to stop serving it.
Speaker 2:You can't just you know, a lot of parents will be like, oh, it's a lost cause, I'll never serve broccoli again because they'll never eat it.
Speaker 1:It's like, yeah, they're never going to eat it because you stopped serving it, so like you do have to keep serving it and keep making it available and keep having those one of one of my like core memories I don't even know why it's deep in there was I remember every night at dinner time my mom would eat a salad, like after she ate her food. She would pile up the lettuce and pour the dressing on and I remember watching her do that and I would. I thought it looked so fun, like it was crunchy and it went. But every time I would make a salad for myself. It was gross, like I didn't like it, so I wouldn't eat salad. But I remember make a salad for myself. It was gross, like I didn't like it, so I wouldn't eat salad.
Speaker 1:But I remember watching my salad, that my mom eat her salad all growing up until it finally, like got to the point where I didn't think it was disgusting and I started eating it. So watching my mom do that and having those foods there and ready and available for me to eat they never forced me to eat my salad, but it was really like just it took time, it took being with the food to be able to feel comfortable with it and I always tell that to our members in the shop. Study of the same thing as like just have it there, just have it be present Cause sometimes you know, kids don't want to try new foods until they've been introduced to it. How many times there's like a number.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the average is 30, but my average of parents of picky eaters is more like 90, which is why I mean, when you think about it.
Speaker 2:So just when I like, take polls on my, but I've obviously have a biased audience. Like I have an audience of picky eaters, but the average is 30. So some kids will literally eat broccoli the first time they see it, and other kids need a hundred times for them to see it Right, and so we have the average of 30. Um, but that's such good advice, because the biggest best thing that we can do as parents is model the behavior we want our kids to eat. So you know, it was one of the or model the behavior we want our kids to have around food. Um, and when you were asking, like oh, is it too late for my 10 year old, it made me think of like for me.
Speaker 2:Now, I wouldn't call myself a picky eater, but there are certainly preferences that I have around food, as we all do, and one of those preferences has been I don't like mushrooms. I haven't liked mushrooms my entire life. Well, lo and behold, I took my own freaking advice, did my own strategies to myself, in front of my kids, to show them that it's possible to change Right, and now I like mushrooms.
Speaker 1:Now, I'm not going to put them on my salads or anything I don't.
Speaker 2:I still don't like. I would never like eat like a whole mushroom, like the texture freaks me out, but I like put them. I make an incredible mushroom pasta, a mushroom risotto. I love the flavor of mushroom. I found how I like them and so it was a really cool experience that I documented on my Instagram of going from hating mushrooms, literally wanting to throw up thinking about them, to now I enjoy mushrooms and I make several recipes every month with mushrooms in mind and my kids got to watch that and that was really cool.
Speaker 2:Again, for an older child, you know my son, I think, was seven yeah, he must've been somewhere around seven. Um, when he watched me go through that and you know what that does for him. He that opens up his brain to be like oh, I can change, I can change my mind, my mom can change her mind, and that's such a beautiful experience. And a lot of people DM me and be like do you work with husbands? Lol, or they'll be like oh well, my kid's picky and I know exactly why. It's because I'm picky. And I think the first step and it's really tricky because obviously I talk about picky eaters, but the best thing we can do is stop labeling them as picky. Stop labeling them as picky, stop labeling ourselves as picky, because that puts this belief and this identity to our kids or to ourselves. That's really easy to lean on. Oh, I don't eat that, I'm picky, right. It becomes really easy for them and us really in reality to say we don't eat these foods and it kind of closes off that channel of change.
Speaker 1:Awesome. So I mean, I hear about picky eating a lot, right, Because when we talk about saving money on groceries, that's a big burden, or just the burden of feeding a family Like this tends to be a huge burden that moms have. So can you speak to like what are some of the things? If I have a picky eater, what are some of the things that I can do to set myself and my child up for success around the dinner table? I think dinner is maybe where picky eating manifests itself. At least with my own children, Breakfast and lunch is kind of like tailored to them, Like I'm cooking them a meal so I know what they like. I usually cook what they like. Dinner time is my time to introduce new foods, kind of have more like exotic for them experiences with foods. So what can I do as a mom to help my children so it doesn't become this stressful like fight between parents and kids to get them to eat their dinner?
