Money Mom Podcast
Welcome to The Money Mom Podcast—the ultimate guide for moms who want to take control of their finances, crush debt, and create a life of financial freedom and abundance. Hosted by Rachel Coons, a budgeting expert and mom of three, this podcast is your go-to resource for practical tips, mindset shifts, and empowering strategies to help you manage your money with confidence.
Whether you’re navigating grocery budgets, tackling debt, or dreaming of building wealth for your family, each episode offers bite-sized, actionable advice to make money management simple, stress-free, and even enjoyable. With relatable stories, expert insights, and a dose of mom-to-mom encouragement, you'll learn how to transform your finances—one small step at a time.
Tune in every week to discover how to save more, spend smarter, and feel empowered to create the financial life you deserve. Because when moms thrive financially, families flourish.
Money Mom Podcast
76: Part 2: The importance of healing your relationship with money and how that affects everything in your life
In this follow-up to last week’s episode, Brad and I go deeper into the exact mindset work that transformed how we experience money, and why that shift changed our marriage, careers, and day-to-day peace (even while still carrying student loans). If you missed Part 1, start there, it lays the foundation for today’s conversation.
We talk about the moment Brad realized he had given power to money, how reframing money as neutral (a simple tool and flow of energy) dissolved shame and anxiety, and the practical exercises we used to rewrite old money stories like “money is evil” or “we never have enough.” We also unpack worthiness, judgment, and why more income alone rarely fixes the stress.
In this episode:
- Identifying your “money story” and testing whether it’s universally true
- Replacing fear-based beliefs with evidence-based, empowering ones
- Experiencing money as flow, giving and receiving without guilt
- Letting go of judgment (of others and yourself) and finding real freedom
- Why transformation follows a commitment (“transaction before transformation”)
- How mindset shifts can improve work, relationships, and financial decisions
If you’re ready to heal your relationship with money, we’re kicking off a Money Mindset Challenge inside Money Mom Club, you’ll go through my guided audios and join live calls with a supportive community. Members get access included.
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🎧 Start with Part 1: [Apple Podcasts] [Spotify]
💗 Join Money Mom Club & the Money Mindset Challenge: [Click Here]
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xoxo,
Rachel
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Welcome to part two of the conversation that I have with my husband, brad, about money and how healing our relationship with money changed everything for us. If you haven't listened to part one, go back. It released last week. I definitely think you're going to need to listen to that to understand what we're going into. It kind of lays the foundation of this week, so go back and listen to that if you haven't. And this week we're getting into the real meat and potatoes of what that looked like and how it changed everything. So stay tuned.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Money Mom podcast, the show where we empower moms to take control of their finances, break free from money stress and build a life of freedom, confidence and abundance for their families. I'm your host, rachel Koons, mom money mentor and your personal cheerleader on this journey. Whether you're here to save money, pay off debt or dream bigger for your family's future, you're in the right place here. We believe that being a mom is already a full-time job, but your role in shaping your family's financial success is just as important. And the best part, you don't need to sacrifice everything to start winning with money. Let's get started. This is the Money Mom Podcast.
Speaker 3:She sees me behind closed doors and things like that, and we're just on a walk one night. She's like, hey, I'm doing this money mindset work and like I think you need this. And so I embarked on participating in that money mindset course and it changed my life, yeah, and and from that moment it changed everything as I went through it. But that was like a pivotal moment Like when you talk about a shift in life was going through that money mindset, learning about my money story, going through that money mindset, learning about my money story and I had identified that the reason I think I was so anxious and depressed and fearful is because I gave all my power to money, like money ruled over me.
Speaker 3:In reality, money is just neutral, it's not good or bad, it has no power, it's just a symbol of trade, right, and I had given it this power. And so I, through that exercise, I took my power back and it changed everything. So the way I showed up at work, the way I performed at work, I made more money by fixing my money mindset, because it wasn't evil anymore, like it was okay that I had it too.
Speaker 1:And I remember, I remember. So I the reason I ran into this money mindset course was because I again entrepreneur had a business coach and my business coach was like, hey, if you're going to be in a space where you're asking people for money and you're spending money as a business owner like you need, your relationship with money is going to come up in all these experiences. So I was like, oh, this is really important for me. I'll start, you know, doing this for myself. And as I was listening to it, I was like this is what everybody needs. But then I'll start, you know, doing this for myself.
