105: You Make Good Money… So Why Are You Still Stressed?

You’d think making six figures would finally make you feel secure with money… but what if it doesn’t?

In this episode, I’m breaking down why more income isn’t actually the solution to feeling stressed, anxious, or “bad” with money... and why so many women are still struggling, even at higher income levels. I’m sharing the “leaky bucket” analogy to help you see exactly where your money is slipping away (and why it keeps happening on autopilot).

We’ll talk about the real reasons behind overspending, lifestyle creep, and emotional spending, and how your nervous system, beliefs, and identity are quietly running the show behind the scenes.

Because the truth is: no amount of money will fix a broken relationship with it.

If you’ve ever wondered why your numbers look fine… but it still doesn’t feel good, this episode will connect the dots and show you where to start.

✨ Inside this episode:

•  Why more money doesn’t equal more security 
•  The 5 “holes” draining your finances (without you realizing it) 
•  How your nervous system and identity shape your money habits 
•  What actually needs to shift to feel calm, confident, and in control 

This is deeper than budgeting. This is about finally feeling safe with your money.

xoxo,
Rachel

Where to find me:
Instagram: @heyrachelcoons

Join me for my free training to learn the 5-step RESET Framework: Register HERE

Transcript

Why Six Figures Still Hurts

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You'd think making six figures would fix all your money problems. But I'm talking to women every single day who either make six figures or their partners do. And they're still stressed, anxious, and feeling broke around money. And to be honest, I used to be one of those people. We've been taught in our society that more money equals more security. That if we just earn enough money over six figures, then all of our money problems will go away. But that's not actually how this works. And today I'm gonna show you why. So stay tuned. Hey there. Welcome back to the Money Mom channel. I am Rachel Koons, your host, money mentor, and I help women feel safe around money. I want you to imagine that your finances are like a bucket of water. And your goal is to keep as much water in the bucket as possible. Every month, water flows into that bucket, and that's your income. And then every month, there are holes in the bucket as well that water flows out of. You could have all of the water in the world pouring into your bucket, that six-figure income that we're talking about. And if your bucket is full of gaping holes, it's still gonna feel empty at the end of the month. You're still gonna feel broke and you're still gonna feel stressed. The holes in your bucket are a couple things. First, they are your unconscious spending patterns. We say unconscious because a lot of times we don't even realize that we're doing it. We don't realize that we're spending money in places that aren't connected with our value system. It's automatic, it's habitual, and it's not intentional. We're not intentional with where we're spending our money. The second type of hole is what we like to call lifestyle creep, where you start to make more money every single month, and then guess what happens? You start to spend more money too. And this happens to so many people, and rightfully so, right? Because as you start to earn more money, there's more money left over, which means you are naturally going to want to spend that money. But what happens is that the gap never closes. So you start making more money, then you start spending more money, then you're gonna need to start making more money to then spend more money. And it sometimes it will feel like you're always one step behind. Another type of hole in your bucket is your emotional spending, where you're trying to fill a void by not addressing the emotions that you're having and using buying things as a band-aid on that wound. So if you're stressed, if you're feeling anxious, if you're feeling bored, you then go and shop. You're using the spending money to feel better temporarily. The fourth type of hole in your bucket is beliefs around what you deserve with money. So if you're bringing in a good amount of income, you believe that you deserve to have nicer things. I make six figures. I've earned this, or you justify your spending because of the income that's coming in. And the last type of hole that we have is that you are not aware of your money personality. You don't know why you spend. You don't know what triggers you to spend. And then you also are operating on autopilot all the time where the spending happens and then we feel bad about it, and then we spend more, and then we feel bad about it again, and it just creates a cyclical pattern. But here's what I want you to know. And it might not even land with for you right now, but no amount of income will ever fix a leaky bucket. We can continue to pour water into that bucket. We can continue, we can make seven figures. And if you don't figure out the holes in your bucket, you're always going to feel stressed. You're always gonna feel like there is never enough money. So let's talk about why this happens. And most people don't want to address the root cause of their money problems or their self-sabotage or their negative behaviors around it, because it can feel very confronting and it can feel a little bit uncomfortable at first. But here's what most people don't understand that your nervous system, the way that your brain works, the way that your body reacts to your world is actually running your system. And it's not conscious, it's not logical, it's not even your budget or the numbers that are running the show. It's actually your nervous system. Because when you grew up, you learned certain things about money. Maybe money was scarce and you never had enough. Or maybe you had an abundance of money and now you don't treat it properly. Maybe money was used as a form to show love. So now you look at money connected to worth or deservedness. Maybe money was a source of stress. So now you avoid looking at it and you don't want to handle what it actually is. And your nervous system is actually wired. It's on autopilot and it's recreating these same patterns that you are comfortable with. Money also creates an identity, it makes you believe certain things about yourself that you don't even know you're thinking. And you are always going to spend your money to match that identity. It's not the other way around. The identity is set. We already know what we believe about it. And then our actions are going to align with that. Not because you actually want to spend your money that way, but you're living from a place of identity and belief and what you're supposed to have or you're not supposed to have based off of the money story that you've created. So it's actually not about earning more. It's about understanding your personality. It's about understanding your triggers. It's about rewiring the brain and how it experiences money on a day-to-day basis. And it's also about navigating that belief system and that identity system so that you can change how you show up about your money. This is why I'm so turned off by the budgeting world, is because it doesn't teach you these deeper problems that people have. Cause you're gonna budget and you're gonna be able to find extra money and the money might make sense, but you're still not gonna feel good about it. You can't feel good about money with just numbers alone. There's deeper work that needs to be done. You literally have to recreate your relationship with money. The goal is not to never have money problems. The goal is not to increase the income. The goal is actually not even to have more money in your life, it's to feel better about it. So you know why you're taking the actions you're having. You know why and when you self-sabotage and why it's happening. And then suddenly what will happen is that your six figures will start to feel abundant. It'll start to feel better. You're gonna feel more secure, you're gonna feel more in control. And the goal is to feel abundant. So you trust that money flows to you and it'll flow from you. And it's okay because you trust that it will always come back. This is the exact work that we do in the money mom inner circle. We don't teach you budgeting hacks, we teach you how to rewire your brain with money at the root of it. We patch the holes in your bucket and then your income will actually feel better. Now, we just started a brand new round right now. We're not accepting any more applicants. But if you are someone who wants to get in on the next round, drop a comment below and I will make sure to get you the info when we open up a new round. Okay, hopefully this helps. I'll see you guys in the next video.