Speaker 2:Yeah gosh, there's so many ways that I want to go about this. First things. First is dinner is oftentimes the reason why it manifests a dinner is because there tends to just be more pressure around dinner time. The family's usually seated, there's more attention on the kid, there's more attention on you, people's moods are heightened.
Speaker 2:We had a bad day. We had a good day, we had a stressful situation come up at work and we may not be recognizing it, but we are bringing that energy to the dinner table. You know there tends to be more rules around the dinner table you have to stay seated, you have to wait until all the food served, you have to be excused, you have to. There's a lot for kids to be learning at dinner that are above and beyond just food, and so it's funny you say that one of the tips that I always recommend is start introducing new foods at breakfast, at lunch during a snack Like.
Speaker 2:I cannot tell you. I mean, probably the majority of my oldest son's vegetable intake has been snacks for like the past several years, because that's when he eats it best. So, although I recognize that parents have this desire for our kids to sit down, eat dinner, eat everything we serve them, try new foods, dinner may not be the first place for your picky eater, who you've been struggling with, to make those changes, especially if we already have maybe a negative connotation with dinner. It's not fun. You have to make them come sit at the table. You have to make them stay. You have to make them eat their veggies. Maybe you've gotten into by the way, me too, this is a hundred percent thing that I used to do into those power struggles of well, eat three more bites, then you can go watch your show or finish your plate. You have to be part of the clean plate club. There's a sticker chart involved, there's negotiation. Then you can have dessert only if you eat your veggies. You know if you already have established that at dinner, the best thing to do is actually create a new routine around lunch or breakfast. Their moods are oftentimes higher at breakfast. Some kids, their appetite is also highest at breakfast, so it could be a really good opportunity to serve new foods. So that's kind of the first thing alongside and kind of in parallel, I guess, to what you teach around.
Speaker 2:Food waste is one of the best things we can do with picky eaters, both from a food waste perspective but also for a not overwhelming them perspective, which is oftentimes hidden as picky eating, like you think they're picky, but they're actually just really overwhelmed at. What you're expecting from them is put way less on the plate. Don't give them a full, half a cup of broccoli when they've never eaten broccoli before. A that helps you with food waste, right? You're not putting food on the plate that needs to be thrown away or doesn't get eaten or whatever, but you're not overwhelming them either. So put one I'm talking like one floret of a floret of broccoli and put it on their plate. Always allow and create a culture, hopefully in your family, where they can ask for more. So they take a bite, they try it. Oh, actually it is really good, mom put you know. Okay, real quick tip too and I never mean to offend people, but I always say this tip and people get offended. You have to make your food taste good.
Speaker 2:I know that there's a time and a place for like bear chicken breast and like broccoli with no butter, but like you have to make it taste good, cause if your kid does take a bite of it, you want them to ask for more. You want them to enjoy it. So you have to make it taste good. And I know not everyone's on board with that. They want, like plain quote, unquote, healthy, but at the end of the day, butter and salt go a long way. People are actually liking it.
Speaker 2:So we put it on their plate, we don't overwhelm them, we start really small and that helps both from a food waste perspective but also for our picky eater. So those are some really good places to start. The next thing is you know, because so many parents get in this, what I call using pressure tactics. You know the bribing, begging, pleading, negotiating, guilting, even praising over praising your kid can be a pressure tactic, because we tend to get in to that habit. The first thing we need to do is stop that behavior, like literally just stop, and if you have to, you say nothing about the food, and I know that's really hard for a lot of parents because you're watching them not eat this food, but the first step is to say nothing. And then, of course, there are tactics to get our kids to eat food that have nothing to do with pressuring them into it, but it's opening the door, and one that you actually already mentioned. You didn't maybe even know that your mom was doing this, but she set the example for you because she recommended salad, not audibly, but by her behavior she recommended it.
Speaker 2:And I always kind of say it's like if you were to recommend a book to me, I would read it because I love you and you freaking have great taste in books and I know you. But if I see like a random Instagram ad for a book, I'm probably scrolling right past it, like no, thank you. So the best thing we can do to bridge our kids and invite them to try food is eat it ourselves. And that's sometimes a disconnect, because parents aren't necessarily eating with their kids. They're like it's miserable to eat with them. We feed them in front of the TV mac and cheese, you know whatever. They go to bed then me and my husband eat. Listen, I get it. I've been there, I've done it, I still do it Sometimes. I totally understand it. But if we expect our kids to eat salad but we don't eat salad, or we certainly don't eat salad in front of them, it's going to be a harder sell.