Speaker 1:And as I was listening to it, I was like this is what everybody needs. But then I kind of made the connection with Brad. I was like I think I think, when I said to you was like I think all of the stress and anxiety you feel in life day to day, it stems from money. Like you're feeling stressed about money, you're feeling anxious about money, and so like that was the, that was the catalyst for you to go and and to really dive into your relationship with money and what that meant.
Speaker 3:And here's the other interesting thing was so now I'm several years of being a dentist like did we have money?
Speaker 1:I mean yeah, we were not struggling, yeah.
Speaker 3:Like we were making money and it still didn't more money income income. More income didn't fix the problem.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's well, that's one of the reasons inside the Money Mom Club that we have the money mindset course is like you can do the work, you can save the thousands on groceries, you can budget your way, you can make income, but like if you do not experience money differently, nothing will change. You can have more of it and money will still be hard. And you can have less of it and money will still be hard unless you get off the emotional rollercoaster, unless you stop giving your power away to money, which only happens when we do the work Right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so I mean I think this is people are always like why don't they teach high schoolers how to you know? Why don't they teach them? Economics or how to pay taxes or how to. It's like yeah, they should teach them this too. Like this is a hundred percent. This is something that we should be learning from our youth.
Speaker 1:I remember one day, after we had taken the course it was like a 30 day audio course or whatever that we were doing together and I remember one day do you remember this, he came into the kitchen I'm like cooking dinner or something and you have a penny in your hand, do you remember this? And you were like, look, I ha, I found a penny on the ground and I picked it up Money flows to me and it flows from me, or something.
Speaker 1:And it was like, yeah, I'm bringing money in and like like when's the last time you like picked up a money or a penny? And thought that. But I was like, wow, that's, that's the power of what we're doing. Is like money is everywhere. And I remember, like there wasn't there was a check that came in the mail for something as well. It was like a refund for something and you said this you're like money is abundant or like whatever it was, and I was like, wow, this is like really totally changing our mindsets.
Speaker 3:And so then it it. It really changed everything. It opened the opportunity to then continue to look into myself. My business began to do better. My relationships with people began to do better. I changed judgment of other people. I remember Rachel's sister, amber. We were down at Huntington.
Speaker 1:Beach Biceps after babies. You guys probably maybe know of her.
Speaker 3:And you know she's done some of this work before too and we were walking by just these multimillion dollar California coastal homes with Porsches and Ferraris out front and I was like look at all these snobby people and Amber's like, hmm, like are they? Like? Yeah, she's like, because I think money just makes you more of what you really are and I just heard Dave Ramsey say that the other day. It's like if you're a good person, money makes you do more good and if you're an evil, bad person, money makes you just do bad. Like it just is a magnifying lens of who we are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and one of my coach's favorite things that he says is people are afraid to make money, and he's like we need money in the hands of good people. We don't want money in the hands of good people, we don't want money in the hands of bad people, and so it's a very valiant effort to have abundance so that you can do good with it, because it's harder to do good in this world if you don't have extra.
Speaker 1:You know that's something that I think it's an important value for both Brad and I. We've always been pretty giving, naturally, but I think we even more now see the value in that. Would you say that is correct.
Speaker 3:Yeah, for sure. And also the feeling of giving and receiving around money is totally neutral.
Speaker 1:Okay, but so tell the listeners what the work is that you feel like. Like, what are some of the things that you did in this experience? Okay, because we're talking a lot about transformation. What's changed?
Speaker 3:but like, maybe the listeners kind of like, what does that? The reason I gave that background was because one of the beginning processes is what is your money story? What is your story around money? And you know, there's things like I heard in, like money doesn't grow on trees, or I'm a day late and a dollar short. Um, you cannot serve two masters, you cannot serve God and mammon, like you can't be faithful and have lots of money. That's not true, but those are the things I heard and I believed, um, and I think it was always like we don't have enough. We don't have enough, we don't have enough scarcity.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it was like get that money and hold onto it, yeah, um. And so part of the work is identifying and, whether it was by, you know, intention or not, like we all have these different stories that our parents taught us, or our caregivers, or those around us as we were raised, or our neighborhoods or our environments, and so it's identifying, like what is your story? And then the work is to address each of those stories, and so one of them, like, like you know, money is evil.