Speaker 1:Well, and I was going to say, especially if you have multiple children, the best tactic with my own kids is not Brad and I, it's with my other kids. So, for example, last night I made this. It was delicious beef stew. Everybody was like. All the older kids were happy about eating it. My husband was so excited. It tasted so good.
Speaker 1:Well, one of my children refused to even take a bite of it and and she's normally the one that is willing and my she's my probably most adventurous eater she would not eat it. And you know, then becomes a power struggle, like, well, what are we going to do to get her to try it? I didn't say anything. I actually had you in the back of my head Okay, don't say anything, don't make it a big deal.
Speaker 1:And my four-year-old, who is one of my pickiest eaters, starts eating it and he's like and you know, in his little cute baby voice it's like this is so good. And he's like downing the soup, which I'm like jaw dropping, Like don't say anything, don't mess this up, just let it be. And you know what she did. She took a bite and she liked it and she kept eating it, but it was only because the all of her three other siblings were eating it and were saying that it was delicious. So sometimes it's not even the parents, sometimes it's the siblings that really help, and I think my, my, my kids that are more adventurous eaters definitely help the kids that are less adventurous eaters.
Speaker 2:Isn't that amazing? And that is the power of reminding ourselves that we are not. Are like a lot of my audience, are first-time parents like so they don't have necessarily siblings or their siblings are babies or whatever. So don't necessarily have that. But even getting going to a park with a friend who has an adventurous eater can be really effective so you and I we could take our kids together, you know, to the park.
Speaker 2:He's not eating this food, let's bring it to a picnic. But you know, it really can be really motivating for kids, and this is sometimes. I even hear parents say like he eats fine at daycare, but then he comes home and he won't eat anymore and you're like, hmm, what's going on? There? There is some like social experience that they're getting from other people's opinions of food and they start recognizing they can have their own opinions, which I know is hard for parents of toddlers, but ultimately we do want that for our kids. Right, it's like the age old thing where I joke, where I'm like I know my kids will grow up to be leaders, but can they just not do that as a kid? Yeah, have them be adult leaders, please. Thank you, but you know, it is true, it's like the same thing with picky eating, like we don't want our kids to be picky, but we want them to question you know everything and make decisions of their own and have these thoughts. But that's going to come through during this picky eating phase and so the more we can work with them instead of against them, the better, because what we're actually doing is we're taking a natural phenomenon of them having autonomy and learning they can say no and asking questions and building these experiences and we're trying to stifle it. We're like no, no, no, don't have that experience, don't have that thought, don't, don't make that decision. Instead of working with them and figuring out why are you making that decision?
Speaker 2:What happened first, like with your daughter with this beef stew? I'm curious like what was you know? What was her past experience with beef stew or with beef in general, or what did she see that was happening? There's something behind that decision and if we can't always, but if we can figure out what is causing that behavior to show itself, we can fix it. And that is my entire methodology is saying, hey, your kid and my kid are going to be. Maybe they're not eating the beef stew, but it's for a different reason. And if we try the same tactics, it's not going to work because your kid is different than my kid. Different reason and if we try the same tactics, it's not going to work because your kid is different than my kid.
Speaker 2:So your kid responded to her siblings loving it. My kid might even push it further away because they're like, well, my sister loves it. Well, I don't love it anywhere. You know, it might be a totally different thing because for him it might be a texture issue with the beef and all I need to do is next time I serve it, I shred it instead of leaving it in chunks and maybe he'll eat it. So it might be a texture thing. It might be a fun bucket thing.
Speaker 2:Like a lot of kids won't even come to the table because, like, it's not as fun as going to play with their toys they're, they want to be with their friends, they want to be with their family, they want to be watching TV, they want to be playing with their trucks, whatever, they won't even come to the table and you have to make the table a. So it's all about figuring out, you know, what is causing their decision not to eat this food. We can't always know and I don't recommend asking because they're not always going to know either. But you have to be this like super spy investigator to figure out like, hmm, this only happens with beef, when it's cut this way or whatever it might be, and you start to kind of tease apart what's going on and what's causing the picky eating behavior, so that you can reverse it.