Speaker 3:Like you cannot serve God and mammon, like you can't do good and have money. And so then what you do is like, if that's the story I'm telling myself, you just look at all the opposites of like okay, like who's someone you know that has lots of money and is also a really good person, and so you just rewrite that story and you show yourself the evidence that your current belief system is probably not true.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, do we know with truth, it has to be universally true.
Speaker 1:That's one of the works that we do. So if you have a belief in a situation around money, then you have to say is this true for every situation? And if it's not true for every situation, then is it really a true? Is it really true? And then you have to break down that belief of you know the different experiences that you've had that could counteract that belief and then replacing that belief with a new belief. And and what is the new belief that you chose? If money, if money is evil, what is the belief that you chose?
Speaker 3:Well, money is neither good or bad.
Speaker 1:It's neutral. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And that, um, again, I think it's more of like a magnifier of of who people truly are. And then another one too. It reminded me you said what's one some of the work that you do. Another one is to ask yourself how do you feel when you receive money?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, oh yeah, that's a big one.
Speaker 3:How do you feel when you give away money or spend money? And so some of the work is also to identify how you're feeling in those situations and to find out why you're feeling that way and to kind of rewrite the story, because it's usually mostly not true.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So when I spent money I felt bad, yeah, guilty Like.
Speaker 3:I was losing something, giving it away. I'm not supposed to spend it. Um, you know, if you don't spend money, it doesn't have any power. Like you're supposed to use your money, like it's you got to spend it, um. And so then I I changed the story that I'm not spending money, like if I, if I go to McDonald's and I'm interacting with the cashier, I can look at the cashier and the cook and the person taking the drive-thru orders and as I make my purchase for my McDonald's and I give them $15, I'm not spending my money. It's not going away.
Speaker 3:There's an exchange of energy. The money is a representation of, of my energy being transferred to. It pays some of the wages of the cashier, the cook and the drive-through attendant, and then they're able to take that money and then bless their family and that money turns into um school lunches or soccer team or soccer Jersey for their kids or family, or vacation, or experiences, or investments. And money is actually more like a river and it flows through all of us and so I'm not giving or taking away from anyone or anything, but I'm exchanging and flowing with everybody. That it's a connection, and so that was some of the work that changed my experiencing my experience when purchasing something. Yeah, that maybe I used to feel like, oh my gosh, it's 350 dollars. Like that is so much money and it's more so like, well, no, that item has a value of 350 dollars and I'm exchanging my energy for those who created that item.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, so, yeah, so powerful. The flow of energy like this flow like coming from me, coming into me, is like. So it was really freeing for me as well, because I am and I've talked about it before I am naturally my money personality is a scarcity saver, Like I just want to hoard all the money and save all the money. I don't like spending it, and so this this ability for me to be able to spend money was so freeing.
Speaker 1:But I also think a lot and I deal with a lot of moms who are the opposite, where they are struggling to hold onto money, and sometimes that goes down to like a worthiness. So that was the big work that I did was like am I worthy to have money, do I feel worthy to have abundance in my life? And that. I don't know if you dealt with that as much, but for me for sure it was like I'm not. I'm not worthy to make good money in my business and actually hold onto it, and so I see that a lot as well.
Speaker 3:You just asked me whether I felt that or not.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I think it's consistent with everyone is that at some point you will learn that about yourself, and so, whether you consciously know it or subconsciously like I think, I subconsciously was at a point where, like, maybe I didn't deserve more or things like that. I don't know if I could consciously say that, but I think it was there yeah and I think it's there for all of us we, at some point we put limitations on ourselves and we're designed to be beings of existence with unlimited potential and opportunity right like that's our, that's like the intention of of the universe or our divine nature is infinite progress and
Speaker 3:growth and expansion yeah and so if we can change our, our mindset with things that are taught in the money mom club, then you'll have an infinite progression in life, which I think brings joy and fulfillment.
Speaker 1:And now, like, how do you feel? This was something I know changed for me, so I'm wondering if it's similar to your. But like when you see other people have excess, a lot of money, how does it make you feel? You said it was really you judged a lot at the beginning when you were experiencing that. How do you feel now?