Speaker 2:Otherwise you are just going to be like white, knuckling it and hoping it goes away and living and dying by what your kids eat and don't eat. And we all know how stressful that can be and it's exhausting, and sometimes it doesn't go away. And that's the other thing that I get daily DMs saying I've been picky my whole life, my husband's been picky their whole life. Oh my gosh, my sister's, boyfriend's, brother's, hairdresser's, whatever, has been picky their whole life. We all can throw a rock and hit an adult who is picky and who eats quote unquote like a toddler and I'm not saying that like all of those people were picky toddlers and it just never went away. But more than likely that is true, and so it really is important to get ahead of it and have some tools in our tool belt to help our kids while they're young and while it's easier to reverse.
Speaker 1:I have a question and maybe this is maybe you can formulate my question for me or what I'm trying to share. But I think a lot of the time we as parents have this idea of what healthy eating looks like and we want our kids to eat all this variety of food, and sometimes we I think maybe I'm wrong, but maybe we overemphasize like just getting our kids to eat the food versus like the variety of food that we want. So can you speak to that a little bit of like? Maybe we need to take a chill, maybe it's our issue, our own issues with food that we're bringing to our children as well 100%.
Speaker 2:This happens all the time. I have like three different ways that I want to go with this, but in particular, the biggest thing that I see is that parents expect kids to eat way more than they actually need to eat, especially when it comes to protein.
Speaker 2:So they'll be really upset or worried about their kid's protein intake and I'll ask a few questions and be like well, how much protein is your kid eating or what foods are they eating? And it usually comes because they're not eating meat. Now listen, I'm a meat eater. I know everyone has different values around food. I don't think you have to be a meat eater to be healthy or whatnot, but they think, well, I serve meat. They don't eat the meat. Meat is protein. They're not getting enough protein. So we're stuck right and they're worried. Now, I'm not saying all parents who their kids don't eat meat shouldn't be worried or should be worried. I don't know. I think it's every. Every kid is different, but what I do know is that toddlers need for protein is far less than what an adult's need for protein is, and we get especially if you're on my Instagram feed you get like pelted with information. You better put protein shake before and after your meals and chicken and you better eat a whole freaking salmon for dinner.
Speaker 2:Like it is insane. Like so we get that messaging. And then we're heightened about ourselves. And then we're like, well, I want my kid to be healthy. And then we're heightened about them. And then they don't eat their meat and we're like, oh my gosh, Okay, the protein requirements is like you take your kids weight in pounds and you divide it by two, that's how many grams they need. So what I mean your kids may be 30 pounds, so maybe they need 15 grams of protein.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that's not very much. It's not very much.
Speaker 2:You're like that's one container of Greek yogurt.
Speaker 2:So, yes, I think sometimes our expectations are just off. Then we have this other kind of facet that comes into place where we again take our adult expectations, our adult history, our adult, our own history with food, our own relationship with food. Maybe we have a really big street sweet tooth and we don't want our kid to have that. Or maybe we know it's not healthy to skip breakfast and we get really triggered if our kid skips breakfast or whatever. I'm just giving examples. I don't really know, but whatever it is that everyone I mean literally you can't find two people who think the same food is healthy. I had this joke one time with a girlfriend of mine that I had listed granola as a healthy food and she had it listed as like an unhealthy food. Like I've binged on granola again and I'm like wait, isn't granola?
Speaker 2:a good food. It's just like hilarious how different our opinions on food are. We could go down a whole rabbit hole, but essentially we have all these beliefs that's our lens of what is healthy and what isn't healthy. Then we see our kid like asking for a second piece of cake at the birthday party and we're like, oh my gosh, they're going to turn in. We like think that who our kid is today is who they're going to be forever and it's only going to get worse.
Speaker 2:Like all, of a sudden they're binging on cake for the rest of their life. They can't say no to sweets, just like we can't say no, you know, more carbohydrates than we do, and we get stressed about it because we've been told that carbs are bad and evil and the devil or whatever, when in reality kids, toddlers, particularly need more carbohydrates than we do because they are growing so much faster than we are, so actually kids needs for carbohydrates become like 55 to 70% of their diet somewhere.
Speaker 2:Whereas for adults it's lower, right, like we're told, like 30 to 40%. Now I am not here to say what is or isn't right for you and your diet, but what I am saying is for toddlers specifically. They are growing like fricking weeds, so they actually do need that fast energy. They're running circles around you when you're like barely keeping your eyes open after your third cup of coffee Right. Circles around you when you're like barely keeping your eyes open after your third cup of coffee, right. And that's because or not even because, but that causes a deep need, biological need for carbohydrates and fast energy. And so, 100%, we're just putting our lens of what is healthy and unhealthy onto our kids. Did that answer your question fully?
Speaker 1:A hundred percent. Well, I I was just going to say that me healing my relationship with food has helped me show up. Me healing my relationship with food has helped me show up better for my children and helps me hopefully not project those food issues that I have onto them, you know. So I think that's really important as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we're never going to get it perfect. I know a lot of parents will DM me and I had like a Halloween post go viral around Halloween and it was about how to talk to your kids about sweets and it was just to get us thinking. Right, it's just to get us thinking. It's absolutely in no way, shape or form meant to shame anyone or tell you this is exactly what you have to say, like follow the script a hundred percent, but it's how we talk about food with our kids and how we talk about sweets and and candy in general. And so many parents felt so bad like, oh, I ruined my kid. I found this after Halloween. I'm like no, you didn't. Like every opportunity of eating is another opportunity for them to grow their relationship with food and for you to facilitate it and your kids eat a lot.
Speaker 2:right, like that's three meals a day plus one, two, maybe even three snacks a day, every day of their life, and so we have this really great opportunity. We can never really get it wrong, it's just moving forward. How are we going to talk about it and how are we going to empower our kids to learn how their body works best around food and not fear food and know what serves them and what doesn't?
Speaker 1:or I mean, I think it's a continual process, right, Like you're never going to figure this out a hundred percent. But what does it look like? A mom who has helped, like you know, helped their children with picky eating?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love this question. I don't know that anyone has ever asked this question in this way.
Speaker 1:I love it. I know that's always the goal right.
Speaker 2:Like, let me find a question they haven't answered before, I think, when I think of what the goal is, what the end zone looks like for a parent who reverses pick eating in their kid, is there's two parts of it. Right, there's your kid and then there's you. There's a selfish part.
Speaker 2:We're going to start there, the selfish part for me is I get to cook what I want, when I want for my family. I love to cook. I don't love to cook when I have a tiny tyrant telling me what does and doesn't smell good in my kitchen. I'm like immediately zero, I don't want to be doing this. I don't like to cook when I only have four meals I can cook and when I only have 10 meals on rotation. I like to try new recipes. I like to try new ingredients. We talked about this. I was on Rachel's podcast. I talked about how much I loved all these things, or rather, when she was on my podcast, anyways. So on my podcast, anyways. So there's freedom in being able to feed your family in a way that you're excited about.
Speaker 2:There's freedom in sitting at the table and enjoying each other's conversations and connecting with your kid over meals. Like I said, it's happening a lot. You are eating likely. At the very least, you're probably eating together one to two times a day. At the very most, four to six times a day you're eating together with your little one. I would like, I would prefer that those meals are full of connection and bonding and not power struggles and distance that's being built between you two and really does lead to resentment and frustration and anger and despair, where you just want to feed them, send them to bed and then you get to eat by yourself. Right now, there's always time and a place for mom to eat by herself and that's always enjoyable. But when you actually enjoy meals with your kid because picky eating is no longer a thing that you're stressing about, you're worrying about, you're spiraling about, you're getting in fights over is something that I didn't fully expect. When I reversed picky eating, I knew meals would be better, but I didn't realize how much bonding and connection there can be because we were so hyper-focused on what he's eating, how much he's eating. If he's eating, what I should do to make the meal different getting up, getting down, cutting his food a certain way, like just all these hacks and tricks that just worked for a little bit of time and then eventually petered out. So there's like the selfish part. Then there's the parts for them. So there's like the selfish part, then there's the parts for them. I'm going to get emotional Hands down.
Speaker 2:One of the best things we can do for our kids is set them up for success long-term in life with their health. And when we have kids who are picky, they tend to prefer more processed foods. They tend to prefer a very limited quantity of food. So even if they are eating whole foods but it's only two or three things or 10 things or even 20 things, that limited, varied in their diet is something that will produce a not super stellar gut health. And gut health is the foundation of our health, not only as kids, but also that leads into adulthood.