Speaker 3:So, coming full circle like are you kidding me? What a life transformation to not look at people and judge them based on circumstances, whether it's more or less, and so I'm a more connected human to other people in my community.
Speaker 1:Cause you just don't even care. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Because it it's neutral yeah.
Speaker 1:Like, how many times do we pass judgment on someone who has less than us or someone who has more than us and we put stories in our head about who they are and why they are the way that they are. But if we just look at it and say it doesn't, like money doesn't mean anything, right, money holds. Money holds no judgment and and going through life if you, as a listener, just think about how often you place judgments on other people based off of money, like anything that has judgments on yourself or judgments on yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it goes any way, like how often are we judging? And how much more freeing and how much more quiet would your mind be if those thoughts didn't come in, if those judgments, and you could just go throughout your day and love people and and not care.
Speaker 1:You know that to me is like oh, that was that was so freeing for me to not hold on to that yeah, and I think free freeing is the right, right end result of this right and exactly because, again, you were feeling stressed with money, you were feeling anxious, you were feeling all these emotions and, like it, nothing changed about our money situation yeah, I will say, like I said, business did better and maybe, but it wasn't fast no, no, no, it was, and I was healed and fixed before that happened. Yeah, but did business change or did how you look at it change too Sure? Like you experienced the gratitude in the change.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:Like would you have felt that business changed that much had you not done the money work? Like would you have even noticed?
Speaker 3:You probably would have still felt stressed and anxious. Right, right, right right, right, right.
Speaker 1:Or did business change because you did the work?
Speaker 3:I mean, we'll never actually know, but I guess my point is, whether business changed or not didn't matter, because what came first was correcting my relationship with money.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:And so whether it changed or not didn't matter anymore. Yeah, yeah, because I began to feel a freedom that I didn't have in my life, like I didn't have in my life, like I didn't need to change my money situation. I needed to change my money relationship, yes, and then everything else changed. So, no, it's one of the most singular, greatest things I've ever done, and if you want to piggyback off of our relationship of being married, like you know, that stands next to it Well, and Of most important, pivotal things in life.
Speaker 1:Well, and I was just having a conversation with a friend of ours who we are pretty good friends with the husband and wife, and she was you don't even know who this is, I haven't told you about this, but she was expressing how, like money has really caused some real stress in their marriage and you know, they got themselves into accidental debt and they're trying to get out of it. And maybe I was being a little flippant in my response to her, but I was like she was actually asking me about money. Mom club. She was like should I join? Is this a place for me, Kind of thing.
Speaker 1:And I was telling her, I was like yeah, heck, yes, get yourself in the doors Like we'll do the work with you. But I was like, and I was like Brad and I literally have not had an argument about money. We don't argue about money Like we argue about plenty of other things. Do not worry, we're not perfect but, like money, doesn't cause stress in our marriage and 60, no 60% of marital arguments. Less studies have shown 60% of any marital conflict or arguments stem from money.
Speaker 3:I still have over $300,000 in student debt. Yeah.
Speaker 1:We're still. We still have debt. Yeah, we have practice debt. We have dental school debt. Yeah, we still have debt. Yeah, we have practice debt.
Speaker 3:We have dental school debt.
Speaker 1:We have a lot of debt.
Speaker 3:But debt is like a vehicle now I mean these are like investment debts, but yeah, that used to weigh on me so heavily like day to day to day, and that weight is gone. I used to actually envision myself walking around with a ball and chain and that ball said student debt on it.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:And like like, yeah, I would visualize that. And that's gone now. Like I don't carry, I still have it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And it's actually more because the interest is so high. It just gets bigger actually.
Speaker 1:So anyway, so, anyway, and I think that's like the take home for this episode and why I wanted to bring Brad on here, because I say it a lot of like heal your relationship with money and everything will change, but like your money situation doesn't have to change. I talk to so many people who are stressed about debt, who are stressed about finances and paychecks and all the things, all the numbers, and, yes, we can do the work on like getting you extra money and figuring out how to balance the money coming in and the money going out. We can do that work. But unless we go to this deeper work, nothing will change with how you experience. We'll fix the problem, but the problem won't be fixed because we haven't gone to the deeper issues.