Speaker 2:Actually, my gut health, as it was when I was a kid, is still impacting me today, and that gut health for our children, in these moments of tantrums and hormones and emotions and sleep issues and social issues and learning capacities are all gut health, has their hand in everything. So it's like, literally, I think of it like an octopus. It touches every area of our life. Gut health controls it, gut health affects it. So if we don't have a varied diet, our gut health gets out of whack, which then affects almost I mean I would literally. It would be hard pressed to find an area of your health that gut health doesn't affect. And so when we're struggling with excessive tantrums, when we're struggling with sleep issues, when we're struggling with social issues, if we're struggling with learning issues, sometimes gut health, if not, isn't the root cause, but it could be playing a role in it.
Speaker 2:And gut health is, like I said, directly related to variety. So when we talk about picky eating, I don't mean to fear monger by any means or stretch of the imagination, but it is so important to optimize, especially these first few years of our kids, health through a variety of foods. And so I think why I'm so passionate about it is because it was so confusing to me as a mom and even as a dietitian, to hear the mixed messages of the first six years or seven years or whatever scientists are saying these days is most important for your kid's brain development and health and all these things. And it's so important, it's so important, it's so important and it's totally fine if all they eat is mac and cheese and grilled cheese for these years. And you're like wait, I know that nutrition is important, I know how important that is for me, I know that it's important for my kid, but I kind of get this mixed messages from doctors, from other friends have just waited out, it's just a phase, it'll go away.
Speaker 2:But also these years are like the most important and those two ideas just like could not live in my head simultaneously. Like I could maybe go a few days or weeks and then all of a sudden I would just like break down and be like I have to do something about this. And then I would kind of like silence myself and like, no, it's fine, just wait it out. Goldfish, you know, whatever, at least they're eating, right, like, at least they're eating. And then I would spiral again in a few weeks and it was not worth it to me to have these ups and downs of is he growing? Is he developing?
Speaker 1:no-transcript. Really it it changes your life, it changes your children's life and it'll and it's generational right, like if our children, their children's children, it's all. It can really change the trajectory of how we look at food and how we show up at the dinner table. So, alyssa, you've shared so many good things with us today. I'm sure the listeners are just like so thankful for what you've offered. Where can they find you if they want more of what you offer? Where should they go?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I'm nutrition for littles pretty much anywhere.
Speaker 2:Instagram is my favorite place to hang out, although I do love to talk, so I have a podcast nutrition for littles and then I also have a free class.
Speaker 2:I talked about this during the episode, but the biggest thing that I think it's missed in the picky eating conversation is parents really have this belief that picky eating is a problem.
Speaker 2:And I'm not saying it's not a problem, it bothers our life, but it's actually not a problem. It's a symptom of something deeper going on, and so that in my free class, I break that entire concept down of what I mean by that and what those root causes might be for your kid and why what you're seeing on the internet, when you see like hacks and tips and tips and strategies or whatever for picky eaters, either works for a short period of time and then peters out or doesn't work at all. There's a reason why that's happening, and so in that class, I really delve into what are the root causes behind picky eating that's causing this behavior in our kids, so that we can pair the right strategies. Otherwise it's literally mind numbing. It's like this is worthless. This is, of course. We're throwing in the towel because we're doing the wrong thing for the wrong problem and that's exhausting and it's you know we're all going to burn out doing that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I I've taken the class. I'm in Alyssa's tabletop community and I just can't even. I've seen a lot of different picky eater. You know people that help and Alyssa by far is the most comprehensive and for sure the the best help, what it's been for my children. So I can't recommend that class enough and you enough.
Speaker 2:Thank you, thank you so much I just think we pair so perfectly together, which is why we wanted to be on each other's podcast, because we have this desire, as moms and parents, to feed our kids, feed them well and not waste money.
Speaker 1:moms and parents to feed our kids. Feed them well and not waste money.
Speaker 2:It's all important, right Like this is such a big area we talked about it before of our mental load is cooking and feeding our family and making sure they're well fed and actually eating the food on their plate. So it all goes hand in hand.
Speaker 1:And I firsthand have seen like the good that Alyssa does and how impactful that is to you, like you want, you genuinely want to help people and I think that's super powerful and she does. She helps people and it is life-changing for all these moms and families. So thank you for what you do, alyssa, and thanks for coming on the podcast.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.