Speaker 1:It's like trying to fix strep throat or heal your strep throat by giving yourself Tylenol. We're going to get rid of some of the symptoms yeah, you're not going to have a fever anymore and you're not going to feel as crappy but we're not fixing the underlying issue here, and that is the issue. Everybody everybody can do the work. There's space and we're not perfect, right.
Speaker 1:Like we still have to do the work. I still read books, listen to podcasts, like I'm still constantly checking in with my mindset. It's not one and done, but I do think because we've healed a lot of the beliefs that we've had around money and our worthiness around it and the gratitude how much gratitude we have for money now, like we just experience it much differently so part of doing the work before you can do the work is you have to make a commitment and there has to be a transaction before there can be a transformation yeah, I say that a lot and and so like.
Speaker 3:You have to take a step to join and do this, and it's a root cause. As a dentist, I am sick and tired of people coming in and saying, oh, I have a pain, I have a hole in my tooth, I need you to fix it. And then I fix it, I treat the end result of the disease, but then I see them in three or six months and they have the exact same problem again, and so reacting to the end result of a process never heals you, and doing the money mindset work is identifying the root cause and treating the root cause of the problem, and then you can live in abundance and longevity.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and one of the reasons I wanted to release this episode today. Specifically, we are in the Money Mom Club. We are starting a Money Mindset Challenge, so we're going through my course hand-in-hand with the members next week. We have our first call on Monday of next week, where we're going to hit it hard that first day and then send you off with some audio courses and to really heal your money relationship. And we've done this before and the transformations were fantastic and I still get messages about it, and so we're going to do it again.
Speaker 1:So if you haven't joined the money mom club, now would be the time to do it. Um, because of that experience that's happening. You get it for free when you join as a member. So, um, you know you can do the work absolutely on your own, you can put the time and effort in. But sometimes the transformation does begin with a transaction of really committing to yourself and your experience and investing in yourself and knowing that you are worth this. You are worth experiencing life differently and everything changes. When just a little bit changes, your whole reality can change. So thank you, brad, for coming on this episode.
Speaker 3:You're welcome, my pleasure.
Speaker 1:Before you leave, though, I do want you to share, because you know me better than anyone else. What's the one thing that you think my listeners don't know about me?
Speaker 3:that you want to share. Well, all my kids just got home from school.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And they sat next to me. I was on the couch, they joined me and then all of a sudden I smelled this putrid smell and they're taking their shoes off and they're taking their socks off. I should not have asked this question. And they were like you know. I was like, oh boy, your feet stink. And then my little four-year-old runs over and he's like, should we take off your shoes and smell them? I said he's like, should we take off your shoes and smell them? I said yeah, for sure. So he undoes my laces and jumps down and smells my feet and looks back at me, goes it doesn't smell.
Speaker 1:I said, yeah, y'all got your stinky feet from your mom really that's what you're gonna choose to share, that's right nobody I don't have that stinky of feet, no no, no, my feet are not ridiculously stinky, you are just abnormally un-stinky.
Speaker 3:It's a special gift of mine.
Speaker 1:Brad literally doesn't wear deodorant. I've never, ever needed to have, never had body odor and I've never smelled BO Ever.
Speaker 3:I've never smelled my dad's body odor.
Speaker 1:It's like we should genetically create. Yeah, this is like.
Speaker 3:Stanley Yelnats and holes Like there, and then the family yellnats and holes like there's something, and they fixed the stinky shoe problem with the magic onions. Like I might have magic onions in my DNA.
Speaker 1:We've got to figure this out because actually I feel very blessed to have fallen in love with a man that literally never has been and we don't have to buy deodorant. I mean, look at how much money we're saving yeah for sure.
Speaker 3:Also, not getting the aluminum exposure and getting Alzheimer's yeah, there you go, go.
Speaker 1:Well, I, that's hilarious, I do. I actually have never considered my feet stinky, so you're just normal but my children have stinky feet cuz they don't wear socks. No, they wear socks.
Speaker 3:They all had socks on. No, most people have stinky feet that's hilarious.
Speaker 1:Well, brad also has like a ridiculously sensitive nose yeah, so yeah, I'm like a bloodhound, yeah okay, well, thank you for joining in. I hope you guys learned something. I hope you had fun getting to know Brad a little bit better and let us know what you think and we'll see you in the next episode.
